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Chapter Text

XOXO

John Laurens was patient. He prided himself on that. He had waited patiently to tell his father to kindly 'fuck off' and move out. He had been patient while he scrolled through hundreds of online dating profiles when he first moved to New York. And he had patiently waited for the man he only knew as 'A. Ham' who was handsome and wore really nice suits in all of his pictures and who's eyes crinkled a little in the corners when he smiled, to ask him out on a real date. So sitting in the coffee shop they had agreed on and waiting for him was easy.

Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette was more than punctual. If he wasn't at least five minutes early for something, he considered himself late, and he appreciated when other were on time as well, though he could tolerate a little lateness. Ten minutes tops. He understood that traffic in New York was crazy. Okay, in this case he was pretty sure he could wait forever. He didn't go on many dates and he usually wouldn't let a friend set him up on one but Adrienne had insisted. Apparently this man, Mulligan, was one of the best tailors in New York and was Lafayette's type. Tall, built, great smile. So Lafayette stood in line at the little coffee shop on the corner of 3rd behind a nervous looking young man with his curly hair pulled up into a ponytail and a whole galaxy of freckles across his nose and cheeks, he ordered his coffee, sat down a couple tables away, and the barista called his name at three o'clock on the dot.

John sipped his coffee slowly, trying to focus on the game he was playing on his phone and not the minutes ticking away. It was ten after three already. They had agreed on three hadn't they? He went to check the messages on his profile to double check the time or see if 'A' had canceled on him last minute. Yup. Three o'clock, coffee shop on the corner of 3rd. He had signed the last message as 'Alex', but hadn't given John his number or another way to get a hold of him. Shit...

John started tapping his foot nervously. Quarter after.

'He's probably stuck in traffic. Calm down. He'll be here.' He scolded himself. He noticed a man around his age a couple tables over checking his watch every few minutes and glancing at the door, his scowl growing each time.

By three thirty, John had finished most of his coffee and what little was left was just cold enough to be unpleasant. He watched the guy a few tables away while he debated getting another cup. He looked as pissed as John was starting to feel, glaring at his phone and jabbing at the screen, typing out, what one could only assume, was a very angry text.

“I'll take another large coffee, two cream, two sugars and one of whatever that gentleman sitting in the corner table had.” He smiled over the counter at the barista who scribbled his name on two cups with a smile of her own and went about making the drinks, making small talk about how nice the weather was and how she couldn't wait for her shift to be over so she could go out and get some sun. While he waited, he kept glancing at the other table to make sure he hadn't left. He paid and took both cups, saying a quick 'thank you' before going over and setting the cup with the star drawn on it in front of the stranger.

“Waiting for someone?” He asked, cradling his own coffee in both of his hands and smiling sympathetically when he looked up, surprised.

“I was.” He sighed, his voice carrying a thick French accent. “But he's half an hour late now.” He rolled his eyes and took a sip of the coffee John had set in front of him.

“Same. May I?” John put a hand on the back of the other chair at the table.

“Please.”

“Thank you. I'm John by the way. John Laurens.”

“It's a pleasure John. My name is a mouthful, and I will spare you that much. Please, call me Lafayette. So, who were you waiting for?” He asked, leaning forward casually. John sighed.

“I uh... it's kinda silly actually, I had a date with this guy that I met online and he just never showed... Eh, c'est la vie, right?” He laughed a little nervously. “What about you?”

“I think we were destined to meet today John Laurens.” Lafayette laughed. John couldn't help thinking that his smile lit up the entire shop. “I got stood up too. A friend set me up on a blind date with this tailor, I think she said his name was Mulligan?”

“Hercules? I go to his shop sometimes. I know him a little. I'll give him a piece of my mind next time I go in. He'll kick himself for not showing up when I tell him about you.” John grinned.

“And what about your mystery man? What's he like?”

“His name's Alex. His last name starts with an 'H' I think. He writes like there's no tomorrow.”

“Oh my god. Non. Alexander Hamilton?”

“That might be it. His screen name is 'A. Ham'” John pulled up the profile, showed Lafayette the picture and he burst out laughing.

“Oh my god! I work with him! Come here.” He motioned for John to pull his chair over to the other side of the table and pulled Snapchat open on his phone, snapping a photo of them and adding the caption 'vous merdé con' to it before sending it, still laughing. “He's been talking about this for a week! I can't believe he missed this!”

“Really?”

“Yeah. The poor fool probably crashed from all the sugar he pumps into his veins. Well you know what they say, 'you snooze, you loose', non?” Lafayette grinned. “Would you care to go on a date with me this afternoon, John Laurens?”

“I would love that.” John smiled back.

…

“So tell me about yourself.” John prompted as he walked down the sidewalk arm-in-arm with his unexpected date.

“I grew up in France, came here when I was twenty to go to University. And now I'm a lawyer over the Washington and King firm.”

“Impressive.” John hummed.

“And what do you do?”

“I run an animal rescue upstate.” His freckles disappeared under a dark blush. “Just a parcel of land that I inherited from my father. He didn't want me to get involved in any sort of activism, he wanted me to be a doctor, so I became a vet and opened an animal shelter. He was pissed, but he's dead so I don't really give a fuck.” John paused. “I'm sorry, I'm rambling.”

“No, no not at all.” Lafayette patted his hand and smiled. “I think it's wonderful. I'd like to come visit it some time.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I love animals.” Lafayette's phone started ringing in his pocket. “Excuse me for a moment.” He grinned and pulled out his phone, not even needing to look at the caller ID, but John caught a glimpse of the contact picture- Alex with a towel around his waist and a toothbrush in his mouth, flipping off the camera. “Hello?”

“Laf! Ce que le baiser!?” John laughed, hearing him yell over the line.

“Alexandre! Bonjour! Comment vas-tu mon amour? Avoir un bon jour, je l'espère?” Lafayette leaned against the wall of a building with an easy smile while Alex kept talking. John pick up a few words here and there but it was muffled. “Oui, je suis toujours avec lui. Voulez-vous dire quelque chose?” John looked up when Lafayette nudged him. “Est-ce que vous parlez français, John?”

“Oui?”

“Good, because he's worked up and will probably babble in French.”

“Oh shut up Gil!” Came Alex's muffled voice over the phone. “Please let me talk to him.”

“Alex?” John took the phone from Lafayette.

“John.” Alex breathed. “My god, John I am so sorry. My boss called me in to help him with this case and I totally forgot about our date until about five minutes ago when I saw Lafayette's Snap. I am so, so sorry.”

“Alex, it's okay.” John smiled. “I understand. I'm not mad at you.”

“You're not?”

“Nah. Shit happens. I totally get that.”

“Oh my god, thank you. Hey- let me make it up to you. I'm leaving the office now, maybe we can meet up and grab some dinner?”

“Actually...” John glanced over at Lafayette who was looking into a shop window a couple doors down. “Um, actually Lafayette and I are kinda out on a date. He got stood up too- not to say that you stood me up on purpose of course- so we're bonding a little, but maybe Friday evening?” Alex breathed a sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

“Okay. Alright, that sounds great. Thanks again for understanding John. It means the world to me. I can't wait to meet you.”

“I can't wait to meet you either, Alex.” He blushed when Lafayette elbowed him in the side. They said their goodbyes and John handed the phone back to Lafayette.

“So did you two love birds make up?” He teased, linking arms with John again.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “He wanted to meet up tonight but I told him I was on a date with you.” He hoped he wasn't being too bold by laying his head on Lafayette's shoulder, but his boldness was rewarded with Laf moving to hold his hand, giving it a little squeeze.

“You're sweet John. If Alex's fucks up again just let me know and I would be more than happy to date you.”

“I would be delighted.” John laughed. “What did you have in mind tonight?”

“Netflix and Chill?” Lafayette teased, John slapped him on the arm playfully. “No? Alright then. Dinner and a movie? Forgive me for being cliché.”

“No more cliché than meeting someone at a coffee house for a first date.” John snorted.

“True. So where would you like to go?”

…

Dinner was lovely. A small place, out of the way and owned by a nice old Greek couple. John couldn't stop smiling. He considered calling Alex (Lafayette had given him his phone number) and calling off the date and just going out with Lafayette but he wanted to give the guy a chance. Plus, whenever they talked online, then the one time over the phone John's stomach did flips and his heart raced at the thought of just being in the same room as Alex. But Lafayette was having the same effect on him. His stomach was full of butterflies and he was having more fun than he had had in a long time.

“What kind of animals do you keep up at the rescue?” Lafayette asked, picking at the last bits of food on his plate.

“Small stuff. Mostly cats and dogs that we've found abandoned. There are a few deer that we raised. Found most of them on the side of the road after their mother's had been hit. One had an arrow through her shoulder.”

“Poor thing...”

“We've got a little family of raccoons, a couple foxes and some turtles, too. Those are my favorite.” John smiled.

“That all sounds wonderful. You're doing a great thing.” Lafayette reached across the table to hold John's hand and he smiled.

They paid the bill and John hailed a cab when they got outside. He found himself flirting all the way to the movie theater, laughing maybe a little more than was necessary, and putting his hand on Lafayette's knee whenever he got a chance. His impromptu date didn't seem to mind though and even put an arm around his shoulders and shared a soda with him at the movies.

Both were laughing when they left the theater, arms linked, hips bumping together.

“Would you like me to call you a cab home?” Lafayette asked.

“Nah. I don't live too far from here, if you wouldn't mind walking me home?”

“Not at all. It would be a pleasure.” John asked more about Lafayette's childhood in France and told him about his own strict upbringing in South Carolina with his political father who, after his mother passed, had run the house like a military compound.

“Well your father sounds like a real piece of work John.” Lafayette frowned. “Horrible if you ask me.” John shrugged.

“He had a heart attack and died two years ago. I wasn't too upset about it.” He stopped short. “This is me.” He pointed at the brownstone he had stopped in front of and Lafayette walked him up the front steps. He felt like a teenager again, standing out on the stoop, holding hands with his date and looking down at his feet nervously. “I uh... I had a really great time tonight Lafayette.” He smiled and blushed a little.

“So did I.” Lafayette smiled back. “And I meant what I said before. I would date you in a heartbeat. You're lovely.”

“Thank you. So I guess, I'll give you a call sometime.” John looked up at Lafayette, who was about a head taller than him, for a moment before leaning up to kiss him on the cheek, turning away quickly to fumble with the lock to his door.

“John.” Lafayette called when John was a step into the door. He turned and before he could say anything, Lafayette's hands were on either side of his face and his lips were on his. After the initial shock had worn off, John wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck and kissed him back slowly.

“Wow...” He whispered when they pulled apart, noses still brushing, breath mingling between them. “That was...”

“Ne parle pas...” Lafayette whispered back, kissing him again, running his fingers through his hair softly, pressing in closer, his other hand on his waist. A car honked from the street and Lafayette pulled away, smiling a little. “That's my ride.” John figured he had ordered an Uber while he was trying to unlock his door. “I had a wonderful night.”

“Me too. Text me when you get home, okay?” John smiled, leaning up to press one more kiss to his lips.

“Will do. Goodnight, John.”

“Goodnight, Lafayette.” John didn't go into his house until he saw the car turn the corner down the block and he leaned against the door once he had closed and locked the door.

“Oh John... You fucked up buddy.” He sighed to himself, rubbing his eyes. “You fucked up big time...”

XOXO

Chapter Text

XOXO

John stood nervously in front of his mirror, trying to tame his hair and failing. Some days he thought of cutting it all off, but all of his friends told him it looked good so he settled with fighting it everyday, especially after Lafayette had commented on how much he liked it. He straightened his shirt and gave himself one last glance in the mirror before grabbing his jacket, saying goodbye to his two turtles in their tank and locking the door behind him, and hailing a cab from the curb. He was dressed nicer than he was the other day and even though Alexander had promised him a nice dinner, he couldn't help feeling overdressed. His suit wasn't anything special, just something he used to wear when his father needed him to look presentable, it was starting to get a little loose around the shoulders and waist since he had started working out more, but he could have that fixed pretty easily. He grinned to himself and pulled out his phone to text Lafayette.

To French Affair: wyd
From French Affair: At Mulligan's again. He's cooking for me!!
To French Affair: Tell him your side hoe needs his suit refitted
From French Affair: He says 'tell the side hoe that I'm free on Monday'. Also he choked on his wine. Well done mon amour
To French Affair: Thanks Laf

John smiled at his phone but guilt rolled in the pit of his stomach. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Lafayette and their kiss all week and he felt horrible about it. He and Alexander had a connection that had only grown stronger in the last week, texting non-stop and having at least one phone call a day, usually right before bed. But he found himself gravitating towards Lafayette as well. In the week they had known each other they had already gotten to know everything about each other. John knew about Lafayette's hatred of green olives, something he had kept to himself for reasons unknown and Lafayette knew about John's ill-fated attempts at dating a few girls in high school to appease his father, something he hadn't even told Alex about yet. Both men lit a fire in John's belly and it was impossible to not think about them. He sighed as the cab pulled up to the restaurant and paid the driver. His breath caught in his throat when he saw Alex standing outside wringing his hands nervously, his dark suit fitted to him perfectly, and his hair tied up in a bun.

“Alexander?” He called out. Alex whipped around, his eyes lighting up when he saw John.

“John!” He rushed over and took John's hands in his own, his smile brighter than the sun. “I'm so sorry about the other day. I'm usually much better at keeping track of my schedule than that. There's just a huge case going on right now and-” He broke off when John leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

“Alex.” He laughed. “It's fine. I totally understand.” Alexander blushed a little and just stared at him. “Hot shot lawyer like you must have tons of stuff going on.”

“And what about you Mr. Life Saver? How do you make time to see a scrub like me?” Alex teased back. John gave him a good natured nudge with his shoulder and took his hand as they walked in.

“I mostly deal with the paper work side of things.” He shrugged.

“But still. You save lives John.” Alex's smile lit up the dark restaurant. “Two under 'Hamilton'.” He told the greeter, who had them seated right away.

“So tell me about this case. Lafayette said it was a pretty big deal but he wasn't working on it so he didn't know a lot of the specifics.” John leaned over his menu a bit after Alex ordered a bottle of wine. He sighed.

“It's all a cluster fuck right now really.” He fiddled with a stray strand of hair. “This guy, Charles Lee, he's been in trouble before but we've never been able to nail him with anything substantial because there was never enough evidence.” He pushed his hands back through his hair and John stared. Damn was he hot when he was frustrated. “And he's a total prick. Like he knows there's nothing we can do.”

“I'm sorry...” John reached across the table to touch Alex's arm gently and smiled at him. “He sounds like a real douche.”

“He is.” Alexander moved to hold John's hand and smiled a little. “Do you have any pictures of the animals at the rescue?”

“Oh yeah!” John slid into the other booth to sit next to him and pulled his phone out. He pulled up the album devoted to his animals on Facebook and scrolled through it, telling Alexander the names and stories of each animal excitedly. “And that's Jasper and Amber.” He smiled, pointing at a picture of two cats, a large long-haired black cat and a smaller short-haired brown tabby curled up together. “My sister Martha brought them up a couple years ago and they've been glued together at the hip the whole time.” He paused and looked over at Alexander who had stopped looking at the phone in favor of watching him talk, his gaze soft and a fond smile on his face. “What are you looking at?”

“You. Your face lights up when you talk about your animals. It's so much better than just reading your messages.” He laughed. “You're passionate about them.” John felt a blush creeping up his neck and over his cheeks.

“I love what I do. And I love all of the animals that come to the rescue. You should come visit. You would love the dogs and I'm sure they would love you too.” He pushed his hair out of his face. “We could make a weekend out of it.” He suggested. “Me, you, Lafayette and Hercules.” He bit his tongue after adding Lafayette to the mix, nervous that Alex would take offense, but he just grinned like a kid in a candy store.

“That would be great! I'm sure he told you already, but Laf loves animals too. If you adopt any of them out, he'll probably end up taking a couple cats home with him.”

“Actually that would be perfect. We're starting to get a little low on space.”

John ended up staying on that side of the table with Alexander for the rest of the evening, their knees and shoulders brushing as they talked and ate, each trying to steal bites from the other's plate and getting playful slaps for it.

They talked about politics, their jobs, John talked at length about his childhood but Alexander was strangely quiet about his, just shrugging whenever he was asked a question. The only thing he answered was that he was from St. Croix in Nevis and that he had moved to Washington Heights when he was fourteen. He didn't say why though, and curious as he was, John didn't press him for anymore information.

When he spoke, Alex was loud and animated, sweeping his hands through every story he told. John couldn't take his eyes off of him. It was a thing of beauty watching Alexander Hamilton speak and John could only imagine what he was like in court. His eyes would probably be all fire and his voice would rise and fall dramatically to get his point across. Of course those thoughts led John to thoughts about what he would be like in bed.

'Oh no.' He thought, shifting in his seat a little, hoping Alex didn't notice. 'He would probably want to be loud. He would bite the pillows... Even through that I'd be able to hear him. Or he would growl and pin me down and-'

“John?” He jumped. “You okay?” Alex was watching him carefully.

“Oh. Yeah. I'm good.” He looked down at his plate, trying to force his blush back. He tried to think of anything but getting in a cab with Alex, going home with him, kissing him, leading him to his bedroom- “I'll be right back.” He stood a little too quickly, jostling the table a little and Alex lurched forward to grab their wine glasses.

“John what-” He started, but John was half way to the bathroom and didn't hear the end of his question.

He pushed though the door and leaned against the counter, staring down into the sink.

“Stop it John. Stop. You just met the guy for the first time. You've only been talking to him for two months. You do not need to be imagining him in your bed.” He didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until the door to the bathroom creaked open and he stood up straighter, turning on the faucet and putting his hands under the water, trying to act casual.

“John?”

“Alex!” He jumped and turned to face the door. “Sorry I just-”

“You're regretting this aren't you?” Alex looked down at his feet. “I'm sorry, I tend to talk too much when I'm nervous... I probably scared you off.”

“No, no it's nothing like that, I promise.” John wiped his hands on his pants and took a step closer to Alex. “I'm nervous too. I mean, I've been talking myself up for months and I was afraid I wasn't going to live up to your expectations.”

'And for the last half hour I've been imagining you fucking me into my mattress.' He added to himself before continuing.

“I just... You're so wonderful and I just want you to like me and oh my god I sound like a high schooler. I'm sorry.” John laughed nervously and Alex smiled.

“I do like you John. A lot.” He took a step forward. “You're so perfect. I mean, look at you! You're gorgeous! And you're smart, kind, you help animals. You're like the perfect package.” He took John's hand and smiled.

“Alexander I-” John stopped his sentence where it was and leaned in to kiss Alex. It was a little too fast, they came together a little too hard, it was mostly a clash of teeth at first, but Alex reciprocated, grabbing John's arm, pulling him in closer and turning him around to press him up against the door, licking into his mouth and groaning. John gasped into the kiss, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Alex's hair, pressing his hips up and biting at his lip.

“I'm sorry.” Alexander gasped and pulled away, he couldn't get far with John's hand at the back of his neck. “I didn't want our first kiss to be in a public bathroom.”

“Shut up and do it again.” John demanded, bringing their lips together again, drawing a moan out of his... shit what was Alex? Was he his boyfriend? Had they decided on any labels? Was this just going to be a one night stand? He didn't care. He had been dreaming about kissing Alexander for months and here they were, and he was making him moan. It wasn't exactly the ideal location but it was perfect, and it was searing the somehow still lingering taste of Lafayette out of his mouth.

“John, we should get back out there before they think we dipped out on our check.” Alex was out of breath, his lips still brushing John's, words going a mile a minute. “We don't even have to stay. We can get boxes.”

“No, no it's fine. We can finish dinner. I'm, ah, I'm sorry I jumped you like that.” John laughed, looking down.

“I am very okay with this.” Alex gave John one more quick peck on the lips and pulled him away from the door, leaving with a smile. John took a moment, leaning against the wall with a dumb grin on his face. He had taken a chance and man oh man had it payed off.

He followed a minute later, after splashing some water on his face and feeling incredibly cliché when he sat back down, across from Alex again.

“So did you gentlemen save any room for desert?” The overly chipper waitress asked, pen poised over her note pad.

“I think we'll take it to go if you don't mind.” Alexander smiled up at her before John could even open his mouth and his stomach flipped.

The cab ride to his house was much different than the cab ride he had taken with Lafayette. There was a different tension here. The ride with Lafayette had been harmless flirting, but this. This was leading somewhere and John was very aware of that when he put a hand on Alex's knee and slid his hand up his thigh and when Alex buried his face into his neck, chuckling softly and pressing kisses on the sensitive skin behind his ear.

“You're so pretty John.”

“You're so drunk Alexander.” John countered, squeezing his knee.

“Nah. We barely had one bottle of wine between the two of us.” Alex laughed. “I'm right though. You're so pretty. Your hair is perfect, your freckles- My god John your freckles are their own galaxy. I could spend hours counting them. And actually, I fully intend to.” He kissed a freckle on his jaw, the only one he could see clearly in the dark of the cab.

There was a beat of silence as the cab pulled down John's street. He looked out the window and cleared his throat nervously.

“Do you... Do you wanna come in for a drink?” He asked, looking back over at Alex who smiled.

“Sounds perfect.” John paid for the cab, Alex had insisted on paying for dinner so he felt like it was only fair. “You have a lovely home John.”

“We haven't even gotten up the steps yet.” John rolled his eyes, but gave Alex a good-natured smile over his shoulder, holding his hand as they came up to the door.

“But it looks nice from the steps.” While John unlocked the door, Alex pressed up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing little kisses into his neck. He whispered something in French but John didn't catch it over the sound of blood rushing in his ears. Once he had opened the door, John wasted no time pulling Alexander in and pinning him to the wall, pushing the door shut and kissing him again. It wasn't as hurried this time. He was in his own home now, not the bathroom at one of the nicest restaurants in New York and there was no one to walk in on them. Alex's grip on his waist tightened and he was pulled in closer.

“John...” His name was whispered in between kisses like a prayer. “Fuck... You're perfect. So damn perfect.” Alex nipped his lip. “I'm so glad you gave me a second chance. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this.”

“I'm glad I did too.”John dropped his head onto Alexander's shoulder and moaned softly when his hands wandered up and down his up and down his sides. “Has anyone ever told you that you kiss like you write?”

“How do you mean?”

“You don't pause.” He explained. “You dive right in and don't stop until everyone involved is breathless and astounded.” Alex smiled and ran his fingers through John's hair as he spoke.

“You have quite a way with words John Laurens.” He laughed.

“I've got nothing on you though.” John leaned up to press another kiss to Alex's lips and was rewarded with a low moan and a gentle tug on his hair. “Fuck...” He whispered, pulling away for a moment before pressing up closer, drawing out more moans and whispered praises.

“So good John...” Alex took control then, pushing John back and backing him into the living room. “I could kiss you for hours.”

“Then why don't you?” John teased, tugging Alex down to the couch, laying back and pulling his boyfriend over him (he didn't know if this thing with Alexander would continue but is was nice to pretend that it would for an evening).

'Good job John. Great plan.' He thought while Alex pinned him down. He was stronger than he looked, and John was melting under him. Alex laughed against his lips and his heart stopped for a moment before it was kicked back up by a roll of his hips. He hadn't realized just how hard he was until Alexander's thigh pressed against him and he whined when the pressure was gone, digging his nails into his shoulders and grinding up again.

“Ralentissez... Nous avons toute la nuit...” Alex whispered, holding John's hips tight while he shivered. He was a sucker for French and before he met Alex the only person that would speak it with him was... He pushed Lafayette to the back of his mind. He was off with Hercules, their third date in the week, and he was here with this amazing man who touched him like he was fine china and whispered all the praise he had ever wanted into his ear. He didn't need to be thinking about Lafayette or the way that he kissed. But he couldn't help it. While Alex was all fire, burning John up from the core, Laf was water, soothing and suffocating all at once. Both made him fight for his breath.

“Cela fait longtemps...” John muttered back, tangling his fingers in his hair. “Shit!” He hissed out when Alexander's hips came back down against his in a slow roll, their foreheads and noses touching, lips brushing occasionally, moans mingling between them while they ground their hips together like a couple of teenagers, desperate for each other. Alex made quick work of the buttons on John's shirt before undoing his own and leaning in to bite and lick at his neck, all the while whispering sweet nothings into his skin. John returned the favor, sucking a dark hickey on Alex's neck, right below the collar of his shirt, smirking proudly to himself when the grip on his hips tightened, almost to the point he thought he might bruise. Not that he was complaining, of course.

“Tell me if you want to stop.” Alex pulled back to look John in the eye. He was a mess and John was sure he looked pretty similar.

“What?” He panted out, thrown off by the sudden change in pace. Alex's pupils were blown and he was staring him down like a predator but behind the hunger, there was concern.

“I tend to get carried away. I don't want to push you into this if you don't want it. Please, just tell me if you want to stop.”

“Alexander Hamilton. If you stop now I will never forgive you. I haven't gotten laid in a year.” He paused. “Unless you want to stop, I mean. I'd be fine with that, but please don't stop on my account. I'm totally fine. I need this.” The relief on Alex's face before he leaned in to keep kissing him was the most endearing thing John had ever seen. Then he pulled away again, sitting up. “Alex...?”

“I don't want you to get your suit dirty.” He was smirking as he undid his own belt and the button of his pants before working on John's.

“Fuck...” He tipped his head back against the arm of the couch, moaning when Alex wrapped his fingers around his cock and started stoking him. “That's... Shit... Alexander-!” He gasped.

“Tell me what you like John.” He whispered in his ear, his hand not stopping.

“Just- Just...” John groaned. “Fuck, Alex, don't stop.”

“I won't baby. I won't. I'll never stop.” John's heart was pounding hard in his chest and it almost stopped when Alex lowered his hips to his again, taking his hand away to pin John's hands over his head while he started to thrust against him.

“Alex I-” John caught himself and squeezed his eyes shut.

'Don't say that. Don't you dare John Laurens. Don't you dare say that you love him. Not now. Not tonight.' He scolded himself.

“I know John.” Alex gave him a kiss at the corner of his eye were a single tear was threatening to sneak out. When had he started crying? And why? “I know.” A soft kiss on his lips.

“I'm going to-”

“Go ahead.”

Alex's permission and the gentle bite just under his ear was all John needed to let go, coming between them, gasping and clinging to him like he was his lifeline. Alex's hips stuttered and John felt his release join his own on their stomachs before Alex pulled him up, hugging him close and kissing him like he was never going to see him again.

“I, uh... Wow.” He laughed when he pulled away.

“Wow.” John echoed, smiling up at Alex dumbly.

“You're pretty when you come.” Alex grinned, kissing the tip of John's nose when he sputtered and tried to bury his face against his shoulder. “You are. I never want to stop looking at you. I... won't have to will I?”

“Absolutely not.” John assured him. “I mean, maybe for a minute while I get cleaned up, but after that feel free to stare away.” Alex's eyes drifted down to his stomach and he licked his lips, drawing his lower lip in between his teeth for a second before he nodded and got up carefully, offering a hand to John and helping him stand. “Bathroom's here if you want to...” He pointed as he went into his own room and over to the attached bathroom, peeling off his shirt and stepping out of his pants and boxers while he wiped his stomach off with a cool washcloth. He snatched up a pair of sweatpants from his bedroom floor and tugged them on, digging around in his drawer for another pair while he waited for Alex to come out of the other bathroom.

“Hey, would you mind if I borrowed some-” Alex broke off, sputtering when John chucked the clean sweats at him, hitting him in the face. “Thanks.” He smiled.

“Not a problem.” John walked around him and towards his kitchen. “Hey, I promised you a drink didn't I?”

XOXO