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Wei Ying felt a wide smile bloom on her face as she finally took in what she’d just heard. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t been taken by surprise when Lan Zhan, her best friend, for once agreed to attend a party with her. As far as Wei Ying had known Lan Zhan, which was quite some time– actually since they’d started university and ended up in the same class, the amount of times Lan Zhan had joined her at a party could be counted on one hand. It was a rare occurrence.
Well, it wasn’t like she blamed her. Lan Zhan had never been a big fan of larger crowds and obnoxious loud music. She rather preferred staying in their shared apartment doing something that was probably less stupid than getting wasted and high at some random person’s house. However, this time when Wei Ying had mentioned the party, Lan Zhan actually wanted to join. No matter how much Wei Ying thought of it, she couldn’t fully grasp why the sudden change. She’d just mentioned the basics– that Huaisang was hosting yet another party, that it would be this weekend, and that Wei Ying was sure people from this shared class would be there, like Wen Ning and Lu Yan. There wasn’t much to it. Yet, there was a tiny voice in Wei Ying’s head that was screaming loudly into her ears when she thought about how Lan Zhan’s gaze twitched a little when she’d mentioned the latter’s name.
She didn’t like what it was implying, so for now, she would just brush it away and not read into it. Because for as long as Wei Ying had known Lan Zhan, maybe, just maybe– she’d been in love with her best friend. For a long time, she’d just thought of it as an obsession, but the more she kept teasing and finally getting under Lan Zhan’s skin, she’d realized it might’ve been more than just that. Well, not like that was important. Lan Zhan had never shown interest in her, for a fact, not anyone. Therefore, it didn’t really matter. For now she had Lan Zhan all for herself.
Wei Ying was eagerly getting ready when someone knocked on her door. After dragging down the edges of her skirt, Wei Ying voiced, “Come in!” Lan Zhan entered the room and gave Wei Ying a quick look, her heavy gaze lingering at her for a moment before she asked, “Are you ready to leave?”
“Yeah, we can go now,” Wei Ying beamed at her, grabbing her purse before they headed out the apartment together.
Nie Huaisang lived rather close by, so the walk was swift. Before they knew it, they were already at the doorsteps of the house, ringing the doorbell. Even if they were standing outside, they could hear the blasting music and the heavy beat. Looking over at Lan Zhan, Wei Ying could tell that she was bracing herself. She couldn’t help but chuckle a little at the sight, making Lan Zhan give her a look.
The door suddenly flew open and they were instantly met with Nie Huaisang’s figure peeking out. “Come in, come in! We’re already started, so you guys can just head upstairs,” he announced. He tilted his head vaguely, letting it rest against the doorframe. “Also, good to see you here, Lan-jie! It’s not often that you come by.”
Lan Zhan gave a small hum in response while they headed inside, Wei Ying as good as plastered to Lan Zhan’s side from the moment they had entered. At first, Nie Huaisang led the way up the stairs, but as they’d reached the second floor, he waved them goodbye. “I have some affairs to deal with so I’ll have to head upstairs, but just come and find me if there’s anything. There’s drinks in the fridge if you want anything.”
Wei Ying didn’t even have the time to answer before he’d left them. However, she didn’t waste any time after that. She dragged Lan Zhan with her into the living room and examined the space. Not to her surprise, the house was filled with an immense crowd and music so loud that someone would probably leave this party with some form of hearing issue. She could already feel Lan Zhan tensing up beside her, so she swiftly decided that bringing her somewhere quieter would be better, especially since Lan Zhan had agreed to join her for once and she’d like for it to be a good experience. Going into the kitchen, Wei Ying could already feel Lan Zhan easing up a little. It wasn’t exactly quiet here, but it was enough for them to hear each other without having to yell.
Wei Ying pushed herself up onto the kitchen table and swung her legs a little, watching as Lan Zhan walked towards her. Nie Huaisang’s family was loaded, so there were still quite a few other people in the room with them laughing obnoxiously from probably having too much alcohol in their system.
“Regretting this yet?” Wei Ying asked, nudging Lan Zhan arm.
“No,” she muttered. Her eyes were as good as glued on Wei Ying. She looked over her outfit again before stating, a small glint in her eyes, “That top fits you well.” For a moment, Wei Ying had to look away just to prevent Lan Zhan from seeing how her face was burning up, but to no avail because Lan Zhan quickly followed her movement, leaning so Wei Ying could see her and continued, “I mean it.”
Wei Ying was cursing her loudly in her mind. Whenever Lan Zhan complimented her like this, she never knew what to do with herself. Deep down, she wanted to grab Lan Zhan’s face and pamper it in kisses, squeeze her in her arms while shedding tears of joy before she herself was sent to her grave from her profound urges. Maybe she wanted to do even more when Lan Zhan looked at her so earnestly, but Wei Ying would rather be buried alive than have to confess those desires to her best friend’s face.
“Aiya, Lan Zhan, you really want me to have a heart attack, don’t you? What would you do if I suddenly went into cardiac arrest right here and now? What then?” To that, Lan Zhan just let out a small huff, already used to how she tried to deflect her compliments.
Finally having silenced the menace, Wei Ying could finally smile at her again without feeling like all her organs were burning. However, the smile quickly evaporated when an obnoxious loud voice cut in from the room entrance. A guy had pushed himself into the room, his friends hanging right behind him. Their chattering was loud and became even more unpleasant the further they went into the kitchen, apparently having no respect for the others in the room. The one in front seemed to be pretty drunk, his steps uneven as he headed towards the fridge.
As the group was passing them, they didn’t seem to care about their surroundings, the guy in the front almost bumping into Lan Zhan as they walked forward. Lan Zhan watched them with a deep frown as she pressed towards the table to avoid them, her hands on the smooth surface as she leaned in-between Wei Ying’s legs.
For a good minute, Wei Ying forgot how to breathe. Staying like this, she could feel Lan Zhan’s warm skin briefly against hers and see her defined muscles all up against her thighs. Lan Zhan had apparently not noticed Wei Ying’s panic at all, too busy giving charged glances at the group until they finally left with their new cans of beer. Only when she turned around could she notice how close they were. They were only inches away. Wei Ying couldn’t help but squirm under Lan Zhan’s widened gaze.
A full crisis was going on in Wei Ying’s head, alarms going off from how she could feel Lan Zhan’s breath against her skin, sending shivers down her spine. In a moment of panic, she let out a strained laugh, which seemed to break Lan Zhan out of it too, her best friend instantly pulling back. Wei Ying wanted to slap herself in the face, but instead jumped off the table and headed towards the fridge.
“Those fucking pricks acted like they owned the place, pushing themselves into everyone’s space. Men, am I right?” she announced to lighten the mood, throwing the fridge door open and looking for anything decent in here. Nie Huaisang had questionable taste in drinks. Her friend would argue otherwise, but Wei Ying would always stand firmly behind that statement. “Lan Zhan, do you want anything?”
“No, I’m fine,” she stated. Wei Ying didn’t mind it much. Lan Zhan had never been a drinker, maybe because of how strict her family was or from how horrible her alcohol tolerance was, so Wei Ying was used to her declining.
Finally finding something for herself, Wei Ying slammed the door shut and leaned against the refrigerator door. She pulled up the edges of her lips a little when she caught Lan Zhan watching, not wanting to act too strange. She took a sip of the beer and pushed herself forward.
“Do you wanna go dancing? We don’t have to do it for long or anything, I’m just feeling a bit restless,” Wei Ying suggested.
Lan Zhan seemed to be hesitant at first, but ultimately gave her a little “Mn.”
They headed out of the kitchen and into the crowded living room. Wei Ying was quick to drag Lan Zhan to a less crowded area to make sure they wouldn’t be bothered too much. It wasn’t exactly a new thing that Lan Zhan didn’t like strangers being close to her and especially not people touching her, with maybe a slight exception when it came to her. She simply valued her personal space.
It didn’t take long before Wei Ying was dancing, probably quite chaotically, but what was the fun in dancing like a stick? Lan Zhan was dancing with her, however under this light, she simply looked like a goddess in motion. The sight made Wei Ying’s eyes soften. Strangely enough, Lan Zhan had always been splendid at dancing even if she’s like a piece of dry wood on a daily basis– or well, not that strange. Lan Zhan had told her that her uncle made her go to dancing classes when she was younger. That did for a fact explain it. Lan Zhan moved around like the world had nothing on her, or rather, she was carrying it. She couldn’t help but watch her– Lan Zhan’s defined arm muscles, her carefree face, the way a drop of sweat was sliding down Lan Zhan’s neck. Wei Ying wanted to lick it, bite it, feel her soft skin under her tongue. She wanted to taste all of her.
Only when their eyes met did Wei Ying realize that she herself had stopped dancing. She felt a little embarrassed from the way she’d been thinking about her best friend just now, but didn’t have the time to act on it because Lan Zhan came up to her until they were face to face. Wei Ying was totally caught off guard as Lan Zhan put her hands on Wei Ying’s hips, guiding them to move with the music. If it wasn’t for Lan Zhan holding her in place, Wei Ying was sure she would have collapsed by now. It wasn’t exactly any news that Wei Ying was obsessed with her best friend’s hands. Long and elegant, yet firm. Feeling them slide up to her waist, Wei Ying had to hold in a squeak.
Lan Zhan, that horrible horrible woman, had apparently not noticed in the slightest that Wei Ying was having an internal crisis, or maybe she did, but was kind enough to ignore it. Even so, Wei Ying finally calmed down enough to move her hands up to Lan Zhan’s shoulders, leaning into that intimacy she was yearning for so much, trying to treasure this moment for as long as she could. From here, she could smell that faint sandalwood scent of her. It was so soothing, making her want to bury herself in Lan Zhan’s arms and fall asleep in her embrace. She wished for so much.
However, it didn’t take her by surprise when the music suddenly switched, turning into some ear-piercing and just genuinely awful rave music. Wei Ying prayed that Nie Huaisang hadn’t made this music playlist or else she would have to rip him to shreds.
Lan Zhan instantly seemed to freeze up, dragging her warm hands away to cover her ears to block out that revolting noisy beat. At first, Wei Ying wanted to mourn her loss, but inevitably yelled loudly in hope that it could be heard over the music, “LET’S MOVE TO SOMEWHERE ELSE! I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS TRASH!”
She didn’t have to tell Lan Zhan twice. They quickly jogged away from the living room and settled in one of the million hallways in this house. After they had stopped up, Wei Ying wasted no time and slid down to the floor, letting herself lean against the smooth white wall. She felt warm and sweaty all over and used her hands to fan herself, which wasn’t really that effective, but it was all she could work with at the moment.
In front of her, Lan Zhan was standing there quietly, a soft smile on her face, making something squirm in Wei Ying’s stomach. Before she’d gotten to know Lan Zhan well, she had been so exhilarated from the mystery behind her classmate. Something inside her always itched to tease and slowly unravel what was hiding inside that girl who didn’t speak to anyone and kept giving her daggers eyes everytime she as little as muttered a word to her. Never had Wei Ying expected that she would actually be able to get under her skin. Slowly, things changed. Lan Zhan’s attitude towards her changed. It had taken Wei Ying by surprise, but she couldn’t have asked for anything else.
Wei Ying was pretty sure Lan Zhan was fond of her, and together with that came Wei Ying’s ability to unlock a whole new level of understanding of Lan Zhan.
There was one thing that didn’t change though. Wei Ying’s obsession with Lan Zhan just kept getting deeper the more she discovered. It was like testing out the waters. Trying to dip your toes in it at first, but suddenly being fully dragged into the masses of the ocean, never to resurface again. She’d been swallowed whole and there wasn’t a way out for her.
“Lan Zhan, who would’ve guessed you hid so many impressive skills under that stiff expression of yours! One day I’m sure that’s gonna be the thing that helps you steal one lucky man’s heart!”
From where Wei Ying sat, she couldn’t clearly see Lan Zhan’s expression, but a sudden silence fell upon them. Wei Ying didn’t know why she said that. She shouldn’t have said that. For a few moments, she was cursing herself out, when suddenly Lan Zhan uttered, “Wei Ying, I–”
“Wei Ying? Oh yeah, it is you! You’re really at this party too,” a dark voice broke through. Lan Zhan turned around swiftly and looked down the corridor. Wei Ying followed her gaze. Walking towards them, Lu Yan waved a little. When he’d gotten closer, he also saw Lan Zhan, his eyes instantly lighting up a little, “Lan Zhan, you’re here too. It’s good to see you,” he smiled.
Lan Zhan gave a stiff slight nod.
“What are you guys doing here? I was surprised that I didn’t see any familiar faces earlier, but just turns out you’re somewhere else.”
Wei Ying didn’t really want to talk with him right now, but didn’t want to be disrespectful and said, “We went dancing and I just needed a break. So noisy, am I right?”
“Yeah, I also needed a break, so that’s why I went here. Have you been here for long?”
She pushed herself up from the floor as she answered, “Uh, not really. An hour at most.” Wei Ying thought the conversation would be done any minute, but it seemed like Lu Yan had no plans of stopping any time soon. Wei Ying couldn’t catch much of what he was talking about, but she did know that she wanted him to stop. He even began talking about their upcoming assignments, which was probably the last thing she wanted to talk about right now, but she wasn’t sure how to get away without being rude.
It wasn’t that she disliked Lu Yan. He was genuinely a great guy, but she hadn’t come to the party to have small talk. She’d come here to have fun with Lan Zhan.
Thinking about Lan Zhan, she looked her way in hope that she would drag her out of this situation. However, when she looked, she realized that Lan Zhan was gone. Wei Ying felt her gut drop. When had she slipped away from her and how hadn’t she noticed it before? She was about to excuse herself when Lu Yan suddenly interrupted, “Ok, so I know this is probably an awkward thing for me to ask, but since you’re like the only close friend of Lan Zhan, do you know if she has a boyfriend or if she’s maybe interested in someone?”
The buzzing sound in Wei Ying’s mind grew louder and something in her started to crack up. “No, I don’t know,” she forced out. “Why are you asking?”
“Well, I kinda like her. I’ve been a bit hesitant to approach her because I don’t know how she feels about me, so I’d figured I’d check if I had a chance at all.”
The crack continued to spread, making Wei Ying soon unable to hold herself up. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream. Lan Zhan had never been hers, but at this moment, it felt like someone was trying to take Lan Zhan away from her. She was furious, but the thing that drove her even madder was that she didn’t know if Lu Yan’s feelings were mutual. Her and Lan Zan rarely talked about who they liked. Several times, Wei Ying had tried to bring up the topic, but every time, Lan Zhan would give her this look and ultimately leave Wei Ying with nothing to work with.
Before she’d gotten the chance to calm down, she snapped, “You barely know Lan Zhan! How could you know you like her?”
Lu Yan seemed too stunned to reply and just stood there gaping at her. After some moments passed, Wei Ying realized her mistake and said, “Sorry, I… I’m sure she’s available. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the toilet.”
Wei Ying didn’t care if Lu Yan was left there with no idea of what just happened. She had to leave. It was as if all of her was burning up and turning to ashes. This was so fucking ridiculous. There was no reason for her to react so hysterically to some guy just asking if her best friend was taken or not. Or maybe there was. Maybe it was because she wished she could answer that yes, she was taken and yes, she was taken by her.
At first, she tried to calm herself down. She couldn’t meet up with Lan Zhan like this after all. It took a few moments, but slowly the burning rage turned into a simmering soup. She could keep it down for now.
She finally began looking around and quickly realized that Lan Zhan had actually disappeared into thin air. A feeling of panic wrapped around her. It didn’t take long before she was frantically searching everywhere. She couldn’t even call her because she’d given her phone to Lan Zhan earlier since she didn’t have any pockets. This was one of the reasons why she was so sure she hadn’t left too. Lan Zhan would never leave her like that. Not without telling her.
After some time of searching, she went back to the living room. She couldn’t grasp where Lan Zhan could’ve possibly gone and she was now starting to become paranoid. However, just as she was about to– well she didn’t know actually, she found her. Hidden behind the big crowd, Lan Zhan was all cramped up on herself on some sofa Wei Ying didn’t even know Nie Huaisang had. She let out a relieved sigh and headed over to where she sat.
“Lan Zhan, thank god, I finally found you! You worried the living shit out of me! You just dissapeared outta nowhere, I couldn’t find you and I didn’t know where you had disappeared to. I even wondered if you’d gone home! Please don’t do that again. My fragile heart can’t take it.”
Wei Ying was so glad that she’d found Lan Zhan just now that only now did she sense that something was wrong. The way Lan Zhan was looking at her felt too sluggish– not sharp enough. A worrisome thought hit Wei Ying.
“Lan Zhan, did you drink?” In reply, Lan Zhan only glared at her. She seemed to be sulking even! Wei Ying couldn’t believe her eyes. What the hell could’ve made Lan Zhan decide to drink out of nowhere? She cursed out herself again, this time for not finding Lan Zhan sooner, and then decided to reach out to her. Yet, she was soon baffled, because Lan Zhan lightly slapped her hand away. At this point, Wei Ying didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what had happened either. She leaned down a little and asked, “Lan Zhan, what’s wrong? Why did you leave?”
She was fully ready for Lan Zhan to ignore her, but she actually let out an offended huff before murmuring, “You kept talking with him.”
Wei Ying was completely stunned at first, but then that wave of sadness hit her again. Lan Zhan had left because she kept talking to Lu Yan. Lu Yan who likes Lan Zhan– and maybe Lan Zhan likes him too.
At this point, Wei Ying felt so ridiculous. Of course Lan Zhan had left. She was probably mad about the fact that Lu Yan seemed to only pay her attention. The urge to succumb to tears was heavy, but she pushed it down and acted like there was nothing. Still, that sting in her heart kept bothering her.
She let her hand rest on Lan Zhan’s lap, trying to break the heavy mood. Lan Zhan seemed hesitant at first, but eventually calmed down enough to let herself hold onto Wei Ying’s wrist. Sensing that things had calmed down a little, Wei Ying built up the courage to ask, “Do you like Lu Yan..? Do you have feelings for him?”
She was fully ready to be hit with something she wasn’t ready to face yet, but to her surprise, Lan Zhan looked at her with such an offended look that Wei Ying couldn’t help but laugh wholeheartedly. If she didn’t have such a horrible memory, making her unable to remember possible competitors, she would probably nominate this as Lan Zhan’s biggest “what the actual fuck” face ever.
All of a sudden her laugh came to an abrupt end when she felt a piercing pain from her wrist. Lan Zhan was frowning at her, a big scowl on her face as she squeezed Wei Ying’s wrist so hard that Wei Ying was worried she’d break it.
“Ow, ow, let go, Lan Zhan! That hurts!” she yelped in pain.
Lan Zhan seemed to realize what she was doing and swiftly let go. Wei Ying was left massaging her poor wrist as she claimed defeat, “Ok, I get it. I won’t come with another stupid question!”
That seemed to be the right thing to say because Lan Zhan’s anger deflated a little. She was still acting a bit sulky, but her expression had still lightened. She was now just sitting at the sofa all defeated.
Actually, Wei Ying was incredibly relieved at the moment. For Lan Zhan to react that way just now, it probably meant that her assumption was wrong. It truly put her heart more at ease. She let out a light breath before saying, “Well, I think we should get you home. I can’t let you stay here when you’re like this.”
Lan Zhan only furrowed her brows a little when she heard that, but she didn’t reject it, so Wei Ying gladly took that as a silent agreement. Putting her arm around Lan Zhan’s back, she tried to drag her off the couch and out of Nie Huaisang’s enormous house. Lan Zhan’s steps were slightly unsteady as they walked, but if Wei Ying hadn’t known her well, she wouldn’t be able to tell that she was drunk and probably two seconds away from creating havoc if Wei Ying moved her eyes away from her. There was just something so sharp about that look in her eyes that made it look like she was sober, which she obviously wasn’t.
The cold night breeze made Wei Ying shiver, but she steeled herself against it, knowing that they were soon back in their warm apartment. However, Lan Zhan seemed to notice Wei Ying’s discomfort and spent the next few minutes coaxing, sulking, and even refusing to move until Wei Ying finally took her jacket and wore it.
She was so fucking stubborn!
Wei Ying didn’t know what to do with her. She shook her head in defeat and then stated loudly, “I’m wearing it now, happy? Now, get moving. No, aiya, not that way, Lan Zhan– oh my god, I meant towards the apartment!”
After a few failed attempts to get Lan Zhan back on track, they successfully reached the apartment to Wei Ying’s great relief. Once they were back inside, Wei Ying pulled off the jacket Lan Zhan had forced her to wear, before turning back to the menace behind her. To her great surprise, Lan Zhan was staring at her with such a warm gaze that she didn’t even know how to react.
“Uh, what?” she ended up pushing out.
“You’re so beautiful.”
If Wei Ying didn’t know how to react earlier, it was hundred times worse this time. She felt her entire face heat up. “You sure are full of compliments today, aren’t you, Lan Zhan? Maybe it’s time to get you to bed.” And with that, she pulled Lan Zhan with her towards her bedroom.
This was apparently the wrong move because the stubborn donkey was sulking again and refused to move. “You always avoid it,” she scowled.
Wei Ying was slowly becoming more and more agitated.
Lan Zhan continued, “Don’t do that. I like it when you smile. I always want Wei Ying to smile and be happy. Need the sun to shine brightly.”
At this point, Wei Ying didn’t have a clue what was going on and what Lan Zhan was yapping about all of a sudden. “Well, if you follow me now, Lan Zhan, and go peacefully into bed, I promise I will give you lots of smiles and be plenty happy. Does that sound good?” she chuckled.
That seemed to do the trick, because Lan Zhan followed gladly and was soon just in her underwear, slipped into her wide bed. The moment she lay down, her gaze locked onto Wei Ying, moving something in her. Wei Ying couldn’t help but tuck her in, a wide smile covering her face.
“Good night, Lan Zhan. Sleep well,” she muttered. After that, Wei Ying witnessed Lan Zhan slowly closing her eyes and slipping into a light slumber. She’d never looked this soft before. Originally, Wei Ying had planned on instantly leaving, but enchanted by the sight in front of her, she kept leaning over the bed, her heart going off at full alarm as she kept staring.
In the end, she couldn’t help but give into her urges. She leaned forward and kissed Lan Zhan on the forehead, letting her lips barely linger. Wei Ying quickly pulled away as she felt the shame catch up to her, but before she was fully up, a hand suddenly grabbed her head and pulled her down again.
There was barely any time for Wei Ying to process what just happened, because suddenly a pair of warm lips were lightly pressed against hers– or not really. Lan Zhan’s drunken mind had seemed to miss and was instead kissing the corner of Wei Ying’s lips. The moment was so brief that Wei Ying could barely decide if this was a figment of her imagination or not, yet, she was swiftly pulled out of it when Lan Zhan held her face in her hands as she murmured, “Good night, Wei Ying.”
Taken by surprise again, Wei Ying was this time fully pulled onto the bed, her body now draped over Lan Zhan with Lan Zhan’s hands over her waist and back, almost like she was hugging Wei Ying. She let out a squeak from feeling the sudden press of Lan Zhan’s hands, feeling like she was moments away from passing out from the lack of air in her lungs.
What the actual fuck was happening? What the fuck just happened?
Wei Ying repeated those questions in her mind maybe a million times, but clarity never came to her. It was simply a constant loop of feeling like this was all an illusion. Maybe it was just Wei Ying overreacting and reading too much into her best friend’s actions.
Lan Zhan had kissed her.
She had pulled her down and pressed their lips together. On one side, Wei Ying felt that maybe there was a flicker of chance that Lan Zhan liked her– but Lan Zhan was drunk. She couldn’t think clearly and maybe she thought Wei Ying was someone else or maybe she just acted on basic urges. As far as she was aware, Lan Zhan didn’t even like girls, so maybe this was just her testing out something. That possibly being the case made Wei Ying feel nauseous. The thought alone tore at her skin and slowly ripped her apart.
Wei Ying was in such utter shambles from confusion that she wasn’t sure if she ever fell asleep. Her heart was just beating too rapidly and her thoughts flew in all directions all night.
Should she bring this up in the morning and risk the possibility of creating an awkward situation– or even worse, accidentally confess her feelings and be met with rejection?
She couldn’t lose Lan Zhan.
Lan Zhan wasn’t just the one she liked– she was her roommate, her best friend, she was her everything and not having her in her life would be like Wei Ying getting her heart ripped out. She didn’t know what to do. Because on one side, she was terrified of rejection, but on the other one, another thought was lingering. What if… What if Lan Zhan liked her and this was her one chance?
This was driving her fucking mad!
In the end, she ended up being like this until she saw the sunlight peak through the curtains.
Wei Ying had truly not been through such a restless night before. When she decided to get up, untangling herself from Lan Zhan’s tight hold, it was still early in the morning, or it was for her at least. Lan Zhan was usually already up and going at this time, but today she wasn’t. As Wei Ying went out of the room, she ended up grabbing some painkillers and a glass of water. She’d wanted to make some honey water for Lan Zhan, but she realized that her hands were too shaky to do anything.
After entering Lan Zhan’s room again, Wei Ying noticed that she’d already begun to stir, most likely either from Wei Ying’s departure or return. She really tried to seem as normal as possible as she lay down the items on the nightstand, a sleepy and slightly hungover Lan Zhan watching her.
“I brought you some water and painkillers.” She tried to flash Lan Zhan a cheeky smile, but it inevitably ended up becoming too strained. Lan Zhan noticed it.
“Thank you,” she muttered. Then Lan Zhan took out the painkiller and swallowed it down with the water. She only put the glass down after she was done, not leaving a single drop left. The room was dead silent.
For a moment, Wei Ying felt like she was gonna die from the tense mood, so as the coward she was, she decided to flee. “You’re probably tired and all, so I’ll get out of your hair!” she exclaimed, heading out as if her life depended on it.
It was first when she was by the door that something in her made her hesitate. She stopped up and took a quick look back. What she was met with was Lan Zhan looking at her with such despair and conflict that Wei Ying completely stopped in her tracks. She couldn’t handle seeing Lan Zhan like that. She hated it. And when Wei Ying thought it over, wouldn’t her leaving possibly make the situation even worse?
So in the end, she didn’t leave. Instead, she looked at Lan Zhan, anxiety filling her entire body as she asked, “Lan Zhan…Just how much do you remember from last night?”
That seemed to hit a nerve, because Lan Zhan broke eye contact, refusing to meet Wei Ying’s eye as she revealed, “...a little.”
“How little is little? What do you remember..?”
Lan Zhan’s expression was so strained. “Wei Ying, I…” She seemed hesitant to continue, but eventually pulled through. “I am sorry. I should not have done that.”
Wei Ying could feel the moment her heart shattered. She really tried to hold herself together, but there was no way Lan Zhan couldn’t see how upset she was.
Lan Zhan regretted it. Lan Zhan didn’t mean it.
For a second, Wei Ying wanted to run again, but she could tell Lan Zhan wasn’t done yet. No matter how hurt she was, she wouldn’t do something like that to her best friend.
“What I did was unreasonable and childish,” Lan Zhan continued, the knife being twisted deeper into Wei Ying’s chest. “I did not plan to do that. I did not plan to drink either, but when I saw you with Lu Yan, I felt aggravated. I was frustrated and acted out on self pity… and then impulse.”
The more Wei Ying listened, the more she felt like things weren’t making sense. She couldn’t understand why she was mentioning Lu Yan out of nowhere. “Lu Yan? What does this have to do with Lu Yan? Lan Zhan, you’re not making sense here.”
“I was jealous of him,” she said.
“Why would you be jealous of him?”
“Because I thought he liked you.”
Everything stilled in Wei Ying’s head. At first, she couldn’t understand what was going on, but now, it was as if something was slowly becoming clear to her.
Still, she yelled out in confusion. “Liked me? He likes you, Lan Zhan! He told me himself. That’s why he came up to me in the first place. He came just to ask if you were taken. You also left when that happened, so I thought you maybe liked him! I mean, before you tried to break my hand from how mad you got when I asked you about that. I just couldn’t understand why else you would leave so suddenly.”
“Wei Ying, I’m a lesbian.”
“Wait…what?” Wei Ying stuttered.
It was as if her entire world was being flipped around, thrown into chaos. She wasn’t sure how to feel. In one way, this made her feel hopeful, but it also stinged her heart with hurt because why didn’t she know? She was Lan Zhan’s best friend and Wei Ying would always tell her everything. She’d always assumed it was the same the other way around, but maybe not. Had Lan Zhan truly never trusted her enough to say anything?
“Since when? Lan Zhan, Why haven’t you ever told me..?”
“Since always, and I did tell you.” Seeing Wei Ying’s lost expression, Lan Zhan continued, “You once asked me if I liked our classmate and I told you that I don’t like men.”
“But I just… I thought you were trying to deflect my teasing or that you just meant that you weren’t interested in anyone,” Wei Ying said.
“Wei Ying, I confessed to you. The Christmas party at the end of our third semester.”
Wei Ying felt like she’d been dunked in ice cold water. For a moment, she stood there completely speechless. She couldn’t believe this– she simply didn’t know how to. She’d always seen Lan Zhan so out of reach, but without knowing it, Lan Zhan had always been right in front of her waiting for her.
At last, Wei Ying muttered, “You what?”
“...You don’t remember?” Lan Zhan asked, her fists clenched tightly.
Wei Ying let out a heavy scoff, but her face screamed nothing but heartache. “Well, Lan Zhan, I’m sure we wouldn’t be standing here, having this conversation if I remembered it.”
Lan Zhan seemed to take in a deep breath before she looked at Wei Ying again. Her gold eyes pierced through Wei Ying, making shivers run down her back. “I found you in the hallway all alone after our argument. You were sitting on the floor and I tried to bring you home because you weren’t looking too good. Yet, you only got mad and yelled at me, telling me that I’ve never cared for you, and that I shouldn’t start doing it now. I was worried you wouldn’t believe how much I care for you, so I confessed to you, but you only told me to get lost.”
Her eyes flickered a little. “And that’s what I did. The next morning you acted like nothing happened and kept flirting with me like you normally do. I thought that it was your way of rejecting me nicely.”
For a moment, Wei Ying could only look at Lan Zhan with disbelief. Her entire chest was enveloped by this burning feeling, like she couldn’t breathe. Before she knew it, her sight was turning blurry. Wei Ying explained slowly, a slight tremble in her voice, “I don’t remember anything from that party, except for the fact that I got so wasted that I had ended up blacking out, and had the worst hangover of my life the following day. I don’t remember anything else except that. Lan Zhan, I would never reject you.” Lan Zhan’s eyes were wide open as she looked at Wei Ying, her mouth slightly gaping as if she couldn’t comprehend what she was saying. Wei Ying still continued under her gaze, “How could I reject you when it’s you? Don’t you know that you’re literally my everything? I’d have to be mad not to want you!”
She stepped forward, leaning down as she put her fingers gently over Lan Zhan’s cheeks. She held her face so lightly with her hands, almost as if Wei Ying was holding a fragile, but precious treasure. “Do you even know what you do to me?”
Wei Ying could feel Lan Zhan’s warmth, enveloping her fingertips and covering her palms. Suddenly she felt something more. Her knuckles, her wrists were now covered by this warmth too. Lan Zhan had laid her hands on top of hers, holding them in place, almost as if she was worried that Wei Ying would ever let go. As if she could ever bring herself to do so.
Something snapped in Wei Ying, making her lean in, her lips soon pressed against Lan Zhan’s. The touch was light, almost as if she was giving Lan Zhan the opportunity to pull back.
She didn’t.
Instead, she leaned back into it, moving her hands to Wei Ying’s neck, pulling her in. The kiss started out a little clumsy, their teeth clinking awkwardly against each other. The angle was a little awkward too, yet it didn’t take long before they got the hang of it, making it feel as natural as breathing air. Lan Zhan’s skin was burning hot against her and Wei Ying wanted nothing more than to feel all of it pressed up against her bare skin. Without realizing it, she’d settled into Lan Zhan’s lap, grinding against her as she let out an unsteady breath.
There was a rhythm to what they're doing, and it didn’t take long before Wei Ying was completely lost in Lan Zhan’s presence. She was tracing every curve and corner of her lips, of her mouth, wanting to feel it all over her. She wanted her clothes off, she wanted Lan Zhan to ravage her and devour her whole. Lan Zhan was kissing her open-mouthed, making Wei Ying’s mind spin around. Suddenly Wei Ying felt Lan Zhan’s hand on her waist, pressing her closer. The sudden change made Wei Ying’s legs spread slightly and before she knew it, she felt Lan Zhan grinding back. A loud moan escaped her lips. For a moment, she froze in embarrassment, almost too scared to look up because of it. Yet, as she finally looked at Lan Zhan, all she could see was hunger.
“Lan Zhan–” she breathed out, but before she was able to finish, Lan Zhan’s hot mouth was already on her neck, sucking slighty on her skin. Wei Ying felt as if she was going mad, panting desperately as Lan Zhan’s hands were moving up her sides, soon tracing her boobs. Wei Ying let out a moan again, letting herself grind into Lan Zhan again.
That seemed to set off something in Lan Zhan, because she sank her teeth into Wei Ying’s neck. That was definitely going to leave a mark. The thought of that turned on Wei Ying even further.
Lan Zhan seemed to be on a mission though because she began trying to take off Wei Ying’s shirt, pressing small kisses down her chest as she muttered, “Is this ok?”
A little breathless, Wei Ying murmured, “Yeah…”
Soon her shirt was off and Lan Zhan’s gaze was even hungrier. It really looked like she wanted to devour her whole, something Wei Ying would never say no to. Lan Zhan’s hands were moving up her sides again, but now feeling them on her bare skin, Wei Ying couldn’t help but shiver, breathing heavily into their kiss. It didn’t take long until Lan Zhan was fumbling with her bra, trying to get it off. In response, Wei Ying deepened the kiss as she tried to tug off Lan Zhan’s shirt. She was on a mission too after all.
Lan Zhan exhaled, her face pressed into Wei Ying’s hair as she traced her fingers over her bare back. At this point, Wei Ying was already starting to pant. She wanted Lan Zhan’s long fingers to trace all over her skin. She wanted them inside her– wanted Lan Zhan’s fingers to fuck her good until she could barely stand.
It was all too much, yet all too little. Lan Zhan was still too dressed. “Lan Zhan, I want to see you…” she said.
To that, her best friend simply hummed with content and quickly did as requested. It didn’t take long before she had tugged off her pants and her underwear, throwing them mindlessly to the ground. Lan Zhan was standing there all naked in front of her. Wei Ying was feeling a little awkward about her own nudity just now, but seeing Lan Zhan look at her like she wanted nothing more than to open her up and wreck her completely, Wei Ying quickly forgot about it, peeling off her own pants too.
The distance between them was soon gone again. Wei Ying was back on Lan Zhan’s lap, taking a moment to admire the beautiful sight in front of her. The beautiful curve of her back, her broad shoulders and toned arms. She wanted to admire it all.
She was getting lost in her thoughts, thus Lan Zhan suddenly grabbed her chin, moving Wei Ying’s attention again. There was a slight curve to the edges of Lan Zhan’s lips and her hair already looked disheveled. Wei Ying’s face softened further– Lan Zhan had never looked more beautiful.
Lan Zhan began leaving soft kisses all over Wei Ying’s face– a few on her cheeks, one on her nose and one on her forehead before ending with a firm one on her lips. This kiss was nothing rushed, just a comforting touch, yet the kiss seemed to reignite their urges. Lan Zhan quickly escalated it, tracing every single corner of Wei Ying’s mouth as she moved her hands up to cup Wei Ying’s breasts. The sudden touch made Wei Ying’s breath turn shallow and rough, small whimpers coming out her mouth as Lan Zhan folded them, running her thumb over her nipples.
She pushed Wei Ying down onto the mattress and just a moment later, the hands on her breasts were replaced with Lan Zhan’s hot mouth. Her tongue was moving slowly, as if it was treasuring every inch of skin that it came in touch with. It ran over Wei Ying’s nipple a few times, before moving over to her other breast. Wei Ying arched her back as she felt Lan Zhan suck a little harder.
“Fuck–” Wei Ying moaned as she grinded against the air, wanting nothing more than some friction but to no avail. She was feeling hot all over, her body aching after Lan Zhan’s touch. The movement seemed to have caught Lan Zhan’s attention because she leaned in towards Wei Ying’s ear, her breathing uneven as she stated, “Let me help you with that.”
Wei Ying gave her a slight look, “Lan Zhan, what are you…” Yet, before she was able to finish, she could already feel Lan Zhan’s hands running up the insides of her thighs, soon tracing the edges of her soaked underwear. She was already remarkably wet and she knew Lan Zhan could clearly see it.
A deep flush spread over Wei Ying’s face as she noticed that Lan Zhan kept staring. However, Lan Zhan paid Wei Ying’s embarrassment no mind and instead started tugging at Wei Ying’s waistband, kissing her collarbone as she asked, “Can I?”
“Please,” Wei Ying begged.
After getting the permission she wanted, Lan Zhan was quick to pull her underwear off and bring her hands up inner thighs again. This time though, she let her fingers ghost and brush lightly around Wei Ying’s entrance, giving herself a moment to feel the radiating heat. It was making her mind spin with desire. Lan Zhan then slid her fingers through Wei Ying’s cunt before pressing down on her clit, moving around with small motions. Just from that alone, Wei Ying had already begun twitching under her touch, letting out soft murmurs begging for her. Her arms were reaching out as if she was grabbing for Lan Zhan, and how could she ever deny her? Leaning into Wei Ying’s presence, it didn’t take long before Wei Ying’s arms were wrapped around her, her nails slightly scratching Lan Zhan’s back as she leaned into her touch.
Wei Ying was almost too lost in this sensation, so lost that she almost missed when Lan Zhan slipped a finger into her. It slipped in easily with no resistance. She wanted to clench on it, but it wasn’t enough. She needed more.
A low sob came out of Wei Ying’s throat as she begged, “Lan Zhan, I need more… I– Ah!” Lan Zhan was quick to work her open with two fingers, scissoring them inside her, leaving Wei Ying only able to rock down on her fingers as she panted loudly. Her fingers were so long and graceful. She’d always wanted to know how they’d feel and now, finally feeling them in her, she wasn’t sure how she would survive from this. It was simply too good to comprehend.
She knew she was babbling again mindlessly into Lan Zhan’s ear, choking out fucked up little noises as Lan Zhan worked her up to a third finger. Though it didn’t seem like she minded, rather picking up speed from her constant pleads.
As she pushed in a third finger, Wei Ying let out a moan. Lan Zhan sunk it into her carefully, moving her fingers slowly into her wet cunt. It was agonizing. Wei Ying sucked in a deep breath as she tried to grind against her fingers, forcing Lan Zhan to pick up speed. She wasn’t fragile after all. She wanted Lan Zhan to be rough with her, to use her. For several moments, Wei Ying kept rocking down, however, Lan Zhan had noticed her impatience and roughened her movements. The sudden change made Lan Zhan hit a spot in her that made her almost see stars.
“Fuck, Lan Zhan... Do that again,” she choked out.
Lan Zhan’s gaze darkened and she picked up speed again, aiming at that spot again purposely. That seemed to be the right move because Wei Ying’s fingers dug into her back, scraping her skin while low murmurs of Lan Zhan’s name kept slipping out of her lips. Slowly but surely, Wei Ying was starting to tense up, her movements turning disoriented. Tears had formed in her eyes as Lan Zhan kept fucking her fingers into her.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan called out hoarsely just as Wei Ying was about to tip over the edge. Hearing her name being murmured into her skin as she felt Lan Zhan’s fingers drive into her, it finally tipped her over. Wei Ying threw her head back as a deep sensation and pleasure went through her body, a loud moan escaping her lips as she clenched down on the fingers inside her. She chased after the feeling, panting as she tried to hold on to it for a little longer.
Wei Ying wasn’t sure for how long she’d been out of it, but the moment she came back to her senses, all she could see was Lan Zhan with her hands wrapped around her, leaving soft kisses against her kiss stomach to comfort her. Lan Zhan must’ve sensed her movements, because she raised her head and moved all her attention to her face as if she was studying a treasure. The sight brought a warm ache in Wei Ying’s chest. She couldn’t help but smile at Lan Zhan idiotically before pulling her towards her tightly just to feel her lips on hers again. Lan Zhan responded hungrily back, sucking on Wei Ying’s tongue, pulling a groan out of her. Wei Ying’s eyes were still moist from earlier, but as of now, she could only feel the heat of Lan Zhan’s skin against hers and nothing else. It was driving her mad.
As they parted to catch their breath, Wei Ying let out a low chuckle as she teased breathlessly, “Lan Zhan, who knew you’d be so good at this? What kind of secrets have you been hiding from me?”
Lan Zhan gave her an amused look, maybe a bit aggrieved too, making Wei Ying laugh. “Aiya, don’t tell me I’m your first. There’s no way.”
Before Wei Ying could take it in, Lan Zhan had sunk her teeth into her neck sucking on it again. “Ow, Lan Zhan, you dog! You really like biting me, huh?!” Wei Ying exclaimed. That would definitely leave a mark.
She let out a short huff as Lan Zhan settled her head on her chest. Wei Ying figured Lan Zhan wouldn’t comment more on it, but to her surprise, she muttered, “Not my first.”
“Huh, what did you say?”
“You’re not my first. I did not think I could ever have you… so I found outlets elsewhere in hope that it would help,” Lan Zhan explained calmly. Even then, something about what Lan Zhan said had pulled at Wei Ying’s heartstrings.
“And did it help?” she asked at last.
“No.”
“Well now you have me,” Wei Ying said encouragingly, her arms pulling Lan Zhan closer to her. She left a soft kiss on her head, “You’ll have me for as long as you want me.” Lan Zhan nodded slightly, but she didn’t reply, rather hiding herself in Wei Ying’s embrace. At first, Wei Ying didn’t find it strange, but soon she felt something warm on her chest.
Lan Zhan was crying.
The realization was like a fatal kick, making Wei Ying frown out of anguish. It struck her– Lan Zhan had truly believed she could never like her back. The thought of Lan Zhan longing for her for this long with no hope for reciprocation was tormenting.
She pulled up Lan Zhan’s face so she could see her clearly, and as she’d expected, silent tears were flowing down her pretty face. For a second, it looked like Lan Zhan wanted to pull away from her grip– to hide her vulnerability she so badly wanted gone, yet she didn’t move. She was all in, palms out. She was at Wei Ying’s mercy, ready to let Wei Ying see her wounds.
Wei Ying was quick to dry the tears with her fingers as she left soft kisses on her eyelids and her cheeks. Lan Zhan was squirming under Wei Ying’s soft touches, a buried uneasiness and uncertainty trying to hold her back. Yet, Wei Ying remained a gentle presence. Softly, she murmured comforting and affirming words to Lan Zhan while her skin was under her lips, holding her until she’d calmed down a little. As the tears finally dried, it seemed like Lan Zhan began to settle.
Seeing Lan Zhan all curled up on her, Wei Ying realized how little Lan Zhan had let herself take before this. She’d always taken care of Wei Ying, giving her whatever she wanted. She didn’t even have to ask. It was as if Lan Zhan always knew what Wei Ying needed and giving it to her was as natural as breathing. It was fundamental for her. Maybe Wei Ying had always assumed that was just how Lan Zhan was– that she was a giver. She never seemed to want anything back. However, Wei Ying was now hit with the realization that Lan Zhan never cared about herself and her needs, perhaps because she didn’t want to risk taking too much. Taking anything at all could possibly cross that line Lan Zhan seemed so terrified of crossing, so maybe it was safer to ask for nothing after all.
God, how had Wei Ying never realized this before now? It didn’t matter what the case was, Lan Zhan never put herself first. It was always Wei Ying.
“Lan Zhan, you haven’t come yet.”
Wei Ying’s words caught Lan Zhan off guard, yet she swiftly replied offhandedly, “I’m fine as long as Wei Ying is happy.”
That only made Wei Ying frown a little. She expressed, “I won’t be happy unless you’ve gotten your share too. Won’t you indulge me a little and allow me to spoil you too?” Lan Zhan looked at her and was met with Wei Ying’s shameless smile. She knew exactly what she was doing.
“I’m not used to receiving,” Lan Zhan said, her ears emitting a slight pink flush.
“Well, that doesn’t mean you never can, unless that’s what you want.”
Wei Ying was met with silence as if Lan Zhan couldn’t fathom what she was suggesting. She let it hang in the air for some time to give Lan Zhan time to think, before she voiced, “Then what do you say, Lan Zhan? What do you want?”
“I…” Lan Zhan hesitated, but inevitably stated, “I just want you.”
“Then take whatever you want from me.”
“You mean for me to use you?” Lan Zhan’s eyes darkened.
Wei Ying’s breath hitched slightly, “Yes.” She leaned towards Lan Zhan’s ear, letting her warm breath linger as she whispered, “Use me, Lan Zhan.”
She could feel Lan Zhan stutter slightly, probably taken aback from Wei Ying’s sudden straightforwardness, yet she was quick to pull herself back in. Lan Zhan pulled back to meet Wei Ying’s gaze before she dived in to kiss her senseless. The sudden intrusion made Wei Ying whimper which only seemed to excite Lan Zhan even more. Lan Zhan really liked to hear her, huh.
She pinned Wei Ying to the bed as she continued kissing her and settled her thighs on Wei Ying’s stomach. Feeling the pressure of Lan Zhan’s weight all over her was a lot hotter than Wei Ying had expected and now realized she couldn’t get enough of it. Lan Zhan’s actions turned more imprecise, almost as if she couldn’t take in everything she’d been served in front of her. It was quite thrilling knowing she was the one making Lan Zhan act so out of order. Her lips soon traveled down Wei Ying’s neck and down her chest, working her mouth over skin like she couldn’t get enough of it, leaving Wei Ying gasping, her breath heavy.
As she moved further down with her mouth, Lan Zhan scooted back a bit, settling on Wei Ying’s thigh while her big hands felt up Wei Ying’s sides, taking and feeling all of her. They were kneading softly into her skin, taking in all the warmth Lan Zhan could get from her. Eventually they skimmed upwards to fold her tits gently, pulling out another moan from Wei Ying as Lan Zhan continued rubbing at her nipples.
It didn’t take long before Wei Ying felt Lan Zhan move against her, her hips rocking slowly against Wei Ying’s bare thigh. It was incredibly hot. Lan Zhan was still working her mouth on her, taking in all of her. She was using Wei Ying to get off and strangely enough, Wei Ying didn’t think she’d ever been this turned on before. She would give Lan Zhan anything she asked for.
As Lan Zhan grinded against her, she eventually quickened her pace, soft pants coming out of her mouth as she continued. She went back to kissing Wei Ying. The kisses were imprecise and messy, but it didn’t matter. It was still driving them both insane. Lan Zhan then removed her hand from Wei Ying’s chest to press down small circles on her own clit. Her movements grew hastier and Wei Ying knew she was close. She muttered dirty words against Lan Zhan’s lips, riling her up exactly like she used to do back then when they’d gotten to know each other. Back then, Lan Zhan would always reply with rage and irritation when Wei Ying teased her. She always called her shameless before stomping away in fury like she couldn’t bear to stay around Wei Ying for a second longer. It was only at this point that Wei Ying realized that perhaps there was another reason why Lan Zhan reacted so strongly to her shameless comments.
Wei Ying let her nails sink into Lan Zhan’s back, her own words becoming less clear the more Lan Zhan grinded against her. At last she finally felt Lan Zhan shudder against her, letting out a low but dark moan. Lan Zhan had never been one to be vocal, but hearing her like this, Wei Ying felt like she was truly the luckiest girl on the planet.
As she finished, Lan Zhan still rocked against her slightly until her orgasm had subdued. Only then did she let her body relax, finally settling on top of Wei Ying, her nose nuzzling against Wei Ying’s neck and her thumb circling soft circles on her waist. Lan Zhan was mumbling her name against Wei Ying’s skin like it was a soft prayer or a gentle reminder for herself that this was real. She was here with Wei Ying and Wei Ying wasn’t going anywhere.
Wei Ying stroked her hand over Lan Zhan’s nape before leaving a soft kiss on the top of her head. Their breaths were equally disoriented and their warm bodies were pressed against each other like it was the most natural thing ever. There was something so intimate about seeing Lan Zhan like this, Wei Ying thought. She wanted to hold Lan Zhan in her arms forever like that was all that mattered in life.
“Lan Zhan,” she muttered back. That simply made Lan Zhan bury her face further into Wei Ying’s embrace, breathing her in.
For a while, they just stayed like that. Maybe none of them wished to break off the moment, worried where this would lead. Lan Zhan liked her, Wei Ying knew that much. Lan Zhan also knew that Wei Ying liked her, but what did that mean for their relationship? In some ways, the answer should be obvious, but that voice at the back of Wei Ying’s mind made her doubt it.
She let her fingers stroke lightly over Lan Zhan’s shoulder, taking in a deep breath before she finally asked, “Lan Zhan, what are we now?”
That seemed to stir Lan Zhan out of her trance, her head tilting up to look at Wei Ying. For a moment, her gaze wavered as if she was uncertain herself.
“...I don’t know. What do you want?” she replied at last. Wei Ying could feel Lan Zhan tense up against her as if she was dreading the worst answer from her. It was as if nothing had truly woken her up from this endless illusion of an unrequited love and now she was preparing for the impact.
“Lan Zhan, look at me,” and she did. She always listened to Wei Ying so earnestly as if her words were the law. Wei Ying stroked Lan Zhan’s cheek as she voiced, “I want you. So fucking much.”
Lan Zhan was watching her silently as if she couldn’t assemble her thoughts or as if her words were trapped in her throat. Her eyebrows furrowed and her grip on Wei Ying’s waist tightened.
Either way, Wei Ying continued warmly, “Lan Zhan, I mean it. I want to hold hands when we’re together like I always force you to do. I want to go on dates with you. Doesn’t matter what or where– I just want to be with you. I want to be able to call you my girlfriend and brag about you to others and be proud that you’re mine. I want your hands on me always because they drive me mad, I want for you to kiss me and fuck me senseless every day. I want it all, as long as it’s you. Do you get it?”
Suddenly Wei Ying felt Lan Zhan’s lips on her, the press warmth of her lips being all that mattered. Lan Zhan kissed her senseless like she couldn’t get enough of Wei Ying’s mouth. She kissed her messily, but with so much fondness that Wei Ying could feel her heart skip a beat.
When Lan Zhan finally calmed down a little, now just leaving small soft kisses on Wei Ying’s lips in-between her breaths, Wei Ying was already feeling dizzy, maybe from the lack of air or from excitement. Either way, she couldn’t feel her legs at all.
“Want you, need you, love you…” Lan Zhan was muttering between each kiss as if they were small prayers only for a deity to hear. For each kiss Lan Zhan gave her, Wei Ying could feel her feelings swell, like a never-ending ocean that somehow kept expanding. She couldn’t help but grin widely at Lan Zhan, making Lan Zhan stop up to watch her silently from above. The corners of her lips were tilted upwards while her eyes watched Wei Ying with so much affection.
Wei Ying loved her so much.
She loved the way she had learned to read Lan Zhan so easily, knowing others couldn’t. The small changes in her expression, the way she spoke so much with her body, even if others claimed she didn’t. It was for Wei Ying to understand, to love, and treasure.
Wei Ying slowly pulled Lan Zhan down until they were both resting on the bed, their faces a few inches apart. They were both sticky and sweaty from earlier, but as of right now, Wei Ying couldn’t care any less. She left a final soft kiss on Lan Zhan’s lips before she buried herself into Lan Zhan’s neck, naked but warm.
Wei Ying was fully wrapped in Lan Zhan embrace, exactly how it should be.