Archive of Our Own ^beta

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            People didn’t like him. Or maybe he just didn’t like people. Or maybe he didn’t like people because they didn’t like him. Regardless of what it was, it was obvious that out of the six, Ichimatsu would be the least likely to get married, hold down a job, and have any other social life. It was like the world had decided he was going to be a NEET forever and gave him the personality to keep him there: crippling social anxiety that made him hyperconscious of every little social interaction he may encounter and borderline personality disorder which did the same but made everything ten times worse. As opposed to just being nervous about talking to people, he was nervous and scared that they would hate him because he sucked at interactions or worse, that he’d become attach if they did put up with him and then they’d leave him.

            He had no way of winning.

            But time didn’t stop just because he’d never be able to make it into the real world, and the sextuplets became older. Once they were just a few years shy of their 30s, it was time to finally get their shit together. Even if it was terrifying.

            At least Osomatsu was almost charming, he had a likeable personality when he wasn’t being too outright or blunt or a complete pervert. He would have no problem getting a girlfriend if he knew how to censor himself. Karamatsu was a piece of work, but he put himself out there. He was painful and annoying, but he could use it to his benefit until he wore some poor employer down enough till they hired him. Choromatsu was at the very least professional and could definitely hold down any cushy office job if his siblings stopped enabling him to stay a NEET. Jyushimatsu may be the one to struggle (besides Ichimatsu), but at the very least he had Homura, who was an immensely supportive girlfriend. And hey, he was the first to even talk girl besides Totoko. Totty would definitely have no problem on their own. Without their bad influence of their brothers, they could get a job at any place of their liking, find a rich spouse and not have to worry for the rest of their life. That’s what they said and everyone knew that they probably could.

            Ichimatsu felt that he had none of the redeemable qualities the rest of his siblings did. Nothing to give him any sliver of hope that he’d be okay. But he figured he had to try.

            Almost every interview he had (which weren’t very many) ended with the interviewer looking uncomfortable, scared, and pretty much telling Ichimatsu he had no chance. His resolve was dwindling.

            It was starting to become late on a Friday night and after a day of disappointments, all he could do was sit on a bench in the middle of empty park and pull his knees to his chest. He dreaded going home, already hearing Choromatsu annoyingly ask how his interviews went and Karamatsu trying to restore any hope that Ichimatsu had with cheesy lines. It was painful to know that he was the least capable, the least likely to succeed. It was cruel to be the biggest failure among a family with five others.

            It’s not even worth trying anymore.

            “Hey, are you okay there?” an unfamiliar voice interrupted his thought and he looked up to an almost familiar young woman with short light brown hair and bangs that framed her face nicely.

            Ichimatsu froze.

            “Don’t we know you actually? I’m pretty sure we’ve met before.” The man behind her spoke up, Ichimatsu not noticing until then. He was tall with brown, stylish hair and glasses.

            Oh god.

            Ichimatsu actually did remember them, from Christmas a few years back when he and his siblings were still proudly mooching off their parents and Ichimatsu had no clue how fucked up he really was. He had approached them, like a complete idiot, late at night in a ridiculous black Santa outfit, and tried to hold a conversation. The entire time Ichimatsu’s heart pounded with anxiety, knowing he was repeating himself too loudly and quickly when they didn’t answer his questions the second he asked them. And to top it off, he like, spontaneousl combusted and they ran away in fear which was definitely the proper reaction.

            How the hell did he end up meeting these two again?

            “Yeah! I remember! He was that weirdo that we met around Christmas when we first started dating!” The girl suddenly exclaimed, turning to her boyfriend.

            Ichimatsu heart dropped into his stomach at the word “weirdo.”

            “Oh, shit, you’re right,” the man mused.

            They’re just ignoring you now, having their own little conversation.

            Ichimatsu shifted so he could get up to leave.

            Suddenly the girl turned to look right back at Ichimatsu. “You looked a little bummed so I wanted to see if you were okay, and luck has it that we’ve met before!” The girl giggled. “The world’s pretty small, huh?”

            Oh god she expects you to answer.

            “Yeah I guess.” He forced the words. Every moment made Ichimatsu more and more uncomfortable, desperate for an escape from the conversation but the girl had managed to pull him back into it.

            Suddenly the two were sitting next to him, smiles that definitely weren’t meant Ichimatsu.

            No one smiles at you like that.

            No one smiles at garbage like that.

            “We didn’t have a proper introduction that night, I mean you were being pretty weird…”

            Ouch.

            “But that night kind of stayed with us for a while, it definitely helped us bond a little over a shared, extremely odd, experience. I still don’t understand how you managed to burst into actual flames.”

            “It’s a talent,” Ichimatsu said dryly.

            Both of them found it hilarious, laughs that only happy people had surrounding Ichimatsu.

            They’re laughing at you.

            God did he want to run.

            “Wait! Didn’t we actually meet twice? You almost passed out in the middle of the street!” The girl exclaimed, looking concerned even though the incident occurred years before. It was like she expected Ichimatsu to pass out then and there. “Are you okay? You’re not still living off the street right?”

            “No, I moved back in with my family.”

            You should’ve have said that.

            Now they’ll know you’re a worthless NEET.

            Instead, she let out a sigh of relief. “Oh that’s good.”

            “Anyways, my name is Yoji,” the guy beamed and it made Ichimatsu feel sickly jealous over how confident he was. He wasn’t evenly painfully confident like Karamatsu, he was genuinely confident and sure of himself. It was charming.

            “And I’m Momoko,” the girl followed, with a small smile, equally confident, but with added cuteness and made Ichimatsu even sicker.

            They expect you to answer.

            Why are they even talking to you?

            “Ichimatsu.”

            His name felt heavy, dead, like it belonged to someone as worthless as he was.

            “Well Ichimatsu, we were on our way to grab a bite to eat, do you want to join us?” The man, Yoji, was the one to offer and the girl, Momoko, actually didn’t looked bothered at the idea.

            What the fuck.

            “S-Sure.” As pathetic as it came out, something managed to give him the courage to accept the invitation.

            They were nice. They were nice, and attractive, and actually talked to him, allowing him time to come up with the words without rushing him or making him feel pressured. They were patient and didn’t patronize him for not making eye contact.

            They were just pretending to be nice.

            They were nice and didn’t use their past meetings to judge him and apologized for calling him a weirdo.

            They definitely remembered what a freak you were.

            Those apologies were empty.

            They were nice and paid for his meal and asked his house number, suggesting that they should all hang out again.

            They’re not actually going to call you.

            They were nice and said his name without any disappointment in their voice.

            They won’t stick around.

            Despite his ugly thoughts, he couldn’t help but feel so so happy.

            Ichimatsu was fixated on the house phone for days. Any time it rang, he’d answer it, afraid any of his siblings would get to it first. Luckily, when Yoji called a few days later, Ichimatsu did get to the phone first, causing his siblings to whisper about why he was so jumpy.

Even with the whispers behind him making him more nervous, Ichimatsu quickly agreed when Yoji asked if he wanted join them for lunch. He almost blanked out when Yoji told him when and where to meet up.

            He had to ask Jyushimatsu to loan him cash, and his younger brother gave it to him but not without trying to figure out why.

            “Why do you need extra money this month?” Jyushimatsu curiously asked.

            “I’m planning to go out… some friends…”

            Be careful using that word.

            “Some people I know… asked me to lunch and...”

            “Ehhh? Ichimatsu nii-san you have friends?”

            “They’re not friends! Just some stupidly friendly people I bumped into!”

            If only Ichimatsu could lie to his favorite brother.

            “Well, that’s great nii-san!” Jyushimatsu buzzed excitedly.

            “Yeah, I guess… Just don’t tell the others or I’ll kill you.”

            Momoko was an aspiring novelist who was trying to finish her young adult fiction novel and eventually get published. She got overly excited when asked about her characters, having to be stopped when she started to go on a tangent about the protagonist of her story. The way she radiated happiness could almost rub off on Ichimatsu.

            Yoji worked with computers and had a steady job at a tech repair shop. He admitted that his job was not the best, but that it paid well and gave him enough money to indulge in his hobbies. He had a lot of different types of gaming systems and talked about creating his own game one day, even if it was just an underground indie game with a small fanbase.

They shared a small two bed room apartment, with a roommate who was a total nightmare, so they were thinking of kicking him out. They also had a pet cat that they rescued and named Yuki because she was pure white. When they mentioned her, it apparently made Ichimatsu’s face light up and they offered to let Ichimatsu come over and meet her.

            It soon became a weekly routine for one of them to call Ichimatsu up and ask if he was free, inviting him to a bunch of places Ichimatsu had never been to because all his siblings did was drink and play pachinko. It was almost overwhelming, but he managed to be somewhat comfortable as long as Momoko and Yoji were there.

            It was obvious that he was acting different, and while he still felt nervous in general and still had bouts where he was convinced that there was no one in the world that would care if he didn’t exist, he did feel overwhelmingly okay. Even his siblings took notice.

            “Ichimatsu nii-san, why are you so happy all of a sudden?” Totty asked one day while they were all lounging around lazily in the living room.

            “Yeah, Totty’s right, you’ve been in a weirdly good mood for the past month,” Osomatsu added.

            “You’ve only threatened to kill me three times this month” Karamatsu mentioned.

            Ichimatsu pretended to not hear them.

            “It’s because Ichimatsu nii-san has new friends! That’s why he’s always waiting to answer the phone!”

            Goddammit Jyushimatsu.

            “Whaaaaaaaaat? Really Ichimatsu?” Osomatsu’s voice was filled with disbelief. “There are people that will tolerate your evil aura?”

            Totty looked like someone told a hilarious joke and almost couldn’t contain the laughter.

            “So is that who you’ve been hanging out with? I thought it was weird that you were leaving the house so much. I thought maybe you started selling drugs,” Choromatsu commented.

            “You’re not serious are you? Who the hell did you meet? Are they weird loners like you? You know it’s not considered being a loner if you all hang out together,” Totty finally laughed.

            “They’re… this weird couple I met a few years back. They saw me again while I was wallowing in my own pity and decided to ask me to hang out. They haven’t stopped bothering me since.” Ichimatsu tried to play it off. They weren’t really bothering him. He actually looked forward to seeing them. It was weird, but he couldn’t help feeling at ease with them.

            “Enjoy it now, it’s about time that they realize what a weirdo you are and stop calling.”

            They didn’t drop Ichimatsu after a month. They didn’t drop him after two. They continued to spend even more time with him after three.

            After four months, Ichimatsu finally had to know why the hell they were wasting their time with him.

            “Don’t you guys ever go on like… one on one dates? Aren’t I just in the way?”

            “You’re not in the way at all!” Momoko pouted. She almost convinced him.

            “You’re pretty great, Ichimatsu.” Yoji made his name sound nice.

            “But I’m just a garbage.”

            Momoko’s pout turned into a scowl.

            “That’s not true, we don’t think you’re garbage, Ichimatsu.” She made his name sound nice too.

            “I just don’t understand. People don’t like me. I’m weird. I literally burst into flames when I get uncomfortable or jealous. How can you stand me?” Ichimatsu waited to regret the question.

            They’re going to realize that they’ve been wasting their time.

            This is their chance to abandon you.  

            The two looked at each other.

            “Ichimatsu, do you want to date us?” Yoji suddenly said, looking directly at Ichimatsu.

            “what.”

            what.

            “Do you want to date us? Like, both of us. At the same time?”

            “At first, we just wanted to get to know you and become friends since we were so quick to judge you when we first met. But after getting to know you better, we both realized you’re a really wonderful person and well…” Momoko looked both nervous and happy.

            Was she nervous to ask you out?

            What the fuck.

            This doesn’t happen to you.

            They must be lying.

            “We both like you. We like each other, obviously. Do you like us? You don’t have to date us if you don’t want to, Ichimatsu.” Every time either of them said his name made his heart beat a little harder, like it was going to burst out of his chest.

            Do you even like men?           

            Ichimatsu thought he was going to puke.

            “Give me a minute.”

            He practically darted to the bathroom, anxiety filling him up and making him almost vomit into toilet. He didn’t actually puke, but the nauseous feeling stayed.

            They’re fucking with you.

            They want to laugh at you.

            Ichimatsu would be a liar if he said he hadn’t thought about it. The more and more he spent time with them, the more he found himself becoming attached. They made him feel safe. Comfortable. Their friendship was different than those of his siblings, who were obligated to be friends with him by blood, but here were these two completely independent people who wanted to spend time with Ichimatsu. People who wanted to date him.

            It has to be a joke.

            He hoped it wasn’t.

            But they were perfect and Ichimatsu wasn’t.

            He forced himself to go back to their table, one off in the corner with almost no one else surrounding it because Momoko and Yoji had quickly learned that Ichimatsu hated being surrounded by too many people.

            They both looked concerned, like they were afraid they fucked up. It was weird to see such an expression because Ichimatsu was always met with expressions of disgustie because he was the one to fuck up.

            “Listen, Ichimatsu, we’re sorry, we didn’t mean to spring this on you so suddenly, you don’t—“

            “Okay.”

            “…What?”

            “I said okay.”

            “Okay?”

            “Does that mean—?”

            “Yes! I said okay, yes, I’ll date you, please don’t make me regret it!”

            He really hoped he didn’t.

            Dating one person sounded stressful and despite all of the siblings’ desperate attempts to get girlfriends, Ichimatsu was never particularly fond of the idea. It sounded… taxing. Annoying. Draining. Plus who’d want to date him anyways?

            But he was dating two people. Two.

            It was terrifying, the way he felt his face burn up and his heart pound when he thought about them.

            But they made him feel safe, even when he felt like he was teetering the line between okay and a mental breakdown. They looked at him like they truly cared about him, with eyes he couldn’t always meet out of fear of falling too deep. They held his hand so tightly, as if they were reassuring him that they wouldn’t just leave him at any moment. And they smiled so brightly that he didn’t know how his heart could handle it.

Chapter Text

His heart managed, even if it felt like it would burst with emotion every moment he was with Momoko and Yoji.

            As if they hadn’t been spending most of their free time with Ichimatsu already, their invites became more frequent and it was like any moment they had, they sought him out, treating him to meals, holding his hands at museums, the movies, the aquarium. They liked him. They really did.

            Momoko was cute, definitely the kind of girl that his siblings would fawn over. She had a sweet face with dimples, her eyes were big and bright, and she was always kind. Her voice was soft and a patient, but she also easily lit up with excitement and joy.

            Yoji was handsome, someone Ichimatsu would’ve been jealous over before because he was so attractive and sure of himself. Instead, Ichimatsu found himself oddly infatuated with him too, the way he held himself and the way he smiled at Ichimatsu’s nervous tics or Momoko’s abundant energy.

            They both did little things that made Ichimatsu’s heart flutter, like the way Momoko tucked Ichimatsu’s hair behind his ear just because she wanted to look at his face a bit better or the way Yoji put his arm around Ichimatsu’s waist because he liked to pull him close. The affection was dizzying, always almost too much, but Ichimatsu couldn’t get enough.

            They’re not real.

            Momoko would cling to his arm while Yoji would intertwine his fingers with Ichimatsu’s. Sometimes, Momoko would hold both of their hands and excitedly drag them around a bookstore, pointing out all the books she drew inspiration from. She convinced Ichimatsu to buy one or two. Other times, Yoji would be the one holding both of their hands, his grip strong and sure, like he was showing them off and that made Ichimatsu want to keep his head down, in fear of anyone approaching him but also weirdly proud.

            It was nice. It was nice to feel wanted.

            Ichimatsu dreaded when they would ask about his family, but he told them about his five other siblings, how he was a sextuplet and how the other five were probably better than him, even if he wouldn’t tell them that himself.

            “You have to introduce us soon!”

            Ichimatsu shuddered at the thought.

             It was impossible to keep a secret from his siblings. Especially one that Ichimatsu was itching to let others known, secretly proud of himself, secretly wanting everyone to know he wasn’t a huge failure. After all, they were his partners, and Osomatsu was still trying to figure out how to ask out the checkout girl from the convenience store down the road. But god, even if they were all way more socially capable than Ichimatsu, they’d definitely ruin it, they’d scare off the only two other people that gave a damn about him. He couldn’t just tell them.

            They’d think you were lying.

            But it wasn’t like he could hide it for long.

            “Ichimatsu nii-san, I saw you the other day down in the shopping district…”

            Of course Totty would see him. They were the only one that was constantly out and about, shopping, going to the gym, climbing goddamn mountains. Suddenly everyone’s attention was directed at Ichimatsu and he felt his hands get clammy and his face get hot.

            “Were those your friends or whatever that keep calling?”

            “Yeah, sure,” he tried to remain flippant, hoping that everyone would just go back to whatever they were doing before all this attention was suffocating him, before all the attention made him want to tell them about Momoko and Yoji because he couldn’t contain his happiness.

            “But they looked pretty normal, Ichimatsu nii-san! I thought they were going to be weird wanna be loners like you.” Totty sounded disappointed somehow, a little pout on their face. They weren’t about to let Ichimatsu escape.

            “Why do they keep calling you anyways? Aren’t they a couple? Seems weird that a couple would want to spend so much time with any other person,” Choromatsu asked the question that had bothering Ichimatsu for months before.

            “Yeah, that’s a little strange,” Osomatsu agreed. “Maybe they’re—“

            Ichimatsu slammed his head against the table.

            “Ichimatsu nii-san!” Jyushimatsu tried too late to stop him.

            “Woah, Ichimatsu, what’s the big deal?”

            “Who are they exactly? You’re acting super strange!”

            Don’t tell them.

            “They… They want to meet you guys.”

            It went as well as anyone would’ve expected.

            Upon introductions, Momoko let it slip that they were all dating, which made the five go wide eye with shock.

            Ichimatsu couldn’t blame Momoko, he hadn’t told her or Yoji to keep it a secret, mostly because he had forgotten to, but he felt embarrassed.

            Shockingly, his siblings handled it well.

            Osomatsu managed to behave himself, not asking any rude invasive questions about their personal life, but still played the over protective big brother role (badly) and almost interrogated them. Apparently, they passed with flying colors and Osomatsu not-so-secretively gave Ichimatsu a thumbs up.

Karamatsu, also trying to be a protective older brother, after a long spiel of how much he cared for all his siblings and how much Ichimatsu mattered to him, dramatically thanked them for taking care of “his little Ichimatsu.” That of course, warranted him a death glare from the younger brother. Regardless, they humored Karamatsu, telling him that they’d continue to take care of Ichimatsu and would not fail him.

Choromatsu actually talked to them like normal people, asking them the typical questions. He seemed to get along well with Yoji, asking him about his work with computers and his interests in games and when Yoji asked him about his own hobbies, Choromatsu nervously mentioned liking idols and Yoji responded with talk about his own favorite idols. It was a miracle that Choromatsu contained himself.

Jyushimatsu also got along with them well, asking them how long they’d been together and then talked about his own girlfriend, Homura, bouncing excitedly at just the mention of her. Ichimatsu feared they’d say something about Jyushimatsu’s habits, but they thankfully didn’t, letting Jyushimatsu talk about what came to his mind.

Totty looked betrayed that Ichimatsu would keep them from them, shooting him looks that definitely said “How the hell did you climb the social ladder quicker than me” but soon the jealousy stopped radiating from him when Momoko started chatting with them, giggling and laughing after whispers and exchanging phone numbers. Totty would forgive him.

It was actually nice to see his siblings, that he begrudgingly actually cared for, talking and knowing his partners.

Even if said siblings did kick his ass when they all got home for keeping it a secret.

Chapter Text

Anyone could tell you that being a relationship is different from what it’s made out to be. Of course, Ichimatsu had no clue, no expectations of what it would be like. His siblings have been obsessed with idea of girlfriends since they entered adulthood, casting their affections towards an obviously uninterested Totoko who just stepped on all their advances. It came to a point where they actually had to wonder whether or not they truly wanted a relationship or just liked the idea of a cute girl to boost their social status and make them less of NEETs?

Jyushimatsu was the first to actually show any interest in a girl beyond her physical appearance when he met Homura. Back then, it seemed like an intense crush that was doomed from the start. When she moved away, Jyushimatsu was heartbroken, but after a few months, he sought her out, wrote to her and eventually the two wound up happily dating when she found herself back in town.

The rest of them had failed to even consider not being attracted to girls, none of them had considered that there was a whole sea of people that they might have had a chance with if they actually bothered to put themselves out there and cleaned up their act.

            Ichimatsu didn’t think about it at all until suddenly an attractive man and his attractive girlfriend asked him to date both of them.

            Soon after meeting Ichimatsu’s partners, Karamatsu came out. He was the first to express interest in men years before, not being one to be afraid of complimenting and acknowledging how handsome certain actors were. But after realizing it was okay to like men in his family, he began to notice the guys he saw on the street, almost panicking himself when he truly realized he didn’t like just women. Of course, when telling his brothers he went on in a monologue about how the beauty of people as a whole is what mattered and who cared if he found himself with a man rather than a woman because in the end, love is what mattered. As ridiculous as it was, it was a hard statement to disagree with.

            It took longer for Totty to bring it up. They had never been shy about their gender identity, but for whatever reason they felt the need to hide their sexuality. It was another way they were different, and for whatever reason the sextuplets loved to resist change. But Totty had known for years, liking women as well but not quite in the same way they liked men. It wasn’t until a few deep conversations with Momoko on the phone that Totty had built up the courage.

            Slowly it felt like the sextuplets were beginning to truly grow up, admitting things that they would’ve never have as they became older. Things continued to change, almost like they had a few years prior when Choromatsu had gotten a job and left the sextuplets, followed one by one by the others. Their resolve didn’t last back then. They all came back, changing too much too quickly and it bit them in the ass.

            Things were going differently this time. They were smart enough to know that to immediately leave and make a drastic change in their life would only set them back again. It had to be small steps.

            Jyushimatsu was trying the hardest, because of Homura, he wanted to support her and actually marry her, already head over heels in love. And because it was Jyushimatsu, he was determined, unwavering. He eventually found a bit of work landscaping, something that wasn’t dangerous with heavy machinery, but was still in an area of labor that he could support himself in, without fear of mockery because of his habits and patterns. It was also outside and in the sunshine where Jyushimatsu fit best.

            Totty, who had foolishly just ran off to live on their own before, tried to get back into some sort of work. With some begging, he was a part-timer at Suutaba again, steadily saving up money instead of blowing it on frivolous items. They started being even more social than they already were, excusing themselves from pachinko nights and oden nights with the siblings to go out with coworkers and friends. Where the rest would’ve been angry or jealous before, they instead sent Totty off with words like “Be careful” and “Don’t do anything stupid.”

            Karamatsu somehow landed a job in a small niche retail shop, which carried weird fashion trends, a place he actually blended in well with his painful fashion. In fact, the patrons and owners of the shop loved it, making him a favorite employee quickly. He eventually told everyone he’d be moving out again. While it seemed to be the same as what he did before, he had a job and a reason to move out. He hesitantly admitted that he and Chibita had begun to date and he had offer to let him move in again.

            Choromatsu begged their dad for another chance, another opportunity to make into the working world. While there was no way they would take him back at the company he had quit so suddenly, Matsuzo still was able to get some contact with old friends landed Choromatsu a secretarial type job at a small business. A desk job always suited Choromatsu and because it was close to home, he wasn’t forced to leave the house until he was ready.

            Osomatsu, the one most opposed to leaving their comfortable life, finally made his own effort to find jobs. He had interviews upon interviews in no time, being able talk himself up convincingly enough despite his lack of experience. While he didn’t get many job offers, the first one he got he jumped at, soon becoming a part time checkout clerk at the convenience store with the girl he had an eye on. After a few weeks, he had the courage to ask her out, and she actually had said yes.

            Soon it seemed like Ichimatsu was being left behind again, still lagging in any sort of job leads, still unable to talk to anyone other than his family and romantic partners. It was disheartening. It was frustrating. He didn’t expect it to happen, but it was and it didn’t seem like his siblings would slow down. It was selfish to wish they did.

            You only inspired them to leave you.

            Momoko and Yoji finally kicked out their hell of roommate and they were asking Ichimatsu to move in.

            “Holy shit.” He couldn’t help but say it out loud.

            “I know you don’t have a job, but we can help you! For now, the both of us make enough, so it’s not like you need to get a job right now. You can do it at your own speed.”

            Holy shit.

            This was way too quick. Too much. Too fast. Too heavy. But it was wanted right? People that care about him and would keep an eye on him? Wasn’t it what he was supposed to want?

            Ichimatsu thought he would faint.

            What if they’re disgusted by you?

            You haven’t even told them about how you’re not actually a man.

            They won’t want you when you tell them.

            What’s going to happen when you start acting crazy around them?

            They’re going to hate you.

            What’s going to happen when you can’t get or hold down a job?

            They’re going to eventually get tired of you mooching off them.

            They’re going to abandon you.

            “I can’t.”

            “Why not, Ichimatsu? It really wouldn’t be a burden,” Momoko tried to convince him, placing a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently and comfortingly.

            “Because I don’t want to depend on your kindness.”

            “We’ll help you get on your feet, we can help you find a job!” Yoji reached over for his hand, holding it in his own.

            “I don’t want you to get tired of me.”

            “That’s not going to happen, Ichimatsu! We’re asking you to move in because we want you around even more!”

            “I don’t want you to get disgusted by me.”

            “That doesn’t make sense, why would we get disgust—?”

            “Because! I’m not like you two!” Ichimatsu slammed his hands down on the table of the thankfully empty restaurant. The few other customers and employees looked over, concerned, but their eyes didn’t linger.

            However, the outburst made Momoko and Yoji go wide eyed.

            “I’m not independent, I’m not successful, I didn’t go to school and it’s way too late for me to start now. I can’t even function in society, everyone always gives me ugly looks and turns me away because I’m a mess, a complete fuck up. I’m not right.”

            “That’s not—”

            “It is! I don’t even know why you all even bothered with me! I know where this is going to end! You’re going to leave, you’re going to drop me like the dead weight I am! You’re just stringing me along to get satisfaction out of my suffering!” His voice trembled.

            He couldn’t help crying, feeling betrayed by Momoko and Yoji, even if they hadn’t done a single thing wrong.

            Ichimatsu wasn’t sure why he agreed to go over to their apartment. Actually, he wasn’t sure he said anything at all. After the crying, he couldn’t form words, he couldn’t get his thoughts together because they were racing with self-hate. He expected them to treat him with disgust. Especially after the scene he made. But instead Momoko gently rubbed his back while Yoji handled the tab, and they took a short cab drive to their apartment before Ichimatsu even realized that’s where they were headed.

            Their apartment smelled clean and like them, the walls were bare and the furniture composed of a single futon and a small table for meals. Their cat, Yuki, immediately purred when they walked through, followed by a questioning meow when she saw Ichimatsu. Despite this, she immediately nuzzled Ichimatsu’s leg, purring the entire time and then plopping down on the futon when she decided it was time to nap.

            “Here Ichimatsu, you can sit here,” Yoji guided him to the couch, like Ichimatsu was sickly and weak. He was definitely weak and sick, in a different sense.

            The presence of the cat next to him almost made him feel better. He instinctively went to scratch her ear, the purring somehow becoming even louder. The familiar sound was relaxing.

            Momoko sat down next to Ichimatsu, making Yuki move over into Ichimatsu’s lap, which of course he didn’t object to. Yoji sat on the other side of him, immediately moving to put an arm around his shoulder.

            “What’s on your mind Ichimatsu?”

            Everything.

            “Nothing.”

            “That’s not true, we all know it.”

            If you say anything, they’ll hate you.

            “You don’t need to know.”

            “Of course we don’t need to but we want to! We want to help you no matter what! That’s what partners do for each other.”

            “Just talk to us.”

            Don’t.

He told them everything. He told them about when he came out as trans boy in high school, how he felt disgusted by himself because he wasn’t the girl he was supposed to be. He and Karamatsu were both supposed to be girls, and instead they broke their mother’s heart and rejected it completely. He told them about how she cried, tried to convince him it was a phase, anything to get the daughter she wanted. He didn’t mention Karamatsu but vividly remembered when he came out and she hardly tried to change his mind, already knowing it wouldn’t work.

She just didn’t want to accept you.

Anyone else she’d take with open arms.         

He told them about his diagnosis, the social anxiety that was easy to pick up on and the borderline that he hoped to hide. He told them how he was afraid every moment of his life, afraid of criticism, afraid of speaking, afraid of people leaving him, afraid to be the only sibling who didn’t succeed. He spilled his heart out through disgusting sobs that he couldn’t keep in, already afraid of their reaction. He waited for them to tell him to leave, that they never wanted to see his face again.

He wouldn’t blame them.

            They met his confession with an embrace, both of their arms smothering Ichimatsu, his tears and snot dripping on them.

            This is fake.

            Momoko and Yoji helped Ichimatsu get a job. Momoko’s family owned a restaurant, a casual dining type place, and she convinced them to give Ichimatsu a chance. They of course, knew better than to stick him somewhere he’d be constantly bombarded with people and strangers. Instead they had him clean tables and helping out with minor prep in the kitchen. His schedule was regular with not very many hours, to ease him into the job without overwhelming him. Coworkers were kind, but not overbearing, learning quickly to give Ichimatsu space. He felt that Momoko had a hand in that, probably telling them all what a freak he was.

            But he appreciated the kindness.

            He agreed to move in with them two months later.

            He didn’t think his family could’ve been prouder.

Chapter Text

Living with people other than his siblings was definitely an experience. A much more comfortable, less smelly, less crowded experience.

            Ichimatsu technically had his own room in the apartment, and because their previous roommate was a scumbag, Momoko and Yoji kept the mattress, the nightstand, and the dresser that they had initially gifted to their roommate out of kindness. Now it was part of the very few belongings Ichimatsu had. Moving in, he didn’t have much, his usual clothes along with his work clothes and a few basic hygiene items. His siblings and parents all gave him presents for his moving out; a practical alarm clock from Choromatsu (“so you don’t sleep all day”), a mirror from Karamatsu (“so you’ll never go a day without seeing us”), two different succulents from Totty (“to brighten your room!”), and Osomatsu and Jyushimatsu got together to get Ichimatsu his own phone (“so you have no excuse to not call your favorite brothers!”). His parents sent him off with a bit of money to help him along and a framed family photograph. Embarrassingly, he did keep the photograph on his nightstand. The rest of the gifts found their own place among his room.

Despite having a perfectly good bed, as opposed to the futon he had shared for many long years, he hardly slept in it. After the first few nights of waking up mid nightmare and finding himself alone, he would squeeze himself into Momoko’s and Yoji’s shared bed. The only time he would sleep in it was if he was in a particularly sour mood or if he was overwhelmed, and needed the space. Sometimes when Momoko or Yoji would have company over, he’d retreat into his own room the entire time. They never forced him to talk to anyone he didn’t want to talk to, and he was grateful.

            He loved that they let him bring up the street cats and have them in his room, as long as they didn’t ruin anything. They weren’t allowed to roam the apartment because of Yuki, who would definitely be mad that other cats were in her territory, but Ichimatsu didn’t mind sitting around and cuddling with one of his favorite alley cats in his room, especially if Momoko and Yoji were both out working.

            Ichimatsu managed at his job, no one criticized him for his lack of eye contact and he did well enough at his actual work that no one ever had to reprimand him for fucking up. When he was having an extremely good day, he’d engage in small talk with some of his coworkers, still nervous but being able to get words out without panic. On extremely bad days, he’d work up the nerve to tell his manager that he really wasn’t feeling well and they’d either try to let him leave early or keep him in the back doing work that didn’t require talking to anyone else. He was definitely grateful for accommodation.

            Not to say that everything was perfect. Momoko and Yoji fought, usually over miniscule things like having the AC to high or forgetting to buy necessities at the store, but it was more like bickering rather than an actual fight. They bickered with Ichimatsu too, not liking that he left his clothes wherever or when didn’t bother to get to the dishes until the next morning, after ants had already accumulated on the kitchen counter. He never really sought out arguments, but certain days he’d hold grudges when Momoko spent the entire day on her computer working on her novel without paying mind to him or when Yoji left the apartment without saying bye to Ichimatsu. But they still tried to be patient, only really giving him attitude when they had a stressful day. It was always okay in the end.

            Most nights they’d sleep pressed against each other, the bed far too small to fit three people. Yoji’s limbs never settled right, falling asleep with his arms wrapped around either Momoko or Ichimatsu or both but waking up with his arms across their face. Momoko insisted on sleeping with her socks on, but they’d never stay on and somehow end up next to Ichimatsu’s face every morning. Ichimatsu would occasionally snore and wake up constantly in the middle of the night, sometimes from nightmares sometimes just because, and he’d make too much noise in the kitchen.

            It was one of those nights, the ones where he’d wake up from a nightmare, covered in cold sweat, and he’d end up in the kitchen in the search of something to snack on because he couldn’t fall back to sleep.

            Of course there was nothing, they weren’t going grocery shopping till morning so Ichimatsu curled up on the futon, playing on a cute cat app on his phone that Yoji told him about. He used it more too take pictures of cats and play games than he did to call or text his siblings, but he did try. He at least let them know he was alive once a month.

            The door to the bedroom creaked and footsteps approached Ichimatsu, Yoji yawning as he took a seat next to Ichimatsu and rested his head on his shoulder to look at whatever Ichimatsu was doing.

            “Can’t sleep?”                                                       

            Ichimatsu would’ve shrugged but he didn’t want to Yoji to move.

            “Not really.”

            “Did you have another nightmare?”

            “Yeah.” It was one he had before, a nightmare where he kept talking to people he thought cared about him and they coldly ignored him. One by one they left.

            But he was awake and Yoji’s comforting presence reminded him it wasn’t real. It wouldn’t happen. Hopefully.

            “Are you okay?”

            “Probably.”

            They shifted to where Ichimatsu was the one resting his head against Yoji’s shoulder.

            “I’ll be okay.”

            “I have a present for you!” Momoko’s cheerful voice filled the apartment the minute she walked through the door.

            Ichimatsu who had been laying on the floor playing with Yuki looked up at her, confused.

            “Why.”

            “Because!”

            He furrowed his eyebrows.

            “Don’t give me that look! I wanted to do something nice.” She set a bag on the table and looked at Ichimatsu with a big smile.

Shortly after moving, Momoko asked Ichimatsu if he wanted to go shopping for new clothes. The idea made him nervous. It wasn’t like he was the only sibling to move out recently, and everyone seemed to be heading in the same direction for once. They had all started to stand on their own two feet, making transitions from their comfortable life to one where they were all apart and independent, so Ichimatsu definitely wouldn’t be the first or only sibling to let go of the matching wardrobe they all shared for years. But the idea bothered him still. He didn’t think he had his own identity, he always felt like he was part of a unit. If he wasn’t even part of that anymore, who else would he be?

“I know you didn’t want to, but I think it would be nice if you had some clothes that were just your own.”

            Ichimatsu was annoyed at first, his face falling to a grimace. When she pulled out the clothes from the shopping bags, he was pleasantly surprised. A few shirts with simple cat motifs and other plainer shirts, nothing that was uptight like a button up shirt or flashy like a V-neck. She also bought him a comfortable looking jacket and cardigan, both baggy looking but not ugly. He had never pictured himself to have any sort of style, but the clothes she picked somehow fit, they were comfortable and loose, not overtly flashy, nothing that would bring attention to him. She didn’t even buy him real pants or shoes, just things that she felt he’d be okay in.

            “I didn’t get you much, but it’s something! Just a few things to offset the monotony of your closet.”

            He picked up a few things. The cardigan was as soft as it looked.

            “Thank you. I like them. A lot actually.”

            It was impossible that Momoko could even look happier, but she did.

            “I’m proud of you.”

Chapter Text

            Ichimatsu was not a total stranger to affection. At least not now, after months of being in a relationship with two extremely affectionate people. But that didn’t make him less nervous every time Momoko insisted on hold his hand the entire time when they were out together, eyes darting between the strangers that were probably not paying attention to the two. He always worried they were staring at him and the way too cute girl next to him, with her fingers intertwined with his, wondering how they hell it even happened.

            It was more nerve-racking when he was with Yoji and while he didn’t hold his hand all the time, he’d put his arm around Ichimatsu’s shoulder or waist or sometimes he’d brush hair of his face, always giving little touches of affection. People definitely noticed that, a bit more stares and scowls in the sea of strangers, but Yoji ignored it easily.

            Momoko and Yoji were almost sickeningly affectionate to each other. Of course they would be. They had been dating each other a lot longer than they had been dating Ichimatsu. He’d find them cuddling the couch and sometimes Yoji would twirl Momoko around, both of them laughing and smiling. They’d exchange quick kisses and pet names, things they never did with Ichimatsu.

            He wasn’t jealous.

            He really wasn’t.

            Jealous.

            Or maybe he was. But not jealous of either of them specifically. He was jealous of how close they already were, how comfortable they seemed. It made him feel like an outsider sometimes, no matter how many times they reassured him he wasn’t.

            In fact, neither of them had shown Ichimatsu any romantic affection besides the innocent hand holding and the hugs and cuddles that were too close, too intimate to be platonic, but they weren’t the pet names or the kisses or the playful affections that Momoko and Yoji shared. Ichimatsu scowled at the realization.

            To be fair, he wasn’t very open about what he wanted. They were very respectful of Ichimatsu’s boundaries, how was this no different?

            How do you even begin to ask for something like a kiss?

            His face burned up at the thought.

            He’d never had his first kiss, he’d never kiss anyone at all. He had hardly registered it as something couples even did, and all of sudden he realized that he had two people that he could kiss. His face kept getting redder.

            Thankfully he was in his own bedroom, no witnesses to embarrassingly display of him burying his face in his hands and blushing intensely. He couldn’t help it. It felt like such a childish thing to be worried about, but here he was, a grown-ass adult who had never kissed a person in his life because he’d never thought he’d have the chance.

            But he did, he had the very real very possible chance.

            It was embarrassing. The thought would not leave his head.

            It was a rare night where they all had a majority of the evening off, but Ichimatsu had slept the entire day and stayed in his room, lounging lazily because the day before had tired him out with work and errands he was forced to run with Momoko. He knew they were probably together on the futon or even in their own room, being the romantic saps that they were. The jealousy reared its ugly head again.

            He didn’t know how to go out and bring it up to them.

            At the very least, he did leave his room, the light from the living room hurting his eyes because he always kept his own lights off. He was right to assume they were on the futon, cuddling, while Momoko showed Yoji silly videos on her phone. When she heard Ichimatsu, she turned excitedly.

            “Ichimatsu! Look at this video, it’s super cute!”

            They both shifted to make room for him, leaving a space for him in between them. Ichimatsu rested against Yoji’s chest and Momoko made herself comfortable sprawled on their laps, legs hanging off the side of the futon and her phone held up where Ichimatsu could see the looping clip of a bunny and a cat cuddling.

            “Isn’t this the best thing you’ve ever seen!”

            Ichimatsu couldn’t help but smile.

            “I like the one with the cat launching himself into boxes,” Yoji laughed, reaching over to click on said video on Momoko’s phone.

            “My favorite is the one with the cat in the panda costume.”

            The nervousness was shoved to the back of his mind as he relaxed in between them, laughing at the different videos they found. It was nice the way they fit. The way Momoko supplied enough energy and conversation for all three of them and how Yoji kept them organized and grounded, always being a source of comfort and reliability. Ichimatsu didn’t know how his anxious, avoidant, violent mood-swings filled self even fit in their puzzle, but they both insisted that he did.

            It got later and later, their laughter becoming sleepy and their conversation drifting towards work, friends (Momoko’s and Yoji’s), and family.

            “Ehhhh, Ichimatsu, haven’t we’ve been dating for almost 8 months already?” Yoji mentioned once there was a lull in the conversation.

            “Mhm, it’s the eight month mark tomorrow,” Momoko nodded sleepily, curling up more against the other two.

            “Yeah,” Ichimatsu chuckled nervously. It was his chance, the perfect set up but he couldn’t figure out how to say, how to even begin to direct the conversation in that direction.

            He didn’t have to.

            “I know you’re a pretty reserved person, which is why we haven’t yet,” Momoko started, slowly sitting up to rest her head against Ichimatsu’s shoulder instead.

            “But we were wondering if it was okay for us to kiss you?”

            If Ichimatsu’s heart could actually beat out of his chest, it would.

            “Y-Yes!” He felt he said it too excitedly and wanted to just slam his head against a table and hide, but he couldn’t not with Momoko resting against his shoulder and not with Yoji’s arm around him.

            Both of them laughed, but it wasn’t condescending.

            “Believe it or not, my first kiss was with Momoko, but she’s kissed lots of people before…” This warranted a giggle from Momoko.

            “I like to kiss people okay!”

            Yoji rolled his eyes and gave her a kiss on the forehead before continuing.

“Anyways, we kind of already decided I’d get to kiss you first. If that was okay.”

            They had talked about it.

            Together.

            They had talked about it together.

            Ichimatsu felt overwhelmed, he felt like he could sink into the floor and disappear out of embarrassment and happiness.

            How do you handle someone asking you to let them kiss you?

            He couldn’t even speak to answer Yoji’s question and nodded slowly instead, looking at his hands that were clenching the fabric of his pajama pants.

            You don’t even know what you’re doing.

            But Yoji did, and he held Ichimatsu’s face gently when he finally did kiss him. Ichimatsu’s thoughts went in a panic at first, but the panic was good and when they settled he decided he liked it, it was warm and familiar and it settled his worried thoughts. They stayed like that for a few long moments and Ichimatsu could hear his heart drumming in his chest.

            “Yooooojiiiii, it’s my turn now,” Momoko pouted in the background.

            When Yoji decided he was done, Momoko slapped his arm before pulling Ichimatsu to herself, excitedly pressing their mouths together. She bounced like she had been looking forward to it for a long time, and their teeth clashed a few times because she couldn’t quite get it right, but it was good all the same. Ichimatsu’s heart continue to drum away, and where Yoji was warm and familiar, Momoko was energetic and intense in just the right way.

            He definitely liked the attention. He definitely liked the affection.

            And then Yoji and Momoko were kissing because of course they would, but Ichimatsu didn’t feel jealous. They all spent the rest of the night kissing and laughing, like they were love-struck teenagers, until they fell asleep against each other.

Chapter Text

Things weren’t always good.

            Ichimatsu got disgustingly jealous and possessive sometimes, every day making him feel more and more attached to both Yoji and Momoko. But the attachment backfired and sometimes he’d snap for little things, little transgressions that he was sure neither of them meant but it still sent him in a self-loathing spiral. Sometimes he even felt like he hated them, just for the little ways that they wronged him. Sometimes he adored them more than anything, just because they showed him the smallest gesture of kindness and love.

            He hated that it happened. He hated that he couldn’t help the way he got upset when Yoji would come home late without letting anyone know or the way Momoko wouldn’t answer her phone when she was out and Ichimatsu needed her. He hated that things that didn’t need to be an issue became an issue because his fucked up head didn’t let him process his emotions properly. What should’ve been mild and forgivable annoyances were always major offenses that set him off.

            But they were so patient and forgiving and he couldn’t help cycling between hating their guts and adoring them with all he had. They were never just people with flaws and faults that he loved, they were people who were sometimes cruel and evil towards him and they were people he couldn’t help but place on a pedestal. There was no in between.

            They both know that Ichimatsu had borderline, they both knew what to expect of his behavior. They could take it to a certain point, but they were human and they got mad too. When Ichimatsu would get upset and isolate himself, instead of trying to fix things, Momoko would ignore him for a day or two, not wanting to deal with the situation. And that made Ichimatsu anxious and worried, but angrier still because how dare she leave him when all he wanted was her undivided attention. When Ichimatsu would get angry and snap at Yoji, sometimes Yoji wouldn’t try to make it up to him and instead would snap right back. It drove Ichimatsu up the wall because how dare he not apologize for wronging him, how dare he get angry at him. It was all because they secretly hated him, or that’s what he constantly thought.

            Even if they were happy for the most part, there were still moments where things weren’t working out. It wasn’t until those moments became more and more frequent did any of them worry.

            Sometimes he’d run to his siblings when he was having problems with Yoji or Momoko, latching on to any of them who’d hear him out. But they’d always tell him he was being irrational and unfair, and that would piss him off too, leading to him to ignoring their messages or hanging up the phone because he didn’t want to hear that he was a terrible person. Even though he knew full well that they were right.

            Ichimatsu knew that a lot of it stemmed from his own inability to have normal reactions. Even if the other two would never blame him, there came a point where he knew things would be better if he could just control his symptoms. It wasn’t that being mentally ill was wrong, but he knew that it was affecting everything and he couldn’t just let it destroy what they had.

            If you don’t fix it, they’ll leave you.

            If they left him, he’d die from loneliness.

            It took months of slamming doors, silent treatments, and passive aggressive remarks before Ichimatsu could even build the courage to raise the topic, unsure of how to approach it without Yoji or Momoko insisting that there was nothing wrong with Ichimatsu and he didn’t have to fix anything.

            If they didn’t know that they were wrong, Ichimatsu did.

            “I need to get help,” he said in the middle of a painfully silent dinner. Just before, he had snapped at Yoji for the way he sighed about Ichimatsu leaving the dirty dishes in the sink all day, so the air was tense. Ichimatsu’s words cut right through it.

            “What do you mean?” Momoko asked, looking at Ichimatsu with curious eyes.

            “I need to get help for this whole… thing going on with me.” He knew that he was talking about his personality disorder, they probably knew too, but he was always afraid to bring it up. Afraid that saying it out loud would make them realize he was awful and they’d leave.

            “Ichimatsu, there’s nothing—” Yoji started, already reaching over to grab Ichimatsu’s hand in an effort to ask for forgiveness and offer comfort at the same time.

            “No, listen to me.”

            He wanted to stop talking, forget the conversation and try to go on as close to normal as possible.

            “I appreciate that you two really try to put up with me. I know I’m stressful. I know that I don’t make sense. And I appreciate that you always try to work with me, even when I’m being completely irrational.”

            But the more words he got out, the better he felt. Even if one part of his mind was telling him to hide all the ugly parts of him so no one would ever leave.

            Own up to your flaws.

            “But we all know that there’s a certain limit we all have. I know that I cause a lot of problems. I know I do. It hurts… knowing that I’m just unstable and cause problems, but I think it’ll hurt more if we ignore it. So I need help. I need to do something. I just don’t know what.”

            They’ll help you if they care.

            After what seemed like a long moment of thoughtful silence, Momoko cleared her throat.

            “I know you don’t like the idea, but you could try… therapy maybe?”

            You need therapy.

            What a disgusting freak.

            They know that you’re fucked up.

            This was a mistake.

            “It’s not wrong to get therapy, Ichimatsu. I think that might be the help you need, but you don’t have to until you’re ready,” Yoji added immediately reading Ichimatsu’s worried face at the mention of therapy.

            “We can look up different types of counseling and therapy and see what would work best.”

            “I’m just afraid that you’ll realize how fucked up I am and that you’ll leave.” He didn’t want to say it, but he did. He didn’t want to tell them his feelings, but he did.

            Don’t leave because of this.

            “Ichimatsu, I’m proud of you for being able to acknowledge that you need help. And there’s nothing wrong with getting it. I’m glad you can talk to us, and I know we both want you to be able to talk to us about anything. Therapy might not be comfortable, but it might be something you have to do, no matter how unpleasant it sounds.”

            “Anything at all. Even if it seems like a small thing to be worked up about, all we want is to understand and help you. We can’t do that if you can’t open up, and maybe getting therapy will help you be able to talk about it more. It doesn’t have to happen all at once. Getting better starts with baby steps. We’ll help you with those baby steps.”

Momoko was always the first to tell Ichimatsu how proud she was of him. For any little thing. If it was a week where Ichimatsu just couldn’t function right, she’d even be proud of him for taking a shower or for remembering to eat. Her enthusiastic support was something Ichimatsu would always have. And she was the one to push him to do things out of his comfort zone, to do more than he wants and keep going. Yoji was gentle reassurance. When Momoko’s pushing of Ichimatsu’s boundaries was too much, Yoji knew how to let him know it was okay if things were hard and to always do things at his own pace. He’d never make Ichimatsu feel less than for being unable to do simple things. Momoko was the one that helped him accomplish more and Yoji was the one who would reassure him that it was okay if he couldn’t.

They were both the type of people Ichimatsu needed. The type of people that would go through anything for Ichimatsu and for each other. They balanced each other out and balanced Ichimatsu out.

Ichimatsu would do anything for them too.

He’d do anything for Momoko, who always told Ichimatsu about the different cats she saw on her way home and asked if Ichimatsu had met them before. Who would bring little desserts and treats for all three of them, and then smear whipped cream across their faces. Who’d always ask for their opinions about her novel, reading Ichimatsu’s favorite chapters to him out loud when he laid with his head in her lap.

            He’d do anything for Yoji, who took time out his busy work day to send good morning and good afternoon texts to Ichimatsu and Momoko, and call when he had a free moment to see how they were doing. Who would send them pictures of things that reminded him of them, always adding hearts and smiles. Who would let Ichimatsu nap against him for hours without disturbing him, running his fingers through his hair instead.

The three of them weren’t perfect. Even if Ichimatsu got better, things would still go wrong and arguments would still happen.

            But he’d do whatever he could to keep them with him as long as possible.

Chapter Text

Being with people who love and support you makes navigating through life easier.

            Ichimatsu had come to learn this.

            After a year of Ichimatsu going through therapy and coming up on the trio’s two year anniversary, they celebrated with a big, expensive dinner, just them. That was the year Ichimatsu got a better paying job, as an animal care attendant at a local cat shelter. It was something he looked forward to, something he truly enjoyed, something he did well at, and something he could continue to move up in.

After three years, they went on a trip abroad together. That was the year Momoko got published, and with the extra money, she took them to travel, wanting to live the life she’d dream of when she was younger, even if it was temporary. She continued to write after, promising that she’d give them opportunity to travel again.

After four years, they bought a house together. That was the year Yoji got a job as a game developer, after working tirelessly interning, bettering his portfolio, bettering his work. His salary helped them get the house that they loved, one with plenty of room for Ichimatsu’s many cats and a master bedroom big enough to fit a bed the three could comfortably share.

They stayed together for years and years, the three of them. Happy and successful in ways they never thought they’d be.

            Ichimatsu never thought he’d reach that point. All his life, Ichimatsu thought he’d end up homeless, a criminal, and an outcast with no place in society. His siblings had always had a much better chance than he ever did. That’s what he thought for years.

            Thankfully he was wrong.

            He’d never want to admit it, but Yoji and Momoko saved his life. People often try to act like having other people save you is selfish, impractical, and not right. One should save themselves. But some people need the support, the push, and a reason to better themselves. Ichimatsu found his.

            Without Yoji and Momoko, Ichimatsu would’ve never gotten this far.

            It wasn’t so much that they saved him, but rather they gave him the tools and support to help him help himself.

            And every year with them was another year with two of the most important people of his life. Every day was another where he could see and enjoy their presence, growing together and loving together. Every night was a night he slept peacefully, listening to the steady heartbeats of his partners. Every moment was treasured. And he finally found his place.

Momoko was the sun, always bright and shining. She was the vibrant light in their relationship, the adventure-seeker. Yoji was the stars, a gentle guiding light in the dark, always present even when unseen. He was certainty and confidence, who kept them grounded. And Ichimatsu, who had been among the shadows for so long was now illuminated by their light. He was the moon, completing their sky.