Chapter Text
Cartoons could be heard playing faintly on the small TV in the Curtis house. They weren't turned up very loud – the brothers were careful about loud noises now – but they were playing nonetheless. And Soda was watching them, just like old times. Except, he wasn't really watching them. He was looking at them and trying to absorb them, but his mind was somewhere else. Everywhere else.
Soda was sitting on the floor, with his back propped up against the front of the couch. His mind was restless, unable to focus. He ached to move, but his body wouldn't let him. His mind was restless, but his body was so heavy. It wasn't the injuries weighing him down, not really. Despite a messed up shoulder and a back that ached more often than not, he was able to move freely most of the time. And yet, he didn't have it in him to actually do it. His injuries weren't what kept him down, not really. It was everything else . Though, when Ponyboy had asked him what that meant the day before, he couldn't put it into words.
Everything was different. At twenty years old, he suddenly didn't know what to do with himself. The thing was, he would have been perfectly content existing as an adult the same way he'd existed as a teenager – working at the DX, fixing cars with Two-Bit and Steve, maybe settling down someday, seeing his brothers every chance he got for family dinner. He thought that he probably would still be content with that. But when you spend two years in a foreign country with the sounds of gunfire in your ears every second of the day, something changes. After returning from Vietnam, not a single bit of what he'd imagined for himself made any sense anymore. There was a clear “before” and a clear “after”. He didn't know what to do with that.
“I saw those kids you were tellin’ me about, down by the lot.”
The sounds of Ponyboy making a sandwich in the kitchen slowed to silence as he listened to his brother's voice.
“Yeah?”
“They're so little.”
“Yeah.”
“Didn’t they learn anything?”
“I guess not.”
“I mean, maybe if they’d actually known Johnny and Dal–”
“Soda.” Ponyboy’s voice was firm, a warning. Two years had passed, but the hurt didn’t stop. Soda had a fair point, the younger kids who were taking the places they once held as greasers seemed just as naïve as they themselves had once been. And maybe, just maybe, if they’d known Johnny or Dallas, they’d be just as affected by their deaths and the violence would stop. But, they hadn’t. And so, it never ended. It was like some terrifying cycle they couldn’t control.
“Sorry.” Soda said quietly. He wondered if the Socs were the same as they’d always been, but he didn’t voice that thought.
“You should try to get out of the house today.” Ponyboy suggested. It was a weird role he now filled, trying to help Soda the way that Soda had once helped him.
“And do what?”
“I dunno… we’ve got a little bit of extra money this week, you could take it and go to that diner on Main Street? Treat yourself to a dinner that doesn’t consist entirely of canned vegetables, maybe.”
Soda cracked a small smile at that. It sounded nice, and it wouldn’t require him to move around too much and aggravate his back. “You sure Darry won’t be mad about me taking the money?”
“It was his idea to give it to you. He said something like, ‘It’s been two weeks, he’s gotta step foot outside of the house once in a while’. Look, I’m not tryin’ to push you, but…”
“No, I get it. He’s right, I gotta at least try.”
Soda got up, turned off the TV, and took the extra cash that was on the kitchen counter. With a deep breath, he braced himself and left the house.
—
Cherry was in a daze. She had been for the last week. She’d just finished her second year of college and was back in Tulsa for the summer. For a lot of people her age, this meant a summer job and saving up spending money for the following year. Not for Cherry, though. Her family’s wealth didn’t require that. If anything, her only purpose for being home that summer was to go to a few social events with her family and keep up the social connections she’d had her whole life. It didn’t feel the same as it used to. She’d never really liked it, but now she absolutely hated it. Small talk with other wealthy families that pretended they gave a damn about her beyond whether or not she might be interested in marrying their son? Not really her thing. But still, she had to attend, to make her family look good.
This particular event was some sort of “kick off the summer” event, a tradition in their neighborhood. Cherry remembered it being fun when she was a kid. She’d get excused pretty quickly to go spend most of it with the kids of the other families. That was where she’d met Bob, when they were both thirteen. She’d met Bob’s friends then, too, the boys that rounded out the friend group she’d been part of throughout high school. She’d already known Bev and Marcia, so the group filled out pretty nicely.
Though it was a summer party, she was still expected to look put together. Her mother made her go to the hair salon, so she sat there and made small talk while the other women there gossiped around her. She listened to some of it, trying to process all the changes in town. Most of the boys she’d gone to school with either went to college or got drafted, so they weren’t the subjects of that morning’s gossip session. Paul and Chet and Trip and Brill and Bev and Marcia and Randy were no longer what anyone cared about. They, too, only came back for the summer, building lives elsewhere. Cherry wondered if any of them actually talked to each other anymore. Today’s conversation was all talk of people she’d never heard of before, which made it hard to follow. All of their problems sounded the same as hers had been. Nothing had changed, and yet somehow everything felt completely upended. She held back a long sigh, suddenly eager to leave.
She went home and got dressed for the party, her mother insisting that she wear something “smart” – whatever that meant. She opted for a nice summery dress, in some pretty pastel color that looked brighter and happier than she actually felt. She hoped it would lighten her mood, but she figured it wouldn’t. The rest of the process and even the party itself just felt like muscle memory. Talk to this person, smile politely at this young man her parents had directed her to, dumb down her college studies to anyone who asked because she knew they didn’t actually care, make small talk with the rich family her father wanted to do business with, pretend like she wasn’t slowly dying inside, and repeat this over and over again until she started to feel sick.
About two hours into the party, Cherry started looking for a way out. Her parents were wrapped up in their own little worlds, too busy trying to keep up the family image that they weren’t paying her any mind. She looked around to see if anyone was approaching her to talk or was even looking at her. Thankfully, for once, no one seemed to give her a second thought. Taking a deep breath, Cherry darted to the back gate of the yard and disappeared. Suddenly, she felt free. Suddenly, she wanted to cry. Where was she going to go now? She couldn’t go home, that was for sure. The more that she thought about it, the more she realized she was absolutely starving. Had she had anything to eat at all during that party? Probably not. With all that small talk, there was no room to actually eat something. Just another reason to hate it. She thought about what might be appealing. The west side of Tulsa had no shortage of food and nice restaurants. She wasn’t quite sure she wanted something nice. She knew there was a diner close to the train tracks, right on the border of the east and west side. It was technically on the west side, but lots of east side people were usually there, hence why she’d rarely been allowed to eat there as a kid. She wasn’t a kid any longer.
—
The diner was quiet when Soda walked in. The dinner rush hadn’t started yet, and he was glad for that. Noise and chaos bothered him now, in a way they never had before. He ordered a coffee and a sandwich, hoping it might bring a little bit of life back to him. And then, he just sat by the window, watching the world go by.
As he stared out the window, he saw someone familiar walking down the street. From her vibrant red hair, he knew immediately that it was Cherry Valance. Wait, Cherry Valance? What was she doing back in town? Why on earth would Cherry Valance, of all people, come back to Tulsa?
She crossed the street, making her way to the sidewalk by the diner, and Soda realized that’s exactly where she was going. He couldn’t help but be a little curious. He doubted she’d ever talk to him, but if he got the chance, maybe he’d ask her all his questions. Cherry stepped inside and waited by the door for a waitress to notice her and bring her to a table. She glanced around the place, and her gaze landed on Soda. He couldn’t quite read her expression, but it seemed like she was as curious about him as he was about her. He offered a small smile and a wave. She waved back.
“You wanna sit over here?” He asked, raising his voice just enough for her to hear him.
“Oh, I don’t want to intrude–”
“It’s gonna take you forever to get a table, they’re running behind despite it being quiet as a church in here.” He shrugged, waving her over. “I could use the company, anyways.” More like, he didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. Cherry looked unsure, maybe even apologetic, but finally sat down across from him in the booth.
“I don’t mean to interrupt your, uh, your lunch.”
“You ain’t. Pony made me get out of the house, I wasn’t really looking to do anything special.”
“Ponyboy… Right. I forgot, he’s not in college yet.”
“Next year.”
“Damn. Time flies.” She murmured, then took in the state of him: The new set of tags, the shorter hair that was finally starting to grow back, the stiffness in his shoulders. “I’m sorry, I didn’t–”
“S’okay. I didn’t expect you to know. We barely know each other.”
“Yeah, but– I mean, Pony and I stayed in contact, at first. So–”
“Don’t worry about it.” He said quietly. He meant it. He never expected a Soc to care where he’d been the last two years. It startled him when he looked back at her face and saw that she did look genuinely sorry.
“When did you get back?” She asked after a moment.
“Two weeks ago.”
“Christ, that recently? You must’ve been there for…”
“Almost two years, yeah.” He nodded.
“Are you glad to be back home?” She asked softly.
“What are you doing back in Tulsa?”
Cherry blinked, probably startled by the change in subject. “I… college. I’m back for the summer.”
“And you… came back?” He couldn’t believe someone would willingly do that, especially not a Soc that could come and go as she pleased.
“My family expected me to.”
Soda raised his eyebrows, but nodded. “I guess that makes sense.”
“What about you? Would you leave, if you could?” She challenged. Her tone still gentle, but there was something else in it.
Soda fidgeted with the napkin in front of him, occasionally tearing pieces off of it and putting them in a little pile on the table. “I dunno. Maybe. When I found out I was goin’ home, I was real happy. But now that I’m here it feels…” He trailed off, searching for the right word.
“Weird?” Cherry filled in, almost instantly.
He looked at her and nodded. “Yeah. It feels weird.”
“I know what you mean. Well, okay, not exactly. I didn’t fight in a war, obviously, but–” Cherry frowned, clearly fighting with herself over how to say this without sounding insensitive. “Everything feels different now. Not that I expected it to stay the same forever, but everything changed so fast. Or maybe it was just me that changed? I feel so out of place.”
Soda listened, admittedly a little surprised that she would share this with him. Under normal circumstances, he was probably one of the least likely candidates for someone she would open up to. But nothing about this was normal. He wasn’t even sure what that meant anymore.
“I can’t tell if everything changed without me, or if I changed and everything else stayed the same.” He said after a moment.
“Sodapop Curtis, when did you get so eloquent?” Cherry said, trying to make him smile.
“Maybe reading all of Ponyboy’s letters rubbed off on me.” He shrugged with a slight laugh. The truth was, he’d always had thoughts like that in his head. He just never seemed to be able to get them out properly.
“Well, whatever the case, I think you’re right. At least one of those things is true. Maybe both of them are. Something just feels… wrong.”
As they’d been talking, more people had been entering the diner and getting tables. The dinner rush was beginning. The noise and the crowd made Soda feel more restless, the sound of knives and forks against plates getting under his skin just as badly as nails on a chalkboard. He needed to leave before it became too much. But at the same time, he didn’t want to just abandon Cherry here. He’d been enjoying their conversation, as depressing as it was.
“D’you… I mean, would you want to– Could we go somewhere else?” He asked, his words tumbling out in a rush of anxiety.
“I– sure, of course. Is everything okay?”
“I can’t hear myself think in here. I gotta get outta here, but I like talkin’ to you. So, if you wanted to come with me…”
Cherry smiled then, a real smile. “I’d like that.” She said simply.
Soda stood up and tossed a few dollars on the table to pay for his food. He watched with a slight smile as Cherry grabbed a couple of his remaining french fries.
“What?” She asked with a grin. “It’s a snack for the road, and you didn’t want them.”
Soda shook his head in quiet amusement. “Fair enough, I suppose.”
Without another word, the two of them pushed past the crowd by the door and into the heat of a Tulsa summer afternoon.