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Teenagers are the worst

Summary:

The day the batfamily has been dreading has come. Damian Wayne is 14 years old and acting like a true teenager.

Notes:

This is my first work, please be nice. I'm planning on doing 6 chapters total if people actually like this one.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Chapter Text

It was Saturday which meant it was game night, everyone was sitting in the living room waiting for the last two people to arrive. A few games they had already chosen sat on the table in the center of the room. Tim was sitting on the floor scrolling through his phone, Cass and Dick were looking through the games, deciding which they would play first, and Stephanie was making a poor attempt at trying to convince Jason to form an alliance.

"Ugh, I never get to do anything!" they heard Damian yell from down the hall, they all sat up, alert, listening to the conversation.

"Damian, we're having family game night right now, I don't care what plans you have with your friends."

"I hate you, I swear I never get to do anything!" which was quickly followed by the slam of a door.

A few moments later Bruce was standing in the door way rubbing his temples.

"What was that about?" Dick asked

Bruce responded sounding drained from the argument "Nothing...he's just upset because I wouldn't let him go out with his friends." He sat on the couch with his head in his hands still trying to get rid of his headache.

"He has friends?" Jason, Steph and Tim said in unison.

Dick spoke again "He's been a bit moody the past few weeks. Right?"

Tim raised an eyebrow"Isn't he always?"

"He's been more irritable and angry than usual." Cass chimed in.

"Yeah, he's definitely been acting kind of off lately" Dick added.

"So, the brats always been a weird kid" Jason rolled his eyes.

Dick frowned "But he's been a bit more weird recently, it's a little concerning"

Stephanie stared into space with a contemplative look on her face before letting out a loud gasp, drawing all attention in the room to her. "It's happening" she said with an unnecessarily grim tone.

"What's happening?" Jason said obviously annoyed.

"The day of reckoning is upon us" she continued as everyone looked at her confused, patiently waiting for her to finish. Everyone leaned in a little holding their breath.

"he's a.....teenager"

The room let out a collective gasp and Bruce groaned as his headache got ten times worse from this new information.

Dick was the first to speak after several seconds of silence "it feels like he was 9 yesterday, now he's 14, I feel so old"

"Now you know how I always feel" Bruce grumbled from the couch.

"Personally I don't care how old he is, he's still a demon brat" Tim rolled his eyes.

"Exactly" Jason agreed "Him being 14 doesn't mean anything he's still a kid"

Cass walked back into the room, no one had even noticed when she left. "He isn't in his room"

If it was even possible at this point, Bruce's headache got worse.

"And the teenage phase has begun" Steph said grimly.

The game night continued as they waited for Damian to come back. They had checked more than once through out the night but there was no sign of him until the next morning.

 

Damian's POV:
Maya, Colin, Jon and Damian all sat in the Kent's barn talking after a long night out spent mostly just wondering about the streets, going into random shops and buying things they definitely didn't need. They had all found a nice pile of hay to settle into in the corner of the barn which was dimly lit by a old oil lamp the Kent's had for whatever reason.

"I don't get why he's always like that, it's so annoying" the teen scowled down at the ground.

"C'mon Dami, he's just looking out for you"
Damian rolled his eyes at Jon. " 'Looking out for me', I don't need him to, I am not some child."

"I mean technically you are a child- like by law" Colin corrected.

"Next you're going to start saying 'erm actually' " Maya chuckled.

Damian groaned "I'll never be able to do anything with him always hovering and telling me what to do like he's-"

"Your parent?" Jon cut off. The glare he received would have been scary if he wasn't used to it.

"Shut up."

"Don't listen to Jon" Maya announced standing up "down with the rich white man! Don't let him dictate your life!"

Colin rolled off the hay laughing as Maya plopped down giggling to herself. Damian repressed his smile as he watched his friends laugh. He turned to face Jon and blushed a little, he had always liked Jon's laugh, for some reason it made him happy. Soon he forgot about the fight he had with his father and the four of them spent the night talking, eventually falling asleep next to each other.

The next morning they woke up to the light peeping in through the cracks in the barn door and an amused Clark Kent standing over them "You kids want to come inside for breakfast or would you rather stay in the hay?"

After breakfast with the Kent's Jon flew him back to his bedroom. They both landed silently inside.

"Father will probably bench me for sneaking out"

Jon rocked on the balls of his feet "Well whenever you're unbenched we could....maybe do something....together" suddenly both Jon and Damian found the floor and ceiling to be extremely fascinating.

"I would enjoy that" the blush on both of their faces became more and more evident with every awkward second that passed.

"Uh, cool, yeah" Jon said floating out the window "I'll text you whenever you're not benched then, um, bye!"

Damian gave him a genuine smile "Bye Jon."

The flustered Kryptonian hit his head on the top of the window. "Bye then! I already said that, uh-but yeah, bye!" He flew off so fast you would think he was being chased.

The interaction with Jon made him genuinely happy for a brief few seconds before he heard the angry foot steps of his father outside. Damian sighed and faced the door ready for the argument he was about to have.

Chapter 2

Notes:

Idk why but I don't really like this chapter, I spent way too much time on it to not post tho.

I have exams next week so I won't work on this until my Christmas break starts on the 12th. I get a whole month off so I'll try to finish this before I go back to school

And Damian listens to Mitski because I said so❤

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It had officially been two whole weeks since he was grounded, that meant no patrol, no going out, and worst of all no Jon. It was torture, the only thing keeping him sane was the fact that as soon as this was over he would get to go on a real date. Just thinking about it made him smile, which was pretty rare for Damian.

Majority of the past two weeks had been spent brooding in his room (like he was doing now). The speaker on his nightstand blasted mitski while he aimlessly scrolled through his phone.

He heard a heavy knock on his door before it swung open. Bruce glared down at him "You've been in here all day, I was starting to think you might have snuck out again"

Damian's only response was rolling his eyes. His father had been acting like this ever since he was grounded. It was exhausting, the man was acting like hanging out with his friends was some kind of criminal offence.

It was Saturday again, just like always there was another stupid game night he didn't want to go to. He dragged himself out of bed and begrudgingly made his way to the door.

As he was being escorted to the living room his phone dinged, he looked down to see Jon was texting him, like he had been doing everyday since asking him out. He must have looked a little too happy because his jailer father said "No phones during family time, put it away"

"We're not even in the living room yet"

Bruce didn't respond, instead he snatched the phone placing it in his pocket.

"Ugh!" Damian angrily stomped into the living room plopping down in the corner of the couch with a scowl on his face.

It didn't take long for everyone to file in and sit around the table in the center of the room. Dick sat next to him pulling him into a hug.

"Grayson! Stop it!"

"Sorry little D, I just missed you"

"Tt”

The game night started out with monopoly, a huge mistake on their part. Barely 15 minutes passed before the board had been flipped for the second time, Tim and Cass were having the most intense, cut throat game of monopoly he’d ever seen and Jason had been put in jail again.

“I HATE YOU!”

“Well next time don’t steal my monopoly!”

“Stephanie, give Jason his $200, you landed on his property” Bruce tried his best to keep his voice level and calm.

“He’s in JAIL!!! I’m not going to give money to a criminal”

“THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PLAY” Steph stuck her tongue out at Jason when he said that.

“What are they screaming about now”

“Shut the fuck up Cass, you don’t get to talk after stealing my last railroad” Tim looked like he might burst a blood vessel.

Damian barely participated, he just observed the chaos with a scowl on his face. He just wanted this to be over so he could go back to quietly sulking in his room. A loud crash caught his attention, the board was on the floor and almost everyone was practically brawling. Dick and Bruce both had their full attention set on breaking it up, he could see his phone slowly slipping out of Bruce’s pocket. The opportunity was almost too perfect, he carefully took his phone and stalked out of the room, everyone was too busy to notice.

They’d notice he was gone eventually so he had to be quick. He quietly shut the door to the art room as he entered. He originally only planned to send Jon a short message about how awful monopoly was but it turned into a lengthy conversation. He hadn’t noticed that 30 minutes passed until Bruce walked in looking a bit disheveled (probably from the fight he’d just broken up) and very upset.

“I was going to let you go back on patrol tomorrow but since you still haven’t learned anything I guess not”

“How is that fair? I left for a few minutes, I didn’t even leave the manor!” Damian had originally not protested as much as he normally would about his punishment, but he was furious, his father had been nothing but unfair since that night and it was getting exhausting.

“Damian, that’s final” he was using his Batman voice.

“No, I hardly did anything wrong! If it was anyone else you wouldn’t-“

“Damian. Go.To.Your.Room” he wasn’t yelling but the sternness of his voice made it just as bad.

 

Bruce sat at his desk thinking about how he was going to apologize, he knew Damian was right, he wasn’t being fair. Damian had been wrong for sneaking out but that was never what he was really upset about, the more his youngest acted out and pulled away from him and the rest of the family the more the realization sank in. It was on his mind ever since Stephanie said it.

“he's a....teenager”

Bruce didn’t want to believe it, he could still remember when Damian had first arrived, he had still had that layer of baby fat on his face and an insane amount of audacity for someone who wasn’t even 5ft tall. Damian really hadn’t done anything that warranted his reaction but when he found him in the art room it reminded him of how 9 year old Damian used to hide in there. He got the worst déjà vu and he really saw how much he grew up.

He never liked it when any of his kids grew up, but knowing Damian was the last one he’d ever get to see grow up made him wish he could freeze time and stop him from getting any older. There was a light knock at the door and he looked up to see his first baby (yes he was still his baby no matter how old he got).

“I just talked to Dami, you know that was unfair right?” He raised an eyebrow.

Bruce let out a heavy sigh “I know, I’m just….not sure what to say”

“I have a revolutionary idea, talk about your feelings” Bruce visibly tensed at the word

“Look B, I know what this is actually about, please just talk to him” Dick was way too tired to deal with this, it was going to be resolved tonight whether Bruce liked it or not. “If you don’t do it right now I’ll just go get him and make you two talk”

He took Bruce’s grunt as an agreement.

“Perfect! Tell me how it goes!” He said with a bright smile as he left the room.

 

Bruce stood outside of Damian’s room with his hand hovering over the door. After a few moments he gained the courage to knock. The door swung open to reveal an angry Damian scowling up at him, his mind briefly flashed to the image of his son 5 years ago with the exact same look on his face.

“Uh-can we…talk?”

“No.”

The door was promptly slammed in his face. He almost lost what little composure he had left but took a deep breath in and slowly opened the door.

“Please Damian, I'm trying to apologize”

Damian didn't actually say anything, he just stood with his arms crossed and the same scowl on his face.

“I was….wrong, I shouldn't have extended your punishment for what you did”

“Are you done?” He raised an eyebrow

“I'm not-I uh” this was the part Bruce had been dreading, the emotions part. Getting the words out was a struggle and he was getting nervous “can we sit down for this?”

Damian rolled his eyes but sat down at the edge of the bed with his father.

“The reason I was upset is nothing you could control, and I'm sorry I handled it like that”

Damian dropped the serious exterior when he saw that his father was obviously sad.

“What were you upset about?”

Bruce let out a humourless chuckle and began to cup his son's face with his hands “You are growing up so fast, it's really not fair of me to try to stop you from growing. When you stopped spending time with us it just felt like you were slipping through my fingers. I'll try to do better next time something like this happens. I'm not going to try to stop you from growing up but no matter how old any of you get you're all still my babies.”

There were definitely not tears in Damian's eyes when he heard that last part.

Bruce pulled Damian into his side for a hug and they stayed like that for a while.

“Father”

“Yes Damian”

“What would you think if I started, um, dating?”

“Let's slow down, one conversation at a time” he could feel the gray hairs forming on his scalp already.

Notes:

I really hope someone understands the monopoly reference😭

 

Next chapter will be the date

Chapter 3

Notes:

MERRY CHRISTMAS *̣̥☆·͙̥❄‧̩̥࿌ིྀ྇˟͙☃️˟͙࿌ིྀ྇‧̩̥❄·͙̥̣☆*̣̥
Sorry this chapter took so long I'm a procrastinator and I kept starting over because everyone felt so ooc.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

By now everyone in his family knew he was going on a date with Jon, he had told Bruce who told Dick who told everyone. Ever since they found out he couldn't take two steps without someone trying to interrogate him about it. It was an endless stream of

"Where are you two going?"

"How long will you be there?"

"Do you need me to get some kryptonite?"

"Aren't you like five? Why are dating?"

But he didn't care about what his siblings had to say about it right now. He was currently in the middle of possibly one of the most important decisions of his life, trying to pick the right outfit. He had to meet Jon at the amusement park in 30 minutes and he still had no idea what to wear. He would have to leave in the next 10 minutes if he wanted to make it in time, the situation was getting desperate, he had no choice, he pulled out his phone and sent a text.

Less than a minute after he sent the message she came barreling through the door.

"Brown." he deadpanned

"Damian, I'm flattered, you really think I have the best style in the family?" she had a broad grin on her face when she said it.

"I never said that, I just asked for help so hurry up and help me or get out."

Steph rolled her eyes and walked over to his closet "alright let's see what you've got"

He didn't want any of his family members helping him pick an outfit but out of all the options Stephanie was the most logical choice, he would have asked Dick but if the Discowing suit was anything to go by his brother clearly didn't have a sense of style.

"You're gonna look adorable when I'm done, do you own non-formal clothes?" He only sighed in response.

When he was finally ready he made his way down stairs where Alfred was waiting. The drive there was silent and the whole time he felt like he was going to explode from the stress. All he could think about was everything that could go wrong, what if Jon stood him up? Or suddenly decided he wasn't interested? Or he did something stupid and Jon regretted ever asking him out in the first place? Logically he knew the chance of any of these scenarios actually happening was slim, especially because Jon was the sweetest person he'd ever met, but he couldn't help that itch in the back of his mind.

"Is everything alright Master Damian?" Of course Alfred picked up on his anxiety, it practically radiated off of him.

"I'm fine Pennyworth." Not even he believed himself, he lacked his usual confident demeanor and his voice came out as a whisper.

"Jonathan is a kind young man, I'm sure whatever is troubling you is only your imagination getting the better of you Master Damian."

That put him slightly more at ease. Of course he was right. Alfred was always right, everything would be fine, he silently reassured himself.

"Though if it is your siblings following us that is troubling you, it is indeed not your imagination."

Damian had noticed the car behind them before but he was choosing to ignore his siblings for now. They would have found a way to spy on him no matter what he said or did so there was no point in attempting to stop them.

 

When he got there he barely stepped out of the car before Jon was pulling him into a hug, their faces flushed simultaneously at the action. Damian was the first to break the hug turning around towards Alfred.

"Thank you Pennyworth, I will call when I am ready to leave."

"Of course Master Damian."

Alfred drove off leaving the two boys alone (if you didn't count the five vigilantes watching them from a distance).

"I missed you D, I haven't seen you in forever." Jon said with the sweetest smile that made his heart melt.

Damian almost always had something to say but Jon and all his country boy charm sometimes left him tripping over his words. He looked away for a moment and was finally able to get the words out.

"Missed you too Smallville" he said as he intertwined their fingers.

He pictured their date to be somewhat awkward, especially because he wasn't exactly known for his exceptional social skills, but it all felt so natural. They walked towards the entrance holding hands while Jon rambled about all the things he wanted to show Damian, it felt comfortable, almost as if they'd done it a million times before.

 

Meanwhile his siblings had just started to file out of the car to follow them in.

"Tim y'know you could have just put on like a hat or something, you didn't have to do all that." Steph gestured to his whole disguise.

"Shh, my names not Tim it's Caroline." Steph roled her eyes at that.

"Something you want to tell us Timmy." Jason said raising a brow.

"We support you." Cass added ruffling Tim's hair with a teasing smile.

"Do you know how long it took to get ready, don't mess up my blowout."

"Guys we're getting off track, and for the record I think you look fabulous Tim."

"Yeah I know."

"Aww, they're holding hands, look at that." Stephanie's phone clicked as she took pictures of them.

"Send those to me." Dick was looking over her shoulder as he said it.

"Ew, that is not cute, if they start making out or something I'm breaking up this date."

"I agree with Jason, I do not need to see that."

 

They walked around looking for something to do still holding each other's hand. Jon's eyes suddenly lit up. Damian followed his line of sight and spotted the likely rigged ring toss with several superboy and robin plushies displayed in the front.

"We have to get those it's like the universe is telling us something."

"Those games are always rigged, it's almost impossible to win."

"Damian Wayne admitting defeat so easily? C'mon you're a bat and I'm a super we can definitely win some stupid carnival game."

They could not win. An embarrassing amount of failed attempts later and they were still there. Jon however was perfectly content with this, he could've watched Damian playing the ring toss all day. He had that concentrated look on his face and a competitive gleam in his eyes. It was the same face he made thinking of a plan on a mission, the reason Jon could never focus when robin was explaining something to him.

He had a smile on his face as he watched intently, Damian must have noticed him staring because he fumbled the throw and was suddenly very flustered.

"I would have won if it wasn't for you staring Jonathan."

Just as he was about to respond Cass came out of nowhere. They both stared at her confused but she didn't even glance in their direction. She won the game first try, taking two plushies and handing the superboy one to her brother and the robin one to Jon. They hardly processed what happened before she seemingly vanished.

"Why was your sister here?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you all my siblings are following us right now." He said in a bored tone.

"Uh- should I be concerned for my safety or...?" It was very much a genuine question on Jon's part but Damian just shrugged.

Glancing over and seeing the fear on Jon's face he smiled a little and said "if it bothers you that much we could go...." He paused to look around and his eyes landed on the Ferris wheel "there, they can't follow us there."

Once they were actually on the Ferris wheel they both realized how romantic the situation was, trapped in a confined space sitting directly next to each other as they were given a sky view, it was exactly like those cheesy romance movies.

A deep red set onto both boys faces and the ride up was silent, in all the time they had known each other silence was never a common occurrence. Once they were at the top the opportunity was too perfect for them to miss. Jon turned to face Damian and the other did the same, for a moment they just looked at each other sharing a silent conversation that went something like

'Should we...?'

'Obviously farmboy.'

They both leaned in a bit awkwardly at first but when their lips finally met they both relaxed and sank into the kiss. Jon was quite literally levitating out of his seat for a few seconds and he could feel the grin on Damian's face. When they broke the kiss they heard Jason's "ewww" from where he was at the bottom of the Ferris wheel.

Jon was going to walk Damian out to the car like a gentleman but spotted his siblings approaching and made his goodbye to Damian quick.

"I hate all of you."

"We barely interfered, be glad we talked B out of chaperoning you two, he would have never let you get away with all that hand holding and touching" Jason shuddered when he said the last part.

Damian blushed in embarrassment.

"Don't be embarrassed Dami, this is completely natural and if you ever have questions or-"

"Don't listen to Dick, no one wants to talk about that stuff with their family members, just google it like I did."

"Tim no-" the rest of whatever Dick was saying fell on deaf ears as everyone engaged in their own conversations.

He just noticed Tim dressed like a girl and gave him a confused look.

Stephanie noticed the look on his face "Yeah we don't know either, but look at the pictures I took of you and your boyfriend." She waved her phone in his face.

"Delete those!"

"It wouldn't matter I already sent it in the group chat." She had a smug smile on her face. "We can look through them on the way back, we told Alfred we'd take you home."

It was definitely just an excuse to tease him all the way back home but going on a date with Jon was worth the torment from his siblings.

Notes:

Don't pay attention to how rushed it was I wanted to have this chapter out by Christmas and ended up doing it the night before.

Notes:

I know the ending was kind of rushed and my writing isn't the best but I hope you liked it!!