Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“You’re not even upset!”

Adam winces and holds the phone slightly away from his ear. In fairness, Alice is probably right. But on principal he’s going to argue. “That’s not true! And besides, how would you know since you’ve decided to dump me by phone?”

Alice makes a frustrated noise down the phone. “I wouldn’t have had to do this if you weren’t so unavailable! Physically and emotionally! I’ve been trying to make plans to see you for weeks now! It’s not my fault you’re never around. We could have talked about this, but instead you’re never free, you never want to see me.”

This, Adam concedes, is also sort of true. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see Alice, she’s great. It’s just that he prefers his own space and he’s had a feeling for a while now that they are both looking for different things. He’s not happy about being dumped, but he’s not exactly unhappy either.

“You’ve not got anything to say? You don’t want to talk about this at all?” Alice continues.

Adam runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “Look, if this is what you want I obviously respect your decision.”

Alice makes the frustrated noise again. “God, Adam! You’re such a prick!”

She doesn’t give him the opportunity to argue back against that one, but he probably wouldn’t have bothered anyway. There’s a fairly long list of people who would agree with her. He drops the phone onto the bed beside him and leans back with a groan. He’s still not upset, but no one likes being dumped, do they.

He was about to head out to the gym when Alice called him, so he begrudgingly gets up and continues getting changed. He’s just pulled his top on over his head when his phone beeps. He glances at it, fairly sure it’s going to be a message from Alice, continuing her justified evisceration of his many flaws. But it’s actually a reminder about a holiday. A holiday he was supposed to be going on with Alice.

Well, that’s definitely not happening now. He’s about to just delete the email when he pauses. He’s paid for half of it. No reason why he couldn’t still go. He hadn’t been that keen on the idea of a cabin in the middle of the forest five days before Christmas, but a few days with a hot tub and a day at a spa actually doesn’t sound as awful on his own. Plus, he’s already booked the time off work.

—

Nat hums sympathetically as Alice relays the story of her break up with Adam. “Such a bastard. You’re definitely better off without him.” She glances at the calendar as she walks through to her kitchen. “Weren’t you guys supposed to be going on holiday soon?”

“Yeah, on Saturday. I guess I should try and cancel it.”

“Why don’t you still go? A break might do you good.”

“I don’t want to go anymore. I don’t want to be alone, so I’m going home for Christmas a few days early instead. I don’t suppose you want the booking? Adam definitely won’t go. He was never that keen in the first place. It was always such hard work to get him to do bloody anything!” Alice sniffs down the phone.

Nat looks at the calendar again. “I’ve already got plans for the week before Christmas.” She looks at the photos on the wall next to the calendar and pauses when she sees the one of her and her childhood best friend Fergus last Christmas. “But if you’re really not going to go, I might actually know someone who could do with a few days away.”

“As long as someone enjoys it, I suppose.” Alice replies, glumly. “I’ll send you over the details so you can pass them on.”

—

Fergus is glad that, despite his initial reluctance, he had taken up Nat’s offer of some time away. He’s had such a shit time these last few months that maybe some time alone, with a bit of relaxation thrown in, is just what he needs. He’s been dreading Christmas, so it’s nice to have something to focus on that isn’t the holidays. Although if he hadn’t been devoid of Christmas cheer already, travelling out of London five days before Christmas would have certainly done it.

The property seems like it’s in the middle of nowhere, and he’s hoping there’s no signal and no wi-fi. He’s booked a taxi to get there from the station, and aside from heading out to the spa for one day, his plan is to put the wood burner on and not leave the comfort of the sofa for four days.

He turns up his music to drown out the child screaming further down the carriage and closes his eyes.

—

Not for the first time that afternoon, Adam was wishing that he’d just driven to the cabin. Trains out of London are a nightmare at the best of times, and Christmas is about as bad as it gets. Not to mention that he’d been late finishing work, so he was also contending with rush hour. It’s a good job he is going on his own, because he’s fairly sure he’d have been in the midst of a row with Alice about his timekeeping and his priorities right about now.

He could have checked in at 4pm, but it’s already 6.30pm by the time his train gets in, and then it’s another 20 minutes in a taxi to the cabin. By the time the taxi is pulling away from the cabin, he’s looking forward to dropping his bag in the bedroom and getting straight in the hot tub with a beer.

He finds the code for the front door and lets himself in.

“Hi, can I help you?”

Adam doesn’t jump, he’s just not expecting anyone else to be here. A man is sitting on the sofa, book in hand and staring at Adam like he’s the intruder.

“I’m checking in. Are you the owner?” Adam drops his bag on the floor.

“No. I’m Fergus. I’ve just checked in.” The man stands up from the sofa, holding his book like it could double up as a defensive weapon. “Wait, you’re not Adam are you?”

Adam immediately bristles at the tone. “So what if I am? This is my holiday rental, who are you and what are you doing here?”

The man doesn’t answer any of Adam’s questions. Instead he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Nat told me you weren’t going to be here.”

The name Nat is vaguely familiar to Adam. He has a sinking feeling Alice has a friend called Nat, and he’s already piecing together what might have happened. Fucking hell.

Fergus also appears to have put two and two together. “Alice must have offered it to Nat, thinking you wouldn’t go. And then she offered it to me.”

Adam just crosses his arms. “Well, thanks for that Sherlock. But I am here, so you can’t stay.”

Fergus frowns. “Hang on, that’s hardly fair!”

Adam bristles again. “I paid for half! This is my holiday. I’ve just been dumped, so I deserve some time away.”

“Well I paid for the other half!” Fergus crosses his fingers behind his back. Technically Nat had paid and had told him not to worry about it, but he was going to pay her back. “And I’ve-” Fergus stops himself. “I’ve had a really shit time recently, so I deserve a holiday too.”

Adam narrows his eyes at Fergus. “I’m not leaving.”

Fergus narrows his eyes back at Adam. “Well, neither am I.”

They glare at each other for a few moments before Adam huffs and turns away. “There’s only one bedroom! We physically can’t both stay here.”

“All the more reason for you to leave then.” Fergus smiles at Adam, smugly.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re an annoying prick?”

“Probably nearly as many times as you’ve been told.” Fergus retorts. “Look, I’m not leaving. No matter what you say. If you really want to stay too, you’ll have to take the sofa.”

Adam's eyes follow Fergus’s gesture to a sofa that is barely big enough to seat a grown man, let alone have one sleep on it. “I think you’ll find that you have to take the sofa.”

Fergus can see this going on for the rest of the holiday. “Rock, paper, scissors?”

Adam glares again but after a few moments he nods. “You’re on. Best of three?”

They count to three. “Rock beats scissors!” Fergus smirks at Adam.

Adam glares at Fergus. If he wasn’t such a prick, Adam would probably find Fergus quite attractive, which annoys him even more. “I know the fucking rules. Round two!”

They count to three again. Scissors beats paper. Adam glares at his own hand. Fuck. “Best of five?” He tries.

Fergus shakes his head. “No way. You could probably still get the train home if you left now.”

Adam had been vaguely considering leaving if he lost the bed, but now he’s definitely doubling down. If he can’t be here on his own, he’s definitely going to make sure this guy doesn’t have a good time either.

“I think you’ll find you’re sitting on my bed. So piss off.”

Fergus just laughs, the joy of winning outweighing his annoyance at having to move. “Fine. I’ll read in my bedroom instead.” He says, as he grabs his book and makes his way over to the bedroom.

Prick.

—

Somehow, despite this being a one bedroom, one bathroom Airbnb, they don’t actually cross paths again that evening. Adam waits until Fergus has gone to bed before using the bathroom and then he settles in for one of the most uncomfortable nights he’s ever had.

Chapter Text

Adam wakes at just before 8am and curses his body clock. It’s better than his usual 5.30am wake up time but he had been hoping for more of a lay in during his holiday. And whilst he’s at it he curses this ridiculous sofa too. It’s not even close to being big enough for a grown man to sleep on, and the blanket that he was using had done little to keep the chill away once the fire had burnt out.

But there’s no way he’s going to let Fergus know how crap sleeping on the sofa was, lest he feel like he’s won.

Adam can’t hear Fergus moving around, so he assumes he’s still asleep. Now he’s awake, there’s not much chance of him getting back to sleep. And even if there was, he doesn’t really want to spend any longer on this sofa than he needs to. When he stands up his back clicks painfully as he stretches, and he decides the hot tub would probably be a good idea today. He quickly flicks through the instructions and then wanders outside to switch it on. The water is barely lukewarm yet, so after quietly listening at the bedroom door to check Fergus is definitely still asleep, he decides to risk going for his run and getting in when he gets back.

He gets changed in the bathroom and then steps outside. It’s cold but the sun is just rising through the trees, and as he follows the path from the cabin into the woods around them, he starts to relax slightly.

—

Any feeling of relaxation leaves him shortly after he gets back. He assumes, because the bedroom door is still closed, that Fergus is still in bed and so he gets his swimming shorts on and grabs a towel. As soon as he steps outside, he realises Fergus is definitely not still in bed.

"For fucks sake."

Fergus looks up at him over the top of his book, smirking. Adam takes back what he thought last night, there is definitely nothing attractive about this aggravating bloke whatsoever.

"I'd clearly put this on for me. Get out."

"You must be fucking joking. You weren't using it, so I got in. You can have your turn when I'm done."

Adam seethes, and is about to go back inside but something stops him. "No. Fuck that. I'm getting in. And if you don't like it, you'll just have to get out."

Fergus's smug grin turns into a frown. "Don't you dare!" He warns, but Adam is beyond reasoning with and climbs in.

Realistically there is more than enough room for two people, but now he's actually in the hot tub, for all intents and purposes sharing a bath with an almost complete stranger, it feels horribly intimate.

They sit in seething silence for about ten minutes, avoiding eye contact and sitting so still the only movement in the water is from the pump. The silence is only broken by Fergus's phone ringing. The ringing goes on and on until eventually Adam snaps. “Aren’t you going to answer that?”

“No!” Fergus snaps back.

The phone continues ringing and Adam glances over at it where it sits on the little shelf next to Fergus’s coffee. Toby. Fergus sees Adam looking and snatches up the phone, although he still doesn’t answer it.

“Who’s Toby?” Adam finally asks when the phone stops ringing, unable to help himself. He wants to tell himself he’s asking to annoy Fergus, but he can tell that Fergus seems genuinely upset.

“I don’t think that it’s any of your business.” Fergus doesn’t look at him, but he does scrub a hand over his eyes.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have pried.” Fergus doesn’t respond, and Adam can’t help feeling a pit of guilt settle in his stomach. It’s no fun if the guy is actually upset. “Look, I’m sorry about being a dick about the hot tub. I’ll leave you to it so you can call him back in peace.”

Adam stands up and Fergus finally looks up at him. Fergus sighs and reaches out to stop Adam. “Don’t. It’s fine. There’s plenty of room in here, isn’t there.”

Adam hesitates for a second before the cold air against his wet skin convinces him to agree with Fergus and sit back down. They sit in silence again for several minutes. Adam has just relaxed and closed his eyes when Fergus speaks again.

“Toby is my ex.”

Adam opens his eyes and looks across at Fergus. He hadn’t expected Fergus to explain any further. “You don’t have to-”

Fergus cuts him off. “I know I don’t. But that’s why I won’t be calling him back, so you don’t need to get out.”

Adam’s eyes watch Fergus carefully for a few seconds. “He sounds like a bastard.”

“You don’t know that.” Fergus’s instinct is to rally against a stranger insulting Toby, but his heart isn’t really in it. “I could be the bastard. Why would you side with me?”

Adam just shrugs. “You’re here, he’s not.”

Fergus lets out a surprised laugh, the easily given loyalty washing over him and settling somewhere there’s been a gaping hole for too long. Surely it’s not that easy? That this stranger would just pick him, when all his and Toby’s friends had effectively sided with Toby, had told Fergus he was throwing it all away over nothing, that he should give Toby another chance. He looks at Adam, for any hint that this is just a joke he’s about to make Fergus the punchline of. “Well, it makes a refreshing change.”

Adam just nods. He’s not really sure why he’s siding with this man, who has done nothing but antagonise him since they first met. But then he’s not exactly been very nice to him either, and Adam likes to pride himself on being a good judge of character. Fergus seems like a total prick. But he doesn’t seem like he deserves to look the way this Toby evidently makes him feel.

“What’s the coffee like?” Adam doesn’t usually bother filling the silence, but this isn’t exactly a normal situation, so he’s fairly sure he can bend the rules a little.

“It’s… drinkable?” Fergus grimaces as Adam’s question reminds him of his forgotten, and swiftly cooling, cup of coffee.

Adam laughs. “A glowing review.” He stands up, goosebumps immediately covering his skin. “I bought some from home. I’ll make you a cup of coffee that you can actually enjoy.” He’s out of the hot tub and grabbing Fergus’s coffee mug before Fergus can reply. He watches as Adam disappears into the house, but definitely isn’t staring at the droplets of water running down his back.

It’s probably a shame they got off on the wrong foot, because he sort of feels like if they’d met any other way he and Adam could have been friends. But he’s still not letting him have the bed.

By the time Adam comes back, Fergus is staring at his phone, his finger hovering over the voicemail button as he tries to decide whether or not to listen to the message Toby has left him. He made a decision a week ago that he was going to just ignore them, but here he is about to hit play again.

“Everything alright?” Adam holds out a mug of coffee that Fergus can already tell is much nicer than the instant stuff he had found in the cupboard.

“Yeah, just…” He holds up the phone, showing Adam the little red dot above the voicemail icon. “I told myself I was going to stop listening to them but…”

Adam puts his coffee down next to Fergus’s mug and climbs back in. “God that’s better. It’s freezing out there. But yeah, I get it. It’s like a scab you can’t stop picking.”

“Spoken from heartbreak experience?” Fergus sips his coffee and sighs happily.

“Good right?” Adam smiles when Fergus nods. “And uh, no, not really. Never let myself get to that stage to be honest.”

“Well, maybe you could teach me.”

Adam laughs. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

Fergus’s laugh is more bitter. “Can’t be worse than this.” Then he looks up at Adam. “The heartbreak, I mean. This,” He gestures between them, “is actually quite nice.”

Adam feels that panic rise in him that he gets whenever anything gets too ‘nice’. But fortunately he’s spared from any self-sabotage when Fergus’s phone starts to ring once more. Fergus looks sad again and Adam finds himself wanting to fix it. “Want me to answer it? That might give him the message.”

Fergus laughs more genuinely this time. “Really tempting. Maybe you could just yeet the phone into the forest for me?”

“Or,” Adam takes the phone and puts it on a step, slightly out of Fergus’s reach, “you could ignore the phone and tell me what you do for a living?”

By the time they get out Fergus has told Adam that he works in communications, and he discovers that Adam is a journalist who is currently selling his soul to a tabloid but would rather write a book. Fergus has heard about Adam’s break up with Alice, and was glad when Adam didn’t push for details about what happened with Toby, because he doesn’t think he’d be able to tell him about it without crying. He even finds himself telling Adam that in a bid to get out of the house and doing something different he’s signed up for a 10k run.

“How’s the training going?”

“Er.”

“That good? When’s the race?”

“Next month.”

Adam laughs, and although he sticks his middle finger up at him, Fergus isn’t actually as offended by that as he might have been an hour ago. “Well, maybe you could come out with me in the morning? I usually do 5k, it would be a good benchmark for you.”

Fergus rolls his eyes. “God, of course you usually run a 5k.” Adam returns the middle finger gesture. “But, that would probably be really helpful. If you don’t mind me holding you up?”

Adam just shrugs again. “I don’t mind taking it easy.”

After how annoyed at him Adam was yesterday, and most of this morning, Fergus can’t help wondering whether Adam’s casual, couldn’t care either way attitude is as genuine as it seems, but then he can scarcely talk when it comes to secrets and hiding parts of yourself. Plus he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth because he’s actually starting to really panic about the race. “Thanks.”

—

They mostly do their own thing for the rest of the day. Fergus leaves Adam typing furiously on his laptop, unsure if he’s actually pissed off with whatever he’s writing or if that’s just how he always types, and goes for a walk. He’d still rather be here on his own, but now they’ve settled into something slightly more amicable, it’s not awful having Adam here. And although he doesn’t want to talk about Toby, it was nice to have someone totally on his side, not trying to see both sides or to try and fix what Fergus knows in his heart can’t be fixed.

He’s also looking forward to the spa tomorrow. He’d never have booked one himself, but if it’s on offer he’s definitely going to make the most of it.

He calls Nat on his way back, and tells her all about Adam turning up. In turn she tells him all about Alice’s side of the break up, which is pretty much exactly how Adam had told it.

“So by all accounts he’s a total dick. Are you sure you want to stay there with him?”

“I don’t know, Nat. I thought that at first but he’s not so bad.” He doesn’t tell her about the hot tub, because he doesn’t want to mention Toby, plus she’ll get the wrong idea.

Although it sounds like she’s got the wrong idea already because she laughs. “I know that voice! You like him!”

“Piss off, Nat. Of course I don’t. I’m not even thinking about anything like that at the moment.” He hears her about to interrupt. “And even if I was, which I’m definitely not, I think I know better than to go after a straight guy with commitment issues.”

“Alice did say he was good looking. And very good-”

“Please don’t finish that sentence!” Fergus holds the phone away from his ear as Nat laughs. “Seriously, Nat. I’m not looking for anything like that. But I’m a bit of a bastard, he’s a bit of a bastard. Maybe it’s the start of a beautiful friendship.”

“Sure, ok, Fergus. I believe you.” Fergus rolls his eyes at her obvious sarcasm. “Look, I’ve got to go, but call me on Thursday, after the spa? I want to know what it’s like. Unless, you know, you’re too busy…”

He can hear the smirk in her voice and pictures the wink she’s probably added for good measure, despite the fact he can’t see her. “Bye, Nat.” He can still hear her laughing as he hangs up.

He gets back just as it’s getting dark, wondering about what to do for dinner. He’d brought a few ready meals with him, because he wasn’t sure what was nearby, and whilst it had been fine last night, he wasn’t sure if he could face another microwave meal.

Adam is in the kitchen, and it smells really good.

“You can cook?” Fergus asks in lieu of a greeting.

Adam turns around and rolls his eyes. “Why are people always surprised?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

But Adam just waves him off. “I’m kidding. They’re surprised because I’m a total bastard that never makes any effort. And actually, it’s just pasta, nothing exciting. I just figured you might not want another ping meal, as great as it looked last night. Plus some carbs won’t go amiss if you’re coming out for a run in the morning.” Adam turns back to the stove.

“Yeah, it wasn’t great.” Fergus takes his coat off and washes his hands so he can lay the table. “Thank you.”

Adam just shrugs, brushing the thanks off. Yeah, thinks Fergus, not really a man that never makes any effort. He feels his stomach flutter as he keeps glancing over to watch Adam cook, which is absolutely just because he’s hungry and nothing to do with the well fitting grey t-shirt that’s tight around Adam’s biceps.

—

Fergus rolls over, again. He can’t sleep. And he can’t sleep because he feels bad. Which is ridiculous because Adam is a complete stranger. Yes, he is maybe not quite as much of a prick as he first seemed, but slight thaw in their frosty relationship or not, he doesn’t want him in his bed. But it’s so cold tonight, all he can think of is Adam out there on that stupidly small sofa, under a too thin blanket. And he’s not going to be able to sleep knowing it’s sort of his fault. It’s a king-size bed, surely they could share for a couple of nights?

Fergus sits up and pushes the duvet back. He’s already made up his mind but the cold air cements it. He switches on the lamp and is out of the bedroom door before he can talk himself out of it.

“Adam? Are you awake?” He whispers into the darkness.

“What’s up?” It’s probably just Fergus’s guilty conscience, but Adam sounds cold.

“It’s too cold to sleep on the sofa, and it’s a big bed.” He falters. Now he’s saying it, it sounds a little crazy. “I just thought, maybe, we could share? You must be freezing out here.”

He can’t see Adam, but he swears he can feel the surprised look he gives him. There’s a long silence, during which Fergus has to force himself to stay still and not just retreat back into the bedroom.

Adam is rarely surprised, but if someone had asked him what Fergus was going to say, this wouldn’t have been it. For a split second he wonders if this is Fergus coming onto him, but he dismisses the idea almost immediately. It’s unfathomable enough to think that Fergus could not hate him enough to share his bed when it’s cold in the cabin, but the idea of him being into him at all is laughable. And Adam would definitely say no anyway. “You don’t have to do that, it’s fine.”

“Look, I can’t sleep for feeling bad.” Fergus sounds like that admission has been dragged out of him through gritted teeth. “You’re laying out here on an uncomfortable couch, in the cold, just because of my superior Rock, Paper, Scissors skills.”

Adam laughs. It is really fucking cold out here. And Fergus does sound like he feels bad.  “Yeah, ok. I mean, if you’re sure? I wouldn’t want you to feel bad over a total fluke of good luck.”

Fergus relaxes slightly. He’s not sure if it’s weird to have ‘familiar ground’ with someone he’s only just met, but it’s nice to be back on it all the same. “You wish, mate. Come get in the fucking bed before I change my mind.” He walks into the bedroom and gets back under the duvet, pleased when Adam follows a few seconds later and gets in beside him.

Fergus rolls over to switch off the lamp. “Night.” He whispers into the darkness and then falls asleep to the sound of Adam breathing beside him.

Chapter Text

For a few long seconds, Fergus thinks he’s back home in his own bed and that Toby is beside him. Then he realises this isn’t his flat, and the arms wrapped around him aren’t Toby’s.

Adam.

He’d felt bad for Adam, out on the sofa when it’s so cold. And now Adam is spooning him. For just a split second Fergus lets himself enjoy being held. He hasn’t had this since Toby moved out and he hadn’t realised just how much he’d missed it. Then he’s consumed by guilt, plus Adam is quite clearly straight, and the last thing he needs is to set himself up for any more heartbreak, so he tries to wiggle free without waking Adam. But Adam just grumbles and pulls Fergus tighter against his body. Fergus feels a jolt of arousal flood through him, which just serves to make him feel even more guilty.

“Adam!” He wiggles again. “Adam, I need to get up.”

He feels Adam loosen his grip, and then he must realise what he’s doing because the next moment Adam is over on the other side of the bed. “Shit, sorry I-”

Fergus gets out of bed. “Don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t.” He adds when Adam looks like he’s going to keep talking. And then Fergus practically runs out of the room, hoping that he can drown the memory of what Adam’s body pressed up against his feels like.

Adam watches Fergus rush out of the room and then collapses back against his pillow.

Fucking hell.

He’s hard, but that’s just a natural reaction to waking up pressed against someone. He hears the shower click on and stares up at the ceiling, trying to forget how it had felt to wake up against Fergus. He’d barely had chance to enjoy it, but what little he remembered was burned into his memory. Which is definitely just because he hasn’t had sex in a while. No other reason.

His hand drifts down to the waistband of his shorts but he stops himself, moving his arm back outside the duvet. He can’t have a wank in Fergus’s bed. He’ll just have to wait for the shower to come free.

—

Once he’s under the hot spray, it only takes him about a minute to come. And he definitely doesn’t imagine Fergus doing the same thing in this shower just ten minutes ago as he leans against the cool tiles and spills over his hand.

Fergus has made him a coffee when he finally leaves the bathroom. “Thanks.” He sits down opposite Fergus, who has yet to make eye contact with him. “Still want to head out for that run?”

Fergus finally looks at him, clearly grateful to Adam for not mentioning their spooning. “Yeah, if you’re absolutely sure you don’t mind? I can’t stress how bad I am at running.”

It turns out Fergus isn’t quite as bad as he thinks, although there is plenty of room for improvement. They take a break at the 3k mark, when Fergus declares that he might be sick if they do not rest for a few minutes. Adam steers him towards a clearing that he had spotted yesterday, that has a fallen tree they can sit on for a few minutes.

“You don’t want to rest for too long, or you’ll find it’s worse when you get going again.”

Adam has a feeling he is spared Fergus’s true thoughts on account of the fact he is still trying to catch his breath. “How long have you been running for?” Fergus finally manages between rapid breaths.

“Try slower, deeper breaths.” Adam laughs when Fergus flips him off. “About four years. The late nights and the takeaways were catching up with me and my ex used to do a lot of those Spartan races. I didn’t fancy that but it did get me into running regularly. I even did a half marathon last year.”

Fergus grimaces at even the thought of that kind of distance. “Christ. And I can’t even manage two miles.”

Adam nudges Fergus gently with his shoulder. “You’ll get there. Right, time to go or your muscles are going to seize up.” Adam stands up and holds his hand out to Fergus who reluctantly takes it and lets Adam pull him up.

Fergus blames his shaky legs on the desire to swoon slightly when Adam takes his hand. He lets go and passes the other two kilometres by berating himself for even entertaining the idea of developing a crush on Adam.

When they get back Adam smiles at him and tells him it’s a good time. “You’ll be up to 10k in no time. You’re probably going to ache later though.”

Fergus smiles back. “Thanks. Hopefully the spa later will help though.”

“Oh yeah, I was going to ask you about that. It’s a couples ticket, so we’re going to need to try and exchange it for two singles.” Adam pulls his mobile out of his pocket. “I’m going to ring them and ask them if they can swap it out.”

Fergus nods. “Yeah, that’s fine by me. I’m going to go have another shower, I feel gross.”

—

“I’m sorry to hear your plans have changed, Mr Kenyon, but unfortunately there are no single tickets left for today. But you’re welcome to use the couples ticket on your own.” Adam is probably imagining the patronising tone but it still puts him in a bad mood before he has even finished the call.

Fergus walks through into the kitchen and catches sight of his frown. “No luck with the spa then?”

“No, they’re fully booked so the ticket we’ve got is the only one that’s available.”

A charged moment of silence settles over the kitchen, and then they narrow their eyes at each other, their tentative truce forgotten as it dawns on them that only one of them will be able to use the spa.

“Rock, Paper, Scissors?” Fergus asks, only half joking.

Adam wasn’t even bothered about the spa, but now he just cannot help but be a bastard about it. And there is no way he is leaving it to chance. “Absolutely not. I think you cheated the first time.”

Fergus rolls his eyes. “How could I possibly have cheated at Rock, Paper, Scissors?” Adam doesn’t have an answer for that. “I get that you’ve paid half for the holiday, so why don’t you let me know what the spa cost, and I’ll pay you back for your share.”

It is so reasonable that it makes Adam want to be even more stubborn. He really does hate himself sometimes. “Or, I could go and pay you for your half.”

Fergus crosses his arms. “I don’t think you even want to go. I think you’re just being awkward for the sake of it.”

This makes Adam pause. Considering his normal interactions, both in his personal life and at work, it is almost refreshing to be verbally sparring with someone who calls him out on his bullshit, even if he does hate that Fergus seems to have sussed him out so quickly. He knows Fergus is right, and that Adam is just being mean for the sake of it. Ordinarily he would double down but there is something different about Fergus that he desperately does not want to think too hard about.

“We could just use the couples ticket.” Adam feels a bit like he’s watching someone else say the words. They cannot possibly have come from him.

Fergus is clearly surprised too. “What, together?”

Adam looks away from him, suddenly feeling very awkward. He shrugs, feigning a nonchalance that he definitely is not feeling. “The only thing you actually have to do together is the massage and dinner. We probably wouldn’t even have to see each other the rest of the time.”

When Adam finally glances over at Fergus to gauge his response, Fergus looks confused. Which makes two of them. He is not sure why he is suddenly willing to compromise with Fergus, when normally compromise would be a dirty word for him. But Fergus also looks guarded, like he is waiting for Adam to pull the rug out from underneath him. Fergus hasn’t told him much about what went on between him and Toby, but Adam can make a good enough guess and he finds himself desperate not to contribute further to that.

“There’s no sense in one of us missing out when we don’t have to.”

Fergus sighs. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Fine, as long as we don’t have to see each other much.”

Adam is taken aback at the little flash of hurt he feels, despite Fergus only echoing his own words back at him. He nods and then heads to the bathroom. Oh well, he’s not here to make friends, and he sort of got his own way about the spa. That’s all he wanted, right?

—

The woman behind the counter definitely thinks they are a couple, which Adam thinks is probably fair enough considering they are using a voucher for a couple’s massage, and somewhat funny, but Fergus is clearly unimpressed at Adam’s amusement.

Their massage is first and Adam tries to relax through it. He hates being still for this long. It leaves him alone with his thoughts which he usually tries to avoid at all costs.

He has made the mistake of laying with his head turned to the side Fergus is laying so he has to watch as the masseuse works oil into his skin and not imagine what it might be like to feel Fergus’s warm skin under his own hands. The thought of closing his eyes never even occurs to him.

By the time it is over Fergus looks relaxed, but Adam is anything but. The woman massaging him had made a few comments about the tension in his shoulders, but he couldn’t exactly admit he was leaving with more tension than he’d entered the room with.

They are given access to the other spa facilities for the next two hours, and whilst they had both agreed they would be able to avoid each other until dinner, it was quite a small spa and they end up in the sauna together.

Fergus feels the most relaxed he has felt in some time, but a different kind of tension settles in him as he watches Adam tip his head back against the Sauna wall and close his eyes. His skin is slightly shiny from the oil and before he can stop himself, Fergus imagines what it would feel like for them to be pressed up against each other now, like they were this morning. He tries desperately to tamp down that thought, especially in his swimming trunks and a towel.

He is so busy trying to force himself to think of anything else, he doesn’t notice Adam jiggling his leg at first. Then once he notices it is all he can focus on, as it vibrates through the bench.

“Do you mind?” Fergus finally snaps.

Adam opens his eyes and looks across at him. “What?”

“Stop jiggling. You’re shaking the entire bench.”

Adam looks down at his leg like he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. “I don’t know how people do this regularly.” He says, but mercifully stops moving.

Fergus sighs. Adam is infuriating, and he knows he should probably just not ask. “Do what?”

“This. Spas. I hate sitting still for so long.”

Fergus sighs again. “Then why did you insist on wanting to come?”

Adam looks away again, and has the good grace to look slightly guilty. “Thought this time might be different.”

Fergus rolls his eyes. “Of course you did.” Adam just closes his eyes again without responding and it is quiet again for a few minutes.

Until the tapping starts. Fergus looks over and finds Adam tapping his fingers on the bench beside him. “Jesus Christ!” He doesn’t mean to explode, but Adam just brings the worst out in him.

“Sorry.” Adam says without opening his eyes, sounding anything but.

“What do you normally do to relax?”

Adam opens his eyes and winks at Fergus, laughing. Fergus cannot help but glance down to Adam’s lap, which just makes Adam laugh harder.

“God, you’re such an annoying bastard!” Fergus turns his back on Adam with a huff. He finds himself, once again, imagining Adam getting himself off in their shared bed this morning after Fergus had rushed from the room. He tries desperately to think of anything else.

Adam rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you have mentioned.” He does feel slightly bad for annoying Fergus, and whilst it was accidental at first, he has to admit he is doing it on purpose now. “Alright, alright, I’ll go for a swim and get out of your hair.”

Adam leaves the sauna and Fergus sits back. He feels a little bit bad, but Adam doesn’t seem too upset as he drops his towel on a sunbed and gets into the pool. Fergus should feel relieved that Adam is gone, but instead his absence just leaves this weird void that Fergus does not want to think about.

Fergus only lasts another few minutes in the sauna before he has to get out and he finds his own sunbed, only choosing the one next to Adam’s because it is busy. And he definitely does not watch Adam swimming strongly up and down the pool. Of course he’s good at that too.

He glances across at Adam’s towel on the sunbed. He is not sure what it is about Adam that brings out the worst in him, but before he can stop himself he has grabbed the towel and dropped it down beside his sunbed, out of sight.

He isn’t really sure what he was hoping to achieve, but he feels like whatever it was has backfired spectacularly when Adam stands in front of him, water running down his body, as he looks for his towel.

“Have you seen my towel?”

Fergus just shakes his head, not trusting himself to speak. His mouth is so dry he is not sure he would be able to anyway. Adam just shrugs and walks off to get a new towel. Staring at Adam’s back as he walks away does not help either. He gets in the pool so he is not nearby when Adam gets back, and swims some half-hearted lengths whilst he waits for Adam to go in search of the steam room so he can get back out.

He sits back on his sunbed and presses his hands against his eyes. As if his life isn’t complicated enough at the moment, he has decided to make it worse by developing a crush on a straight guy with a massive attitude problem.

By the time they are changed and ready for dinner, he has wound himself up even more, so when the waitress refers to him as Adam’s boyfriend he can’t help but snap, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

The waitress looks apologetic but Adam just laughs. Fergus manages to wait until she’s walked off before saying anything.

"You don't have to be such a prick about it, you know."

Adam looks surprised. "A prick about what?"

"About being my boyfriend. Yeah, I get it, someone like you wouldn't date someone like me.” Adam frowns at him and Fergus suddenly wants to be anywhere but here. “Look, I don't think this is a good idea, I'm going to go."

Fergus gets up but Adam grabs his arm before he can leave. "Don't.” Fergus pauses and after a few seconds of internal debate sits down again. Adam let’s go of his arm but watches Fergus carefully, like he is a skittish animal. “I'm sorry. But I swear that wasn't why I laughed.”

Fergus just raises his eyebrows, so Adam continues. “I was actually laughing at the idea that someone like you would date someone like me. I'm sure Nat has told you all about Alice's experience with me. I know we don't always see eye to eye, but you seem like a really great guy, much nicer than any of my ex-boyfriends. If you could even call them that."

At the back of his mind Fergus is vaguely aware he should possibly think about saying thank you for what seems to be a genuine compliment. And probably apologise for thinking the worst of Adam. But all he can focus on is boyfriends.

Adam is bi. Fergus’s traitorous heart thumps in his chest. Maybe...

"I'm sorry." Fergus interrupts his own thoughts, before they sow the seeds of something as impossible as it is dangerous. "I shouldn't have assumed the worst. I just..." He trails off. "I've had an experience recently that didn't exactly help me see the best in people. But you don't deserve that. And for what it's worth, the idea of me wanting to date you isn't that far-fetched. Someone like you, I mean!"

Fergus cringes but fortunately the waitress comes back before he can embarrass himself further. He makes a point of being really friendly to make up for his earlier behaviour. Adam does not let on if he noticed Fergus’s slip of the tongue and they settle into safer conversation topics. They discover they are both into squash and Fergus finds himself telling Adam a bit more about his life, although he still leaves out anything that involves Toby.

It turns out that when Adam’s acerbic nature isn’t focused on him, Adam is very funny and Fergus finds himself laughing more than he has in months, or possibly even years. He does not want to unpick that right now, so he just focuses on Adam and tries to ignore the fact that he hasn’t felt like this since he first met Toby.

—

By the time they get back to the airbnb it is so cold Fergus insists they share the bed again. It sort of feels like he is torturing himself, but he honestly could not make Adam sleep on the sofa anymore. And Adam doesn’t take much convincing.

They settle beside each other and once the light is out Fergus cannot help looking over at Adam. The outdoor light leaks through the curtains just enough that Fergus can see Adam is watching him too.

“Thanks for today. It was fun, in the end.”

Fergus wasn’t expecting Adam to say anything, and he gets the feeling he probably wouldn’t have without the protection of darkness. “Thanks too. I enjoyed it.”

For a moment he thinks about leaning over the foot wide gap between them and kissing Adam. And for half a second he thinks that just maybe Adam might be thinking the same thing. But then the moment passes and Adam whispers good night before rolling onto his side. Fergus rolls the opposite way, lying to himself that he wants to minimise the chance of repeating this morning’s incident.

Chapter Text

When Adam wakes up he is alone in the bed. He glances at the alarm clock beside the bed and is surprised to see it is gone 9am. He can’t remember the last time he slept in until this time.

He doesn’t remember Fergus getting up, so he has no idea whether his body behaved itself this morning or not. He lays there and thinks about yesterday. Fergus is annoying, and petty, and stubborn, and Adam is fairly sure he likes him more than he has ever liked anyone before. He has no idea what to do with that.

He thinks he can smell coffee, and it drags him out of bed. Adam finds Fergus in the kitchen,  standing at the door that leads out to the hot tub. Fergus must hear him because he turns around. “It’s snowing. Oh, and there’s a coffee for you on the worktop. It should still be hot.”

Adam picks up the coffee and walks over to stand beside Fergus. There is a thin layer of snow settling on the ground and whilst Adam does not usually care for snow, he cannot deny that it looks fairly picturesque outside.

“How are your legs this morning?” Adam asks between sips of his coffee.

“Sore. But I’m not sure if that’s the running or the massage.” Fergus looks outside again. “I was thinking about going out for another run, but I’m not sure I fancy it in this weather.”

Adam shakes his head. “You should probably take a rest day.”

“I might go for a walk instead.” Fergus goes to put his empty cup in the sink. “You could join me, unless you’ve got other plans?”

Adam isn’t quite sure how they have gone from hating each other to actively choosing to spend time together, but he doesn’t think he minds. He is about to say yes when his phone rings. “I’d better take this, just a second. Hi Peter, what can I do for you, on my day off?”

Adam steps outside for privacy, but Fergus can tell from his facial expressions he is frustrated with the call. When he comes back inside he is frowning darkly. “Going to have to take a rain check on the walk. My editor needs something submitted today. It’ll probably take me a couple of hours to finish it off.” He grabs his laptop from his bag and puts it down on the coffee table none too gently.

Fergus pulls a sympathetic face. “Maybe later then? I’m sure I can find something else to do this morning.”

Adam cannot really believe that Fergus would be so keen to spend time with him that he would change his plans, but he is grateful all the same, even if he will never let on. “If you are sure.” Is all he mutters, but Fergus just smiles, like he knows Adam, which makes his skin feel a few sizes too small.

In the end the article only takes him an hour and a half to finish, and Fergus brings him coffee periodically, never once disturbing him, which definitely does not make his chest ache fondly. He sits back once he has clicked send and rubs his eyes. “Fucking hell.”

Fergus walks through from the bedroom, barefoot with his sleeves rolled up, holding his book, and Adam suddenly has this vision of doing this every day. Which is a fucking ridiculous thing to think about someone he has only known for three and a bit days. “All done?” Fergus asks him and Adam has to blink a few times to get his brain in gear before nodding.

Fergus puts his book down on the side. “The snow has really settled. Still fancy that walk? Even you can’t be a bastard in the snow.”

“Fucking watch me.” Adam replies, but he can’t help smiling at Fergus, despite his best efforts not to.

He puts a jumper on under his coat and digs his scarf out of his bag before they head out. Fergus seems less well prepared for the cold weather when he joins him outside, but Adam opts to stay quiet to maintain this more pleasant peace they seem to have found.

There is still a few flakes of snow drifting down, but it is much lighter now. It has settled well and there’s enough snow underfoot that it crunches softly as they walk. They opt to walk the same route they ran yesterday so they can take a break when they get to the clearing.

The temperature is definitely still dropping, and Adam keeps his hands in his pockets as they walk.

“So will you have to do any more on your article before Christmas?”

Adam shakes his head. “No, it’s with my editor now, who will probably rip it to pieces but it was the final draft so at least I never have to see it again.”

Fergus pushes his hands further into his pockets. “You don’t read your own articles in the paper then?”

Adam snorts. “I used to. But this is so far from what I want to be writing I can hardly stand to write it, let alone read it again. It’s just some rubbish about a celebrity that was due to go out in the New Year, but they moved it forward because apparently something exciting is coming out soon.”

“So what would you rather be writing about?” Fergus sounds cold, and when Adam glances over at him walking alongside him, he’s fairly sure Fergus is shivering. But he’s pleased Fergus seems as uninterested in the celebrity crap as he is. “I'm a political journalist by background, and I've been working on a piece about the coalition, but every time I get close to publishing, some fucking celeb wank gets put in instead. It’s a tabloid. All they're interested in is paparazzi photos of celebs and exposés.

“I’ve published a few things freelance that I was proud of, but it’s so much harder to make a living that way. You’ve got to be in London, but London isn’t cheap. If I was just focusing on the book, with a bit of freelance on the side, I’d move somewhere like this.”

They’ve reached the clearing and Fergus turns to face Adam, narrowing his eyes. “Says the man who couldn’t sit still in a sauna for ten minutes.”

“Ok, fine. Maybe not permanently. But it would be nice to come somewhere like this for a few months and just focus on the book, with no distractions, get out for walks or runs in the fresh air every day. Hot tub is pretty nice too.”

“You’d love my mum’s place. No hot tub, but it’s about as opposite to London as you could imagine. I couldn’t wait to leave when I was a teenager. Now I can’t wait to go home and get out of London.” Fergus smiles as he thinks about home, but fortunately he’s not looking at Adam anymore because Adam can’t stop staring. From what little Fergus has let on, he is clearly not in the right place for a new relationship, and maybe Adam should just be grateful he seems to have him as a friend now, but he has reached a point where he can’t deny how attracted he is to Fergus.

As he watches Fergus, Adam notices that he is definitely shivering. Adam watches him for a few more moments before asking, “Didn’t you bring a scarf?”

Fergus turns to glare at him. “Oh yeah I did, I just thought I’d see how long it takes to freeze to death instead.”

Adam rolls his eyes and adds ‘dramatic’ to his not so complimentary list of adjectives about Fergus. “You’re hardly going to freeze to death in England.” But he moves towards Fergus, pulling his own scarf off as he walks.

He stops just in front of Fergus who seems frozen in place and wraps the warm scarf around Fergus’s neck. He winds it around Fergus carefully, making sure he’s well wrapped up, his warm fingers brushing against the cold skin of Fergus’s neck. Fergus shivers again, and this time it’s nothing to do with the cold. “I was fine.” He mutters, although Adam notes he doesn’t take the scarf off.

“Of course you were.” Adam says.

Fergus huffs but as the warmth of the scarf seeps into his cold skin he smiles softly. “Thanks, Adam.” He whispers.

Adam rolls his eyes again but there’s a smile threatening to make itself known. “Watching you shiver was getting on my nerves.”

“Of course it was.” Fergus replies, using Adam’s own words against him. Adam laughs.

They’re so close that Fergus can see little ice crystals in Adam’s eye lashes, and count the scattering of freckles that adorn his cheeks and nose. They stare at each other for longer than should be comfortable, but neither seems to want to move away. Adam leans in slightly and Fergus is fairly sure Adam is about to kiss him. Fergus is also fairly sure he would let him.

Their lips are centimetres apart when suddenly a noise breaks through the bubble around them.

Fergus’s phone. Toby, Fergus thinks.

They step back from each other and Fergus pulls his phone out to check it’s not his mum. He’s not sure if Toby’s name on the screen makes him angry or sad. Maybe he could just cry angrily and cover all bases?

“Hey,” Adam says gently, pulling Fergus’s attention back to him. “maybe your idea about yeeting that thing into the forest wasn’t such a bad idea after all.” Fergus laughs but it’s a brittle sounding thing, so Adam continues. “Did you want to talk about it? Sometimes talking to a stranger can be quite cathartic.“ he adds, despite having never opened up to another person in his life.

Fergus’s first instinct is to say no. But as he opens his mouth to reply, he realises he wants to get this all out. All the hurt, the betrayal, the sadness. He just doesn’t know how. “I think I’d need a few drinks before I could do that.”

“Well why don’t we go out for a drink this evening. The pub nearby is quite nice apparently, and they do food. My treat.”

That little voice at the back of his head tells him to say no. To protect himself, to not be a burden, to not drive away a new friend. He closes his eyes for a few seconds, trying to drown out that voice. He opens his eyes again and manages a weak smile at Adam. “Yeah, that sounds good actually.”

By the time they make their way back it is starting to snow again. They take it turns to shower and get dressed, and once they are both ready to leave it is dark and the snow is coming down thick and fast. Fortunately the pub is only ten minutes walk away, and Adam lets Fergus borrow his scarf again.

Fergus finds a table whilst Adam orders drinks. He knows this isn’t a date. Adam is just being nice whilst they’re effectively stuck together. But he can’t help but admire Adam’s profile as he stands at the bar. He has taken his coat off and is wearing a dark blue shirt, tucked into his jeans. Fergus fails miserably in his attempt to not let his eyes drift downwards. And then when Adam finally takes his seat opposite Fergus, Fergus is treated to a little glimpse of Adam’s chest where he hasn’t buttoned his shirt all the way to the top. It feels almost obscene, despite the fact that just yesterday Fergus had spent most of the afternoon with Adam wearing much less.

God he wants him. And it is not doing much to improve the feeling of confusion and uncertainty that has plagued him for months now.

Fergus takes a long drink from his beer. He is not much of a drinker usually, but he thinks he is going to need it if there is any chance of him telling Adam more about what happened with Toby.

“Steady on.” Adam tells him, gently. “At least get some food in you first.” He hands Fergus the menu.

They talk about nothing in particular whilst they wait for their food, and then there is a comfortable silence whilst they eat.

Fergus goes up to the bar to get them another drink, and gets himself a double whisky whilst he is there. He knocks it back at the bar, grimacing at the taste. He probably didn’t need to bother, because he could already feel the effects of his single beer, but it seemed appropriate somehow.

Adam raises his eyebrow when Fergus gets back to the table, but he doesn’t say anything about the extra drink he has clearly just seen Fergus have. Instead he just says cheers, and waits for Fergus to make the next move.

Fergus can feel the alcohol settling into his blood stream. He doesn’t feel relaxed, exactly, but he feels like he could probably start talking now. If he knew how to start, that is.

“Toby cheated on me.” Fergus finally blurts out. “I know that doesn’t seem that bad, but he was sleeping with his colleague for almost a year, and all our friends knew.”

Adam leans back in his chair. “Shit.” Fergus thinks that is probably a fairly good summary. “For what it’s worth, cheating does seem that bad, full stop. But that’s awful. I’m really sorry.”

“It…” Fergus trails off and takes another long drink. He’s never even told his mum or Nat the full story, but now he’s started he just wants to get it all out. “It was just so many betrayals, all at once.

“Our friends all knew because apparently he used to take this guy out when he was meeting up with them. Like he was…” Fergus trails off. “They didn’t tell me. And he never would have told me either, if I hadn’t found out by accident. One of our friends had a new girlfriend, who didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret, and she tagged him in a photo on Facebook. They were- Well they were clearly together.”

Adam is surprised at just how much he wants to punch a man he has never met. All of them, actually. Instead, all he can say is, “Fucking hell, Fergus.”

“When I confronted him about it he didn’t even try to deny it. But his defence was it was over now, and he’d chosen me.” Now he’s started, Fergus doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop until it’s all out of him. “Except, I know the only reason it was over, the only reason he ‘chose me’, was because David moved away.”

Fergus finishes his beer. “I told him that I couldn’t believe he could do that to me. He told me I was overreacting.”

The wave of anger washes over Adam again. “I hope you told him to fuck off.”

Fergus laughs, albeit humourlessly. “Yeah, I did. I told him I didn’t think I’d be able to forgive him. I told him he needed to move out, and I think he thought I’d give in, but a couple of days later he went to stay with some of our friends.

“This was two months ago. He’s been calling me, on and off, ever since. Our friends- his friends have all sided with him. They can’t understand why I’m so bothered when it was all over before I even found out.” Fergus scrubs at his eyes wearily, and Adam’s heart aches. Adam almost feels bad for making Fergus talk about this, but deep down he knows it’s probably doing him good.

“Sorry, I think I’m a bit drunk.” Fergus looks at Adam with watery eyes and Adam is slightly overwhelmed by how much he wants to hug Fergus until he isn’t sad anymore, even though he knows that’s not how it really works.

“Don’t be sorry. I hope it’s helping to talk about it.” Adam hesitates a second before reaching over the table to squeeze Fergus’s hand. Fergus looks down at their hands and before Adam can overthink it and pull back, Fergus tightens his grip, holding on.

“I think it is helping.” Fergus feels wrung out, and more than a bit drunk, but he is determined to keep going. Maybe he has just been holding it all in too long, or maybe something about Adam makes him brave. “We’ve known each other since we were at school, and we’d been together for nearly four years. But do you want to know what I think I’m most fucked up about?”

Adam wants to tell Fergus he doesn’t think he is fucked up, but he knows Fergus needs to get all this out. “Yeah.”

“I don’t think the hurt is even heartbreak, not really. I’m not that sad without him. It’s the betrayal that I can’t shake off. He lied to me, our friends lied to me. It just feels like everyone is lying to me. How do I get over that?”

Adam isn’t sure he is in the least bit qualified to answer that, but he is saved from having to try by Fergus dropping his head into hands and Adam has a horrible feeling he is crying. Fortunately the pub is fairly quiet by now, not that Adam cares, but he has a feeling that Fergus might.

He lays his hand, which feels cold now Fergus isn’t clinging to it, on Fergus’s shoulder and strokes his neck in a manner he hopes is friendly and soothing. He gives Fergus a few minutes and then he squeezes Fergus’s shoulder gently before standing up. “Come on, let’s get you back home.”

Fergus doesn’t really say anything, but he doesn’t object either. Adam helps him into his coat, and wraps his scarf around him carefully. Fergus stumbles slightly when they step out into the cold so Adam wraps an arm around him. He is glad it’s not far to walk, but it still takes them twice as long as the journey to the pub.

“Sorry.” Fergus mutters miserably as Adam holds him tightly with one arm and types the door code with the other.

Adam coaxes Fergus inside before he answers. “Don’t be.” And as much as he usually hates taking care of drunk mates, he genuinely means it. He pulls the scarf off and unzips Fergus’s coat. “It’s probably done you good. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. And it probably won’t feel that great in the morning, but that’s the alcohol, not the talking.”

Fergus yawns as Adam hangs their coats up and Adam steers him towards the bedroom. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

Adam is glad the cabin doesn’t have stairs, because as much as he is enjoying this close proximity to Fergus, he doesn’t think he has it in him to drag him up stairs.

Fergus stands in the bedroom, swaying slightly. He looks at Adam. “You know, you can take me to bed any time.”

Adam feels his stomach drop. It’s not unwelcome, but he is not entirely sure it’s not just the drink talking.

Fergus sways again and Adam steps closer to catch him. Fergus grins, like that was his plan all along. Then he’s leaning in and just before their lips touch Adam tilts his head away. “Not like this.”

Fergus frowns sadly at him and pulls away. “You don’t like me.”

Christ, it is like kicking a puppy and all Adam wants to do is take Fergus’s face in his hands and kiss him. Instead he pulls Fergus closer and rests their foreheads together. "Of course I fucking do. That's why I don't want to do it like this. If you still want to kiss me in the morning, I'll gladly kiss you."

Fergus looks at Adam for a few long moments and then nods, stepping back away from Adam. “I’ll definitely still want to kiss you in the morning.” He says, and then he pouts in a way that Adam definitely shouldn’t find endearing. “Not sure I’ll be brave enough though.”

Adam steps back in a places a chaste kiss on Fergus’s cheek, stepping back again before Fergus can turn his head to make it a proper kiss. Adam enjoys the soft flush on Fergus’s cheek. “I hope you will.” He walks over to the door. “I’ll give you ten minutes to get ready for bed.”

And then he is gone. Fergus stumbles around getting ready for bed and tries to stay awake for when he comes back, but he can barely open his eyes by the time he feels Adam climb into bed beside him. As he drifts off, he thinks Adam lays a little closer to him, but he cannot be sure it’s not just drunken wishful thinking.

Chapter Text

When Fergus wakes up, he’s alone and decidedly hungover. He glances over at the alarm clock to check the time, and finds a packet of paracetamol and a glass of water on his bedside table. He takes the tablets gratefully and collapses back against his pillow. It’s only 8am, so he figures he can allow himself a little while to wallow and wait for the tablets to kick in.

He feels slightly anxious, and he’s hoping that’s just because he’s been drinking, rather than because he actually did something stupid.

He closes his eyes and then immediately opens them again as memories from last night start to appear. Shit. He doesn’t regret pouring his heart out to Adam. He actually feels the best about the Toby situation that he has felt in a really long time. It’s what he thinks happened afterwards that is making him panic.

He’s fairly sure he tried to kiss Adam, which is so pathetically embarrassing he’s actually glad today is the last day of their holiday.

He’s just about to close his eyes and wallow for a little longer when more of his memories from last night start slowly fading in. Adam helping him get home. Adam taking him to bed. Adam kissing him on the cheek and telling him he hopes he’s brave enough to kiss him in the morning.

Fergus almost trips up in his haste to get up and he stops at the bathroom to brush his teeth before he goes to find Adam.

Adam has been awake for almost an hour, tidying up the cabin ready for when they check out. He’s desperately wanted to wake Fergus up, to find out if it was the drink talking or if he really did want to kiss him. But then he couldn’t decide if he actually wanted to know, or if he’d rather have a few extra minutes hopeful. Plus he assumed Fergus would be a little hungover, and an extra hour or so in bed wouldn’t hurt.

He hears a noise behind him and turns round to see Fergus standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “Hey.” Is all he can think of to say and he internally rolls his eyes at himself. Very smooth, Adam.

Fergus walks over to him, looking a mix of terrified and determined, and Adam holds his breath waiting to see what he’ll say. “I still want to kiss you.”

“Thank fuck for that.” Adam grins at him and reaches out to pull Fergus in. Their lips are millimetres apart when the doorbell goes.

They both pause.

“Fucking hell.” It had taken everything in Fergus to be brave, and he’s not sure he could do it again, despite the fact that he was encouraged by Adam’s mutual enthusiasm.

“Hold that thought.” Adam mutters as he reluctantly steps back from Adam and goes to the front door. A woman, wrapped up in a coat that’s almost completely white from the snow, is stood on the doorstep. Adam steps back so she can step inside.

“Hi, I’m Steph, the owner. I’ve just popped down to let you know the roads are closed and the trains are cancelled due to the snow.”

Adam would be lying if he said he’d even noticed it had snowed so much, having been preoccupied by thoughts of whether or not Fergus was going to kiss him for most of the morning. But now he looks out the front door and sees that it’s at least a foot deep.

“You’re not going to be able to get anywhere until at least boxing day, and the people who were supposed to be here over Christmas have had to cancel,” Steph continues, “so I wanted to offer you a couple of extra days, free of charge.”

“Thanks, that’s really good of you.” Adam glances up at Fergus, to check his reaction, but it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking.

“No problem. I’ve also brought you some frozen meals, because the pub doesn’t open on Christmas day.”

“Thanks.” Fergus finally seems to find his voice.

Steph hands the bag over to Adam and then says goodbye, leaving them her phone number in case they get really stuck.

Once she’s gone Adam puts the food in the freezer whilst Fergus hovers in the doorway, clearly back to being unsure.

Fergus can feel himself starting to freak out, and moves towards the bedroom, hoping being alone for a few minutes might help him, even though he knows it will probably just make it worse.

But Adam catches his arm as he leaves the room. “Hey.”

Fergus stops and turns around. Adam steps right into his personal space and Fergus doesn’t know whether he wants to kiss him or run away.

Adam reaches up and slides his fingers gently across Fergus’s jaw and then into his hair. He leans in but before he can kiss Fergus, Fergus blurts out, “I'm really messed up at the moment. I'm not in a good place for another relationship, but I don't do one night stands either."

Adam’s lips are almost touching his, and Fergus can feel as well as hear when Adam replies, "I can wait."

Fergus heart aches, and for the first time in months, it’s not in a bad way. He pauses for a few more seconds. "I don't want to wait."

And then they're kissing.

He’s fairly sure he closed the gap, but Adam immediately takes over the kiss, his grip on Fergus tightening as he angles Fergus just right to deepen the kiss. Fergus can’t remember the last time he was kissed like this, like Adam’s been desperate for this.

By the time they pause to catch their breath, Adam has got Fergus pushed up against the wall. He pushes his thigh between Fergus’s legs, swallowing the moan that Fergus let’s out. “Is this ok?” Adam mutters, moving his lips from Fergus’s to drag across his jaw until he’s sucking a bruise into Fergus’s throat.

Fergus tips his head to the side, moaning. “Yeah.” Fergus grips Adam’s hips and grinds against his thigh, already so worked up he can barely think let alone speak. “Very ok.”

Adam laughs, happily, against his skin, and Fergus thinks that might feel even better than the kisses.

But not quite as good as Adam grinding himself against Fergus’s hip. He can feel the heat of Adam through his jeans, and if Adam wasn’t pinning him to the wall he’d have dropped to his knees immediately. Instead he uses one hand to drag Adam back into a kiss, and the other to grip Adam’s hip, pulling him even closer.

“Adam.” Fergus whines, but he can’t bring himself to care. Adam doesn’t seem to mind either. “Adam, please.”

“What do you want?”

Everything. It sounds cliche, but he couldn’t imagine himself ever wanting this again, with anyone. And then Adam fell into his life and he feels like he can see in colour again. But he’s trying to keep himself slightly in check and not get ahead of himself, so he settles for, “Anything.”

It seems like it was the right answer, because the next thing he knows, Adam has pulled him away from the wall and manoeuvred them to the bedroom. He’s also managed to pull off his own shirt, and tugs Fergus’s shirt over his head before pushing them both down on the bed.

Fergus lets his hands drift all over the exposed skin of Adam’s back as they continue kissing. He spreads his legs so Adam can settle between them, and suddenly the friction is even more perfect than it was pushed up against the wall.

Adam would usually pride himself on having a little more finesse than dry humping, but with Fergus moaning underneath him, he’s struggling to remember why that would be when this feels so perfect. Although he must admit the tantalising feel of Fergus’s skin against his own does make him want to get Fergus completely naked, that would involve stopping, and he’s not sure he’s capable of that right now.

Besides, he thinks as he reaches down to grip Fergus’s hip tightly, they’re stuck here for a few days and he’s determined this won’t be there only chance to get each other naked. In fact, if Fergus is as keen as he is, which he’s fairly sure he might be, his Christmas plans have just become keep Fergus naked and in his bed.

Fergus pulls back from the kiss. “God, Adam, I’m really close.”

He’d been planning to at least try and get their jeans and boxers off, but the idea that Fergus could actually come just from this is probably top five on his list of hottest things and he suddenly wants nothing more than to see if he can actually make Fergus come in his jeans.

Adam kisses Fergus again and reaches between them to push a hand against Fergus, making him whine. “Adam, you’re going to make me…” He trails off, making a halfhearted attempt to push Adam’s hand away, despite moaning again.

Adam looks down at Fergus, who is beautifully flushed beneath him. “You’re so hot, Fergs. Could I make you come, just from this?”

It was sort of rhetorical, but Fergus answers by swearing and going taut as he comes in his jeans. It’s the hottest thing Adam’s ever seen and it takes him barely any time at all to thrust against Fergus’s thigh and follow him over the edge.

They collapse on the bed beside each other and for a while the only sound his their heavy breathing easing into something calmer.

Adam turns his head to look at Fergus. Fergus has his eyes closed and he’s smiling, although he looks as wrung out as Adam feels, and Adam finds he’s somewhat comforted by that.

Fergus opens his eyes and turns to look at Adam, smiling.

Adam grins back at him before grimacing slightly. “Sorry,” He shifts slightly as the haze of his orgasm fades, leaving him feeling sticky and uncomfortable. “I think I need a shower.”

Fergus laughs and nods, also shifting uncomfortably. “Yeah, me too.”

Adam rolls onto his side, so he can look at Fergus properly. “You could join me?”

Fergus feels his mouth go dry at the thought of seeing Adam wet again and actually being able to openly enjoy it, or even touch this time. He nods. “Yes, please.”

Adam sits up and reaches for Fergus’s belt. Aside from moving his hips, Fergus contributes nothing else towards Adam slowly finishing undressing him, but Adam doesn’t seem to mind. Instead he just drags Fergus’s jeans down and drops them onto the floor.

“God, you’re really fucking hot.”

Fergus wants to shake his head, because he thinks Adam must be mad to think so; he wants to return the compliment, because Adam is so gorgeous that now he’s letting himself admit it, it’s actually a little overwhelming how sexy Adam is; he wants to drag Adam off to the shower, because he needs to see him naked and wet as soon as possible.

But instead he just gasps as Adam leans down and nuzzles against the wet patch on his pants. It shouldn’t be possible for him to be getting hard again so quickly, and it certainly shouldn’t be as hot as it is watching Adam do this.

“Adam! What are you-” Fergus looks down at Adam, who is mouthing at the head of his cock through the damp material of his pants. At first he thinks it’s too much, that he wants Adam to stop. That’s definitely why he slides his fingers into Adam’s hair, so he can pull Adam away.

Except the second his fingers tighten in Adam’s hair, Adam moans and Fergus finds himself pulling Adam closer, rather than pushing him away. Fergus thrusts his hips forward against Adam’s mouth, going from not so sure about this to Jesus fucking Christ yes so quickly it makes his head spin.

Adam pulls back slightly and looks up at Fergus, his cheek and lips shiny where he’s mouthed against the sticky wetness of Fergus’s pants. Fergus thinks it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen in his life.

Adam watches Fergus a little longer and then drags his pants down so he can finally take Fergus in his mouth.

Fergus uses his grip on Adam’s hair to fuck his mouth a few times before he realises what he’s doing. He tries to loosen his grip in Adam’s hair, conscious that it’s probably painful, but Adam pulls back briefly to say, “Don’t stop.”

Fergus isn’t entirely sure he isn’t dreaming. But he wants to make the most of this anyway. He strokes his fingers through Adam’s hair a few times, and then he tightens his grip again and pulls Adam’s mouth back down onto him.

He has to close his eyes as Adam swallows him down, but he can’t keep them shut for long as his need to watch Adam outweighs his desperation for this to last just a little bit longer. Adam wants this so much, and that knowledge makes Fergus feel dizzy. He can’t remember the last time anyone wanted him like this. He hates himself for comparing, but when Adam looks up at him and somehow manages to smirk, despite the fact that his mouth is otherwise occupied, he can’t help but realise Toby never looked at him like that, even in the beginning.

Fergus reaches down and runs his thumb across Adam’s lower lip, and Adam moans around his cock. “Christ, Adam, look at you.” Fergus has never been vocal in bed, but with Adam he just can’t seem to stop himself. “You’re so fucking good at this.”

Adam wishes he’d taken his own jeans off, because he’s embarrassingly close to coming again just from the weight of Fergus’s cock against his tongue. Fergus is looking down at him like he can’t believe this is real, and Adam knows the feeling. He’s had a lot of sex, but he’s never wanted someone like he wants Fergus. He’ll probably have to think about that, at some point, but he pushes that thought, and the small amount of panic it elicited, to the back of his mind.

Any remnants of panic are pushed from his mind when Fergus pulls him off his cock, panting. “I’m close. Can I…?”

God Adam wants this, but he’s still a bastard. He grins at Fergus. “Can you what?” He asks coolly, like he’s not seconds from begging Fergus to come down his throat.

Fergus flushes. Beautifully, Adam’s brain supplies before he can silence it. “Can I come in your mouth?” Fergus finally asks.

Adam doesn’t answer verbally, he just takes Fergus back into his mouth. A few seconds later Fergus cries out and Adam swallows around him as he comes.

Fergus pushes Adam away, gently but firmly. That was amazing but he’s so sensitive.

He looks down at Adam and he feels arousal still fizzy through his body, despite the fact he’s 100% done for at least a few hours. Adam is laying on the bed, looking up at Fergus. His pupils are wide with arousal, his lips shiny with spit and his cheeks are flushed.

Fergus reaches down to stroke Adam’s lower lip with his thumb and his heart flutters happily when Adam closes his eyes, leaning into the touch. And then Adam closes his lips around Fergus’s thumb, and the moment goes from sweet to charged again. It also reminds Fergus that Adam is probably fairly desperate to come, if the way he was grinding his hips against the bed as he sucked Fergus off was anything to go by.

Fergus pulls his hand away and sits up. He reaches for the button on Adam’s jeans but is surprised when Adam stops him. “Could we do that in the shower?”

Fergus nods, realising that however sticky and gross he feels, Adam, still in his jeans and pants, probably feels worse. He gets up and holds his hand out to Adam. “Come on then.”

He keeps hold of Adam’s hand a pulls him towards the bathroom, eagerly.

—

They make some lunch once they’ve finally left the shower. Fergus had been slightly worried that once the initial desperation wore off things might feel a little awkward but he’s pleasantly surprised to find it isn’t. He watches Adam making coffees to go with their sandwiches, and finds himself exceptionally glad about the snow.

They make plans to go for a walk after lunch.

It takes them slightly longer than planned to leave the cabin after Adam gets distracted as he ties his scarf around Fergus’s neck, and ends up snogging Fergus up against the wall for ten minutes.

It doesn’t go anywhere, it’s just kissing for the sake of it and Fergus gets that flutter again. They grin at each other as they finally leave the cabin. Has he ever felt like this before?

—

They do manage to keep their hands off each other long enough to enjoy a walk in the snow, and when they get back they light the fire on in a bid to warm up.

The tiny sofa that Adam hated so much on his his first night here doesn’t seem so bad when Fergus is sat beside him.

“Will this mess up your Christmas plans?” Adam asks.

Fergus shakes his head. “I was on my own for Christmas. I-” He feels a little awkward talking about Toby in front of Adam now, but he figures he’s already told Adam the worst bits, and he still seems to want him. “I was supposed to be skiing with Toby and some of his friends. My mum and dad have gone away with my sister and her family. When the whole thing with Toby came to a head, they offered to cancel, but the last thing I needed was to feel guilty about that too.”

Adam squeezes Fergus’s thigh softly. “I fucking hate skiing.”

Fergus snorts. He looks at Adam and grins at him. “So do I.”

Adam returns the grin, but then it softens into a smile. “I am sorry, about everthing that happened.” He takes a deep breath. He never does this, but despite only knowing Fergus for a few days, it feels important to say it anyway. “But I’m really glad we both ended up here.”

Fergus looks surprised for a few seconds, before he leans in to kiss Adam. It’s more gentle than the kisses they’ve shared up until now, but Adam thinks it might be his favourite so far. “Yeah, me too.”

—

Fergus wants to stay up all night with Adam, but his hangover, and the general excitement of the day, has left him sleepy. By 10.30pm he’s yawning into his book at Adam nudges him gently.

“Shall we go to bed?”

Fergus nods through a yawn and let’s Adam help him off the sofa.

They fall into bed and Adam pulls Fergus against him. Fergus leans in to kiss Adam again but he’s interrupted by another yawn.

“Sleep.” Adam insists, laughing when Fergus pouts.

Fergus settles his head against Adam’s chest and let’s his steady breathing lull him to sleep.

Chapter Text

When Adam wakes up in the morning, Fergus has rolled over and Adam is once again cuddled up behind him. His first instinct is to move away, until he remembers the events of yesterday. He figures Fergus probably won’t object, so he tightens his arms around him and places a kiss on the back of Fergus’s neck.

Fergus shifts back against him, still fast asleep, and Adam’s heart thuds in his chest. He figures he should probably panic about this, but laying here with Fergus in his arms, his warm skin against him, he’s finding the bit of his brain that usually freaks out about this kind of thing is blissfully silenced.

Fergus slowly blinks awake as he feels kisses being pressed across his shoulder. Adam. He lays still, to enjoy it, but Adam must sense he’s awake because he pulls away to mutter, “Good morning.”

Fergus stretches, pushing himself even closer to Adam. “Yeah, it really is.”

He both feels and hears Adam laugh behind him. Adam kisses his neck again. “And merry Christmas.”

Fergus had sort of forgotten it was Christmas. It feels Christmassy, to be snowed in. But with everything that’s happened the last few days, he sort of feels like Christmas could have just passed him by and he wouldn’t have noticed. “Merry Christmas.” He replies, moving his head to encourage Adam to keep sucking kisses into the soft skin of his neck. “Got anything you want to do today?”

“Mmm,” Adam replies, “You.”

Fergus is pretty sure he can get on board with that. “I think that could be arranged. Anything else?”

“Hot tub?”

Also an excellent idea. Fergus summons a little bravery. “Maybe we could combine those two things?”

Adam moans behind him and he must still be sleepy, because before he can stop himself, he presses his lips back to Fergus’s warm skin and mutters, “You’re a little bit perfect, you know.”

Fergus feels the butterflies he’s had since waking up intensify. He’s not sure anyone has ever described him as perfect before and he tries not to put too much stock into Adam’s drowsy compliment. Before he can overthink it too much, Adam moves away from him and sits up.

“I need the loo, then I’ll make some coffee, if you’d like?”

Fergus looks up at him and nods. He waits until Adam leaves the bathroom before using it himself. He’d quite like to do nothing but stay in bed with Adam all day, so he takes the opportunity to brush his teeth too.

When he gets back Adam is sitting in bed, sipping a cup of coffee, looking so out of place in any bed that Fergus has ever slept in that Fergus has to resist the urge to pinch himself. He gets back into bed and takes a sip of almost too hot coffee instead.

He’s about to speak when his phone rings, and he almost doesn’t dare look at it. “It’s my mum.” He breathes a sigh of relief before he realises he’s going to have to try and explain what’s happened to his mum. “I’d better get this.” He scrambles out of bed, grabbing his pyjama trousers that he hadn’t bothered with last night as he leaves the room.

Adam can’t help but smile at the sight of Fergus tugging on his trousers with one hand and answering the phone with the other. He waits until Fergus closes the door behind him before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. You’re a little bit perfect, you know. What is it about Fergus that seems to have turned off his carefully curated filter? It sounds cliched, and he has no intention of saying it aloud, but he doesn’t think he has ever met anyone he has just clicked with like this before. It should scare him. It does kind of scare him. He has ghosted people for less feelings than he is having right now, but none of those experiences felt anything like this.

They probably do need to talk about this, but for now he is determined to just enjoy it. They are stuck here until at least tomorrow, so he will try and keep it contained to their own little bubble for just a little longer. He cannot hear Fergus speaking anymore, so he gets dressed and heads out to the kitchen.

Adam finds Fergus stood looking out of the back door. He walks up and wraps his arms around Fergus, enjoying feeling him jump slightly and then relax back against him. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah.” Fergus tips his head back against Adam’s shoulder, enjoying the contact. “Mum was just ringing to wish me a happy Christmas. I told her about this. Well, about the double booking and getting snowed in, anyway.” He feels Adam laugh.

“I think at first she was a bit worried about me being stuck in an airbnb over Christmas with a complete stranger.” Fergus continues.

Adam hums. “Makes sense. I hope you were able to put her mind at rest.”

Fergus nods. “I told her that you are a total prick but amazing in bed.”

Adam laughs out loud and pinches Fergus’s side. Fergus tries to squirm away, laughing breathlessly. “I’m joking! I told her you seem like a really great guy.” Fergus is quiet for a few seconds before continuing, his tone more serious, although Adam can’t see his face. “I told her I’d been able to open up to you, and that you’d helped. That I’m feeling the happiest I’ve felt in a long time.”

Adam feels a bit like someone has sucked all the air out of the room. He doesn’t really trust himself to speak, so he just mutters, “Good. I’m glad.” He tightens his arms around Fergus as they look out at the snow.

—

“So what would you usually do on Christmas day?” Fergus asks as he looks through the frozen meals Steph left them yesterday.

“Nothing, really.” Fergus looks over at Adam, who just shrugs. “What? It’s just never really been a big deal. If I’m seeing someone I might spend the day with them, but it’s mostly just another day. What about you?” Adam asks. “What would your normal Christmas day look like?”

Fergus opens his mouth and then pauses. The last few years have been all about what Toby wanted to do, which meant skiing holidays, or staying with friends. “Er, holidays or seeing friends mostly.” He still finds it a bit awkward to talk about Toby with Adam. “Toby liked to be busy during the holidays, and he wasn’t really one for family Christmases.”

There is a brief flicker of annoyance across Adam’s features, but it is gone so quickly Fergus isn’t sure if he has imagined it. Adam walks over to Fergus and kisses him. “Ok, so what would your ideal Christmas look like?”

Fergus smiles. “I’d spend it at my mum and dad’s, with my sister and her kids too. They’re five and seven, so they love Christmas. It’s loud, and busy, just like when I was younger.”

Adam smiles back at him. “That sounds nice.”

Fergus raises an eyebrow at him. “Even to the man who sounds like he hates Christmas?”

Adam rolls his eyes, but he is smiling. “Ok, it sounds awful to me. But if it makes you happy, that should be all that matters.”

Fergus is looking at him like he has said something wonderful, and he is not sure if he wants to run away, or to keep finding ways of making Fergus look at him like that. Either way, he definitely doesn’t think he deserves it, so he gently changes the subject. “Did you pick something for lunch?”

Fergus looks back down at the freezer. “There’s a lasagne. Not exactly traditional, but this isn’t a normal Christmas.” Fergus pulls it out of the freezer and hands it to Adam. “I’m not in the least bit hungry yet though.”

Adam puts it in the fridge before closing both the doors. He turns back to Fergus and crowds him against the counter. He leans in close to Fergus’s ear. “I’m not hungry for food…” He sucks a kiss against Fergus’s jaw. Fergus moans and Adam loves how reactive he is.

Adam makes Fergus feel bold. “Maybe we could start the hot tub up?”

Adam pulls back and grins at Fergus. “It’s like you read my mind.”

—

It is so cold outside they do rock, paper, scissors to decide who actually has to go outside to clear the hot tub lid and set the temperature. Adam loses, again, so he makes sure to flick some snow at Fergus as he heads outside. When he has cleared enough snow off the lid that he can finally lift it, the water temperature is only reading 17 degrees. There is no chance of him getting in at that temperature, no matter how much he wants to get Fergus naked and wet. He sets the temperature to a more palatable 37 degrees and puts the lid down again.

When he goes back inside Fergus hands him a hot cup of coffee, and his heart definitely doesn’t skip. “The water is pretty cold. We might have to find something else to do first, and then do the hot tub a little later.” He says, letting the warmth from the mug seep into his cold fingers.

Fergus glances at his watch. It is too early to even think about lunch. “What about a film? I know you hate sitting still for more than ten minutes, but I’m sure you could make an exception for a Christmas film?”

Adam thinks about sitting on that too small sofa with Fergus, wrapped in a blanket, watching a Christmas film he pretends to hate. I could make an exception for you, he thinks.

He nods, not quite trusting the confession not to come spilling out of him if he opens his mouth.

Fergus grins and picks up the remote control from the table. He takes the empty mug from Adam and passes him the remote. “You pick something, I’ll make another coffee.”

—

It is only mid-morning but Fergus can feel his eyes drifting shut as they watch Home Alone. Fergus had clocked Adam lingering on A Muppet’s Christmas Carol, which he kindly does not mention. But he does plan to choose that one when it is his turn.

They are definitely not cuddling, but the sofa is so small it sort of makes sense for Adan to rest his arm on the back of the sofa, and for Fergus to be pressed against his side. Fergus’s eyes drift shut and the last thing he remembers is Adam pulling the blanket up around him.

When he wakes, his head is resting on Adam’s shoulder and his arm is wrapped around Adam’s waist. He is quite happy where he is, but he is vaguely worried what Adam will think. He is about to move away when he realises that Adam’s arm is wrapped around him too, which leads him to conclude Adam must not mind this either.

“If you didn’t want to watch Home Alone, you could have just said.”

Fergus jumps slightly when Adam speaks, so caught up in his own anxiety he had assumed Adam was asleep too. “I did want to watch it. Sorry.” He sits up slightly to look at Adam and finds Adam looking down at him fondly.

“I’m just winding you up.”

Before Fergus can respond, Adam has cupped Fergus’s cheek and pulled him into a kiss. It is less frantic than some of the others they have shared over the last 24 hours, but the intensity of it sends a wave of warmth through Fergus’s body that has nothing to do with the blanket still covering him. Before he can really take stock of what he is doing, he is scrambling to straddle Adam.

There is no way the sofa is big enough for them to do anything more than kiss, but considering Fergus is really hoping to fuck Adam in the hot tub soon, he reluctantly concedes that the lack of space might not be a bad thing. Besides, it doesn’t mean they can’t have fun, he thinks as he grinds against Adam’s lap.

Adam tips his head back and grips Fergus’s hips tightly. All he can do is helplessly thrust up against Fergus, as Fergus sucks a bruising kiss onto his neck, biting just the right side of painful.

After a few minutes Fergus pulls back, putting a hand on Adam’s chest when he tries to chase his lips. “Think the hot tub has heated up yet?”

Adam stops struggling to reach Fergus’s mouth and instead starts frantically trying to help Fergus stand up. “Yeah, warm enough!” He says as he tries to untangle the blanket from their legs.

When they are finally free he nudges Fergus towards the bedroom. “You get changed first. I’ll check the water.”

Fergus rolls his eyes and laughs. “You’ve seen me naked by now, Adam.”

Adam steps closer to him and kisses him again. “I know. But if you take your clothes off in front of me right now, there’s no way we’re going to make it to the hot tub.”

Fergus looks totally stunned by Adam’s admission, his pupils wide and cheeks flushed. “Oh.” He smiles, unable to hide his enjoyment of Adam’s admission.

Adam just nudges him towards the bedroom again, and this time Fergus goes, only tripping over his own feet slightly. Adam checks the temperature and whilst it is not quite 37 degrees, it’s close enough. He goes back inside and switches off the TV.

Fergus comes out of the bedroom in his shorts, holding a towel. “Go get in.” Adam says, just managing to resist the urge to skip the hot tub and drag Fergus straight to bed. “I’ll be out in a bit.”

Adam gets changed, and then grabs the lube and a condom from the box in his bag. He has never been more grateful that he never remembers to take them out of his travel bag than he is right now.

It is so cold outside and he is glad when he finally steps into the hot tub. Fergus takes his hand and pulls him over to where he’s seated, tugging him onto his lap in a reversal of their positions on the sofa. Fergus feels even better wet and with minimal clothes on.

Fergus wraps one arm around Adam’s waist, pulling him close. He can feel that Adam is just as hard as he is. He reaches up with the other hand to hold Adam’s jaw, pulling him into a kiss that he hopes matches the intensity that Adam kissed him with a few minutes ago. He thinks it might do, if the way Adam moans and grinds against him is anything to go by.

“God, Fergus. I need you to fuck me.”

Fergus pulls back from the kiss to nod. “Yeah, I want that.” He slides the hand that’s resting on Adam’s lower back down to tug on the waistband of Adam’s shorts. “Off.” Adam laughs breathlessly so Fergus adds, “Please.”

Fergus begging does something to Adam so he stands up and loses the shorts as quickly as he can. He helps Fergus drag his own shorts down before straddling Fergus again.

Fergus’s hand slides down Adam’s back again, and without the barrier of his shorts, he keeps going until his fingers brush across Adam’s entrance. Adam whines and kisses Fergus to try and silence the noise.

“Is this ok?” Fergus mumbles against Adam’s lips.

Adam can only nod. Fergus adds just a little more pressure and revels in the noises Adam makes. He reaches to grab the lube he saw Adam place on the shelf. He coats his fingers with copious amounts, hoping that some of it will survive the water. It must work because when he presses his fingers against Adam again his finger slides inside.

“Christ, Adam.” Fergus fingers Adam slowly, letting him get used to it before he reapplies the lube and pushes two fingers inside him. “You’re perfect.” He mutters against Adam’s throat as he slowly opens him up. “I could just keep doing this forever.”

Adam lets out a moan and pushes back against Fergus’s fingers. There’s something about facing Fergus as they do this that makes it even more intimate, and he only just manages to stop himself saying please do. He’s not really sure where the urge comes from. He’s never met anyone he has wanted forever, not even people he’s known for months. But suddenly there is this guy that he’s only known for five days who has turned his world upside down. He gasps again as Fergus twists his fingers. Fergus is pulling him apart in every way and all he can do is hold on.

“Fergus, I’m ready.” Adam kisses Fergus again. “Please fuck me.”

Fergus shakes his head. “One more.” He pulls out to add more lube, ignoring Adam’s complaints. Adam’s complaints turn to begging as Fergus slowly fucks him with three fingers.

Fergus isn’t entirely sure where his restraint is coming from, and the next time Adam says he is ready, Fergus is desperate enough to believe him. He encourages Adam to move off his lap momentarily so that he can stand up and put the condom on. He’s actually quite glad of the cold air to take the edge off slightly.

Once he has coated himself liberally with lube he pulls Adam back onto his lap and lines himself up. “Ready?”

“About ten minutes ago, yeah.” Adam’s snark is somewhat lessened by how breathless he sounds.

Fergus rolls his eyes. “Excuse me for wanting to make sure you were well prepped.” But then he slides inside Adam, effectively silencing whatever Adam was about to respond with. “Adam, you feel so good.”

Adam pants against Fergus’s shoulder. Fergus had prepped him well, and there was a surprising amount of lube considering they were doing this in a hot tub, but the stretch was still overwhelming.

“Are you ok?” Fergus asks when he is finally fully inside Adam.

“Yeah. Just give me a minute.” Adam waits until the stretch is more of a pleasurable ache than a sting before moving his hips slightly, grinning when Fergus swears. “Ok, I’m ready.”

Fergus holds Adam’s hips and pulls out before pushing back in. Adam had expected it to be frantic, but the water forces them to keep the pace slow, which Adam would never admit but he prefers.

And where he can’t do hard, Fergus makes up for with accuracy and Adam bites his lip to hold back the moan that tries to escape. His thrusts are slow but firm, building an intensity Adam can feel in his whole body. “There’s no one around, Adam.”

“Huh?” Adam cannot concentrate, the sex leaving his mind blissfully empty.

“I want to hear you.” Fergus punctuates that sentence with a particularly firm thrust that makes Adam see stars. He doesn’t recall making a noise, but he must have because Fergus is panting against his neck muttering, “Yeah, just like that.”

Adam is just starting to wonder if he could come without being touched when Fergus finally takes pity on him. Or maybe he is just much closer to coming than he would like to admit. Fergus wraps a hand around Adam, who immediately tips his head back and comes, with Fergus following close behind him.

They cling to each other a little bit longer before Adam has to move. “Sorry, I’m freezing.” He climbs off Fergus’s lap so he can get his shoulders back under the water but he sits closely pressed against Fergus’s side.

Fergus coughs, suddenly feeling a bit self conscious. “Sorry if that was… You know, the water makes it hard to-”

Adam cuts him off with a kiss. “It was fucking brilliant. But we’ve got all day if you’d like to have another go in a bed this time. You know, for comparison purposes.”

Fergus laughs, relaxing again. “I’m sure you take your research really seriously.”

“Oh, absolutely. It’s important to get things from all angles.”

Fergus smiles, enjoying the easy back and forth they’ve developed. He’s about to speak again when Adam continues. “Good research can take months, you know, even years.”

Fergus looks over at him, and there’s a flush on his cheeks that wasn’t there before and he’s not actually looking at Fergus as he speaks. He is almost certain they’re not actually talking about journalism. He wants to say something back that is profound, or romantic, or at least something that doesn’t make him sound like a total idiot. But in the end all he can do is smile softly at Adam and pull him into a kiss. “That’s really good to know.”