Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Snow swirled outside Junk N’ Stuff, the shop looking as chaotic as ever with half-hung lights and decorations scattered across the counter. Henry Hart leaned against the register, absently scrolling through his phone, while Charlotte untangled a string of lights with the patience of someone trying to avoid actual work.

The front door burst open with a jingle, and Jasper stumbled in, his elf hat askew and his sweater blinking obnoxiously. He waved a glossy flyer in the air like it was a winning lottery ticket.

“Guys! Have you heard about the North Star Diamond?” Jasper exclaimed, breathless with excitement.

Henry barely glanced up. “Nope. Don’t care.”

“You should care!” Jasper insisted, slapping the flyer onto the counter. “It’s worth millions! And it’s on display at the museum gala tonight!”

Charlotte rolled her eyes. “And let me guess—you’re thinking about trying to buy it?”

“Of course not!” Jasper said, offended. “But think about it—it’s the most valuable thing in Swellview right now. What if someone tries to steal it?”

Henry snatched up the flyer, his brow furrowing as he scanned it. “It’s… big. Shiny. Expensive. Yeah, okay, I see the appeal. But the museum’s got, like, top-tier security, right? Motion sensors, lasers, guards—nobody’s breaking in there.”

“Exactly,” Charlotte said, pulling the lights taut. “It’s practically a fortress. If anyone’s dumb enough to try, they’ll get caught.”

“Unless they’re not dumb,” Jasper muttered.

Henry glanced up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jasper shrugged. “I mean, think about it. If someone smart really wanted that diamond, wouldn’t they find a way? Like, some evil genius? Swellview’s full of those.”

Henry chuckled. “Relax, Jasper. The cops have it covered.”

But even as he said it, a thought nagged at the back of his mind. Swellview was full of villains, and a diamond this valuable? It was practically begging to be stolen. He set the flyer down, but the idea lingered, refusing to leave.

Later, in the Man Cave…

Henry paced in front of the central console, his mind racing. The flyer sat in his hand, crumpled from how tightly he was gripping it.

“Henry, what’s your deal?” Charlotte asked, sitting on the couch and fiddling with her phone.

“It’s the diamond,” he said abruptly, tossing the flyer onto the table. “The more I think about it, the more I can’t shake the feeling that something’s gonna happen.”

Charlotte frowned. “Why? Because Jasper planted the idea in your head? Come on, you said it yourself—the museum’s got great security.”

“Yeah, but think about it,” Henry said, starting to pace again. “How many times have we dealt with villains who get past ‘great security’ like it’s nothing? Drex, the Time-Jerker, the Toddler—they’re all smarter than we want to admit. And if someone like that decides to go after this thing…”

Charlotte sat up straighter. “You’re worried the cops won’t be enough.”

“I know they won’t be enough,” Henry said, stopping in his tracks. “I mean, look at the flyer. Everyone in town knows the diamond’s there, and it’s basically screaming, ‘Hey, villains, come and get me!’”

Charlotte was quiet for a moment, considering his words. “Okay, so say you’re right. Say someone’s planning a heist. What do we do? Stake out the museum?”

Henry shook his head. “No. That’s reactive. If we wait until they make a move, it might be too late.”

“So what’s your solution?”

Before he could respond, the hidden door slid open, and Schwoz stepped in, holding a tablet. His expression was grim.

“Henry,” Schwoz said, his accent heavy with urgency, “you were right. I intercepted a message. Doctor Minyak is planning to steal the North Star Diamond tonight.”

Henry’s jaw tightened, his suspicions confirmed. He turned back to Charlotte, his voice firm. “Still think I’m paranoid?”

Charlotte sighed. "Alright then, let’s hear your plan.”

The Man Cave was abuzz with energy as Henry paced back and forth, his mind racing to pull together a plan. Charlotte leaned against the console, arms crossed, watching him with a mix of skepticism and curiosity. Jasper sat on the couch with an air of eagerness. Schwoz stood nearby, fiddling with a candy cane-shaped gadget, while Ray sipped from his ever-present mug of cocoa.

“Alright,” Henry began, stopping to face the group. “We know Doctor Minyak is planning to steal the North Star Diamond. If he gets it, he’ll probably use it to power some doomsday device or hold the city ransom.”

Ray raised an eyebrow. “Or worse, he’ll use it to fund another one of those Minyak-themed resorts. I still haven’t recovered from the one with the sulfur baths.”

Charlotte groaned. “Focus, Ray.”

Henry continued. “The museum’s security is good, but Minyak is better. We can’t just sit around and hope he doesn’t get it.”

“So, what’s your brilliant idea?” Ray asked, leaning back in his chair. “Let the cops handle it? Set a trap? Ooh, I know, we stand outside the museum with signs that say ‘Bad guys, keep out!’”

“No,” Henry said, his voice steady. “We steal it first.”

Ray choked on his cocoa. “What did you just say?”

“We steal it,” Henry repeated, walking over to the central console. He tapped a few buttons, pulling up a blueprint of the museum. “Look, if we get to the diamond before Minyak, he has nothing to steal. We’ll keep it safe until after the gala and then give it back. No harm, no foul.”

Charlotte rubbed her temples. “You do realize how insane that sounds, right? Breaking into a museum and taking a priceless diamond is the definition of harm.”

“It’s also the only way to stop Minyak,” Henry countered. “If we wait for him to make a move, it’ll be too late. We have the skills, the tools, and the people to pull this off.”

Ray groaned, setting his mug down. “Okay, say we entertain this crazy idea for a second. Who’s ‘we’? Who’s pulling off this heist?”

Henry grinned. “We are. The team. Each of us has a role to play.”

Charlotte sighed. “Alright, let’s hear it.”

Henry pointed to Schwoz. “You’re in charge of gadgets. We’ll need tools to get past the lasers and locks. You'll also be the eyes and ears of this entire operation.”

Schwoz clapped his hands together. “Ooooh, this is so exciting! I already have ideas—like a laser-cutting candy cane and grappling hook ornaments!”

Henry grinned. “Perfect. Charlotte, you’ll be in charge of hacking into the museum’s security system. You’re the only one I trust to disable the alarms without setting them off.”

Charlotte sighed but nodded. “Fine. But if this goes sideways, I’m pinning it on you.”

“Fair,” Henry said. He turned to Jasper. “You’ll be our distraction.”

Jasper’s face lit up. “Finally, my time to shine! Do I get to wear a costume? Maybe a tuxedo? Ooh, what about—”

“Just… do whatever you do,” Henry interrupted. “Be loud, be weird, and keep the guards busy.”

“Got it!” Jasper saluted, looking way too enthusiastic.

Henry hesitated, then turned to Piper, who had entered just moments ago, holding her own cup of Captain Man's famous hot cocoa. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Piper, we’ll need you to blend in with the gala crowd,” Henry said. “You can distract anyone who gets suspicious while we’re working. You'll also double as our getaway driver.”

“Obviously,” Piper said, rolling her eyes. “Like I’d let you pull this off without me.”

Finally, Henry looked at Ray. “And you’re the muscle. If we run into any problems, we’ll need you to keep Minyak—or anyone else—from getting in our way.”

Ray groaned. “Great. I get to do all the heavy lifting while you guys have all the fun.”

“This isn’t fun,” Henry said firmly. “It’s a mission. And if we don’t pull it off, Minyak wins.”

The room fell silent as everyone processed what he’d said. Then Ray sighed, pushing himself to his feet. “Fine. But if this goes south, I’m blaming you. And I want my name cleared in every single news story.”

Henry grinned. He took a deep breath as he scanned the group. “Alright. That’s the team. Now we just need a plan.”

Ray folded his arms. “This better be good, kid. If we mess this up, we’re going to jail.”

“Relax,” Henry said, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “When have we ever messed up a completely insane, borderline illegal plan?”

Charlotte groaned. “Oh, I don’t know. How about every time?”

“Details,” Henry said, waving her off. “Let’s focus. We’ve got a diamond to steal.”

Chapter Text

The Swellview Museum gleamed in the soft glow of holiday lights, its grand windows offering a glimpse of the lavish gala inside. Guests in tuxedos and glittering gowns sipped champagne as the sound of a string quartet filled the air.

Outside, in the van parked down a side street, Schwoz monitored the action on his array of screens. Each feed showed a different part of the museum, from the gala to the security corridors. He adjusted his headset, his eyes darting between the monitors.

“Alright, team,” Schwoz said, his voice calm but urgent. “It’s showtime. Everyone knows their roles, yes?”

Henry’s voice crackled through the comms. “We’re ready. Piper, what’s the status inside?”

Piper stood near the refreshment table, her glass of sparkling cider perfectly positioned to make her look like she belonged. She wore a sleek red dress and a confident smile, scanning the room casually.

“So far, so good,” she murmured into her earpiece. “Guests are mingling, guards are at their posts, and—oh no.”

“What?” Henry asked.

Piper rolled her eyes as she spotted Jasper. He was already in full distraction mode, standing on a chair and waving his arms to gather attention.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” Jasper called, holding a glass of sparkling cider like a microphone. “I’d like to propose a toast—to art, diamonds, and the invention of taco shells!”

Several nearby guests turned to stare. A couple of guards began to approach, clearly suspicious.

“Jasper,” Piper hissed through her mic, “tone it down!”

“Relax,” Jasper whispered back, grinning as he stumbled off the chair and knocked over a tray of hors d’oeuvres. “It’s all part of the distraction.”

“Well, it’s working,” Piper muttered, watching as the guards moved to help clean up the mess. “Henry, the guards near the main hall are distracted. You’re clear.”

Henry and Charlotte crept through the back hallways, their footsteps light as they followed Schwoz’s directions.

“Take the next left,” Schwoz said, his voice steady in their earpieces. “The guard in that hallway is heading toward the gala. You have a thirty-second window.”

“Got it,” Henry whispered.

They reached the main hall, where the North Star Diamond glittered under its glass case. The room was quiet, save for the hum of the security systems.

Charlotte crouched by the security panel near the wall. “Alright, give me a minute. I’m disabling the motion sensors and bypassing the laser grid.”

Henry watched as she worked, his heart pounding. “Schwoz, any sign of Minyak?”

“Not yet,” Schwoz replied. “But be careful. If he shows up, it’ll be fast.”

“Henry,” Charlotte said, standing up, “the alarms are down. You’re good to go.”

Henry nodded and pulled out Schwoz’s candy cane zipline gadget. Hooking it to a vent above the diamond, he climbed up and slid across, careful to avoid the pressure-sensitive floor.

He reached the glass case and pulled out a suction device. Carefully, he lifted the glass, reaching inside to grab the diamond.

“Got it,” Henry whispered, holding up the diamond.

Piper’s voice came through the comms, tense. “Guys, we’ve got a problem. Minyak just walked in, and he’s heading your way with his goons. I’m heading back to the van now. You’re on your own inside.”

Henry froze, gripping the diamond tightly.

“Schwoz?” Henry whispered.

“I see him,” Schwoz replied. “Henry, you need to move—now!”

Piper jumped into the driver’s seat, slamming the door shut behind her. “I’m in position,” she said into her mic. She then turned to Schwoz and Ray and said, “Let me know if anyone heads toward the exit.”

“I see Minyak moving toward the main hall,” Schwoz replied. 

Ray sighed. “Piper, get ready. This could get messy.”

Henry slid back across the zipline as Doctor Minyak and his henchmen stepped into the main hall. 

Minyak’s sinister grin stretched across his face. The North Star Diamond glittered in Henry’s hand as he froze, unsure of his next move.

“Kid Danger,” Minyak sneered, his British accent dripping with mockery. “How kind of you to do all the hard work for me. Now, be a good boy and hand over the diamond. Or else…”

Henry narrowed his eyes, clutching the diamond tightly. “Sorry, Minyak. No Christmas presents for villains this year.”

Minyak chuckled darkly, gesturing toward his henchmen. “Oh, I think you’ll find I’m quite persuasive. Boys, teach him some holiday manners.”

The henchmen advanced, one cracking his knuckles while the other pulled out a stun baton. Henry backed up, glancing toward Charlotte, who was hidden in the shadows, ready to bolt with him.

“Ray,” Henry whispered into his mic, “Plan B. Now.”

“Plan B?” Piper asked, revving the van's engine.

Ray sighed, unbuckling his seatbelt. “That’s me. Stay ready.”

He hopped out of the van and sprinted toward the museum.

The sound of heavy footsteps echoed through the hall as Captain Man burst through the doors, his voice booming.

“Minyak! You really thought you could pull this off?” Ray yelled, his hair fluttering dramatically as he charged into the room.

Minyak turned, his grin faltering. “Captain Man? What are you doing here?”

Ray stopped in the middle of the hall, planting his hands on his hips. “What I always do—saving the day and ruining your lame schemes.”

Minyak’s grin returned, but this time it was sharper. “How delightful. Boys, take care of him!”

The first henchman rushed forward, swinging his stun baton at Ray’s head. Captain Man ducked effortlessly, spinning around to deliver a powerful punch to the henchman’s gut. The man stumbled backward, clutching his stomach, but Ray didn’t stop.

“Really?” Ray said, grabbing the henchman by the collar and hoisting him off the ground. “A stun baton? Amateur move.”

The second henchman lunged at Ray from behind, but Ray sidestepped at the last second, causing the man to crash into his companion. Both henchmen sprawled to the floor in a heap.

Minyak groaned, pulling out a remote control from his pocket. “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.” He pressed a button, and a large metallic claw extended from his backpack, aiming straight for Ray.

The claw swung toward Ray’s head, its pincers snapping menacingly. Ray ducked just in time, grabbing a decorative shield off a nearby wall. He held it up as the claw slammed into it with a loud clang.

“Seriously, Minyak?” Ray said, shoving the claw aside. “A robot claw? Did you get that on sale at Villains ‘R Us?”

“It’s custom-made!” Minyak shouted, pressing another button to make the claw strike again.

Ray leapt backward, using the shield to deflect the claw’s attacks. “Nice try, but you’re not the first wannabe villain with a fancy gadget. And you won’t be the last I take down.”

Minyak growled in frustration, turning to his henchmen, who were struggling to get back on their feet. “Stop standing around and help me!”

The henchmen scrambled up, one grabbing a metal pipe from the floor while the other rushed at Ray with a makeshift spear made from a broken exhibit.

Ray grinned, tossing the shield aside. “Oh, you want to dance? Let’s dance.”

The first henchman swung the metal pipe, aiming for Ray’s ribs, but Ray caught it mid-swing, yanking it out of the man’s hands. He spun the pipe like a baton before tossing it across the room.

“Nice try,” Ray said, grabbing the henchman by the arm and flipping him onto his back.

The second henchman lunged with the makeshift spear, but Ray sidestepped again, grabbing the spear and snapping it over his knee.

“Didn’t your boss teach you to pick weapons that don’t break so easily?” Ray quipped, delivering a roundhouse kick that sent the man sprawling into a display case.

Minyak’s robotic claw struck again, this time wrapping around Ray’s arm and tightening its grip.

“Got you now, Captain Man!” Minyak cackled, pressing another button to electrify the claw. Sparks flew as Ray gritted his teeth, trying to pull free.

“Really?” Ray said, his voice strained. “You do know I’m indestructible, right?”

Minyak’s grin faltered. “I might have overlooked that fact.”

Ray smirked, grabbing the claw with his free hand. “Well, let me show you what happens when you mess with Swellview’s finest.”

With a grunt of effort, Ray yanked the claw clean off its hinges, sparks flying as he tossed it across the room. Minyak stumbled backward, his confidence crumbling.

“This isn’t over!” Minyak shouted, scrambling for the door.

“Oh, it’s over,” Ray said, grabbing a nearby rope from one of the exhibits. In a flash, he lassoed Minyak around the waist, pulling him back.

Minyak flailed as Ray tied the rope around him, securing him to a nearby pillar. “You’re going to regret this, Captain Man!”

Ray dusted off his hands. “Not as much as you’re going to regret messing with me.”

Henry and Charlotte used the chaos to slip out of the hall, sprinting toward the exit.

“Ray, we’re out!” Henry said into his mic. “Time to go!”

Ray nodded, glancing at the tied-up Minyak and his dazed henchmen. “Looks like I’m done here.”

As he turned to leave, Minyak shouted after him. “You won’t get away with this, Captain Man! I’ll be back!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ray called over his shoulder. “And I’ll be here, ready to beat you again. Merry Christmas!”

With that, he sprinted out of the hall, meeting Henry and Charlotte just as they reached the exit.

Piper revved the van’s engine as Henry, Charlotte, and Ray burst out of the museum. She opened the side door, and they all scrambled in.

“Go, go, go!” Henry shouted.

Piper slammed her foot on the gas, and the van lurched forward, its tires skidding slightly on the icy street. Henry, Charlotte, and Ray barely had time to shut the door before she swerved around a corner, the sound of Minyak’s henchmen shouting behind them.

“Not bad for someone with an accidental license, huh?” Piper said with a smirk, gripping the wheel like a racecar driver.

Ray clutched the edge of his seat. “License or not, you’re going to kill us all!”

“Oh, relax,” Piper shot back, taking another sharp turn that sent Charlotte sliding across the bench seat. “I’m in total control.”

“If this is ‘total control,’” Charlotte said, bracing herself against the wall of the van, “remind me never to get in a car with you again.”

Henry held the diamond tightly in his hands, trying to keep it steady. “Pipes, can you please not hit every pothole in Swellview?”

“Potholes build character!” Piper shouted over the sound of the engine.

Schwoz, who seemed to be enjoying the ride, spoke up. “Piper, the henchmen have commandeered a black SUV. They are two blocks behind us!”

Ray glanced out the back window, his eyes widening as the black SUV came into view, its headlights bouncing over the snowy street. “They’re gaining on us!”

“Not for long,” Piper said, her smirk widening. She stomped on the gas, and the van shot forward, weaving through traffic like a seasoned stunt driver.

Charlotte gripped the seatbelt tightly. “Do you even know what the speed limit is?”

“Speed limits are just suggestions,” Piper replied breezily.

Jasper’s face twisted in panic as the van narrowly avoided a parked car. “I think that one was more of a rule!”

Piper glanced in the rearview mirror, her expression sharp. The black SUV was closing the gap, its engine roaring as it sped through an intersection.

“Hang on,” Piper said, her voice suddenly serious.

“What are you doing?” Ray asked, his knuckles white as he gripped the edge of his seat.

“Something awesome,” Piper replied.

She yanked the wheel hard to the left, sending the van sliding into an alleyway so narrow that the side mirrors barely cleared the walls. The tires squealed against the icy pavement, but the van straightened out just as they emerged onto another street.

“Whoa!” Henry exclaimed, gripping the diamond tightly. “I can’t believe that actually worked!”

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” Charlotte muttered.

Behind them, the SUV swerved into the alley, but its larger frame didn’t fare as well. A loud scraping noise echoed as the sides of the vehicle collided with the walls, slowing it down just enough to give the van some breathing room.

Schwoz grinned, clearly having fun. “Piper, the next intersection has a construction zone. You’ll need to go left!”

“Got it,” Piper said, her focus unshaken.

But as they approached the intersection, a delivery truck pulled out in front of them, blocking the left turn entirely.

“Oh, come on!” Piper yelled, slamming the brakes.

“What now?” Charlotte asked, her voice rising in panic.

Piper didn’t hesitate. She twisted the wheel sharply to the right, heading straight toward a barricade marked with orange cones and a sign that read, “ROAD CLOSED.”

“Piper, no!” Ray shouted.

“Piper, yes!” Piper shot back.

The van crashed through the barricade, sending cones flying in every direction. They bounced along an unfinished stretch of road, the van’s shocks groaning under the impact of the uneven terrain.

“This is fine,” Piper said, her voice calm despite the chaos. “We’re fine. Everything’s fine.”

Ray looked like he was about to pass out. “Everything is not fine!”

“Pipes,” Henry called out, holding onto the back of her seat, “please tell me you have an actual plan!”

“I do!” Piper said, grinning as the van reached the end of the construction site. “It’s called ‘keep going until we lose them!’”

Behind them, the SUV struggled to navigate the bumpy road, its headlights flickering as it hit a particularly large pothole.

“Good news! The SUV has fallen behind! We’re almost in the clear!” Schwoz announced happily.

“Almost?” Jasper said nervously. “What’s the bad news?”

“There’s a fruit stand at the next corner!” Schwoz replied.

Piper’s grin widened. “Perfect.”

“Perfect?” Ray shouted.

The van barreled through the intersection, narrowly avoiding a stand full of watermelons. A cascade of fruit rolled onto the street behind them, creating a chaotic obstacle course for the SUV. The henchmen swerved wildly, their vehicle skidding to a halt as a watermelon splattered against their windshield.

Piper let out a triumphant laugh. “See? I told you I had this under control!”

Ray slumped back into his seat, his face pale. “Remind me to never let you drive again.”

“Sure thing, Ray,” Piper said, smirking. “Right after you admit I’m awesome.”

Henry finally relaxed, the diamond still clutched in his hands. “I don’t know what’s scarier—Minyak’s henchmen or Piper’s driving.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Piper replied.

Charlotte sighed, her voice weary but impressed. “Okay, fine. You got us out of there. I’ll give you that.”

“Thank you!” Piper said, her grin widening as she navigated the van toward safety.

The van pulled up behind Junk N’ Stuff, its engine sputtering as Piper finally brought it to a halt. The team spilled out, their expressions ranging from relief to mild nausea. Piper, however, stepped out with a spring in her step, looking immensely proud of herself.

“You’re welcome,” Piper said, tossing the keys onto the workbench as the team entered the Man Cave.

“You’re welcome for what?” Ray shot back, slumping into the couch. “For the whiplash? For the existential crisis I just had in the backseat?”

“Ray,” Piper said sweetly, leaning against the console, “if I hadn’t been driving, you’d still be wrestling with Minyak in the main hall right now. So maybe a little gratitude?”

“Gratitude?” Ray scoffed. “How about therapy bills?”

“Guys,” Henry interrupted, holding up the North Star Diamond. “Can we save the bickering? We just pulled off the craziest mission we’ve ever done, and we’re all alive. Let’s call that a win.”

Charlotte plopped onto a nearby stool, exhausted but smiling. “I hate to admit it, but he’s right. We stole a diamond to keep it safe. That’s not exactly a sentence I ever thought I’d say.”

Henry carefully placed the diamond into a reinforced case Schwoz had prepared. The case hissed as it sealed, locking the gem inside with layers of protective mechanisms.

“Schwoz, this thing is secure, right?” Henry asked.

“Of course!” Schwoz replied, wiping his hands on a rag. “The case has triple-layered titanium alloy, heat sensors, and an alarm that could wake the dead. It’s safer here than anywhere else.”

As the group finally began to relax, a familiar jingle played from one of the many screens on the central console of the Man Cave.

“Oh no,” Charlotte groaned, covering her face. “Not them.”

Henry grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. The screen displayed none other than Mary Gaperman and Trent Overunder, the infamous news duo of KLVY Swellview News. Mary’s expression was overly dramatic, while Trent looked like he was counting the seconds until retirement.

“This is KLVY Swellview News,” Mary began, her tone grave but slightly confused, “with breaking updates on the shocking theft of the North Star Diamond!”

Trent nodded, looking tired. “That’s right, Mary. The priceless gem was stolen tonight from the Swellview Museum Gala in what experts are already calling ‘the crime of the century.’”

“Crime of the century?” Ray muttered, sitting up. “Come on, it was barely two hours!”

Mary gasped dramatically. “The crime of the century, Trent? That’s like... a hundred years!”

Trent blinked, visibly restraining himself. “Yes, Mary. That’s what a century is.”

Mary continued, completely missing the sarcasm. “And to think, it happened at a gala. A gala! Aren’t those supposed to be safe?”

Trent sighed and turned back to the camera. “Authorities are baffled by how the security systems were bypassed, and—”

“Baffled?” Mary interrupted, leaning closer to Trent. “Do you think they used lasers? Or maybe one of those fancy spy pens that doubles as a grappling hook?”

Trent turned slowly to face her. “What... what are you talking about?”

“You know,” Mary said, gesturing wildly. “Like in the movies! With the masks and the... doot-doot-doot music.”

Trent pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, Mary. They’re baffled because the security was actually very good.”

The screen cut to grainy security footage showing the diamond’s empty glass case. In the background, a blurry image of Jasper could be seen waving his arms like a madman.

“Wait, is that—?” Piper squinted, leaning closer to the screen.

“Oh no,” Henry groaned, burying his face in his hands.

“Yes, Trent,” Mary continued, pointing to the footage. “While authorities haven’t identified the suspect, they do know he... uh... enjoys waving?”

“Enjoys waving?” Trent repeated, his tone flat. “Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“Well, look at him!” Mary said, gesturing at the screen. “He’s waving like he’s on a parade float!”

The screen froze on an image of Jasper standing on a chair, holding a glass of cider and mid-toast. His arms were raised dramatically, his face frozen in an expression of pure glee.

Jasper, who had just walked into the Man Cave holding a box of donuts, froze in place. “Wait… is that me?”

“No!” the group shouted in unison.

“Eyewitnesses also claim,” Mary added, lowering her voice for dramatic effect, “that the suspect shouted something about taco shells before knocking over a tray of hors d’oeuvres.”

“Oh, come on!” Jasper exclaimed, dropping the donuts on the table. “It wasn’t just about taco shells! I also said diamonds and art. They’re taking me out of context!”

Charlotte shook her head. “Jasper, that’s what you’re worried about?”

Trent’s monotone voice continued. “Authorities have no suspects at this time, but they are offering a generous reward for any information leading to the recovery of the diamond.”

“Generous reward?” Piper repeated, smirking as she turned to Henry. “Think we should turn ourselves in?”

“Absolutely not,” Henry said, narrowing his eyes.

Mary interjected with a chilling warning. “And officials are urging the public to stay vigilant, as dangerous criminal masterminds are clearly at play.”

“Dangerous criminal masterminds?” Ray scoffed. “They’re talking about us like we’re villains!”

“Relax,” Charlotte said, waving him off. “It’s not like anyone knows it was us.”

Mary continued. “And in unrelated news, the museum has received anonymous complaints about questionable driving in the area, including this vehicle, seen speeding away from the scene.”

The screen cut to a blurry image of the getaway van skidding through the construction zone. Piper’s driving was unmistakable.

Piper’s jaw dropped. “That is not unrelated!”

Henry groaned again. “We are so busted.”

Schwoz clapped his hands, turning the TV off. “Relax! The case is secure, and the authorities don’t know it was you. Let them chase ghosts while we keep the diamond safe!”

The team exchanged uneasy glances, but Henry finally nodded. “Schwoz is right. We’ve got the diamond, and Minyak didn’t win. That’s what matters.”

Ray slumped back into the couch with a groan. “I still think I deserve an award for what I just went through tonight.”

Piper smirked, grabbing a donut. “An award? For what? Being the world’s biggest drama queen?”

Charlotte stifled a laugh, and Henry raised his mug of cocoa with a grin.

“Merry Christmas, everyone.”