Chapter Text
„I wanna go alone first“
That was the last sentence Jake had said before he was flooded with argues and confused expressions. He just wanted to see Riki alone, make sure he can talk to him without anyone stepping in or acting like Jake couldn’t handle it.
„Are you sure? He probably won’t even open the door for you.“
Heeseung was right, he probably won’t but it’s worth a try, he really misses the younger. Riki‘s words kept him awake at night, so did his random disappearing. Was Riki just acting up? Maybe victimising himself, who knows. But he worries and no matter how big of an asshole Riki is gonna be to him, he needs to check up on him.
„Yeah but i‘ll need to try, just trust me, ok?“
After some more arguments they finally agreed. Jake was gonna go over to Riki‘s right after school.
—
While on his way, Jake feels weird. He‘s unsure if it‘s really a good idea but something must be off. Though Riki‘s mother would have told them if Riki did something bad, she has always loved Jake and his Friends like her own sons. After a while he stopped in front of Riki‘s house, walking up to the door and ringing it.
silence.
Jake waited some more time before he wanted to leave as the door suddenly opened. But it‘s not Riki, it‘s his Mom. She was surprised but happy to see Jake, immediately inviting him inside.
„Jake, it’s so nice to see you, what are you doing here?“
Jake walked into the house and looked at her. Did she know about the argument? Did she even know Riki hasn’t been talking to him anymore?
„I‘m here to see Riki… is he home? I need to talk to him.“
Riki‘s mother sighed at Jake’s words, as if she did know he was eventually gonna come over.
„Yes but i‘m not sure if you‘ll get to see him. I haven’t seen him the last two weeks now. He’s always just locked into his damn room and won’t say anything… I don’t even know if he eats the food I make him.“
Jake is stunned, Riki hasn’t even faced his Mom? Perhaps it was good he came over. He‘ll do anything to get into Riki‘s room right now.
„Oh… can I- can I at least try to talk to him?“
Riki‘s Mother smiles slightly, grateful at Jake’s help.
„Yes, please but I will leave you alone. I have to go on a shopping trip so I‘ll be gone for some time.“
„Okay then, have fun.“
“I will.“
With those words his Mother chuckles and leaves the House, shooting a last grateful glance at Jake before he walks upstairs and towards Riki‘s room. He just stands there, uncertain if he should knock or just try to enter. Finally, he knocks.
„Riki, can you open the door for me?
nothing.
„It’s Jake“
For a second Jake thought he had heard some shuffling inside of Riki‘s room but it turned quiet again.
„I know you probably don’t wanna talk to me… I know I- I know that I disgust you. I‘m sorry that I‘ve disappointed you but I‘m worried about you. All of us are, please open the door for me.“
Jake doesn’t know why he is the one apologising, he hasn’t done anything wrong, he couldn’t choose who he liked. Normally Jake would tell anyone to fuck off, even if it was Sunghoon acting like this with him, he wouldn’t have apologised, why would he. It was different when it came to Riki though… his handsome, caring Riki. Whenever Jake felt Riki got mad or annoyed at him, he apologised. Jake always apologised. He didn’t even care that it might hurt his Pride cause it never did. He would do anything for Riki. As Jake was lost in thoughts, he didn’t realise the door opened. As he looked up, Riki stood in front of him and… jeez. Riki looked fucking ass, like he hasn’t slept or showered at all. His room was full of Plates, empty bottles, many joints and cigarettes. Riki doesn’t say anything, he just stares at Jake, his eyes still slightly filled with disgust and anger.
„What the fuck happened to you.“
Jake didn’t manage to get anything else out. He’s stunned. His normally cocky, overconfident Best Friend was in a state he never thought he‘d see him in.
„What do you want.“
Riki‘s voice was low, quiet and scary. Jake had to improvise if he wanted to keep this going without Riki harming him in any way cause it looks like the younger wouldn’t like doing anything more than that.
„I‘m worried about you, we are. I wanna talk things out. Can I come in…?“
Riki thinks before slowly pushing the door fully open, he slumps back against his Bed as Jake enters slowly. Riki’s room looks worse from the inside. His room always was a mess but this is another level. It stinks of Smoke, weed and food. The blinds are closed and Riki certainly didn’t open the window lately. Jake just stands there awkwardly while Riki stared up at him. Riki‘s stare was intimidating, crazed almost but also there was tiredness, sadness even. Riki laid back against the Headboard as Jake looked around the room.
„Riki… did you smoke all this the time we didn’t see you? Your mom said you didn’t leave your room too. What the fuck is going on with you.“
Riki huffs slightly at Jake’s questions, not caring one bit. He doesn’t respond to Jake, still watching him. Jake closes the door and starts walking around Riki’s room. He stops as he picks up a notebook that laid on the bedside table. As Jake opened the Notebook, Riki tried to snatch it from Jake. Fortunately Jake dodged Riki‘s try to take the Notebook. It was filled with Song lyrics, probably written by Riki. What was the most shocking, is that it weren’t just any lyric, but love lyric. Riki wrote love songs. As Jake was stunned, Riki managed to take the Notebook, now looking furious.
„Don’t go through my fucking stuff.“
Riki’s voice was demanding, angry. Jake looked at Riki, he knows he shouldn’t push the topic but he can’t do otherwise.
„How come you never told us you write? Especially love songs.“
Jake grins slightly before Riki grabs his Jake by his collar.
„You think this is funny, huh? Fucking look at me. You fucking faggot this is all your fault, You’ll pay for this.“
There it was again, the reminder of his Best Friends hatred. Jake knew he had fucked up, not sure how this is gonna end now, but certainly not well. Jake‘s gaze flicks down slightly, as it does so, he sees a tissue peeking out of Riki’s bedside table drawer. It wasn’t a normal tissue though, he could swear there was blood on it, maybe Riki just had nosebleeds. He looked back up at his Friend that still held his collar tightly, Jake wants to take Riki’s hands off him and grabs Riki’s arms. The younger‘s expression slightly turns to the one of pain and Jake feels confused. Realisation comes over him before he pushes Riki off him and opens the drawer. It was filled with bloody tissues, soaked in dried and fresh blood. Riki’s cold glare turned to the one of shock and then anger again.
„Show me your goddamn arm, right fucking now.“
Jake wasn’t intimidated by Riki‘s glare anymore. He was angry and especially, worried. He tried to grab the younger’s arm but he dodged it. Riki grabbed Jake’s collar again though, making the older stunned again.
„I said, don’t go through my fucking stuff.“
„Riki, show me your fucking arm.“
Jake now also grabs Riki’s collar. He’s worried about the younger, his once sweet and comforting Riki. Jake could’ve never been prepared for what comes next, his cheek and jaw hurt, Riki had punched him. Before Jake could even think, there was a second punch, right into his stomach. Jake groaned and held his stomach as Riki pushed him onto his Bed, then standing over Jake.
„First I find out you mess around with some Gay fucking Guy in Sunghoon’s bathroom, then you dare come here and go through my stuff?“
„Fuck Riki I-”
Riki wouldn’t let Jake speak and held him down onto the Bed by the shoulders.
„Everything about you should fucking disgust me, perhaps it does but fuck. I can’t even stroke my fucking cock without thinking of cumming all over your pretty face. You know… you look so fuckable with that red bruise on your face, it’s beautiful, really“
Jake is shocked, his mind blank. Did his Homophobic Best Friend and long time Crush just say he jerks off to him? Riki grabs Jake’s head and it makes the older let out a groan.
„Tell me, Jakey. How many Guys did you let to fuck that pretty ass of yours.“
„Riki w-what…“
Riki punches him again.
„T-three… it was three“
Riki scoffs and lets Jake’s hair go.
„You had three cocks up your ass while you knew I hate faggots? Oh jakey, poor, dumb fucking Puppy.“
Jake’s lip was bleeding on cause of Riki‘s punches. Suddenly, Riki kissed him. Jake immediately relaxed into the kiss before Riki pulled back, scoffing.
„And then they say Faggots wouldn’t take any man that gives them a Chance.“
Jake gulps and Riki runs his fingers over Jake’s bloody lip.
„I wasn’t lying though, you look pretty like that. Bruised and bleeding… all done by my fist. Almost romantic, isn’t it.“
Jake didn’t reply, instead, Riki pulled off his Sweater. Jake gasps as he sees open wounds all over the youngers arm. Some are almost healed but most are open, bloody. Around the wounds there was a lot of dried blood that Riki hasn’t wiped away after he had done this to himself.
„It’s admirable, almost exciting, how the body makes it grow back together, how it closes the wounds. Makes me wanna cut it open again, makes me wanna see the blood drip out of the wounds again. You know?“
Jake stares at Riki in horror, was the younger for real right now? Maybe he was insane or he had some kind of weird ass kink. Jake has read that before, People that had some kind of blood kink, Riki might be one of them. Riki moved closer to Jake again before he put his hand on Jake’s throat.
„You would look so good with wounds and bruises, bleeding and begging.“
Jake gasps for air as Riki tightens his grip on Jake’s throat.
„Riki what the fuck“
Riki punches Jake again and presses him against the headboard as he gets closer to Jake.
„You disgust me but at the same time you amaze me. Sunghoon once told me you’re like a Dog when it comes to me, I didn’t think much of it back then but… You’re definitely a fucking Dog. I bet you’d even let me cut you up and fuck you till you forget your own name.“
„Y-You wanna fuck me?“
Jake only managed to choke out a few words before Riki forcefully pulled Jake‘s sweater off.
„No, I will.“