Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

That night at dinner, Sirius watched his brother intently across the dining hall. He was sitting at the Slytherin table again with Narcissa, nodding at whatever she was chatting about. To anyone else, it would seem as if Regulus was perfectly fine, but Sirius could tell his brother was troubled – his shoulders were tense, he picked at his food more than he actually took a bite, and his eyes skittered over to the Ravenclaw table every few minutes. Despite Regulus’s claims that he was perfectly unbothered by the turn of events regarding his mates, it was quite apparent that Regulus was, in fact, bothered.

“How long do you think this is gonna go on for?” Sirius asked irritably. He stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork, keeping his eyes on his brother.

“What, the Regulus thing?” Peter asked, turning to look at the Slytherin table. He frowned. “You’d know better than us, mate.”

“Why is he sitting with the Slyterins, anyway? Wouldn’t he rather sit with us?” James asked through a mouthful of food.

“Well, if he’s avoiding his mates because they’re blood traitors and halfbloods, sitting with us would sort of defeat the purpose,” Sirius said pointedly.

“Ah. Right.” James frowned. “And your mother would really be that mad? About him sitting with bloodtraitors?”

“Yes, James,” Sirius said, exasperated.

James furrowed his brow thoughtfully. “Maybe you could convince her that it’s really not a big deal who you guys sit with. The whole blood purity thing is stupid anyway. I overheard Lily saying–”

“Who’s Lily?” Sirius cut in, frowning.

James’s cheeks turned pink at the question, but before Sirius could comment on it, Peter answered, “She’s top of our year, Sirius. How do you not know her?”

Sirius frowned. “I thought Lupin was top of our year.”

“I mean, they’re practically tied, but I think Lily is a bit ahead in potions.”

“The point is,” James interjected, “I heard her saying something about genetics the other day, how muggles…” James furrowed his brow. “Well, I don’t exactly remember how she put it, but it was basically, um…”

“Every person has the genes for magic, but the phenotype doesn’t show in muggles because those genes aren’t turned on,” Peter supplied. “In other words, wizards and muggleborns are fundamentally the same, it’s just less likely that the genes for magical ability are activated in muggles. Also – there’s no evidence that blood status influences how magically gifted you are. It’s more about how powerful your parents were – pureblooded or not – and how much you understand magic.”

James stared at Peter, eyes wide. “That’s exactly what Lily said! How’d you know?”

Peter shrugged. “I study with her group in the library sometimes. Since you two have major procrastination issues and never want to join me.”

James looked begrudging at this information, and Sirius narrowed his eyes. But then his expression cleared and he perked up. “Anyway– what Peter said. Why don’t you just tell your mother that, Sirius? Surely science will convince her that magic and non-magic people are equals.”

“It won’t, okay?” Sirius snapped. “Especially if this research is done using muggle techniques.”

Peter said hesitatingly, “It’s not all muggle techniques–”

“It won’t matter,” Sirius persisted. “Nothing will change her mind. And trying to persuade her otherwise will just make her even angrier, and she’ll–”

Sirius cut himself off.

James seemed nonplused, but Peter had on a look Sirius couldn’t quite interpret. “She’ll what, Sirius?”

“She’ll just be in a bad mood all summer, is all,” Sirius made himself finish. Peter looked unconvinced, an expression he wore lately whenever Sirius skirted around Walburga’s cruel tendencies. He couldn’t stand it.

Sirius stood up suddenly. “I’m going back to our room.”

James straighted. “Oh, we’ll come with you, I’m almost done ea–”

Sirius was already picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “Nah, you finish. I think I’m gonna go straight to bed anyway.”

James frowned and looked like he was about to argue. Sirius quickly hurried away before he got the chance. He glanced at the Slytherin table on his way past, but Regulus’s seat was empty. Sirius hadn’t even noticed him leaving.

Their argument earlier that day came back to Sirius as he walked towards Gryffindor Tower. Did Regulus really start avoiding his mates to lighten Sirius’s punishment? Was that the reason Regulus usually let Walburga walk all over him – so that Sirius wouldn’t be blamed for his “attitude” rubbing off on Regulus?

He was so distracted by his thoughts he didn’t notice he was being followed until he was roughly shoved by the side into a door.

A throb of pain shot through his shoulder. Scowling, Sirius looked up at his attackers – Snape and Crouch. Of course.

“Is that the best you can do?” Sirius asked conversationally, making a show of straightening his robes. “Shove me into a door?”

Snape grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and shoved him against the door. “We’re not finished yet,” he sneered in Sirius’s face. He lifted his hand, and Sirius braced himself—

But instead of punching him, Snape merely reached for the door handle. Sirius barely had time to process Snape’s intention before the door opened behind his back and Snape was shoving him inside.

Tripping over his feet, Sirius hit the wall hard enough that it knocked the breath out of him. Reacting on instinct, Sirius lurched towards the door, because no, no no no, surely they didn’t mean to—

The door slammed shut in his face. 

He tried the handle just as the click of the lock sounded.

“Fuck,” Sirius hissed, fumbling for his wand. He tapped the doorknob. “Alohomora,” he said.

He tried the handle. Locked.

Sirius felt his heart trip. Why didn’t it work?

“Let me out you insufferable gits!” Sirius yelled, pounding on the door. 

Outside the door, he could hear the muffled laughter of the two Slytherins. “Now, why would we do that?” he heard Crouch say. “I think Hogwarts could use a break from you’re insufferable yammering, don’t you think, Sev?”

“I do not yammer,” Sirius shouted. James was the one who did the yammering, thank you very much.

They ignored him. “I think so too, Barty. Maybe he’ll starve in there, and then his ugly face won't have to ruin my meals ever again.”

“You know I’m not ugly, you ponce!” Sirius snapped. His breathing was starting to pick up. “Let me out! This is too far!”

“Too far?” Snape asked, mock sincerity dripping from his tone. “Don’t be so dramatic, Black. You’re just stuck in a closet for a bit. I’m sure one of your pesky Gryffindors will rescue you eventually.”

He was evil. Utterly evil. Diabolical, despicable, heinous—

Sirius heard their laughter getting quieter. They must be walking away, they were really going to leave him there—

He pounded on the door, harder this time. “LET ME OUT, GODDAMMIT!” He shouted as loudly as he could.

No one answered.

He whipped out his wand again, fingers trembling as he tapped it against the knob. “Alohomora,” he whispered desperately.

Nothing happened.

He threw his wand against the wall and ran frantic hands through his hair. Snape must’ve cast the Anti-Alohomora charm on it. He wracked his brain for another unlocking spell, but he couldn’t think of any. Was there even anything else? He had no idea. He was only a second year, for fuck’s sake.

Giving up, Sirius decided the only way out of this mess was brute force. Backing up a bit – not that there was much space, the room was even smaller than the storage room at Grimmauld Place – Sirius threw his shoulder into the door.

It didn’t so much as creak.

Again and again, Sirius threw himself at the door, but all he succeeded in doing was bruising his shoulder. 

He was trapped.

That was when the panic truly started to set in. Sirius slid down the wall until he hit the floor. His breath was coming out far too fast and shallow, but he didn’t know how to stop. His chest felt tight. It was too hot in the tiny room. It was so dark he couldn’t see where his wand had gone, and then his thoughts were running away from him—

Suddenly, he was at Grimmauld Place again, cowering in the corner of that sodding storage room, his stomach twisting with hunger and his throat dry and horse and his body throbbing as blood tricked down his back and the darkness was closing in on him, so thick it was going to swallow him whole, wipe him off the face of the earth, and there was a tightness binding his lungs and he couldn’t breathe—

He wrapped his arms around his knees and rocked himself. Calm down, he told himself frantically, trying to gather up his spiralling thoughts. This is just like any other time you’ve been locked up. You’ve always been let out eventually, so you’ll be let out this time too. You’ll be let out, you’ll be let out, you’ll be let out…

He was half sobbing by the time he heard a voice.

“Sirius?”

Sirius snapped his head up, then scrambled to his feet. “Yes! Yes, I’m trapped! Snape shoved me in here, and Alohomora isn’t working!”

A wave of dizziness hit him from standing up too fast, and he stumbled against the door.

“Okay, um… did you hear what he said when he locked you in?” said the voice.

Sirius tried to even out his erratic breathing. “N-no…”

“Alright, okay… um… I’m just going to try a few spells and see if anything will work.”

The voice started murmuring words Sirius couldn't quite make out. He tried to keep his panic under control while he waited, tried to think rational thoughts. It was fine. Even if the student couldn’t figure out the spell to unlock the door themselves, they could always grab a teacher. It was going to be fine.

Finally, something must’ve worked, because a faint click sounded. Sirius's breath hitched, and he shoved open the door and stumbled into the hallway. He was free.

He slumped against the wall beside the door, closing his eyes and taking a shaky breath in. “Merlin, you're an angel, I can’t thank you enough. That was awful. How–”

Sirius opened his eyes and found Lupin standing in front of him, regarding him cautiously.

Sirius immediately scowled. “Lupin?”

Lupin crossed his arms. “Yes, and you’re lucky I found you.” His brow furrowed. “Are you… alright?”

Belatedly, Sirius realised he probably looked a right mess – his hair was sweaty and tangled, and his face felt hot; likely a blotchy red. He could feel dried tear tracks on his face.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, he snapped, “I’m fine. Just don’t fancy being cramped up in a fucking closet, is all. How’d you find me, anyway?”

Lupin hesitated. He almost looked concerned.

Sirius deepened his scowl. “Well?”

Lupin huffed and shook his head. “I bumped into James and Petter on my way back from the library. They asked if I’d seen you because you weren’t in your room, and I said I hadn’t, and then, uh…” He scratched his arm. “Well, I started heading back to my room after that, and I guess I happened to walk down the right hallway because I passed by this door and… sort of heard you crying.”

Sirius felt his cheeks heat. He crossed his arms. “I wasn’t crying.”

“Oh.” Lupin eyed him suspiciously.

Averting his gaze, Sirius pushed himself off the wall. “Right, well. Thanks for your help, Lupin, but I best be on my way now. Curfew, and all that.”

“Right.” Lupin rolled his eyes. “Wouldn’t want to add to your collection of detentions.”

“Exactly,” Sirius said primly. He shoved his hands in his pockets and left, trying not to feel as though Lupin saw more than he should.

Sirius had just finished muttering the password to the common room when James and Peter turned the corner from down the hall.

“There you are!” James exclaimed, bounding up to Sirius as the portrait swung open. “Where were you, mate?”

Sirius stepped into the common room, James and Peter on his heels. “Snivellous locked me in a fucking closet.”

Peter let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like an aborted laugh. Sirius turned and glared at him. “It’s not funny, Peter!”

James’s lips twitched. “It’s a bit funny.”

Huffing, Sirius turned and continued his way up the stairs to their room. “You lot are horrible mates. What if no one had found me?!”

“Who did find you?” James asked curiously.

“Lupin,” Sirius grumbled. He pushed the door to their room open and collapsed face-first onto his bed.

“Oh, right, we bumped into him while we were trying to find you.”

“So he mentioned,” Sirius muttered into the bedsheets, then sat up. “We need to get revenge on Snape.”

Peter rolled his eyes, and James’s eyes lit up. “Yes! It’s about time for a little excitement around here.”

“It’s only been five days since we’ve been back,” Peter pointed out.

“Exactly! That’s ages,” James argued, his face serious.

Peter sighed. “Fine. What are we going to do?”

Sirius leaned back on his hands and tilted his head, thinking. He felt a slow smile spread across his face as an idea took shape in his mind. “Slug Club is coming up in a couple of weeks, isn’t it?”