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You screwed up.
You knew that, it was your fault. You didn’t even mean for it to happen. You were just talking to Takeru about something, you don’t even remember what it was about. Then you two got into a screaming match, and some things were said and Takeru walked away.
Now, here you were, about three hours later, holding flowers.
You knew that you were the one who started the fight, over what, you don’t even remember. But you knew that you had to apologize. So you shakily bring your hand up to knock on the door.
You stopped before your hand got to the door. Does Takeru even want to talk to you? Was he still mad at you? What was it that you were fighting about. You tried to remember but you couldn’t. It was probably something stupid.
But when you remembered the look on Takeru's face, you knew that it was probably more then something stupid. You and Takeru have been tense ever since you’ve both started college.
It seemed like every little thing set the both of you off.
And it just so happened that it happened when you were with each other. You shook your head and knocked on the door. You didn’t hear anything so you knocked again. This time you hear footsteps.
“Yeah”, Takeru said as he opened the door.
Takeru went wide eyed when he noticed you. Both of you stood staring at each other. The first thing you noticed was how shitty Takeru looked. His hair was messy and his face was a little red, not to mention the slight tear tracks.
You immediately felt your heart drop when you noticed. You were the cause of this.
Takeru was about to close the door before you spoke. “I’m sorry”, you said, holding out the hyacinths you were holding to Takeru. Takeru didn’t say or do anything but he did stop closing the door.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you, I don’t even remember what I said or what caused it but I’m sorry”, you said and Takeru looked at the flower before looking back at you.
“You don’t remember?” Takeru asked and by the tone of his voice, you could tell that he was mad you didn’t remember. You took a deep breath, your palms getting sweaty.
“No, all I know is that it made you mad and sad so I should apologize”, you said. Trying to sound caring and sad, and you were. Takeru looked back down at the flowers before opening the door more, inviting you inside. You walked inside and Takeru took the flowers from you.
You looked down, nervous to look at Takeru. You removed your shoes and put on the extra pair of slippers that Takeru got for you. When you looked back up you noticed that Takeru had placed the flowers in a vase.
Takeru had also walked away and sat on the sofa. You noticed a cup of half drank tea, a blanket on the sofa, and a cookie. The windows were open and wind blew in, making the room the perfect temperature.
You followed him and sat next to him, you wanted to sit closer to him. You wanted your knees touched and shoulders bumping into each other. But you didn’t know if Takeru was okay with that, so you sat further away. Neither of you said anything.
You both just stared at the blank TV with the only sounds being breathing and loud heart beating in both of the guys chest. You wanted to look at Takeru, try to find out what he was thinking, what he was feeling, but you kept your gaze on the TV.
You felt so many conflicting feelings.
You were happy that Takeru had invited you in. You were sad that you had caused Takeru to be sad. You were mad at yourself for not remembering why you yelled at Takeru.
“Do you really not remember?” Takeru asked in a soft tone. You tried not to cry at the tone itself. “I’m sorry but I don’t, do you?” You asked, looking at Takeru and getting what you feared most.
A nod.
You kept your gaze on Takeru, silently asking for him to tell you what you did. Whatever it was you didn't mean it, it was a heat of the moment thing, a mistake. Takeru looked down at his hands, which were fiddling with some loose strings on his pajamas.
“You said that you didn’t believe I could become a writer”, you flinched at what Takeru/you said. That was not good, you wanted to punch yourself. Takeru was in college to become a writer, it was his dream to write someday. You just told him, your boyfriend, that he couldn’t do that.
Oh you didn’t deserve to be Takeru’s boyfriend.
It was your job to support him, whatever he wanted to do. You looked away and buried your head in your hands. Why did you even say that, what caused you to say that. Maybe it was the anger, you remember being mad with how much time Takeru spent writing.
How he spent hours, over his laptop writing instead of being with you. With so little time together was just a few moments so much to ask. Maybe that's what the fight was about, if it was then you should bring it up again. Takeru did spend to much time on his laptop.
But with out the yelling and insults, and Takeru's tears.
Why why why, “why why why”, you whispered, pulling on your hair.
You didn’t mean it, you loved Takeru’s writing. Takeru must have heard you whisper because he made a sound. You took your head out of your hands, tears slowly running down your face.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I love your writing, I think you could be the best writer one day”, you said through tears. Whipping them away before looking at Takeru.
“I’m sorry, can you forgive me?”
You asked, pleading, begging, you didn’t mean it! Takeru stared at you for a bit before nodding, “Just don’t do it again, and I’m sorry for what I said to you”, you smiled and pulled Takeru into a hug.
Takeru returned the hug, wrapping his arms around your neck. You held Takeru around his waist, holding tight and not wanting to let go. You just held Takeru and rubbed his back.
You buried your head into his shoulder and pressed a kiss on it. “I’m sorry”, you said again. Takeru waked your back, “stop saying sorry, it’s fine. You apologized already”, Takeru said.
You nodded and pulled away from Takeru. You leaned forward and kissed Takeru. Though Takeru told you to stop saying sorry, this kiss was just you saying sorry again.
It was quick and sweet.
When you pulled away Takeru rested his forehead against yours, “did you mean that?” Takeru asked and you furrowed your brows. “That I could be the best writer?” You smiled, “of course, I meant that”, you kissed Takeru to prove what you were saying.
Takeru smiled and kissed you back before pulling away and resting his head on your chest. You just held Takeru while rubbing his back. You and Takeru just held each other, sorry that you ever fought but happy that everything was better now.
With the hyacinths blowing in the wind.