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Chapter Text

A muted buzz filled the hot, dry air that Remus awoke in. Awash in blood, clothing shredded, mud caked underneath his fingernails and on his palms, he slowly registered where in the world he was. His entire body ached, a dull pain that he had grown accustomed to over the years, but when he sat up he felt a searing, white hot sensation that made him collapse again, stars spinning before his eyes. Gingerly, his fingertips grazed the source of the pain; his shoulder, where he discovered a deep, long gash, that would most certainly leave a new scar, to match the others littered across his body. The blood had cauterized for the most part, but the wound was still fresh, and he had to be careful not to stretch the muscle, or else he would tear it open again.

From his position on the ground, Remus could see sunlight bleeding through the slats of the external entrance to the basement, illuminating the room. Flies were attached to the walls, gorging on his blood, and when he turned to look at his shoulder in the better light, he found the creatures there too. Annoyed, but defeated, he flicked them off, crushing them in his palm as he did so. A yawn crawled across his face, as he sat up once more, this time being careful of the wound as he did.

The pattering of footsteps overhead, with murmured voices coming around the back door alerted Remus that his parents knew he was awake, and were coming to check on him. He went to open up the entrance, but was incapable of moving both his arms, and was too weak to shove the door open. Lucky for him, Lyall was on the other side, pulling the door open to let the full daylight into the room. 

Remus winced at the sudden change, but blinked to get used to it, while he felt his father reach down and help him walk out of the basement. The man then went down into the room, clearly aiming to clean off the walls and kill the flies, while he left his son leaning on his wife.

“Thanks,” Remus murmured, his voice hoarse and raw.

“Always, my boy,” his father answered, but Hope was already leading him back into the house.

They walked silently, Hope leading him into the kitchen where she had her muggle first-aid supplies at the ready. She went about cleaning the wound, ignoring Remus’ hisses of pain and wincing, as she cleansed it, first with alcohol, then water. It was not deep enough to warrant stitching, so instead she used butterfly sutures to pull the flesh together, allowing it to re-bond and heal more rapidly. Once they were in place, she cleaned the wound once more, and when she was certain blood flow had stopped and the sutures would hold, she gingerly wrapped his shoulder in gauze, then in bandaging. Hope went to offer her son a sling, but he rejected it almost immediately, which she could’ve predicted.

Once he was properly bandaged, she gave him a small dose of pain medications, before returning to where breakfast had been left on the stove. As she clicked on the burner, Remus slid off of his seat on the counter and went into the living room, picking up the book he’d left there two nights prior. It was a collection of a few of Shakespeare’s comedies, and he was most intrigued by Twelfth Night , having only gotten through the first act before returning upstairs. 

Lyall had marked the page he’d left off on, and seemed to leave a few tips in the margins about analyzing Orsino. Grinning for the first time that morning, Remus picked up the book and made his way back into the kitchen, sitting down in the breakfast nook where Hope was setting out his breakfast.

“Thanks Ma,” Remus said, without looking up.

“Look up ‘n thank your ma,” she instructed.

He sheepishly obeyed, matching her smile as he did.

“How’re ya feelin’?” she asked, and Remus grinned at how she always kept her accent strong. No matter how many times they moved, everyone always knew they were Welsh.

“I’m al’right,” Remus answered honestly. “Shoulder’s better now.”

“Good,” she said. “You had me an’ your old man all worried.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled through the eggs he’d shoveled into his mouth.

“Oh I know love,” she said, squeezing his hand across the table. “But ya don’t need to be. As long as you’re al’right, so are we.”

“Thanks Ma,” Remus said, squeezing her hand back. “Mind if I…?” he trailed off, gesturing at the book.

“Lupin men an’ yer books!” she said, throwing up her hands, feigning exasperation. She tousled his hair as she walked by him, going to wash up from the morning’s cooking.

“Come on Hope,” Lyall said from the doorway as he was walking in. “We ain’t all like that.”

“Tell that to your son,” she said, without turning around from the dishes.

“Well can ya blame him?” Lyall asked, sitting down at the table and taking a bit of toast from Remus’ plate.

“Ah! Dad!” Remus protested.

“He’s reading Shakespeare, my love,” Lyall said. “Let a boy enjoy his-”

“Lyall Lupin you quit eating your son’s food,” Hope said, even though she hadn’t turned around to notice him taking another piece of Remus’ toast.

“She’s scary,” he muttered to Remus, setting the toast back down.

“Only if you’re on her bad side,” Remus answered his dad, snatching the toast back up as he did.

Lyall sighed, standing and walking over to where Hope was doing the dishes. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, and muttered something in her ear, which she shook her head “no” at. Remus assumed it was doing the dishes with magic, it was the same argument they always had. For some reason, they refused to openly argue right after the full moon.

And the full moons were becoming more and more frustrating for Remus. In the week leading up to it, his wolf half rose to the surface, making him irritable, irate, and irrationally hormonal. Dealing with them this coming year at Hogwarts was going to be frustrating, so long as…

“Remus?” Hope repeated.

“Hm?” he asked, looking up.

“I asked if yer done,” she repeated herself.

“Oh, err. Sure,” Remus said. He’d eaten half of his food, which was as good as it was going to get for the morning. He’d be hungrier later. “I’ll be in my room.”

“Rest easy darlin’,” she called up to him as he ascended the staircase, nose still in the book.

Remus flicked the lock on his door as he closed it, and flopped face-first onto his bed, letting out a grunt of annoyance and discomfort as he accidentally added extra pressure to his shoulder. The book fell to the side, but Remus didn’t care.

He was too preoccupied with thoughts of Sirius. It all started last year, at the first Quidditch game of the season, when Sirius had returned to the Common Room. He was bruised up from the bludgers, and the eye-black was smeared across his face, his hair slicked back from the rain, and Remus couldn’t take his eyes off of him. 

His best friend. Looking incredibly fucking sexy, and when he came through the party to say hello, Remus wanted nothing more than to grab his face and kiss him. But they were surrounded by people, and the only people who knew about his bisexuality were his parents, and it was his best friend. His best friend, who only ever showed interest in a different girl basically each week.

Remus’ only consolation was the decision he’d made earlier that summer to tell Lily. Even if she maintained her “hatred” of James with a burning passion, she had a strange soft spot for Sirius. He’d planned to tell her on the train ride back, but as it was becoming closer, the reality of the situation was hitting him. Acceptance wasn’t the big worry here, it would change how their entire friend group interacted.

Telling Lily was daunting enough on its own. Someone else needed to know, someone who knew him and could give him actually helpful advice. The only way to properly deal with this was writing, like it always was with Remus. Thankfully it was his right shoulder that was injured, so he could still use his dominant hand. 

Remus sat at his desk, grabbing a quill and his journal, beginning to write down all that he was thinking, hoping to generate some talking points for his discussion with Lily. Call it weird all you wanted, Remus knew this was the only way it would force him to talk to her about it.

--

The silver spoon clanged against the side of the teacup, as Hope tapped off the rest of the honey. She rested the spoon in the saucer, and gingerly handed it over to Remus, who accepted gratefully. It had been a few days since the moon, which Remus had recovered from incredibly quickly. Each time he transformed, and the older he got, the easier it was becoming - relatively so - but his parents didn’t really need to know. He knew it would scare them, and he never minded the extra time to rest at home, when he wouldn’t get it at school. There was a chance Hope was catching on, but he didn’t want to let up. 

Every month they kept to their schedule of having tea at least once, to discuss current events and their lives. This month was no different, and the topic of discussion was the changing tide in the political world of wizardry, and in London. With the rise of the Labour party’s political suppression of actual laborers, and the wizarding world’s increase in the desire for blood purity, they had a bevy of topics to discuss.

“Your friend, Sirius, yes?” Hope was saying. “Isn’t he involved in London?”

“He tries to be,” Remus answered. “He can’t go out as often as he’d like.”

“Family?” she asked.

“Yea,” Remus said. “Which is a shame. He makes good speeches.”

“Have I heard ‘em?” she asked.

“Once, at the Quidditch game you went up to visit,” Remus mused. “Some rousin’ speech about samthin.”

“Ah! I remember! Darlin’ he’s cute,” Hope commented. “Do you…”

“Ma!” Remus protested. “He’s my best friend!”

“So’s your father,” she said with a wink.

“Ma,” Remus groaned, covering his face with his hands, grumbling to himself.

“I see how you get when he writes,” she said. “And I’m sorry to pry. But I know ya torture yourself…”

“Ma, please,” Remus interrupted.

“Let your ma finish her sentence!” Hope protested. “You don’t ‘ave to say nothin’ to me. But promise me y’ll tell someone.”

“I promise,” Remus said.

“Good.” She leaned back in her chair, picking up her teacup and stirring it once more before taking a sip. 

They let the topic hang in silence around their head for a few seconds as they each processed. Remus had to swallow his pride and admit his mother was right, but in the only way he properly knew how.

“Transforming is gettin’ easier,” he finally spoke.

“I’ve noticed,” she responded.

“You ‘ave?” Remus’ eyes widened in surprise.

“Of course,” she said. “I’m th’ one who’s patchin’ you up! Remus, my boy, it’s okay. From all your father’s told me, it’s natural. Don’ be afraid to tell yer parents, okay? We promise we’ll figure it out together.”

“Thanks,” Remus said. “It’s really scary. I don’t like being this way… an’ there’s nothin’ I can do to stop it, is there?”

“‘Fraid not,” Hope answered him honestly. “But with friends like yours, it’ll be al’right.”

“How can you be so sure?” Remus asked.

“I’m yer ma’m. I’m always right.” 

Remus shook his head as he laughed, nodding his agreement with his mother.

“Now tell me,” she said. “What’re ya learnin’ about from the last election?”

“We’re gon’ be wearing puce for a’while ain’t we?” Remus answered.

“There’s time to fight back,” she said. “Know how to ladder-lace?” A wicked grin crawled across her face: clearly Remus had much to learn when it came to his mother and her rebellious ways.

--

“Remus!” Lyall called across the bookstore. “Over here!”

He walked over to where his father was standing, and discovered the large array of Astronomy books that were shelved onto the bookcase. Clearly, his father had found the section he was looking for much quicker than Remus.

They had received his list of materials needed a few days prior, and with the full moon come and gone, and him packing up to return to Hogwarts, supply shopping was next on the list. He always enjoyed shopping with his father, a chance for the two of them to go out on adventures, and spend too much money on books, journals, and parchment.

This time was no different, and the two were laden with bags of supplies, some that were necessary, most that were “frivolous” but Remus would have them completely used up by the time he returned home for Christmas. 

“Thanks,” Remus answered his father, combing through the shelves, looking for what he wanted. Sirius had recommended him a book that he wanted to get and read, even if it wasn’t necessary for the class, Astronomy was one of the few academic things that Sirius absolutely adored. Whether or not Remus would admit it, knowing Sirius was comfortable to share something he loved with Remus was all the motivation he needed to buy it.

And his father could see right through his son’s disguise, but did not mind. Lyall was just happy his son was so engaged, excited, and interested in the world again. Though it had been years since Remus struggled with being a werewolf, the fact was, life was forever going to be harder for him. The longer he’d been at Hogwarts, the more willing Remus had become to make that battle, and Lyall was grateful for it.

“Excuse me,” a sneer cut through the two Lupin men’s thoughts, speaking with a curt, upper-echelon accent. The scent of mildew and hormones filled Remus’ nose, and he could hear the crunch of the man’s hair as he spun around. 

“Hello.” Remus answered flatly, suppressing his accent in a moment of surprise.

“Remus, do you know this man?” Lyall asked.

“Nah,” he answered. “Just some creep.” Remus had found the books he was looking for, and shoulder checked Severus as he walked by him.

“You ought to stay in your class,” Severus snapped.

“Excuse me?” Remus asked, spinning around, but his father laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Young man,” Lyall said, as calmly as he could. “Would your father approve?”

“Of thrashing half-bloods?” he asked curtly.

Lyall said nothing, and suppressed a flat smile. “Tobias is such a lovely man.”

Severus’ face went white as a sheet at those words, but Lyall was already leading Remus away, walking towards the register to check out. He was left sputtering, trying to process how Lyall knew his father’s name, and if that meant Remus knew the same thing.

“Dad, the hell was that?” Remus demanded. “You know his dad?”

“No, my boy,” Lyall said. “Lucky guess, I s’ppose.”

Remus did not believe his father for an instant, but took the sign for what it was. To move on and not let it spoil their day of shopping, and most likely last father-son outing before he’d return back to Hogwarts for the year.

Lyall was quite the affable man, and it took a lot to rile him up, but he never played when it came to matters with his son. Perhaps it was guilt for what happened when he was a toddler, or perhaps it was a desire to protect his family from all harm, but whatever it was, it instilled the same values in Remus. It’s why he was angered so easily at just the sight of Severus, having seen his friends beaten up more times than he could count due to Severus’ abuse. 

As they continued their shopping, Remus followed the attitude of his father, letting it roll off his shoulders and not spoil their day. He even decided to let his father pick where they went for lunch - not that his father chose poorly, but he often liked to milk the excuse of leaving so soon to pick out his favorite places to eat.

Lyall had picked out a small sandwich shop to stop into, each item allegedly tailored to the individual. They had been there before, and the sandwiches were always good. To quote Lyall, “You never know how much you’ve changed until a sandwich-maker changes your toppings,” which meant nothing to Remus, but made him laugh all the same.

“Now, Remus,” Lyall said. “I noticed that this book-” he pointed at Sirius’ recommendation, “was not on your reading list.”

“You noticed,” Remus said.

“Mhm,” he said. “Now you know I don’ mind a few new books, but why this one? You don’ love Astronomy, last I checked.”

“Sirius recommended it,” Remus answered, desperately trying to be nonchalant.

“Ah,” was all Lyall said in response.

“Lupin!” called the woman behind the counter, and Lyall left before Remus could cut in to fetch their food.

When he returned, with both sandwiches in hand, he said nothing as he went about opening up his own wrapping and starting to eat as he handed Remus his own sandwich. Remus inspected his father’s expression, desperately trying to figure out if his mother had said anything to him.

“What did Ma’m tell you?” Remus finally asked.

“Nofin,” Lyall said through a mouthful of food.

“Bull,” Remus answered.

“I promise yer ma’m, I promise ya, I can’t keep up my boy!” Lyall protested, after swallowing his bite. “Let your old man eat, huh?”

“Al’right,” Remus conceded. “I do not love my best friend,” he added.

“And I don’t love yer ma’m,” he joked in response.

Remus groaned, throwing his head down on the table and sighing dramatically. Lyall reached over and patted his head affectionately, before returning to his meal. His parents were certainly going to be the death of him, but at least they were being as supportive as they could. If only they knew their support fed his delusions about Sirius. Were they delusions? He couldn’t have this debate with himself, in a sandwich shop surrounded by wizards who certainly knew the Black family name.

Begrudgingly, Remus returned to his sandwich, discovering a fresh cut of French brie inside; a change to his regular toppings… a change about him, that’s for sure.

Chapter Text

James had never seen this owl before: and he knew all his friends’ owls quite well. It was a tawny brown, with stripes of black in the feathers, and wide, green eyes. Attached to its golden-yellow claw was a letter sealed in a green ribbon, embossed with “L.E.” on the side. He opened his owl’s cage, making room for it, and taking the letter off as he did so. Gratefully, the owl hopped inside and gulped up the water left in there. James dropped a few treats inside for it, but was too preoccupied with the letter to be careful about his placement, and a few fell into the water.

L.E. could only mean one thing: Lily Evans. And why on earth was she writing him? Any time they interacted outside of class was either begrudgingly, or to berate him for “bullying” Severus and his lackeys. If only she saw his treatment of people like her… unless maybe she had? Was that why she was writing him? Or worse, it could be a total accident, and her owl could’ve completely messed up. His imagination was torturing him, so he conceded defeat, and unfurled the letter.

Dear James, he read, and immediately dropped the letter, in surprise and elation. She had meant to write him, and she hadn’t written “git” or “prat” like she usually called him. He was almost too afraid to keep reading the letter, but he had to forge on. There was a chance she didn’t entirely hate him, and the fact that she could put pen to paper was proof. Or, that she hated him enough to… go postal.

He had to keep reading.

I cannot believe that I am genuinely writing a letter to you, but I have been left with no other choice. Sirius cannot receive letters from me due to his parents’ censorship, and Remus and Peter aren’t going to be helpful with this assignment. I took on extra work over the summer for the Historical Significance of Blood Relations class I’m taking this year.

You are a pureblood. I need you to answer the following questions as succinctly and academically-aware as possible. No horsing around, Potter. Get back to me quickly, this is the last assignment I have.

1. How did your powers first manifest?
2. How did your parents’ powers first manifest?
3. How did your grandparents’ powers first manifest?
4. Were you ever afraid of not having powers? Were your parents?
5. How does being desi change your view of purebloods?

Get back to me quickly. This is not a chance of being “friends” with me, James.

- Lily

James stared blankly at the letter once he was done reading it. Her handwriting was beautiful, and the scrawling of her signature was mesmerizing. He found himself reading, and re-reading the letter, scanning in between the lines, and relishing in how her voice flooded his head as he read. 

Then he actually processed the words. 

Although Sirius was her first choice (of which he would have to give him shit later about), he was the second. Was it by process of elimination? Sure. But he was still elated, and made it his life’s mission to make it the best letter so that she could write the greatest report. Perhaps he could ask for her to send him a copy when it’s done. She’d never go for it, but it couldn’t hurt to ask.

Immediately, James sprinted downstairs, only to remember that his family was insanely busy, as Ayla was getting married, and they were hosting everyone. He found his aunties re-hemming his mother’s sari, as some of the beads had come undone after the last time she’d worn it. His father was getting the collar of one of his shirts altered, and a few of his cousins had begun baking to prepare for the later family arrivals.

“Jamie!” he heard one of his cousins call, Marlo.

“Hi Marlo!” James said, wrapping him in a hug.

“Come help us, we’re making cookies,” Marlo said.

“Gimme a sec, where’re my parents?” he asked.

“Good luck,” Marlo told him, as he gestured around the room. His father had disappeared into the sea of people flooding the living room, and his mom was probably outside welcoming in more family members.

Weddings always brought such joy, and such chaos into their lives. 

“Damnit,” James grumbled. “Remember Lily?”

“The girl your mum said hates you?” Marlo asked.

“Seriously?” James demanded. 

“What?” Marlo said, shrugging.

“Well she doesn't hate me, she asked for my help for a homework assignment. I need Mum and Dad to answer some questions,” James said.

Marlo clapped him on the shoulder. “Good luck mate. I’ll save you a cookie, if I can.”

“All good,” James said, choosing to wander away from Marlo and back into the hoard of people. 

Once he’d gotten through the game of cards, the aunties talking about the latest local election, and the men trying different sets of bangles, he found his father, with his three brothers, each deciding whether or not his collar was tight enough.

“Monty, you’re so temperamental,” James’ Uncle Eric was saying. “It looks fine!”

“But does it say, uncle of the bride-to-be fine?” Fleamont asked.

“Unbelievable!” Uncle Ray protested, throwing his hands up. “Fleamont, you look fine.”

“Where’s my wife?” Fleamont demanded. “She’ll be honest with me.”

“Dad?” James cut in.

“Ah! My son!” Fleamont said, turning and wrapping James in a hug. “Where’s your outfit?”

“I’ll go change in a second, I need you and Mum’s help!” James said, “Lily sent me a letter!”

“Alright get out,” Fleamont said to his brothers. “My son is no longer being totally rejected. I think.”

“Well…” James trailed off. “She needs my help for an assignment. But she did ask for my help! Err… that is after she learned Sirius was unavailable.”

“Hey,” Fleamont said, sitting down and inviting his son to do the same. “Your mom and I were the same.”

“We were not!” Euphemia shouted across the room, which barely cut through the noisy atmosphere. The entire family was so used to their shouting that nobody stopped, and if anything, it took her longer to muscle her way over to them. “I always liked you.”

“Let me lie to your son,” Fleamont hissed.

“What’s going on?” she demanded.

“I need you both to answer a few short questions,” James said. “Please. For love, Mum.”

She narrowed her gaze, surveying the both of them. There was a day until the wedding celebration was set to begin, and there was probably enough time. She relented, and agreed, and they went to a quieter corner of the household so James could record their answers.

Once that was complete, James retreated into his room, throwing up a barrage of locking spells, just to be sure that his writing time would be completely uninterrupted by his cousins barging in. All she really needed was his answers, but he couldn’t leave the rest of her writing unanswered. He consulted how he addressed Sirius in letters to begin this one, treat her as a friend , he told himself. 

Lily,

I promise to make this short, as I’m honestly just bewildered and grateful you even thought to ask me for help. I hope you’ve been enjoying the summer, that the extra classwork hasn’t hindered your fun too much. I’ll keep the answers short, we’re preparing for a wedding.

He copied much of what his parents had told him for the rest of his answers, and decided to end it very simply with: Talk soon. - James . And hopefully that would be enough that showed his interest, but not so much that it would make completing the project any harder. Mostly satisfied with his work, James attached the letter to her owl, and sent it off into the evening sky.

James then returned downstairs, knowing his aunties and uncles would want to help make sure that his dhoti set fit properly. He had grown a bit… and for a moment James wondered if Lily would notice that when he got back to Hogwarts.

--

The music was a loud thrumming in James’ ears as he made his way away from the dance floor. Ayla was sitting and talking with some cousins, taking a break from dancing, and he aimed to do the same, and took the seat next to her. She was explaining some story about when she’d first begun to date Amir, which James had heard a thousand times before.

“Hi Jamie,” she said, before finishing off her story.

“Hi Ayla,” James returned. “How’re you doing?”

“Wonderful,” she said, with a faint smile. “Just wonderful.”

“Ah, such honeymooners,” James’ Auntie Tee teased.

“Auntie, they’ve been like this since they met. I think it’s just them,” James answered.

“It’s love, Auntie Tee,” Ayla said.

“Whatever you say,” she said with a shrug. “We’re going to keep dancing.” She offered her hand to her sister, and the two left back to the dance floor, canes in tow.

“You don’t need to do that,” Ayla said absently to James. “They can talk all they want.”

“I s'pose,” James said with a shrug. “You’re like a big sister to me, I want to defend you.”

“You’re sweet,” Ayla said. “But Amir and I are happy. Auntie Tee can talk all the game she wants, just ‘cause she can’t marry her best friend.”

“Why can’t she?” James asked.

“Jamie, the family doesn’t really like gay people,” she answered. “I mean our branch is fine. But all of them? No way.”

“Mum and Dad are always so chill,” James said, though it was more of a question.

“Our parents are fine,” she explained. “But as you can see, our family is bigger than just the four brothers. Outside of them, acceptance is thin.”

“Oh,” James said flatly.

“Your mum told me about the letter,” Ayla said.

“How?!” James demanded. “How on earth does this family find time to gossip between all the chaos of just being near each other.”

“We find a way.” Ayla shrugged. “I take it it’s a sign of good faith?”

“I dunno,” James answered, running a hand over his face nervously. “She hates my guts. But she could’ve asked one of her actual friends to help, and she asked me. Why is that?”

“Why do you think?” she asked.

“Maybe to apologize for hating me? To extend an olive branch?” he mused.

“Before I met Amir, I was friends with this guy, Earl,” Ayla began to say.

“I remember Earl. We all do. Earl sucks,” James cut in.

“Would you let me finish?” she demanded. He muttered a sheepish apology, and she continued. “Earl and I were really close because he defended me when his friends were dicks back at Hogwarts. But he was fine being an asshole to my other friends. I thought I could change him, show him Desi people weren’t all that bad.”

“But you stopped bringing him around a year before you introduced Amir,” James said.

“I met Amir a year before we started dating. He showed me that it’s a choice to act the way Earl does. I began to distance myself from Earl, and my life became so much easier,” Ayla explained. “Amir never expected anything more than just friendship with me. He let me lead, and I’ll forever be grateful for that.”

“I know she doesn’t like me,” James said. “Maybe she never will. I can just be friends with her. I’m okay with that.”

“Make sure she knows that,” Ayla said, before grinning widely. 

James turned around to see Amir walking over to them, and he stood over Ayla, giving her a quick kiss before turning to James. “Good gossip session?”

“Very,” Ayla said, standing and taking his hand. “Now dance! Have a drink! It’s a wedding!” The two quickly returned to the dance floor, having paused their rounds for the night, clearly intent on getting drunk and having fun.

James sighed, and stood, making his way over to the food tables and grabbing a beer from behind when none of the servers were looking. With a flick of his wand, it popped open and he downed it as quickly as he could. He was never one to love the taste of beer, and he just wanted a light buzz to enjoy the rest of the night.

With Ayla’s words rattling in his head, James sought out Marlo and Evan, to hopefully sneak out back and share a joint with. 

--

It had been the usual, jubilant week of wedding excitement, followed by plans for Christmas to get together once again, followed by a deep cleaning of the house. In all of the chaos and excitement, James had completely forgotten it was almost a week until his return to Hogwarts. His only reminder was the shock he received when Lily’s owl appeared once again in his windowsill, this time with a very, very short letter.

All it said was thanks. Nothing else. James sent her owl back fairly quickly with well wishes for the start of the school year, but he was at a complete loss for how to process this. She’d sent her owl all this way for a one worded message, and he had no idea what it meant. James had made the resolve to discuss it at length with his mother.

He found her in their parlor, knitting and listening to the latest muggle news on the radio. A series of protests in downtown London resulted in the deaths of 14 police officers, and over 300 young British citizens detained. James grabbed a cushion from the couch and sat on it on the floor, placing most of his attention with the puzzle that sat on their coffee table.

His mother said nothing, but did turn down the radio a bit, perhaps to focus her attention a bit more on her son.

“What’re we gonna have for dinner?” James asked.

“Leftovers,” she answered. “How are you doing?”

“Fine, I guess,” James said with an absent shrug. 

“Something’s on your mind,” she commented.

James pondered, biting the inside of cheek as he did. He had discovered the correct edge piece that he was looking for, and went to put it in place as he said, “Lily.”

“Darling,” Euphemia began to say.

James interrupted, “Not like that Mum. She sent me another letter. Here.” He pulled it out of his pocket and handed it over to her.

“‘Thanks’?” she asked.

“All it says,” James answered.

“Well I can see how that would be a bit confusing,” Euphemia said. “What’d you say back?”

“I wished her well on the work, thanked her for the letter, and said we’d talk soon,” James said. He attempted another piece, but it didn’t fit.

“Did you say anything about liking her?” she asked.

“Nope,” James answered. “Took your advice, Dad’s, Ayla’s, even Sirius’.”

“Good,” she said. “You’ve done all you can sweetheart. She knows you like her, but you shouldn’t force it. Whatever will happen has to be on her terms.”

“I know,” James said with a dramatic sigh. “I’m fine with just being friends at this point.”

“Does this mean you’ve considered other people?” Euphemia asked. “Because Marlo knows a fine young woman who I think-”
“Mum!” James protested. 

“What?” she asked, feigning innocence. “You can’t stop us from setting you up.”

“I can certainly try!” James quipped. He tried another piece, and it still didn’t fit. “Oh I give up.”

Euphemia let the topic hang in silence for a minute or so, as she continued to knit, the only noises in the room the clacking of her needles and James’ frustrated grunts as he continued to find the incorrect pieces for the puzzle. The radio buzzed silently in the background, the signal having cut out once again, so she reached over to turn it off.

“We received the materials you’ll need this year,” she said.

“Mm,” James responded absently.

“James,” she said, a bit more sternly to get his attention.

“Sorry,” he said, looking up at her. 

“We got your materials. You, your father and I will go shopping tomorrow, yes?” she asked, though it was not an actual question, simply a fact he had to agree to.

“Alright,” James nodded.

“Good,” she said. Euphemia then leaned back, and smacked the radio with her wand. It whined a moment, before starting back up, and covering the latest news about increasing labor hours in the coal mines. 

James sighed, giving up his work on the puzzle, and returned to his room, hoping to write Sirius one more time before summer came to an end. At least his endeavors in political activism in London could keep him distracted until his return to Hogwarts.

Chapter Text

There was a quiet hum of conversations, ambient music, and the clattering of dishes floating in the air where Peter stood in the alcove behind the restaurant. He was taking a quick smoke break with Andy, for a moment of breathing during this busy shift. It was Peter’s last shift before returning to Hogwarts, so he was happy to take a bit longer hanging out with his coworkers. Despite all the riots in London, where their restaurant was located was quite sheltered, and they served much of London’s upper echelon citizens. The tips were insane .

He flicked the cigarette, and pondered the puddle beneath his Docs. The smoke curled out of his mouth as he exhaled and said, “I can’t believe they’re eating caviar in there.”

“You can’t?” Andy asked.

“It feels so… dystopian,” Peter explained.

“I guess,” he answered with a shrug. He went to take another drag, but the wind around them had blown it out. “Got a light?”

Peter handed him his lighter, before continuing, “I mean three blocks down, they’re arresting protesters.”

“Jesus,” Andy said, finally having lit the cigarette once again. “We should take a different route home.”

“Sounds good to me,” he answered.

The lock towards the back door clicked, to open and reveal their manager. She called them back inside, so the two tied their aprons back on, and headed into the kitchen, and out to the front. Andy returned to where he was acting as hostess, while Peter resumed the tables that he was waiting on. He’d always enjoyed working in a muggle restaurant, the ethic of the people around him, and it kept him immersed in his parent’s lives and culture.

And while they were tenured professors, it was still a bit of that lively culture that he didn’t get to experience too often at Hogwarts. He was a bit saddened to be leaving once again, but was excited at the prospect of returning to his friends.

Peter made his way over to one of his tables, to check in on how they were doing. “Everything alright here?”

“Divine,” the elderly woman said, even though the plate of shrimp pasta she had ordered was mostly untouched. “You must give the chef our compliments.”

“Certainly,” Peter answered with a smile. If only their patrons knew their chef was covered in tattoos, had bright pink hair, and in her spare time played underground punk shows to bully the Prime Minister.

He looked past their table, and noticed another group of customers trying to get his attention. They were somewhat regulars, a group of young men who attended the local all boys prep school, and they adored making fun of all the servers whenever they came by. But they tipped incredibly, so nobody really wanted to do anything about their attitude.

“How can I help?” Peter asked, pushing his annoyance down.

“Lay off the breadsticks,” one of them muttered, and his friends sniggered.

“I’m happy to get you some more, but it will add to your bill,” Peter said with a menacing smile, trying his best to remain calm. 

“No,” their leader scoffed. “We just to see your dessert menu.”

“Certainly!” Peter said, producing a few from his pocket. “Would you like to hear the chef’s special?”

“No,” he said, with a sneer. “Not interested.”

“That’ll be all,” another said, waving his hand to shoo Peter off.

Swallowing nearly all of his pride, Peter nodded calmly, and quickly made his way into the kitchen. He walked over to Nadia, the chef, and delivered the compliments to her on the untouched shrimp, but of course, left out the untouched part. She was a great chef, these rich people just adored sitting on their asses.

“What?” she demanded, after he stared a bit too long.

“Table three is those shithead boys,” Peter said. “I’m so tempted to just threaten to kick them in the balls.”

“You should,” she said, turning to one of the pans and pouring some of the sauce off. “Teach those shits a lesson.”

“I could tank them in a way they’d never expect,” Peter said.

“Pete, as much as I love your murder fantasies-”

“PETER!” Andy shouted from the doorway.

“WHAT?” he demanded, waving goodbye to Nadia, who sighed in relief, before realizing the massive amount of work she was still facing.

“Table three wants you,” Any said, with a warning look in his eyes.

“God,” he grimaced, and then walked over.

The four were sitting in deep discussion, before one of them elbowed the leader, pointing at Peter. They fell silent as he walked up.

“Have you made your selection?” he asked.

“We’d love it if you could get us the chocolate lava cake,” the leader said. “And do us a favor, get yourself a fork too.”

“Excuse me?” Peter demanded.

“Another fork,” he snapped. “So you can eat it just like you’ve clearly done all these other dishes.”

Peter stared blankly at them, trying to process what was going on, before looking over at his manager. She was nearly always on standby whenever that group came into the restaurant, and this was no exception. This was the boldest they’d ever been with their insane behavior, and she gave him a nod that clearly meant, “Give ‘em hell.” So he did.

“Certainly,” Peter said, a false sweetness in his voice. “Would you also like my kidney? Or maybe my left foot?”

“I’m sorry?” their leader asked.

“What else do you want, piss boy?” Peter snapped. 

“What did you just call him?” one of the lackeys demanded.

“Shut the fuck up you little shit,” Peter spat. “We tolerated your bullshit so that we could take money from you but that crosses the fucking line. Mummy can’t come and clean up every mess you make, so instead you will. ”

“Pardon me?” he asked, a look of disgust crawling over his face.

“Pay for your fucking meal,” Peter began to explain. “And then you are going to bus and clean your table yourself. And you’re gonna leave a massive tip.”

“Or what?” he teased back. “Gonna call your mummy?”

“Worse,” he said with a small grin, and leaned forwards on the table, revealing his wand hidden in his sleeve. 

He had long clocked them as wizards, clearly just looking to get their kicks out of messing with muggles without getting caught. They had been using magic nearly every time they were at the restaurant, and he’d let it slide, because to be honest, Peter did the same. But one small report to the ministry, or worse, to where they were at school… it made him gleeful at the thought.

“Yes,” one of them sputtered, almost immediately.

“Don’t concede,” the other hissed. “He’s faking.”

“Try me,” Peter answered, before leaning back. He grabbed a rag and a spray bottle, and set them on the table. He then held out their check, and made each of them rifle through their wallets, paying the bill and forcing each to leave a 25% tip. 

“Sorry,” the leader mumbled.

“Tell that to your mother,” he snapped. 

He left them cleaning the table, while returning to his boss, with a grin. “Hope you don’t have to fire me.”

“You’re already quitting,” she answered. “But good work, Peter. Whatever you said scared ‘em straight.”

“They won’t come back here,” he said with a shrug. “Hope that’s alright.”

“I don’t care,” she answered. “Just glad they’re gone. You’re off for the night, right?”

“Yeah, they were my last table,” Peter answered. “Andy and I are gonna catch a bus home.”

“Be safe, there’s more protests going on,” she informed him. “And have a great school year.”

“Thanks,” he answered, before returning to the break room, to clock out for the last time, and leave his apron in his locker.

--

It had been a few quiet nights at home, while Peter’s father, Daniel, was on research assignment in Galway, and his mother, Eileen, was working later helping reorganize the archives in the university. He’d had the house to himself for a bit, which meant even after his shift at the restaurant, he often found himself cooking once again.

That night coming home was no exception to this rule, but he did find a note from his mother, informing him that it would be her last night of working late. He went about preparing a simple pesto sauce to glaze the cuts of steak he had prepared the night before. And, since he was in the baking mood, he decided to prepare some simple shortbread jam pressed biscuits. 

As he was in the middle of all the cooking and baking, the door clicked and opened to reveal his mother, having gotten off work an hour early. She set her bags down on the table, and went over to give Peter a hug.

“Hi my darling,” she said breathlessly, clearly worn out from hiking up the four flights of stairs. The elevator was out of order.

“Hi Mum!” Peter said cheerfully. “I’ll put another piece of steak on for you.”

“I brought bread from the market,” she said, unpacking the groceries. “I’ll cut some for us.”

“Thanks,” he answered. “How was work?”

“Oh, it was fine,” she said, a bit absently. “I’m just grateful that we finished archiving the new records so early. Gives me more time with you before you’re gone!”

“I’m glad too,” Peter said, turning to finish chopping the strawberries, now that the sugar was reducing on the stove. He grabbed a cut of the steak and set it on a plate next to the stove, to heat up for his mom.

“What’re you making?” she asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Strawberry shortbreads,” Peter answered, without looking up from stirring the sugar once again.

“Sounds divine,” she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll heat up the meat, can I help with the cookies?”

“No,” he said, “the jam is almost done, but thank you.”

“How was work for you?” she asked, as she melted some butter in the pan, before adding the steak.

“Oh it was fine,” Peter said. “Bullied some rich teenagers.”

“Darling!” she said, though her tone was a mocking-scold.

“I caught them using magic,” he elaborated.

“My goodness!” she said, with a gasp. “Thank god you caught them. Did you give them a warning?”

“Of sorts,” he said, shrugging, refusing to elaborate more.

She elbowed him from where they were standing side-by-side at the stove, but laughed at his comments nonetheless. “We got the list of your supplies.”

“James said he’ll be shopping in a few days, and offered to pick me up,” Peter said. “I’ll go with them.”

“Could I tag along?” she asked. “I’d love to catch up with Euphemia.”

“Sure,” he said, as he added the strawberries into the jam base. 

Eileen sighed, thinking carefully about the next question she wanted to ask. Peter knew not to push her, and continued reducing the jam, and checking on the cookies in the oven. He would set them later in the fridge, but for now they needed a few more minutes. He liked cooking without magic, as it was how he had grown up cooking. It reminded him of cooking with his mom when he was younger.

Eileen took the steak off the pan, and grabbed the sauce off the counter to glaze it. She had set a few pieces of the fresh bread on her plate, and discovered that Peter had buttered them for her.

“Thank you,” she said, going to sit at the table in the breakfast nook.

“Of course,” he answered.

“Are you excited to go back?” she asked.

“Oh yeah,” he said, nodding. 

“Just to see your friends… or…?” she trailed off, hoping he’d fill in with some romantic life information.

And to be honest, he hadn’t ever really considered having a romantic life. He supposed there would be some word for it, but he never looked at girls (or guys) for that matter in that way. He loved his friends, and that was all he really needed.

“No, Mum,” Peter answered her unasked question, “There’s no romantic life for me.”

“I hope you know, even if, say, maybe you…” she trailed off again, trying to find the words. “Like if you wanted to say that James or Sirius were more than just-”

“Mum!” Peter protested. “They’re my friends. I appreciate the sentiment, but you’re way off base. I’m not gay.” To be fair, he wasn’t straight either.

“Okay!” she said, throwing her hands up, feigning defeat. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I am,” he said, and that was the truth. He loved the way his life was running. “Even with all the shit in this country, I’m pretty happy.”

“Lord,” she said. “The protests were awful tonight.”

“Did you have to get through them to get home?” he asked.

“I went around. You know what those punks would do to some old lady dressed in tweed?” Though it was a rhetorical, she made a fair point; even if she knew she was on their side, they had no way of knowing.

“You could wear some pins on your bag, or something,” Peter offered. 

“Please,” she scoffed. “Like the university would allow that.”

She was right, and Peter had to concede that. He said nothing as he went about pouring the jam and setting the cookies carefully onto their resting tray, before putting them in the fridge. She was content to eat in silence for a bit, enjoying the pause to process their discussion.

“Maybe I could lace my Docs,” she mused aloud.

“Mum, you wear brown loafer Docs,” Peter answered. “I doubt they’ll care.”

“I just want my students to know I support them!” she exclaimed.

“Then, maybe, tell them?” he asked.

“Ah, my boy,” she said as she shook her head, “I wish I could. But the university would eat me alive. They rather like our institutions corrupt.”

“They always do,” Peter said.

He had mostly finished the baking, and set them to rest in the fridge. He took a moment to catch his breath, drink some water, and stretch out before he would begin the task of cleaning the entire kitchen. Perhaps this would be a time using magic was warranted…

“Darling, I’ll clean the kitchen,” his mother interrupted his thoughts.

“You sure?” he asked. “I made kind of a mess.”

“I don’t mind!” She waved off his concerns. “You go rest.”

“Thank you!” he said, giving her a quick hug. She grinned, and he gave her a kiss on the cheek, before returning to his room, to write back to James saying that he and his mom would join them on their school-supply trip.

--

There were only two days until he was set to return to Hogwarts, and his stuff was mostly packed. He was sitting on the floor in his room, deciding which jacket to wear, because tonight was not for packing, nor was it for anything magic related. Nadia and her band were performing at a house show in Hackney, before the group gathered planned to walk out on the coal mines. He wouldn’t be able to join the walk, in case he got arrested and couldn’t go back to school, but he loved watching Nadia perform.

A sharp knocking at his window interrupted his thought, and he saw Ethan standing outside wearing a wicked grin, a pair of platform Docs, and his hair was gelled into spikes. Peter grinned, and slid the window open to let him inside.

“Ya ready?” Ethan asked as he stepped inside.

“Which jacket?” he asked, holding up the options.

“Th’ red,” Ethan answered. “Now c’mon! They’re startin’ soon!”

“Alright, alright,” Peter said, and followed him out the window. 

The easy access to his room from the fire escape always made sneaking out quite easy. They dodged their way through cops and ducked between cars as they made their way across London into Hackney. 

He and Ethan had grown up together, causing all kinds of trouble in primary school, before Peter went off to Hogwarts. Ethan had long figured out Peter’s secret, but knew better than to tell anyone. Besides, they were childhood best friends, and he would never narc. So long as they were together, Peter could pull extra shit over people’s heads, and Ethan was the only one who knew.

That night, at the show, once they’d gotten inside, he and Ethan found themselves near the front of the mosh pit. Nadia, her girlfriend, the guitarist, and two of their friends had formed the band a few years earlier. They were playing one of their signature songs to start off the show, and Peter and Ethan knew all the words by heart.

They were jumping together with all the other punks in the basement, screaming along the words, trading joints and sips of beer as they did. It was one of his favorite things in the world, being surrounded by friends and listening to fantastic music as he did. Peter loved these moments, and couldn’t wait to show his friends them when they came to visit. 

“How’s th’ show?!” Ethan shouted, accent thick through the noise.

“Bitchin’!” Peter shouted back.

“Ya joinin’ th’ prot’st?!” Ethan asked.

“I can’t!” Peter answered. “But take this!” He pressed a disposable camera into Ethan’s hand. “Get me some pictures!”

“Aw hell yeah!” Ethan shouted, wrapping Peter in a bear hug, which was quickly piled onto by other people in the crowd.

They decided to sneak off to the side of the room, to share a joint and relax as the band switched out their sets. Ethan was leaning on the wall while Peter stood in front of him, taking a couple hits.

“Are ya excit’d to go back?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah!” Peter said. “I’ll miss you, but I do love it there.”

“Could I eva visit ya?” Ethan asked.

“You’re not supposed to know,” Peter reminded him.

“Aw hell,” Ethan said, with a shake of his head.

“Can I ask you something?” Peter posed, teeing up his actual question.

“What’s up?” Ethan asked, taking the joint from him.

“My mum asked me something a few days ago,” Peter explained. “About my love life. And I just didn’t know what to say.”

“Oi! I’m th’ gay un in this friendship!” Ethan protested.

“Why does everybody think I’m gay?!” Peter demanded. “Isn’t there some other option than gay and straight?”

“Bi?” Ethan asked.

“Nope.” Peter shook his head, and took the joint back from Ethan, to take another drag as he pondered. “I don’t like anyone. Well like. I don’t… want a relationship. At all. I never have.”

“Yanno…” Ethan trailed off into thought, as he looked past Peter. He waved over one of their friends, Addy, who came over to say hi.

“What’s up?” she asked, before seeing the joint. “Can I have a hit?”

Ethan looked to Peter, who nodded.

“Addy, what’s that word ya used,” Ethan began to ask. “When ya explained yer sexuality?”

“Ace?” she asked, showing off the new pin on her sleeve. “What ‘bout it?”

“What’s that?” Peter asked.

“I don’t like anyone romantically,” she explained, “is the gist of it.”

“You can do that?!” Peter demanded, jumping with excitement.

“You can do whatever you want,” Addy answered.

“That’s what ya were talkin’ ‘bout,” Ethan said.

“You might be right,” Peter said, nodding.

“What’s in your hand?” Addy asked Ethan.

“Camera Peter gave me,” he explained.

“Let me take the first picture, of you two,” she offered.

“Thanks!” Peter said with a grin. 

Ethan snatched the joint from her, as he handed her the camera. Ethan swung his arm around Peter’s shoulders, as the flash glinted in their eyes, and Addy was throwing the camera back at them and walking away before they could process. Ethan was more than happy to keep smoking with Peter, as he processed the information that he was presented.

He was sure that his friends would want to know, not that it would change anything about their relationship. And his parents wouldn’t care, all they wanted was to support him, and they handled the magic reveal rather well. He would probably talk to Remus first, but god did this make life for him more confusing.

With a bit more resolve, and confidence, they returned to the crowd to continue dancing throughout the night, and Peter found himself more and more at home, with the idea of an identity that finally felt like him.

Chapter Text

“It’s choking me,” Sirius protested, pulling at the collar of his shirt.

“Quit it,” Walburga snapped, and slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

He huffed, and stood straight, raising his chin to give her a chance to readjust his tie for the final time. She smoothed the lapels of the suit jacket, checked on the fasteners that brought the cloak to his shoulders, and smoothed down the vest at his waist. Orion handed her the final silver chain, which she promptly hooked into his pocket to mimic a pocket watch, then stood back, scrutinizing her son.

“‘Is hair is too long,” Orion commented.

“Darling zat is just ‘is face,” she answered, resting a hand on his cheek.

He said nothing, glaring down at his son, before squeezing Walburga’s hand, and exiting the room, most likely to the parlor, where the family was waiting.

Walburga stepped close to Sirius, examining his appearance, before tapping her wand to his temple and whispering, “ Legilimens .” 

He froze, standing straight, trying his best to remain calm and force her back out of his mind. But it had been years of torture like this, and it was something - like all of his trauma - that he just had to push down. This summer, it was far worse than any other before. Though she hadn’t discovered his darkest secrets, she’d gotten close. 

Her voice suddenly filled his mind.

You vill be a good son. Her fucking French accent. You vill not disobey. You vill follow the commands asked of you. And then she began to probe. Delving into his mind, carding through his memories, and it flooded Sirius’ body with fear. He felt his fingertips go numb, and his tongue lax in his mouth, knowing she was about to draw the truth out of him at all costs.

He couldn’t let her in. She couldn’t see what he was hiding. Sirius looked down and realized that his fingernails were digging so deep into his palms that he was bleeding, and it made Walburga grin. Every flick of her wand, subtle touch of her fingertips felt like fire, all he wanted to do was peel off his own skin so that he’d never have to know her touch again.

And then it came flooding into his mind.

He was standing in the Common Room with Remus, and they were in the middle of celebrating their win over Hufflepuff. Remus was looking down at him, those golden-amber eyes hooded and possessive, and it made his insides feel like mush. Sirius always knew he liked men, and only men, but he’d been quite practiced at hiding it. Yet in that moment, his best friend looked at him like he was the only person in that room, and it made him feel alive. All he wanted was for Remus to just-

“STOP!” he shouted, smacking her hand away, breaking free of the curse for a moment.

Walburga froze, holding her hand in shock, before fury crawled over her face. Her eyebrows drew together, and her mouth went flat and tight, before she spoke again: “ Crucio .”

Tiny needles, burning white hot spread over his body, all he wanted was for it to stop, tears began to slip from his eyes, as he dropped to his knees, silently begging his mother to stop, to let him go, he felt nails crawling up his skin, it felt like acid was being thrown in his eyes as they burned and stung and then it just stopped . Sirius was on his hands and knees, panting, and Walburga was standing above him, with a wicked glare.

“Never disobey your muzzer,” she said, speaking slowly and deliberately. “Get up. You embarrazz yourself.”

Miserably, Sirius found the strength to stand. She adjusted his outfit once more, even though he recoiled from her touch. It was time to go into the Floo for the Ball, and what she had seen would most certainly be a topic for discussion later.

 Just one more week. He told himself. If he could survive that, he might never have to return here again.

--

Every summer, the Black family hosted the Solstice Ball. They owned various event spaces across England and France, and this year it was hosted at the summer home in Alsace. The hosts were always the last to arrive, which is why Sirius and his family appeared out of the Floo last. Most of the guests were milling about before dinner was to be served, exploring the Grand Ballroom.

He discovered his cousins and their parents waiting for them, with feigned patience. It was all an act, like every Black family event was, but that was perhaps the point. Bellatrix stood at the end of the room, adjusting her hair in the mirror, pouting her lip every so often, to test how her lipstick held.

Narcissa was silent, staring at the floor, her father’s hand on her shoulder. Her long blond hair was tucked behind her ears, her bangs freshly trimmed, and the silvery white gown glittered in the candle light of the room. Andromeda stood opposite her, wearing a grimace as she observed her sisters in their different moods of displeasure. Hidden beneath the skirts of her mauve dress was a pair of boots, and tied to her upper thigh were five joints, though if asked, it was to “share” with her cousins. Their mother stood before Floo, the first to greet them when they arrived.

“Bonjour, bonjour!” she said, her voice dripping with cheerfulness as she kissed Walburga on both cheeks.

His mother gave a curt smile, awkwardly hugging her back before walking over to greet her brother. He released his grip on Narcissa, and she immediately stood and sat next to Andromeda, and Sirius could faintly hear her heart pounding. It was one of the aspects of being an Animagus that drove him insane, though he did feel bad for the stress she was being put under.

“Hi Bella,” Sirius said calmly, after having greeted his aunt and uncle.

“Sirius,” she said, her voice sharp as ever. “How do I look?”

“Fit to be a queen,” he said calmly, which earned him a false smile. In reality, they were being as petty as possible as they could under the watchful eye of their parents.

“Reggie!” Bellatrix looked past Sirius and extended her arms out to him, which he uncomfortably accepted, looking to Sirius for respite.

He, however, had gone to greet Narcissa and Andromeda, each who had a different variant of “find a way to sneak out” to tell him. Regulus managed to break free, and Walburga grabbed him to fix his hair once more, before he walked over to Sirius.

Silently, Regulus was glaring at his brother saying, Really?

To which Sirius answered, I’m not getting involved with her bull.

She isn’t that bad. Regulus shrugged at Sirius.

He had to stifle a snort, knowing what Regulus actually meant to say.

“Arr we ready?” Druella addressed the room.

“Oui,” Walburga answered. 

The family immediately fell into place; Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Andromeda took the front, lacing their arms together. Behind them, Sirius and Regulus stood side by side, refusing to link arms. Druella and Cygnus followed, with Walburga and Orion behind them. This was how the grand entrance was made each time, presenting the sisters, the brothers, the second born, and the first born. In this way, it cued Walburga up perfectly for a speech.

The sisters descended the staircase, and stood at the front of the dance floor. Their entrance signaled the rest of the party to pay attention to the stairs, and one by one, each stepped forwards, gave a gentle curtsy to the crowd, and then stepped back. They went to sit at the head table as Sirius and Regulus followed, mimicking the presentation of bowing and then returning. Finally, once all but Walburga and Orion were seated, they stepped forwards to the balcony overlooking the crowd.

“Bonjour,” Walburga said, her voice amplified with a spell, but still clear and crisp. How Sirius had grown to hate that sound. 

The crowd responded with the same greeting.

She droned on in French for quite some time, before translating the key parts into English. The guests were instructed to find their seats at their tables, and food would be served shortly after. The band took up a dirge to play Walburga and Orion’s official entrance to the party. He gave her a short spin to show off the craftsmanship of the dress, while she stood idly by as he bowed. 

Only once they took their seats were the rest of the guests permitted to sit. Immediately afterwards, the elves began to sprint about, serving up the first course: an appetizer of paté with a slow-cooked cherry tomato served over a piece of grilled baguette. 

Sirius sat between Regulus and Andromeda, and while Regulus was solely focused on surviving the evening, Sirius and Andromeda were looking for any chance to escape. While she was hiding multiple joints, he was hiding a pack of cigarettes, knowing that he would find some chance to sneak away.

“When do you return?” she asked him, crafting the sentence carefully.

“Mid August,” he answered. “But perhaps sooner.”

“Since wh-” Regulus began to ask, but Sirius kicked him under the table to get him to shut up. He nodded his comprehension, and although didn’t approve, he wasn’t about to stop him either.

“If you’re fine with skipping something sweeter…” Andromeda started to say.

“Yes,” Sirius immediately answered.

“Regulus, my boy,” Orion interrupted their discussion. “Your uncle ‘as asked you a question.”

“Désolé,” he murmured. “Oui, Uncle?”

“‘Ow arr your studies going?” Cygnus repeated. 

“Just fine,” Regulus began to explain, and Sirius and Andromeda exchanged a look. 

The perfect distraction. 

Sirius stood first, walking off without a word, ignoring the silent protests of his mother’s facial expressions. He first went into the kitchen, stole a plate of the appetizers, and then snuck out the back into the courtyard. Walburga would never go outside to check on him, for fear of appearing rude, and would much rather chew him out back at home.

Andromeda followed suit, but bid adieu to her sisters (silently implying either could come with her), before she went to the bathroom. From there, she snuck into the courtyard, hoping the distraction of Regulus being paraded as the perfect Slytherin child would act as enough for them.

“Got a light?” she asked him.

“Right here,” he said, pulling out his wand.

“I do not trust you,” she said, immediately recoiling.

“Oh relax, Remus taught me zis,” Sirius said, and pulled out a cigarette and lit it, offering her one. 

She gingerly accepted, and allowed him to light it and pass it over - Remus’ abilities were not mirrored by Sirius in any way, shape, or form.

“You always talk about ‘im,” she commented. 

“I do not,” Sirius scoffed.

Andromeda took a long drag on the cigarette, before pulling out her joints. “You do,” she said, the smoke curling with her exhale.

“Whatever,” Sirius said, huffing.

“You talk about James all ze time,” she started saying, “but not ‘ow you talk about Remus.”

Sirius shot her a glare. Even though she was right, nobody in the family knew, nobody in the family even knew he was gay. 

“I kissed a girl last month,” she commented idly. “She wants to go out again.”

Sirius stared at her, slightly slack-jawed. She handed him the joint calmly, clearly intent on him lighting it.

 “If zis is a metaphor, I do not get it,” he said, lighting it and taking a drag before handing it back to her.

“It’s not,” she said, stubbing out her cigarette in favor of the joint.

Sirius continued to smoke, but thought long and hard about what Andromeda was saying. She wouldn’t care, hell Narcissa wouldn’t care. The rest of them… he couldn’t trust. And worse, if it was a recent memory of him telling Andromeda, Walburga could find it, and she most certainly was not done torturing him. 

He let out a long exhale, smoke following as he did, before saying, “You should not ‘ave done zat.” But his eyes betrayed each word he was saying, as though he was begging her to understand.

“I lied,” she said, with a shrug. The way her brows tensed, and the way her mouth twitched let him know that she knew, and it was okay. And that lie would cover her ass in case Walburga decided to inform her parents of the same information.

“‘Ow’s Bella?” Sirius asked.

“She’s ze same. Muzzer and Fazzer ‘ave just introduced ‘er to… amm…” she trailed off, trying to remember the suitor’s name.

“Rodolphus?” Sirius asked.

“‘Ow do you know?” Andromeda demanded.

“Muzzer told me about it,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Zey were going to do ze same with me, but-” and he shrugged, to punctuate the sentence.

“I see,” Andromeda nodded.

The pair sat in silence, continuing to smoke and listen to the noise of the party inside. Soon, there would be dancing, and far too much drinking. Walburga would be slightly tipsy and need Orion’s support to get home, Bellatrix would be off torturing Regulus until Sirius rescued him, and Narcissa would be quiet as ever, avoiding all interactions until Andromeda came to talk to her. It happened at every family party.

The sharp clicking of heels made both of them jump up and put out their respective substances, hiding them in their pockets, while Andromeda casted a quick perfume Charm to mask the scent.

“Wair ‘ave you been?” Narcissa demanded.

“Narcissa!” Andromeda hissed, completely shocked to find her.

“Aunt Walburga wants Sirius,” she said, nodding to him.

“Great,” he said with a grimace. “I’ll pay my respects inside.”

The three made their way back inside, only to discover that the dancing had begun. Walburga was glaring down at Sirius, clearly furious he hadn’t even tried to come up with an excuse to leave. She sent him to go find Regulus so that they could deliver apologies to Druella and Cygnus, but it wouldn’t matter. 

By the time he returned with Regulus, they would be off dancing and Walburga would be making her rounds with their guests. It was easier to accept the punishment later, and enjoy the time that he did get to have with his cousin.

Nevertheless, he still made his way over to go rescue Regulus, who was clearly trying his best to appease Bellatrix, though it was always to no avail.

--

Orion Black’s study was incredibly well organized. There were various accolades and pieces of Renaissance art adorning the walls, while the bookshelves were ladened with different pieces from himself, family members, and famous wizards. His desk was a dark chestnut, harvested from the trees outside, and crafted by master elves who were trained in woodworking.

Sirius Black stood across the table from him, unable to sit down. His father was facing away, seeming to take in a piece of art, which Sirius recognized as a page from the Book of Kells. Whether or not it was an actual page was a question for another time. 

His behavior at the Ball had been severely reprimanded (as was Andromeda’s), but there was the matter of the memory that Walburga had uncovered. It didn’t reveal too much, but she had parsed out most of what it meant. There was a very good chance that they would find some new way to torture him, even while he was gone for school.

“Sit,” his father finally said, turning and taking the grand seat behind the desk. So Sirius did the same, and stared blankly at his father. “Your muzzer told me vat happened.”

“So?” Sirius said, refusing to make eye contact.

“Look at me when you speak,” he said, his voice sharp to the stale air in the room, forcing Sirius to raise his gaze.

“Oui, Fazzer,” Sirius said, his voice barely a whisper.

“Never, in ze history of zis family,” Orion began to lecture, “‘as zere ever been someone like you.”

“Merci,” Sirius said under his breath.

Orion shot up, slamming his hands on the desk. “TAIS-TOI!”

Sirius bit his tongue and sunk deeper into the chair. 

“Ve do not send you to zat school to be gay ,” Orion snarled. “You arr lucky zat ve ‘ave let you run wild for so long. If ve catch un word of zis… boy in your life again…”

“You’ll vat?” Sirius snapped back, sitting up once more. “You can’t make my life any werse zo long as I am here.”

“You ‘ave no place ‘ere!” Orion shouted. “You arr anozzer mouth to feed and child to be dizzapointed by!”

“Orion!” a voice came from behind them. Walburga was standing there, with her arms crossed, glaring sternly at both of them.

“Oui?” he asked, trying to relax a bit.

“Do not be so hasty,” she advised. “Sirius, ve love you.” She walked over to where Orion was standing and laid a hand on his chest. “So long as you protect ze family name.”

He stood up, trying to gauge what the hell was going on with them with a single look. Usually they were a united front when it came to hating him, but they stood on opposite sides of this battle. Orion was red in the face, ready to kick Sirius out any moment, while Walburga, though hating his guts, needed him for… some reason.

It was probably to keep up the appearances of a happy family, after all, a blood traitor gay son wasn’t exactly top of their wishlist when it came to what the public knew about them. And after his arrests earlier that summer for helping muggle protestors, he was on extra thin ice. There was a chance they truly would be done with him, and would be done with him soon.

“You ‘ave a home here,” she said, her voice mellifluous and calm. “So long as you arr a good model of zis family.”

“Zen why ‘aven’t you send me packing yet?” Sirius demanded.

The laugh that left her lips was curt and dry, heartless just like her soul. It was the family name, after all. So long as he wasn’t kicked out, they were the perfect parents. They were raising a problem child and slowly teaching him the ways of a proper pureblood heir. And Sirius felt he couldn’t leave, because he had to protect Regulus from their rage.

As long as he was there, Regulus was safe. Though Regulus kissed their asses, and was the perfect son for them, he was brutalized in a different way by Walburga’s rage. As long as Sirius was home, not only could he shield his brother, but he could teach him just why they were wrong. He couldn't leave, as much as he didn’t want to stay.

Walburga had noticed that Sirius was weighing all of this information as the three stood silently in the room. He had a few days left to pack, and that could be done alone, completely avoiding his family for the most part. Surviving two more years was daunting, unstomachable, but in that moment, he decided he had to. If not for himself, to save his brother. No matter what he did to tarnish the Black name, it would never amount to enough to warrant being exiled from the family. They wanted him to run, so they could play the bereft parents.

And he wanted to stay for Reggie. So Sirius planted his feet in the ground, and drew his head up high, having made a silent decision about what would happen in the next few days.

“You understand?” she asked, feigning ignorance, smiling a wicked grin at him.

Sirius let out a long exhale, and swallowing all of his pride, he hung his head, and the word was a ghost on his lips as he said, “Oui.”

Chapter Text

Minutes melted into hours as Remus’ foot tapped impatiently against the ground, awaiting his friend’s arrival. They were always far later than he, and though they had set a time to meet, he had expected they’d be late. An hour late, however, was a bit shocking, and he planned to give them plenty of grief for it. He expected Sirius’ accent to be thick and heavy upon returning, he expected James to be laden with gifts from seeing his family over the summer, and he expected Peter to return with a pocket full of cash, and an even larger bevy of stories to deliver from the restaurant.

What he was not expecting, however, was that all three of them had arrived about thirty minutes prior, and had simply laid a small welcome-back prank for him. They were hiding around the corner, waiting for him to go to the bathroom. Which promptly happened after he checked his watch for the fourth time. Desperately trying to keep quiet, they snuck over to the bench that he was seated at, and set their stuff down around it, and sat down on the bench.

His parents noticed, but with a single hush from James, knew what they were planning and decided to go along with it. Euphemia and Fleamont went to greet Hope and Lyall, while Peter’s mother had to leave as soon as he was dropped off to get to work. 

In the bathroom, Remus ran a hand over his face, inspecting and picking at some of the fresher scars that had developed over the summer. A new gash ran up his neck and across his jaw, and though it had mostly scarred over, it was still a bit pink and raw. He hung his head, wondering what they’d have to say about his appearance now. If Sirius would still look at him the same.

He checked his watch once more, and then promptly made his way back to the bench. And he saw them. With shit-eating grins. Acting as though nothing was going on at all. James looked the same as ever, his hair unruly and glasses askew, his skin was darker with the summer sun, but his brown eyes glittered all the same. Beside him, Peter stood, grinning widely at something Sirius was saying, his blue eyes shining, his mousy brown hair falling over his face. 

And Sirius . In a stupid, tight-fitting, black long sleeve, with a stupid grey jacket, his stupid, beautiful, curly black hair tied into a half-up, half-down bun, stray pieces falling into those slate blue eyes. Those stupid, signature black jeans hugging his hips, the Docs, ladder-laced with yellow string, and… god. He’d gotten a fucking eyebrow piercing to match the nose ring. Every smile, every laugh, the way he furrowed his brows in concentration, and the way his eyes shone with excitement, it made Remus weak in the knees.

He had to pull it together.

“Oi! Lupin!” James shouted. “Where ya been mate?”

“Sod off!” Remus shouted back, sprinting over and wrapping him in a hug. Peter piled on, and Sirius did too, the boys falling to the ground with the weight of excitement and joy at seeing each other once again.

Their parents watched on fondly, smiling at the scene. Euphemia whispered something to Fleamont, and he grinned at the statement.

“‘Ow did you not noteece us?” Sirius asked, as they all sat up, shaking off the excitement. His accent always made Remus’ heart beat. 

“Alright French man,” Peter teased.

“Oi!” James argued. “No bullying the French without me.”

“Ya lot are quite shit at pranks,” Remus said. “That is, with’ut me.”

“Can ve not make fun of ze Welsh man?” Sirius demanded. “‘E iz harder to unzerstand zan me!”

“No, mate, he really isn’t,” James said, gently patting him on the shoulder.

“Boys,” Hope called to them. “You best get on the train now.”

“Oh al’right,” Remus conceded, and the rest echoed their agreement.

Sirius and Peter stood awkwardly behind Remus and James as they bid goodbye to their parents, and while Peter’s mom couldn’t stay, Sirius’ parents declined to show up altogether. Regulus had long joined his friends on the train, leaving Sirius to wait for the perfectly timed “prank” that didn’t come to fruition.

Euphemia and Hope, however, gave Peter and Sirius hugs and kisses, while Fleamont and Lyall gave them a firm handshake, clearly equally excited to see them again, but forlorn that they had to leave so soon. Perhaps a visit during the Winter Break would have to be in order.

Still, the boys waved goodbye to their family, and boarded the train, in search of their usual train car, while their parents stayed to watch the train pull out. As always, they found their car empty, and loaded their luggage overhead or underfoot, and found their seats. Sirius flopped down next to where Remus had already pulled out a book (to distract himself), whereas James and Peter were talking in hushed tones, over a bag that the other two couldn’t see the contents of. 

“Vat ‘ave you got?” Sirius demanded.

“Nothing!” James said.

“A French to English dictionary,” Peter quipped, and James snorted. 

“Leave ‘em be,” Remus said, without looking up. “Whatev’r they’re doin’ ain’t our probl’m.”

“We’re waiting ‘til the train starts anyways,” Peter informed them.

“Shh!” James hissed. “Allow me to subtly, and very suavely change the topic and ask Peter how the show in Hackney went.”

“Real smooth,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“It was good,” Peter answered, following James’ cue. “Nadia and her band are really awesome. It was nice to catch up with Ethan, and I got to see Addy too.”

“Muggle friends?” Sirius asked, to clarify if they were the same people he was thinking of.

“Yep,” Peter nodded. “Even though I couldn’t go to the protest, it was still great to be at the show.”

“Is that where ya got th’ pin?” Remus asked, gesturing at the new pin on his shoulder. 

“Ah,” Peter said, nodding a bit uncomfortably. 

Remus caught on immediately, realizing what it probably symbolized. “Ya don’t have to tell us.”

“No, it’s okay,” Peter said. “I was meaning to once we got on the train anyways.”

“Am I missing zometing ‘ere?” Sirius asked, looking as equally lost as James.

“It’s a pin that symbolizes my sexuality,” Peter explained. “That… I’m ace.”

“Al’right,” Remus said, idly flipping a page of the book. “Don’t change how I feel ‘bout ya.”

“How does he know what everything means?” James whispered, very loudly to Sirius.

“‘E’s got an enzyclopedia in ‘is brain,” Sirius answered.

“You realize you aren’t whispering,” Peter said.

“Uh. Yeah.” James’ eyes shifted around the caboose awkwardly. “So. Uh. What does that mean? For those of us that are unaware.”

“It means I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction,” Peter explained. “And I don’t really want to.”

“Oh,” James said, nodding slowly. “Yeah okay.”

“Zounds good to me,” Sirius echoed the same sentiment. “I’m ‘appy you feel safe to tell us, Peterr.”

“I guess I should’ve expected you guys to be so chill,” Peter mused. “It’s still nice to hear though.”

“Anyone else have exciting revelations to share?” James asked. 

Sirius stared blankly at the wall, and Remus refused to look up from the page he was reading, even though he was stuck looking at the same word without moving on.

“What about that ball?” Peter asked. 

“Eet was okay,” Sirius said. “My muzzer was her usual pleasant self-” Sirius never told his friends about the extent of her abuse. And he tried so hard to keep it that way. “-but not too unbearable. Eet was nice to see Andromeda and Narcissa.

“Bella was ‘er same self, but she resorteed to torturing Reggie, not me. Andie and I got caught smokeng out ze back.” He shrugged, lapsing into silence.

“So, the usual Black family event?” James asked.

“Our zignature,” he said, with a dramatic sigh.

“Do you remember when we first met, and we had to teach you how to talk like a normal human being?” Peter asked.

“Oh my god he was incomprehensible,” James said, laughing.

“We may need to do that again,” Peter said, causing Remus to stifle a laugh.

“Vat?” Sirius demanded.

“Really?” Peter asked, “Do you not hear yourself? ‘Vat, zees is ‘ow I talk!’” he said, mocking the accent, and pitching up his voice as he did.

“Ach!” Sirius scoffed, throwing his hands up. “My voice ees not that ‘igh!”

“No, I think Pete is spot on,” James said, giggling to himself.

The train lurched, interrupting their teasing of Sirius, and they were officially off, beginning the long journey off to Hogwarts. Anticipating the long journey ahead, Peter and James shared a look, trying to gauge when their festivities should begin. Sirius, not aware of what they were planning, was more set on trying to coax Remus out of the book, and get him to pay attention to himself.

“We’re gonna go,” James said, interrupting Sirius’ prodding of Remus.

“Why?” Remus demanded.

“Er,” James started to say.

“Nope,” Peter cut him off. “He must know nothing.”

“Okay.” James nodded, and followed him out of the car, the large bag not-so-subtly hidden behind his back.

Remus shook his head with a chuckle, as he pulled out a pen to mark something on the page he was reading.

--

James and Peter were hiding between cars, wedged behind a curtain, practicing the Charm they planned to use on the item in the bag on the wall. It was a large bag of plastic spiders that had been recovered in their attic from a few Halloweens prior. Peter, the ever talented at Charms, was teaching James the Sticking Charm and how to apply it to the spiders.

It was a simple motion, circular wave at the object, then pointed throw at the target. They were sitting at opposite ends, and practicing behind the wall of the other.

“Lentos,” Peter murmured, showing the motion to James once more. It landed next to his head, and he jumped back.

“I think I got it,” James said, copying Peter’s movements. The spider slid a bit, but it eventually stuck to the wall.

“C’mon,” Peter scoffed. “Try it once more.”

“Okay,” James sighed, and murmured, “Lentos.” The spider leapt with James’ motions, and adhered itself right on Peter’s nose.

“OI!” Peter exclaimed, surprised and miffed.

James sniggered, trying to contain his laughter, “My bad mate.”

“James I swear to god,” Peter warned, gently muttering the reversal spell, sloughing the spider off into his hand.

James couldn’t stop laughing, until Peter threw the spider back at him. “Am I ready?” he asked.

“Yep,” Peter said, grabbing the bag of spiders, and standing up. “Where first?”

“I think you know,” James answered, and in a fit of giggles, the two made their way down the corridor, following the scent of acne, angst, and grease.

As they wove through cars and groups of students, they were fixing spiders anywhere and everywhere they could. They passed Frank, Alice, and Arthur, who were helping a few first-years find their way to a car. Peter gave a passing greeting, distracting them as James attached a few spiders to the wall behind them.

All the people they passed knew them to some degree, and were well aware that they were most likely pulling another prank. To any of the younger students who didn’t, it was rather fairly explained. It was an oddly rewarding experience for the boys - notorious in the school, for pranks that were adored and despised.

Then they passed Regulus. Alone, reading quietly. James almost opened his mouth to say something, but Peter stopped him. In that moment, James could only stare at the young man, his face gaunt and drawn in, hair curly and falling into those dead black eyes, for a fleeting moment he was beautiful, until Peter was dragging him forwards. It meant that the others were near.

They concealed themselves behind a few carts, beginning to launch the spiders into the open door of the car. And as they did, they were able to overhear what the three were discussing. Although they couldn’t see in, a rich picture was painted with the disgusting scent of the room. Granted, as Animaguses, their sense of smell was heightened, but it was still… pungent.

“Did you see her?” Barty was asking.

“Only for a bit,” Severus answered.

“What?” Evan asked. “Why?”

“She took on extra work,” Severus answered. “Both at her job and for school.”

“I don’t get what you see in her,” Evan said idly. “She’s a mutt.”

“She’s not like the others,” Severus answered.

“Would you let her go if you needed to?” Barty demanded.

“Sure,” Severus answered. “But I don’t.”

“Think you can change her?” Barty asked.

“I do,” Severus answered.

“Good,” Evan said. “‘Cause the Black family knows of a group. Reggie told us.”

“I remember,” Severus said.

“We should join. They’re going to change the wizarding world,” Barty said. 

James and Peter let the conversation fade around them. They were running low on spiders, and wanted to save a few to prank Sirius. Besides, the conversation was getting hard to stomach. The two stood and walked away without concern of being caught - the boys inside had begun to shout in horror upon seeing their door covered in spiders, seeming to crawl right for them.

“Assholes,” James muttered to Peter.

“They really are,” said a voice, and it wasn’t Peter’s. But as he looked at where Regulus had been seated, it seemed like he hadn’t said a word.

--

Sirius had spent most of the time that he and Remus were alone, desperately trying, and failing to put his hair into two matching braids. He was trying to get it out of his face to be able to clean the new piercing, and he also needed something to do with his hands. Remus was almost finished with Twelfth Night , and he desperately wanted to finish it before they arrived. It was also a perfect distraction to catch glimpses of Sirius as he struggled.

After he let out another sigh of defeat, Sirius tied his hair back into a bun and turned to look at Remus. Thank god for the blanket over his lap, because the way Sirius looked at him drove him up the wall.

“Whot?” Remus demanded, without looking up.

“You could’ve offereed to help,” Sirius commented.

“I like seeing ya annoy’d,” Remus answered, carefully turning the page.

“Prick,” Sirius scoffed. “Vhy von’t you talk to me?”

“I like this book,” Remus answered.

“I zought eet vas a collection of plays,” Sirius said teasingly.

“Same thing,” Remus answered.

“Tell me about eet,” Sirius said.

“Do ya actu’lly care?” Remus asked, finally looking up at Sirius. The glint in those blue eyes told him what he already assumed, and he resumed his position on the page.

“Oh fine,” Sirius huffed. “I just vant to talk.”

“Ya nev’r minded silence b’fore,” Remus said. “What’s changed?”

“Life,” Sirius said with a sigh, leaning back in his seat, grabbing his wand as he did.

“Wanna tell me?” Remus asked. “I was gon’ ask why yer folks didn’t show…” He trailed off.

Sirius bit his lip as he thought. Remus desperately tried to figure out what he was pondering, while Sirius was desperately trying to parse out what was appropriate to say without dumping it all on. Their friendship was strong enough to handle it, it was just a lot to start for their first day back.

“Ya don’ have to say anythin’,” Remus broke into his thoughts. “But whatev’r’s on yer mind, I’m happy to help.”

“Promisee?” Sirius asked.

“Promsie,” Remus said, setting aside the book and offering his pinky.

Sirius set down his wand, and exchanged the promise as they shook pinkies. He picked it up again to distract himself as he spoke, trying to maneuver the cleaning spell as he did. “My muzzer… god ‘ow do I say zis?”

“Just say it,” Remus encouraged. 

“She tortures me,” Sirius said. “Breaks into my mind, uses Unforgivables on me. And eet vas at eet’s worse zis sommer.”

Remus’ dumbfounded silence put Sirius even more on edge. He dropped his wand in frustration, unable to properly perform the spell, and was too overwhelmed to think. He dropped his head in his hands, trying to will away tears.

Unbeknownst to him, Remus had grabbed his own wand, and shrugged off the blanket, as he scooted over to Sirius. He gingerly placed his hands on either side of Sirius’ face, and lifted it carefully to meet his. Without speaking, Remus began to help him clean the piercing, the spell a whisper on his lips. He watched Sirius’ face for any discomfort, pausing when he furrowed his brows in pain, and carefully wiped the tears that had formed in his eyes.

“Better?” Remus asked.

Sirius nodded, unable to speak.

“Listen,” Remus said. “Thank ya for trustin’ me with this. Yer one of ma bestest friends, and I hope ya know I’m always in yer corner. An’ I’m sorry that’s been happenin’ for so long, and that ya felt like ya couldn’t tell us.”

“I didn’t know ‘ow,” Sirius mumbled.

“It’s okay,” Remus said, watching Sirius’ face and recognizing how he closed his eyes and nose crinkled, as though he was about to cry again. He calmly wrapped Sirius in a hug, and the pair stayed like that for a moment, as Remus gently stroked his back while he let out the tears. 

As ashamed as Sirius was about crying, he couldn’t deny how relieving it was. He loved being held by Remus, like he was a warm blanket, absorbing all of the ache and sorrow of the summer. 

Sirius pulled away, and dried his eyes, laughing awkwardly to himself.

“Ah it’s funny now?” Remus asked.

“Your sweatair,” Sirius commented, pointing at where some of his eyeliner had smudged on his shoulder.

“Aw!” Remus feigned protest, even though he quickly removed it with a Charm.

Sirius giggled, regardless of Remus’ fake annoyance, and was unaware of what Remus was moving to do until his hands were in Sirius’ hair. He froze for a moment, before realizing what he was doing, as the bun came undone with his nimble movements.

“Moons,” Sirius began to say.

“Shut it,” Remus answered. “I don’ mind.”

“Okay,” Sirius relented, and relaxed into his touch. It would take a lot of focus to remain calm as Remus worked those gorgeous, scarred hands through his hair, and even more focus to remain quiet every time he pulled too harshly. Lucky for him, Remus seemed to take the stifled whimpers as noises of pain, nothing more.

“My last transformation was easier,” Remus was saying, as Sirius tried to focus on his words.

“Ees zat normal?” Sirius asked.

“‘Parently,” Remus said. “According to my dad.”

“‘Ow’s it make you feel?” Sirius asked.

“Odd,” Remus said, and when he shrugged he accidentally yanked on Sirius’ hair. He could’ve sworn the noise Sirius made sounded exactly like a dog’s whimper, but he chalked it up to pain. “Sorry.”

“All good,” Sirius mumbled.

“It’s weird,” Remus continued. “I know I’m gon’ be like this forev’r but…”

“Zometimes you don’t vant to?” Sirius filled in.

“Yeah,” Remus nodded. He leaned away from Sirius as he tied off the second braid. “You look lush.”

“Zank you,” Sirius said.

“Always,” Remus answered. “Can I return to my book?”

“No,” Sirius answered.

“Ach! Why?!” he demanded.

“‘Cause Lily ees going to opeen zis door in trois, deux…” And the cabin door rattled to reveal Lily, poking her head in with a radiant grin.

Her long ginger hair swung with her movement, and her green eyes sparkled as she inspected the cabin. Remus matched her smile, grinning at how her dimples shone when she smiled, and for a moment, Sirius hated how she could make him smile like that. Was that the jealousy James felt? He allowed himself to wonder.

“‘Ello,” she said, “can I take Remus?”

“‘E ees not my property,” Sirius joked.

She rolled her eyes, and extended her hand to Remus.

“I’ll be back soon,” he told Sirius, and took her hand as he allowed Lily to drag him back to her cabin.

--

James expected to find Sirius and Remus arguing when he opened the door, but instead found Sirius half asleep, covered in Remus’ blanket, alone in the cabin. He hushed Peter as the two snuck back inside, careful to shut the door quietly. They began to stick spiders all around Sirius’ head and on his face, having only a handful left.

When they were finished, the two resumed their normal seats, and Peter brought out a deck of cards for them to play with. As he was dealing out for the second round of James Bond, Sirius began to stir, waking up.

“AHH!” he shouted, leaping up at the sight of the spiders.

“WHAT?!” James shouted back.

“ARAIGNÉES!” he practically screeched. “ENLÈVEZ-LES! S'IL TE PLAÎT!”

“Can you understand him?” Peter murmured to James.

“Not a word,” James answered.

“OFF!” Sirius continued to shout, jumping around the car, while Peter and James doubled over in laughter at his horror.

Eventually, Sirius realized they were fake, and standing in the middle of the cabin with spiders stuck to his face and hair, he glared at his two friends. 

“Jesus, Pads!” Peter said between laughs.

“They’re so obviously fake!” James added, trying to catch his breath.

“Petits garçons idiots…” Sirius mumbled, trying to pull them off.

“Let me,” Peter said, having finally caught his breath, muttering the reversal spell and tapping the spiders with his wand.

“Get, zem OUT!” Sirius said, pointing at the pile in his hand.

“No, I think I’ll keep these for later,” James said, sliding them back into the bag as he did.

“Non…” Sirius grumbled his complaint, sitting back down.

“Who did your hair?” Peter asked.

“Rem,” Sirius answered. “‘Ad to clean ze piercing.”

“I can’t believe Walburga let you get that,” James said.

“I mean, she didn’t,” he said. 

“Knew it,” James muttered.

“Can I play?” Sirius asked, sliding over to the table, taking Remus’ window seat.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “Let’s play gin.”

“Oh you are going down ,” James threatened, eagerly swiping the deck from Peter, taking the first deal. Peter produced a pen and some parchment to keep track of their score - it would be the first game of the year on their journey to 100,000 points. 

--

“Wotcher,” Remus warned, as Lily ducked underneath someone removing their luggage. He stepped out of the way and followed Lily into the cabin, which was empty without the other girls.

“Thanks,” she said. “The girls are out gettin’ food.”

“I see,” Remus nodded. “How’re ya doin’?”

“Just wonderful!” she said, smiling at him as she squeezed his hand across the table they were seated at. “Would you like to play a game?” she asked as she produced a deck of cards.

“Speed?” he asked.

“Of course,” she answered, beginning to split the deck as she dealt. “So tell me, how was the last transformation?”

“Al’right,” Remus answered. “It was far easier, as they’ve all been gettin’. Well, relativ’ly so.”

“I believe that’s in line with my knowledge of werewolves,” Lily mused. She passed him his half of the deck, and began to set up her hand.

Remus took the cards, doing the same, as he said, “My ma ‘nd I talked ‘bout it.”

“Oh, how was that?” she asked.

“Lush,” Remus answered. “She always gives good advice.”

“What abouts?” Lily caught on to what he was hinting at rather quickly. Remus adored talking with her for that reason, she was always so smart and in-tune with what was going on around her. 

The same could not be said about their game, however, while Remus was speeding through his hand, Lily was completely stuck, having run out of cards to play a few seconds ago. She glared at him, but couldn’t do anything while they were still on this round.

“Life, politics, the usual,” Remus said. “I heard from James you wrote him a letter.”

“Don’t remind me,” she said, but the blush on her cheeks betrayed her.

“Why won’t ya let him off the hook?” Remus asked.

“His ego is too huge,” Lily said. “He needs to learn to be a normal human first.”

“Fair enough,” Remus said.

“Don’t change the topic on me,” she warned. They both flipped up a new card to reset the round, and Lily leapt out first, blocking Remus’ move.

“Yer too good,” Remus grumbled.

“At the game, or at knowing you?” she taunted.

Remus rolled his eyes, but knew he was avoiding what he inevitably needed to do. He just had to rip the band-aid off and tell her, but it was terrifying. But if Peter had the bravery to come out to them, then Remus should too.

“Okay,” he started to say. “I don’ wan’ you to think of me any differently. An’ I hope it don’t affect our friendship.”

“Remus,” she warned. “Just spit it out.”

“I’m bisexual,” he rushed out, setting down his last card over her’s. 

Lily, however, had a few more left to play, and carried on doing so without faltering. She continued to play the round silently, until she was out of cards, and then stopped and looked up at Remus, before moving to set up the next round.

“Why would that change our friendship?” she asked. “I don’t mind you being a werewolf. I don’t mind you being bisexual. Now if you were gonna say that you’re joinin’ up and wearing peuce…”

“Oh god no,” Remus answered, matching the laughter that left her throat at his protest. “Yer really al’right with it?”

“Of course,” she said. “Now I have twice the amount of people to set you up with!”

“No!” Remus groaned, remembering that wasn’t all that he had to tell her. He let his head drop on the table for a moment, groaning in annoyance.

“Oh relax,” she said. “I already kind of knew.”

“Knew whot?” he asked, without looking up.

“Remus, you're going to mess up our game,” she warned.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, sitting up once again. They both flipped up a new card, and began the next round of play.

“I think I already know what you’re going to say next,” Lily explained. “I mean, we all see how you look at him, and how you get when you talk about him… I’m surprised it took you this long to say anything.”

Remus glared at her, blocking her next two moves as he demanded, “Who?”

“Sirius,” she answered, unable to play anymore, and set her cards back down.

“No…” Remus said, letting out a frustrated sigh. “That means he probably knows.”

“So?” Lily asked.

“So!? He’s my best friend!” Remus exclaimed. “He’ll hate me.”

“Oh please,” Lily said. “I highly doubt that. I think he likes you too.”

“As a friend, Lily,” Remus reminded her.

“You never know…” she said, with a teasing grin. Remus sighed in complaint, as he finished off the last of his turn. He let their discussion turn into more advice as they continued to play, knowing once the rest of the girls got back he would have to return to his friends.

But until then, he and Lily could live in the little delusion that there was a chance, a small chance, Sirius might like him back.

--

Having told Remus half of the truth about how horrid that summer was, telling Peter and James wasn’t too hard. He revealed over the second round of gin, and they were as supportive as Remus was. James was ready to have Sirius move in, but he wanted to give it time so that he could protect Regulus. The looming threat of the growing popularity of the Death Eaters was not lost on Sirius, and how close they were to forcing Regulus to join.

But the final part, that he had to reveal, was eating him up inside. Andromeda knew, and she was off at Beauxbatons and couldn’t give him any help. Given how they reacted to Peter’s news, he felt safe in coming out, but it was still terrifying. They might never treat him the same again.

That was, until James was talking about the wedding.

“And Ayla told me my Auntie Tee is gay!” James exclaimed. “I don’t know how I didn’t know. She and her girlfriend have lived together for the last twenty years.”

“And you assumed they were just best friends?” Peter demanded.

“Yes!” James said. “You know I have a horrible gaydar.”

“Clearly,” Peter said, laughing to himself.

“You know,” Sirius said, praying this horrid segue would detract from what he was about to say, “I ‘ave a bit more proof to zis… awful gaydar the-ory.”

“Aw no way!” James said, throwing his hand on the table. “You’re kidding.”

“Part of the reason my muzzer was so mad…” Sirius started to say.

“Oh thank god I’m not the only one,” Peter said, throwing an arm around Sirius. “I knew you were gay!”

“Would you let him say it?” James demanded.

“I am gay,” Sirius said, nodding his agreement.

James groaned, putting his face in his hands as he mumbled, “I am the world’s most oblivious man…”

“What James means to say, is we love and accept you,” Peter said, echoing the sentiment from earlier.

“Thanks,” Sirius said, grinning at Peter. 

“Yeah all that,” James said, quickly shaking off his misery as he grinned at Sirius. “I know you like someone…”

“I do not!” Sirius immediately snapped back, setting Peter and James’ suspicion off.

“We’ll figure it out,” James said. “Okay, Peter and Remus will figure it out and tell me.”

“Remus doesn’t know,” Sirius said. “Yet.”

“You didn’t tell him when we were… preoccupied?” James asked.

“Nope,” Sirius said, “remember? Lily interrupted our conversation.”

“Oh yeah,” James said, nodding. “I will force information out of him so help me god…”

“Lay off,” Peter said. “They’re friends.”

“What if I want that?” James said.

“Don’t be such an id-e-ot then,” Sirius offered.

“You both suck,” James said, huffing. 

“You know it,” Sirius said with a wink, and Peter doubled over in laughter, while James just glared at how easily Sirius had overturned the insult. 

They continued to play gin, keeping track of their score as they did, before slowly becoming bored, just as Remus returned. Before they really had a chance to talk, the train was pulling up, and it was time for them to get off the train, and begin yet another year at Hogwarts.

Chapter Text

That, stupid, beautiful, gorgeous smile, whenever Sirius flashed it at Remus, he became weak in the knees. Which was not helpful, considering he was struggling to keep his suitcase afloat, as he still couldn’t fully extend his shoulder. Which is perhaps why he was so surprised, when Sirius walked over and helped him levitate the trunk into the room. It definitely wasn’t because Sirius had undone the braids that Remus had given him, and tied his hair up into a bun so that he could focus more easily on packing.

It was definitely the surprise that Sirius could actually be helpful, that was making him weak in the knees and speechless in that moment.

“Oi!” James shouted.

“Whot?” Remus snapped back into attention, looking at him.

“You were staring at the wall,” James explained.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “‘M tir’d.”

“Dinner vas so good,” Sirius agreed, as he returned to his bed, plastering up a few photos and posters he’d swiped from his room.

“Was,” James commented idly. Their work of fixing his accent began once again.

“Was,” Sirius said, annunciating slowly. “You could jus’ learn to unzerstand me.”

“Ya could speak Eng-lash,” Remus offered.

“Okay you cannot talk,” James cut in.

“Literally,” Peter added, snorting.

“You arr all just jealoos,” Sirius scoffed, waving a hand.

“Seriouslay!” Remus said. 

“Him-ly,” James said.

“Ya all suck,” he said, but laughed with them as he threw himself down on his bed, grunting in pain at the pressure on his shoulder. 

As he went about setting up his bed, unpacking some of his books, and reorganizing his clothes into some drawers, he noticed Peter and James were mysteriously quiet. James’ was the farthest, Peter next to James, and Remus was in between James and Sirius. They had finished moving in for the most part, just a few clothes left to unpack, but there was something… fishy going on.

And then Remus saw it. The bag of spiders that they had plastered all over the train, there was clearly still a handful left. Carefully, the two were trading off roles of pretending to unpack, and levitating the spiders into Sirius’ pillow. He was completely unaware, as he was setting up his nightstand: a pack of cigarettes, the teacup Remus gave him in their second year, a small notebook and pencil, and a dish for all of his jewelry. 

Peter noticed, and gave Remus a look, saying, Don’t say a word.

To which Remus answered, You’re going to break our eardrums.

Worth it, Peter shrugged. Remus relented, and went back to unpacking his things.

He was looking through the trunk, trying to find where it was. Remus’ search, however, was interrupted by a sharp, shrill screech that probably woke up the entire dorm. James buried his face in his pillow to stop the laughter, while Peter fell off of his bed from giggling so hard. 

Sirius, however, was red in the face, his eyes darting from pure terror to genuine rage, as the spiders were still stuck in his hair and on his face. And the way he looked at Remus was so pitiful, desperate, as he murmured, “S'il vous plaît, enlevez-les.”

“Ya know I can’t undr’stand ya,” Remus said, walking over. He sat across Sirius on his bed, and gently wiped the spiders, off, concealing them in his palm.

“Zank you,” Sirius whispered, desperately trying to conceal his true horror. Remus could only assume he was so jumpy due to what Sirius had told him on the train.

“Ya should tell ‘em,” Remus whispered, and he knew Sirius was the only one that heard it, because James and Peter were still laughing on the floor.

Remus stepped over them as he walked into the bathroom, quietly whispering a Charm to turn the spiders into mush, and throwing them in the garbage. When he walked back into the room, James and Peter had apologized, realizing that they had genuinely terrified Sirius. 

“Eet’s okay,” Sirius said, smiling a bit shakily. “Pleaze, zon’t treat me any different.”

“We won’t,” James said, offering him a grin. 

“Remus, what the hell is that?” Peter asked, having walked over to poke through Remus’ trunk.

“Oi, seriously?” Remus demanded, feigning annoyance.

“C’mon, like I’m not gonna snoop,” he said.

Remus yanked the item out: it was a portable television set, the wire having been magically modified. He had figured out how to get it to operate on battery-power alone, and set it up on the mantle above the fireplace. With a few adjustments, a bit of calibration on the remote, it was perfectly ready to go.

“Is he gonna explain?” James asked not so quietly.

“Does ‘e ever?” Sirius answered.

“I can hear ya,” Remus said, glaring at them.

“I can’t believe you got one,” Peter said to Remus. “Aren’t they super expensive?”

“They are,” Remus said, “my ma found ‘un left for donation outside her school. It did’t cost too much to fix it up.”

“Will someone explain what the hell this is?” James demanded.

“Arr we going zo die?” Sirius asked.

“Yes,” Peter and Remus answered at the same time.

The two walked over to where they were seated on the floor, Remus sitting next to Sirius, Peter next to James, and Remus flicked it on. It sprung to life, and began to play a scene from The Fosters , in which Benjamin was trying to talk his father, Samuel, into going to the doctor about his hypertension. James and Sirius stared in fascination at the little box, as the music blared out of the speaker. Peter gave Remus a look, and they both giggled, at how easily fascinated the two were with the technology, like they were young children seeing it for the first time.

“What the fresh hell…” James asked.

“Zis makes no sense,” Sirius said. “Zey arr not inzide ze box, non?”

“No!” Peter half-shouted, while Remus doubled over with laughter. “It’s… it’s a broadcast basically.”

“That makes. No sense,” James said.

“Just say it’s magic,” Remus managed to get out between laughs. “Christ! People in the box!”

“Shove it,” Sirius said, smacking Remus with a pillow.

“Hey, nice work!” James said, which earned him a smack from Sirius as well.

“What eef I like my azzent?” Sirius posed.

“You definitely do not,” James said.

“Yeah,” Sirius relented, before smacking him with the pillow again.

James looked over at Peter and Remus, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Peter said.

“Get him!” Remus shouted, sprinting to stand, and snatch a pillow off of Sirius’ bed. 

Peter dove for Sirius, grabbing him by the ankles and dragging him down, while he writhed around, trying to kick his way free. Remus threw James a pillow, while Sirius freed himself from Peter, before whaling on him with the pillow.

James tackled Peter and rolled him to the side, while he smacked Sirius with the pillow, and before long, the four were tied up in the chaos of fighting each other with pillows as violently as they could. They would break into factions, betray alliances, spread the fight all across the dorms and into the Common Room if necessary. More than anything, they were simply excited to be back together, being able to do whatever they wanted once again.

--

The scent of the cigarette smoke mixed with the blooming roses that Delilah had set on the windowsill as the four girls sat on the floor of their room. They were pouring over their photographs and posters, deciding which to hang and where as they discussed their respective summers. 

“So,” Mary said, flicking the ash from the butt of the cigarette, “all of that work, for what, again?”

“Please! It puts me ahead in the class, and gives me an advantage with the Professor,” Lily explained. “I want her to write my recommendation.”

“She has a point,” Delilah cut in, from where she was laying down, using her hands to visualize which picture would fit in place on her wall.

“Did you do anything fun?” Mary pressed. “Actually fun. Not school fun.”

“Of course!” Lily protested. “I got to see my friends, I got to hang out with Petunia, I got to see Severus-”

“UGH!” Mary threw up her hands in protest. “How do you tolerate him?”

“He smells like mildew,” Marlene quipped, looking up from her book.

“Oh come on,” Lily said. “He’s learning.”

“He is?” Mary asked. “I mean, c’mon. If you’re not around, he’s the worst!”

“Shouldn’t we try to stop them from becoming Death Eaters?” Lily asked.

“It’s not your job,” Marlene said.

“Besides,” Delilah cut in. “He wouldn’t do the same for you. He’s obsessed with the idea of you, not actually you.”

“Okay, I am very subtly and smoothly changing the topic,” Lily announced. “Mary, what happened with the restaurant job?”

“Oh, tortured a few teenagers, learned to cook crepes, the usual,” she said, taking the change of topic in stride. The girls could tell when Lily didn’t want to be prodded on a subject any further.

“You can cook crepes?” Delilah asked, sitting up. “Can we have some?”

“Dels, it’s eleven at night!” Mary said.

“So?” Marlene asked, setting the book down.

She glanced around the group, a wicked grin crawling over her face. “Alright.” The four giggled as they stood, trying to remain calm, as they slipped on their shoes and wrapped themselves up in a few more layers.

One by one, they snuck out of the room, checking that the coast was clear, and continuing to make their way down into the kitchens. Mary and Marlene had found the secret entrance awhile back, and while the house-elves were always working there, she had bribed them into allowing them to come in and cook once in-awhile.

They remained quiet, helping Mary mix the batter, set up the area, and plate the crepes when they were ready. Bidding the elves a thank you, the girls snuck back out, and up into the Astronomy Tower, locking the door behind them. 

Delilah pulled out a few of her hand-rolled joints, offering it to the group who were more than happy to partake. Lily offered her a light with her wand, moving carefully so as to not surprise her when it fully lit. She took the first few drags, before passing it off to Lily, while Mary cut up the crepes and divided them amongst the four.

“Where’d you get this?” Lily asked, as she passed the joint to Marlene.

“Made it,” she said with a grin. 

“What?!” Mary demanded, her eyes widening.

“That rose bush is not a rose bush,” she said, grinning. “Hope y’all don’t mind.”

“Are you kidding?!” Mary exclaimed. “This is awesome!”

“How’d you conceal the scent?” Lily asked. “The rose is so strong.”

“Perfume,” she answered with a shrug.

Marlene grinned, as she took the first bite of the crepes. She opened her mouth a bit in surprise, before shoveling the food rapidly into her mouth.

“Jesus, Lene,” Lily said.

“Eat,” Marlene said between bites. The other two took her cue, and immediately began repeating the same pattern as before.

“They’re not that good!” Mary protested.

“These are… they’re lush!” Lily said.

“Ayy, who’s this Welsh girl!” Marlene teased, poking her with her foot.

“Oh please,” Lily said, rolling her eyes.

“Poor Remus,” Marlene commented idly. “Wales was hit the worst this summer.”

“Oh god,” Delilah said. “I heard it was brutal out there.”

“I don’t believe he lives near the mines,” Lily commented idly. She picked up the joint from where Marlene had dropped it on the ground to keep eating.

Mary took it from her, taking a long drag before saying, “World’s goin’ to shit.”

“Morbid,” Delilah said.

“Accurate,” Marlene responded. “Wizarding world, Muggle world. We’re all screwed.”

“We should do something,” Lily said. “Something real.”

“Like… a club?” Mary asked. “Seems… ineffective.”

“I don’t really know what to do yet,” Lily said. “But there are a lot of people here who are hurt by the rising threat of the Death Eaters. Shouldn’t we try to prevent our classmates from joining them?”

“But how can we do that?” Delilah asked.

“And why is it our job?” Mary added.

“It’s not,” Lily agreed. “But we can’t do nothing.”

Marlene stood up, snatching the joint from Delilah, and taking a long drag before saying, “She’s right. We should do something. I have no idea what though.”

Delilah pondered, before saying, “Yanno, the only people who actually know how to get people at this school to pay attention is-”

“Don’t you dare,” Lily cut in.

Mary asked, “I mean… is she wrong?”

--

By this point, the war was almost over. Remus and Peter had long waved white flags (t-shirts), Remus was now enjoying a cup of cocoa, while Peter was having a cigarette, as James and Sirius continued the war. Sirius was tucked behind his bed, a make-shift fort set up, as he pretended to draw battle strategies in his notebook. James was on the other side of the room, stuffing a pillow with extra feathers by a Charm, and plotting his next attack. 

“I’ll take that action,” Remus whispered to Peter, who extended a hand and they shook lightly on it, before returning their attention to the battlefield.

“It’s been five long days,” James began to monologue, “since I’ve known peace. And this land, sullied by your misdeeds… it makes me sick. How long must you wait, to right these war-torn peoples. How long must you wait to make a final stand?”

Sirius shot Remus and Peter a smirk, before putting his pillow in his mouth, and transforming into Padfoot. Normally, he would shake himself out to readjust, but he had to be silent if he wanted to get the jump on James.

“Come and face me, coward!” James shouted, jumping up onto the bed, beginning to leap across them over to where he thought Sirius was hiding. “I’ll have my revenge-” he cut off his sentence, slamming the pillow down onto where Sirius was hiding, and then froze.

While he was expecting a barrage of insults mixed in French and English, instead he found it completely empty. Bewildered, he looked to Peter and Remus for answers, but they shrugged and gave nothing away to him.

A sharp bark cut through the room, as Sirius went, full-speed at James, tackling him and whacking him with the pillow as Padfoot. He rolled off, and shifted back, before pinning James once more and smacking him with the pillow for good measure.

Peter sighed, and smacked a few coins into Remus’ hand, before sliding off the windowsill and making his way over to his bed, to reset it after the infighting. 

“That does not count,” James huffed from where he was on the ground. “I was defeated by Padfoot not Sirius.”

“Zo, you arr zaying you lost to a dog ?” Sirius teased.

“Dude,” Peter said, shaking his head. “That’s so much worse.”

“Prats,” James protested. “The lot of you!” He walked over, grabbing his mug from his beside, and poured himself a cup of cocoa from the table where the pot rested. Defeated, he flopped onto the chair, taking a long drink like it was a draft of beer.

Sirius and Peter went about putting the room back together for the most part, returning the pillows to their respective beds, and tidying up the sheets and blankets from the floor. James, commiserating with Remus over his loss, demanded Sirius make his bed in return for getting the jump on him, while Remus pointed out since he was the loser, he should have the punishment. The argument was cut short rather quickly, by Peter threatening to Charm both their mouths shut - which he could easily do.

Remus was pondering when was the exact correct time to inform them the last piece of news that he was holding back. Lucky for him, Sirius took the lead, when the four of them sat on the floor once more, sharing cocoa and cigarettes. He was breathing deeply, trying to find the strength to say it, while Peter and James seemed to already know what was going on.

“Al’right,” Remus finally said. “What’re ya lot hidin’ from me.”

James and Peter exchanged a glance, but said nothing as they looked to Sirius.

“You arr not makeng zis easier,” Sirius groaned, putting his face in his hands.

“Give him a cigarette,” James told Peter, who plucked one out of his box, and set it between Sirius’ extended fingers. 

He lit it for Sirius, who took five long drags, before finally saying, “Okay.”

Remus was silent as he examined Sirius’ face.

“I’m gay,” he said, refusing to make eye contact with Remus, staring at the floor as he continued to smoke.

Unbeknownst to the other three, Remus’ heart was in his throat, pounding aggressively at the revelation. In the back of his mind, for a silent, hopeful moment, he allowed himself to think, I have a chance.

“Hello?” James asked, waving a hand in front of Remus’ face. “You good man?”

“Yeah!” Remus exclaimed, snapping back to attention. “Yeah, Sirius, you know we don’ mind that, right? ’S like what I told Peter. Don’ change how I feel ‘bout ya.” Even though, it really, really did.

“Promise?” Sirius asked.

“Promise,” Remus repeated, offering him a small smile as he looked up. Those gorgeous, deep slate-grey eyes that glittered with hope, and something that Remus couldn’t quite properly place, but made his insides turn to mush.

“Oi, Rem,” James whispered. “We’re gonna be outnumbered.”

“Jamie, I think yer gon’ be outnumbr’d,” Remus informed him.

“OH COME ON!” James shouted, throwing his head in his hands as he muttered, “ I have the world’s worst gaydar. ”

“Huh?” Remus asked, looking at the other two.

“Sirius came out to us when you were with Lily on the train,” Peter explained. “And… well. You explain yourself.”

Fucking hell. Sirius could do it, Peter could too, why was it so hard to say out loud? All he wanted was for his friends to understand, to completely get it, without him having to say a word. Which was impossible. 

“Don’t say anything you don’t want to,” Peter said, trying to make Remus feel assured.

“No.” Remus shook his head. “It’s okay. ’S been on my mind for a’while now.” The way Sirius looked up, like his ears were perked and he was at attention made his gut tense and nervous. So Remus closed his eyes, and forced himself to say, “I’m bi.”

“Bi?” James asked.

“I like men and women,” Remus explained.

“Don’ change how I feel ‘bout ya,” Peter said, teasing Remus as he mocked his accent.

“Sod off,” Remus said, but the way his friends grinned at him made him immediately relaxed. Nothing actually had to change between them. They were just able to be a bit more themselves with each other.

And they continued to talk throughout the night, but Remus found it harder and harder to concentrate. It was finally real, he finally said it out loud, and what’s worse, is that Sirius could feel the same. Even if he didn't, even if there was no way, some small part of him was finally allowed to be hopeful. To be excited. To entertain the idea that maybe, just maybe, Sirius could be his.

--

“You up?” the voice was barely a whisper. It was four in the morning, and Remus grumbled to himself, blinking trying to process what was happening. He looked through the curtains on his bed, to find Sirius’ head poking through, staring intently at him. Shirtless. 

“Yeah?” Remus asked, his voice cracking as he slowly sat up, pulling at his t-shirt.

“Can we talk?” Sirius asked, and Remus nodded. He closed the curtain behind him as he crawled onto Remus’ bed, sitting, legs crossed, on the other side from him, as Remus slowly woke himself up, trying to process what was happening.

Sirius’ hair was messed up, the curls sticking out. He was in nothing but his black boxers, and a pair of black socks (seriously, how did he not freeze whenever he slept?), and was absently biting the inside of his cheek, nervous. He refused to make eye contact with Remus.

“You alright?” Remus asked.

“I diden’t tell you ze full truth,” Sirius murmured.

“What?” Remus asked.

“About zis summer,” Sirius explained, his accent fading in and out as he did. If only he let it come to the surface all the time, it was beautiful.

“What’d’ya mean?” At this point, Remus’ stomach was a pit of nerves.

“My muzzers torture was at eets worst when she found out… about… my sexuality,” Sirius said, staring at his palms as he picked at his finger. “I never ‘ad a real memory of sayeng eet out loud, zo she diden’t know. But after ze ball, she found out about vat Andie and I discussed.” He paused, staring intently at Remus. “She made eet hell.”

“Siri,” Remus whispered softly, sitting up to pull him into a hug, which Sirius didn’t reject. For a moment, he allowed Remus to surround him, trying his hardest not to break down, to finish what he was trying to say. But as Remus gently traced his back with his palm, he let a small sob break free, before he clung onto Remus’ shirt, burying his head in Remus’ neck.

“‘M sorry,” Sirius mumbled between sobs.

“Don’ be,” Remus said, squeezing him. “We’re friends.”

Sirius nodded, sniffing, as he pulled back, to stare at Remus. “She’s goeng zo know now. But I ‘ave to keep Reggie safe.”

“Ya need to stay safe too,” Remus said. “Don’ forget that, please.”

“I won’t,” Sirius said. “Zank you, Remus. I love you.”

Remus froze, before processing what Sirius meant it as. Friends. “I love you too.” 

“Zat’s why she tortured me even werse zis summer,” Sirius explained. “Why I wanted to tell ‘ou.”

“I’m glad ya told us,” Remus said.

“You,” Sirius repeated.

Remus had no idea what to say, so he said nothing. And Sirius was pulling him in for a hug, which he immediately accepted, trying to convey everything bottled up inside of him into that one, short embrace. And before he realized it, Sirius was gone, probably back in his bed, and he was alone, heart pounding, staring at the canopy of his bed. 

He put his palms over his eyes, grumbling to himself. This year was going to be the death of him, one way or another, Sirius was going to find out. Little did he know, just next to him in bed, Sirius was having the exact same crisis. 

Chapter Text

It was going to drive Sirius insane, the way James always bounced his knee and bit at his fingernails whenever they had a game. Sirius knew that he would have to snap James out of it, and get him to give the team a speech before the game. For some reason, it seemed as though James was enveloped in more thought than usual.

James was wrestling with trying to decide what to tell Sirius, mind you, right before their first game of the season. Regulus had caught him as they were going into the locker rooms, and all he had said was, “We need to talk after the game,” and nothing else. Which was quite helpful information to have, and he couldn’t tell if Regulus was just trying to throw him off his own game. They’d only been back two weeks… 

“Earth to James!” Sirius shouted.

“Sorry,” he said, snapping back to attention.

“Speak to your troops, eh?” Sirius said, gesturing to the team.

“Right, right,” James nodded, standing and walking past Sirius.

But Sirius grabbed his arm, yanking him back. “Are you good?”

“‘M fine,” James said, wrestling free of his grip. I guess I made my choice. He shook off the thought, and gathered the team around him.

In the stands, Remus and Peter were with Lily, Delilah, and Mary, behind them was Arthur, Anthony, and Molly. They were talking excitedly about the game, placing bets on how quickly the Snitch would get caught, how many times Sirius would get yelled at for swearing in French, and most importantly, how many times James would flex to the crowd, winking at Lily.

The idle chatter was rather welcomed by Remus, who was desperately trying to distract himself from what he knew was coming. Ever since last year, seeing Sirius play Quidditch drove him up the wall. And worst of it all, it was only three days before the full moon. If any time was horrid to be hormonal, it was right now.

“Rem, you okay?” Lily asked, nudging him.

“Fine,” he said.

“You look ill,” she said.

“Must be getting a cold,” he said, with a pointed look, and she took the hint about the moon and let it go. Thankfully that was cover enough.

“Oi!” Peter shouted, directing their attention to the pitch. “It’s starting.”

The group turned their attention to the pitch, as McCoy announced the players coming out. His running commentary was not only the height of entertainment for them, but it would be his last year as announcer. Rumor had it that he was angling for Peter to take over for him. So long as McGonagall allowed it.

As they started to play, Remus found himself wrapped up in watching Sirius once again. He flew with little regard for his life, constantly swinging around his broom, launching bludgers as aggressively as he could (getting in trouble for it once or twice). The way the wind blew his gorgeous hair, the eye-black smeared across his cheeks with the dew and sweat of the morning, and for a moment, as he flew past, Remus could’ve sworn that Sirius winked at him.

Before they knew it, Marlene was shouting with victory, clutching the glittering Snitch in her hand. She was barreling towards the ground at full speed, and although she crashed, she was grinning, having successfully caught the snitch. 

The Gryffindor stands were an eruption of cheers, as the team flew over to celebrate. Sirius leapt off his broom and into the stands, where he wrapped Remus in a bear hug.

“Told you I could do it,” he whispered in Remus’ ear, and before Remus could process anything, Sirius was off once again, flying a victory lap around the stadium.

At the same time, James flew over and tried to get Lily’s attention, which to his surprise she gave. He blew her a kiss, and then chased after Sirius, the two of them laughing as they went. Lily and Remus exchanged different looks of surprise and disgust, before breaking into laughter themselves. The joy in the stands was palpable, as they made their way back to the dorms, to properly celebrate their win.

--

James found Regulus pacing back and forth outside the locker room, long after everyone had returned to their dorms. He had changed back into his regular clothes, a pair of jeans and a green sweater, and he had slicked his hair back, the curls sticking out slightly around his forehead. For a moment, with the sunken-in cheeks, the dead look in his eyes, James could’ve sworn he was a haunting kind of beautiful.

And then he snapped back to attention. Regulus was a man, he wasn’t beautiful. And he was Sirius’ little brother. 

“Anyone else in zere?” Regulus asked. The same stupid French accent. Why is it beautiful when he speaks with it?

“Nope,” James said. “What do you want?”

“I zon’t want to be seen ‘ere any more zan you don’t want to talk,” Regulus snapped, before taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I ‘ave just been on edge.”

“Why can’t you just talk to Sirius?” James asked.

“Really?” Regulus demanded, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Our ‘ouse ees a nightmare. Besides. Sirius ‘as friends zat aren’t linked to ze Deatheaters. I zo not. I just need you zo zell ‘im zomezing for me.”

James was silent, waiting for him to elaborate, as his eyes raked over him, trying to figure out what he was saying, what he was thinking. He looked so small, so broken, from how he normally was. The Black Family pride was wearing thin on him, and for a moment, he was allowing himself to snap. In front of James, of all people.

“Look. Just tell ‘im… zat I don’t need ‘im zo protect me. Eet won’t be zafe for ‘im at ‘ome. I can ‘andle myself,” Regulus said. “Promeese me.”

“Okay,” James said, extending his hand. “I promise.”

“Oh,” Regulus said. “One more zing. Tell ‘im I azzept him.”

“I will,” James said, and Regulus took his hand. It felt like electricity ran through him at the touch, and the breath left his throat as he looked up and realized that Regulus had gone.

Left wondering what on earth to say to Sirius, he decided to leave it for later. Tonight, they deserved to celebrate their win. 

--

Most of the students were returning to either commiserate or celebrate in the dorms. James had told Sirius to leave without him, so it was only Remus, Sirius, and Peter walking back to the Common Room. They were taking a slightly longer way - at Sirius’ request - in order to avoid being mobbed by other students.

Instead, they found themselves stumbling onto a rather familiar scene: Barty, Evan, and Severus, taking out some rage on a few Hufflepuff first years. It seemed that Evan was holding two of the kids back, while Severus and Barty were taking turns hurling hexes at the students, mixed with a barrage of slurs and insults.

Remus looked down at Sirius, whose jaw was set and rigid, his happy expression (which was rather rare these days) fading rapidly. Beside him, Peter was visibly fuming, his fists clenched, the ghost of a snarl on his lips as he stepped a bit closer. Knowing exactly what they were about to get into, Remus drew his wand as well.

“I never took you for this kind of prat,” Peter interrupted the boys, who snapped their heads to glare at the scene before them.

“It’s the queers,” Barty said, without looking over at them. Remus heard Sirius curse under his breath: running in the same Pureblood circles clearly meant that rumors spread fast about Sirius. 

“Shut your mouth,” Sirius snapped, launching a hex square at Barty’s face.

Barty however dodged, and immediately focused his attention away from the first years. Remus took that opportunity to bind Evan’s hands behind his back, releasing his grip on the kids, who immediately sprinted away from the fighting.

Severus then undid the binds for Evan, before launching a hex at Remus, who deftly blocked it. The six were locked in awkward combat, dodging around and undoing different hexes and curses placed on the others.

Eventually, they’d be interrupted by a Professor and handed out various degrees of detention, but it didn’t matter in that moment. Remus could see the pure rage and hatred radiating from his friends, and while all he wanted to do was grab them and run, to keep them safe, he knew they’d never go for it.

Sirius launched a rather successful hex right in Severus’ face, grinning gleefully to himself as Severus tried to wipe the grease from his eyes. 

They were rather quickly interrupted however, as James was sprinting up behind them, most likely having used the map to figure out where they were. Almost simultaneously, Regulus appeared from the opposite end of the hallway, and there was a moment of silent confusion as the four processed what was happening with the other four.

“The fuck were you?” Barty snapped.

“Keepeng McGonagall off your arse,” Regulus returned.

“Reg,” Sirius said, “don’t.”

Evan snickered, before saying, “C’mon. As if your brother is anything like you.”

“He’s not some mutt humper like you,” Barty added.

Regulus was silent, his eyes darting from the floor, to Sirius, and back to his friends, as though he was desperately trying to make some rapid sort of decision. 

“Please.” The word was a ghost on Sirius’ lips, barely audible to anyone but Remus, who was standing next to him.

“Shut it,” Regulus snarled, gripping his wand. Clearly, his decision had been made. “Like I’d ever align myself with a fag like you.”

Without properly thinking, Remus had immediately launched a curse, binding Regulus’ mouth shut. His movements were deft and swift, launching attacks on all four of them, restraining them or incapacitating them in some way, while his three friends stared at each other, rather dumb-founded, unable to process what was happening.

What had been such an exciting day had turned sour so fast, and before they knew it, Remus was rather efficiently putting an end to it. When all four were immobile, Remus spat at them, turning swiftly on his heel, and beckoning the others away with him.

James stole one last look at the boys on the ground, and felt guilt bloom within his chest as he saw Regulus’ eyes. They were completely broken, rather pathetic and devastated, but there was a hidden resolve behind them. It was easy to see that Regulus had made the choice to not try and get out. The violence committed by their parents made him the perfect martyr, and he seemed to have accepted it.

So James willed the image out of his mind, and ran after his friends, knowing that Sirius needed him right then, more than anything.

The four were outside in a courtyard, overlooking the rolling green hills, staring down at the lake. Peter had an arm around Sirius, while Remus stood awkwardly behind where the two were sitting, not quite sure what he should be doing.

James sat down next to Sirius, fishing a pack of smokes out of Sirius’ pocket. Remus sat in front of them, lighting it and offering the burning cigarette out to Sirius, who still refused to look up. They could hear his soft sniffles rather easily, but not one of them knew how to tell him it was okay. That he could cry.

Until James spoke first. “Siri, if you need to cry, don’t stop yourself. We won’t judge you, and we won’t leave you either.”

Sirius shook his head, still refusing to look up.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Peter repeated. “And… I’m sorry.”

“He didn’t mean it,” Remus said, still holding out the cigarette.

“He did,” Sirius finally spoke, looking up and snatching the cigarette as he did. Tears were still flowing freely, streaking the eye-black down his cheeks and neck. He took a few drags, trying to even out his breathing, but it was to no avail.

“No,” James said. “He didn’t.”

“You can’t possibly know zat,” Sirius said, misery dripping from his words.

“He told me,” James said. He wasn’t exactly planning to reveal what they had discussed, but given the sour mood that had enveloped their day, it couldn’t get much worse. “He asked to talk to me after the game.

“And he said that he wants you to know, he doesn’t need you to protect him at home. It won’t be safe for you there, and he can handle himself,” James paused, uncertain of how to deliver the last part. Sirius had stopped crying as he listened for the most part, but the last piece of information would certainly destroy him. “He also said… to tell you that he accepts you.”

The words hit Sirius like a freight train, and he immediately let out a cracked sob, hiding his face once again. Unable to do anything else, James wrapped him in a bear hug, Peter piling on, Remus afterwards. The three could feel his pain, knowing that he couldn’t save his brother, and that each was still trying to keep the other safe, the only way they knew how.

They weren’t sure how long they were there, letting Sirius cry as the smoke from the cigarette filled the air around them as he continued to sob. What brought them out of it, was the echo of footsteps walking out of the corridor and down to where they were seated.

“Hey!” the voice came, cheerful, clearly unaware of what was happening. “You weren’t in the Common Room, so I figured you’d be out here for a smoke. I wanted to give you…” the sniffles broke through the words. “Congrats. Er… are you okay?”

James looked up first, eyes bugging out as he realized it was Lily. The four broke their hug, standing and awkwardly wiping their hands from the grass, as Sirius dropped and put out the cigarette. 

“Shit,” Lily murmured. “Sorry for interrupting.”

The three looked at Sirius to answer. All he said was, “‘S okay. Thanks.”

“What… happened?” she asked.

Remus shook his head, clearly intent on explaining to her later, but he was surprised by Sirius looking up at her, seemingly hell-bent on telling her it right then.

“Your boyfriend was attacking a few first years. And calling the four of us faggots.” He walked past her, shoulder checking her as he did, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Sirius!” James shouted, shooting Lily an apologetic look before running after him.

“Christ,” Peter muttered under his breath, leaving Remus and Lily alone on the front steps of the castle, as he sprinted after both of them.

“Lily, I’m sorry. He didn’t mean it,” Remus said, even though he was lying through his teeth.

“Is it true?” Lily asked, rather curtly.

Remus nodded, looking at the half-smoked cigarette pressed into the grass. He sighed, picking it up, and shoving it into his pocket, aiming to throw it out later.

“Okay,” was all Lily said. “Let’s go.”

“What?” Remus demanded.

“C’mon,” she said, offering him her hand. She dragged him down the hallway, before breaking into a full on sprint as they were trying to catch up to where James, Peter, and Sirius were walking ahead.

Sirius had his head hanging down, and James and Peter were clearly still trying to cheer him up, reminding him of their victory before they returned to the Common Room, where the party was no doubt in full swing.

“Sirius!” Lily shouted, before stopping in front of them, hands on her knees to catch her breath. “Gimme a second.”

Sirius was silent, staring at her. She still had a hand up, panting, trying to catch her breath. 

“Sorry for jumping down your throat,” Sirius said, his voice a bit cracked. “You didn’t know.”

She shook her head. “I should’ve,” she said.

“What?” James immediately spoke, turning a deep red as he realized that he did.

“Severus sucks,” Lily explained. “I thought I could change him, but I can’t. To him, I’m just a token mudblood. And he’ll drop me the second I’m too inconvenient for him.” She was silent, staring at the ground. “I came to say I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Peter asked. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m sorry for not defending you,” Lily said, speaking directly to Sirius. “You’re my friend. Not him.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said. He stared awkwardly at her, unsure of how to proceed. 

“I’m gonna go back to the party,” Lily said. “But um… Sirius?”
“Yeah?” he asked. 

“Just know that… I accept you,” she said. “Don’t let Regulus get to you. For anyone that hates you for who you are, there’s a thousand of us who love you.”

For a moment, Sirius looked like he was on the verge of tears, his eyebrows knitted together, eyes trained on hers. Remus wasn’t expecting him to break, but after the fight, anything could be possible. Which is why he wasn’t too dumbfounded when he pulled Lily in for a tight hug.

It was rather brief, he pulled away quickly, wiping a tear from his eyes as he did. Lily elbowed him, walking past them, returning to the party.

James cut the silence first, “You stole the first hug from me…”

“I think Remus stole that a while ago,” Peter quipped.

“Doesn’t count, she likes Remus,” James said.

“Hey!” Remus protested.

Sirius punched James on the shoulder lightly. “C’mon you asshole. We’re missing your party.”

Chapter Text

Slughorn was droning on about certain heating techniques of cauldrons that offered different results based on temperature differences when James had to stifle a shout of excitement. A few people shot him annoyed looks as he muffled his whoop of glee, while Remus cocked an eyebrow at him, trying to figure out what was going on with him. Peter and Sirius were seated in front of them, and were trying their hardest not to turn around, thereby drawing attention to the scene. Thankfully, their Animagus forms made it so that their hearing was a bit sharper, and they could tune in to Remus and James’ whisper conversation.

Despite all the confusion, James was still hunched over his parchment, furiously scribbling, and to the unsuspecting eye, it almost looked like he was taking notes. Remus finally scooted over enough to peek at what he was doing, and all it was was an ornate drawing of a badger… but it looked all fuzzy.

“Whot’s that?” Remus whispered.

“The perfect prank,” James returned.

“Ya say that ev’ry time,” Remus informed him.

“And am I ever wrong?” James asked.

“Well… no, but only one prank can be th’ ‘perfect prank’,” Remus was saying when Slughorn rapped on his desk, forcing them to look up.

“Mr. Potter! Mr. Lupin! Something to share with the class?” he demanded.

“No sir,” Remus answered rather quickly.

“I er-” James faltered, looking around. “Just asking Remus to clarify your last point.”

“Well, I’d love to hear your insights,” Slughorn said, a small smirk crawling across his face; he had them cornered.

Remus returned the smirk, before saying, “I was just explaining to Mr. Potter here th’t as temperature variances change durin’ th’ brewing process, the activation of th’ ingredients changes too. If certain items have a lower melting point than others, you want to be sure to time heat changes wif the addition of new ingr’dients.”

“Well,” Slughorn said with a defeated sigh. “Next time, wait ‘til after class to review notes.” He returned to his lecture, while James shot him a grateful look of thanks.

When they were in the Great Hall for lunch, James pulled out what he had been drawing. It was a rather messy sketch, but James, the ever-talented artist, found a way to make it elegant. He had drawn up plants, labeling different parts in red, blue, green, and black ink. It was a gigantic badger, made entirely out of firework sparks.

A few weeks prior, Peter had demonstrated what he’d learned about them from McCoy, who loved to use fireworks right as he announced the winner of the game. Peter’s training to take over for him as announcer had begun. James had rather quickly picked up on the Charm, and was now finding the perfect way to make use of it.

“There’s th’t massive test comin’ up,” Remus was saying.

“Oh ree-lax,” Sirius said. “Ve’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be fine!” Remus protested. “Y’all’ll cheat offa me.”

“Rude!” Peter interrupted.

“Okay, Pads and Prongs’ll cheat offa me,” Remus relented.

“Thank you,” Peter said. “James seriously, what the hell is that?” He demanded, finally unable to take the secrecy anymore.

“Plans,” James said. “To avoid that very test.”

“Oh no,” Remus said.

“Show. Me,” Sirius demanded. 

“Wait. Is that?!” Remus demanded, yanking the paper from James. “James oh my God.” He dropped the parchment on his lap, and Peter snatched it from him.

“The Fireworks Charm?” Peter asked. “Oh you’re good.”

“Let me see!” Sirius demanded, crowding over Peter’s shoulder to get a look. “Damn Jamie, zis is some fine sketching.”

“What’s th’ plan here?” Remus asked. 

“There’s a way to delay the detonation of the fireworks,” James explained. “A giant badger parading through the halls right as the test is set to start. Gives us a free out!”

“Ya do realize that just means we’ll have to make up th’ test lat’r, right?” Remus asked.

“Shh,” Peter said. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’ll control the trigger for the fireworks. The best part, is by doing a badger, we’re immediately out of consideration for blame,” James explained.

“Not sure that’s how it works,” Sirius commented.

“We’ll need an alibi for setting it up,” Peter mused.

“So… spanding th’ night with Arthur, Anthony, us four in our rooms playing cards?” Remus suggested.

“Perfect,” Sirius said. 

James quickly furled the plans and placed it in his bag. He’d have to teach Sirius and Remus the Charm later, most likely with help from Peter. For now, they’d have to sprint off to their next class, and while Peter had a free period, Sirius and Remus were off to Astronomy, whereas James would be on his way to his history course he could not remember the name of.

--

Footsteps were echoing in the hallway as Regulus stared at the wall behind him. It had been two weeks since the fight with Sirius, two weeks since he’d spoken with James, two weeks since he’d made his final choice. Barty was pacing up and down in the empty classroom, while Evan watched idly on, watching his movements.

Across from Regulus sat Severus, furiously making notes in a journal, most likely about different plans for the next few days. 

“God!” Regulus shouted. “Stop.”

“Sorry,” Barty muttered.

“What’s up with you?” Evan demanded. “You’ve been a dick ever since the game.”

“Got a lot on my mind,” Regulus muttered.

“After the letter from your mom?” Severus asked, without looking up.

Regulus nodded, picking at his thumb as he refused to look at his friends.

“What’re you going to tell her?” Barty asked.

“Ze truth,” Regulus answered.

“And what if…” Severus trailed off, finally looking up.

“Zey won’t throw ‘im out,” Regulus said. “Eef ‘e leaves, eet vill look better for zem.”

“Makes sense,” Barty said, with a shrug.

“Evan,” Regulus said, turning to him. “Let me see your mark again.”

“Sure,” he shrugged, rolling up his sleeve for Regulus to inspect it.

The tattoo was fresh, his skin around it still a bit red. The snake curled, the eyes venomous and hateful, the skull locked into it gaunt and lifeless. Regulus wondered if he and the skull shared the same eyes, and for a moment, he allowed the dread to flood his body.

It felt like it was blooming in his chest, starting in the core of his sternum, a burning sensation pulsing through his body, and his stomach lurched. The moment Sirius was gone, he too, would be taking that mark.

He could run right there, never look back. He could stay with Dorcas and her friends, avoiding the other Slytherins at all costs. He could make it, there’d be some way that he could be safe, maybe James could take him in too.

“I like eet,” were the words that left his lips. “Well done.”

“Me too,” Evan said, grinning.

“When’ll you take it?” Barty asked.

“Probably ven Sirius leaves,” Regulus said.

“Christmas break can’t come sooner,” Severus commented, returning to his notes once again.

Barty and Evan returned to their discussion about an upcoming test, and Regulus pretended to be tuning in, but not participating in their discussion. The fear was hammering inside of his brain, the doubt pooling in his stomach, and he felt like the weight of the world was dragging his fingertips down into the earth.

And when he blinked, he was the same again. The decision made, and he forced himself to smile as though he was perfectly, totally, fine.

--

It was four days until the test, and their craftsmanship was anything but perfect. Anthony and Arthur were in on helping them build an alibi, and now it was just about perfecting the timing of each Charm, linking them back to James’.

“We suck,” Sirius said, dropping his wand in frustration as he failed for the eight time that night. Overhead, glimmering yellow fireworks were popping off.

Remus buried his face in his pillow, shaking with laughter after having seen Sirius’ expression. James looked over, and doubled over laughing as well, Peter not long after.

“I fail to see vat’s so funny,” Sirius grumbled.

“You look devastated,” James managed between laughs. “And there’s fireworks! Over your head!”

“Bright yellow! And you’re forlorn!” Peter wheezed, breaking down laughing once again.

“It’s… it’s jus’ a rich image mate,” Remus explained, finally having caught his breath.

“You arr all assholes,” Sirius grumbled, standing and walking over to his bed.

“We’re never going to learn it in time,” Peter said with a sigh. 

“We can do it!” James protested.

“What if you two did it?” Remus posed. “Sirius and I keep yer cover as ya make it.”

“It’ll take longer,” James mused. “But it’s doable.”

“I like this plan more than the first,” Peter said. “Having a bit of cover from Filch.”

Sirius nodded, shifting down his bed, digging through his trunk for his charcoals. With his sketchpad resting behind him, he was clearly aiming at drawing before going to bed. Remus had returned to his book, a pen and highlighter in hand for any realizations he had while reading.

James and Peter were still splitting up who would take which section of the firework to Charm, practicing it on a smaller scale as the night wore on. Eventually, the snapping sound of fireworks would be disruptive, and they’d settle down, returning to their beds for the night.

Sirius left the sketch unfinished on his bed as he went about getting undressed for a shower. It was as he was removing his shirt, facing away from Remus, that Remus looked up, and saw it. Right on the back of his right shoulder was a very small trail of paw prints leading towards his neck. Somehow, he hadn’t seen it within their first month of being back (most likely because looking at Sirius shirtless made him feral). 

“Sirius what the hell?” Remus demanded.

“Um. I am changing,” he said, without turning around.

“What?” James asked, sitting up. “Oi mate what the hell?” James demanded.

“Okay now I gotta see,” Peter said, looking over. “JESUS!”

“You know, zere’s better ways to say I look bad,” Sirius said, finally turning around to face them.

“You got a fucking tattoo?” Remus demanded.

“Without me?” James added.

“I mean. Are we that shocked?” Peter asked.

“I am!” Remus protested.

“It’s okay, I’m just really hurt. It’s just. It’s a lot to take in Pads,” James said, throwing on a fake pouting face. “I’ll try to find a way to accept it. But you’ll need to be patient with me.”

“Oh get over eet,” Sirius said, continuing to change for his shower.

“Unbelievable,” Remus muttered, returning to his book. 

Peter returned under his covers, trying to block out the light as he was fading back into sleep. James copied him, and Remus flicked off the lights with his wand, keeping the lamp by his desk on so he could read.

Sirius glared at him when the lights went out, before walking over to him, drawing his attention back up from the book. He was in nothing but a towel around his waist, and though his hair was greasy and sweaty from practice, it still hung around his face beautifully. Those slate grey eyes bored into his soul as Sirius stood just a step away from him.

“Whot?” Remus asked.

“Arr you mad?” Sirius asked, his voice barely audible. 

Remus shook his head.

“Be honest,” Sirius said.

“Pads,” Remus said with a sigh, setting the book in his lap. 

“You ‘ate it,” Sirius said, allowing a frown of doubt to crawl over his face, looking away from Remus.

“It’s lovely,” Remus said, resisting adding, just like you , to the sentence.

Sirius sighed, returning the eye-contact once again. Remus’ heart leapt into his throat, the way Sirius looked at him made him weak. But he grounded himself once more, returning the gaze all the same.

“Zank you,” Sirius said. As he turned around to walk away, Remus couldn’t help but stare at him as he went, the trace of the tattoo across his muscular back, the way the towel hugged at his hips, the toned muscles of his arms flexing as he gathered the last of his stuff for the shower.

Remus willed the blush to leave his face as he returned to the book once more, as the door shut behind Sirius to the bathroom.

“Psst,” Peter whispered to Remus. “I saw that.”

Remus stared at Peter, his eyes bugging out, but as he did he realized that Peter’s eyes were closed, and his chest rose softly as if he were asleep.

“Not a word,” Remus murmured, and he could’ve sworn that Peter nodded, but it was probably just him settling in for the night.

--

Midnight. Okay, 1:46am. Midnight enough. Peter and James were at opposite ends of the Great Hall, wands in the air, concentrating so intently that sweat had built up on their foreheads. They’d been running around ever since eleven, working as quickly as they could to carefully craft each spark into place. 

Once the spark was placed, it faded away unless James whispered the reveal spell. It was designed to keep it concealed until it would be time to set it off. Peter’s concentration only narrowed as the night went on, drawing each spark carefully, making sure every place matched their detailed designs.

Outside, Remus and Sirius were trading off using the map, and the Invisibility Cloak to keep their activities concealed. Thankfully, setting up the fireworks wasn’t too loud, and the biggest task was making sure that nobody coming by could hear anything. Remus, the ever adept at Silencing Charms, made sure that any noise from inside would be deafened to anyone outside.

The final step, arguably the most difficult, would be moving the entire creation into the hallways for setting off in the morning. Sirius was checking in every few minutes as the hours wore on, trying to see their progress. It would take all four of them to levitate the Charms into the hallway, for James to reveal it and check everything was in place one final time.

That part would have to be timed perfectly . Filch would be across the castle from them, the other Professors making their rounds would be taking their break: it all hinged on them being ready at 2:15 in the morning. 

That was, until Remus, having made a lap around the Great Hall once more with the cloak, stumbled onto Evan out for an evening stroll. He was most likely drunk, stumbling through the halls, and for a moment, Remus felt bad. 

Evan was talking to himself, muttering for the most part. “Stupid… useless little boy… I’ll show ‘em… god. I’m, I’m, I’m better than it… than it all… they’ll see…” he wandered away from the Great Hall. 

Remus weighed his options, of taking the chance to fall back or follow him, but then Evan stopped all movements for a moment.

“I wish… it were different,” Evan said. “We could be like them.” And then he was off again, making his way back to the Slytherin Common Room, seeming to have gathered himself a bit more, the confidence and resolved facade falling into place once more.

“Rem!” Sirius hissed, and he almost leapt a whole foot in the air.

“Fuck, Pads!” Remus hissed back. “Don’ scare me like th’t!”

“C’mon,” Sirius said. “We’re almost done.”

Remus suppressed a laugh as he invited Sirius under the cloak. Whenever he suppressed his accent, he sounded so Southern, as though over-correcting too hard on the hoighty-toighty made him go full “farmer”. 

“What?” Sirius hissed.

Remus shook his head, even though every part of his brain was screaming to just say, You’re just cute! at Sirius. Luckily for him, they were back at the Great Hall, James and Peter holding half of the badger up. 

The four managed to conceal themselves under the cloak, and began to slowly levitate and move the badger out of the Great Hall, into the hallways of the castle. As they walked, they could see the badger’s running motions, its great claws reaching out as its legs extended. 

They paused to catch their breath, before setting the sparks free in the hallway, and they held their breath, waiting for it to go wrong. When nothing happened, James murmured the reveal spell, and for a glittering moment, the hallway was illuminated with the spectacular beauty of Peter and James’ creation.

“It’s… beautiful,” Remus breathed.

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed. “You guys killed it.”

“Thanks,” they both said. As the boys stared, they allowed themselves to be lost in the beauty, even if it was for just a moment. The clicking of footsteps, though ever-distant, made them leap under the cloak once more, the spell dissipating into the air around them, the only person with the trigger to set it off being James.

As they returned into the Common Room, Remus informed them of what he’d seen Evan doing, and they all prayed that he hadn’t heard anything while Remus was off making the round. But Evan’s words stuck with Remus as he climbed back into bed. Who would they be like if things were different? 

Torturing himself with the possibilities was what Remus was best at, but the long evening weighed on his bones as exhaustion seeped into his body. Against his will, after just a few minutes, Remus was sound asleep, face-down on his bed.

--

Five more minutes. Probably. The question was just impossible, and the more times Sirius read it, the more frustrated he became. Whatever James was doing, taking his time in setting off the badger was going to make him snap in half. He shot another narrow look over at James, only to realize what was distracting him.

Of course the one day that Lily’s hair was tied up in a bun, was the day that he needed James to be completely focused the most. He elbowed Peter, who looked over, and saw the same problem as Sirius. They’d need Remus’ attention to get James to snap out of it, but Remus seemed to be in another world as he was taking the test.

Sirius rolled a small wad of paper over to Peter, who flicked it behind him, landing squarely in Remus’ face. His talent for aiming paper balls was discovered one night with a stack of parchment and a trash can on the floor of Aiden’s dorm, but it had come in rather useful after that night. Now, Remus was looking up at Peter, who nodded at James, and he realized.

Deftly, Remus kicked at James’ leg under the table, who let out a sharp exhale, before realizing what time it was. Gripping his wand under the table, James muttered the reveal spell and aimed it at the doorway, before dropping his attention back to the test.

If all was going correctly, in just a few moments there would be loud— CRACK! It shot through the hall, echoing around, before being populated with more of them, as more of the sparks went off.

“AH!” A few of the students around shouted at the popping noise, having no idea what was going on. It certainly didn’t sound like spells firing off, and their tests were rather rapidly abandoned as Slughorn sprinted outside.

All the Professors and students were spilling out of their classrooms, looking down the hallway and being stunned by the brilliant sight before them. A large, golden-yellow badger made of fireworks was roaming around the hallways, bending down and being pet by students, following some that walked through the crowd, chasing around gusts of wind and papers that were blown about by the chaos.

The student’s confusion and surprise quickly turned to wonder as they watched the creature roam, murmurs of amazement followed. The badger was quickly generating a mob of furious Professors trying to catch it, followed by students wanting to see more of the action. Before long, the hallways were packed, nobody was able to move very easily, and the Professors were stuck trying to catch it, pulling it out of the air.

“It’s so cute!” they heard one student mutter to her friends.

“When I pet it, it shocked my hand,” another commented.

“Who could’ve done this?” a third asked in wonder.

“Thank God we aren’t still taking that test,” one of their classmates commented, throwing a wink in the four’s direction.

“C’mon,” Peter said, pulling them up through the crowd.

“It turned out so good,” James said gleefully, looking around at the face of wonder, beaming with pride at his creation.

“It’s really beautiful,” Sirius said. “You guys did great.”

“Couldn’t’ve done it without your help,” James added.

“So. This is all great ‘nd all th’t,” Remus said. “But McGonagall is walking towards us right now.”

“Fuck.” Sirius spun around, throwing on a fake smile as he said, “Minerva! How the heck are ya?”

“Mr. Black!” she scolded. “It is Professor to you.”

“Sorry,” he muttered sheepishly.

“Do you have any idea what is going on here?” she demanded.

“Badger got loose?” Peter suggested, and James had to stop himself from laughing.

“No,” she said, narrowing her gaze. “And you wouldn’t know anything about it, would you?”

“Nope,” Peter said, confidently.

“Really?” she demanded. “Not from, McCoy?”

“Nah,” Peter said. “I told him I don’t mess with the firework displays.”

“Hm.” The shortness of her evaluation made them all freeze in terror. “Well. I had a chat with Mr. Rosier earlier. I think he may be right.”

“About needing a shower or…?” Peter supplied, and Sirius elbowed him, though he was trying to conceal his own laugh.

“About some students setting off fireworks last night in the Great Hall,” she said.

Shit . There might’ve been a chance he realized Remus was there, and as Remus came to that conclusion, so did the other three.

“Anything to refute this claim?” she asked.

“We were wif Arthur and Anthony last night,” Remus said.

“Funny. Arthur and Anthony checked in to the Infirmary earlier, with the flu,” she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Fuck. He had not checked on the status of their alibi. Beside him, Sirius was growing red with rage, processing all that he was being told in that moment.

“Well? Mr. Black? Mr. Potter?” she asked. “Mr. Pettigrew? Anything else to add?”

“We didn’t do this!” James sputtered.

“Look at these faces!” Peter said. “They are the faces of the innocent, Professor.”

“And this is the face of a woman who is not amused,” she returned. “Detention! All of you! And twenty points from Gryffindor! Get back to your class.” She spun on her heel, and returned to aiding the Professors.

At that point, the badger had been caught and dispelled, and everyone was making their way into the Great Hall for lunch. Peter let out a long sigh, as James shook his head. Remus said nothing, too afraid to look at Sirius who was anger incarnate, almost trembling.

“Honestly,” Peter said first. “That was worth it.”

“Totally,” James agreed. “Did you see everyone’s faces?”

“Amazing!” Peter said, looking over at Sirius. “C’mon mate. Our alibi was not that strong. It’s not too bad.”

Sirius said nothing, glaring up at him.

“Relax, Pads,” James said. “We pulled it off! Well. For the most part. It was beautiful.”

“Sirius,” Remus finally spoke.

“Fuck off,” he spat at all of them, shoving past his friends, hands shoved into his pockets as he fled out to the grassy hills outside of the castle.

A bit stunned and confused, the three decided to give him time to cool off. He was always easily pissed off whenever their plans went awry, and he’d most likely come around and apologize in a few hours. Remus couldn’t help but feel a bit of guilt, but he shoved it aside, knowing the best thing in that moment was for Sirius to be alone.

--

He sighed, frustrated, the lighter sparking but no flame erupting. Sirius then noticed that the fluid was almost empty, and he dropped to the ground in frustration, putting his head in his hands, the cigarette still between his fingertips.

Behind him, someone clicked their lighter, bringing the cigarette to life. They sat down next to Sirius, lighting their own cigarette, staring out at the lake, watching it calmly. When Sirius looked up, he found Lily, watching the ebb of the waves at the sandy shore.

“Lily?” he asked.

“That’s my name,” she said.

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

“Smoking, what’s it look like?” she retorted.

“Sorry,” he muttered, taking a drag on the cigarette. “What’re you doing ‘ere?”

“Checking on you,” she said.

“I’d rather be alone,” he answered.

“Why?” she asked.

“I don’t want to explain?” Sirius questioned.

“Alright,” she said with a shrug. “You’re welcome for the light.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said. She stood, turning to walk away, when Sirius said, “Fine.”

“Fine?” Lily asked.

“You know that badger was us,” Sirius began to explain.

“It was incredible. I gotta tell Remus he did a good job,” she commented.

“James and Peter made it,” Sirius said. “‘E and I just kept watch.”

“James made that crazy thing?” she demanded.

“Yep,” Sirius nodded, taking another puff.

“Why’re you so upset about it?” she asked.

“I’m not,” Sirius said with a sigh. “We got detention, big shocker. I just. I dunno. I realized some stuff, watching everyone’s reactions. If you can’t tell, I’m not great at dealing with my emotions. I jus’ needed to be alone, zo process.”

“I get it,” Lily said. “What’d you realize?”

Sirius shook his head, completely incapable of saying it.

“It’s alright,” she said. “Don’t gotta tell me anything.”

“His eyes,” was all Sirius said. 

Lily nodded, flashing him a smile as she stood up, dropping her cigarette and putting it out under her foot. She picked up the butt, concealing it in her palm, and turned, walking back towards the castle. Sirius continued to smoke, watching the edge of the lake curl against the sand, listening to her footsteps fade.

Perhaps there was a chance she didn’t hear what he said, but he would have to thank her for coming to check on him. And even though he was enjoying the alone time, it was becoming harder and harder to deal with. 

Remus’ eyes were filled with glittering stars as he watched those fireworks. His tawny hair pushed back, the flex of his throat, the roll of those strong, broad shoulders. And the scars, trailing across his face, shimmering and beautiful, his sharp jaw, strong nose, he was breathtaking and Sirius just couldn’t take it. Remus shone like the moon, and it was going to be the death of Sirius.

So for now, he smoked at the lake, wondering how long it would take for this crush to just go away, even though he knew the truth. Instead, he kept smoking by the lake, praying the distraction would keep the feelings at bay.

Chapter Text

Peter sat on the floor of the men’s restroom just outside of the Great Hall, a scrub brush in hand, wand left in the dorms, knowing there’d be no way he’d be allowed to use magic. One of the sinks kept dripping, and he was just becoming accustomed to the repetitive sound, when it changed. He’d have to find the source later and fix the problem.

For now, he continued to scrub, trying to clean up the mess, and staring at the individual tiles, a bit annoyed, a bit exhausted, a bit bored. It was the same old story, over and over with these detentions, and it never became any more reasonable to deal with. Sirius had arrived early to their meeting time, apologizing to the group about getting overwhelmed. He never cared too much about Sirius’ dramatics, he was quite used to it at that point.

What had surprised him was how Remus had reacted: certainly by that point they all would’ve been used to his flair for theatrics. Perhaps it was what he’d observed just a week prior to setting the prank, when he saw how Remus looked at Sirius. Although nothing was really different in how the two interacted, something in both of them had changed. And somehow neither of them could see it.

It was these thoughts that Peter was wrapped in as he paced around the bathroom, cleaning up different spots, before targeting his energy on the dripping sink. Most likely one of the bolts in it had come loose, and he’d have to find and tighten the valve. Being muggle-born meant he was rather adept at the menial detention chores.

Perhaps the fact that he was so wrapped up in thought was why he was absolutely horrified to turn around and find another person in the bathroom. And her hair was done into short, loose dreads, a brand new silver septum ring glittering in the pale light of the bathroom, as she scared Peter with a soft, “Boo!”

“JESUS!” he yelped, dropping the supplies before realizing who was there.

“Gotcha,” Dorcas grinned, cocking her head to the side as she observed him catching his breath.

“Jesus Dorcas,” Peter muttered. “Gonna give someone a heart attack.

“I think I just did,” she answered.

“Mhm.” He rolled his eyes. “What’re you doing here?”

“Making my rounds,” she answered. “Thought I heard trouble.”

“You just heard me,” he answered.

“Shame,” she said. “This round has been a bit boring. Any word on what Lily, Dels, Mary, and Lene might be up to?”

“Nope,” Peter said. “Been here all night.”

“Cause of the fireworks?” she asked, and he nodded. “They were brilliant.”

“Thanks,” he said. “James gets most of the credit, he designed the whole thing.”

“For a Charms ace, you think he’d do better in the class,” Dorcas replied.

“He still thinks it’s lame to ‘try’ or ‘show you care’,” Peter explained. He resumed his work trying to repair the sink.

“Hm,” she answered. “I’ll leave you to work.”

“No help?” Peter asked.

“Of course not!” she said from where she was standing in the doorway. “This is detention. No help on punishments!” The door swung shut behind her, and in an instant, she was gone.

Considering her and Remus’ positions as Prefects, Peter was a bit surprised to even see her there. Warranted, Remus was almost always on probation for being a Prefect, whereas Dorcas was consistent with mostly perfect behavior. Even though her stopping in to observe put a bit of a dent in the progress of his work, it did make him feel a bit more refreshed.

He often wondered how someone like her would end up in Slytherin, even though Dorcas always emphasized how much the Houses were about values, not inherent qualities. Whatever her values were, she always treated him with respect. It was these thoughts Peter was left with as he continued to clean into the night.

--

As dust flew with each swipe of the broom, James couldn’t help but feel that all he was accomplishing was just creating a more spread out mess. He was stuck in some old classroom that hadn’t been used in a few years, and was tasked with making it fit for teaching once again. An impossible task for his time frame, level of exhaustion, and the amount of grime in the room. Not to mention, he was working without magic.

McGonagall had told him it was a rather good opportunity to practice wandless magic, which was rather annoying, even if it was a good point. He was far off from being remotely well practiced at it, in fact the only one among them who had any inklings of progress in that regard was Remus. Instead, he was stuck with a broom, shoving dirt around a classroom, trying to solve the puzzle of how to clean off the soot from the chalkboard.

Perhaps worst of all was the fact that it was driving James’ allergies insane, how much dust and soot he was kicking up into the air. He coughed and sneezed, probably knocking up a racket for anyone nearby, and thankfully he was alone for the most part. Remus had retained the map for the evening, and therefore he had no idea about anyone’s positions in the castle.

And when James opened up a box, creating a plume of dust, and he fell back sneezing, he was rather astounded to see a cat leap up and land on his chest, meowing loudly at him. He immediately held up the cat, standing up and trying to dust it off, before realizing who he was holding.

“Oh no,” James whispered. “Mrs. Norris, please don’t tell on me.”

“Mrew?” The cat tilted her head to the side.

“How did you even get in there?” he demanded. 

She purred, even though he was holding her rather awkwardly.

“God, Filch is gonna kill me,” James whisper-yelled, beginning to panic. He paced around the room, still not putting the cat down, in fact waving her at certain points of his rant in the air as though she was an extension of his hands. “I’m gonna have detention for the rest of my life! I’ll graduate and still be serving my sentence. How the hell did you even get in that box?” He spun her and her close to his face, as though he was demanding an answer.

“Mew!” she answered.

“Yeah… you don’t understand a word I’m saying,” he muttered. An idea sparked into his mind, and he then said, “Mrew. Meow, meow, mew, meow. Meow! Do you hear me? Me! Ow!”

Mrs. Norris purred rather happily, before James sunk into one of the broken classroom chairs with a sigh, allowing her to curl up on his chest as he hung his head in defeat. Absently, James patted her head, as he contemplated the different ways he could run and save his skin.

“Mrs. Norris?” Filch’s voice came down the hallway. Thankfully, he didn’t sound rather frantic.

“In here!” James called, and the cat leapt down, pressing her face to the doorway as Filch came up to greet her.

He swooped her up in his arms, giving her a kiss on the cheek before narrowing his gaze at James. “You.”

“I did nothing!” James threw his hands up in protest. A lie was certainly better than the box answer, for sure. “She just wandered in here.”

“A likely story…” Filch trailed off, pondering. “I’ll let you off with a warning.”

“Thank you,” James said, exhaling in relief.

“Now get to work!” Filch commanded. “It’s a mess in here.”

James sighed, picking up his broom once more, the daunting task before him draining the last of the energy from his body. Once again, he went about sweeping, spreading the small confined mess all around the room, and in some ways, that could be seen as making it cleaner.

--

There’s certainly a chance that being a Prefect made it so that Remus’ detention wasn’t as harsh as the others. There’s also a chance that the librarian specifically requested his help with re-shelving the periodicals, as he was one of the few students who truly understood her organization system. 

It was with this knowledge weighing on him that commanded his attention as Remus went about the mindless task of shelving the books back up. All he could think about was where his friends were, and what they were doing. Most importantly, what Sirius was doing. In the study rooms that Remus walked by, he heard a few students getting… busy, and it made his lungs implode with desire and hatred each time.

It had been less than two months back at school and he was finding it harder and harder to resist Sirius. The tattoo was just over the top, with the lip and eyebrow piercings? There’s a very good chance that he would snap at the next moon, and he had no idea what would happen when he did. Every single thing that Sirius ever did made him fall just a bit deeper and deeper in love. Even worse, was the fact that Sirius was everywhere he looked.

Literally. 

More like figuratively, in that moment, as Remus had stumbled across a photograph of the Gryffindor Quidditch team from last year, and Sirius was grinning and winking at him in the picture, just like he did at every game. God , Remus shook his head. He had a beautiful smile, it made him weak in the knees. 

“Mr. Lupin,” the voice came from behind him.

“Sorry ma’am,” Remus mumbled.

“I’ll let it slide this once. Pay more attention!” she scolded, switching out the books that he’d shelved incorrectly.

Remus set the book down in its proper place, and tried to resume his focus on the task in front of him. Because of the recent history papers due, nearly all the periodicals had been taken down and needed re-shelving, and it would probably take him most of the night.

That was until, he was further down in the library, hidden from the librarian’s viewpoint, and discovered a few students huddling over a book. It was a Charms book, mostly with gag Charms, and the students couldn’t be older than second years. Was it his duty as a Prefect to bust them? Probably. Was he going to? Absolutely not.

Instead, Remus walked over, getting their attention as he did, before sitting down in front of the group, asking, “Whot’s this?”

“Er,” one of them stuttered out. “A book.”

“Yes, I can see th’t, Michael, tell me what the book is,” Remus teased. 

“My name’s Matthew,” the kid muttered.

“Nice to meet you Matty,” Remus said. “I’m Remus.”

“He goes by Matthew,” one of them corrected Remus under their breath.

“No,” Remus said. “To me he’s Matty.”

“Okay,” Matthew said, perhaps nodding a bit too eagerly. “That’s Edward. And he’s Thomas.” Matthew gestured at the respective boys to whom he was referring.

“Good to meet ya lot,” Remus said. “Now tell me, why’re ya hidin’ out here with th’t?”

“What do you mean?” Matthew asked.

“We can’t take it back to our dorm,” Edward added.

“Why not?” Remus asked.

“It’s too late to check it out!” Edward said, growing a bit red in the face as he did.

“We don’t want to be on the librarian’s bad side,” Matthew added.

“I heard she refuses to do late returns or check outs,” Thomas murmured.

Remus let out a chortle of laughter at their fear, rather entertained by their antics. In a way, it reminded him of when he and Peter were discovered by a Prefect in their first year, in a situation that was quite similar to the one now. Calmly, Remus explained how they could still check out the  book, and that the rumors of a mean librarian meant more people would behave.

It was rewarding to be able to offer the young students a calming presence, rather than coming at them with anger and punishment, he offered them a chance to learn and rectify their mistakes. In many ways, it made Remus happy to be a Prefect, but it also saddened him a bit. Those fresh-faced young kids were just starting their journey, and he was almost nearing the end.

And when they were gone, Remus was back to his shelving work, left with the same questions he’d entered the work with. In the back of his mind, Sirius’ lip ring was tugging on his lip when they stretched into a smile, and he was awkwardly grinning back, wondering how long he’d have to wait to kiss him too.

--

Sirius had resigned to a rather silent form of protest in this detention, which of course was, refusing to clean any trophies that had Slytherin carved into them. Still furious at Rosier for ratting them out, he wanted to act in the most petty way he could think of. And for Sirius, that was a bevy of opportunities to be a raging prick.

He was rather in his head, the process of cleaning the trophies rather healing for his anger, as it required ample physical labor and pressure in order to actually yield some results. And while normally he wouldn’t care about the busy work that they were given in detention, if it was a chance to take out his anger, Sirius leaping at it.

The entire time that they’d been back at Hogwarts, Sirius was as angry as he was in love. He couldn’t show his face at home anymore, he couldn’t face his feelings for Remus, and he certainly was not about to get over them any time soon. Something had changed in Remus over the summer, and it was most definitely a result of aging with the transformations. His shoulders broader, his arms bulkier, his body taut and strong. After the last two moons, Remus had been irritable and on edge before them, and insanely strong and controlling throughout. It was as though he’d become possessive and dominating and Sirius loved it. 

If only he had the balls to act on those feelings, maybe something could happen, something about both of them could change. Instead, he was stuck wiping soot off of old trophies, wondering how he’d face either of his families again.

That was until footsteps in the hallway made him turn around. The door handle clicked around, opening, and revealing Barty, Evan, and Severus, each brandishing wands, and staring at him. Silently, Barty closed the door once all were inside, and they advanced on Sirius. He was frozen in place, his only option for escape impossible, as they couldn’t know about Padfoot.

“Hello Sirius,” Barty said, a long drawl on the words. “How are you?”

“What are you doing here?” Sirius spat back.

“That eager to hide your French roots, hm?” Evan teased, trailing his wand along Sirius’ nose. “Don’t worry. Your mother thinks you aren’t worthy of the heritage either.”

“Get out,” Sirius muttered.

“Hm?” Severus asked, pretending to pout. “‘Fraid I can’t hear you.”

“Get out,” he repeated.

“No,” Barty said, an evil grin crawling across his face. “I don’t think I will.”

“What, you’ve only got the balls to face me when I’m without a wand?” Sirius demanded. “You poofs that scared?”

Evan answered him with a fist to the jaw, and damn did he know how to pack a punch. Blood pooled in Sirius’ mouth as his head snapped with the motion, but Barty caught him before he could fall. He was muttering a tying spell, pinning Sirius’ hands behind his back, before letting him fall to the ground.

“Scared?” Evan sneered.

“We just think you need a lesson,” Severus said, leaning close. Sirius retched at the scent, and it made Severus smack him in the face, before continuing as he said, “About why we can’t let any faggots run around in these halls. Show what happens when they decide to ‘be themselves’.” Barty and Evan laughed at his pocking high pitched tone.

Evan began to cast different Charms, as Severus and Barty stepped back. Sirius was incapable of moving, frozen in position by the different spells, before each of the three took their turns kicking him in the stomach. With each hit he felt a different part inside of him crack, and soon enough he began coughing up blood, trying to writhe away from them.

He couldn’t shout for help, they had spelled his mouth shut, and he couldn’t get away from where he was prone on the floor. With every second the pain became more intense, feeling the sharp jolts of pain from the kicks and the dull ache thrumming through his body as blood flowed from each spot they hit.

After what felt like agonizing hours, though in reality was about ten minutes, they stopped. Sirius could barely breathe, his face was swollen, his body bruised, cuts on his face and arms, and he continued to cough and retch on the floor, surrounded by the boys, who simply watched him. He was sobbing, out of his mind in pain and agony, and was most certainly going to be unconscious within the next few minutes.

His vision was fading in and out as he heard voices and shouting. Sirius thought he heard Remus’ signature, incomprehensible Welsh yelling matched with smacks, punches, and cracks of spells going off, but he was probably hallucinating it all. While remaining on the floor, shivering with the pain and agony, he closed his eyes, finally blacking out, alone on the floor of the trophy room.

--

When Sirius awoke, he was in the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey had wrapped heavy bandages around his arms and chest, and he laid shirtless, though thankfully with a pair of pants on under the blankets. At his side, Remus was asleep in a chair, a book in his lap. Next to him, James and Peter were out cold, clearly having refused to leave his side in the night.

Immediately seeing he was awake, Madame Pomfrey walked over and handed him a small cup of medicine, which with a wince, he extended his arm, and then drank.

“Merci,” he mumbled.

“Do you know what happened?” she asked.

“Barty and Evan and Severus found me in the trophy room,” he mused. “Attacked me… I thought I heard Remus… I guess he brought me here?”

“He did,” she said. She then pointed towards the other beds with the curtains drawn. “And he certainly gave them a piece of his mind. I had to reset Mr. Snape’s jaw. Only one of your ribs was broken. You’ll be here for a few days. And no Quidditch for two weeks!”

“What?” Sirius immediately complained, the volume of his shout waking his friends. “Two weeks?!”

“I’m sorry Mr. Black, you’ve just got to heal. Rest up, and you might be able to leave tonight,” she said, and left him with his friends as she checked on the others.

“Sirius,” James said sleepily. “You’re alive.”

He nodded shortly. “Think she’ll let me smoke in here?”

“I think she’ll kill you,” Peter said, grinning at his friends. “Knowing you’re asking for that means you’re feeling better.”

Remus was completely silent, staring intently at Sirius, as though he was about to disappear, as though Sirius was the only thing in the world that was real, that mattered. He had no idea how to process it, or even look at Remus, so instead he chose to focus on the other two.

“What happened after I passed out?” Sirius asked.

“Remus…” James trailed off, looking at him. Remus remained dead silent, almost frozen. “He’s. Processing.”

“He kinda lost it,” Peter explained. “Bashed Rosier’s head in, he had to get stitches. Dislocated Snape’s jaw, and I think broke Barty’s arm in like five different places. Not to mention gave them a bevy of hexes that took Pomfrey hours to undo.”

“Shoulda killed ‘em,” Remus muttered, leaning back in his chair and pressing his lips into his hands, folded in front of his chin.

“Mate, I think they’d rather be dead,” James joked.

But Remus was silent once again, staring blankly at Sirius.

“Boys,” Madame Pomfrey’s voice cut into their conversation. “I’m afraid only one of you may stay with Mr. Black.”

“Go,” Sirius encouraged the three of them. “I’ll be fine.”

“No,” Remus said, absolutely refusing to move.

“It’s okay,” Peter said. “You stay the night. We’ll bring your work back to the dorms, and hopefully you can leave tomorrow morning.”

“How long has it been since detention?” Sirius asked.

“Well detention was last night. I got ya here at about four. It’s almost six now,” Remus explained. “Ya jus’ missed one day.”

“Get well soon mate,” James said, lightly hugging Sirius, trying to be careful of his injuries. Peter did the same, and the two were walking away, shutting the curtains behind them as they went. 

Sirius immediately sat up, and turned to face Remus, though not without immense regret, as he let out a groan of pain. Remus shot up, supporting Sirius’ back and shoulder, relieving the pain on his body almost instantly. His skill at knowing the body most likely came from his father, having learned to help him deal with the transformations.

“Looks like I’m out of commission for the next moon,” Sirius joked, trying to get Remus to smile.

“‘S okay,” Remus said absently.

“Moons,” Sirius said. “What is wrong with you?”

Remus sighed, finally meeting Sirius’ gaze, and immediately regretted it. All Sirius saw were Remus’ beautiful brown eyes, rimmed with tears, his hair a perfect glowing ring around his head, the scars illuminated with the faint lights of the hospital, the sweater pulling at his arms, he was perfection. Sirius was in love, and there was no way Remus couldn’t see it him his eyes.

“I jus’,” Remus sighed. “I saw ‘em on the map, and I ran to ya. But I were too late. Siri, I thought you were dead.”

“Remus,” Sirius murmured, trying to contain his tears. He was rather weak from the attack, and buried his head in his hands, beginning to sob. The reality of his situation, and the amount of pain he was in began to set in, began to make it all real.

He would go home for Christmas, and it would be the last time he and Regulus would be under the same roof. Everyone hated him for being gay, everyone hated him for aligning himself with those who aren’t Purebloods. It was miserable; Sirius was miserable.

All that was keeping him alive was his friends, and he’d almost lost it all that night. And here was the love of his life, on the verge of tears, feeling as though he was at fault, that he was to blame. Which is why Sirius was surprised when Remus wrapped those strong, safe arms around him.

It’s why he leaned into the touch, pulling Remus onto the hospital bed, allowing himself to cry harder into his arms. And when he heard Remus murmuring a Silencing Charm as he pulled Sirius to his chest, holding him carefully so that he wasn’t in any pain, gently stroking his hair as they laid together. It’s why Remus just let Sirius cry, because that’s what he needed. To let the pain of his life out through tears, to sob until the ache in his chest was lighter, for just a few moments.

So when Remus spoke, he made sure to be as intentional with his words as he could be. “I love you Siri. An’ I’m sorry th’t all of this is happenin’. If I’m honest I’m jus’ happy yer still around. Th’t I still get to have ya in my life. You mean th’ world to me.”

Sirius nodded, still crying, but less violently, wiping his tears on the bed sheet, and laughing to himself at the smudges on Remus’ sweater. 

“Zank you,” Sirius murmured. “Can I ask you zomezing?”

“Anythin’,” Remus said.

“Vill you stay ze night with me, like zis?” Sirius asked, refusing to look at Remus.

So Remus turned Sirius’ chin so that they were making eye contact, and he said, “Of course.” And Sirius was looking at him, almost expectant, as though that would be the moment, the perfect moment to kiss him, just to convey all of those feelings, let him know everything he felt. Then, he looked down.

Remus was reaching to get a book, and he couldn’t ruin their friendship. Laying with his head on Remus’ strong chest, listening to the soft pitter-patter of his heartbeat matching the even, low tone of his reading, he couldn’t help but let himself think that there was a small chance, Remus felt the same way.

For now, they laid together, relaxing into the other’s arms, each dancing around the feelings that they had no idea how to confess to the other. When Sirius fell asleep, Remus set the book down, taking the chance to observe him, with his hands in Sirius’ hair. 

“Beautiful,” Remus whispered, before surrendering himself to sleep.

Chapter Text

It had only been thirty minutes. The most agonizing thirty minutes of Sirius Black’s life, and there was another hour to go before he would be freed from class for the afternoon. Flitwick was droning on about the practical application of different binding Charms, from working around the house, to some of the tasks that Aurorers would eventually take on. 

There would most likely be an essay about it, the details that he would get from Remus later, because he and Peter were locked in a rather intense game of Tic-Tac-Toe Extreme Addition™. They’d come up with it one night on the floor of their room, stoned out of their mind, in which each square of a giant Tic-Tac-Toe board was a smaller board. Only Peter and Sirius understood the rules, as it was rather complex and a seemingly insane way to play the game.

Remus and James were across the room from them, Remus actively paying attention and taking notes, whereas James was still fixated on practicing the spell. As Remus looked down, he realized that James was trying to untie Sirius’ shoes, and then retie them to each other. 

“Don’ get caught,” was all Remus said to warn him.

“I won’t if you don’t keep talking,” James muttered back.

Flitwick shot them a glare, but was clearly more focused on continuing with his lecture, accepting that they seemed to fall silent with his brief gaze. It was a rather fascinating point, how bonding Charms were passed down amongst different baking families, and eventually developed so uniquely that you could tell which pastry was baked by which family. He’d have to look into that later in the library, most likely in one of the historical catalogues of different storefronts in Hogsmeade.

Sirius had laid a final “X” on one of his squares, putting himself to win that square, accepting the loss that Peter would be able to choose to play wherever he wanted. Their fixation on the game was making James’ life far easier than necessary, as Sirius wasn’t paying attention to anything else in the room. 

Until, of course, they had to leave. As Flitwick was ushering students out of the room, Sirius tripped on his own shoes, and landed face-first on the ground, groaning with the pain. At this point, the only people left were Anthony, Remus, James, Peter, Delilah, Mary, and Leila, who were mostly wrapped up in their own conversations. Immediately, everyone snapped to look over, and see Sirius, cussing out James as he tried to undo his shoes.

James, in turn, was retying them, rather haphazardly in Remus’ opinion, as he still didn’t have a great grasp on the spell. Still, he was more enticed in speaking with Mary and Peter, occasionally glancing over to see if they were still doing okay.

Which they were, until he heard James’ gasp. When he looked over at them, he saw Sirius’ hands bound together in front of his chest, and James turning red trying to untie him.

“We should probably help,” Peter muttered, and they bid goodbye to Mary, who exited the room with the other classmates.

“Jamie, give it up, c’mon, I’ll-” Remus faltered.

Sirius’ cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, his hair stuck to his forehead, draping around his face, and he sat prone, incapable of moving. Those beautiful, soft peach-pink lips parted, his breaths drawing short and it made Remus lose all focus. Possessive anger flooded his body as he stared down at Sirius, wanting nothing more than to take him, claim him, get them all to know that Sirius was his and only his.

But Sirius whispering, “Rem,” brought him out of it, and he managed to calm himself, murmuring the undo spell and helping Sirius roll out his shoulders.

“You dick, James,” Sirius immediately said once he stood up. “Get your arse over ‘ere.”

“Oh no,” James said, backing away, before turning and sprinting out of the room.

“ARSEHOLE!” Sirius shouted, sprinting out after him, and after a pair of loud footsteps echoed in the hallway, they heard a smack, and tackling noise, presumably the two boys wrestling somewhere outside.

Remus ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm his beating heart, trying desperately to relax. Thank god for their robes, at least nobody else could see just what Sirius was doing to him.

“You good man?” Peter asked.

Shit. “Yeah, ‘m fine.” Remus waved him off.

“No, mate, you look…” Peter trailed off, uncertain of how to phrase exactly what he meant.

“‘M screwed, ain’t I?” Remus asked.

Peter shrugged. “If it’s any consolation, I think he feels the same.”

“But if he don’t,” Remus said, staring hopelessly at Peter.

“He does,” Peter repeated. “Now c’mon. Get your shit together, there’s a lake waiting for us to swim in it.”

Remus groaned, forgetting the plans that they had made for that afternoon. Begrudgingly, he followed Peter out of the room, collecting James and Sirius as they made their way back to the dorms to change for an afternoon by the lake.

--

With the injuries from the fight still wearing on Sirius, he had an easy excuse to get the dorm all to himself while Remus, James, and Peter went to the lake without him. Just to be certain, however, Sirius charmed and locked the bathroom shut, throwing up a Silencing Charm to feel safe. It was the way Remus went about everything in life that was making Sirius so stupidly horny.

Every heavy object lifted, every punch thrown, every eye-roll or grimace, every smirk and frown, it was so fucking beautiful it was driving Sirius up the wall. His body had filled out, rippling muscles across his back and up his arms, the beautiful mane of tawny hair overgrown just enough to flow down his neck and around his forehead. And whenever he wore those horn-rimmed glasses at night while reading, god Sirius could melt. 

Worst of all was how Remus looked at him, and it wasn’t just after Charms, it was all the time. Possessive, desiring, each glance they exchanged it convinced Sirius more and more that maybe Remus actually liked him too. Though, to be fair, the darkening of those golden-amber eyes that afternoon in the Charms classroom was something that made Sirius see stars. He allowed himself to want to be tied up by Remus, to want Remus to look at him again with the same adoring control and desire. The glittering lust laced into those dazzling browns, Sirius simply couldn’t take it.

Embarrassed, a bit annoyed, mostly overwhelmed with himself, he grabbed the bottle of lotion off the counter, undid the Charms on the bathroom, and threw himself onto his bed, making sure the curtains were shut tight.

--

As James dove into the cool water, he felt the cool sensation envelop him, and he kicked around a bit when he surfaced, relaxing from the end-of-summer heat in the fresh lake. He shouted at Peter to drag Remus away from shore: he never wore anything other than summer linens and button-down t-shirts, all in an effort to hide his scars.

And where he was posed, reading under the shade of a great sycamore, it was perfect distance for Peter to splash him, or at least the book, and force him to partake in their activities. Lucky for Remus, Sirius was walking over to distract them, yet unlucky for Remus, Sirius was walking over to distract him .

He was sprinting over to them, already ripping off his shirt and strutting around in his normal black swimmers, preparing himself to launch into the water. And god did he look sexy. Not quite as sexy as when he was bound prone on his knees before Remus, but perhaps that was an image to concentrate on at another time.

Remus couldn’t take his eyes off of how those trunks hugged his hips, perfectly framing his ass, the beautiful happy trail of hair down his stomach, the rippling, well-toned muscles all along his shoulders, down his arms, he was sex incarnate. Perhaps the full moon in the coming week was going to be the death of him, and for a moment, he allowed himself to consider getting in the water with them.

Sirius, however, had other plans, shaking himself like a dog when he got out of the water. He flashed that brilliant smile at Remus as he shouted, “OI REM!”

“NO!” Remus shouted, dropping his book, standing, looking for an escape.

“You can’t run from me!” Sirius shouted, sprinting off the beach over to Remus, who immediately began to run.

But Sirius launched himself in the air, and landed squarely on Remus’ back, tackling him to the ground. Remus immediately turned around, thinking quickly and grabbing Sirius’ shoulders, throwing him off and then pinning him to the ground. Sirius kicked around, trying to break free, only to realize that Remus was barely using any of his strength, while Sirius was using all of his.

And from where he was underneath Remus, those beautiful curls hanging around his head, flecks of water up his neck, muscles rippling from where Sirius’ arms were pinned, god the bracelets on his left arm, all he wanted to do was lean up and kiss him. But he was reminded of where they were when James tackled him from the side, rolling to the ground with him.

Peter pulled Sirius up, and all three of them were shoving Remus to the water’s edge, and by the end of the walk he had accepted his fate. Remus grabbed onto all three of them, taking all four boys off the dock and into the water, a large splash surrounding them as they went. 

When they surfaced, James and Sirius were swimming circles around each other, each trying to splash or drown the other, while Peter was relaxing on his back, floating under the setting sun. Remus sighed, dragging himself out of the lake, stealing one of James’ towels to dry off.

“I’m goin’ to change!” he shouted at the boys in the water, but only Peter acknowledged him with a wave, as James had Sirius in a half-underwater headlock.

--

Little puddles of water followed his footsteps as Remus walked through the halls, and thankfully returned to an empty Common Room. Most everyone was probably out enjoying the last of the summer sun before September finally ended. He was in his room, throwing wet clothes into the bathtub, intending to hang them out to dry later. After thoroughly drying his head (and thereby ruining his hair), he walked back out to the Common Room, hoping to unwind by a window with a book in hand.

Instead, however, he found Lily with a pile of work around her, her head in her hands. Somehow in the time it took him to dry off, she had walked downstairs, surrounded herself in work, and then let the overwhelming pressure of it all bog down around her head.

“Remus,” she said, upon seeing him walk downstairs. “Help me, please.”

“‘Course!” he said, taking the empty seat next to her. “What’s th’ probl’m?”

“I have so much to do and it’s only the second month,” she said, feeling the tears well up in her eyes once again. “I don’t know if I can do this much work. How do you do it?”

“I don’,” Remus said, rather simply. “I do whot I can, an’ make sure to have fun so I don’ off myself.”

“Easier said than done,” Lily muttered.

“Yeah, it is,” he said, nodding his agreement. “Look. What d’ya have to do right now, that’s-” Remus cut himself off. “Is it not Friday?”

“It is,” she said.

“Lily,” he said, taking her hands, “Lils.”

“Remus spit it out.”

“Don’ ever do work on Friday’s unless ‘s finals,” Remus advised. “Make a list of what ya must do on Saturday an’ Sunday. That has to be done by Monday.”

Lily nodded, letting go of his hands and running one over her face. “Okay. You’re right.”

“When’m I not?” Remus demanded.

She chuckled, shaking her head, before realizing that Remus was still a bit damp. “What happened to you?”

“Got thrown in th’ lake,” Remus said, a cheeky grin crawling over his face as he imagined what the other three were doing at that moment.

“Ah,” she nodded wisely. “I heard about what happened yanno.”

“You heard I got thrown in th’ lake?” he demanded. “It jus’ happened!”

“No,” she said, shaking her head with a laugh. “‘Bout Charms. Mary told me.”

Remus fell silent, feeling a heat crawl over his cheeks, hiding his face in his hands miserably. “No,” he moaned.

“Oh Rem, it’s not that bad,” she said, calmly resting a hand on his shoulder.

“He tot’lly knows don’ he?” Remus mumbled through his hands.

Lily giggled, as she said, “I mean… yes. But that isn’t a bad thing. He totally feels the same.”

“You don’ know th’t,” Remus grumbled.

“Look if you keep being mopey here you’re gonna ruin my workflow,” Lily said.

“Good!” Remus finally looked up at her. “Take a break! Have a life!”

“Fine,” she said, finishing marking out her schedule for the weekend. “But you’re coming with me.”

“To where?” he demanded.

“Oh you’re helping me,” she commanded. “The ladies and I have a plan to get Marlene and Dorcas together.”

“They aren’t?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

“See!” Lily said, throwing her hands up in protest. “Next thing you know I’m gonna be askin’ the same thing of Peter about you two.”

“Don’ even joke ‘bout that,” Remus warned her, but he took her hand as she led him up to her dorm room, the stairway allowing him as he was accompanied by one of its residents.

Chapter Text

When Remus entered the room after Lily, he discovered Mary and Delilah sitting on the floor, Mary with a quill and some parchment, Delilah mumbling to herself as she read over what was already written. They acknowledged the two as they sat down, but waited for Mary to finish writing before offering their greetings.

“Where’s Peter?” Mary asked.

“At the lake,” Remus said. “Why’d’ya need him?”

“We can fill him in later,” Mary mused, returning to her scribbling.

“What…?” Remus asked, turning to the other two.

“Peter’s really good at cooking, Mary’s better at baking,” Lily explained. “What we want to do is make a picnic for Dorcas and Marlene.”

“Wait, you were serious?” Remus asked, a bit surprised.

“I’m offended you think I wasn’t!” Lily said, though she was clearly faking annoyance.

“Well, hang on,” Remus cut in, drawing their attention. “Whot confirmation do we even have th’t they like each other?”

Immediately, the three burst into laughter, leaving Remus feeling more bewildered and confused then before. He glanced around them, and it was clear they weren’t laughing at him to be mean about it, even though it certainly felt that way.

“Oh, Rem,” Mary said as she caught her breath. “It’s nothing personal. You’re just so oblivious.”

“Forgive me, ‘m a man,” Remus muttered, and this time they laughed with him.

“Marlene has told all of us countless times that she wants to be with Dorcas,” Delilah added. “Both are too afraid to act on it because they don’t want to ruin their friendship. Ironically, the two people who have no idea they’re in love are each other.”

“Remus thought they were already dating when I dragged him up here,” Lily informed the group.

“Case and point!” Mary exclaimed. 

“That’s why we’re doing this,” Lily said. “If they won’t do anything, we will.”

Remus nodded slowly, comprehending all that they were throwing at him. And the expectant way that Lily looked at him made him realize that they weren’t just talking about Marlene and Dorcas. Somehow, his and Sirius’ situation was different, exactly how, he just couldn’t place.

“Why do ya need me?” Remus posed, shifting the focus away from him.

“You and Lily are going to get Marlene,” Mary said. She set down her pen, and lifted up the parchment to be eye level with herself.

“Mary wrote out the whole plan,” Lily whisper-explained to Remus, who nodded, raising an eyebrow.

“Peter and Delilah will get Dorcas to go out to that small meadow in front of the forest tomorrow. Their ruse is that they need Dorcas’ help with collecting samples for Herbology,” Mary began. “You and Lily will bring Marlene to the same spot, claiming that you want to catch some field mice for your owls.

“Lene’s always up for some exploration and something to help the owls, so she’s definitely going to agree.”

“And Dorcas and I really do have an assignment to get some samples from outside Hogwarts,” Delilah added. “Our stories line up.”

“So long as they don’t talk to each other beforehand,” Remus said.

“Shit.” Lily threw up her hands in frustration.

“No, wait.” Mary held up her hand, checking over her notes. “Dorcas will be in class up until she meets Dels and Peter.”

“As long as she and Lene don’t talk alone at lunch, we should be good,” Lily exclaimed.

“I can help with th’t,” Remus quipped. “I’ll ask James to bugger ‘bout practice on Friday, maybe they can plan at lunch.”

“Good!” Mary said, marking it down on her paper.

“Can you review what we have?” Delilah asked.

“Yeah.” Mary nodded, scanning over the sheet once more. “When Lene gets back to the dorms, Lily, you ask if she’ll go with you and Remus tomorrow to get some treats for the owls. Delilah will leave after this meeting to go meet up with Dorcas like she planned originally, and ask then.

“Tonight, I’ll sneak out and Rem, you’ll make sure Peter does the same, and we’ll cook the food that I have planned out. We’ll pack it in a basket, and Peter’ll stash it in your room. You better not let Sirius eat all the food-”

“I won’,” Remus promised.

“Good. Then, tomorrow, after classes end, we’ll meet with them respectively, and take them out. I get out an hour earlier, so I’ll set up the picnic before-hand. I know how long the walk takes, so I’ll heat up the food with ten minutes to spare, then hide in the forest.

“Once you get them there, just stall until Dorcas arrives, and from there we can all kinda just… run. Sound good?” Mary anxiously scanned the group, praying that her plan would work.

“Sounds… dicey,” Lily answered honestly.

“It’ll work,” Remus answered confidently. 

“How can you be so sure?” Delilah asked.

“Cause I know some smart people who came up with’t,” he returned with a wink, laughing with them at the relieved tension in the room.

As they heard footsteps echo past their room, even if it wasn’t Marlene’s, they knew she’d be back any minute. Delilah and Remus sprinted out of the Common Room, to stumble onto Sirius, James, and Peter, returning from the lake.

Delilah elbowed Remus, giving him a smirk, before sprinting out of the Common Room to go meet up with Dorcas. Sirius shot Remus a glare, and he couldn’t quite place what exactly was upsetting him, but it was clearly something with how he’d been acting with Delilah. Jealous? was the first thought that flooded Remus’ mind, but he shoved aside. He couldn’t allow himself to be that arrogant.

“Hurry,” Remus muttered, ushering them up the stairs. “I have news.”

“Did… did you hook up with Delilah Akrlon?” James hissed at Remus as he sprinted up the stairs.

“Whot?!” Remus balked, pausing. “No!”

“I cannot tell if he is being serious,” Peter said.

“I-!” Remus groaned. “Get in the damn room.” He ushered them in, and slammed the door shut, throwing up a Locking and Silencing Charm as he did.

“Oh it’s juicy ,” James teased, as made his way over to change before flopping onto bed.

Silently, Sirius walked over to his dresser, aiming to do the same, before picking up the leftover sketch from a few nights before. He continued to work on it, refusing to look at Remus, clearly waiting for his response.

“I am not…” Remus paused, uncertain of how to communicate exactly what he meant. “I don’ like Delilah, hell she barely toler’tes me! Or any man!”

“Oh,” James said.

“I fear we knew that information,” Peter added.

“They wanted ma help with settin’ up Dorcas ‘n Marlene,” Remus explained.

“They aren’t dateeng alreadey?” Sirius asked, finally looking up at him. He seemed to relax, accepting Remus’ explanation.

“Th’t’s what I said!” Remus threw his hands up in exasperation. “Look, tonight, Pete, you an’ Mary are gon’ cook the food in th’ kitchen. Tomorrow, I’ll help ‘em sneak Marlene out to where th’ date spot is.”

“This ees juicy,” Sirius said, flashing a grin. “I see why we had to vait.”

“Is th’t what y’all think every time I’m with th’ girls?” Remus demanded, even though he picked up his book, sitting on the ledge of the windowsill once more.

“No, just what James thinks,” Peter said. “Horny animal.”

“‘E’s just jealoos that you get to spend time with them and ‘e doesn’t,” Sirius said, pressing down extra hard on the last few strokes as he spoke.

“Can I see?” Peter asked, walking over to Sirius. He nodded at the image, saying, “Looks good.”

“Merci,” Sirius murmured, continuing to smudge the coals across the paper, getting them all over his fingertips and forearms.

He was quite beautiful when he was creating, the artwork leaving as much of an impression on his body as he left it on the paper. Little did Sirius know, Remus kept almost every single one of his drawings that was left around or thrown out. They were all works of art in Remus’ eyes.

--

Black dregs of leftover tea leaves clung to the edges of Dorcas’ coffee cup as she swirled it around. Beside her, Elena was having no more progress with her own insights into what those leaves could be telling them about their lives, besides the fact that the tea was rather strong, hard to stomach, and worse to use.

Still, she pressed onwards, determined to figure out what that awkward cloud of shapes could resemble. After a moment, she saw it: there was a chance the tea had created the shape of a hawk, wings spread, soaring.

“El,” Dorcas whispered, elbowing her. “Does this look like a hawk to you?”

“Um…” Elena referenced the diagrams, before saying, “Yanno what, it really does!”

“Hm,” Dorcas muttered, pondering the different interpretations of the shape. “Professor Trelawney?”

“Yes, darling?” she asked, turning around and seeming to float over to her.

“I can’t figure out what the hawk means,” Dorcas said. She really, really hated Divination.

“Why let me see!” Trelawney took the cup from her hands, holding up a magnifying glass over her already thick-rimmed glasses. She was silent, peering into the cup, muttering every once in a while, even holding it to the light.

“What…” Dorcas trailed off, as Trelawney returned the cup to her.

“This hawk is the bringer of new love in your life!” Trelawney exclaimed. At this point, much of the class had turned to pay attention to what was happening. “A love that you’ve had for so long you don’t know what life is like without it! And it is coming! For you!”

Dorcas shrunk in her seat, covering her face with her hands as the rest of the room giggled. With a sharp word of criticism from Trelawney they were silent, but her humiliation was all too palpable. Thank god for going out into the meadow later, she could vent to Delilah and Peter about Trelawney’s insanity.

The end of the class couldn’t come soon enough, the moment it was over, Dorcas’ bags were backed, and she was waving goodbye to Elena, sprinting down the ladder and out the door of the tower. It was there she found Delilah and Peter waiting for her.

“Thank god ,” Dorcas said, “I barely packed anything for that class.”

“What’s in your bag then?” Peter asked.

“Stuff for sample collecting!” she answered, beaming. The pair exchanged a look she couldn’t quite place, but she brushed it off. “Where’re we going?”

“Remember?” Delilah asked. “We told you that little meadow outside of the forest, right on the edge.”

“Oh it’s lovely there,” Dorcas said, a bit wistful. “I found the most lovely sprigs of Dittany out there a few weeks ago, I do hope we can preserve some.”

“That’ll be helpful for the paper on different shallow wound remedies,” Peter mused. “I wonder if there’s any other applications I could look into.”

“I’m sure there is,” Dorcas said. “I could preserve the actual samples far, and you could look into their history of use.”

The discussion continued like that as they made their walk past the lake, towards the forest. As they traipsed along, they paused every once and awhile, observing the natural fauna, and overgrown grasses underfoot. Peter and Delilah purposefully tried to go a bit faster than normal, just to be sure the others wouldn’t have to stall Marlene for too long.

Lucky for them, Marlene was in a heated discussion over the possibilities of what they’d stumbled onto with Remus as they walked up. Dorcas shot Delilah a suspicious look, but followed them up to the site nonetheless.

--

Marlene was rather grateful for the time outdoors as she, Lily, and Remus made the walk out to the field where most of the mice had been burrowing. James had talked her ear off all lunch about different practice schedules - she asked him one time to get more involved, and this was his idea? It was a good opportunity to rant to Remus and Lily, and perhaps Remus would bring it up with James later.

It was all fun and games until the scent of her favorite cornbread floated into the air around her as they came closer and closer to the final location. She could see a picnic blanket, some dishes and plates set out, but they were completely untouched, and the area was devoid of all people.

“What..?” Marlene asked, kneeling before the spread, waving her hand over it. “It’s still warm!”

“Did someone leave it here?” Remus quickly jumped to play along, subtly waving a hand at Lily to get her to follow his lead.

Lily had planned to reveal to Marlene, but this plan gave them more time to vamp as they waited for Peter, Delilah, and Dorcas. Lucky for them, they could see them in the distance, and so long as Marlene was distracted, she wouldn’t catch on until Dorcas came over.

“Maybe a date that got abandoned?” she pondered.

“But this quickly?” Remus asked. “Plus… I feel like we’d hear them, would we not?”

“Silencing Charms do only work in contained spaces,” Lily murmured.

“Wait,” she paused, observing the food more closely. “That’s not just my favorite cornbread… and that’s Dorcas’ favorite pastries. And my favorite sandwich!”

“Amm…” Remus trailed off, looking to Lily for help.

“Oh what the hell,” but just as the words left her mouth, she saw that Dorcas was following Peter and Delilah up to where they were standing.

“Hi guys!” Peter said cheerfully. “Did we miss anything?”

“Peter!” Remus hissed, waving at him to shut up.

“What would you miss?” Marlene demanded.

“What the hell..?” Dorcas mumbled, taking in the scene. “Are those my favorite pear pastries?” she demanded.

“Yeah…” Delilah trailed off, looking around uncomfortably.

“Look,” Lily said, Peter, Remus, and Delilah walking over to stand beside her. Mary revealed herself, waving hello as she sprinted over. “You are not allowed to get mad at us. You needed someone else to do this because you two are too busy falling over yourselves to even notice that-”

“Lily, Lily,” Remus warned.

She blushed, murmuring, “Sorry. I just get so passionate about you two!”

“Look. You like each other,” Mary said, rather bluntly. “Have a date, take it from there.”

Dorcas and Marlene stared at each other silently, trying to process what the group was telling them. But before either could say anything, their friends were bidding them goodbye and good luck, sprinting away before either could get a word in.

The two were left alone, in a beautiful pastoral setting, the sun low in the sky before them, honey-dew colored drops of yellow decorating the food set out for them. Silently, the pair nodded, choosing to take a seat, and dive into the food, uncertain what to say to the other.

That was, until Marlene finally said, “I think Mary baked this.”

“I think Peter cooked this,” Dorcas returned.

“Where’d they find the time?” Marlene asked, allowing herself to smile through the awkwardness.

“I dunno,” Dorcas returned the awkward laughter.

They paused for a moment, to properly look at each other. Marlene was drinking in the beauty before her, the way the sunlight illuminated Dorcas’ dreads, the gold jewelry woven into it glittering with the rays. Her eyes were crisp and brown, dazzling, staring at her as though she was all that mattered in the world.

And that stupid septum ring, how it always pushed on her full upper lip, glinting with every flash of her smile, she was beautiful. She was everything.

“What’re you thinking about?” Dorcas’ question interrupted her thought.

“You’re everything,” Marlene blurted out, and them clapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry, I just-”

“Thank you,” Dorcas interrupted her, gently resting her hand over Marlene’s. “You’re too kind.”

“I…” Marlene trailed off, setting down her plate and putting her head in her hands. “God I’m bad at this.”

“Who said you had to be good?” Dorcas asked, allowing the laughter to bubble in her throat. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I um. I just don’t wanna screw it up, yanno?” Marlene said. So long as she kept talking, it would become natural. “We’re great as friends… I don’t wanna ruin what we already have.”

“We won’t,” Dorcas said. “Great friends make greater lovers.”

“Is that a quote?” Marlene asked.

“Everything is, if you think about it.”

“You always talk to me in riddles.”

“You answer in them.”

“I have no idea what the hell you’re saying right now.”

Dorcas laughed out loud, leaning back on her elbows, staring up at the sky. “Look.” She pointed up at a cloud. “A hawk.”

“That’s. That’s a cloud.” Marlene cocked an eyebrow at her, leaning back to see it from her point of view. “Ohhh, you mean the cloud looks like a hawk!”

“Trelawney said she saw one in my cup in Divination,” Dorcas commented.

“That loon?” Marlene asked.

“Ha. Yeah,” Dorcas sighed. “But she was right.”

“How so?”

“She said that I’ve had a love in my life for quite some time, and today’s the day I get to realize it,” Dorcas explained.

“Oh.”

“Yep.”

“Wait. You love me?”

“I mean, yeah.” Dorcas shrugged. “Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I dunno.” Marlene paused, turning to look at her. “We do say it all the time. But doesn’t… this make it different?”

“Only if you let it.” Dorcas turned to look at her. 

“I like you,” Marlene said, her voice soft, no louder than a whisper. 

“I like you,” Dorcas returned, reaching out and taking her hand. 

The two laid like that, watching the last rays of sunlight fade around their heads. They’d been talking and eating for far longer than either had realized, and before long, dusk was creeping upon them. Their hands still intertwined, studying the other’s face, looking for signs of hesitation, but only found butterflies.

It was Marlene who had the bravery to move closer first, just enough so that their noses were touching, and they could look at each other intently. Neither was speaking, instead listening to the muted hum of the grasshoppers around them, the loud belching of a frog nearby interrupting their thoughts every once and awhile. 

Dorcas moved first, letting go of Marlene’s hand, cupping her cheek. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes please,” Marlene mumbled, her hands already finding Marlene’s hips.

Dorcas pulled her close, both hands on either side of her face, gently pressing their lips together, hesitant at first. The moment that she kissed Marlene, she felt electricity crackle through her fingertips, and she wanted more .

Marlene’s hands found the small of her back, pulling her close as she deepened the kiss, brushing their lips together, gingerly tasting into her mouth, as though she were afraid to push. Dorcas, however, matched her, running her hands down Marlene’s neck, trailing their tongues together, the sensation pooling like heat in her gut.

Soon, the pair was tangled in each other, continuing to make out, with proper disregard for where they were or what time it was. All that mattered was the sensation of being together, finally letting the pent up feelings out. Dorcas’ hands were tangled in Marlene’s hair, as she pressed hot, opened mouthed kisses along her jaw and down her throat, listening to the soft, breathy gasps of joy and surprise bubbling from Marlene’s mouth. Marlene grabbed Dorcas’ head, pulling her back up, desperate for more, mumbling a soft “yes” into the kiss.

She wanted more, she needed more, and it would never be enough, as though Dorcas was a drug that she was being first introduced to. Even though she could taste their dinner on her tongue, she loved it, she loved the sensation, butterflies in her stomach and tingling all over her body. Never in her life had she felt this way before, and she desperately didn’t want it to stop.

“Lene,” Dorcas breathed out.

“Mm?” Marlene asked, but Dorcas captured her lips in another kiss.

It was hot, needy, their tongues moving in perfect harmony together, relishing in the feeling of Marlene against her lips, before she pulled back once more, catching her breath.

“We should probably get going,” she mumbled, kissing Marlene on the cheek.

“Do we have to?” Marlene complained.

Dorcas pulled back, grinning at her before saying, “I mean. If you wanna stay the night in the Forbidden Forest…”

“SHIT!” Marlene shot up, staring at the thick wilderness behind them. 

“Wolves?” Dorcas asked, and Marlene nodded meekly.

Instead of poking fun, Dorcas just laughed to herself, sitting up and helping Marlene package the food and blanket back into the basket. The two linked hands as they made their way back to the dorms, but not before straightening the other up, making sure they were presentable.

A bit of Marlene’s lipgloss was stuck to Dorcas’ lips, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. They bumped shoulders as they arrived outside of the Slytherin Common Room, knowing there they couldn’t share a kiss goodbye. But as Marlene walked away, she stopped, turning, and sprinted back, grabbing Dorcas’ face, and kissing her quickly.

“Lene!” Dorcas hissed.

“Let them see,” she whispered. Marlene kissed her quickly once more, and before Dorcas could process, she was running off, waving goodbye, promising to make plans to see her later.

As Dorcas entered into the Common Room, she couldn’t help but smile to herself, finding bits of the lipgloss stuck on her cheeks, bits of Marlene wherever she went, and wherever she looked.