Chapter Text
The illuminated streets were bustling, the air laden with December's cold, though it felt comfortable on the skin. Izuku walked home at a slow pace, lost in thought. Despite the pleasant reunion with the friends he'd made over the years, something had been bothering him since he left the restaurant. Or maybe it was someone.
Katsuki.
The glances he threw while Izuku was distracted, the words spoken in a tone lower than usual, and that unusual silence after Izuku declined to visit his agency during the car ride... It was strange. Not bad, just different. Izuku wondered if something else was bothering him. He always had an almost instinctive ability to sense when something was wrong with Katsuki, even if Katsuki never admitted that anything was.
"Deku?"
From afar, Ochaco’s familiar voice pulled him out of his trance. He turned around, surprised to see her walking out of a café with a briefcase in hand. Her smile, as always, was lovely—warm and inviting.
"Uraraka-san! What a coincidence seeing you here," Izuku called, immediately running to her.
"Yeah, I thought you'd already be home," she said, as Izuku settled beside her. "I just wanted to grab something warm to take back, but it seems like we're heading the same way. Care to join me? I've been wanting to talk to you anyway."
"Sure," he replied, adjusting his blazer.
They began walking together, their initial conversation light. They talked about hero work, memories of their time at U.A., and how life seemed to have changed so much over the years, yet somehow not enough. There was something comforting about being with Ochaco. She always had a way of making things simpler.
"You've been pretty busy lately, haven't you?" she asked suddenly.
"Ah, a little. But I guess everyone is, right? It's part of being a hero," he replied with a smile.
"True," she said, laughing. "I've been so caught up with the project that it's hard to find time to meet up like this. I miss when we could see each other more often. You and I hardly talk anymore."
Izuku paused to think about it. She was right. Despite being close friends, their routines had pulled them apart more than he liked to admit. "I miss that too. It's nice being able to talk like this, without any rush."
"Deku-kun," she began, stopping in her tracks and turning to face him, "can I be honest with you about something?"
"Of course," Izuku replied. There was an unexpected weight in the air that usually wasn’t there between them.
Ochaco took a deep breath, gripping the handle of her briefcase more tightly. "I like you. More than just a friend. Actually, I think I've always liked you."
Her confession hung in the air, and Izuku blinked, blushing and surprised.
"Uraraka-san, I... I didn’t know. I never realized that—" He opened his mouth to respond, but she raised a hand, stopping him.
"I know," she continued, with a now-melancholic smile. "I know you've probably never thought of me that way, and that's okay. I'm not telling you this to make you uncomfortable or anything like that. I just... I thought you deserved to know, and I deserved to finally put an end to these feelings I've held for so long."
"But, Uraraka-san, I—"
"I know," she said again, her voice soft. "You've always been focused on other things. On your goals, on helping others, just like I’ve been, even though I was torn between these feelings. You've also always been focused on... maybe someone else in particular."
Izuku looked at her, trying to understand what she meant. Why was everyone talking about "someone special" to him today? She smiled, but there was a gentle sadness in her eyes.
"Deku-kun, you’ve always been brilliant, determined, selfless. You kept fighting even when you were covered in blood and breaking your arms. I’ve always admired that about you. I think that’s why I fell in love. But over time, I realized maybe that feeling was one-sided. And love can’t be built on admiration alone. It can’t be. We weren’t meant to be. And that’s okay."
"Uraraka-san, I already... I already felt the same. I don’t know. Maybe I still do, but it’s different. It’s calm now." He didn’t know how to say this. Part of him still felt guilty, another part moved by her sincerity. "I don’t know when this uncertainty started, but now I don’t know how I feel about so many things. I think I’m sure of something and keep smiling to convince myself that it’s what I want, but I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore."
"You don’t have to say anything else," she said quickly, shaking her head. "I’ve already made peace with it. And I’m happy just being your friend, truly. I just wanted you to know because... well, like you said, sometimes I see you doing the same thing with your own feelings. Hiding them, pretending they aren’t there."
He blinked, confused. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that you don’t say things, but your actions always betray your composure."
"My actions?"
"Yes," she agreed, hesitating for a moment. "Actually, there’s something I wanted to ask you. Something that’s been on my mind since dinner tonight."
Izuku looked at her, curious. "What is it?"
"It’s about Bakugo."
Katsuki’s name made Izuku’s heart race. He tried not to show it, but he wasn’t sure he succeeded. He took a step back, stammering. "Ka-Kacchan? What about him?"
Ochaco bit her lip, as if carefully choosing her words. "Today, at the restaurant... I noticed he was watching you the entire time. And in a different way. Much more intense and constant. Did you notice?"
Izuku stopped walking for a moment, surprised by the direct question. "I... don’t know. Kacchan’s always been intense with me. I guess I’ve gotten used to it."
"But today it seemed very different," Ochaco insisted, looking at him with a mix of curiosity, sadness, and concern. "It seemed like he wanted to tell you something but couldn’t."
Her words left him uneasy, though not in a bad way. He tried to recall every moment of the night: the way Katsuki looked at him, the carefully chosen words. Could Ochaco be right?
"I never know what Kacchan’s thinking," he admitted. "He’s not exactly... open about what he feels."
"Maybe it’s because he’s scared," Ochaco suggested.
"Scared? Kacchan?" Izuku laughed, but the sound was more nervous than genuine. Deep down, he always knew.
"Everyone’s afraid of something, Deku-kun," she said, smiling, raising her arms and finally looking up. "Even Bakugo. And sometimes, the fear of being vulnerable can be the greatest fear of all. And I know you know that too."
Izuku reflected on that as they kept walking. It was strange to think of Katsuki as someone who was scared, but maybe it was true. He knew it was true. He’d known Katsuki since they were kids, and while he saw him as an unshakable force, he also knew he carried many insecurities. And he was the only one Katsuki ever seemed to open up to.
"Deku-kun, can I ask you one more thing?" Ochaco interrupted his thoughts.
"Sure," he replied, though his voice was a bit hesitant.
"And you? What do you feel about Bakugo?"
The question hit him like a punch to the stomach. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at Ochaco as if she’d just asked him something impossible.
"What... what do you mean by that?" he asked, stammering.
"I mean exactly what I asked. While I was talking to Tsuyu, I saw you looking at the mirror right behind me with an expression on your face I’d never seen before. I got curious, and when I got up to go to the restroom, I realized it reflected exactly where you, Todoroki, Kirishima, and Bakugo were sitting." She crossed her arms. "I know the others are out of the equation. So... what do you really feel for Bakugo? Because, looking from the outside, it seems like you two have something... special."
Izuku felt his face heat up despite the cold. He tried to think of an answer, but his mind was blank. He knew what Katsuki meant to him—a rival, a friend, someone he deeply admired. But... was there something more?
"I... I don’t know," he admitted finally, his voice low.
Ochaco smiled in a way that was both encouraging and a little teasing. "Well, then maybe it’s time to find out."
They continued walking, the silence between them now heavier, but not uncomfortable.
"As you now know, Deku," Ochaco said after a while, "I’ve also had my moments of confusion with my feelings. It’s normal. But we need to be honest with ourselves, even if it’s scary."
Izuku looked at her, surprised by her sincerity. "What about you? How did you deal with it to get to this moment?"
"With time," she replied, looking ahead. "And a lot of reflection. Sometimes, we have to step away from other people’s expectations and ask ourselves what we really want. Who really matters."
Izuku nodded, feeling the weight of her words. Maybe that’s what he needed to do. Look inside himself and admit what he’d been avoiding for so long.
When they finally reached the point where their paths separated, Ochaco turned to him with a soft smile.
"From now on, can I call you by your name at our next meetups? I feel like ever since U.A., we’ve been close enough to do that. And I’ve always wanted to."
"Of course, absolutely!" Izuku said, sudden and pure excitement in his voice. "And can I call you that too?"
"I’d be honored, Izuku."
"Thank you for everything, Ochako."
"And Izuku, remember," she said, waving her arms, her figure growing smaller in the distance. "Be honest with yourself. And with Bakugo, if you’re brave enough."
Izuku stood still, alone in the night as she walked away, her words echoing in his mind. Maybe it was time to face the feelings he’d been trying to ignore for so long. Maybe Katsuki was waiting for him to do exactly that.
Katsuki didn’t know exactly what he was doing. Not that he’d been in control of his own thoughts much lately. The night was still dark, and the city quiet enough that he could hear the sound of his own footsteps against the asphalt. It was irritating. He hated the silence—the kind that made his thoughts echo louder than they should, completely contrasting with his bad mood.
After that damn reunion with the group, he’d left his friends halfway through, gone home, dropped his backpack by the entrance, and stood in the middle of the room, staring into nothing for longer than he cared to admit. Every part of him screamed to just forget it all. To pretend nothing was wrong.
But everything was suddenly becoming so clear that there was no way to pretend. Not anymore.
The truth was like a blade stuck in his throat, harder to ignore with each passing moment. And the more he tried to push it away, the more Kirishima’s words haunted him.
"I don’t want to butt in, but maybe it’s time for you to... I don’t know, be honest with him? Say how you really feel, you know? No hints or avoiding the subject."
He knew what Kirishima meant. And the worst part was that he was right. He’d known that from the moment he left the restaurant, hands stuffed in his pockets, his chest burning with something he didn’t even know how to name. He needed to do something before it was too late.
But how?
He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, the night air cold against his face. What could he do? What could he say? He wasn’t good with words. He never had been. His way was always to blow things up first and think later. But with Izuku... with Izuku, he couldn’t blow up. He couldn’t yell or lash out. Izuku was different. He always had been.
"Damn it," he muttered, running a hand through his messy hair.
He knew where Deku lived. Of course he did. He knew more about that nerd than he wanted to admit, even to himself. And now, as he walked through the city, his feet automatically guided him to him, as if his mind had already made that decision before he even realized it.
When he reached the street where Izuku lived, Katsuki stopped. The lights in the other's apartment were off, and he stood there for long minutes, as if waiting for something to happen. But nothing did.
He took a deep breath, clenching his fists at his sides. This was pathetic. He, Katsuki Bakugou, standing in the middle of the street like an idiot, too scared to take the next step.
But then he remembered something. A distant memory, from when they were kids. Izuku, very little, always running after him, always trying to help him with something, even when he didn’t want it. Even when he wouldn’t let him. Even when he yelled at him to leave him alone. And then, years later, Izuku was still there. Even when he didn’t deserve him to be.
That was the thing that killed him. Izuku had always been there. Always the fixed point in the chaos that was Katsuki’s life, until he himself became the chaos, becoming the reason for so many things that Katsuki would be willing to leave behind for him. And now...now it was his turn to be there for Izuku.
He took another deep breath and, before he could change his mind, pulled the phone from his pocket.
"Hey, Deku," he said, as soon as he heard Izuku’s sleepy voice on the other side of the line. "I need to talk to you. Now."
When Izuku appeared at the building door a few minutes later, he was still dressed in pajamas, his hair completely messy. Katsuki had to look away for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest in that irritating way it had been doing frequently.
"Kacchan?" Izuku’s voice was low, but full of concern, something that had become a solid characteristic of him. "Did something happen?"
Katsuki didn’t answer immediately. He looked at Izuku, trying to gather the right words, but all that came out was: "You’re an idiot."
Izuku blinked, confused. "Kacchan? What?"
"You’ve always been an idiot, did you know that? Always running after things, throwing yourself into the middle of problems. Always thinking you can save everyone. That you can please everyone," Katsuki took a step forward, his hands clenched at his sides. "But who’s gonna save you, Deku? Who’s gonna choose you when you can’t even do that for yourself?"
Izuku went silent, his green eyes wide. He hadn’t expected that. Katsuki knew that. He hadn’t expected to say that either, but the words kept coming, like an avalanche.
"I... damn, I still don’t know how to do this, okay? I’m not like you. I’m not good with words or showing feelings just through my face or... any of that shit. But I know one thing, Deku." He took a deep breath, trying to control the quiver in his voice. "I’m not gonna stand by while you throw yourself into the fire again, while you hide and put others before yourself again. Not anymore."
"Kacchan..." Izuku tried to say something, but Katsuki quickly interrupted him.
"You’ve always been there for me. Always. And I never did anything to deserve that. You never gave up, even though I gave you thousands of reasons to. But damn, Deku, I’m getting better. And I want to be even better. I want to be someone who..." He stopped, feeling his throat tighten more and more. "Someone you can count on. Someone you... someone you can..."
He didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t need to. The silence that followed was filled with things neither of them knew how to properly say.
Izuku took a hesitant step forward, but with that determined look that Katsuki both hated and loved at the same time. "Kacchan... I’ve always counted on you. Even when you thought I didn’t. I always knew that when I needed you, you’d be there. Remember in the war before you saved me from Kurogiri? I don’t know how or why, but I felt you coming. More than anyone else, that gave me security and strength to keep going. And if you really want to be here now..."
Izuku smiled, a small but genuine smile.
"Then I’m listening, Kacchan."