Chapter Text
Nico grasped his ears. Voices rung in his head as he boarded the Hogwarts Express. It was his fourth year of Hogwarts but he still hated the train ride and the beginning feast and the hallways.
Too loud.
Everything was too loud.
He also knew that he didn’t belong at Hogwarts. Everyone whispered when he passed. Somehow they knew his backstory, and who his parents were. All those Daily Prophet headings echoed in his mind.
—di Angelos, Guilty Ex-Death Eaters?—
“Neighbors have reported screaming and yelling and loud sounds throughout the day, coming from the di Angelo household…”
—Bianca di Angelo, Dead by Brothers Hand?—
“Bianca di Angelo, age 10, was found dead when Aurors came to investigate the di Angelo house. Only her brother, Niccolo di Angelo, age 8, was home at the time…”
—Hades di Angelo, Arrested for Child Abuse and Neglect—
“Aurors have come to a conclusion that Hades di Angelo, father to Bianca and Niccolo di Angelo and wife to Maria di Angelo, should be arrested. “Nico was put under the orders of Hades to kill his sister, I think. From what I’ve gotten in the interrogation, Nico was abused and forced to do horrible things.” Reports Auror and ‘The Chosen One’ Harry Potter….”
—Maria di Angelo, Found, Dead, after Husbands Imprisonment?—
“Only two months after Hades di Angelo’s death, Maria di Angelo was found dead. The only other person in the house was Nicćolo and their house-Cat. Was this death at the fault of the last remaining di Angelo? Just how he was supposedly guilty of his sisters?…”
—All di Angelo’s Dead, One Missing—
“The mysterious case of the di Angelo’s comes to an abrupt close as the whole ex-Death Eater family is dead. The last remaining one, Nicćolo di Angelo, went missing after authorities came to take him to a foster home. “[H]e just disappeared! Stepped into a sh-shadow and poof! Gone!” Claims a bedraggled investigator. What ever happened at the di Angelo’s? What caused all their deaths? No one will ever know…”
Nico found an empty apartment and threw himself inside. He shut the door and let out a breath.
Quiet.
Finally.
He put up his luggage and sat down on the seat.
Head no longer ringing, Nico put in earbuds and played soft, classical music (the kind his sister would always play) to calm his mind.
Out the corner of his eye, Nico saw the compartment door open. He turned to see someone, they were rapidly speaking, a light frown on their face. But Nico couldn’t hear a word, and when they realized that they crossed their arms and waited.
Nico took out an earbud, “sorry?”
“Nico! You can’t run away from us so easily!” The guy exclaimed.
He had eyes that reminded Nico of the ocean. Actually, his whole aesthetic did. It was the sixth year, Percy Jackson. One of the extremely odd friends he made last year. They also happened to be the famous Gryffindor Quidditch Team (The Seven). He didn’t really want to be friends with them, but they saw the little emo kid last year in the corner and took him in as their own. He didn’t protest, but he also didn’t say he liked it. Which he did, but he’d rather die than admit it. Besides, being apart of the big friend group helped him keep an eye on his sister, Hazel. He was a little over protective when it came to her.
“Whatever,” Nico grumbled.
“C’mon, we got room in our apartment for one more!”
“Percy, the apartments are meant for six people at most! Not eight.”
“Neither are they one,” Percy retorted back.
Nico rolled his eyes, “can I at least get a wink of alone-time?”
“Hm…” an idea sparkled in Percy’s eyes— which was never a good thing, “oh alright!”
A smile on his face, Percy ran off.
Nico sighed and waited for an explosion, sirens or literally anything to go off. When they didn’t he shrugged and put back an earbud.
The music filled his ears again as he stared out at the world flying by.
The compartment door opened again. A girl with long black hair entered while a girl with chocolate skin and bushy caramel hair followed.
“Hi Nico!” Hazel smiled.
“Hi…” Nico grumbled.
Hazel Levesque and Reyna Ramírez-Arellano sat opposite him. Hazel was Nico’s half sister, he didn’t really understand how or when his father had had her but he was grateful for another sister. Especially after the incident…
Reyna was friends with Percy and all the other people who took him and said ‘he’s mine’. Nico always had a strong respect for Reyna since she was always so much more responsible and orderly than the rest. She was constantly nominated the ‘grownup’ of the group.
“How was your summer?” Hazel asked.
Nico shrugged.
Truth be it he had spent his summer on the streets, like always. He had money so he wasn’t struggling, he just liked it. He felt more free than in a foster home. Plus, it helped with his trauma, being outside rather than in; he got claustrophobic very easily.
“Why don’t ya wanna come into our compartment?” Reyna asked.
Another thing Nico liked about Reyna: she didn’t pry and treated everything and took everyone seriously. So if he didn’t respond she would change the subject.
Only if the rest of his dumb friends would take the hint..
He shrugged, “their chaotic.”
Hazel laughed. The wind-chime like sound filled Nico’s ears and made him feel a fierce, protective, love for his sister.
That happened a lot, it was a feeling he couldn’t explain. Like he couldn’t ever let Hazel go and loved it when he was near her. He had lost so much that he knew he was clingy but would never admit it.
“Yes! I guess so!” She exclaimed.
Nico grimaced at her loud tone, and immediately felt bad about it. It’s just…his voice…rung in his ears…loud…his sisters screams…loud. Loud, loud, loud. Screaming, screaming. Save Bianca! Save Bianca! SAVE-SA-BIANCA-BIANCA- HELP- SALVA-
“Nico!? Nico!!”
Loud voice. LOUD VOICE, HELP-BIANCA! Help MAMMA! AIUTARLA-
“Hey there. I’m William. But everyone calls me Will. You’re Nico, right? I’m training to be a doctor so I basically train to handle panic attacks. You’d be surprised how many patients have them!” A soft voice echoes in his ear, muffling his roaring wave-like thoughts, “can you breathe? I would really like it if you just took a few breaths. Could you do that for me?”
For some reason Nico listened. He heard exaggerated breathing by his ear and tried his best to match his to it.
“There you go! Look at you! You’re doing great!” The boy continued, Nico could practically hear the smile in his voice, “So, I’m pretty excited for Quidditch, are you? I’ve seen you before, you’re also a fourth year, yeah? I play at home, but no one could ever beat the Seven, eh? I wouldn’t even think about trying out for Gryffindor!
“Anyway, I hate Transfiguration! Isn’t it just so…confusing? Ugh! Charms is my favorite, personally. Literally, we say funny words, wave a stick and bam! sumthin’ cool happens! I also like Herbology, the plants have really cool healing properties! Way better than the muggles have!”
“Will, I think he’s alright now, can you stop talking your head off?” Scoffs a new voice.
“Huh? Oh right,” he laughed softly, the sound sounding like happy music in Nico’s ears. Wait, where the heck did that thought come from!? “D’you think you could open your eyes? And sit up? And talk?”
Nico peeked an eye open (when did he screw them shut?). He realized he was scrunched into a ball in the corner of the compartment. His hands were still shaking a little bit and his face felt damp with dry tears.
He wiped his eyelids and sat up.
The boy who was talking to his stood in front of him. He had tanned skin and a bush of yellow hair. Freckles framed his blue eyes.
Reyna and Hazel sat behind him, eyes glistening with fear. Hazel’s with guilt.
Nico groaned inwardly as he realized he’d just had a stupid panic attack in front of his sister and his friend and a hot dude-
…
And a dude who he vaguely remembered and what looked to be his friend with a shock of bright green hair.
“What happened?” He asked, then flinched at the sound of his raspy, hoarse voice.
“I dunno…I think-I think I was too loud and you started to spiral…and then a panic attack hit ‘ya. Will walked by, saw what was happening and rushed into help…” Hazel blurted, “thanks a lot by the way, I dunno what we would’ve done without you…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Will smiled sympathetically.
Reyna nodded her own thanks.
Nico sighed, “I’m…so sorry. I shoulda-“
“Nope, stop right there mister,” Reyna snapped, “I know you. You’re gonna say that you shoulda bottled up your feelings and spared us from witnessing them. You can’t control it, Neeks. You can’t. And we don’t mind one bit, we’re here to help.”
Nico’s heart fluttered with joy when she called him Neeks. Only one person ever called him that, but that person was dead. And said it in a different language but still…he liked it.
Instead of answering Reyna, he stood up.
“I need to…get fresh air.”
He stumbled past Will and his friend (sister? They looked a little alike?) and rushed out of the compartment. He stalked to the end of the train and opened the door to the car that was basically a balcony at the end of the train.
He wasn’t a train expert so he had no idea what it was called.
He breathed in the rush of wind that whipped his hair back. He bathed in it. It felt cleansing and fresh, like jumping in a pool on an 100 degree day.
His air-time was interrupted by footsteps behind him. He didn’t look back, because he could basically sense who the newcomer was.
“Hey,” Will joined him at the edge of the railing.
Nico nodded in acknowledgment to his arrival.
Silence—Nico couldn’t tell if it was comfortable or awkward—passed as they both watched the world fly past in a whirl of green and blue.
“Thanks for…”
“Yeah, it’s no problem. You wanna talk about it?”
Nico shook his head.
That was the last thing he ever wanted to do. Especially since all his friends didn’t know about his past, supposedly never read the articles. Or maybe they just chose to forget?
“S’alright. It helps for some people, others not so much,” Will shrugged, “you are a fourth year, right?”
Nico nodded, “Nico di Angelo, at your service.”
“…di Angelo…? Why is that so familiar-“
Nico sighed.
This was the moment where they all loose their pity, it being replaced by fear, as they remember the article names and the rumors…
“Do you have a familiar member who wrote a book?” Will asked, face screwed up in thought.
Nico shook his head.
“No? Huh. Ah well, doesn’t matter. Sometimes I go a little loopy!”
“WILL, COME ON, AUSTIN IS WAITING!!” Yelled a muffled voice as someone banged on the door to the inside part of the train.
“Ugh, that’d be my sister Kayla, with the green hair. I better get going.. see you later, Nico!”
Nico was too lost in his own world of amazement to realize that there was a loud, banging noise that should have scared him.
Will hadn’t remembered…?
Woah.
After a while, Nico took a deep breath. He made his way out the back and into the inside part of the train. The halls were empty, but the compartments filled with laughing friends, kissing couples and bickering siblings. He wished he could be in their place.
But he knew, friends leave and people grow old. And he remembered his promise to himself: he would never love anyone again. Love brings hurt. Love brings sacrifice and Nico had sacrificed enough. He wasn’t ever going to be that lost child in a big world again. All because love took advantage of him.