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Louis and Lestat stood in front of the downstairs Christmas tree, regarding it like it was the day before opening night at an art gallery show, the reviews of which would determine the fate of global nuclear disarmament.
“I don’t know how I feel about that tinsel,” Lestat finally said.
Louis looked to him, uncrossing his arms. “It’s real. Vintage. Lead. Tinsel. Do you know how rare that is? Do you know who I had to fuck to find that much?”
Lestat arched an eyebrow. “No, mon coeur. Tell me: who did you spread your legs for to make our downstairs Christmas tree sparkle like a Vegas showgirl in silver fringe?”
Louis turned to him. They’d been standing close; he made it closer. “So many people,” Louis said evenly. “Globally. They appreciated my vision of a classic vintage look. The women” —Louis shook his head dismissively— “we worked out monetary compensation. But the men? The Four Seasons knows me by name now cuz all year I was giving it up for fellas flying in just to hand-deliver this shit in exchange for an hour taking my—”
“I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW,” Claudia announced from the hallway as she made her way back to the parlor from the dining room.
Lestat and Louis froze, staring at each other. Lestat aborted his grip on Louis’s belt. “…Cherie,” Lestat said. “I thought you had left.”
“Really hadn’t.”
“You said Madeleine was expecting you for a hunt,” Louis said tightly.
“Swear to god, the roof could be falling in and you two wouldn’t notice once you get going.” She came into the room holding a large box overflowing with Christmas decorations. “Can I take these?” She asked, wiggling the box. The pantry off the dining room stored a lot of Louis’s Christmas paraphernalia; she must’ve been in there instead of leaving right away. Well.
Louis looked over, and frowned. “Oh, not the paper chain. You made that your first year!”
“Right. So it’s mine.”
Louis looked at her with devastated sorrow. Lestat almost laughed. The look worked on Lestat; it had a 5% success rate with Claudia.
But Claudia sighed and walked over to set the box down on the chaise longue. She took the chain out of the box and set it aside. “And the rest?”
Louis drifted over. “I just had those glass bulb string lights rewired.”
Claudia shrugged. “They’re real cool.” She turned her hopeful eyes to Louis. Deployed at 20% intensity, Lestat estimated. Easy win. “It’s our first Christmas together, I wanna show off for Maddo.”
Louis nodded. “Then yeah, you should definitely take those.” He shifted through the contents of the box. “That garland? It’s on its last legs. What about the one with the—”
“—oh, the one with the thin carved wood—”
Louis narrowed his eyes. “…No, the one with the holly—”
“Oh Daddy, that one’s too…”
“Boring?” Lestat offered.
Louis slanted a glare back at him.
“I was going to say it didn’t go with our aesthetic this year,” she said gently.
Louis looked back at the box, pacified. “Alright. You can borrow the curled wood one. Bring it back in January.”
«Ain’t never going to bring it back, are you,» Louis groused.
«I’m sure I’ll remember,» Claudia said brightly.
Louis meditatively gave his blessing on the remaining decor. “I’m sure it’ll look real nice, baby.”
Claudia gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, Daddy. The upstairs tree looks great, by the way.”
Louis nodded in agreement. Of course it did. “Thanks.”
“Will we ever be invited over to this famous love nest?” Lestat inquired.
“Nope!”
Before Louis could muster his full heartbroken look, Claudia cut in with, “You guys judge your own Christmas trees. You judge your own choices in linens! Maybe when we’re more settled.”
Lestat shrugged. “Fair.”
—
It was against protocol for Louis to accept help from Lestat with the decorating, but nevertheless they were arranging fresh evergreen boughs on the mantel together. They were going to have to start some new holiday traditions now that Claudia had moved out.
“The Four Seasons doesn’t book rooms by the hour,” Lestat said.
“I am torn between saying ‘they do for the right price’ and ‘you would know.’”
“Nonsense, Louis. I only do impromptu fucks in back alleys and public restrooms.”
Louis paused to assess him with a deadly look.
“That was a joke, Louis,” Lestat clarified.
Louis looked unamused.
Lestat crowded him against the mantel. “Tell me about all these lusty antique dealers who had you in trade for your charming toxic decorations.”
Louis raised an eyebrow. “That is a nine foot Christmas tree, Lestat. It is covered in tinsel, all the way around. Every packet of tinsel is only a few handfuls. Most people only had a couple packets to sell. So many men.”
Lestat leaned in to trail his nose up Louis’s throat. “I would have smelled them on you, mon cher.”
Louis shivered. “Well, sometimes I would do triple, quadruple bookings while you were out of town—”
Lestat pressed a gentle palm over Louis’s mouth. He smiled. “It’s funny, but it’s not funny.”
Louis pulled his hand down. “I’m just sayin’, don’t make fun of my tree. Lotta effort went into that.”
“It is quite beautiful, mon coeur,” Lestat murmured in Louis’s ear. “I like how it glitters in the firelight.”
“Mm.” Louis sighed as Lestat ghosted a kiss over his ear. “Pretty much extinct. We might be one of only a few households on the planet with the real thing this year.” He clenched a hand in the back of Lestat’s shirt as Lestat bit softly at his jaw.
“It reminds me…ever so slightly…of that long silver fringe thong I wore to Pride in 2018—”
Louis shoved him back a step as Lestat laughed.
—
“Is that all real lead tinsel?” Armand inquired with approval in his voice as he took off his scarf. They were all gathering for their white elephant gift exchange. Lestat enjoyed how Armand could never seem to fathom bringing an undesirable gift.
“Yes,” Louis said. “Yes it is.”
“I’m so glad that pack I traded you for went to such a beautiful cause.”
Lestat settled his hand heavily on Louis’s shoulder. “May I see you upstairs?”