Chapter Text

The portal

When the sun rose on the horizon, clarity came like an epiphany. This was it, the moment she’d been preparing for.

It should gave gone smoothly enough … She had accepted it, even threatened Giles, her mentor, of death should he hurt Dawn. She had been ready to relinquish life, to die for her little sister, to keep her safe. There had been tears, of course, but also newfound clarity as she contemplated the future swan dive that would save her friends, and the world from the evil portal that threatened to swallow them all.

It should have been a poignant moment, the ultimate sacrifice, done out of love, and, if Buffy was honest with herself, weariness as well.

For the Slayer was weary. Exhausted, even, for all those years of fighting, of suffering in a world that did not recognise her worth. In contemplating her death, she had found a sliver of hope; the hope that peace would greet her at the end of the road. That maybe her death could offer the solace she was dearly missing in her own existence. That solace wrenched from her as her mother died.

Throughout years of battles, Joyce had been her lifeline. Her ultimate refuge to return to, her joy. To suddenly become the head of her house, Dawn’s guardian with the safety net of a loving mother was too much.

Buffy hoped that, by her sacrifice, she would be rewarded by a peaceful break.

A part of her felt selfish, especially when she told Dawn that the hardest thing in this world was … to live in it. Another part; giddy, euphoric even. It was a highly mystical energy that followed her when she leapt from the high tower. Lights of all kinds in the sky, and an even greater circle that swirled beneath her, awaiting to engulf her in its depth.

Would it hurt ?

As the first lightning strokes licked at her body, Buffy couldn’t contain a cry of agony. She expected many more would follow, and steeled herself for death’s embrace.

This is how it should have gone. She, the portal closing, and her heart clenching before it stopped altogether. Then, rideau.

But one could never count on Dawn to follow the script. Bratty in life, bratty in death, the one she’d called little sister for no more than a year could not handle to be the cause of her pain. And thus, erasing the entire worth of the ultimate sacrifice had just made, she jumped on Buffy’s tail into the portal.

No !

The Slayer’s eyes opened wide, helpless to aid her little sister as another arc assaulted her senses and fried her brain. She couldn’t even scream her rage, wrath rising beneath her ribcage at the idea that, once more, Dawn had managed to trample the result of a tremendous effort. Of a life changing decision that should have left her a hero, and saved the world.

She would die for nothing.

To the very end, Dawn has been her downfall.

A vicious wave of dark magic collided with her body, and Buffy greeted darkness with relief. For the first time of her Slayer life, there was nothing more she could do. The world’s fate was out of her hands. Dawn’s fate, her own.

And so, when the whole world went blank, the Slayer accepted defeat and yielded.

But no body ever touched the ground at the feet of the tower.

Of Buffy and Dawn, nothing remained when the portal closed.