Archive of Our Own ^beta

Hm…old plans, intel…this should all be on my Lighthouse already. I’ll have to burn these later. Khun sets the notebook aside. The pile of junk growing in his Lighthouse has started to become quite the haphazard mess, so he decided today was as good of a day as any to clean it out. Several papers and notebooks are stacked in a discard-by-burning pile, other items are just in a discard pile, and there’s a few items in a keep pile. Most of them are small trinkets from Bam. The Irregular likes leaving little things for Khun in his Lighthouse.

He picks up another small notebook, expecting it to be another one to discard. It has a plain cover—just brown and spiral bound. He flips it open to a random page.

This…isn’t my handwriting. It’s a messy scrawl, hard to decipher at a first glance. But he’s seen it before somewhere…

He flips back to the beginning of the notebook. There’s a name written there. Bam’s Notebook.

Right. It’s been a while since he’s seen Bam’s handwriting. He knows Bam is capable of making it neat, but there’s no point if no one is going to read it but him. And it’s not like Wave Controllers write a lot. So Bam’s default style has always been a scribbly chicken scratch.

How did it end up in my Lighthouse? Oh well, he’ll give it back to Bam later.

…He probably shouldn’t look inside. But now that he’s thought that, his curiosity is piqued.

Surely, if it was meant to be secret, Bam would take better care of it, right? He wouldn’t just leave it in a Lighthouse randomly.

He’ll just take a quick look. If it turns out to be sensitive information, he’ll just return it to Bam without checking more. He flips the page.

Things I Want To Do

(Someday)

(Hopefully)

Khun frowns a little at the parentheses. It’s hard to do anything fun during a war. How long has this notebook been around?

1. Go to the beach with friends (floor tests don’t count)

2. Have a karaoke night with friends (Learn to sing?)

3. Go bowling with friends

A small smile tugs at his mouth. These are cute.

4. Gift exchange with friends

5. Board game night with friends

Under the first five, there’s a note.

I think these are things that people do with their friends? They sound fun.

Some of this might be possible to arrange. Admittedly, Khun hasn’t done some of these himself. They’re very…stereotypical friend things. Things you do when there isn’t a war hanging over your head and surprise ambushes to worry about. It makes sense that Bam would want to do them.

6. Solve a rubricks rubix rubik’s cube on my own

He could teach Bam to do that. It’s pretty straightforward.

7. Learn an instrument (piano? guitar?)

8. Learn how to draw (ask Hockney)

9. Learn to knit (I want to make a scarf for Khun. He always looks cold.)

That’s…surprising. He didn’t know Bam had been paying attention to him that much. The firefish can be a piece of shit sometimes—one moment he feels like he’s on fire, the next moment it’s like plunging into icy water. It’s…thoughtful of Bam to make something for him, even if Khun’s not quite sure it would really help.

He skims the next few. They’re all pretty normal things for a bucket list. Some of them, he makes a mental note to plan.

22. Cook together (Actually, I don’t think the kitchen would survive. Never mind.)

22. Go on a picnic

23. Go camping (I want to try a smore)

24. Go to a zoo (Petting zoo? I heard you can touch the animals there. I want to pet animals.)

25. Adopt a cat? (Cats are cute. They remind me of Khun.)

Khun narrows his eyes at the page. He’s not that cat-like…is he?

…Come to think of it, Bam has mentioned him twice in this list now. Is there anyone else mentioned by name? He flips through a few more pages. Oh, here’s one.

36. Teach Rak how to make banana bread (And other banana snacks).

That’s cute. Khun doesn’t know if the gator would be able to bake, given his claws, but the idea of it is amusing. Rak would definitely try his best if Bam was teaching.

37. Learn Spanish (But there’s a lot of different dyelets diealets dialects? I want to learn whatever Khun speaks.)

Another one about him. Bam thinks about me a lot, huh?

It’s a pleasing thought, as much as he tries to deny it. Having Bam’s attention on him and him only…

He shakes the thought away.

38. Go to a museum

That one’s crossed out. When did they…oh, right. A few floors ago, he and Bam had scouted out a museum together for a Floor Test that required them to pull off a heist. I’m surprised Bam counted that. The rest of the team didn’t come with us.

39. Go see a movie

Khun pauses. This one they did do as a team, though. Isu had pestered the entire team enough about some new action-fantasy movie that they all went to see it. It was an okay movie, in Khun’s opinion—nothing spectacular, but passable. The actual highlight was explaining how all the effects worked to Bam, who seemed endlessly fascinated with the stunts they pulled off, despite his own skills.

Still, it’s strange that this one isn’t crossed out. Maybe Bam just hasn’t gotten to it yet.

40. Go to a fancy restaurant

Has he not done that with FUG? Khun supposes it’s far different than going with friends, though.

41. Go on a boat ride (One of those small rowboats would be cute. Those swan-shaped ones would also be nice)

Hm. Those are usually things couples do, but Khun supposes it could be a fun friend activity anyway. Although he’s not sure if everyone would fit in a small boat. Those are really only meant for two to three people.

42. Go to a night market

43. Go ice skating

44. Go to a library

45. Have a spa day

46. Go a coffee shop

These seem…more generic? Honestly, Khun wouldn’t mind doing them. But there’s no way Bam hasn’t done some of these already. Khun has lost count of the number of times their team has done coffee runs.

47. Watch the sunrise or sunset

48. Just a quiet night in general (cuddling? I would like to cuddle)

49. Learn knots?

Khun rereads them a few times, confused. These are…sweet, in the same way the smallest things always end up being the things that matter most. But they aren’t typical bucket list things. Except for…learning knots? That seems a bit out of place—

He looks at the last item.

50. Khun Aguero Agnis

He stares. He flips back to the start of the notebook.

Things I Want To Do

50. Khun Aguero Agnis

Surely…surely Bam meant to finish that sentence, right? He wanted to do something with Khun? Khun’s name on its own makes no sense. He looks back through the items in the 40s. All of them could be date things. Well, except for 49, but that might just be a random addition. Could it be…Bam didn’t cross them out because he meant them as a date?

That doesn't make sense. Except Khun can’t come up with any other explanation. He can feel his face heat up. Bam wants to…with me?

As if the universe is mocking him right at that moment, there’s a knock on the door, followed by Bam’s soft voice. “Khun?”

Think of the devil and he shall appear. “Y-yes?”

“Can I come in? I think I left something in your Lighthouse.”

“Uh—” On instinct, Khun throws the notebook back into the cube. “Yeah, come in.”

The door opens. Bam smiles upon seeing him, before eyeing the mess around him. “Did I interrupt something?”

“N-no. I was just doing some Lighthouse cleaning.” He tries and fails to make eye contact. “It was getting cluttered inside, so I wanted to throw things out.”

“Ah.” Bam rummages through the Lighthouse, immediately pulling out the notebook. “Oh, here it is! I was wondering where it went.”

“What is it?” Khun asks. Maybe talking to Bam about it would help clear things up. Act normal.

“Oh, it’s a…I think Isu called it a bucket list? It’s just like…things I wanted to do at some point,” Bam smiles, a little sheepishly. “I know it’s difficult with a war hanging over our heads, but it’s like…a nice thing to think about.”

“I guess so,” Khun acknowledges. “Uh—depending on what they are, we might be able to do some of them.”

“Really?!” Bam beams. “I mean, I guess there are some like seeing a movie that’s probably not impossible…”

“Haven’t we done that?” Khun asks. “Isu wanted to see that action-fantasy one a while back?”

“Oh, true,” Bam hums. “I guess that would rule out the coffee shop too, though…”

“Yeah, we’ve done several coffee runs,” Khun says.

“Yeah…” Bam eyes him, looking a little suspicious. Does he suspect anything? “Hey, Khun. Do you prefer seeing sunrises or sunsets?”

“Uhh…I don’t think I really have a preference?” He’s been awake through enough of both. “But I guess if you wanted to—” Wait. He’s not supposed to know what’s on that list.

“If I wanted to…?” Bam trails off questioningly.

“If—you wanted to see one over the other,” Khun tries to finish. “We could arrange that.”

“Hm.” Bam snaps the book closed. “Are you okay, Khun? You look really nervous.”

“I do?” He thought his poker face was pretty good.

“You’re very good at acting calm,” Bam says, lips quirked up in a smile. “But I know you, Khun. And also, this notebook wouldn’t have been so easy to grab if it wasn’t just tossed into the Lighthouse.” He places the notebook down. “Did you read it?”

“Um—” There’s no way out of this, is there? But before Khun can confess, Bam is suddenly right in front of him. His back hits his own Lighthouse.

“Tell me,” Bam murmurs. “Are you nervous because you read it?”

“That—that last point,” Khun finally admits. “Does it—”

Does it mean what I think it meant? Is Bam really…into me?

“What do you think it meant?” Bam asks. His lips are curled in a smile that Khun now recognizes as teasing.

“You—um—” He can’t say it. “You wanted to do…it…with me?”

He gets a small laugh in response and shivers as Bam’s breath tickles his neck. “That’s one way to put it. I do like you very much, Khun.” He tosses the notebook back into Khun’s Lighthouse. “So…may I?”

Not trusting himself to speak, Khun nods. Bam pulls back a little. “Can I have a verbal confirmation?”

Khun swallows. “Yes,” he rasps. “You may.”

He lets Bam push him down on the bed. Bam hovers over him for a moment, and Khun understands the unspoken question. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

Bam smiles at him, fond. “Neither have I.”

It takes them a moment to figure out how to slot their lips together, but kissing Bam is like everything and nothing he’s ever imagined. When they break apart, Bam moves down. He pulls Khun’s pants off, then his boxers, and Khun shivers at the cold air. Bam lets out a small huff of amusement. “I really should learn to knit you that scarf.”

“I—I don’t think having a scarf would change anything about…this,” Khun mumbles.

“True. I’d need to learn knots first,” Bam grins, and Khun flushes as his brain makes the connection. Bam adds, “Only if you’re okay with it, of course.”

“I might be…amenable to it—” Khun admits, before squeaking as Bam nudges his legs open. “B-Bam!”

“Mm?” Bam’s hand closes around his dick, and Khun gasps, legs twitching. Bam strokes him gently, keeping him on the edge as he reaches into his own Pocket and pulls out a bottle of lube. Before Khun can even question why Bam carries that around with him, slick fingers are probing at his entrance. Khun squeezes his eyes shut as one finger breaches into him. “Does it hurt?”

It’s a strange sensation, but not painful. Khun shakes his head. “Just…weird,” he gets out. “You can keep going.”

Another finger slides in, and he squirms in place. Bam holds him in place with a hand on his stomach, and a shudder of heat runs through Khun at the action. He doesn’t know if it’s normal to like being held down, but he likes it when Bam does it, at least. And Bam seems to notice, because he smirks, putting a little more force into it. “You like that?”

Khun whimpers. But he nods.

He drifts for a moment, as Bam takes his time opening him. Despite Bam’s initial pace, he’s surprisingly methodical about fingering someone, and Khun would probably find it amusing if it wasn’t him that Bam was fingering. As it is, he shudders with every thrust of Bam’s fingers, and he thinks he might be whining, some high-pitched noise in his ears. Just as he’s getting used to the feeling, Bam’s fingers brush something inside of him, and it feels like sparks flying up his spine, hips jerking in place. “Bam!”

The Irregular does it again, and Khun feels his orgasm start to crest, his toes curling—

And suddenly there’s a hand squeezing his dick, staving it off. “Hnn…Bam!”

“Sorry.” Bam doesn’t sound sorry. “Just a little longer, okay?”

At some point, his shirt gets taken off, and then they’re both completely naked, with Khun’s back against Bam’s chest, and suddenly something much thicker is rubbing at his hole. “Tell me if it hurts.”

The stretch is overwhelming, but each twitch sends shivers of pleasure through him. Khun’s mouth gapes open as he’s filled inch by inch. When Bam bottoms out, he can feel the tip of his dick just barely rubbing against that sensitive spot in him.

Then Bam slowly drags out and thrusts back in, hard. Khun gasps as he’s jolted forward. His hands grasp at the bedsheets, clenching and unclenching. Then Bam does it again, and again, and Khun can feel himself going limp, only held up by Bam’s arm. He feels that wave crest again, and a pointed thrust sends him over.

For a moment, it feels like he’s floating. The world goes fuzzy around him, and there’s a ringing in his ears. Distantly, he can feel Bam tense up behind him, and something warm fills him. When comes back down from his high, he’s laying on top of Bam, breathing hard.

“…You’re right,” Bam says, after a moment of silence. “We can do some of the things on my bucket list.”

Khun laughs.