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“Oof!” the band exclaimed as they finished tumbling down to the bottom of the hill. “Who’s idea was it to feed gerbils instead of squirrels?” Corey exclaimed. “Yours, as usual...” Laney groaned and shakily got up in a sideways angle. “For being chased through foliage, a picnic, that tuba parade and then followed by being inappropriately touched by a swarm of angry moths-” Kin paused as he inhaled.
“Before falling through that banner: I am impressed that we aren’t more- ... The moths ate our clothes, didn’t they?” he finished as the camera zoomed out. Laney’s eyes widened before she flailed to cover her PG rated parts. “Aw, man! That was my 29’th favorite set of identical clothes I keep stacked neatly in a row in my closet!” Kon said with a pout. Corey nodded slowly and covered himself as if it was a free kick.
“Alright guys: This is just like that time at the barbeque factory... Except that we aren’t deliciously glazed!” he proclaimed. “And we don’t even get the perks of being naked outside.” Kon sighed. “Shall we use our usual route through the sewers to get back to the garage?” Kin suggested. “Can we like, not get yeast infections, for ONE WEEK?” Laney complained and gestured with her elbows.
“Aw, come on Lanes! I’ve only gotten like, six. And usually only after I fall into the sewage water.” Corey replied dismissively. “Why are you covering your nipples? You’re being weird, dude.” Kin pointed out. “BECAUSE I’M-” Laney blustered before deflating. “Whatever...” She sighed and dropped her arm to expose her twins. Visibly smaller than either of the twin’s twins.
“Honestly, I was expecting some weird freckle situation since you even bothered to shield them.” Kin said, disappointed. “Yeah, well. Take a picture.” Laney replied snidely and kept her eyes at eye level. “Normal people don’t want their butt on public display.” She added. “But we’re not normal. We’re Grojband!” Kon countered. “Do we need to repeat the booty dance?” Kin asked and crossed his arms.
“FOR THE LOVE OF- NO!” Laney exclaimed desperately. “And can you PLEASE at least fashion yourself a leaf underwear?” she added. Kin dismissively waved her off. “Come now, we’re all guys here.” He said. The redhead shot him one disapproving glare. “I got it!” Corey proclaimed. “Since it’s the glizzy guzzling festival today: We can cut our way through the southwest area of the park.” he explained.
“Ah yes... on account of everyone being over at the mall.” Kon said and nodded. “There may still be some roaming mimes and hipsters left in the park however. Even though the tuba parade has moved towards the docks by now.” Kin chimed in. “I still think we should take the sewers.” He added. As the group conveniently arrived by a grate, the brothers were aghast in horror upon seeing the tape across it.
“Closed for renovation?!” Kon read aloud. “What could possibly need renovating?” Kin added. “Maybe they’re finally getting rid of all those rat hotels?” Laney offered. “But then who will teach us how to be ninjas?” the twins whined in protest. “What about that old asian man? Miy- Myi... something!” Laney pointed out. “He teaches kung fu. Totally different.” Kin scoffed indignantly. The bassist rolled her eyes.
Corey bumped his fist into his palm. “That does it! We’re taking the scenic route, while avoiding another indecent exposure charge!” he declared. Laney’s eyes bugged out as she glimpsed the lead singer's organic organ. Her cheeks ignited to match her hair. Corey spun around and re-applied hands as he shimmied along the dirt path. His perky, pale buttocks all but clapping in the wind.
Laney’s blood diverted from surging out her nostrils as it was more urgently needed further down. “Fine! But do know I am not a happy camper about this!” Kin interjected. “But, we’re not camping?” Kon questioned. Laney shook her head and fluttered her lashes to clear her head. But her other head rose to the occasion. “Oh! Come on! Not now !” she whispered in a camera angle so that the other couldn’t hear.
“Say, guy: Where DID you go that time after the meteor? We couldn’t find you for like, at least the time it would take a hormonal teen to do something suspicious.” Kin asked while it panned over to Laney. “Yeah, and you returned smelling of peanut butter!” Kon added. Laney tensed up as she leaned into the scarlet shade this season. “It was uh... DEFINITELY not related to unicorns in ANY way!” she exclaimed.
*Wicked Censored Transition!*
“I have to say, my dude: That was a perfectly reasonable explanation.” Corey agreed. “Yeah. Normally I’d say we would have noticed a peanut fondue, but I can’t argue with that flawless reasoning.” Kon noted. Laney laughed in a totally not nervous way. “Haha... Yeah, you guys know how it is!” she chimed. “Alright, we’re here!” Corey proclaimed and gestured dramatically to the school.
“WHY are we at the school?!” Laney exclaimed. “It’s summer break. No-one is here. So it’s the safest way back home!” Corey replied. “EXCEPT: They are doing sports!” Laney countered and waved her arms, paused, then covered her crotch sheepishly. “Huh... that would explain that cheerleader pyramid over there...” Corey noted and stroked his chin. “Ya think?” Laney chimed in, dryly.
“Nick Mallory is feeling the spirit today.” Nick Mallory noted before heading off screen, conveniently just out of line of sight of the bush Grojband hid in. “Core! I’m not waggling my derrière in front of the entire school!” the spicy redhead sputtered. “Speak for yourself.” Kin huffed indignantly. “Yeah! Don’t fart on my dreams, man!” Kon added. “But... wouldn’t you like that?” Laney questioned.
“Well, yes. But it's the principle that matters.” Kon retorted. “I could try to bring the- oh wait, no... That’s at the garage... But what if I- ... Wait, no. We don’t have any duct tape... Do we have gum?” Kin asked. “Nope. No. Sorry, I swallowed it.” The other guys replied. “Don’t worry boys, I have a plan that just might work!” the lead singer proclaimed and rubbed his hands together as the camera zoomed in dramatically.
“Drats... why do I have a feeling this is going to end poorly, again?” Laney exhaled. “Drats... rats... Say, where did you go with that rat while we were out in the woods?” Kon asked. “Yeah, and why was the rat all sticky and reeking of locker room?” Kin added. Laney’s eyes widened and darted around. “Uh... W-Well, there’s a completely normal reason to all of that!”she blurted out.
*Wicked Censored Transition*
“Well, that explanation certainly satisfied all of my curiosity in one fell swoop!” Kon decreed. “And in such a reasonable and concise manner.” Kin agreed. “Yeah, I have to say: That was some excellent storytelling, fella. I could almost feel myself being there as it happened!” Corey piped up. “Just a shame it’s not in a diary, else we could probably have used it.” He added. Laney wiped her brow and exhaled.
“Good plan of streaking across the football field. They’ll never recognize it was us thanks to that face paint!” Kin chimed. “Yeah, they’ll assume we were just some regular hooligans!” Kon cheered. “For having exposed myself to the entire school... I feel oddly less violated than I expected.” Laney noted. “As I keep telling you: The buttocks yearn to be free!” Kon sagely pointed out and nodded.
“Granted, on a scale of terrible to awesome: Public nudity isn’t that bad of a thing I’ve had to endure with you guys.” Laney admitted. “I’d personally say it’s a perk!” Kon chimed. “Yeah, compared to being mind controlled, kidnapped, merged, abducted, transconfigured or taken against my will: This is very much a positive!” Kin added. “Haha! Yeah, we sure do wind up in places we didn’t agree to a lot!” Corey chuckled.
“And I end up in them even more, but out of my free will, against my better judgement.” Laney noted. “Please, I’m sure the Newmans also get dragged through the sewers every now and then.” Corey said and waved his hand. “Psh, Lenny doesn’t even wear mascara. That poser.” Laney scoffed. “Well, we are clearly the superior band. So, no wonder we have better fashion than them.” Kin said.
“On the plus side: No-one is chasing us at least.” Laney admitted. “See? I told you this was the best way home!” Corey bragged. “Yeah, it only cost me my dignity.” Laney replied dryly. “Oh, come now! Next time we lose all our clothes: You probably won’t even bother doing that little cowboy dance.” Kon chimed. “Just look at me and my bro, bro!” he added and jazz hand gestured to the two of them.
“Just because we can dangle them, doesn’t mean we should .” Laney countered. “... And I am still slightly unsure if I should be able to...” She added. “Why wouldn’t you?” Corey asked and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “If you want to jive with nature, do so, my man!” he added and dramatically panned his arm. The redhead lit up to match her coiffure as her crush made close body contact.
“Speaking of which... Why did you have a monkey in your guitar case, Core?” Kin piped up. “W-What does that have to do about this?” Corey retorted. “Well, you did say it was essential to fump the monkey mascot while we ran across the field.” Kin replied. Corey awkwardly squeezed Laney, much to her arous- delight, we mean delight. “Ah, well, yes: You see: The thing about that!” Corey exclaimed.
*Wicked Censored Transition!”
“Wow, I never thought about it that way.” Kin noted. “Yeah, the way you described the intricate geopolitical situation really made me think.” Kon added. “Normally, I’d object to something you said. But I can’t find any fault in that reasoning.” Laney admitted. “And... I have to admit it’s doing something for me...” She whispered to the camera so the other somehow couldn’t hear her, despite standing next to her.
“Well, we best get going! Before some other shenanigans delays us even further.” Corey declared before walking off, his pristine pale cheeks reflecting the sun. There was a soft sproing sound effect as Laney bit her lip. “What was that noise?” Kon questioned. “N-Nothing!” Laney squeaked. “Was that a spring? I could use one of those for my next completely not morally questionable invention!” Kin exclaimed.
“Nope! It was probably a frog or something!” Laney interjected. “Those amphibians do make a lot of noise...” Kin agreed. The group quickly shuffled after their leader to catch up. “Anyhow gang, we should be home before our twenty minutes are up!” Corey chimed. “But, don’t we need to rile up Trina?” Kon asked. “Normally: Yes. But for once: We somehow don’t have a gig today...” Corey noted.
“Wait, then why were we running around the park?” Laney exclaimed. “Did I expose myself for nothing?” she added. “Well, not for nothing!” Corey replied and spun around. His member doing a gentle sway in front of his band members. The bassist let out an excited squeal and bounced, her own bits doing a dangle. “There’s those frogs again!” Kin huffed. “I want to pet them...” Kon sighed dejectedly.
“We found out where our next gig will take place!” Corey declared. “And, we did hear about that killer mustard recipe.” He added. Everyone nodded and murmured in agreement. “It will be perfect with pancakes.” Kon finished. Laney gave him a dubious glare. “Now; come! We’ll have to make it home so that we can come up with elaborate, silly ways to do something ineffectively!” Corey declared.
As the group headed onwards, Laney was most definitely not adjusting something atop her pearly gate. And was also totally not fixated on a certain moon in the middle of the day. After a few minutes, Kon cleared his throat. “So, managed to unstick your balls yet, Lanes?” he asked. The girl in question froze. “... What?” she asked in a nervously high pitch and sheepishly covered her crotch.
“I couldn’t help but notice that you have failed to unstick them for at least a minute now... and we’re not even sweating that much, come to think of it...” Kon pointed out. “Yeah, it’s actually a nice breeze.” Kin added. Laney moved her hand as conspicuously away from between her legs as possible. “Well, I uh... A mosquito bit me?” she offered. “... And I don’t have balls!” she sputtered.
“Sure you don’t, my guy.” Corey chuckled without turning around. “If we sneak around the water park, we should be able to get close enough to make a dash for it.” He added. Frustrated, Laney parted her legs and gestured towards her lady lips adorned with a tuft of ginger fluff. “Does THIS look a penis to you?!” she exclaimed. The twins narrowed their eyes and leaned in close.
“That is one wrinkly schlong... But! We don’t judge. On account of my micropenis!” Kon noted patriotically. “Then what about THIS?” Laney protested and stretched her labia an additional two inches. “Woah! Talk about a grower!” Kin gasped in amazement. Laney let go with a wet splap. “I give up...” She groaned, any hopes of cheekily rubbing one out off screen had been thoroughly dashed.
“You know Lanes, that’s pretty cool.” Corey chimed in, apparently having glanced over his shoulder at the right time. “Really?” Laney gasped. “Yeah, anything that is all stringy and ‘fjoings’ is right up my alley~” Corey said with a click. “I do have to say: For giving up a lot, you sure are persistent to keep trying.” Kin pointed out. “Yeah, like. How does that add up?” Kon asked.
“I dunno? It’s like... half serious, half complaining, half venting?” Laney replied. “But that makes 150 percent...” Kin questioned. “Ugh... haven't you heard about giving 110 percent?” Laney groaned. “Of course! I forgot we can do that as a band!” Kin exclaimed. “Say, where did you go after we got out of the zoo?” he suddenly added. Laney tensed up once again, sweat forming on her brow.
We are also fairly sure it was sweat lightly dripping from her moist parts down below. “Hey, yeah! We only saw you after we got out, and you looked like you kinda had a problem walking?” Kon added. “Now that you mention it... I kinda lost sight of you after I was done hanging with the bear...” Corey mused. “Well, uh... you see: The deal about wearing the bear costume and all that...” Laney trailed off.
*Wicked Censored Transition*
The group emerged from the foliage near the garage. “I had no idea unicorns were such an integral part of Mt. Rocklympus!” Kin exclaimed. “And I’m awestruck by how you have such in depth anatomical knowledge of such a majestic creature!” Kon added. “Though, also slightly concerned as to why you had to specify the anatomical differences in such graphic detail...” He followed up. Laney laughed nervously.
“Well, you know... It’s like, important for the authentic experience or something?” she offered. “I got that the kangaroo was important, but not sure how...” Corey pondered. “Anyhow! We’re finally here!” he declared as waved his arms, allowing their unofficial manager to one last glimpse at the forbidden fruit. “Yes! I can’t wait to go back to hiding my shame!” Laney sighed with relief.
“You know, dude: I wouldn’t mind if you displayed your pride , more often.” Corey noted and gave her a playful nudge. “R-Really?” Laney eagerly asked. “Does that mean we’ll finally play naked?” Kon gasped with excitement. “WE’RE NOT PERFORMING NUDE!” the spicy redhead barked, her flippity flappers flailing in unison with her limbs. “Not with that attitude, we’re not.” Kin harrumphed.
“Guys, it’s not about exposing our outsides . It’s all about expressing our insides .” the singer pointed out. “No matter how we do it, at the end of the day: We all just want to be heard.” He added. “It wouldn’t hurt to maybe, I dunno... WRITE THAT DOWN?” Laney exclaimed. “Thanks for coming out everyone!” Corey declared and reached for the door. “There was a clear lack of ‘coming’ though...” Laney muttered bitterly.
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