Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Good morning, afternoon, or evening, and welcome to another interview with the cast of The Lord of Crime, BBC’s hottest new crime thriller. Last time, we interviewed the supporting cast, and this time, we are lucky enough to have the two stars of the show with us today! Mr. Moriarty, Mr. Holmes, would you like to introduce yourself?”

“Ah—just Sherlock is fine.”

“Just William is also quite alright. To anyone watching, hello, my name is William James Moriarty, and I play the titular character of the show. I’m very glad to be here.”

“Sherlock here, I play the detective hunting him down. Happy to be here, too!”

“Now, the two of you have done quite a few interviews regarding the show after it grew to popularity—this interview will be a little different. Is that alright?”

“Err, depends on what you mean by different—”

“Different should be interesting, Sherly, no?”

“...alright, then. Give it to us.”

“In particular… there’s been a certain part of the fanbase with a few particular theories about the show and its trajectory. I’d like to get your thoughts on these specific theories.”

“Oh? That’s not really odd at all, I’ve read a few theories floating around here and there—”

“...these may be a little different from the theories you know, Mr. Holmes—err, Sherlock.”

“Ah. I believe I may know what you’re referring to.”

“...do I want to know, Liam?”

“What do you think it is, Mr. M—uh, William?”

“If my suspicion is correct, it’s regarding the relationship between our characters, right?”

“Relationship? Really?”

“That’s correct, William! Have you seen the theories yourself?”

“I’ve heard it come up just a few times. I must admit I don’t know much about it, though.”

“A-ah, well, then, I guess I’ll explain! Essentially, a rather significant and err, robust part of the fan base is quite interested in the relationship between your two characters, even more so than just as a detective and a criminal. Actually, quite a lot suspect that there’s something even… maybe romantic involved?”

“Yes, that sounds familiar.”

“...well, I certainly haven’t heard this stuff before. Romantic implications, huh? I guess I can see where they’re coming from.”

“...really, Sherly?”

“What, you can’t?”

“W-well, I’m sure the fans would love to know your thoughts on this theory! William, it sounds like you’re not entirely convinced of it. Would you mind sharing why?”

“It just seems a bit fantastical, is all. It’s evident, at least to me, that our characters revolve around each other much like chess players watching carefully for the other’s next move—the nature of such a relationship seems much more to be that of efficiency, maybe even convenience. Both are simply waiting to use the other for their own benefit—that doesn’t speak to me, at least, of being particularly romantic.”

“Bollocks.”

“...I assume you have something to add, Sherly?”

“Yeah—that your take is bollocks. Come on, Liam, you make it sound like our characters are constantly at each other’s throats. You know as well as I do that that isn’t true.”

“Not necessarily, but I still do think extrapolating to a romantic relationship is a bit of a stretch, no?”

“Eh, not really. I’m pretty sure I’ve flirted with you on camera before.”

“...”

“Err, your character, I mean.”

“...really?”

“Well, you see the lines they give us to read. You’re telling me you really don’t think the detective doesn’t like flirting with his suspect every so often?”

“Even so, that hardly speaks to anything of romance. Casual flirting is a far cry from declarations of love, isn’t it?”

“Sure, but it’s not just that. If, as you claimed, our characters were simply waiting for a moment to take advantage of each other, do you really think the season finale would have played out as it did? I mean, gosh, Liam, don’t you think jumping off of a burning bridge for your character is equivalent to a confession?”

“...I must admit that decision surprised me when I first read the script. If I am to be perfectly candid, it seemed to me a bit out of character. Why would the detective risk so much—risk everything—for a criminal with so much blood on his hands?”

“Because he loved him, Liam. Why else?”

“...you seem rather taken with this theory, Sherly.”

“Just saying it as I see it.”

“Evidently.”

“A-ah, thank you both so much for sharing your thoughts on this unconventional topic! I’m sure the fans will be thrilled to see such conversation, err… now, if you both don’t mind, I have just one other question to ask. It veers a bit into the personal side… is that alright?”

“Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

“Sherly and I have gotten quite our fair share of personal questions before, so it’s no problem at all.”

“Alright, then. Um… alright, so… outside of these rumors surrounding the characters you play, there are also a few rumors surrounding, uh… the two of you.”

“...oh?”

“Particularly, um, regarding the relationship between the two of you. In that you two are in a relationship together.”

“...oh.”

“Huh.”

“...I don’t suppose you both could either confirm or refute these rumors?”

“Ah… I suppose I’ll have to be the bearer of bad news for those fans, then. Sherly and I are just friends, always have been. In any case, Sherlock’s straight, as well, so—”

“What?”

“...what?”

“Did you just say I’m straight?”

“...yes…?”

“Uh—I’m… I’m not.”

“...what?”

“Liam, I came out publicly, like, four years ago. You didn’t see it on the news?”

“I… I don’t recall ever seeing that information.”

“Oh.”

“Hm.”

“Does that… change anything?”

“Oh—no, no, I just—I didn’t know… it’s a bit surprising, is all.”

“...if you say so.”

“...”

“...”

“...well! I, uh, I think that’s about all the time we have for today—thank you both so much for taking the time out of your day today for this interview… do you have any parting words for the fans watching?”

“Stream the latest season of The Lord of Crime, of course.”

“What Sherly said. And a heartfelt thank you to everyone who’s supported us thus far.”

“See you guys next season!”