Chapter Text
There’s no amount of ‘what the fuck am I doing?’s running through Natalie’s head seem powerful enough to stop her from actually doing this. She’s haphazardly throwing clothes into her duffel bag trying to rationalize what the hell is even going on.
She’s starting to realize that Jackie doesn’t really think things through; how’d she get involved with the guy? How’d she ended up engaged to him? How’s she in her apartment right now asking to run away?
What the fuck am I doing?
She’s looking for warm clothes to quickly pack and when she glances behind her, there’s Jackie standing by the door. Natalie wonders if she knocked and she missed it. They stare at each other in silence for a few seconds until Nat’s eyes fall on Jackie’s purse, and it occurs to her that she came all the way here asking to be whisked away for several days without packing any clothes. Just a white dress and a trench coat.
Again, it seems confirmed to Nat that Jackie didn’t think this through.
She turns back around and packs clothes for Jackie’s sake, but it seems like they’ll have to shop for more regardless.
When the silence is too awkward, Nat breaks it and asks, “how’d you even know where I live?”
“Tai told me that you and Van live together,” Jackie says, slowly entering the room.
“She gave you the address or something?”
“No. She told me a long time ago it was the name of this building. I didn’t even know where it was, I just told the taxi.”
Nat turns around. “So how’d you figure out the apartment door?” She asks, confused.
“I knocked on a few doors and asked for your name,” Jackie shrugs.
“Huh,” Nat’s sort of stumped at Jackie’s persistence. “Ballsy.”
They’re quiet again and when Nat recounts the conversation in her head, she lands on something. “You asked Taissa about me?” She inquires with her back turned, pretending to sort her clothes in the bag to hide from how embarrassing that question sounds.
“Of course, I did.”
She zips her bag and throws it over her shoulder. They pause for a moment and stare into each other’s eyes. They’re hazel again. Like the ones she remembers from her dreams.
But there’s something different. She can’t tell if the difference is in herself or in Jackie.
“Are we leaving now?” Jackie meekly asks, knowing that she can’t be too demanding from now on.
And Nat remembers that she’s confused again; what the hell is she doing? How did they end up here? As much as she wants to be pissed at Jackie, she’s aware that Jackie can’t actually force her to do this. Yes, she can be stubborn, pouty, and childish but that’s kind of her limit. Nat can sit her ass down on the couch and Jackie would eventually leave.
But Nat promised. Even if the promise has been repurposed, she still promised. And she’s always been weak staring at those eyes.
“Yeah,” Nat sighs, fingers threading through her dark hair. “Just a few minutes.”
They’re not hunting today. They managed to catch a skinny dear and a few rabbits yesterday so they’re taking the day off. Nat still feels antsy staying inside the cabin, even hanging around it. So, she picks herself up and walks towards the lake.
The large trees greet her from every direction, engulfing her, while sunlight sneaks through the leaves and she reaches out to touch the light with her fingers. Time moves so slowly here, it would’ve been so nice if she had her Walkman right now.
She’s kicking on a rock, following its trail when she hears a twig cracking behind. She instinctively turns around and almost goes for the rifle that’s not on her shoulder.
It’s just Jackie walking behind her.
They don’t say anything, but Nat just sends her a small smile and Jackie does the same thing except there’s a sneaky crinkle in her eyes that only she can see. Quietly, she turns around and continues walking.
She knows what Jackie is thinking. This is on purpose. The same way it’s on purpose when Nat diverts her trail away from the lake and walks further into the thick trees, knowingly away from any possible eyes.
Nat finally stops and leans by a tree. She’s wearing an amused smirk. “So, what’s up, Taylor?”
Jackie’s a few feet away from her. “I’ve been thinking—“
“Uh-oh.”
“Shut up,” Jackie makes an annoyed face at her. “I’ve been thinking that we might die here.”
Okay, so she’s a bit too casual about this.
“What, you got no faith in Tai’s master plan?” Nat asks her, it’s a little pointed.
“Nat,” Jackie huffs out a small laugh and walks closer to her. “If we were just a hike away from civilization then they would’ve found us a while ago.”
“Who wore you down, huh?” Nat asks jokingly. “Since when were you the cynical one?”
But if she’s being truthful, Nat didn’t even have the heart to tell Van that she had the worst gut feeling about their mission. She knows, in her heart of hearts, that this won’t work.
“Well, our circumstances aren’t exactly fancy and luxurious,” she vaguely waves her arms towards the trees surrounding them.
“Hmm,” Nat shrugs. She leans her head on the tree. “Why’d you follow me out here, Jack?“
Nat already knows.
“I was just thinking that it doesn’t really—“ she stops and looks down, biting on her lower lip like she knows this is maybe a little embarrassing, a little vulnerable. Then, she inhales and looks into Nat, “our agreement from back home doesn’t really make a difference here.”
“That was a pretty sturdy agreement though.” She steps towards Jackie. Her hand going to her hip, a faint ghostly touch. They haven’t been this close in a while. Jackie can see all the sunburn marks on Nat’s face. Nat got it worse than most of them, she’s never been able to really tan with how pale she is.
“It didn’t include a clause for a plane crash in the middle of nowhere.” She keeps her stare right into Nat’s eyes, pulling the hand from her hip, putting it on her back underneath her stupid sweater vest and shirt. “I think we can mess around a little bit,” she says with a sly grin, arms going to wrap around her neck. “It won’t really matter.”
It’s Natalie who cuts the distance between them and finally connects their lips. Oh, they’re both so hungry and eager, already tripping back that Nat’s back hits the tree again. She barely feels it as she’s too enthralled with Jackie being in her arms again.
She’s right. It doesn’t really matter. They’re all dying anyway. At least there’s no expectations this time, truly.
Nat’s waiting for Jackie in the living room. She’s staring at the picture again, realizing that this happy version of them will only ever exist in the confines of the picture frame, just like how they couldn’t exist in the wilderness without the promise of imminent death. What’s holding them together this time?
Jackie exits the bathroom and wears her coat again. “Ready to go?”
Nat looks at her as she takes her hair out from the collar of her coat. She remembers the picture Van took of them, remembers Jackie walking behind her in the woods, and it clicks in her head about what’s different this time.
“Yeah,” she nods and heads to the door with her duffel.
I can’t read your mind anymore.
“This is your car?” Jackie asks with a shocked face. Her eyes looked at the keys in Nat’s hands just to make sure.
“Yeah,” she laughs, finding Jackie’s wonder funny. “That’s my baby.”
It’s really not her baby. She’s barely driven it if she’s being honest. It’s just what people say about their precious cars.
“Nat, why the hell do you have a red Corvette?” Jackie looks at her with a genuine smile, very truly amused by it.
“I thought I deserved a little something after all that,” she coolly shrugs.
“It’s definitely something.”
“Do you like it?”
“I love it.” Jackie looks at her with a glimmer in her eyes. At least Nat knows that the nervous frown wasn’t a permanent feature on her face.
And for a moment, this all feels like it could be fun and lighthearted. In a way, the invisibility Jackie is asking for might be an escape, where they’re playing a weird reiteration of Thelma and Louise.
“Well, hop in.”
Nat goes back to throw the duffel bag in the truck, wishing this car had backseats but then again, it was a spontaneous purchase, she wasn’t thinking about the practicality of everything. She goes to the driver's seat and puts her trusty small shoulder bag by Jackie’s legs, and she drives off from the parking lot into the darkening skies, accepting whatever’s to come her way.
“So when you said you’d take care of everything,” Nat says. “What does that exactly mean?”
“I’ll sponsor this whole trip,” Jackie says surely. “I got like six hundred dollars on me. Hard cash.”
“Cash?!” Nat repeats in shock. “Why the fuck are you walking around with six hundred dollars cash?! Are you nuts?! Why is Jackie Taylor not swiping her credit card left and right?”
“I told you,” Jackie shrugs casually. “We’re going off the grid. It’s cash only.”
“That’s actually a relief to hear.”
“Why?”
“My debit card expired a few months ago.”
Jackie lets out a hearty laugh and shakes her head at Nat. She’s glad there doesn’t seem to be this crazy suffocating tension between them. She almost forgot that, at some point, Jackie was like her best friend.
So, Natalie can’t be blamed when she says, “you know, I’d actually really appreciate it if you told me why you’re here.” It’s free of malice and judgement, the tone indicates no frustration.
“I told you.” Jackie sits up straighter. “I can’t get married.”
“Not that part.”
“What do you mean?”
“How did you even get engaged to that Edward guy?” Nat glances at her.
Jackie shrinks into herself, shuddering a little bit. Nat wonders why she didn’t ask for a change of clothes, she feels bad for forgetting to offer something.
“We get along pretty well,” she replies meekly. “Just so you know.”
“That doesn’t mean you should marry him,” Nat says. “Even date him, Jack. Like, I thought you didn’t even like guys. Did that change or something?”
“No,” Jackie says quietly, her head facing the window.
They stop at the red light and Nat’s just staring at Jackie, baffled.
“What?”
“What?” Jackie repeats, getting annoyed.
“What the hell were you doing with him then?” and when Jackie doesn’t say anything, Nat’s head just jumps into the worst conclusions. “Jackie,” she says, alarmed. “Is someone forcing you? Is he forcing himself on you—“
“No!” Jackie exclaims through gritted teeth, feeling pissed at Nat’s insinuations. “Eddie would never do that to me.”
Nat takes it in, even though it makes everything more confusing. “I don’t understand.”
Jackie leans back on her seat. Elbow propped by the window, right hand carefully palming her scar, hiding it. “He knows,” she admits while looking forward. “He knows about me.”
Oh.
Out of every possibility in the world, a lavender marriage wasn’t really on her bingo card. How didn’t she think of that?
Oh, Jack.
“And he’s just cool about it?” Natalie inquires, awkwardly.
“He’s actually really kind,” Jackie defends him.
“Doesn’t mean you marry him,” Nat sighs.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jackie says, sounding childish.
“Is he gay too?”
“No.”
“Sure?”
“Absolutely sure.”
Nat feels like that’s hard to believe but Jackie’s seems certain. “What the hell, Jackie?” Nat whispers.
“I know it sounds crazy, okay?”
“I’m glad you know,” Nat retorts. She’s feeling frustration towards Jackie for Jackie’s own sake. “So what? You two are in cahoots?”
Jackie nods.
“And he wasn’t like your boyfriend? Your fiancé?”
“Just a label. Nothing more,” Jackie frowns and looks upset the more she talks about it. She’s only ever spoken about this with Eddie.
“And the physical stuff? Making out and screwing? Nothing?”
“I tried in the beginning, before you know—“ she looks down, feeling ashamed. “But I couldn’t go further and I told him.”
There’s millions of thoughts on Nat’s head but looking at Jackie like this; clearly upset and distressed, tugs all of her heartstrings. Maybe, she should take it down a notch.
“Jackie,” she calls for her and she resists the desire to hold her hand. “How did it become like this? You could’ve just stayed friends with him.”
When Jackie doesn’t say anything and just sucks on her lips while looking out, Nat sighs and says, “Eddie sounds like a good guy. I think you can just call him and explain.”
She whips her head towards Nat. “That’s not happening!”
“Why?!”
“Because I’ll backtrack on everything the second he answers!”
Jackie’s not good at confrontation. She absolutely sucks at commiting to something when there’s an element of danger involved; her relationship with Nat is a fine example. Nat’s also glad she missed out on the fatal Shauna-Jackie screaming showdown, she never got the full picture but context clues tell her that she didn’t exactly put up an honorable fight. Van told her she was quoting fucking Beaches.
And now this.
Jackie cannot for the life of her face the fire she ignited, and Nat’s out here blowing on the flame accidentally making it grow.
“Why can’t I just drive you to the Hilton, and you just hole yourself there for a few days, huh?!” Nat's frustration seems to be growing.
“I could’ve done that without you!” Jackie matches her volume. “I told you! I need to be far away to fully end this!”
Nat’s ready to lash out back at her but she steadies herself. “Let me get this straight,” she says calmly, her eyes blinking at the red lights burning her eyes from the cars in front of her. “Life sucked after you left the hospital— I presume. Shit must’ve been too much. You met this decent guy. You both elaborate this genius lavender marriage—“
“The fuck’s a lavender marriage?”
“It’s exactly what you’re doing,” Nat says, interrupting her flow. “So, you elaborate this insane plan to get hitched but it’s a sham. Move to fucking Barbie’s dreamland or whatever. Pretend that this could actually work? Divorce by thirty?”
Jackie folds her arms and sinks herself further into the seat. “Pretty much.”
Nat doesn’t say anything. She only think in her head, fucking stupid. But it’s like Jackie hears it. She takes a deep breath and says, “I was lonely. We were both lonely, okay? People were saying things about us when we were rescued, you know. It didn’t take long to realize that the rumors, my scary-looking face, and everything else from that stupid fucking plane crash was gonna ruin everything in my life, okay?” Her lips are wobbling and her voice is cracking. She’s talking like every word coming out of her throat is painful.
“I met Eddie in one of those country clubs both of our parents go to and he just didn’t care; not about the crash, or the gossip, or my face— and it was fucking lonely.” Jackie turns to look at Nat, her face colored with anger and sadness. “This marriage was our ticket out of this place because his parents suck too, he literally has to wear glasses because of the stress. Two birds, one stone. Why do you think he’s traveling today, hmm?— me and one of my best friends moving someplace sunny and warm for a few years and then we would just get divorced when we’re all set. I know it sounds stupid— I know! I felt like I was drowning and suffocating, and Eddie just happened to be there for me!”
“Jackie—“
“Judge me all you want, okay!?” A few tears fall from her eyes. “I know that this is a shitshow and I’m sorry for dragging you along with my bullshit. But you have to understand—“ she takes a difficult deep breath. “I have to leave because it could’ve been a whole lot worse than leaving.”
Nat’s frozen, her eyes firm on the road. She’s feeling a little lightheaded. It’s easy to ignore everyone when you’re not seeing your fellow crash pals, and she knew they all suffered to some degree upon their return. But hearing it like this? From Jackie? From her Jack?
“I understand.” That’s all she says, sincerely.
“Really?” Jackie sounds miserably doubtful.
Natalie gives in, she reaches her hand and just gives Jackie’s left hand, that’s on top of her thigh, a little squeeze. It’s electrifying.
“Yeah,” she nods. “I’m not judging you. I’m sorry.”
Jackie doesn’t say anything, she looks at Nat’s hand covering hers like it’s this alien thing. But she takes a massive breath of relief and threads their fingers together for a moment before letting go.
There’s so much Natalie wants to say, she wants to grab her shoulders, shake her like a bobble head, and tell her, like really tell her, that no one’s ever been more beautiful than her in Nat’s eyes. She keeps quiet though, her hands firm on the wheel, almost choking it.
“We should grab dinner.” Is all she can muster.
When Nat parks her by the Taco Bell drive-thru, she only gets as far as “hello” before she realizes that the speakers aren’t broken, she just can’t fucking process the sounds. It’s all muffled and scratchy.
She looks at Jackie and says, “you order.”
“Why?” She asks. “You’re closer.”
“Just—“ she waves a hand around, shrugging. “You do it.”
Jackie stares at her for a few seconds before she leans forward and says, “okay. What do you want?”
“Whatever you’re having.”
“Vegetarian?”
“Obviously.”
“Diet Coke?”
“Obv—“
“Obviously.” Jackie beats her to it while wearing a smirk, and Nat just breathes out a small chuckle, her eyes slowly blinking at her.
After eating in the car, Nat drives to a CVS close by since Jackie didn’t even pack a toothbrush. She considers buying snacks for herself as well.
They go their separate ways, the fluorescent lights lead the way. It’s so empty inside, Nat’s starting to feel weird because suddenly everything feels empty like herself and Jackie were the last people left on earth. Did Jersey desert itself to make space for the two of them? Surely, there were people around but Nat’s barely paid mind to anyone for several hours now.
She goes to the makeup aisle and looks at her reflection; sleepy and exhausted. Great. She looks at the tester products and thinks about fixing herself up for no reason at all. There’s the mascara, the liner, maybe some blush.
No. No. That’s dumb.
She walks away and picks up a cold can of Red Bull and Pringle’s. Then, she finds Jackie, wearing a small smile, walking towards her and Nat’s dizzy again; you’re real. You’re here. You’re walking towards me.
“You know that’s gonna make your heart explode,” Jackie tells her, almost seriously, while pointing at the can.
Don’t worry, I’m not far from it right now.
“That’s not a thing,” Nat bluntly replies.
“Totally is.”
“I’ll take the risk.”
Jackie lets out an amused scoff and walks to the cashier counter. Nat looks at her little basket and see that it’s mostly hygienic products she didn’t pack, she also notes that she looks ridiculous with that buttoned up trench coat with the white dress poking out from it. Nat goes to put her two items along with Jackie’s stuff.
Jackie checks them into an alright three-star hotel in a room with two twin sized beds that are so close together that it might as well be one bed.
“I’ll go take a shower.” Nat calls dibs first.
“Okay,” Jackie absentmindedly nods while staring out the window. Nat throws her bag on the armchair and takes her sweats, leaving some out for Jackie to change into.
She feels incredible when the hot water hits her body. It’s turning her body red but she’s doesn’t give a fuck. Nat will always love a hot steamy shower washing her body until it’s wrinkly. It brings relief to her shoulder and now, she wonders how she’ll manage to drive distances if it’s going to make her shoulder this inflamed and uncomfortable.
God, that stupid fucking car.
When she’s all done, she goes to the room and finds Jackie already asleep in the bed, still in her trench and dress with her folded hands squished between her thighs to keep them warm.
Huh, old habits die hard.
Nat knows that Jackie’s deeply asleep right now, it all shows in her face. If there’s one thing Jackie gained in her time out in the wilderness was this incredible ability to just sleep. She did it so well, she slept so deeply and barely stirred. It made everyone jealous that Jackie seemed to sleep through the starvation and freezing cold.
If Natalie remembers correctly, she had to check a few times if Jackie was still breathing in those slumbers. Because sleeping was the only thing to be jealous of when it came to Jackie’s survival; she had done terribly in every other aspect. Nat heard a comment from one of the girls, she can’t remember who, that they wished Jackie would never pick the card because ‘there’s barely anything’ since she was the thinnest and always sick. Nat’s sure that girl is dead now. She doesn’t hear that voice anymore.
She contemplates whether to wake her up or let her be, but she’d be way more comfortable and warm if she wore actual clothes. She hates it but she makes her decision.
Nat leans down by Jackie’s bedside near the window view and gently grabs her arm. “Jackie?” She whispers.
Nothing.
“Jackie,” she whispers and gives her a little shake.
A very deep sleeper, still.
She shakes her harder and says, “Jackie.” in a slightly louder voice, and it takes a couple more times until Jackie slowly opens her eyes. When sees Nat’s face, she flinches back and startles a little bit like she forgot that Natalie was there with her.
“What is it?” She mumbles.
“Get changed,” she tells her, handing her the clothes. “Don’t sleep in that dress. It’s cold.”
“Oh,” Jackie nods. She sits up and straightens her back. “Thanks.”
“Yeah.” Natalie walks over to the radiator to double-check if it’s on and then to her side of the bed and settles herself. They’re back to back; Nat facing the door, Jackie facing the window. She hears clothes falling on the floor and some shuffling around.
Natalie takes her sleeping pills and Jackie rubs moisturizer on her face. Neither of these products can be bought from the pharmacies without prescription, they’re the real deal. That’s satisfying to Nat; at least their traumas are worth a little more than over-the-countertop meds.
Eventually she hears Jackie plop back into the mattress and Nat does the same. It’s gonna take a hot minute until she falls asleep and it won’t be easier with Jackie suddenly beside her. So she waits, busying her brain with movie plots, lyrics, bookshelf aisles. Then, something distracts her…no, something startles her. It’s a tiny little sound, very hushed, but familiar and haunting; Jackie’s hums.
Woah.
She still does that.
She still hums in her sleep. It pulls Nat back right into the woods, the lake, the cabin. In the first winter, Jackie started humming in her sleep while she breathed. It sounded like she had some trouble letting air in and out, Nat had no idea what it really was and Jackie wasn’t aware of it when she told her about it. She just does it.
Those awfully familiar little hums, she grew so used to them until it’s been too long that she actually forgot about them. She wonders how she’s hearing them with how quiet they are.
God, her heart constricts. This sound that lives between rest and pain, it used to lull her to sleep.
How the hell is she still doing that? Did Eddie notice? Did her parents notice? Her doctors? Is it actually a minor, insignificant thing that only I fixated on?
Natalie shuts eyes tightly and buries her head on the pillow, trying to calm her beating heart.
Fuck. My heart might actually explode. Goddamn it, Jackie.
Sounds can take you to places.
Natalie never thought that death would be this slow and boring. She’s intimate with the cold and quick type; her dad, the animals she hunts. One shot, gone.
But when she’s here lying on the snow by the frozen lake with Jackie right next to her, time doesn’t seem to move at all. Nothing’s moving at all. They’re all just waiting for something to happen, and if nothing happens, they might start falling like flies soon enough.
It was Jackie who went out for a walk and Natalie followed her this time. They made it to the lake and are resting on their backs. It’s freezing but it’s not windy so it won’t kill them…at least that’s what Nat hopes.
Jackie’s been walking out more ever since she slept outside and almost died. Everything about that cabin agitates her, and Nat follows her out every time.
When Natalie turns her head to see her, she’s got her eyes closed with her chest going up and down, a little hum coming out of her mouth every time she takes a breath.
“Don’t tell me you’re sleeping out in the snow again?” Nat teases her with a quiet voice, her eyes fluttering from the icy cold air.
“Not sleeping.” Jackie smiles, it still hurts her face to do that.
“What are you doin’?”
“Thinking about stuff.”
“Like?”
Jackie opens her eyes and gives Nat a sideways stare with a subtle smirk. “You’re gonna hate me for it.”
“Quite literally impossible.”
Her smirk turns into a sad little smile and she whispers a confession, “I dunno if I have more time. I’m tired.”
The curious look on Nat’s face morphs into concern. “Actually you’re right. I do fucking hate that.” The tone she uses is light but it’s only to ease the tension. Only to pillow the plummeting of her heart. “Why would you say that?”
Jackie only shrugs, and Nat stretches out an arm so she can come into her embrace. She likes having her up close and likes feeling the tip of her nose touching Jackie’s.
“Seriously, Jack,” Nat says softly, playing with her hair as she’s laying her head on her arm with her shivering fingers. “What’s going on?”
Their glassy eyes staring into each other, slowly blinking. “Everything hurts now,” Jackie whispers tiredly.
“I know,” Nat says with a frown. “I’m sorry.”
Jackie just shakes her head, and Nat leans her head to kiss her lips, which Jackie seems to respond to eagerly, because this will always be warm, it will always feel like home especially when Jackie holds her to pull their bodies closer to each other. They’re practically hiding in each other.
“Tell me what to do,” Nat pleads into her ears. “Anything to make it better.” Jackie buries her face in the crook of her neck, her lips grazing at her skin and Nat wraps her arms around her frame. Her shrinking frame, to be precise.
“There’s not much to do here,” Jackie says half-whining, half-sarcastically. “I just wanna sleep.”
“You’re always sleeping.”
“I wanna do it more.”
Nat breathes out a small laugh. She kisses Jackie’s head and says, “I’m sure there’s something I can do.”
“Nothing,” she jokes, and Nat appreciates that Jackie’s humoring her. It’s better than the doom and gloom.
Jackie pulls back and they’re looking at one another again. Jackie’s right; everything hurts. Every little thing. But she hopes that in this minuscule moment where it’s only them, staring into each other, it hurts a little bit less.
“You want the moon?” Nat cheekily says into her ears, doing her best George Bailey impression. “I’ll throw a lasso around the moon and bring it over to ya!”
That makes Jackie giggle, like an actual laugh. It’s the cute impression along with the misquoted line but it’s fucking close enough for her to hold her cheek and kiss her.
“The moon, hmm?”
“Anything you want,” Nat says between kisses.
When they pull away, Jackie tucks Nat’s hair behind her ears and traces her brow and the shell of her ear with her fingers. Jackie notices some movement in the sky from her periphery. She turns to look up and says, “I think I wanna be a bird.”
Nat follows her eyes and sees the two birds flying together in the massive sky. She can’t shoot them for a decent meal. Too far.
“Right now?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t think I can do that,” Nat tells her with a pout.
“Maybe in another life,” Jackie sighs. “Maybe we’ll all fall asleep tonight and wake up in another life.”
Natalie tries her hardest to ignore that Jackie seems too eager about the prospect of leaving this place, one way or another. “And you’ll be a bird?” She asks, instead.
“Yeah,” Jackie nods. “I’ll go real far.” She can’t even understand why something as free as a soaring bird would be doing in a godforsaken place like this one.
“Take me with you?”
“Yeah,” Jackie smiles lazily at her. “I’d really like that.”
Nat doesn’t dream anymore, the pills just suck her into a still void, but sometimes she’ll remember something and it’ll play like a film reel. Some nights, like this one, her slumbering eyes will shed tears into her pillow, in spite of herself.
She doesn’t dream anymore. But it’s overwhelming when her unconscious self remembers things.
The whole world is asleep, Jackie hums, and Natalie travels into a memory.
You should’ve taken me with you.