Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Fel?”

“No.”

“I didn’t even say anything yet!” Timur frowned. He swore Felwinter could read his mind sometimes. 

This was a good time. 

It should have been a good time. 

Felwinter was definitely in a good mood, and there was no way he could have known what Timur was about to broach. He’d said nothing. He’d been particularly careful not to say anything that would give him away ahead of time and give his lover time to prepare an argument. 

“You’re making that face. I can hear it in your voice. Whatever you’re going to say I already don’t like it. The answer is no.”

Timur heaved in an enormous breath and held it, perturbed. 

“I don’t know if I should be touched that you know me so well or mad as hell,” Timur said, petulant.  Felwinter snorted. 

“Now I’m really worried,” he said dryly. “Especially after you’ve gone out of your way to butter me up first.” 

Timur balked.

“Inviting you to bed was not to butter you up,” he huffed, a little hurt. “I missed you. I wanted to be with you. And never mind. I want this to be nice. Stay nice. Please.” 

He turned, curling in tight against Felwinter’s chest, hugging him.  In the height of passion, the tick of Felwinter’s fan had seemed nearly deafening to Timur, but even now in calmness, pressed tight to his partner’s body, he could hear it. It worried him. Noticing Timur’s tone, Felwinter dropped into a thoughtful silence. 

“I didn’t mean to snipe,” he said softly at last. He’d draped an arm over Timur’s back, and was stroking his bare skin slowly, apologetic. “I… You’re not playing. This is important and I misunderstood.” A statement, not a question as Felwinter correctly read Timur a little too late. 

“Yes,” Timur said softly, laying a kiss over the jut of Felwinter’s clavicle. 

“I’m sorry,” Felwinter whispered. “Tell me?” 

Timur hesitated. It really wasn’t good timing. Surely he could have waited. They were happy. And not only would his observation unsettle Felwinter, but surely his proposed solution would only worsen things. 

“Perhaps I should wait,” Timur said, hesitant. “I had poor timing.”

“Timur.”

Timur’s arms tightened around Felwinter’s middle. 

“This is unlike you. I know I should trust you more,” Felwinter murmured. 

“You do,” Timur said softly. “We’ve come a long way.  And… I need to go easier on you sometimes. I don’t need to hassle you constantly just to shake you up,” he went on, thinking of the recent scare with Felwinter and Osiris. It had taken them nearly a week before they even given word to Timur where they’d run off to. He'd started to genuinely worry that they weren't coming home. Everyone had.
"It...wouldn't hurt, sometimes," Felwinter breathed. Timur heaved a huge sigh, frustrated.

It was too late, he realized glumly. The mood had gotten heavy. He groaned to himself.

"You feel that?" He whispered.

"Yes. Just say it already," Felwinter sighed in reply. Timur drew in a slow breath.

"You're ticking," Timur said. "One of your fans." He taped Felwinter's chest with a fingertip. "We need to fix it before it becomes a problem."

"Will it?"

"Eventually. It's making that noise because it's coming in contact with something it shouldn't," Timur said. "It's bumping a wire, maybe, or one of the blades is coming in contact with its casing, or another structure. Hard to say for sure not knowing the details of how things are set up in there. Best case, something inconvenient breaks, or the fan just stops working and you lose cooling efficiency. Worst..." He tipped his head, thinking. "Dunno. It's a wire and it's something critical, or there's a short, or a fire, or the blade is hitting something more solid and the whole fan blows apart. Maybe there's shrapnel. Maybe the motor just seizes but you have a critical overheat, or a tripped breaker..." He took another slow, calming breath. "I suppose it's not anything a rez won't fix but who's to say for sure...We’ve had things that didn’t resolve before, and I'd bet my favorite pipe whatever happens, it won't be convenient if we wait for it to break on its own..."

He trailed off, losing steam in the face of Felwinter's silence and the long, contemplative stare his lover was giving him.

Felwinter was like this, Timur reminded himself. This is what he did. This wasn't any different than normal. 

Just be patient. 

Timur was trying, but something about this made him anxious. This was different from fixing a subdermal short, or a damaged joint. He was going to have to partially dissect Felwinter to get to the troubled components this time and they both knew it. He didn't know what would be worse: If Felwinter rejected him, or if he accepted.

"You think you can do it?" Felwinter asked softly. Timur nodded hesitantly. "I'll know more when I see but... I think so. I uh. Won't have to go far before I know, I don't think," he said cautiously. This wasn't time for bravado. If he blew this, it could be catastrophic.

Felwinter was quiet again as he considered this. He held Timur's gaze, his stare passive, but piercing. Timur fought the urge to squirm, hating how Felwinter's eyes could cut skin and muscle like a scalpel, opening him up. 

Tit for Tat, he supposed. 

"Alright." He sat up, Timur's blankets sliding down to pool around his hips, determination in his voice. "Let's do this." 

For a moment, Timur stayed where he lay, surprised.

"N-now?"

"I want to get it over with before I lose my nerve," Felwinter confessed. "It's... The notion is disconcerting." 

Timur sat up quickly and slid out of bed.

"Yep! Totally agree!" He gasped, getting dressed quickly. Felwinter stood as well, but looked questioningly back at the other Warlock. Timur looked up from buttoning his pants. "Keep your shirt off," he said. "The rest is up to you."

Felwinter dragged a blanket off the bed with him, wrapping it around his shoulders. If Timur asked he'd claim the Warlock's workshop was cold, but he could breathe in the taste of sweet tobacco and his friend's cologne off of the fabric and it soothed the flighty, nervous rush of anxiety as Timur crossed his cramped and cluttered quarters to unlock the door leading into his much larger but no less cluttered workshop.

Usually cluttered.

"You planned this," Felwinter said. 

He'd never seen the space so tidy. Projects were arranged neatly in a row on the back workbench, tools were put away and organized. The floor had been swept. There was a clean sheet over the big workbench in the center of the open space, keeping it clear of dust and other stray particulates.

"I've been worrying a bit, yeah," Timur confessed. He gathered the sheet up carefully and laid it aside out of the way. He looked back at Felwinter, first meeting his eyes, then finally taking in that the Exo had stolen his blanket. "Comfortable?" He chuckled, patting the work table.

"For now," Felwinter drawled, hopping up onto the high table with an easy bound, his Light lifting him effortlessly. He sat on the edge, legs dangling, and let the blanket sag low around his middle, baring his chest and shoulders. "I suspect this may change," he rasped, a little hiss of tense static escaping into his voice.

"Yeah, I think so," Timur admitted, gently catching Felwinter's legs under one arm and hoisting them up the rest of the way, turning him. He could have just asked Felwinter to move, but his lover didn't protest the minor infraction on his autonomy, and Timur relaxed just a shade. The unspoken concession was a small, but critical, one. 

Timur leaned in, kissing Felwinter's bare shin where his leg escaped the cocoon of the blanket, reverent and grateful. Felwinter's hand came up, touching his jaw lightly, and he straightened up and reached high overhead to pull down one of the few electric lamps in the temple, pointing a bright spotlight over the workspace. "Alright baby, lay down for me," he said, nudging Felwinter's shoulder slightly. Felwinter gave Timur an even look, then laid back slowly. Timur pulled the blanket out flat beneath him as a bit of a barrier between his love and the cold stainless steel worktop, stealing one more kiss as he did. 

Felwinter let out a long, deliberate breath, fighting to keep his nerves settled, and shuttered his eyes into a squint against the bright light overhead. It might have worked a little, but sure enough, a moment later that steady tick of the troubled fan became unignorably audible. His jaw set as he cracked his eyes back open, giving Timur a long look, unnerved.

"Well, that'll make it easier to find at least," Timur chuffed wryly, stepping away to bring over one of his most delicate tool kits, which he brought back and set at Felwinter's shoulder. "Maybe now I can get at it without peeling off every one of your panels trying to hunt it down..." He flashed Felwinter a smile, but unsurprisingly, Felwinter was too tense to take the tease. 

Timur smiled thinly, and ran his hand over his love's forehead. Felwinter shuttered his eyes entirely with a slow puff of warm air through the vents in his chest. 

"That's it," Timur soothed. "I've got you." He leaned down, and pressed his ear to Felwinter's chest, listening for that persistent tick, loud under his ear, and moved, focusing in on the origin of the sound until he had a pretty sure idea of where it was located within Felwinter. "Here..." He tapped the armored plating, heard the noise stutter briefly, and nodded as he straightened up, pulling the lamp down closer. With the light off his face, Felwinter opened his eyes again, watching Timur closely.

"Now I just need to find..." He caressed Felwinter's chest with both hands. This was not a sensual touch, however, but a manual search as he felt for a nearly invisible seam. When he found it and the equally tiny, nearly invisible fasteners that would allow him access to his friend's insides, he let out a happy gasp of triumph. "There!" He bent down, squinting as he looked closely, then selected one of his most delicate tools for the job. "Whoever engineered you did fine work, my friend," he said appreciatively. 

Felwinter snorted softly.

"How would you know," he chuckled, voice hoarse with static as he struggled to ignore what his lover was doing as Timur carefully dug the tool into his body, loosening something. "Maybe that's an enormous seam gap. Maybe I barely passed inspection." 

Timur caught the fastener as it released and deposited it into a multi-chambered box with a soft rattle.

"Preposterous," Timur huffed. "You are immaculate. I refuse to believe anything else."

"Which is why I have a fan failing." Felwinter's tease was feeble, but encouraging given the situation.

"Shush," Timur grumbled, carefully picking out another fastener. The panel shifted and Felwinter gasped, stiffening. "Easy," Timur cooed. "That's just me." He pressed his palm down firmly onto Felwinter's chest, holding the panel in place as he went for the next clasp. "Couple more."

Felwinter relaxed slowly.

"That felt really strange," he said, shaken.

"I would think so," Timur murmured, focused. "I didn't expect it to shift yet, I'm sorry. I'm holding it down now so we won't have another surprise before you're ready."

"Thank you."

"Hand up for a sec?" Timur enlisted Felwinter's convenient assistance briefly as he worked. "Right here. Perfect. Press a little more. Yeah," Timur guided Felwinter's hand to where his own had been, applying pressure to hold everything down while he collected the last fastener, then he set aside the tool and took over. "I've got it now," he promised, and Felwinter pulled his hand away. "Ready?" He asked, looking over to meet Felwinter's eyes. 

He had to fight down a grimace. Felwinter's optics had dimmed to a strange pale peach color. In all the centuries he'd known the Exo he'd never before seen him do anything even remotely close. Thinking back later he'd wonder if this was what nausea looked like on an Exo. He never got the courage to bring it up with Felwinter to ask. 

"You okay?" He blurted, his hand still planted firmly on Felwinter's chest.

"Yes..." Felwinter breathed. He spoke clearly enough but something about his tone didn't sound okay, Timur thought. He frowned. "Just keep going so I can get this over with," Felwinter pushed, noting Timur's hesitation. Timur nodded. He got it.

"Okay, panel's coming off in three, two-"

"Just off," Felwinter said, wincing when the words came out terse, but Timur simply adjusted his hands, working his fingers into the gap that formed when he released the pressure, and lifted carefully.

Felwinter let out a loud, stuttering gasp, his spine arching enough to lift his back off the table briefly.

"Fel?!" Timur blanched, horrified.

"I'm fine," Felwinter ground.

"You don't sound fine."

"That felt really strange. I'm fine now." Felwinter really didn't sound fine, his voice shaking and fizzing with static, but Timur nodded in acceptance and carefully set the armor paneling aside.

"That's goo- wow ." He looked down, into the exposed inner workings of the Exo, and for a moment, Timur could only stare. He could see right down through layers of components: bands of synthetic muscle like what was visible on the surface here and there, cabling, titanium skeletal structure, the billow of an artificial lung tucked in deep behind a bundle of wires, coolant lines, pipes and stacks of circuit boards and electronic components, some of which looked familiar to Timur, some of which were virtually alien. 

Nestled behind the wires and muscle, laid out all in a tidy row stood a line of slim cooling fans, now spinning at what was very likely top speed. Heat radiated from Felwinter's exposed core in waves, his body hot from far too much stress. Timur felt his throat close and his eyes start to sting as he wrestled with the battling wonder and woe of seeing his best friend- the love of his life's- insides in a way they were never meant to be witnessed.

"...Timur?"

Lights flickered through Felwinter's chest as he spoke. The artificial lungs shifted, expanding slightly, adding human expression to an electronic voice. Timur shook himself and tore his stare away to look back into Felwinter's too-pale eyes.

"Sorry," he gasped, looking away. "I'm-"

"Dream come true?" Felwinter huffed, his voice thin and wry but gentle.

"No!" Timur groaned. "I mean. Yes... But no . I don't want this for you. I can see, you know-" he picked up a small stylus, raising his hands over Felwinter's chest with a somewhat exaggerated gesture, going in slowly so that his friend could prepare himself. 

"-I don't know if you'll feel this or not but I have to push some wires and stuff around a little-" He waited for Felwinter to nod before continuing. "I can see how uncomfortable you are. I don't want that. I don't-" He cut off as, nudging some of the bands of muscle gently with his knuckles, Felwinter jumped, fans whizzing. "Wow. I'm. Shit. " Timur struggled with his words, suddenly terribly overwhelmed. "This isn't just-" he waved his free hand broadly, "-me fooling around with a panel off your hand or something. I don't-" He cut off, deciding not to say what he was thinking: I don't like the idea of vivisecting my loved ones. It was too dark, even for Felwinter. 

Not right now. 

Maybe when he had him put back together and back in bed recovering with a neck rub and some cuddles.

"I get it," Felwinter said softly. "Keep going. Let's just... I'll tell you if it's bad. It's strange. But I'll say so if it feels wrong."

"Thank you," Timur whispered. He pried his eyes off of Felwinter's face and looked back at his exposed insides, drawing in a slow breath. "We'll get this over with. I promise I won't mess around with you."

"I know you won't," Felwinter breathed. "I… can see too."

Timur swallowed a lump in his throat.

He knew he had the technical skill to do this, but he couldn't help but think he'd bitten off more than he could chew, regardless. He gripped the edge of the table with his free hand, refusing to let it shake as he took another deep breath, trying to focus.

He tore his eyes off of Felwinter's face, dragging his toolkit over a little closer, and then steeled himself for the job at hand.

"Alright. Tell me if I need to pause or slow down. I can roll with it if you need to react but try not to move too much. I don't want to mess up anything else by accident.," he said, serious.

"Understood," Felwinter rasped, and the sternness in his voice was reassuring. It felt like a mission. It felt like they were preparing for battle, knowing they were a fireteam, and damn good one at that. Partners . 

They had centuries of experience reading each other and watching each other's backs. They'd gotten through tougher with less before and they'd do it again and this time tomorrow this would just be another notch in their belt of weird and wild accomplishments together. 

Once again he reached into Felwinter's body and very carefully began to push muscle and wiring aside so that he could get a better look at what was going on deeper within. Felwinter tensed, his knees rising slightly, but he kept carefully still where it mattered. Timur couldn't help but feel a warm surge of pride for his lover: Felwinter's self-control was indomitable. Satisfied Felwinter wasn't going to crawl off the workbench, he pushed a little harder, the Exo issuing a soft moan just as Timur finally achieved a clear view of all of the fans.

"Easy, baby," Timur murmured, reaching in carefully with his free hand, eyeing the connections and mounts. "Hey-" He barely had to say anything before his Ghost appeared at his shoulder, shining a light in for him. Timur turned his head, bumping it with his forehead gently with a grateful smile. "You're a peach," he cooed, returning to the task at hand. 

"Remind me to research an upgrade for you, Fel," he said, checking an attachment point. Felwinter shuddered. "These things are kind of... hm..." He didn't want to say 'flimsy' or 'pathetic' when they were his friend's body . "Well I don't know if they were really intended to last hundreds and hundreds of years for one," he said instead.

Felwinter was squinting at him, probably trying to glare but too shaken to manage it.

"No, Timur," he wheezed. "I think we're doing enou-AH!" Timur had put his finger into the ticking fan, stopping it. " Timur !" Felwinter gasped, squirming, his fingers scrabbling against the stainless steel worktop, unconsciously seeking something to grip onto.

Timur yanked his hand away and Felwinter lay tense and shivering, his eyes wide and bright white again, speechless.

"Did I hurt you?!" Timur yelped, alarmed. Felwinter didn't respond immediately, his eyes dimming back to that weird, pale color again as they rolled slowly to look back at him without the Exo turning his head.

" No ," Felwinter rasped, twitching faintly. He made a grinding sound in his throat. "It... didn't hurt."

He drew in a deliberate, heaving breath, deep enough that his chest rose, and held it until the shivering stopped, and visibly forced the tension out of his shoulders. 

"That was not pain, Timur," Felwinter clarified, calmer. Barely. Timur's ears turned pink.

"Oh."

"If you don't need to do that, please do not repeat it," Felwinter clipped. Timur nodded. "There was a tangible surge."

"I won't. I'm going to disconnect it now," he said, going back in. There was a building of pressure, tension, and a strange release that made Felwinter gasp, and then nothing where there had been something. The Exo blew out a sigh. "Gives me some fun ideas for later, though," Timur said with a smile, wiggling his fingers at his lover. Felwinter gave him a dirty squint.

"Too soon," he huffed.

"Only just," Timur soothed. "Hey," he turned to his Ghost, still hovering faithfully at his shoulder. "Can you get one of the coolers on him?" The Ghost bobbed and zipped off across the workshop. "You're probably fine down just one especially with this much uh, air cooling, but I don't want to risk baking you on accident with you so stressed," Timur told Felwinter. "You're really toasty in here," he added a bit too brightly. He'd already burned his finger against the bare alloy of a rib badly enough to blister, though there was no way in hell he was going to tell Felwinter that.

He returned to examining the now disabled fan, fiddling with the attachment (and trying really hard to ignore the little gasps and moans from Felwinter now that he had a better understanding of what the sounds meant ), carefully detaching it and tugging it loose just as his Ghost deposited an upright fan at his elbow. He passed it over Felwinter's torso, starting it up and angling the stream of chilled air right into Felwinter's exposed insides. The hot air flowing out of him cooled immediately. Felwinter seemed to cough.

"Now that is strange," he commented, shuddering.

"Distracted you from this, though," Timur said, holding the problematic fan up in both hands. He'd worked it out of Felwinter's body without further disturbances. Felwinter blinked, surprised. Timur's Ghost kindly nudged the cooler slightly to angle the flow into something not quite as disruptively direct, and Felwinter let out a soft groan of relief.

"See anything?" Felwinter asked. He’d raised one trembling hand, and his fingertips traced the edge of the access panel leading into the open void in his body, but he didn't dare explore himself any deeper than that.

"Yeah, the blade's broken up a bit and it looks like it's all off balance now." Timur held it level and tapped the fan blade, allowing them both to hear the familiar tick-tap as it wobbled and struck the bottom of the case housing it.

"Can't repair that..." Felwinter murmured.

"Nuh, not reasonably," Timur agreed. "But I can replace it." He was already working the protective mesh cover off, and soon had plucked the propeller out. He looked back to Felwinter and offered him his most reassuring smile. "You'll have to sit tight for a few," he said, pulling a loose tail of his blanket up over Felwinter, covering his shoulders.

"I know you don't have spare Exo parts laying around," Felwinter mumbled, squinting at him. Timur laughed.

"No, I don't!" He said. "But I can machine you a new one with this one available to copy." He looked into Felwinter's eyes for a moment, then leaned down, kissing his forehead. "So just rest for a bit while I work this up."

Felwinter stared up at him for a long moment, but then nodded and closed his eyes in acceptance.

He was stressed, his head was in knots, and he was exhausted.

He trusted Timur with his life. He didn’t need to be involved in whatever Timur needed to do.

"Thank you," he murmured.

Timur smiled, kissing Felwinter one more time before straightening up and stepping away to get to work.

When you had a handful of centuries to practice, you could become a master craftsman at just about anything whether you'd intended to or not. Timur's knack for engineering and electronics had kept him hyperfixated from the beginning, driving him to strive for mastery well within a normal lifetime. With his lust for knowledge and his joy in creation, he hadn't been satisfied to stop there, and he'd continued to study and practice his art for the duration.

These days, what he could create with a sheet of aluminum and the right tools (and probably even the wrong ones) was only limited by his expansive imagination and regrettably far more restricted resources.

It was a walk in the park for Timur to replicate the fairly simple scalloped shape of the fan blade and the somewhat more complicated multi-directional curves of the individual whorls of each arm. Because he was a showoff, and a perfectionist at least for Felwinter, he'd even carefully matched the weight measurements as well. In fact, a little extra sanding had just helped him burn off some of the anxious energy he’d been bottling for his friend’s sake.

Now, glancing over at his motionless lover as Felwinter rested, he took pause for one final finishing touch on the replacement part before he reassembled the unit.

The love note, written somewhat precariously in fountain ink and secured with clear sealant, would likely never ever be seen by anyone. Felwinter would surely never know of it, but Timur felt a little better about the tiny ache that had started to form behind his ribs recently knowing that, in a way, Felwinter would now always carry his true feelings with him, even if Timur had long since resigned to never say them aloud. He let the sealant dry and the air clear, and then, after lovingly reassembling everything, he returned to Felwinter.

"Hey..." He touched Felwinter's wrist lightly, noting the Exo's dim eyes and absent expression. Felwinter startled slightly, the light snapping back into his optics as he turned his head sharply to look at Timur. He blinked and relaxed again immediately.

"Did you fall asleep like this?" Timur asked, amazed.

"Better than sitting here thinking," Felwinter rasped. Timur looked Felwinter over, with his partially disassembled chest, the tension holding his shoulders up too high to be comfortable, and the persisting odd color to his eyes, and conceded the Exo probably had the right idea.

"Can't argue with you there," he said. "You ready for this?" He brandished the repaired part. "Or would you like to rest a little longer? It...yep." He held a hand over Felwinter's exposed chest. "Feels like you've cooled down a bit resting so I don't see why it would hurt if you need more time."

"No. I want this over with," Felwinter said. Then he sighed. His words had come out sharp, impatient, and clipped with an iciness he did not tend to aim at Timur. Timur's face softened sympathetically as Felwinter immediately apologized. "I'm sorry," he groaned, feeling frayed. "This is... taxing."

"I understand," Timur said quietly, patting Felwinter's arm gently. "I don't blame you, and you know you're going to have to try harder than that to chase me off. Don't worry about it."

Felwinter issued a soft, dry laugh.

"I do keep trying," he quipped. Timur tittered, grinning.

"Save your energy!" he chuckled. Felwinter snorted, and let his head fall back, his eyes going dim again before shuttering entirely. Timur laughed softly, unable to resist running his palm lightly over Felwinter's forehead in an achingly affectionate caress. "Well I didn't mean now but if you think you can nap through this, too, go for it," he said. Felwinter didn't bother opening his eyes again.

"I doubt it," Felwinter sighed. "Hurry up, I'm trying to stay calm."

"You don't have to," Timur said gently. Felwinter's jaw set tightly and Timur could feel the oncoming protest. "Don't worry about it," he said, laying a hand over a portion of Felwinter's chest that was still closed. "Do what you need to," he went on, just not letting him have the time to talk or worry now. "And I'll get this done as quick as I can."

That was all the warning he gave as he reached back into his lover's body, gently nudging aside strips of synthetic muscle and wires again with a careful touch. Felwinter twitched, hissed, arched... his knees rose, the soles of his feet planting onto the worktable, the Exo bracing as if he were getting ready to throw himself away from Timur.

"Easy, baby," Timur soothed. He pushed everything a little more firmly aside, unable to help but notice how poor Felwinter's toes curled, and worked the repaired fan back into his body as delicately as he could, careful not to bump or scrape against anything too much as he was going in. Heaven only knew what was sensitive and what wasn't. Timur certainly didn't. He already found it borderline cruel that Felwinter could feel as much as he did. 

He tried not to think too hard on the time they'd been in a similar, but swapped situation, Felwinter somewhat callously stuffing Timur's insides back where they belonged until he could carry him clear of a particularly vicious fight long enough to safely rez him. Cold with shock and fading far more slowly than he'd cared for, Timur had taken solace in noting how he'd at least felt little more of this than a strange, shifting pressure.

" Timur ," Felwinter moaned, snapping Timur's focus back.

"Too much?" he rushed. Felwinter's other fans were roaring, his lungs visibly taut with air as he panted softly. Timur swallowed his oath. Something inside the Exo was slowly burning his knuckles. He almost had the fan seated.

Felwinter made a thin sound of affirmation and nodded, and Timur left it partially mounted and pulled his hands away as quickly as he dared.

Felwinter heaved out a huge gust of air, shuddering.

"Feel a little sick," he admitted, voice faint and strange with stress and oozing discomfort.

"Keep the air cycling love," Timur said, bending low to kiss Felwinter's head slowly, caressing his face. "Good news is I've just about got it back where it belongs so I shouldn't have to rummage around in there too much now. Felwinter's vents blew hot air in puffs, and he sucked in and exhaled several careful, shuddering breaths and nodded against Timur's lips.

"Good." For the next minute or two, he said nothing, still laying there with his eyes shuttered, trying to breath his way into calm. Timur could see the moment his focus shifted, the air cutting off and his lungs collapsing back down into disuse. "It... Almost feels... Hh..." He shifted, then shook his head.

"Oh no, don't tease me with a mystery like that you asshole," Timur chuckled fondly, hoping to distract his friend with a little teasing. "Almost feels what?" Felwinter hesitated nearly another half-minute before he convinced himself to answer.

"Nice. If...If you were gentler..." He barely whispered the words, his voice small. “ Almost. ”

Timur's eyebrows shot up. He wasn't all that surprised, thinking about it. In fact, he couldn’t help but think of Felwinter getting that little buzz earlier as well. What shocked him was how embarrassed he seemed about it. He didn't know a single Risen without at least a stout handful of weird kinks, himself and Felwinter already included, and for more than a fair few, that included some degree of masochism or worse.

He saw a little glimpse of light crack through Felwinter's eyelids and quickly schooled his face into something more neutral.

"Huh," he said as Felwinter snuck a peek at him. "Maybe... once I get you taken care of here, we can test that out a little if you're not ready to scream from all the rest of it." Felwinter opened his mouth to reply, but then said nothing instead. The too-pale light of his eyes vanished again.

"Don't know," he said stiffly, uncomfortable, his already greatly strained sense of humor dried up. "Keep going." Timur nodded, even if Felwinter couldn't see him.

"You got it," he said. "Just a nudge..." he warned this time.

“Just get it in there,” Felwinter urged, bordering on demanding now. “Dragging things out trying to be gentle is making it worse.”

Timur swallowed a little sickly but nodded. 

“Okay babe,” he murmured. “Then grab onto something.” Felwinter did indeed grab the edge of the table, his grip rigid, and Timur reached back into his lover’s body. 

The fan seated with a satisfying click and a rising shout from Felwinter that broke into static and left the Exo panting and twitching for nearly a minute as he held onto the table top like he might fall off. Timur watched in morbid fascination through it all as Felwinter’s systems struggled to reconcile the shock, but the repaired fan did its job in perfect silence with its brethren and eventually, Felwinter was able to once again shudder his way to a tremulous state of calm. Timur didn't wait for him to settle, instead working with his lover's movements to get the armored covering secured back down over Felwinter's heaving chest, one palm planted firmly over it as he quickly worked the fasteners back into place.

By then Felwinter had sagged back onto the table, venting hard and staring dazedly up at Timur. Timur rubbed his finally whole again chest with both hands, buffing heat and gentle sensation back into his dermal sensors with his palms.

"All done," he breathed, bending low to lay a slow kiss over Felwinter's breastplate. "We made it." Felwinter let out a hard gust of air, a shaking groan escaping with it.

"Good."

"Are you alright?" Timur asked, lifting his head just high enough to stare into Felwinter's eyes searchingly. He continued to caress the Exo's chest slowly, each warm sweep of his palms going a little wider until he was gripping his shoulders and biceps, hands sliding up the sides of his neck to cup his jaw and cheeks, his fingers tickling his temples. Felwinter's faceted eyelids dipped and fluttered at the soothing touches, the lights of his eyes dimming, but also finally deepening to a more reassuring hue of red.

Felwinter nodded.

"Yes. Thanks to you," he croaked, voice still rough with tension slow to dissipate. His hand slipped off the table and caught Timur low around the back, pulling him in close. "I didn't like it... but I never doubted you."

It was true. That much, Timur could absolutely tell without a shadow of a doubt.

His throat closed, a strained, wet sort of sound catching behind the Stormtrancer's tonsils.

Timur couldn't take it. He gave Felwinter a little shove, the Voidwalker sliding further onto the table easily with the blanket under him, and then Timur was up alongside him, tools rattling and scattering with a cascade of crashes and clatters as they were suddenly displaced in his hurry to get closer.

" Fel ," he pressed his face against Felwinter's neck, kissing him there as he hugged him hard enough to make Felwinter grunt. Felwinter shifted, pushing up onto his side somewhat to hug Timur back. "I didn't like it either... but I can't tell you how much that means to me. That trust."

"You've earned it," Felwinter whispered, his hold on Timur tightening just a little more. Timur's breath hitched.

"Fel-" He cleared his throat. "Felwinter."

Felwinter tipped his head back, blinking at Timur, surprised to hear him use his complete name. Yes, Timur had started to use it more conversationally to appease Osiris who got particularly prickly about the nickname, but even still Timur didn't usually address him directly by anything else. He gave him a slow blink, listening patiently.

"I uh," Timur's eyes darted, but Felwinter kept his hold on him. "I wrote something on the new fan before I reinstalled it. I... hadn't meant to tell you. Ever."

"That was quick, then," Felwinter hummed, smiling for him. Timur had the grace to snort out a soft, breathless laugh, a glittery little smile gracing his handsome features as he cast his eyes down between them.

"Yeah, even for me," he huffed.

"What does it say?" Felwinter asked gently. He sat up slowly with a soft groan, pulling Timur up with him.

Timur was silent for a few too many heartbeats as he leaned hard against Felwinter, holding him and being held. The only thing, he thought, that made this so difficult was how long he'd waited.

"I've always loved you," he whispered. "That's it. That's what it says." Felwinter was silent, but there was something- maybe in how he held Timur, his posture, the blessedly quiet way his systems ran- something - that suggested it wasn't a bad silence. He could tell Timur had more to say, and was listening. "From that very first day in the Cosmodrome. I... can't explain it," Timur went on. "I took one look at you, shotgun and all, and thought, 'there's a guy that's worth everything'... and so far, I've been right." He sucked in a slow, tremulous breath. "I... It's about time you knew."

"It is about time," Felwinter breathed, and oh, the smile on his voice made Timur's heart soar. Especially after what they'd just been through together. Hearing that warmth meant more than ever. "Why hold it in?" Felwinter asked.

Timur shook his head.

"All kinds of reasons. Mostly? Thought we'd agreed upon something different. And that was fine, really. But I- It's been too good, too important to disrupt that."

Felwinter considered this in silence.

"I think you're right," he agreed at last. "It was a big sacrifice, but I'm grateful." 

Another hard jolt of warmth seared its way down Timur's throat, hurting him as much as it made him want to soar. "Just as I am grateful you've decided now to be more up-front with me," Felwinter finished. He leaned in, pressing in tight against Timur, seeking comfort as much as he offered it as he tipped his forehead against Timur's. 

"You're right that I wouldn't have always been ready to accept, or return, love from you," Felwinter explained quietly. He tipped his head, pressing his mouth against Timur's temple in a lingering kiss. "But now... Things have changed. Quite a lot, in fact." That smile was still in his voice, effulgent with warmth, and Timur's chest hitched. He felt so raw, but the ache they'd uncovered was such a sweet pain.

"They have..." Timur agreed, his voice shaking.

"Loving you- now that I can allow myself to say as much, however, is not a new development," Felwinter whispered, tipping his head down to breathe the words right into Timur's ear, making him shiver. "You spoil me, being so loyal, and so patient."

"Worth it all," Timur choked, turning fully to nearly throw himself onto Felwinter, hugging him hard and kissing him firmly. "And easier than you might think."

Felwinter gasped, but it was a happy, albeit strained sound, and for a minute, they both fought to keep their composure.

"Bed," Felwinter croaked at last. "Back to bed. I'm exhausted, and so are you. And this table is cold. And hard." 

Timur laughed wetly around the sticky lump lodged in his throat, sniffling once and nodding.

"You're right... as usual," he gasped.

"And I need you," Felwinter added quietly.

That got Timur moving, his nerves bolstered once again. He pulled free of Felwinter to slide off the table, but turned immediately, grabbing him and pulling him in close to him, right off the table into his arms, blanket and all. Felwinter gasped in surprise and clung to his shoulders, but didn't protest, so Timur held on, stepping back. 

"Whatever you need, baby," he promised, already marching out of his shop with his lover.

"I need to sleep this all off, and I need you with me," Felwinter said firmly. Timur pulled the Exo tighter against his chest as he kicked the door back to his quarters further open, heading right for the bed.

"You got it... love."