Chapter Text
Donna had worried that she was going to regret letting Louis plan Jordan’s first birthday party. He’d approached her months ago, begging to know what the theme and other details were and had insisted that she let him be a part of them.
She’d agreed, mostly because Harvey’s work as a new partner had kept them slammed, all of their extra free time was being spent on their daughter or on wedding planning, and she’d thought the help might be nice.
Until a few weeks ago, when Louis had brought her an entire digital file of decorations that needed purchasing, venues to rent, a list of the city's top bakeries, photographer options, and a selection of theme matching dresses that could be custom ordered.
She’d had to double check that she had indeed put him on planning the party and not her damn wedding.
“It’s her first birthday, Donna. It has to be perfect,” he’d insisted, leaning over her desk, “And yes, the cake is $1,200 but that includes the smash cake and the baker won awards for-”
“Okay, Louis,” she’d cut him off, “I appreciate all of this, I do, but you’ve gotta bring it down…like way down. We just need a nice sheet cake for everyone else to eat. Harvey’s mom is making Jordan’s smash cake.”
“I’m sorry,” he’d said sassily as he straightened, “Was Harvey’s mom featured in the news for winning the James Beard Foundation award for Outstanding Pastry Chef? I didn’t think so.”
“No,” Donna had clicked her pen in thinly veiled frustration, “But she is Jordan’s grandmother, which means she’s baking the cake with love, and that’s a priceless ingredient you won’t find at any bakery.”
“Now you’re just making things up,” he’d insisted and she’d stood, “Louis, listen. I appreciate your help and your enthusiasm to make this party wonderful for my baby. But if you’re going to be crazy, not only will you not be planning it but I will take you off the guest list.”
His mouth had dropped, “How dare you.”
“Louis.”
“Fine,” he’d huffed, “A reasonably priced, stupid sheet cake. But there will be a floral arch and I will not budge on that.”
She knew how to pick her battles, “Sure, Louis. Order all the flowers you want. Knock yourself out.”
They’d chosen to rent out a party room at a hotel on the upper east side that overlooked Central Park. The spring day was bright and the warm sun was paired beautifully with a cooler breeze that had ruffled the ends of Jordan’s dress as Harvey had carried her through the large double-doored entrance.
Now, stepping into the rental space, Donna was ashamed that she’d ever doubted Louis’s abilities. As it turns out, when reigned in a bit, Louis actually wasn’t half bad at party planning.
“Wow,” she heard Harvey mutter from beside her and Donna had to agree.
The room was covered in beautiful decoration; pastel pinks, golds, and green floral were pops of color against cream backdrops. The flower arch was adorned with bouquets that probably cost more than she cared to know, despite the fact that she’d set Louis on a budget. Circular tables with tulle bows were scattered about in an organized manner and a long serving booth was already aligned with hors d'oeuvres.
Guests had already begun to arrive; friends, family, coworkers, a few other mothers Donna had become close with in Jordan’s Mommy-and-me classes they attended twice a month, some of Harvey’s clients, and others Donna didn’t entirely recognize.
“There you are!” Donna’s attention was snagged by the approach of her own mother. She and her dad had driven in yesterday and had insisted on helping set up.
“Hey Mom,” Donna greeted, but she might as well have been invisible, the way she was bypassed immediately in favor of her daughter.
“There’s Gigi’s girl!” she tugged at Jordan’s pink ballet shoe covered foot and grinned at Harvey, “And hello to you too, Handsome. May I?”
Only Donna would have recognized the reluctance in his eyes as he returned the smile and allowed their daughter to be taken by her grandma.
“Oh, your mother has the smash cake!” Clara added, making cute faces at Jordan before looking back to Harvey, “She did a lovely job! Just wait until you see it!”
He nodded, “We’ll find her soon.”
Clara gave one last smile to Donna then walked off with Jordan.
Donna chuckled to herself and turned to Harvey, “Well, we might see our daughter again at some point today.”
He cracked a smile, but it was still begrudging, “She gets ten minutes and I’m taking her back.”
Donna laughed, wrapping her arms around him, “Don’t worry, the moment she needs a diaper change they’ll come find one of us.”
He smirked more genuinely at that, hugging her back, “Come on, let’s go find Mom and Marcus.”
His family had been in the city for the past two days and had been staying with them. Lily had insisted it would be easier to do the cake that way, rather than try to transport it from Boston.
She’d left for the venue a few hours before them, wanting to use the kitchen provided in the space to add the finishing touches on her masterpiece. Marcus and Haley had gone with her, with Joshua and Katie following shortly after.
Harvey had insisted that they wait until Jordan had napped before joining everyone, the excuse being that she would be in a better mood to visit with all the guests if she were well rested, but Donna knew it was really so they could have an hour alone once the apartment had cleared.
That time with him had been worth showing up twenty minutes late and needing a tad bit of concealer on her neck.
Harvey kept a hand on her back as they crossed through the space, his eyes following Jordan in his peripheral even as they were stopped and chatted with by a few different people.
They’d just made it by the ever growing gift table when Louis came up to them.
“So, what do you think?” he asked, “Do you love it? Isn’t it perfect?”
Donna smiled and pulled from Harvey so she could give him a grateful hug, “It is perfect. Thank you!”
Harvey clapped him on the shoulder, “It’s really nice, Louis.”
Louis beamed at the praise, then schooled his expression, “And where is the guest of honor?”
“Confiscated already,” Harvey grumbled, looking back over his shoulder where Jordan had been passed to Donna’s dad, who was making her giggle by pretending to munch on her fingers.
“Such a hard problem to have,” Donna nodded with faux sympathy, “A daughter loved by too many people.”
Harvey shot her a deadpan look, but didn't argue. He knew she was right.
She leaned up on the tips of her toes and placed a short kiss to his cheek, “We’ll steal her back in a bit. Let them have their time with her.”
He mumbled an acceptance and she placated him with another kiss, this one on his jaw.
As usual, that did the trick and some of the grumpiness left his face as his body relaxed into her.
“Have you seen Lily?” Donna asked Louis, “My mom said she had finished the cake.”
Louis nodded, “She was in the kitchen, back that way. I can let her know you are here.”
“Yes, please.”
He rushed off and Donna exhaled, taking in the room, the guests, the towering gift table.
“Our kid is spoiled,” she told Harvey, eyeing the stack.
He followed her line of sight and huffed, “Christmas was worse.”
“There are still more guests to come,” she reminded him, “And at least for Christmas, she only received a card from Michael, not a personalized gold bracelet with her name inscribed.”
Harvey shrugged, “He adores her.”
“Of course he does,” Donna said, “Everyone does. But what exactly is a one year old going to do with jewelry, other than try and eat it?”
Harvey laughed, “Do you want me to call him up and scold him for a generous gift?”
“No,” she sighed, “But it might be best if he sticks to basketball and leaves the gifting to his assistant. We’re better at those things.”
Harvey just shook his head, but considering he was the world’s worst when it came to choosing gifts, aside from the very rare occasion, he couldn’t really argue.
“Donna!” Rachel appeared, a wiggly Jordan in her arms and Harvey sighed in deep relief, “Louis really outdid himself, huh?”
“You have no idea,” Donna chuckled.
As Jordan squirmed with an energy only a baby could muster, Harvey reached out, eager to take his daughter from Rachel.
“Hey,” the paralegal pouted, a mock frown forming “I just got her.”
“You had her all of last Saturday,” Harvey insisted; referring to the four hours Rachel had come over to babysit while they’d had a date night.
“True, but you have her every day,” Rachel shot back, crossing her arms.
Before Harvey could retort, Donna stepped between them, holding up a finger to stop the debate.
“It’s a losing battle,” she warned Rachel, “You know he’s stingy with her.”
“I can hear you,” Harvey reminded her.
“Yeah, you were meant to,” Donna flashed him a smile, which she then turned to her little girl.
“At least you look like you’re having fun! Getting to say hi to everybody?”
Jordan’s dimples shone at the attention, perking up at the sound of her mother’s voice, and her tiny arms reached out, “Mama!”
With a smug victory grin, Donna held out her hands, and Harvey handed their daughter over.
“See, she likes me sometimes, too,” she teased him, planting a kiss on Jordan’s temple, “Isn’t that right, sweetheart? Daddy just likes to think he’s the favorite.”
Harvey snorted, “It’s funny how you have no issue admitting I’m her favorite when you want me to get up and deal with a blowout diaper at three in the morning.”
Donna just winked and brushed a hand over the back of Jordan’s dress, smoothing the material. Her daughter wriggled excitedly, suddenly reaching back toward Harvey, her little fingers outstretched and demanding.
“Dadadada-”
“Ha!” Harvey exclaimed, scooping her up instantly, “Still the favorite!”
He cradled her against his shoulder, a triumphant smirk plastered on his face.
Donna rolled her eyes and pushed his arm playfully, “Go find your mom.”
“You’re both ridiculous,” Rachel interjected, laughing as Jordan patted Harvey’s face, “You know she just wants the attention, right?”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Harvey insisted, grabbing Jordan’s small wrist in his fingers and bringing her arm to his lips for a scattering of loud kisses that made her once more erupt into giggles.
Donna watched them with a softening smile, loving the bond they shared and how happy being together made them. Harvey really was a safe space for their daughter, his warmth and protection the guiding light that would allow their little girl to flourish and blossom; never doubting that she would be fully loved and supported.
“Yeah, we’ll go find Grandma,” he said, half to Jordan, half to her.
Donna nodded and he dipped in for a quick kiss before walking off with their baby. Others stopped him along the way, greeting the birthday girl. A hand touched her arm.
“He’s so different when he’s with her, compared to how he is at the office,” Rachel noted and Donna smiled, “He compartmentalizes well. And he’s completely wrapped around that little girl’s fingers.”
Rachel laughed, “Hard not to be; she’s the most precious baby I’ve ever met.”
“Mmhm, and you aren’t biased or anything?” Donna teased her.
Another laugh, “Maybe just a little.”
They talked for a bit longer before they were interrupted by Jim, who had come over to greet his daughter. Donna spent some time with him and made a round about the room to mingle with the other guests.
The party was going well, some kids running about, adults sharing stories and food. She found Harvey again, sitting at one of the tables with Jessica and his mom. Their boss held Jordan now, though from the light lipstick smear on the apple of her chubby cheek, Donna reckoned Lily had gotten her for at least a bit.
“Hey,” she greeted, placing a hand on Harvey’s shoulder, “I’m about to go find the bathroom. Does she need to be changed yet?”
He motioned for Jessica to pass Jordan over and once she had, he checked her diaper and shook his head, “Nah, I think she’s still good.”
Donna nodded, “Okay, hold down the fort then? We can start the cake when I get back.”
“Sounds good.”
She kissed the top of his head and reached over him to boop Jordan’s nose, “Be back soon.”
The bathroom was down the hall, near the hotel lobby. Donna took care of business quickly, though she was grateful for the reprieve and checked her reflection in the mirror after washing her hands. Her curled hair still laid in in perfect waves along her shoulders, the fabric of the dress she wore was still wrinkle free. She swiped at her lips, whatever gloss she’d put on earlier was pretty much ruined by Harvey before they’d left the apartment, but she didn’t mind too much.
Satisfied with her appearance, she exited the bathroom and let the chatter of people coming and going accompany her back toward the party room.
Until one of the voices called out her name and she halted near the arched entrance.
Donna turned and faltered slightly when she noticed Mark, her ex boyfriend, walking toward her from the lobby of the hotel.
“I thought that was you,” he said, a hesitant smile crossing his lips.
“Mark, hi,” she tried to smile too, “What are you doing here?”
His brow lifted, “My company is holding a conference here; I’m in town for the weekend.”
“Oh.” Her heart calmed, the wild notion that he had somehow showed up because she was here fleeting.
“How have you been?” he asked, genuine interest in his voice, “Still at the firm?”
“Good,” Donna answered, “Really good. Yeah, still at the firm and things are…it’s good.”
She felt awkward, not sure exactly how much detail she wanted to jump into with her ex right now, in the hallway of a hotel while her family and friends were waiting on her to rejoin them.
“Glad to hear it,” Mark said, and he sounded as if he meant it. He looked behind her, to the bustle of the party, “I guess that explains why you’re here.”
She glanced over her shoulder, fidgeting, “Yeah…”
“I…I’d thought about calling you,” he shifted on his feet, his expression turning sheepish, “On your birthday…then again at Christmas. It always bothered me, the way we ended things and-”
“It’s okay,” she assured him. He had been right to end their relationship. It may have taken a while for her to see that, but it was hard to deny, given all that had happened in her life since, “You don’t owe me anything.”
“Maybe not,” he said, “But…look, I know you’re busy, and this might be forward, but maybe we could get lunch? Whatever works for your schedule. I’m in town until Monday-”
“Mark,” Donna sighed, frowning a little as she tried to let him down easy, “It’s sweet of you to offer, but I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
His brows creased slightly, “It’s just a meal. We can catch up. Maybe…talk about things. A lot’s happened since our breakup…and I’ve missed you.”
A lot had happened.
Their relationship had been one of the better ones she’d been a part of. Mark was thoughtful, kind, funny and attractive. Two years ago, she’d even considered that he might be the guy she’d end up marrying.
But the one and only recurring issue between them had come to a head on the evening of their six month anniversary, effectively ending the relationship.
Mark had wanted her to leave Harvey’s desk. He’d wanted her to choose them over her job; over the boss that took up all of her days and some of her nights and most of her thoughts in between.
She’d been unable to do so.
“Mark,” she started, planning to halt the direction his train of thought was taking, “I understand that you-”
Before she could get much further, Harvey appeared, Jordan gurgling away happily in his arms.
“Hey baby, it’s past noon. You want to do the cake soon?”
Donna wasn’t sure who it dawned on first that something was amiss, Harvey or Mark. They both seemed to realize that they were interrupting something at the same time and before either of them could ask, she took control of the situation.
“Mark, I’m sorry…I’m here with my family,” his eyes darted to Harvey; to Jordan in his arms.
“Um, this is Mark Meadows,” she explained to Harvey, unsure if he’d recognize the name, “We dated a couple years ago.”
And had broken up only a few months before Jordan had been conceived.
It was clear that Harvey did, in fact, remember her ex boyfriend; the one she had begged him not to interrupt their date for, the one he had given her a gift card to take out for their anniversary after teasing her for caring about things as trivial as a six month marker.
His expression was one of careful neutrality as he adjusted Jordan on one arm and extended his hand, “Harvey Specter.”
Mark had taken Harvey’s hand, but his expression clouded over when he realized who he actually was.
He pulled back quickly, eyes jumping to Jordan, then back to Donna.
“Harvey,” he said, and she could tell he was putting two and two together, “Your boss, Harvey.”
Donna nodded, an explanation on her tongue, but he scoffed, “I guess my intuition wasn’t entirely off, was it?”
The words were somewhat bitter and she could hardly blame him.
“Mark-”
“You know, I can't even say I'm surprised. The number of times I asked you if something was going on between the two of you…” he shook his head, “Were you screwing him the whole time? Or did you at least have the courtesy to wait until we’d ended things before running to his bed?”
Donna felt Harvey stiffen beside her.
“What the hell did you just say to her?”
Mark didn’t backtrack.
“This,” he motioned to the party behind them, to the banner that clearly declared it a one year old’s birthday, “Is for her, isn’t it?”
He nodded toward Jordan, then his accusing gaze shot back to Donna, “Your daughter?”
Donna swallowed, “She is, but-”
“We ended things two years ago,” he pressed on, “A year plus nine months…either you didn’t waste any time or you were already fucking him-”
Harvey’s features contorted with anger and his jaw clenched hard as steel as he stepped forward, “You better watch your goddamn mouth. Donna doesn’t have a disloyal bone in her body, and someone who dated her for half a year should know that.”
Mark’s aggravation simmered, “I think I have the right to question her loyalty, considering the timing of everything. I-”
“Enough,” Donna interrupted, her voice firm. She understood Mark’s suspicions and Harvey’s protective urges, but escalation wasn’t going to do anyone any favors.
“Harvey,” she turned to him first, “Take Jordan back to the party, please.”
“Donna-”
She touched his arm, “Just…give us a minute.”
He stared back at her hard, chewing her request over. She could tell he wanted to argue, to stand in her defense, but the reminder of their daughter in his arms seemed to draw him short.
This wasn’t the time or place to get into something like this, and he knew it.
“I’ll be right in,” she promised him.
He let out a slow breath, expression softening slightly as he held her gaze.
“Okay. I’ll get her out of her dress and ready for the cake.”
Donna nodded and let him press a possessive kiss to her forehead before he walked away.
When he left, she turned her attention back to Mark, who still looked hurt and angry.
“I’m sorry,” she told him, and she did mean it, “I never meant to hurt you with this. But I swear, nothing ever happened between me and Harvey while I was with you.”
He looked away for a moment and Donna could see the thoughts crossing over his face as he tried to decide if he believed her.
“But you were right,” she added, “Your suspicions at the time about what Harvey meant to me. I just didn’t understand it yet. I didn’t know .”
She remembered how hard she’d denied those feelings; how finding out about Jordan had changed everything.
“You saw what I couldn’t,” she admitted, “And you cared about me enough to let me go. If you hadn’t…”
His eyes flickered back to her, hesitant emotion in them, “We might still be together?”
Donna shook her head, “I don’t think we would. At least not happily. My life now…my relationship; it’s where I’m supposed to be. Where I was always supposed to be. But I am sorry I hurt you on the way to figuring it out.”
Mark was silent for another long moment, then sighed.
“I just wasn’t prepared for this,” he told her, “Seeing you again, thinking that maybe…and you’re with him. The very guy you told me I didn’t have to worry about. You had a baby with him…” his voice trailed off, regret replacing the anger, “It’s a lot to take in.”
“I get it,” she replied gently, “I truly am sorry, Mark. I wasn’t trying to lie to you. I didn’t think I was. My feelings at the time…I should have been able to prioritize you when we were in a relationship, but I couldn’t, because in my heart-”
“Your heart was already his,” Mark concluded, and Donna could hardly deny it.
For her, it had always been Harvey.
“He was a part of me,” she admitted, “And it didn’t leave a lot of room for anything else. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t care about you. That I’m not sorry I let things go on as long as they did and drug out the hurt. You deserved better.”
“I didn’t care about better, Donna. I just wanted…”
“I know.” He wanted what she had never been able to give him. “I’m sorry.”
He seemed to accept that, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a quiet rush; taking in her and the party beyond.
He nodded a little, “You seem happy.”
Donna followed his gaze across the room, to where her fiancé and daughter were waiting for her, “I am.”
It had taken way too long and there had clearly been collateral damage…but she was so damn happy now that she couldn’t regret a moment of it.
She parted ways with Mark, watching him fade from the hall and from her life before turning her back to the past and making her way to Harvey and Jordan.
Hours later, they were finally home.
The party had been wildly successful. Ray’s car had overflowed with all the gifts, the pictures of Jordan covered in pink icing would be printed on canvas and hanging on the walls within the week, and the time spent celebrating with their loved ones had been wonderful.
She and Harvey had soaked up every minute with their little girl and Donna was not ashamed to admit that she’d shed a few tears when it really hit her that Jordan was an entire year old already. It made her want to hold her baby tightly and never let go. Her little bean, who had come into her life and made her whole from the moment she’d seen her on the screen in Dr. Richmond’s office.
Donna finished tucking away the leftover cake in the fridge, heart still heavy with emotion, and made her way across the living room and into the hall that led to Jordan’s nursery.
Harvey had carried her in, all of the excitement of the day causing her to pass out the moment she got still on the ride home. Their sleepy little princess hadn’t stirred even once as they’d made it up to their floor, parted ways with the other Specters who would spend a final night over in Harvey’s condo, and hadn’t made a peep since she and Harvey had disappeared.
Donna was quiet as she poked her head into the nursery and she took a moment just to appreciate the sight.
Jordan was dead to the world, sprawled out in her crib, and wearing a pair of footie pajamas now. Harvey must have changed her before putting her down.
He stood over the crib, both hands braced against the polished wood as he stared down at their baby, watching her little chest rise and fall with deep breaths. His expression was pensive, his mind a million miles away; on what, she could probably guess.
One, the reality of their child getting older was hitting him as hard as it had her.
Or two, the incident from earlier in the day hadn’t fully left his mind.
Harvey hadn’t brought up the whole ordeal with Mark, focusing instead on Jordan and the reason they were celebrating, but Donna had noticed a certain look on his face once or twice through the evening that told her he was still bothered by what had happened.
“Hey,” she spoke softly through the space. Harvey didn’t move but he made a quiet noise of acknowledgement.
Donna walked over to him, leaning against his back and resting her cheek on his arm as she peered around him to Jordan’s sleeping form.
“She’s out like a light,” she smiled, rubbing his back. Harvey relaxed his weight into her a bit and she applied more pressure to her touch.
“So, did you want to talk about it?”
He didn’t have to ask what she meant. They knew each other too well at this point.
“How I almost laid out your ex at our daughter’s birthday party?”
Donna hid her smirk in his back, “That might have been a bit of an overreaction.”
Harvey turned to face her then, and though his voice remained level, conscious of their sleeping girl, his face was drawn in frustration.
“I don’t think it’s very funny.”
She sighed, wiggling into his arms, “It wasn’t fun…but I can understand why he was upset.”
“Enlighten me.”
Donna arched a brow, “Well, think about it. We broke up because he wanted me to choose our relationship over my job; but what he really meant was that he wanted me to choose him over you; and I couldn’t.”
Harvey’s lip twitched at that, some satisfaction to be found in the truth.
She reached up, brushing the corner of his mouth with her fingertips; some frosting was dried there on his skin from where Jordan had tried to feed him a handful of her cake, “And now you and I are together. We have a baby. Just confirming what he’d always thought about us…even if it wasn’t this at that time. It’s a lot to swallow.”
Harvey considered that and after a moment, gave a slow nod, “I guess I can see your point. But if he ever raises his voice at you again, I’m knocking out teeth. I don’t care how justified he thinks he is.”
Donna bit back a laugh, “Okay, baby. But it’s a big city and he doesn’t even live here anymore. Those chances are probably pretty slim.”
And thank god for it. She’d had enough drama to last a lifetime. All she wanted now was to enjoy her life and her little family.
Harvey wrapped his arms around her waist, tugging her close, “Happened today. You never know if it’ll happen again.”
“Well, if it does,” she took his face between her hands, “I’ll handle it, just like I did today. Mark’s not a bad guy, Harvey. He just wasn’t the guy for me.”
She paired that last statement with a suggestive look and Harvey’s defenses softened.
“I guess it might have hit a nerve,” he admitted, “Him accusing you of not being faithful.”
She nodded; having guessed as much, “He was upset. And in all fairness, we did make her only a few months after he and I ended things.”
Her gaze fell to Jordan, snoozing soundly, “At least he didn’t jump the gun and assume she might be his.”
Harvey’s breath hitched and his expression darkened with emotion, “Donna, do you want me to kill the guy?”
“No,” she smoothed out the line that had appeared between his eyebrows with her thumb, “I want you to let this go and know that I’m with the person I want to be with. That I’m happy and whatever happened in the past has nothing on our future together.”
Donna slid her hands to the back of his neck, pulling him down so she could reach his lips.
“I’m yours, baby,” she said against them, “ She’s yours. And the two of you are the center of my whole world. That’s all that matters now.”
Harvey sighed heavily and sank into her, letting her hold his weight as his forehead pressed onto hers and his eyes closed.
“I love you, Donna. I love you both. So goddamn much.”
She kissed him, a slow, lingering joining; breathing him in.
“We love you, too,” she whispered, overcome with just how much love her heart held for this man, “And nothing and no one will ever change that.”
He sealed her promise with another kiss, this one slightly more passionate, a building fire that would soon be an inferno.
“Let’s say goodnight to the birthday girl,” Donna suggested, “Then we can go to bed and you can spend the next few hours showing me all the parts of me that you love.”
He smiled, brushing her nose with his as he pulled away, “That might take all night.”
She bit her lip in anticipation.
“Then I guess, we’d better get started.”