Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Shades of Blue

(4.9k words)

There was something kinda weird with this place.

Leon, as per usual, couldn't sleep for shit, no matter how exhausted his body was, his mind was still a  beehive buzzing loudly, refusing to shut up because they were not in their territory — this was a turtle’s lair, it should be safe, should feel safe, but he just couldn’t convince his mind of that. They were in an unknown place with an unknown family that had the ‘Raph loves you’ stink and was very like them but also very… very different.

“Why would you joke like that? What if it had really hurt him?” His counterpart had scolded after Leon had given a couple of rough pats to Raph’s re-bandaged forearm, which used to have still-raw deep gashes.

Was this Leo the medic of his own team? No? Then what the heck dude . Leon knew how his brothers healed up, he would never hurt them on purpose. Raph had said something along those lines and the other Leo had dropped the issue but still, it shouldn’t have been necessary. 

And then meeting their Splinter… well.

Leon rubbed his eyes tiredly and closed them again, shifting to press his cheek more firmly against Raph’s arm, but it wasn’t comfy, he kinda needed a pillow.

He extended his hand to grab his dad by the tail and drag him closer to snuggle against something comfier and warmer. Splinter let out an undignified: “ughh, Blue,” and squirmed to get enough space to breathe again before letting Leon use his belly as a pillow.

“I’m your favorite,” Leon teased with a half-grin, ignoring the way in which his counterpart took in a sharp breath and tensed up at that sentence.

“You are the reason for all my gray hair. All of it,” his dad grumbled sleepily without even bothering to open his eyes, but otherwise didn’t move and behaved like a good, sentient pillow.

Leon chuckled and burrowed his face into the robes, just to annoy him, which made Splinter grumble unintelligibly and slap his arm with the long rat tail.

“Sleep, Blue. Sleep.”

Yeah, he wanted to, but he couldn’t sleep, his mind went back to what had happened today.

There were a lot of things they had needed to address after finally being reunited, but the priority was, obviously, to treat Raph’s shell. Thus, Leon, the greatest leader to ever exist and the epitome of all the awesomeness a single turtle could possess, stepped forward as the group representative and took the lead on how the conversation would develop, asking about how Raph had gotten to this situation before anyone else could fire their own set of questions.

He also stepped forward literally, because he was the only one of his family Raph was not carrying as they traveled back to their counterpart’s lair through the sewer tunnels.

He had listened attentively to the tale his counterparts mentioned and, judging by Raph’s own attentiveness, it was news to him too. Raph hadn’t been even close to the front when all of this happened then, great, peachy…

“Soooo Puffs basically said ‘screw this, I’mma handle things my way’ and left you out of everything,” Leon summarized, because past a superficial explanation of what the Krang were and what the TCRI building was, the other turtles knew absolutely nothing about the reason why the retired soldier had wanted to go to the Krang in the first place. April didn’t know either, she had just been convinced to go with Puffs; something about finding her dad? Leon filed that out for later.

“Pretty much, yeah. Big guy, I don’t know when I’ll see him next, so tell Soldier dude that he’s a fucking moron,” Rafa demanded angrily with an accusatory finger, which made Leon laugh. Oh, he liked this small and cursing version of Raph already.

“I’ll tell ‘im alright,” Raph wheezed a chuckle.

“Are you sure you can carry so many people?” The less-handsome Leo asked, walking behind the snapper as he looked curiously at the spot of glowing red covering a small portion of the shell. 

Their freckled Mikey nodded along. “Yeah, we’re here now, we can help.”

Leon would have normally agreed, but he knew his older brother. And, true to expectations, the question just made Raph cradle Dee and Splinter closer to his chest. 

“M’fine,” Raph assured almost defensively, unwilling to let them go. Mikey ‘oowed’ and patted Raph’s shell, while Angelo hugged his head with an understanding chirp, giving Leon a knowing look.

Leon gave a discreet nod at his little brother. The fact that Puffs had fronted explained the lack of bandages covering Raph’s arms… an odd sight, but he was grateful for it right now, because it let him inspect the recent injuries all the more clearly.

Along with the fact that they had yet to heal, even after so much time had passed.

“Hey Raph?” Leon stepped closer with a light smile, elbowing Raph's side playfully. “I kinda need to ask something.”

“Mm–hmm,” Raph churred. He had yet to stop doing that, even when he was obviously so injured and malnourished. 

“Raph, my bro, bestie, pal, my guy,” Leo sing-songed, accentuating each word with a friendly pat, which made Raph give him an undeserved suspicious squint. “For how long you’ve not been eating properly?” 

No point in beating around the bush, not for this.

Time seemed to flow slightly differently here, that was one of the first conclusions Leon had arrived at. What had been whole minutes in their home, when they had been waiting for Angelo to come back, was reflected as just seconds in this world. The box turtle had admitted that he hadn’t even noticed them pulling at the ninpo chains.

Raph choked on thin air at the question, churr stopping abruptly, which made Dee’s eyes snap open as he immediately made to sit up with the reflexes of a disgruntled cat that had been threatened in its sleep.

“What, where?” His possessed, hysteric twin hissed while glaring at a random spot at the wall, probably somewhat delirious, asleep still. The purple projection of something that looked suspiciously like a canon blinked into existence over his shoulder.

Raph churred, the soft sound he usually reserved for turtle-piles, and Dee’s ninpo blinked out of existence as his twin nodded at the wall and collapsed again like a damn log. Dee either couldn’t sleep shit or he could go back to Morpheus’ land in a blink of an eye no matter his surroundings. The lucky bastard.

“Who’s not been eating?” This world’s Donnie finally snapped out of his ramble to look at them. He had been distracting himself by studying April’s bracelets and helmet, explaining to her exactly what they were, why she couldn’t remove them without certain tools, and what he needed to check once they got back to his lab to see if there would be any secondary effects.

“It’s not like I didn’t, uh—” Raph started to mumble, tail shifting uncomfortably. His eyes glanced at his arms as if suddenly aware of just how bare they were, then turned to look at the wall and ceiling as if that would help him escape this conversation. 

But there was no denying the fact, not with the injuries still open and raw, when they should have healed long, long ago.

“Oh, dude…” Mikey muttered under his breath, as realization dawned on him. “That’s why Puffs was eating so fast…”

“Fucking. Moron!” Rafa seemed to be both accusing and self-reprimanding in that single sentence. “Of course you shouldn’t be eating the same portions as us, of fucking course—”

“Language.”

“I never even thought about it,” the other Leo admitted, sharing a glance with his Donnie. 

“Didn’t even notice,” Donnie admitted with a guilty look. “I don’t usually… eat with you guys, so…”

Leon took note of many things in their mumbling. Questions for another time.

In the end, the less-cool Leo sighed and answered on Raph’s behalf. “He’s always— he’s been eating the same as us ever since he got here.”

“For how long?” Leon asked with a side-glare at Raph, who would be playing with his fingers at this point if his arms weren’t busy carrying people.

His counterpart sighed away the answer while giving Raph a worried look, and only then did Raph had the decency to mutter a sheepish: “Sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t think it was this bad. I’ve gone for longer without eating anything at all—”

“That happened a long, long time ago, and it’s not to be repeated ever again for obvious reasons Raph,” Angelo scolded with both hands on his hips, even if Raph couldn’t see him since he was riding in ‘hat mode’ at the back of Raph’s head right now. “Let me guess, you were worried about emptying their whole food reserves in just a few days.”

A sheepish nod.

“Why didn’t you just eat pipes or other stuff?” Leon asked honestly, because that was something Raph had done sometimes when he thought no one was looking, on the days when they were still too little to go out scavenging by themselves, but Splinter was unresponsive and couldn’t go out for food. “It’s not the best, but like, it’s better than nothing—”

“Wait, wait, did you say pipes?” Leo asked incredulously. “Who eats pipes!?”

“Is that why you volunteered to help me scavenge parts?” Donnie asked with a mix of fascination and horror. “Were you snacking? How strong is your stomach acid—”

“Raph’s sorry!” His brother snapped at the floor, shoulders tense. “Raph’s gonna eat better now, ok? Can we talk about something else—”  

Leon took pity and changed the topic after that, asking about his experience in this darker, less-colorful world. Mikey had piped in with gusto, patting Raph’s shell as if to say ‘I’ve got your back’ as he detailed some of what they had lived together in the time Raph had been here, with the other turtles adding to the story every now and then.

The more Leon listened to their counterparts talk, the more he got acquainted with what had happened in this world, and the more he could take mental note of how each of these same-species turtles interacted with each other. It gave him a superficial glimpse of their personalities. 

In their trip back to their lair, nothing had looked out of place, not really. Both families were very similar indeed.

Then they had arrived back to their home, and the differences slowly started to strike. Easy to ignore, at first. 

Their Leo was not the medic, but he was a responsible worrywart just like Raph, he would be easy to tease in the future. Their Rafa was more prone to snapping and cursing, a lot of it out of concern, kinda like Cassey or a much younger Raph, which also made him a good future tease-victim. 

Their Donnie didn’t seem to be as grossed out by bodily fluids and bio-stuff as Dee was, he was a good medic with a cool head, they had worked well together to treat Raph’s crushed scutes and other injuries — this Donnie had even been mindful enough to re-bandage Raph’s arms, not out of need but for his brother’s comfort — before moving to treat the bruises of the other turtles. This other family didn’t heal as fast, apparently. Whoever had made their ooze formula was a lot less prepared than Draxum had been.

Their Mikey was funny and sharp, pointedly keeping a lighthearted atmosphere, just like Angelo would have done if their roles had been reversed. Out of all the pairs of counterparts, the Mikey’s seemed to be the most similar.

If anything, they were too alike. Mikey had crawled up the sharp shell to sit on a shoulder once Raph was treated, and Angelo, who had already been sitting at the opposite side, had raised a hand instinctively as if to push him off before catching himself mid-motion.

“Dude?” Mikey asked, visibly confused.

“Uhh, sorry,” Angelo shrugged sheepishly. “I’m usually the only one up here? Ehh-heh…”

So yeah, different but similar. They all had seemed ok, even if there was someone he had yet to meet.

Oddly enough, their Splinter had not approached them to see how they were doing after a mission.

Even after all the time they had spent in the lab providing healthcare to all that needed it, their father didn't come. In the end, Leon had met their dad only after Raph’s injuries were treated, when the other turtles wondered about the whereabouts of the ‘other patients’ since Donnie’s lab had been empty since they arrived. Their Splinter had been injured then?

He left Angelo and Rafa on charge of feeding a sheepish Raph, who at least knew better than to put up a fuss, and trailed behind Leo, ignoring the part of him that was despairing at the concept of stepping away from the room where the rest of his family was resting, because he was the one in best conditions right now, so it was his duty to make basic reconnaissance of this place, ensure everything was ok before he could join his family to rest and— damn, he was starting to sound like Raph. Ugh .

Whatever, ok, so Leon may be starting to become a bit of a worrywart, big deal. Either way, he forced his feet to move and trailed behind his counterpart, noting where everything was as they went towards a sliding paper door. How traditional, it was kinda like a movie set, did they have a movie set? How cool would that be!

Inside the movie set they had found the other Splinter, sitting down cross-legged, wrists resting on his legs with index and thumb pressed together. The typical ‘ohhmmm’ meditative pose with his eyes closed. 

Pffft, dad was going to be so jelly of the height difference! Leon couldn’t wait to tell him that Rafa had squeaked a surprised “that’s your Splinter!? I thought you were carrying a plushie!” once Raph finally put dad down in the lab so he could be treated. 

Upon first seeing this Tall Splinter Leon had, honestly, felt the urge to jump over to his lap to demand a selfie, because this rat mutant was tall and looked like he had just gotten out of film-recording with the formal posture and robes, the bandages — injuries already treated, nothing to worry over then — the missing tiles on the floor around him, and the weapons hanging from the walls away from the cracked areas.

Leon would get a selfie and joke about wanting an autograph, ask about what he had been filming, and this Splinter would laugh, push him off, and ask to be introduced to the obviously more-handsome version of his son.

After all, this was also a Splinter. His dad sometimes liked to record himself like he was filming a new Lou Jitsu movie, he said that he didn’t need to write fanfiction when he could simply act out his ideas, and Leon saw no flaw in that reasoning. They had a good amount of amatour family-made films, and a big pile of others where Splinter was the sole actor; it was pretty fun.

“Sensei?” His counterpart had greeted softly before Leon could act on that, and he paused stunned because, what, sensei? “Why are you—?”

“Karai is gone,” the taller Splinter said flatly, ears pressed against his skull as he frowned heavily, eyes tightly shut, like he was in pain. “She— she left the moment I lost consciousness.”

“Oh,” Leo muttered softly, sadness, concern and anger battling in his expression for a second before he glanced at Leon again, and hurriedly masked all of it as he cleared his throat. “I’m— I’m sorry to hear that. But, uh, are you… shouldn't you be resting…?”

“I will,” their Splinter sighed, eyes begrudgingly sliding open to regard them. He looked at Leon tiredly, like he was barely registering his presence— ahhh maybe this Splinter also had ‘bad days’. 

“Hi,” Leon greeted with a small wave. 

“...hello,” Splinter nodded in his direction once before addressing his son again. “Is everyone… unharmed?”

“Yes, we already treated our injuries.”

Another tired nod. “And we have more guests.”

“Yeah. Four turtles and their sensei, the whole set,” Leo smiled weakly. 

“Dad is gonna be soooo jealous of how tall you are!” Leon grinned, because the air was oddly formal and detached and weird. This Splinter must be stuck in a very bad episode today. “Wanna go see the guys before you go to sleep? Dad and Dee were tired so they’re kinda napping already, but—”

“Tomorrow,” their Splinter raised a single claw to stop his rant, the other hand massaging his temple, obviously nursing a headache. Yeah, he was totally having a bad day. “If no one is injured… I will greet you properly tomorrow.”

“Sure,” Leon smiled in understanding, at the same time as his counterpart— bowed slightly? What? 

“Rest well, dad,” Leo smiled sadly and motioned for them to leave after Splinter hummed in acknowledgement. 

Ok, that interaction had been kinda odd, but Leon chose to focus on another thing instead of asking about it.

“So, your gram-gram came for a visit?” A world where Karai still lived…

“...our what.”

That was the topic they talked about as they settled in preparation for the largest turtle-pile to have ever existed. 

Raph laid down on his belly and curled like a cat, one arm hugging Dee, the other up to frame the single pillow under his chin . Leon had sprawled on the free arm since Angelo had already claimed the space where the tail curled against the legs, and dad was dead to the world sleeping over Raph’s head so the Mikey’s didn’t fight for the spot. 

The less-awesome Leo asked Raph multiple times if he was really, really feeling ok with him resting so close to the crushed scutes and thus missed his spot by the legs to a more opportunistic Mikey, so he ended up going to the other side of Raph’s head, putting a pillow over a shoulder. Rafa had said he would keep an eye on them in a warning, worried tone, but ended up falling asleep next to Dee, so the tiny angry turtle had been dragged into Raph’s one-armed hug soon after. Surprisingly, Dee didn’t stir.

Donnie was the one to explain what had happened as they all settled into the turtle pile, apparently content to just sit nearby on one of the sofa’s pillows and watch over April, to ensure no new symptoms came up during the next hours. 

They discovered — Raph included, damn he really had been far away from the front — that this Karai was not their gram-gram. 

She was Splinter’s daughter before he was mutated — a married Lou Jitsu with family, wow! — except apparently no one had known that, not even Karai, and as Donnie told the story of just how many things had happened after their ‘Stop the Krang Bomb’ mission started Leon couldn’t help but wince because ouph , the story was like something he could find in a drama series. One thing after the other, after the other… and there were, no doubt, a multitude of details being left out from the recounting. 

“Why was Puffs so pissy, again?” Angelo had asked with interest, being the one that spent most time with that alter outside of the fights and life-threatening crises.

“No clue,” Donnie groaned with visible frustration. “He wasn’t making any sense.”

“None of this does,” Raph admitted softly, blinking tiredly. “Puffs was acting so weird… I think? I can’t… recall…”

“Don’t force it Raph, you’ll burn the few neurons you have left,” Leon teased, and it was a testament of how exhausted Raph was that he just hummed noncommittally and lowered his chin further into the pillow.

“Can’t… recall...”

“We gotta sleep,” Mikey said softly, patting Raph’s shell rhythmically, like an attempt at a lullaby. “We can talk more tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Leon couldn’t see Angelo from his position, but his little brother sounded a bit put off. Maybe Mikey had beaten him and said what he was going to say? “Let’s sleep for now, we’ll catch up later.”

And thus, his family went to sleep, and Leon had closed his eyes and tried to, but here he was…

“Blue?” Splinter sighed softly.

“What’s up?”

“...you sound much too awake,” Splinter lifted a clawed hand and rested it over Leon’s head, pressing it more against his belly. 

He relaxed and rubbed his cheek against the robe. “I can’t make it shut up,” he admitted, referring to the way his thoughts spilled over in his head like overflowing water, a raging ocean trapped in a single glass.

“Yeah,” Splinter whispered in understanding, and started to hum a soft tune, clawed hand still applying pressure against his temple, as the thumb drew small, circular motions on skin.

Leon couldn’t remember many things from his toddler years, not as clearly as Raph Puffs could remember his own. Different formulas and all. But still, the humming was familiar, and it calmed down something instinctive deep within his psyche.

With a long, relieved sigh, Leon rubbed his cheek against the round belly and closed his eyes once more, subconsciously mimicking the tune with his own version of a churr as he finally, finally fell asleep.

(x)

(x)

(x)

Leo couldn’t sleep.

He was tired, exhausted, his body felt heavy and his eyes burned and he wanted to sleep but his mind just… refused to shut up.

Logically, he knew these other turtles were safe. They were— well, themselves, sort of, and they were Spiky Raph’s family, so of course they didn’t mean any harm to anybody, but sleeping here in the same room all together…

Leo couldn’t help but be hypervigilant of them, of their every move. A part of it was due to curiosity, he wanted to see them move and talk and interact more, so he could continue to see what was similar between both of their families.

And what was different between them.

He blinked tiredly at his sleeping counterpart, at his peaceful expression. The way the hamster-like Splinter was also snoring softly, still hugging his son’s head close to him.

Would sensei ever do that? His father wasn’t a fan of sleepovers, they interrupted his night meditation… didn’t let him sleep very well. Splinter had offered a few times after— after everything with Savage and Puffs happened and he started to try to spend more individual time with them, but… but the air had still been too tense, the experience too new to be really comfortable, they hadn't been truly at ease with each other.

It had been nothing like this, nothing like what these two had.

Leo sighed silently and shifted, so he could press his forehead against the shoulder of the sleeping snapper. He sort of wanted to wake Spiky Raph up, to seek comfort and receive it in the same way Leon had.

He didn’t want to think too deeply about why he was thinking about waking up the snapper and not his father.

He didn’t want to think about it.

But his mind refused to let the thought go, and instead pushed forward the image of Splinter, obviously heartbroken and trying to reel it in by meditating alone in the damaged dojo. Too heartbroken to even come out to see them, too drained to be able to muster the energy to move, to see by himself that everyone was really ok, too tired to even feign interest in meeting their counterparts…

Karai is gone.

Leo wanted to grab his katana and slice something to pieces. God, was this how Raph felt? No wonder he needed to punch something when he got too angry.

Leo was so angry at Karai. Why— why did she have to leave them like that? Leave Splinter like that, leave her father like that? No words, no contacts exchanged, no nothing? Just up and out like nothing had happened, like the truth hadn’t come out to light and changed them forever? Like his father didn’t love her, enough to leave Leo on his own in the midst of battle.

A part of Leo wanted to chase her down. Chase her down to talk with her and convince her to come back, or to call, or something, anything that would make his father happy, anything that would erase that broken expression from his features.

“You’re more than what you can do for others.” The memory of Spiky Raph’s voice reminded. “You’re more than what you can offer to others.”

He pressed his head harder against the shoulder, curling on himself as he brought the blanket up to cover his head, hiding from the world completely.

“It’s not your responsibility to figure out everything everyone is going through at all times. You are just a teen, don’t put that on your shoulders, that’s a luggage the big ones should carry.”

Leo was trying hard not to cry. He— he should trust his father to handle things, right? He was— he was an adult, he was stronger and smarter and he would— he would find a way to manage things eventually, so Leo shouldn’t— he shouldn’t put this responsibility on himself, it was not his duty. Right?

Not going after Karai didn’t make him a failure of a son, right?

Right…?

A hand patted his shell tentatively, and Leo flinched and froze up, completely tense under the covers. He had been spotted, by whom? He didn’t want to face any of their counterparts, not like this, not when he felt like crying— 

“Hey,” Donnie whispered…? 

Oh right, his brother said he wouldn’t sleep, that he would watch over April to make sure the helmet and stuff didn’t leave her with any secondary effects. His brother was— 

He was available.

Leo lifted the blanket to peek from under the cloth. Donnie gave him a small wave, the gesture they used in missions to instruct someone to follow after them.

With a relieved sigh, he carefully and silently slipped away from the turtle pile, following his brother into the lab. Ever since they were honest with each other, it had become Leo’s sanctuary too.

So Leo cried. He cried and was honest about everything he was thinking about Karai and Splinter, and his brother hugged him and let him rant, uninterrupted, until Leo eventually ran out of words and was just a sobbing, hiccuping mess.

“It doesn’t make you a bad son,” Donnie spoke at last, still hugging him even though he was probably beyond uncomfortable at this point, just because Leo needed it. “Karai left, she chose to, and we don’t know anything about her, she may have had her reasons. Splinter is gonna be sad, but if he— if he loves her as his daughter—”

Donnie paused to take in a sharp breath, then let it out slowly. He continued after that pause with a soft: “Then the fact that she left out of her own volition should be enough for him to be okay with it. She knows where to find us, she’ll reach out if she wants or needs to. Until then— uh, well, he should be thinking about what’s best for her, right? I mean, she’s human. We’re not. What was she gonna do, stay with us forever in the sewers?”

“She could have stayed with us longer,” Leo muttered bitterly. “Get to know us, we could— I don’t know, become a family or something…”

“She’s from Japan though?” Donnie muttered incredulously. “What’s she gotta do in New York if the Shredder is dead? Does she even know anyone here? I mean, other than us, the bunch of mutants that claim to be her family but that she just met.” 

And she was trying to kill, went by unsaid.

Leo stayed silent at that, and Donnie sighed and patted his shell a couple of times before ending the hug. “She’s gotta have her reasons, Leo. We don’t know them, but… ehh… not much we can do about it.”

“Yeah.”

“Just let Splinter handle it, he’s the adult,” Donnie made a dismissive gesture. “He’s gotta know how to handle these things, right?”

Leo wasn’t so sure about that, but he still nodded. Silent. Tired. His eyes burned horribly after crying so much, and because they were still sensitive from the tear gas, but his chest felt lighter after letting the emotion out, after speaking about it with someone he loved and trusted.

“Thanks Donnie,” Leo whispered with a weak smile.

“I’m always here for you,” Donnie smiled back, giving him a soft touch with his knuckles, a mimic of a playful shoulder-punch. “Come on, you gotta sleep, you look horrible.”

Leo rubbed his face and gave a tired chuckle. “Yeee, thanks…”

“Facts are facts,” Donnie chuckled softly, gently pushing him out of the lab. “Come on, let’s go. Spiky Raph’s churr is soothing, right? It’ll help out.”

“Yeah,” Leo admitted, some of the remaining tension slipping away as they came back to the room that held the turtle pile, and the sound of soft snores and the calming churring wrapped the atmosphere completely.

They had made a habit out of it, since Spiky Raph had started to grow more and more agitated the more time passed without a way to get him back home. He grew especially restless once it was time to sleep, so he had started to ask them for a sleepover more and more often. Sometimes he would bunk in with one of them specifically, other times they would end up turtle-piling in his room, which was the one with more free space.

Whatever the reasons, Leo had sort of become used to having the churr as a background for sleeping and, as emotionally and physically tired as he was right now, his mind went blissfully blank the second he got back to his place and burrowed under the snapper’s chin to have firm pressure over his head.

Donnie watched his brother succumb to exhaustion with a satisfied sigh. He was happy he could help, and relieved at seeing everybody sleeping.

He wished he could do the same.

Chapter Text

Orange Cues

(2.9K words)

Angelo loved his family to pieces.

He loved Leon, who was energetic and funny and had a sharp eye for the little things. Loved him even though his habit of always putting up a performance grated on Angelo’s nerves. It was so difficult to make Leon open up about things…

“— and then Dee tried to kill me via suffocation! Using the innocent Peach as a weapon—” 

But right now his performance was making Raph chuckle, so Angelo could let it go for now. Even though it was obvious something was bothering the slider.

Then again, something was bothering all of them. 

He could see it in Dee's odd lethargy and their dad’s twitching ears, which always moved all around the place erratically when he wanted to hide a difficult emotion. It was particularly noticeable when the rat mutant had asked Rafa about the other Splinter, only to be met with a humorless snort. 

“After getting ditched by his own daughter? Yeah, no, he’s not getting outta there anytime soon.”

Splinter had flinched minutely, nodded with uncomfortable understanding, and mumbled a quick: “I’m going up for food, then,” as he offered to help with one of the things he regretted not doing the most, back in his earlier days stuck deep into the weight of depression. Angelo didn’t remember ever going hungry, but dad had apologized for it, so it must have happened at some point.

“Red? Red, look at me, over here my boy.”

“Hmm?” Raph blinked slowly, as if only just noticing Splinter and Rafa standing closeby, and instinctually extended an arm to bring them closer to him.

Raph had been dissociating more than usual. Of course, Angelo knew Raph could get stuck in his own head from time to time, considering he could have whole conversations with his system without having to utter a single word, but he had gotten that lost look everytime conversation halted, even if it was just a short pause, today. Mind Raph must be very busy.

“Dude,” Rafa complained without any heat as he was dragged into their turtle pile. Again.

“Red,” Splinter chuckled, patting Raph’s arm fondly. “I will go out for food, alright? A quick trip, be right back.”

Raph hummed, as if listening with just half an ear.

“Do you even know where to get it from?” Rafa pointed out bluntly.

“I’m assuming this New York will be similar to mine,” Splinter shrugged. “But if you do not mind accompanying me, I could use some guidance.”

Rafa’s eyes had opened wider with visible surprise, glancing back as if to check if Splinter wasn’t addressing someone else.

“Me? You’re asking me to help?”

“Only if you are willing to, of course. Do not worry, I’m sure I will be fine on my own,” Splinter waved dismissively, like he did everytime he felt he was going to be rejected. He rejected himself first, saved himself the heartache.

“I’m— uh, yeah, uh, we can go, I guess,” Rafa agreed with a shrug of his own, still looking confused. Why would confusion be the prevalent emotion? Hmm…

“Where to?” Their Leo asked as he stepped into the room, voice dripping with a mix of concern, curiosity, and something else Angelo couldn’t easily pinpoint. This Leo was also used to hiding his own feelings, even if he wasn’t quite the performer Leon was. He was a bit more like Raph, kinda…

“Up,” Rafa gestured at the ceiling with his chin.

“Food gathering,” Splinter specified, expertly escaping from Raph’s hold — sometimes they had to escape the sleepy hug to go to the loo in the middle of the night — and helping Rafa do the same. “Would you like to come by?”

Leo exchanged a surprised look with Rafa, before quickly clasping his hands somewhere behind his back. A way to hide a nervous gesture? Grounding himself maybe. Huh. 

“Yeah, sure, we can go. We’re running a bit low on reserves, I was thinking about going out tomorrow anyway…”

This Leo was in charge of organizing the food errands? Or responsible for keeping track of their food inventory? They all took turns for the first, but the second was Angelo’s thing, back at home.

“Then I am in your capable hands,” Splinter smiled, whiskers twitching in a way that made his face look funny, and Angelo couldn’t help but giggle. 

Leon gave a short laugh as well, but it rang hollow. “Dad… do you gotta go too? Pretty sure Sr. Leader here can handle it,” he gestured with his head at his counterpart.

The Leos had shared a short trip to the kitchen, when Leon asked for some tea and Leo went to show him where it was stocked. 

They had come back with a visible tense atmosphere. 

Angelo hadn’t known why, but this made it seem like it was leadership-related? The tension felt similar to those first instances when Raph and Leon would discuss and overall disagree about how to be a good leader. Back when Raph was still too pushy and Leon too insecure.

The shorter Leo scoffed and crossed his arms, but Splinter spoke before he could answer.

“If their father is… not feeling ok today, then I would like to help.” Like I wished someone had helped us on my bad days, went unsaid. 

Dad was talking with that raw vulnerability that colored some of his more melancholic days, and Leon sighed heavily but nodded in understanding.

“Be careful?”

“Always,” Splinter reassured with a knowing nod. “We will be back in a jiffy. Right kids?”

“Jiffy?” Rafa snorted incredulously. 

“Sure,” Leo nodded tensely, already turning around. “Let’s go, we should get it before the cover of the night ends—” 

“Woah there Batman,” Rafa snorted as he caught up with his Leo, who chuckled despite himself. “Honestly though, what kind of Splinter uses words like jiffy.”

“I do,” dad said lightheartedly, already grinning. Always smiling to hide up all else, Leon was so much like him. “I used to get teased a lot for my formal vocabulary while on set, so I learned more casual slang in there—”

“On set?”

“You mean movie sets?”

Oh, they were triggering a Lou Jitsu rant! Angelo could see the immediate effect it had on dad’s mood, the regained lightness on his steps as they left the room. 

Ok, dad would be fine then.

A bit more at ease now, Angelo melted back into rug position, comfortably wrapped over Raph’s head— 

 “Hey-a fam!”

— only to tense up again upon the arrival of Mikey. 

“I brought you some food,” Mikey said, a small tower of pizza boxes stocked in his arms. “I was gonna cook something but we’re low on food reserves, so April helped me order these. Y’all right with pepperoni?”

Kind of a late question to ask, no?

“Sure! It’s not some weird abomination like artisanal flatbread ,” Leon huffed with a mockingly offended eye-roll, glancing sideways at Dee.

Dee stayed with his eyes closed and unresponsive, even when obviously awake, tucked under Raph’s arm while lost in his own head.

“Hey Dee?” Leon knocked on the large forehead as if to ask if anyone was at home.

“Fuck off,” Dee hissed lightly, baring his teeth for a short second before turning his head away, snout pressed against Raph.

“Cold,” Raph commented lightly, shifting up to a sitting position but repositioning the blankets to hide the softshell in his hold. “Leave him be Lee, I think he’s still kinda tired.”

“He should eat too.”

“Yeah, we can try again later,” Raph nodded in agreement, extending his free arm invitingly towards Mikey.

Mikey beamed, letting the boxes on the floor close to Leon so he could give Raph a quick hug which, of course, ended up turning into a prison-hug, because Raph loved those, didn’t Mikey know he wasn’t going to get freed anytime soon? Why did he have to stay?

“Thanks for the pizza Mike,” Raph nuzzled the top of Mikey’s head with a clicking sound, his substitute for forehead kisses. “I dunno what we would have done without you.”

Mikey giggled in obvious delight, and Angelo huffed and tried not to sulk. He would have offered to cook too, he had been the first to wake up actually, he just… hadn’t wanted to leave the turtle pile, he had just gotten his Rad back and they were all together and what was the rush, anyway? Raph had had a large meal before, they had ensured that. The more superficial injuries had healed overnight, and the crushed scutes improved.

A very large part of Angelo didn’t want to let anyone out of sight. They were all together, everyone was fine, living and breathing and very, very real, and going to the kitchen wouldn’t change any of that, but he still didn’t want to leave them. Afraid it would all dissipate, like Angelo would wake up from a pleasant dream only to find himself back in his room, just another day of helping Dee out with the interdimensional portal, of checking whether the twins could sleep any. Another day of having Splinter follow them everywhere, hovering close by so he could help with all the things they couldn’t do with their arms injured as they had been.

Angelo hopped down from his perching place and gave his ‘I’m miserable uwu’ chirp, trying to mask his smugness upon seeing Raph release Mikey in favor of pulling Angelo into a hug, reassuring chuffs and churrs answering in kind. 

All’s fine, everything is fine.

Angelo wanted to believe that, he really wanted things to be ok, for everyone to stay together and safe. For everything to go back to normal.

“You sound so bird-like,” Mikey smiled with bright energy. “What does that chirp mean?”

But things weren’t normal.

His counterpart’s question was laced with interest, amiability, an obvious attempt at trying to get along with him. But even knowing all that, Angelo still felt… threatened? Threatened , yes, ugh, he felt… like he could lose… 

Instead of answering, Angelo chirped again, and Raph bent down to nuzzle at him with clicking sounds. Relief, at last, he was getting the same treatment.

Raph was the only one truly at ease with their counterparts, which was to be expected, of course, considering he had been here with them… stuck for so long…

Raph had been safe and sound and accompanied during all his stay in this alternate dimension, having fallen directly in their Donnie’s lab. It was, truly, the best scenario Angelo could think of, the best circumstances. A big part of him was relieved that his big brother had been okay, that he hadn’t been left alone, that he had immediately counted with the acceptance and love of this other family… that was so much like them…

“Ohh, ok, ok, lemme try,” Mikey tried to chuckle lightheartedly in spite of being ignored, clearing his throat before chirping a short, acute sound.

The chirp sounded weird, raw and rough, like he wasn’t used to pronouncing the sounds that should naturally come to him as a turtle.

It also showed the uneasiness and hurt Mikey was disguising otherwise perfectly.

In the blink of an eye Raph had grabbed Mikey as well, so both short turtles were now pressed uncomfortably together in his one-armed hold. Ugh, no, why did he have to share—

“I’m going to eat all the pizza,” Leon threatened only half-playfully. “Ahhh~”

“What— Leo!” Raph slipped back to Leon’s usual name in his scolding, huffing as he released both of them in favor of grabbing Leon by the shell, away from the missing-two-slices-already box of pizza. “Don’t be rude, that’s for everybody!”

“No m’a fault shu were dishtracteph,” Leon shrugged unapologetically while still chewing, crumbs of bread falling grossly.

“Eugh!” Raph half-snorted, half-growled, placing Leon on his shoulder as if to keep him away from the food. “Alright, let’s dig in before someone leaves us only the crusts.”

“Who?” Leon had the gall to ask, which earned him a pillow to the face.

Angelo refused to move away from Raph’s lap, afraid he would be replaced,  his place would be occupied if he moved, so he just chirped hungrily and let Raph pull the pizza boxes closer to them, so he could grab slices without moving a single inch.

Sadly, that was true for Mikey too, who took his first bite still sitting at his side, submerged in pensive silence.

In spite of his previous threat, Leon just ate one last slice, and left the rest for Raph to eat his fill.

(x)

(x)

(x)

Mikey had always thought he would get along with himself. 

Like, why wouldn’t he? Honestly the idea of meeting an alternate version of himself had sounded appealing. Based on the way Spiky Raph had talked about his Angelo, Mikey had been convinced they would get along, because they were similar in many ways. They were both aware of things, of how other people were feeling, and could take a guess about the why’s and be right more often than not. They both tried, in their own way, to help their family deal with difficult stuff while keeping a light atmosphere.

Mikey had the idea that meeting Angelo would mean he would have someone that would eat pizza with candy with him and experiment with unusual combinations in the kitchen and not find it gross. That they would have the same level of energy so the box turtle wouldn’t mind racing and jumping and dancing in the air, and Angelo would understand that focusing on a single thing at a time was insanely difficult, that Mikey tried, he wasn’t an idiot, he just… couldn’t…

Mikey had thought that he would finally have someone that understood, truly understood , what it felt like to be the youngest. What it felt like to be underestimated and overprotected by everyone. How it felt to be met with an eye roll and a tired exhale everytime they realized Mikey had missed the plan’s debriefing again, the worried shouts as he jumped and spinned wildly when fighting, as if they didn’t trust Mikey not to accidentally hurt himself, when he had never questioned the skill of his brothers. Mikey trusted them to handle stuff, but they always worried too much about him, especially after their last encounter with Snakeweed…

Spiky Raph had mentioned that, once upon a time, he had clashed frequently with Angelo because the latter considered he was being babied, so the box turtle insisted on going on missions on his own, and Mikey could understand the need to prove to his brothers, the need to prove to himself, that he was capable! That he could do stuff on his own and be fine! That he wasn’t stupid!

So yeah, Mikey had been convinced they would get along.

But they weren’t getting along, like, at all, and Mikey wondered what the shell he had done to ruin it this time. He hadn’t pranked anybody — which was what ticked off Raph the most — he hadn’t missed important conversations — which was what bothered Leo the most — and he hadn’t touched delicate stuff without permission, which was what annoyed Donnie the most. 

They had just— just had a turtle pile and Mikey had brought food, and how could any of those things be a bad thing?

“You guys use turtle sounds a lot,” Mikey observed lightheartedly, because even though Spiky Raph churred often, somehow Mikey hadn’t imagined the rest of the brothers would communicate through those short sounds as well.

“Sometimes,” Leon shrugged from his perch over Spiky Raph’s shoulder, giving a curious glance at a silent Angelo, who was for some reason ignoring all the friendly approaches Mikey could come up with. “Wanna hear a cool sound?”

Mikey smiled, relieved that at least not all of them were ignoring him, and nodded at Leon. 

Spiky Raph gave the slider a suspicious squint. “You’re not gonna—”

Leon smiled in the innocent way Mikey did when he was about to pull a prank, and make a long, gruffy sound that seemed like a combination of chuffing and gasping. Mikey didn’t know what it meant, but got the impression that Leon was somehow horribly, grossly sick, like he should be in bed with tons of meds and a bucket closeby.

“Seriously? Right in front of my pizza!” Angelo whined with a 'bleeeh'  face.

Spiky Raph groaned and grabbed Leon by the face to shove him off his shoulder. The slider laughed, unrepentant.

“That sounded weird!” Mikey asked without asking.

“It’s like a gross, exaggerated gagging sound,” Spiky Raph huffed an explanation, and Mikey felt a small sense of accomplishment at having interpreted things correctly. 

Leon walked closer, resting an elbow over Mikey’s head just like an annoying older brother may. The gesture brought with it a sense of normalcy and easy-going that Mikey really appreciated.

“Oh dear tiny, but not the tiniest, Mikey—”

“You’re SO paying for that later,” Angelo snorted playfully.

“— allow me to show thee the turtle way to a successful prank—” 

“You mean communication,” Spiky Raph deadpanned.

“— ‘cause dude, you are missing out!” Leon finished with a big grin. “Do you know how easy it is to distract big Raph here? He’ll go check things out if he hears the right sound, which lets the rest of us sneak around!”

“Big Raph is right here listening to you,” the snapper growled lightly. “And stop trying to corrupt Mikey—”

“Ohh, teach me!” 

“ — he doesn’t — Mikey, no!” Spiky Raph squeaked affrontedly. 

Angelo made a grunty sound that gave Mikey the impression of annoyance.

“Welcome to the dark side,” Leon smiled even wider and gave a flourish bow, like a performer at the end of the act awaiting for the applause of the public, so Mikey giggled and clapped playfully, pointedly not looking at his counterpart.

At least he could get along with someone.

Chapter Text

Shopping Trip

(5K words)

Everything was so ridiculously heavy, even blinking felt like too much.

It was not the first time he was so exhausted he ended up passing out.  Dee had spent countless nights so hyperfixated in his projects that he ended up forgetting all about sleeping or eating. He hated to interrupt his flow of ideas to do basic body maintenance. Whenever he was forced to take a break he tended to forget what exactly he had been intending to do, what the next step in his project was, it took him so long to get back into the right headspace for inventing and sometimes the original idea slipped away from his grasp and it was beyond frustrating .

Ignoring his body’s needs wasn’t the healthiest habit, he knew, but his family was there to get him out of it if he was truly exceeding the usual limits. It was fine. Normally, he would be ok-ish after a long round of sleep.

…which he already had, so why was his mind still so mushy?

His limbs were heavy, trying to shift the  position of his arms felt like he was trying to lift a mountain. His thoughts were swimming in a thick fog, so at odds with the rushing train of ideas that usually flew around with ease, and— ugh, even something as easy as opening his eyes or talking felt like too much. 

He just wanted to stay still, nestling alongside his brethren as he finally, finally relaxed after such a long time of pent up stress.

He had spent countless nights worried beyond life. He had spent one too many nights going through that stupid mission in his head, how many things would have been different if he had protested more. They could have avoided Raph’s disappearance, the rubble search and its conclusion, Leon’s coma, the sleepless nights working on the portal…

He had spent many nights figuring out how to activate the mystical artifact dad had brought him, then a long period of trial and error as he came up with the right size, design, and materials to build up a machine that could somewhat withstand the large amount of energy input without immediately disintegrating on the spot. 

Then his dumb brothers that he had left at his side, that weren’t dead or lost, had gone and tried out something stupid without Dee there to help, because he had been sleeping and the idiots hadn’t wanted to wake him up, but also had refused to wait, and their arms had been injured, and Dee couldn’t help them, didn’t know how to, he couldn’t— 

He couldn’t do anything for them. For any of them. 

Not his injured younger brothers, not his lost older brother, not his depressed dad that had chosen that specific night to have a bad episode and didn’t notice their idiotic attempts…

Stupid, dumb, they were so dumb , but they were fine now. The dum-dums were fine, his family was finally together, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity Dee could relax. Truly relax. Truly sleep.

So he did, he stopped focusing on carrying the load, and oh wow, it was like the weight of everything he had been forcing himself to push through finally collapsed over him. He had been shoving one thing after another behind a closed door, and it had finally come barrelling down on him now that he was too tired to keep it up. 

Like an overworked motor that had run past its limit to the point of overheating, now that Dee had finally cooled down, he found it hard to reignite and move again.

“— something definitely wrong. I’ve been calling him names and look, no reaction, no nothing!” Lee whispered with urgency, somewhere close by. Huh, Dee hadn’t noticed his twin talking, which was quite a feat, the idiot was hard to ignore.

He tried to shift, to move his head towards the sound and blink his eyes open. 

He remained immobile. Ugh, why was opening his eyes so… so stupidly difficult?

“Yeah, but he was so tired… don’t you think he may still need to sleep more?”

Leon groaned. “I mean, maybe, but something rubs me the wrong way here. It’s almost like—”

“One of dad’s bad days,” Angelo ended up, and if it weren’t physically impossible, Dee would have sworn his heart had stopped beating.

One of dad’s bad days.

One of Splinter’s bad days? 

This— this is what it felt like? The heaviness, the mind fog, the frustration of wanting to move but being unable to, wanting to snap out of it and lacking the energy to do so— 

“Is he sick, do you need me to look at him?”

Dee’s eyebrow twitched at the sound, but he still couldn’t muster the energy to move away from it. He honestly didn’t want to think about them for too long.

They were in another world, with another version of their family, and they were stuck —  for reasons that were completely not his fault —  for the time being.  Besides, it didn’t matter whose fault it was, Dee could fix it up in a short time anyway. As soon as his head cleared up, that is.

“I don’t think he’s sick,” his twin mentioned in that tone he used for medical matters.

“If he’s unresponsive though—”

Something was approaching his face.

With a strength he didn’t think himself currently capable of, Dee hissed and gave a warning bite at the air close to the approaching hand. 

“ — GAH!”

“Yeaaaaah, maybe don’t do that,” Leon snickered apologetically, because only him could laugh at you while also being genuinely remorseful.

“And you’re telling me now!?”

“I wasn’t sure he was gonna move to be honest,” Raph admitted sheepishly as well. “Sorry for the scare Donnie, I’m sure Dee was just— uh, spooked, but he wouldn’t have bitten hard.”

Actually Dee reacted without opening his eyes, the fact that his teeth had missed flesh was nothing but coincidence.

“For the record, Raph is the kind of person to adopt a feral cat and tell others they’re a little angel, even as it bites and scratches at everything and everyone.” Dee could hear the smirk on Leon’s face, even with his eyes closed, he pictured it perfectly. “And I’m talking about Dee. He’s the feral cat.”

Not like he was proving Leon right, but as he felt another thing hover close to his head he gave another warning hiss, lip curled up in a show of teeth.

“He’s doin’ just fine,” Raph defended and ah, ok, it was just Raph’s arm, that was fine.

“He’s done nothing but sleep and hiss at everybody.” The other Donatello rudely pointed out, and if Dee weren’t so exhausted he wouldn’t let that stand— 

“Feral cat, I tell you.”

“He’s just tired, he can get a little grumpy when he doesn’t rest for too long,” Raph defended again, the arm resting over his shell pulling Dee closer. Some of the tension on his shoulders leaked a bit.

“He doesn’t even speak!” Donatello insisted. “Are you sure he’s not sick?”

“Don’t judge him just ‘cause he’s not expressing verbally at the moment,” Angelo scolded from somewhere above, Dee guessed he was perched on Raph’s shoulder or similar. “That hiss was very clearly a no-touch-nuh-uh request.”

“Don’t worry Donnie,” Raph interjected more softly, kinder, always one to break up sibling fights if he was present. “We know Dee, you can trust our judgment— and, uh, you know, you shouldn’t worry about these things? They’re not your responsibility, it’s okay.”

“Not my—?” 

“You haven’t slept Don. It’s not fair for you, you need to take care of yourself first. We’ll be fine, Leon knows about healthcare, he’ll ask you if we need supplies, don’t worry about us.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah, right,” this Donatello sounded like he hadn’t even considered the possibility that he could, maybe, not be needed .

Dee inwardly scoffed, even as a part of him twisted uneasily at the thought ever applying to himself. 

“Ok, uh, alright,” Donatello muttered uneasily. “I gotta sleep then— but, uh… I mean, since he’s, uh, kinda undisposed at the moment—”

Dee opened a single eye to glare warningly at him.

“— do you wanna lay him down on the med bed? Must be pretty boring to be here all day, the TV and games are all outside. You can check things out while Dee and Ra— Spiky Raph rest and recover? I’ll keep them company.”

…what was that interrupted word?

 “It’s cool, Dee’s program is already running to get us wifi and stuff,” Leon dismissed easily, he had been the one to tamper with Dee's arm bracelet to do so, after all. “We can just watch videos on the phone or something, right Angelo?”

“Yap!” Their youngest brother chirped firmly. “You can stay if you wanna rest with us though?”

Dee hissed in protest. 

“Juuuuuust not close to Dee,” Leon added the obvious.

“Why does he hate me?” Donatello wondered with obvious wariness.

“He’s not usually like this,” Raph defended immediately. “He’s just— you know, sleepy grumpy. It’ll be fine once he gets to know ya’, I’m sure there’s a ton of things you guys can talk about that we dum-dums don’t really get.”

…well. 

Honestly, the idea of talking about tech with someone that could keep up with him was appealing. Puffs was interested in the topic, but he was slow to understand things whenever Dee tried to show him something, so it was kind of frustrating sometimes, and Leon was just good at the programming piece, he wasn’t very good at the mechanical assembly and the way it all connected, he couldn’t work with the delicacy of the electrical systems or understand the different alloys used for different purposes in specific parts of the machinery.

Talking with this version of him could be interesting in that sense.

“From what I get, your Dee has always had all the materials he needs on hand. Do you think he will be able to adapt to mine?”

But then again. 

Dee will show him adaptation alright, he will make things work one way or another! As soon as he could move again, this Donatello was done for.

“Tsssss,” Leon teased somewhere closeby. “Heard that Dee? He’s saying you can’t do it ‘cause you’re a pampered prick—”

“That’s not what he said!” Raph squeaked hurriedly. “And— honest, Dee is so smart, you guys— I’m sure you guys will get along well…”

“Very sure, yeah,” Angelo muttered sarcastically, and Dee mentally sent his youngest brother a thanks . It was not as sassy and sarcastic as Dee would have made it sound, but close enough.

“If he can even afford to talk by then—”

“How is April doing?” Raph interrupted quickly, which was for the best considering Dee was seriously considering murder right now.

“The prank wars here will be legendary ,” Leon whispered with dark amusement. Dee got the impression that his twin was also looking forward to blowing them up a bit. 

It was a sense of comradery Dee couldn’t get with anyone else. Appes had snickered and dubbed them ‘Murdery Twins’ the last time she witnessed it, recording as Meat Sweats was blown up to another street after setting off one of their traps. It served the pig right for trying to cook him.

“She’s doing better than yesterday, but the… noise is not going down and I don’t know why.”

“So she’s still mind reading?” Angelo asked with interest.

“Can she control it?” Raph muttered with more concern.

“No, although she’s trying to. She’ll be staying with us until she can control it or I find a way to fix it, otherwise… you know, New York is noisy as is. Adding the thoughts of a crowd on top of that would drive anyone insane.”

Raph hummed with worry.  “Leon? Do you think the Mind Meld—”

“No, no, NOPE, don’t even consider that,” Leon denied quickly. “WE don’t control it, Mind Raph can cross the bridge over to me as an aftereffect, and— no, sorry, not safe, nuh-huh, not for anybody.” 

“...last resource then,” Raph settled. “I can’t— not right now anyway. Mind Raph is still… sorting things out, I think.”

 “Thank you anyway,” Donatello said with a deep, exhausted sigh. "We still need to go to her place to grab clothes and so…"

"Lee?" Raph assigned tentatively.

"Yeah I'll help out, we can sort the details later," Leon agreed dismissively.

“Uh, ok?" His counterpart sounded confused but ultimately too tired to care. "I’ll go back to the lab in the meantime, maybe I can— wha— hey!”

 “You didn’t sleep any yesterday,” Raph admonished, and Dee could feel as his brother shifted in place to add another turtle to their pile. He gave a warning hiss and forced his eyes to thinly open.

“It’s ok Dee,” Raph churred and— ugh, that was cheating.

He relaxed begrudgingly, eyes closing again as the heaviness on his limbs returned tenfold. Fine, whatever, he needed to sleep anyway. So long his counterpart stayed out of reach it would be fine for them both.

(x)

(x)

(x)

What the shell.

“And then there was Sandra— no, wait, I think Mary? No, no, that was the celebrity… ah well, let’s just say I really, really enjoyed my dating days. And those are two reallys!”

What kind of Splinter was this?

“Pfft, no shit Sherlock,” Raph snickered, somehow completely unbothered by what Leo couldn’t help but consider a jarring fact. “So that was the last movie?”

“Well— not the last, but certainly the best! To be fair, there are very few movies that can compete against One Fish, Two Fish—”

“We are here,” Leo interrupted, because he honestly needed a break from all of… this . 

“Hmm? Oh, Walmart! Wonderful, we do use the same sources then.” The shorter Splinter grinned widely, in a way Leo had never seen his father do. It wasn’t the slight twitch of whiskers, the soft, reserved smile, but a full teeth-showing grin.

“Yeah, there’s a loose tile we can use to get inside,” Raph moved forward, leading the way for once. “The cameras are on loop, Donnie got into their system not long ago, so it’s safe.”

“Show me the way then, Mini-Red,” this Splinter nodded in Raph’s general direction, starting to walk behind him before halting mid-step. “Mini-Blue, are you following?”

“Huh?” Leo blinked out of his reverie. “Uh, yeah, yeah I’m coming.” 

He would usually have stayed on guard, to guarantee the exit remained unblocked, but he was… curious, he wanted to know more about this odd rat mutant that was so different. 

“I’m not that small, by the way,” Leo added, giving Raph a teasing smirk. He could understand the nickname for Raph, considering just how large the snapping turtle was in comparison, but the height difference between him and the other Leon wasn’t that much, in his opinion.

Raph gave him the index finger in silent retribution, already in ninja mode since he had already lowered himself from the ceiling.

“How would you like me to call you then?” this Splinter asked simply, ears twitching in Raph’s direction as his brother moved to their usual food hallway, before jumping down and following suit. 

“Uhm…” his name was Leonardo, and that’s how dad called him so it was the first answer that popped to his mind, but something about it felt off, somehow. He trailed after Splinter. “I guess… just Leo?”

“Happy to meet you then, Just Leo,” Splinter joked— he joked . He was making a silly face too. What .

“That’s such a dad joke,” Raph complained lightly ahead of them, already grabbing some food cans and placing them in the flannel flag. 

“I’m a dad,” Splinter justified with a quiet snicker, whiskers twitching as he sniffed the air. Honestly…

“...why do you keep your eyes closed?” Leo asked what he had been wondering ever since getting out of the lair. This Splinter was— well, a Splinter. He was skilled, agile, he moved effortlessly and silently across the rooftops and kept up their pace without issue, but he had done so without opening his eyes, not a single time.

“Hmm? Oh, well, things would be way too easy otherwise, don’t you think?” Splinter opened his eyes to wink at him, then immediately turned away. “I’ll get the meat. Can you do the frozen goods, Just Leo?”

Leo marveled at the self-challenge this Splinter had decided to place on himself, even when in a world not his own, it was obvious he was still dedicated to ninjutsu and trained to keep his other senses sharp in the ways he could. The similarity was a relief, somewhat.

Then he registered the name and sighed tiredly. Had it been anyone else he might have groaned, but this was a Splinter, so he should watch what he said and how he reacted. It wouldn’t do to accidentally offend him.

Leo gave him a bow of agreement, but Splinter didn’t even seem to notice, already moving to the end of the hallway and towards the colder, meat and fish section.

“He’s not letting that one go,” Raph laughed quietly at him, and Leo play-punched his arm with a similarly discreet groan.

“Well, ‘just’ is also a synonym for ‘righteous’ and all, so maybe I am Just Leo,” he justified, which made Raph roll his eyes.

“I wouldn’t exactly describe you as righteous dude—”

 “I am when compared to Leon anyway,” Leo scoffed, grabbing the cans of veggies and tossing some too. Raph would focus on the tuna and tasty stuff if up to him.

“Big Guy needs meat ,” Raph reminded, grabbing some sealed food packets of pre-cooked meals. “And what do you mean—”

“I’ll go to the frozen stuff,” Leo interrupted, not wanting to talk about his counterpart, not now, not ever. Ugh, that guy got on his nerves… 

“Dude—”

He left before Raph could insist on the matter.

He tried not to think about his counterpart, but that only made his head overfocus on loop about it, of course. Ugh, even though it had been a short conversation, that guy was just so… so… 

Different , would be the kind way to put it.

Leo had asked about something he thought would unite them. They were both carrying the mantle of ‘leader’ right now, and by the way Spiky Raph talked about it, it was still a somewhat recent thing for Leon too. They both had less than a year of experience, surely they would have similar feelings about it? 

Turns out Leo was wrong. And immediately after that realization Leon hadn’t even focused for long on that topic, immediately redirecting the conversation as he asked about food and joked — or at least Leo hoped he was joking — that if they had run out of food already they should bring Spiky Raph some pipes as an offering, because ‘the guy’s low on iron anyway’. What kind of bad taste joke was that? Malnutrition was a serious topic! 

Leo sighed, heavy with guilt. He still couldn’t believe none of them had stopped to wonder about the food portions. In hindsight, it was obvious. Someone of that size was bound to need more than them, it was logical. They should have adapted so their food reserves could cover for him too without immediately depleting.

As it was, it was obvious Spiky Raph had taken one look at their cabinets, deemed it too little, and settled on eating the same portions as them right on the spot, without even asking if they could bring larger portions of food on their trips. He should have said something…

…right. As if the snapper were the kind of person to admit to those things.

Leo sighed tiredly, this time outloud since he was alone, and continued to grab the food they needed. Hopefully this would be enough— 

“Hey-hey!” A claw poked his side.

“EAK!” Leo flinched and jumped away, oh shell he hadn’t even heard this Splinter approach. This one was a Master Ninja too, alright.

“Sorry, you were not answering me from far away,” Splinter whispered with palpable amusement, and Leo tried not to hide his head inside his shell, embarrassed. Oh no, was that a test? Had he just failed a surprise test? Shit, shit , what kind of incompetent impression was he giving— 

“I wanted to ask—”

“Sorry I was too distracted!” Leo bowed hurriedly. “I’ll be more aware next time, I promise.”

I’m better than this, I promise.

Splinter tilted his head to one side, apparently confused. “Eh? Uh, sure, no harm done.” He waved dismissively, and Leo sighed in relief and straightened up again. “Kid, are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Leo nodded, still inwardly berating himself for letting his thoughts run away from him. “Sorry I interrupted. What do you need?”

“Ah, yes, how much space do you have in your freezer?” Splinter gestured to the large bundle of meat he had taken. “Do you have space for this?”

Their fridge was an old model, the freezer wasn't large enough to keep more than a dozen packs or so. He shook his head slowly.

“No,” he answered out loud when Splinter didn’t react. “Maybe only a third or so would fit? If we arrange it right…”

“Hmm.” Splinter frowned down at his loot, and even though it wasn’t Leo’s fault, a cold sense of dread settled at the base of his stomach, like he had disappointed the man somehow. “Then we should take some coolers from the camping section too, at least for the short term. I’m sure Purple will come up with a long-term solution another day.”

Coolers! Of course, obviously, Leo should have thought of that, he should have suggested that instead of just saying their freezer wasn’t big enough, he should have thought of alternative solutions and— 

“Do you know where those are?” Splinter interrupted his inner self-reprimanding rant, and Leo straightened to his full height and nodded decisively. He wouldn’t fail anymore.

“Yeah. Let me take your bag and I’ll fill the coolers, so we take the quantity we need.” It wouldn’t do to accidentally grab less.

“That works, that way we keep the freezer free for your loot,” Splinter agreed amiably, handing over his bag and extending the opposite palm to receive Leo’s.

Bags exchanged, Leo focused completely on his new mission, and refused to let his thoughts wander anymore. This Splinter was silently testing him, and he refused to let him down, refused to fail. 

He was just as good, if not better, than his counterpart and he was going to prove it.

“Leo!” Raph whispered loudly when he passed by his aisle.

“On a mission, later!” Leo admonished and continued without pause.

(x)

(x)

(x)

“What the shell is wrong with him?” Raph complained, readjusting the bag of cans over his shoulder. 

“Is he not—”

“AGH!”

“ — always like this?” the smaller Splinter finished undeterred with an amused twitch at the corner of the mouth, like he hadn’t just given Raph a heart attack. 

You need a damn bell, Raph wanted to complain, but even if this Splinter seemed like a much more lighthearted version of sensei, he wasn’t quite that willing to test it yet. 

“Nah, he’s always like this,” Raph admitted with a heavy grunt as he shifted the bag again. Maybe he had taken too many cans, the flannel bag may end up tearing.

“Want to pass some over? The one Just Leo grabbed for frozen foods still has some space.”

“I’ll just carry it,” Raph refused, bringing his loot to the front so he could support it from the base. 

The shorter man hummed in acknowledgment, facing in the direction Leo had taken.

Facing, not looking, because this Splinter had remained with his eyes closed all night.

“Do your eyes hurt or something?”

“Heh,” Splinter snorted a sharp sound. “Perhaps a bit. I will be fine, I just need to rest them for a while.”

Raph hummed, studying the man’s face for a moment. “Donnie could check it out.”

“My Purple already has, earlier this year. It will be fine, do not worry.”

It seemed like a sensitive topic, so Raph let it rest. 

A long pause of silence stretched over them, and Raph sat down, inwardly cursing Leo. They should be leaving soon, what the heck was he even doing? And more importantly, why was he taking so long?

“Mini-red?”

“Huh?”

“Do you mind that name?” Splinter asked, sitting at his side. A big, unconscious part of Raph had expected him to remain standing and away, so the approach came off as surprising.

“Eh,” Raph made a so-so gesture, looking at his lap. “Your stud— your sons are all colors for you, so I guess it makes sense.”

Students . No, it wasn’t like that, not for them. Not really.

Splinter nodded. “If you ever change your mind just let me know.”

Raph grunted noncommittally, and closed his eyes, fingers tapping at the bag uneasily as he waited for Leo to come back from his fucking vacation to the freaking Bahamas, because he was taking an eternity to come back— 

“Say,” Splinter muttered softly. “Can I ask something about your father?”

Fuck Leo, fuck , why was that question directed at him, why was his brother taking so long, Leo should be the one answering that, he was the one that would be less bothered by it— 

“Ask Leo,” Raph snapped before he could control himself, and flinched by reflex.

Sensei tended to express a lot silently, with his stare alone, but this Splinter would have to use words or gestures. He expected a harsh exhale and a disappointed ‘ Raphael’ that…

That never came.

Raph still refused to look in this Splinter’s direction though. Eyes closed or not, he could feel the weight of an analytic gaze on him. He remained tense, body completely frozen in place. 

“...sensitive topic, I see. Sorry, I did not mean to make you uncomfy,” Splinter sighed heavily, and Raph could tell when the man faced away because the weight over his shoulders went away with it, and he could finally slump again.

Raph nodded, then remembered the rat mutant wouldn’t see that, and forced out a shaky grunt of acknowledgement. Fuck, this atmosphere was nothing like the one they had when coming here.

“...about Lou Jitsu.”

“Yeah?”

“At which age did you start?” Raph asked the first thing that came to his head.

“Oh, I was quite young, yes,” Splinter sighed fondly, but oddly enough didn’t elaborate beyond that, even though he had been happy to rant about his younger days on their way here. Shit, Raph had fucked up that badly, huh?

“...can I ask about Red? About his stay here.”

That was better than talking about sensei, so Raph gave a curt nod, mentally cursed himself for forgetting again, then answered out loud with a sighed: “yeah.”

“Thank you for being there for him, he does not do well alone,” Splinter said softly, one hand tentatively extended forward until it slowly, sloooowly rested on Raph’s shoulder. He guessed that was the man’s way to let him decide whether he wanted to move away from it or not.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Raph said with fond annoyance. The Big Guy had spent almost everyday sleeping over with someone, or all of them, depending on the night. He preferred not to sleep alone if he could help it, Raph had to admit he had become sort of used to the added weight now.

Splinter smiled softly, knowingly. “Your family… met Chief right before we came here, I have been told.”

“Chief?”

“Hmm. My sons call him Puffs.”

Ah. “Yeah, we met him. He’s got a hard shell to crack, but he’s fine most of the time.”

Raph still wondered what would have happened, if Donnie’s ringing phone hadn’t interrupted them back then. Puffs had looked like he was starting to come down from the adrenaline and frustration of whatever had made him get mad at Mikey in the first place, as his little brother apologized repeatedly with his puppy-eyed look, and the ex-soldier sighed fondly and patted his brother’s head exactly once.

The snapper had remained silent for the longest time afterward.

“Dude, we need words. You know words. Use them and tell us what the heck is wrong.”

Each sentence had been highlighted with a light punch at the guy’s arm, and Puffs had snorted, the tension on his shoulders lowering for a short moment. His gaze had turned almost… sad, for a second, as he glanced at the door that led outside, back to the lair.

“You genuinely don’t know, do you?”

Whatever it was they didn’t know remained a mystery. 

“He is a hard person to understand sometimes, yes,” Splinter agreed, tail flipping up and down in a way that was really like the snapper’s self-grounding gesture. “Do you have any semblance of what may have been going through his head back then?”

“Not a clue,” Raph answered honestly, and Splinter hummed and nodded.

They stayed silent for a short moment.

“There is… another alter that fronts sometimes,” Splinter said softly, and Raph’s whole body tensed up again at the question it would bring. “Did you meet him?”

Yes, yes he did, and he didn’t want to talk about what had caused Savage to front, he still refused to. His brothers hadn’t asked again, thank fuck they hadn’t asked again, how the shell was he supposed to answer that outloud— 

The pressure on his shoulder lessened, and only then did Raph remember this Splinter had been touching his shoulder. Fuck, that meant he obviously noticed him tensing up, noticed him curling on himself— 

“All ready now,” Leo chose that moment to come back, wheeling a shopping cart towards them with a smile of self-satisfaction, and Raph hurriedly stood up, turning away from his brother with the excuse of bending down to pick up the bag.

“Well done, Just Leo,” Splinter greeted warmly, smile slightly subdued but still larger than anything sensei ever did, and he didn’t need to turn around to see Leo preening under the praise. He had always done that.

“We’re gonna need to take the cart ‘cause these are too many coolers to carry back, but yeah!” Leo even sounded excited, like a kid showing off to dad. “We’re ready now, sens— uh, I mean, ehm… Splinter?”

Leo visibly deflated, looking at the rat mutant sheepishly.

“What about Splints?” the man offered simply, not addressing the slip up, and Leo let out a relieved “yeah,” as they finally left the premises.

Thankfully, even though Leo was already back and available for questioning, Splints didn’t ask about Savage or sensei on their way back.

Chapter Text

Of Fathers and Pizza

Reminder: Dee, Angelo, Raph, Leon, Splints = Rise fam

Donnie, Mikey, Rafa, Leo , Splinter = 12!Fam

Donnie hadn’t slept for as long as he would have liked to, but that was a given, considering the circumstances.

He had spent last night… well, watching over April for any new, life-threatening symptoms, yeah, and he had also talked with Leo when it became apparent something was troubling him, but the rest of the time Donnie had just been deeply lost in his own thoughts.

Admittedly, he was used to things depending on him. Not everything, sure, but something like discovering dimensional travel? Yeah, that was definitely a Donnie task. No one else would be able to come even close to an answer.

In all the time he had spent agonizing working on it, he had never once considered that the figuratively closed door could be opened from the other side as well.

The other Donatello— the softshell, his counterpart, had succeeded where Donnie had failed, and had managed to create a portal that had remained open for long enough to allow for all members of their family to cross over to this world. And if they had taken the snapper with them, if they had turned around and simply took their injured brother back home, the link between both dimensions would have been forever lost.

His counterpart would have discovered that, without something to help them point in the right direction, navigating through the sea of endless possibilities was simply futile. Opening the door again to reach this dimension would have been impossible, and by the time they reached that conclusion it would have been too late to change anything. And that…

That would have been Donnie’s fault. Maybe.

Maybe he and Leo should have trusted the others with the plan to interrogate the Krang not only about the whereabouts of April’s father, but also about interdimensional travel, something the aliens were obviously more knowledgeable and experienced on. And maybe…

“Can you open a gate to my dimension of origin, yes or no?”

Maybe Donnie should have just admitted to the prototype being ready to test? Admit he had been putting it off? No, no, if his first beta had been successful the snapper would have just crossed to the other side as fast as he could, afraid something could malfunction and... and it would have been the same thing. 

No, the issue still was that there was no known answer regarding how long the portal could stay open, or if there was a way to keep both worlds connected. They needed to find a way to make a stable bridge, instead of being figuratively dropped in the middle of the ocean and expected to find the way back to New York without any sort of map or guide.

“You have ten hours to inform me if that answer changes, Second.”

That wasn’t something that could be fixed in just a handful of hours, but Puffs had still given that ultimatum, as if the soldier had found an alternative solution. He had led April directly to the Krang’s facilities right after…

Something in Donnie’s exhausted brain finally, finally clicked.

The Krang. Puffs had probably reached the same conclusion as Donnie and Leo, that the aliens would know more than they did about interdimensional travel. Puffs wouldn’t— he wouldn’t have come back to the lair if Mikey hadn’t pressed the panic button. The soldier had been willing to cross that one-time door, knowing fully well that there would be no path back. That they would never see each other again. 

Every action and inaction has a consequence , going to the Krang had been an obvious, logical choice for the soldier, that phrase was probably chastising Donnie for not having thought of that sooner when the snapper had immediately reached it in the few hours he had been fronting. He had been so stupid, stupid, stupid! Dumb, dumb, dumb— 

“Donnie?” April called sleepily. “Wha— why are you calling yourself that…?”

Donnie scrubbed his face and sighed, forcefully shifting his thoughts to other things, April’s condition being the most urgent. Although he probably should check up on the others too… Leo’s respiratory system, Rad’s cracked shell, Splinter’s recovering from blood loss and an impaled shoulder— 

“One thing at a time Don,” April called softly, extending a hand towards him. He grabbed it and squeezed it a couple of times, appreciative of the grounding gesture.

“Yeah, sorry, the To-Do list just— it never stops,” Donnie smiled sheepishly. 

“Donnie… did you sleep any?” April’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“I’ll get to it,” Donnie shrugged, glancing at the wall sheepishly for a second before coming back to her, face serious. “Now, about you. Obviously mind-reading is still in effect, and based on your experience at the T.C.R.I. it’s area-based and not individual-based, which means that you’ll get a cacophony of voices talking all at the same time if you step up into the city. I’m sorry, but I must insist for you to remain with us until—”

“The Krang’s objective wasn’t my father,” April interrupted with a pained expression, and Donnie immediately halted in his rant. “That day— when they took us that day. They wanted me, I’ve always been— they took him because he was with me, it was my fault, I—”

It must have been a recent discovery, Donnie's tired brain deduced. April’s breakdown was her just finally processing it. 

Thus, like the good friend he was trying to be, Donnie stepped closer to give her a grounding hug. He had comforted Leo last night, and he was improving at these things, he really hoped this was good enough.

“You’re doing great,” April hiccuped and sniffed. “Thanks Donnie, I’m sorry, I just—  everything is so much, so many things in a single night.”

Yeah, Donnie could relate to that sentiment.

“Subject One said— that they don’t need to keep dad alive, because I’ll still go if I believe he can still be rescued. He said that the more we wait, the lower the chance for dad to— to survive , and—”

…no wonder April had accepted to go with him, the soldier had manipulated her, right at her weak spot.

“No, no, he sounded genuine, I think— he really believes that. He said— he said he would do the same for his brothers… uhm, or maybe he thought it? I think he was speaking with Spiky Raph? Uhh, sometimes it’s hard to tell what was said and what was just thought…”

Donnie hummed, patting April between the shoulder blades. Pat, pat, calming pats. Softly since she had no shell and thus could feel it more directly. One, two, and three time’s the charm, or so the phrase went. Maybe he could speak now?

“We’ll rescue him on time,” he reassured. “We’ll grab one of the Krang’s for questioning, we already have a warehouse ready for that—”

“I’ll go with you guys! I can— I can hear , even if it doesn’t speak, so I need to go. Don’t leave me behind, ok?”

“...you’re shivering. April, the Krang kidnapped you from home… you don’t have to face them again.” That was probably traumatic, and Donnie didn’t even know how or why the aliens had stopped midway, or what had happened when she and Puffs went to their facilities. It was understandable if she didn’t want to face the Krang ever again.

“I’ll manage,” April shook her head firmly, forehead still pressed at Donnie’s shoulder. “They have my dad, Donnie. I’ll help.”

“...ok,” he knew better than to fight her on this. “We’ll go through the details once we can plan for it, yeah?”

“Yeah,” April sighed in relief and exhaustion. 

“For now it’s better if you stay alone, no more than two people with you at the same time, ok?”

“I’ll get a migraine otherwise, yeah,” April agreed with a deep sigh. “Spiky Raph’s fam… are they ok? They sounded happy but also very uh, exhausted. Among other things.”

“They don’t leave his side, they’re all piled up in his room,” Donnie said matter-of-factly and with no trace of envy whatsoever, even though he wanted to sleep too.

“They liked the pizza?”

“Everyone likes pizza,” Donnie reassured distractedly. “I ate, you ate, they’re eating, it’s fine. There’s some boxes left for when Leo and Raph come back, and the— uh, Splinters can eat too, I guess.”

“Ok,” April said simply, for once not trying to convince Donnie to spend more time with sensei. There were other things to worry about now, he supposed.

“I’ll go check on them, then Splinter.” Donnie slowly pulled back from the hug. April had kept the pressure mostly on his shell so he wasn’t overwhelmed by it, she was really mindful.

“Then you sleep?” April smiled tiredly, but expectant. There was only one socially-correct answer.

“Then I sleep,” Donnie agreed half-truthfully.

… but in the end, he had slept first. To be fair, it was hard not to once he was grabbed and integrated into the turtle pile, churring sound added to the background noise. With his eyes closed and as tired as Donnie had been, tricking his mind into thinking the voices around him belonged to his brothers and not their counterparts was easy.

His nap didn’t last for long though.

“— it’s been too long already?” the voice... Leon, probably.

“Walmart is not closeby, and dad’s probably following their pace,” Rad reassured somewhere nearby.

“It’s been an hour!”

“S’gonna take ‘em another ten minutes then,” Donnie rasped drowsily, blinking his eyes open. Ughh, Leo was gonna be mad if he came back and Donnie hadn’t checked on Splinter… or made the rat mutant eat something.

With a deep sigh, he forced his limbs to move and slowly escaped from the turtle pile.

“...Don?” Spiky Raph called with a confused frown. He looked out of it too, kinda. What was the word? Dissociative? Something like that.

“Gonna check his shoulder,” Donnie gestured in the general direction of the dojo, and the snapper hummed in acknowledgment and let him go.

“Whose shoulder?” Leon inquired with interest, which made sense considering he was the medic of their team.

“I’ve got it covered,” Donnie waved dismissively with a big yawn, parting the curtain aside and paddling out of the room. With only one eye open, he grabbed the medical kit and made his way to the paper doors to slide them open.

The dojo was still being repaired, but the punch-sized craters had finally disappeared from the floor, only the ones of the wall remained. Thus, Donnie could venture inside without tripping up on the spots with missing tiles, even in his sleepy state, and knocked on Splinter’s door.

Once, twice, thrice. No answer.

“I’mma open in three,” Donnie warned, forcing the sleepiness out of his system. “I need to check on your shoulder.” 

He mentally counted up to two, before the door slid open slightly. Just wide enough for a single eye to peek through.

“...is anyone else with you?” Sensei asked somewhat warily. Yeah, mood.

“No, just me,” Donnie answered honestly, and sensei nodded and opened the door fully, a clawed hand pulling the robes off the injured shoulder. The bandages were dirty with dried blood.

“...when did it reopen?” Donnie sighed exasperatedly. Why was everybody such a bad patient, damn it.

“I’m ashamed to admit, I do not know,” Splinter closed his eyes and sighed heavily. “I was—”

“Meditating?”

“ — submerged deeply in — yes,” Splinter opened his eyes and stared unseeingly at his own lap, as Donnie knelt down to start peeling off the used bandages. “Yes, I— after Miwa left…”

Sensei trailed off and let out another deep sigh. “I’m coming to terms with her decision.”  

“Ok,” Donnie answered simply, not in the mood to think much of it. “This is going to hurt.”

Even if the area had been shaved, the blood still made the bandages sticky, and it was going to pull at the injury. Splinter didn’t react to his warning, didn’t even flinch as Donnie removed it fully, already preparing the gauze to clean the wound again.

Splinter remained unresponsive for the whole process, surprisingly enough. 

“...done.” Donnie leaned back, looking for anything else he might have missed, but there was nothing else he needed to attend to. “Now you have to come out, eat something."

Sensei's ear twitched in the direction of the dojo’s door and nodded, silently pulling the sleeve of his robe to cover his shoulder again, uncaring of the stain of blood that now adorned the fabric.

He made no motion to step out.

Donnie groaned, frustrated. “You need to eat something—”

“I brought some pizza,” another voice interrupted, and Donnie almost jumped out of his freaking shell, what the heck, he hadn’t even heard— when did the other, shorter Splinter, come into the dojo!?

“When!?” Donnie couldn’t help but ask. He was a ninja too, how the shell had this Splinter snuck on him?

The shorter Splinter smiled weakly, a single pizza box on hand. “Just now, don’t worry. Want some pizza?”

“I already ate,” Donnie shook his head and stood up, glancing back at the taller rat mutant. “You two can eat together.”

He didn’t need to stay now that there was someone else to feed sensei. Who knows, perhaps the Splinters would understand each other. They could meditate together, or whatever sensei normally did to make friends. 

Pops could leave the tots to me. I was five, so old enough to take care of my stuff and look after my brothers— 

Out of all of them, Splinter should be the one to get along with himself more easily. The similarities were already there anyway.

(x)

(x)

(x)

Splints had mildly wondered about what his counterpart would be like. He would have been happy to find a version of himself that was better, that didn’t— didn’t have to deal with bad days, but witnessing the other’s unresponsiveness… 

And the way this version of Purple interacted with him, as the tallest of the four brothers left the dojo without looking back, not even once, the door sliding shut with a deciding ‘thud’. Mini-Red had also mentioned something about Karai — Splinter’s daughter in this dimension? — leaving as well. 

Perhaps they were more alike than he had first thought.

Blue had avoided talking about this Splinter when he asked, the slider had just snickered to himself and commented on the height difference, diverting the attention to the physical traits and teasing Splints, like he was prone to do when trying not to think too deeply about something. Or about someone.

Red had been too out of it to really comment much, having spent most of the morning lost in thought. The snapper had just mentioned a soft: “He cares. He tries,” that was more telling than Red himself realized, most likely.

Splints had wondered why his counterpart hadn’t noticed Red wasn’t eating as much as he needed to, it should have been obvious given Red's complexion, but if the other man had been stuck… then that explained why. 

Splints could understand that. He was painfully, painfully aware of how it felt like, to be trapped in your own mind, unable to command your own limbs to move, no energy to do anything other than sleep and breathe and exist. 

Barely, but exist nevertheless.

And Mini-Red hadn’t wanted to talk about his father… hadn’t wanted to talk about Savvy either. 

Splints had felt the irregularity of the floor, in a place he hadn’t expected to feel it, and had opened his eyes to take a peek at the room. Even through the blurriness of the image, he could determine there were some missing tiles, but the earth underneath was already smoothed out, already prepared to be repaired fully.

The walls, however.

He could recognize the size, he had seen it many times across the years. In Red’s room, in the kitchen’s wall, in the TV room, in the gym. Always after a particularly difficult time, sometimes caused by Red, other times by a reacting, spooked Savvy. He wondered which of the two was responsible for these… what had led to these?

“Well?” the taller Splinter called, staring straight ahead instead of turning to face Splints. The other rat mutant had straightened his posture, one single ear pointed in his direction. Like he was awaiting judgment, and had decided he would receive it with as much honor as he was capable of showing.

Splints judged himself daily, and found himself lacking. Was there any need to judge another version of himself as harshly as he did to himself already?

“Pizza?” He offered instead as an olive branch, forcing his eyesight as much as he could, because this Splinter may need him to pick on the silent signals as well. “You must be hungry.”

The taller — and honestly more handsome-ish, not fair — version of himself exhaled heavily, brows twitching. That had not been what the man expected, he seemed… bothered by it? To an extent, huh.

“Not particularly,” Splinter admitted, still looking at the wall. He was seated in perfect seiza, proper, and had yet to move an inch. 

Was this Splinter expecting him to be someone strict and harsh, like his Gramps had been?

Splints plopped gracelessly on the floor with a tired grunt, sitting cross-legged. He was outside of Splinter’s room, but still close enough to hand over a slice if the other so decided. He could show him he was lighthearted, no problem.

“Welp, if you change your mind, there is enough for the both of us,” Splints grinned to hide his inner musings, and opened the box to help himself with a slice. 

He closed his eyes and ate in silence. Perhaps like this, the other would feel more reassured that he was not being judged— although to be honest, every judgment would have come out positive. The fur of his counterpart seemed well-kept, he hadn’t spent weeks without grooming himself like Splints sometimes still did. The robes were clean except for the stain on the shoulder, the room seemed ordered, unlike Splints’ mess of covers, rotting food remains, and empty food wrappers—

“What are you attempting to do?”

The question caught him off guard. Splints paused mid-bite, and opened his eyes once more to look up at his counterpart.

He had tried to come across as unjudging as possible, but it seemed that was a courtesy his counterpart was not willing to return. Trying not to think too deeply about it, Splints finished his bite and used his sleeve to wipe off the sauce from the corner of his mouth, humming pensively.

“To be honest? I’m trying to eat with you,” Splints answered with a shrug. “Your Purple— er, your Donatello, seemed a bit… concerned. So, care to join me, eh?”

Splints pushed the pizza box towards him. Splinter looked down at it, sighed, and extended a hand to grab a slice for himself. That was progress, wohoo!

“Thanks for the food,” Splints said, albeit a bit late, as he went for his third slice, raising the pizza as if it were a cup of sake.

“Itadakimas,” Splinter nodded in agreement, somehow managing to do something as mundane as eating pizza with grace. Proper, he wouldn’t look out of place in a palace, or in Grandpa’s place, which had held pretty much the same expectations as the goddamn royalty-

Well, so long the man was eating Splints wouldn’t judge, honestly he had no right to. Splints closed his eyes once more, and ate his fill with a grand total of four slices, unbothered by the silence. He lived surrounded by noise 24/7, it was hard not to with a house with three teens and a barely-adult, so the reprieve for his sensitive ears was kind of welcome.

“...how was your stay last night?” Splinter asked tentatively, if a bit awkward. Probably still on high alert then.

“Eh, I have lived as a pillow for long enough to not complain,” Splints dismissed with a wave, but did open his eyes once more. Effort was to be met with effort, it was only fair. “Yours?”

Splinter looked down at him like he was wondering how the heck that could be considered an answer to his question, before shaking his head and replying with a soft: “Gone in a blink. I lost track of time… again.”

He seemed disappointed with himself. Splints nodded in understanding, looking down at his own hands.

“I remember… I remember mistaking days for months, back then,” Splints admitted softly, the memory of it painful and raw, even after so many years had gone by. This wasn’t— it wasn’t something he talked about with his sons or— with anyone, really. It was the lowest he had ever been, he still wondered if he would have survived the first months after his mutation, after Draxum’s arrest, if Red hadn’t left food for him also.

He could feel Splinter’s gaze on him, hear the sharp intake of breath. Perhaps this Splinter had also been expecting— expecting his counterpart to be better than him?

If so they were both disappointed, but at least they could help each other. Having gone through something so similar, perhaps they could— could advise each other, help on the bad days, so there wouldn’t be as many. Cover for the other if they weren’t feeling good.

That way they could rely on another adult, instead of the sons they were supposed to be able to take care of. Adults should be the caregivers, not the other way around…

“It’s been years since then… but nowadays I still— still get stuck, sometimes.” He closed his palms into fists, fingers trembling. “For days in a row. I don’t— not a full week, not anymore, but— some days. It is, uh, difficult, you know, and sometimes— it does not go away, not really, not fully, no matter how many years pass by….”

Splints took in a deep breath. “I understand… I understand what it feels like.”

A long pause of silence. Splints didn’t dare to look up, not quite yet. He let go of the tension of his shoulders, relaxed his fingers, and lifted a single hand to rub the back of his neck in one of the few human gestures that had survived so many years of living as a rat mutant.

“It is ok to have bad days, better ones will come,” Splints said out loud what he always repeated to himself, and lifted his head to meet the gaze of his counterpart as best as he could. “For now, you can rest, we have already replenished the food stocks— eh, considering my sons’ appetite, even. You can rest assured, everyone is alright and here with us.”

He stopped his speech at last, waiting patiently for a response. His chest felt lighter already, confiding in someone was quite therapeutic, he had to admit. It also made him feel less alone, now that he had found someone that could also understand what it felt like to— 

“As much as I ... appreciate your good intent,” Splinter said softly but firmly, lowering his head just a tad as he bowed at him. He seemed uncomfortable and slightly apologetic. “I believe we are quite different, you and I.”

Splinter raised from the bow and met his gaze once more. “I would be grateful if you could refrain from projecting your own experiences on me in the future.”

All the warmth and lightness Splints had been feeling evaporated as he took in a sharp breath, the weight of a bowling ball falling at the base of his stomach. His fur stood on end as he shivered, tail straightening it out, pressed to the floor.

For a moment, he couldn’t breathe, or speak, or even blink, as he looked up at his counterpart— as Splinter stared down at him.

That was a slap to the face. A very roundabout, polite, and Japanese slap, but a slap nonetheless. A reprimand, Splints had spoken out of turn, had assumed dishonorable things about the host and was now paying for it. 

He could perfectly visualize Grandpa answering like that to an outsider that knew nothing about the burden and sacrifice all Hamato’s carried with them by virtue of being born into the clan. The equivalent of a “yeah, thanks, but you don’t get it, so shut up.”

“Perhaps you should take your advice to someone who would truly require it,” Splinter stared meaningfully in his direction, brows raised.

Correction, it was a “shut up and get the fuck out already.”

Splints swallowed, saliva feeling like lead as it went down his throat. He was so tense he was surprised he hadn’t choked on it.

“I have misspoken,” Splints admitted neutrally, closing his eyes and giving a light nod back, and if they were tearful behind the eyelids, no one had to know. “Sorry.”

Splinter hummed, moved further into his room, and slid the door close with a soft sound.

Splints stayed there for a short moment as he composed himself, silent and bowing. Breathing, in and out, in…. and out… he needed to be calm, before delving out of the dojo and towards his family again. Blue and Orange were much too perceptive, it wouldn’t do to meet them until Splints was fully back into his senses.

In and out, in and— shit. Shit.

A single tear fell down on his lap.

This Splinter had been expecting him to be someone strict and harsh, like his Gramps had been. In fact, that would have been well-received from his perspective. This Splinter could probably sit down to drink tea with the ancestors and be accepted by them, accepted by Gramps, if the ghosts had stayed after the Shredder’s defeat.

This Splinter was everything Gramps had wanted him to be. All the ancestors would be proud.

You have taught them many other things like the importance of family. From where I sit Yoshi, you have made the clan proud.

Except maybe for Gram-gram Karai… and out of all the stupid, strict, inflexible,  let’s-sacrifice-mothers-and-raise-their-children-to-follow-suit Hamato ancestors, she was the only one whose opinion Splints cared about.

Anata Wa, Hitori Ja Nai.

Karai and Splint’s mother. They were the only older Hamatos whose opinion mattered to him.

“Anata wa, hitori ja nai,” Splints whispered to himself among deep breaths. Calm down, he needed to calm down… 

So he had met the mutant version of Gramps and made the mistake of opening up to him. No big deal, Splints could move past that no problem, he still could interact with his counterpart if he had to. He would just be more careful from this point on.

It didn’t matter. His family was here, he would take care of his sons and— and there was another version of his kids to get to know more in depth! Just-Leo was such a nice kid, albeit a bit stiff, the kid should go out and play more, and Mini-Red reminded him of a younger Red at times, but was still so undoubtedly himself, it was refreshing to interact with him.

Younger Purple and Taller Orange were still a mystery. If anything, they needed better nicknames than those, so Splints should ask them sometime—

His ears twitched. Someone was coming closer to the room, the light, furtive steps of someone that moved with confidence and flare. That familiar sound, Splints would recognize Blue's flare everywhere, at anytime.

Splints took one last breath, cleaned his face with his long sleeves, and picked up the pizza box, humming a light tune under his breath, tail dancing rhythmically along with his hips as he walked closer to the dojo’s door and waited.

“Heeeey dad?” Blue called a second after, sliding the door open.

“Hmm?” Splints interrupted his song with feigned surprise and grinned up at the new arrival. “Blue! Just in time to take the trash out, I see.”

Blue groaned dramatically to the ceiling, and Splints laughed loudly and handed over the empty box. 

“This is the thanks I get,” Blue dismayed. “Trashy-trash. Not even a slice for payment, nothing! Am I just free labor for you!?”

“Of course not,” Splinter patted Blue’s hip reassuringly, and joked: “All of you are. That is what sons are for, obviously.”

Another loud grunt of complaint, as Blue made a show of carrying the empty cardboard like it was the heaviest object he had ever lifted, dragging it all the way over to the trash can. Splints awaited until he was done with his theatrics before opening up his arms.

“Just this once, since you have helped with— WAIT NO!”

“DADDYYYY!” Blue screeched with dramatic tears in his eyes as he jumped at his arms and held to his shoulders in a princess carry. “I knew I was your favorite!”

“Ugk,” Splints moved with difficulty towards Red’s room. “What have you been eating—”

“I’m light as a feather, I know~”

“Blue, my hips are not what they used to.” 

“You can always cha-cha-cha it away, you have my permission as the family medic,” Blue winked and patted his shoulders, and Splints rolled his eyes so hard he was surprised they didn’t fall out like marbles.

He loved this drama queen so much, he would do this everyday if his bones weren’t so old.

But they were. Very, very old bones.

Thus, he dropped Blue at the sofa that was halfway to Red’s room, and ran the remainder of the way before the slider could jump to piggy ride at his back.

“Wha— Hey! Dad, that’s cheating!” Blue was already at his tail, he was so fast, whatever that ooze had in it had made his family one full of little chaotic supersoldiers.

In the end Splints barely made it to the room before he was tackled from behind, but was thankfully caught by Red’s instinctive hold. 

“Pops…? Oh, come on, Leo—”

“He started it!”

“ — you were just gonna check on him, not hug-crush him.”

“Ohhh, we’re crushing dad? Is it hug-crush day?” Orange added with visible interest, and Splints quickly hid under Red, pressed right at Purple’s side.

 “Nope, not yet,” Purple denied, looking at the calendar app on his forearm’s pad but otherwise not moving an inch. He still looked tired.

“Sounds like a lie!”

“Calendars don’t lie, actually.”

As the round of banter continued, Splints was happy to nestle at Purple’s side, sighing in relief.

Yes, he could continue just like this.

Chapter Text

05 Honestly Speaking

(8.3K words)

Reminder: Dee, Angelo, Raph, Leon, Splints = Rise fam

Donnie, Mikey, Rafa, Leo , Splinter = 12!Fam

The days were passing by in a blur.

Splinter was starting to lose track of when one started and the other ended, but in the end, he forced himself to step out of his meditation cycle, recriminating himself for losing sight of present time for so long.

He needed to leave the refuge his room in the dojo offered. Shen wouldn’t want him to remain stuck in a single place, she would want him to move on, to be ready for when their daughter decided to rely on him for support.

If she ever chose to rely on him for anything.

Besides, his sons were here, they still needed him, and Splinter was not his counterpart, he was not one that would ever ‘mistake months for days', he would never leave his tots to fend for themselves for long periods of time— 

Tots. No, not tots anymore, but teens. They had taken responsibility for gathering food already, taking each and every opportunity to go up to the human city and explore. They wanted to have fun, they were still so young.

Yes, they were still young, and Splinter had missed out on many things already. He would rather avoid more missed opportunities. Thus, he took his notebook with his notes of important concepts and advice he had considered most applicable — April’s books were very wise, but obviously intended for human audiences —  and turned on the light to re-read his own handwriting.

A few hours later, Splinter felt ready to step out of his room. He placed his notebook in the inside pocket of his robes, a physical reassurance that he had what he needed with him, at all times.

Patting the square resting on his chest, in what had quickly become a self-soothing gesture, he exited the dojo, expecting to be able to spend some quality time with his own children. Maybe even get to greet the new guests— 

His mood immediately soured upon finding his counterpart and Michelangelo together in the kitchen.

Splinter had tried to teach Michelangelo how to cook before it proved to be a fruitless endeavor. Was this excuse for an adult trying to seek victory where he had admitted defeat?

“Morning dad!” his youngest greeted distractedly, too focused on pouring— oh, ugh, pouring a ton of ketchup on his scrambled eggs. By the ancestors, why .

“Greetings to you,” his counterpart saluted without even bothering to face him, upper half engulfed by the upper cabinets as he searched for something. Splinter tried not to grimace at the sight. That man didn’t possess a single ounce of grace in his body. 

“Good morning. Please excuse me,” Splinter gave his youngest a nod and walked past the kitchen and towards the living room. He could hear the telltale sound of the TV commercials, the laser gun sounds of the arcade games.

And indeed, Leonardo was watching TV, while Raphael smashed the buttons of the arcade machine ruthlessly.

“Finally out, huh?” Raphael muttered under his breath, continuing to play without bothering to properly greet him.

“Sensei,” Leonardo smiled and stood up from his place on the sofa to give him a light nod, approaching only once Splinter had returned the gesture. “Are you ok? I mean, after…everything…”

Leonardo trailed off, rubbing self-consciously at his own arm. Splinter was trying to move past Karai’s decision, to live his days as if he didn’t have to carry the weight of her willing absence in each passing minute, and thus, didn’t address the question.

“I must admit, our home is calmer than I anticipated,” Splinter looked around, but no foreign turtles dropped from the ceiling. He had expected more movement and noise, from what little he remembered seeing on the snapper’s videos, the other turtles were quite the energetic bunch.

“Spiky Raph is on mandated rest, and they don’t go anywhere he doesn’t, so,” Leonardo shrugged, glancing tellingly in the direction of the snapper’s room.

“If I didn’t have proof of the contrary, I’d say their legs don’t work on their own and that’s why they gotta be carried everywhere,” Donatello added with an eye roll Splinter assumed was meant to be playful, stepping out of the open doors of his laboratory. “Good to see you out and about, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Splinter nodded at him, grateful for both the words and the medical assistance he had continued to receive in the past few days.

His tallest hummed noncommittally, not looking directly at him as he walked past and joined Raphael at the arcade zone, handing some tools to his brother while he used another to pop open the button-area of the machine.

The silence went on unperturbed, a bit uncomfortably, so Splinter cleared his throat. “I was thinking we could… do something today.”

Raphael gave him a sideway glance, arms crossed, still facing the game machine instead of Splinter. 

“Like what?” Leonardo was the only one to address his suggestion. Oh, this was going to be a difficult day…

His sons — particularly Donatello and Raphael — were prone to follow their own moods. Sometimes they would lend Splinter some of their time and attention, recognizing he was trying to improve. Other days they would decline his offers and leave him alone.

'That’s what you want, isn’t it? To be left alone to meditate? Well, here you go. You’re welcome.'

Splinter sighed deeply, gripping his cane more strongly to give the emotions a discreet outlet.

“Perhaps… you could choose the activity today?” His mind drew blank on possible activities, given that he usually— considering that training was not an option. “What do you wish to do for entertainment? Videogames? Watch a movie? Dive into the outskirts of the city?”

“Uh… we could watch something on the TV?” Leonardo offered tentatively— 

“Are you really not gonna apologize?” Raphael interrupted, finally turning to face him directly. He seemed angry.

Splinter supposed he should have known better than to try to ignore the way in which his own absence may have affected his family, although Raphael had simply chosen not to visit him in the dojo… 

“My apologies,” Splinter settled on saying, not wishing to fight his son over that technicality. “It took me a longer time than I thought it would, to process— to accept her decision. I did not mean to stay inside my own chambers for such a number of days—”

“Not that,” Raphael scoffed incredulously. “You owe it— “

“Raph, no—”

“ — to Leo — shut up Leo, you fucking deserve one, you know you do! We know you do! What happened—!”

Whatever remained of that phrase died down as green eyes glanced at something past him. Splinter didn’t have to turn around to know who was now approaching.

“Pssst, hey,” Michelangelo whispered loudly with a visibly uncomfortable smile. “So, uh, I can hear ya’ guys all the way over to the kitchen, which means, you know…”

Splinter’s shorter counterpart was also listening. Probably the guests over at the snapper’s room could as well. Discussing family matters in front of guests, what a dishonorable picture…

 “...Donatello, if we may borrow your laboratory?” Splinter had discovered not too long ago that his son had, in fact, improved the sound-proof quality of his lab.

“Ugh,” his tallest grimaced. “Do I have to be there… yes, yes I do. Just don’t touch anything,” he settled by himself, slamming the button-compartment of the arcade machine close. 

Raphael flinched minutely. “Sorry Don.”

“You just had to bring it up right now,” the tallest rolled his eyes.

“We can skip it,” Leonardo tried to dismiss. “I don’t need an apology Raph, it was— I can get why—”

Raphael seemed even more peeved by the suggestion. “So what, we act like it never happened? What a wonderful way to fucking solve things, let’s ignore them and not talk about shit—”

“Raph,” Leo gave his brother a meaningful gaze.

“ — just because it’s an uncomfortable topic!”

“Raph!” the youngest insisted more urgently, giving a placating gesture. “We’re not alone dude.”

Raphael made a strangling gesture at the air and marched towards Donatello’s laboratory, silently fuming with every step. His tallest sighed and trailed behind him in silence, tools forgotten close to the arcades. Splinter could hear the soft murmurs as he asked April to leave the lab for a short moment.

“I’m so sorry, sensei,” Leonardo whispered with a shake of the head, slowly trailing behind his brothers.

“Open and honest communication can open up channels of healing and foster resilience amidst family adversity,” Splinter recited confidently, having re-read his notes enough times to memorize a few of the most relevant phrases. “Besides, it is better to give him an outlet, I better address this now.”

Splinter knew Raphael, he knew his hot-headed son wouldn’t let the topic rest until he had said what he felt needed to be said, and done what he thought needed to be done. Splinter wasn’t sure what exactly he had done to merit this, but he would face it.

“I guess better now than never…” Michelangelo whispered with concern but walked behind Splinter, stepping into the lab right at the same time as April stepped out, one hand keeping a headband in place over her forehead.

“Hey, the prototype seems to be working,” April commented with relief, giving a thumbs up at Donatello. “No voices so far!”

His son smiled with relief and returned the gesture, expression soft until the moment the door of the lab closed down, after which it went back to unreadable neutrality. 

They were now completely isolated from the others. 

Raphael remained standing with crossed arms, glaring at his own feet. Donatello was leaning against his brother’s shoulder, looking at the wall instead of focusing on any of them.

Similarly, Michelangelo had a hand on Leonardo’s shoulder, whispering something to his oldest brother, who looked pained and conflicted.

Everyone was standing, and thus, Splinter kneeled down, sitting in seiza on the floor. 

Lowering yourself to a child's level when greeting them is important for several reasons. First, it helps to establish eye contact at their level, which can make the child feel more comfortable and respected. It also creates a sense of equality and shows that you are willing to engage with them on their terms.

Splinter was more than willing to meet them on their terms. He patted the notebook resting over his heart, thankful for the advice, and waited patiently.

“Uhm… sensei?” Leonardo spoke at last, sitting on seiza right in front of him. He still looked unsure on how to proceed.

Splinter shook his head, sadness leaking in his words. “No, I’m not sensei. Not right now.”

Leonardo flinched and lowered his gaze to his own knees. “Sorry dad.”

“Old habits are quite hard to forget,” Splinter nodded in understanding. He waited for his eldest to speak, but the words seemed painfully stuck in his throat, three fingers curling into fists as his hands trembled over his lap. 

“Do you want me to start, Leo?” Raphael offered, leaning forward to knock on Leonardo’s shell.

“Or we can leave, if you’d rather us not being here,” Donatello mentioned offhandedly, still not meeting anyone’s gaze. 

“Or I can start,” Michelangelo offered, pushing at Raphael’s cheek to move him aside until the youngest could lean against the oldest’s shell. “You know, since I’m more tactful than certain people.”

“Say that again, pipsqueak—” Raphael started with a short huff, but was interrupted by Donatello linking arms with him.

“Blunt and Sharp for the win,” the tallest smirked at his other brothers. “We’re the best duo and you know it, so you can keep your tactfulness for yourselves.”

The light banter seemed to help Leonardo relax a little, fingers uncurling as he raised a hand to rub the back of his head, giving a small laugh. 

“So we’re the Tactful duo?” Leonardo glanced at the smallest turtle.

“I liked Ocean Surfing more,” Michelangelo pouted. “You know, you’re deep blue and I’m obviously the best at surfing out of all of us—”

“We’ve never surfed Mikey,” Donatello deadpanned.

“Well, we should! You guys can all fight for second place, ‘cause I’ll be the best—”

“We could go surfing,” Splinter agreed lightly with a warm smile for his youngest. “We would have to be careful when selecting the place, but if it is dark at night the risk of being seen should lower considerably.”

His interference immediately made the light banter die out.

“...we could,” Leonardo smiled slightly, always among the first to speak to Splinter.

“Speaking of, there’s something that happened at the docks at night—” Raphael started with a scoff, only to be hushed by both Michelangelo and Donatello. 

“Shhh!”

“Let Leo try!”

“The docks?” Splinter asked, mind going to the first and last time he had been with his family close to the ocean’s water. 

His fight with the Shredder. The revelation of Karai’s true identity, the way Savage had tackled her down, hard enough for her to lose consciousness, and how his mind had filled with panic and dread at the thought of losing her again, losing her before he could even get to know her, before he could explain the truth. He had rushed at her side, cradled her in his arms, letting out a relieved sigh upon finding a pulse. 

He had ignored his bleeding shoulder, the pain of the stab wound as it pulsed with every movement. He had ignored the splash of water as the Shredder submerged in the sea along with the snapper, he had ignored the ragged breath of— 

Of…

“Leonardo,” Splinter focused on his son, who looked pained beyond words, the expression so raw and honest that it made his heart shatter in pieces.

Splinter had focused on Miwa, had needed to know she would live, that she hadn’t received unrepairable internal damage. He had registered and dismissed the picture of his oldest son curled in fetal position, crying with uneven coughs, because his son had been injured, yes, but he was sure to survive. Lacrymogen gas was an uncomfortable experience, but not a lethal one, not since his turtle could still breathe.

Splinter had prioritized his actions instinctually. He had never stopped to consider how that action would be perceived by his sons…

“Why is her well-being more important than that of your own son?” The memory of the snapper’s snarl, as the soldier reproached his actions, came to mind. 

Splinter took a deep breath, letting go of the memory to be able to focus on the present. 

“Leonardo… son, may I?” he called softly, opening his arms tentatively. He moved forward upon receiving a shaky nod, engulfing his oldest in a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, my son,” Splinter whispered at the top of his head, taking a deep breath as he tried not to cry himself— 

Embracing vulnerability can be a powerful tool in your parenting journey. Showing up authentically and openly as a vulnerable parent can bring immense strength, connection, and growth for both you and your children.

The pressure in his chest got tighter for a second, because Splinter’s instinct, everything he had learned under his father in the Hamato compound, everything he had ever been, during all his life, shivered at the concept of showing weakness to anyone, be that a complete stranger or someone close and dear to his heart.

But Shen… Shen had embraced him when he cried, once he realized that his father would never accept or love their little Miwa. She hadn’t thought him weak, hadn’t seen him as anything less than he had always been.

Splinter felt like crying. If he was truthful, he had felt like crying all these past days, but had never given himself the luxury of actually delving into that emotion. But here, with only his sons as witness, with his oldest in his arms and distressed as well?

“So— sorry,” Splinter allowed his voice to crack, allowing for the tremors to come up to the surface as he hugged his little turtle, tail curling around them. “Leonardo, I never meant to ignore you in your time of distress, I was not— not thinking clearly that night. I thought Miwa— I thought she may die, die before I could… properly talk with her, and my mind reeled with these scenarios so in depth that I… I did what I did. I’m sorry I didn’t help you, sorry I didn’t think about checking if you and your brothers were alright, I should have— it was my responsibility to ensure your wellbeing and I failed. I failed you, I failed all of you.”

Leonardo sobbed on his chest, shaking minutely. “Am I enough then…?”

“Of course you are, what kind of question is that?” Splinter hugged him more strongly. “I am the one that was not enough, not that night. Please forgive my foolishness.”

“You chose a virtual stranger over us,” Donatello muttered softly, but something in his expression was more open. Pained, distressed, sad, angry, Splinter felt something close to relief upon seeing so many emotions in the face of the son that had kept his distance and apathy for so long.

“She was no stranger to me... I— I failed her as well, so many years ago. If I had been stronger… the Shredder may not have taken her that night.” Memories of the cries of an infant, the furious heat of the fire, the smell of burned wood as the house, his once home, collapsed all around him, burying everyone he had loved in the ashes.

Splinter shivered and sobbed once more, unable to reel in the emotion once it was freed from containment. “And if I had been stronger— if I had been better none of you would have been injured as you were in our last mission. I accompanied you to ensure your safety and success, and I failed at both things. You ended up taking care of me… Donatello, I’m so sorry this responsibility was placed on your shoulders, tending to my injury and the ones of your brothers, running the tests for Miwa…”

He extended a single arm, a silent invitation. Donatello seemed slightly uncomfortable, glancing at his standing brothers.

Michelangelo smiled encouragingly, and Raphael gave him a light shove in his direction. Donatello sighed but still kneeled down to take a hold of his wrist in a firm grip, otherwise letting his weight rest on Leonardo’s back. Not joining the hug, but still in reaching distance.

“It wasn’t… Leo was the worst off, we only had scratches. And I— I’m the only one that knows how to run the med equipment anyway.” Donatello shrugged, looking somewhere above Splinter’s shoulder. “I’d have to run the tests even if things had been different.”

Splinter closed his eyes and nodded, shaking his head when he felt his own tears running down. They felt uncomfortable, unfamiliar over his fur. 

“That… that shouldn’t have to be the case. I— if you could teach me… I should have learned a long time ago…”

Donatello blinked owlishly at him, seemingly taken aback, but nodded once after a short pause.

“I, uh, I guess… I could, yeah.”

Splinter smiled through the tears. A small smile, shaky, he couldn’t keep his body from shaking now that the blooming emotion he had kept contained for days was released, but it was a sincere one. 

“Thank you,” Splinter nuzzled at the top of Leonardo’s head, and squeezed Donatello's forearm exactly once, mindful of the pressure. 

His tallest required… special attention when it came to physical gestures, the books talked about how some individuals could be experiencing hyper or hyposensitivity of touch. His turtle was in the former group, and there was nothing wrong with that. Splinter just had to adapt his approach.

A long time passed like this as no more words were exchanged. Donatello squeezed his wrist softly, probably unconsciously since the action was in rhythm with Splinter’s shaky breaths, and Leonardo’s discreet sobs at his chest slowly grew softer as his oldest returned the embrace, strong arms holding Splinter’s torso quite firmly. Leonardo was mindful of his recovering shoulder, kindly so.

Raphael seemed less tense now that they were here addressing these topics, with Michelangelo hugging his shoulders, giving him a light headbutt from time to time, which was reciprocated in kind.

The atmosphere was so soft, so warm. This was the first time since their fallout that Splinter felt his family’s warmth, like he was part of them and not an outsider.

“Leonardo?” Splinter called softly, once he recovered his inner peace.

“Yeah?”

“Sometimes you remind me of… well, myself, when I was younger,” Splinter chuckled sadly, letting go of Donatello so he could push Leonardo’s shoulders, having enough space between them to make his son look up at him. 

His turtle seemed concerned now. Splinter gave him a sad, knowing nod.

“But I have been reading and… I wanted to tell you…” Something he should have realized a long, long time ago, but hadn’t. Something he wished he had known as a young adult, before knowing Shen, before forming his own family, before everything .

“Leonardo, allow yourself to discover what your path looks like and take ownership of it. Become your own person, and not a reflection of me.”

Leonardo should follow his own path, in the same way Splinter should have discovered his own, instead of trailing behind the steps of his own father.

“It is not your duty to comply with expectations, or conform to someone's idea of how you should be,” Splinter admitted to his tearful oldest, while looking up meaningfully at his youngest, whose look of surprise and tearfulness made him so much alike, yet so unique, when compared to his brothers’ reaction.

“Michelangelo, there is nothing wrong with being yourself. You came to this world with your own purpose, dreams, and passions, to write your own story,” Splinter smiled softly with an inviting gesture, the feeling of warmth and relief flooding his heart as his youngest sobbed and knelt down to hug him, taking Leonardo’s previous place.

“I will be thankful if I am permitted to witness your stories,” Splinter admitted as he nuzzled at his youngest’s shoulder, taking in a deep breath before forcing himself to face the duo that was the most hurt by both, his actions and inactions.

“You are not my students within the Hamato clan. You are not my project ,” he said directly to Donatello, who’s face shifted as if he was raising both eyebrows in shocked incredulity. “You are my family, my sons, and you are not here to fulfill the dreams that I couldn't live, or to correct my mistakes. I’m sorry for the burden I have placed on you, sorry you had to meet the needs that I should have tended to.”

He glanced at Leonardo, who was nodding in understanding at his own lap. Good, the words have been meant for him as well.

And then, at long last, he finally faced Raphael. The most temperamental of his sons, always so angry and defensive. Sometimes on his own behalf, quite like Oroku Saki once was in his childhood…

“Shut up Leo, you fucking deserve one, you know you do!” 

But more often than not, on his brother’s behalf, just like Hamato Yoshi should have been, if he had possessed half of the bravery his son had. If Yoshi had been able to confront his father, the leader of the Hamato clan… perhaps if he hadn’t been so silent, Saki would never have turned into the Shredder…

“I’m sorry for how I have treated you, Raphael.” I’m sorry I have been comparing you with my once brother, comparing you to my worst enemy, unconsciously as it may have been. His son had not deserved such a comparison, not once. Raphael loved too much, he cared too deeply to ever be capable of becoming someone so cold and cruel.

“I wished I had been more like you in my youth,” Splinter admitted, which made his son choke on thin air. 

Raphael was looking at him like Splinter had gone insane. “What…?”

“I wished I were more like you when I was your age,” Splinter repeated with a weak huff, a sad attempt at a chuckle. “I wished I had been bolder, more honest, more direct… and braver to protect those I loved from receiving the harsh treatment my father bestowed upon them.”

Braver to speak up against the way his father had treated Shen. His reaction to Miwa. The treatment Saki… and so many countless others had endured for so many years. The Hamato clan had always been harsh for both, enemies and allies alike, if albeit in different ways.

Raphael stared at him; tense, speechless, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Donatello seemed to have been caught off guard, like this conversation had deviated so much from what he had first expected that he was now at loss on how to react.

Michelangelo looked so proud of him, and Leonardo so relieved, like Splinter had finally taken a weight off their shoulders. 

Splinter was being honest, he was… he was working hard on improving his communication and being direct, vulnerable. The books had all encouraged this, stated in different ways, at different lessons, but in the end, the underlying message was this.

In the end, what he was trying to say was this: “My sons, I did the best I could with the knowledge I had, and I know that is not enough .” 

With ears pressed against his skull, he let go of his youngest so he could shuffle back, so he could have enough space to give a deep bow at his dear family. 

“I know that things could have been better if I had acknowledged my opportunity areas earlier. There is nothing I can do to change the past... you have wounds to heal, for some of which I am the cause, and I am very sorry for the role I played in inflicting them. I am sorry.

“I am sorry, and…” he straightened to sit once more, giving his sons a small, sad attempt at a smile. “I am thankful.”

A glance at Raphael. “Thank you for speaking up when your brothers could not, for making me realize things I should have noticed by myself, but did not. For protecting them where I failed them.”

A glance at Donatello. “Thank you for providing the materials and knowledge I lacked to make life in the sewers one that could be considered comfortable. Without you we would not have access to clean water, a kitchen, entertainment devices… nor the healthcare supplies. We would not have survived long without you.”

A glance at Michelangelo. “Thank you for providing warmth and love where I remained— where I presented an unapproachable figure.” He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. This was becoming harder and harder to admit, but he couldn’t stop now, not now. “Thank you… for keeping your gentle and playful spirit, for holding onto your compassion and creativity.” Where I lost my own, so many years ago, before he had even married Shen…

And at last, a glance at Leonardo. “Thank you for looking after your brothers to the best of your ability, even when you should never have had to. For being there every time I— I was absent in mind, lost in memories long past. For being reliable, in a way I could not be. For… everything I cannot voice.”

He was running out of words. He was accustomed to speaking in a polite, indirect manner, but now he was forcing himself to bare his thoughts raw, to bare all his wrongdoings raw for his sons to judge, it was taking everything in him to continue speaking.

He could not— not anymore. He couldn’t say more than this, didn’t have the strength to.

“...that is all I can say right now,” Splinter admitted at last, rubbing his face with the sleeves of his robes in order to escape from the weight of the stares enacting judgment on him. His body tensed up on its own accord, expecting his father’s cane as response to his tears.

“That’s enough dad,” Michelangelo reassured softly, a single hand resting on his uninjured shoulder, and something deep in his subconscious relaxed at being met with kindness.

“More than enough,” Leonardo added, shuffling closer to him but not reaching out. “Thank you dad.”

“...this, uh, was a good talk, I guess,” Donatello added unsurely from his place at the back, still processing things.

Raphael remained silent for a short moment, the only one of his brothers that had not moved from his original position.

At least, not until now.

After careful consideration, Raphael stepped forward and knelt down at Michelangelo’s side, looking at him as if studying him… as if searching for something…

“That,” Raphael said at last, a closed fist resting softly on Splinter’s chest, right above his heart. “That was more than I ever expected to hear from you, to be honest. So… yeah. Thanks. You know, for— you know. ”

Raphael shrugged, emerald eyes turning to look at the wall. 

“I know,” Splinter reassured softly, lifting a hand to tap at Raphael’s knuckles twice. “Thank you, my son.”

“Hmm, yeah.”

For a long moment, silence reigned unperturbed in the enclosed room. It was the first time ever since their fallout that Splinter didn’t feel uncomfortable in it. His sons were now all close to him, he could extend his arms and be able to reach them. It was a step in the right direction.

“So,” Splinter said at long last, trying to keep the light atmosphere. “Would anyone care to enlighten me on what I can expect from our turtle guests?”

The chorus of groans that Leonardo and Donatello gave in unison was unexpected. Even Michelangelo looked like he had sucked a lemon.

But Raphael had just snorted, so whatever the current situation, it probably was not too bad.

(x)

(x)

(x)

Raph was… well, a bit more distracted than usual, but on the instances where he could focus on what was happening around him, it was apparent that his seven little brothers weren’t, uh, getting along as well as he had thought they would.

They were sleeping again now — where had the rest of the day gone? — and looking around, he could see that their counterparts were missing from their turtle pile again.

He didn’t know what was going wrong though. They all were so similar to each other, just like Raph and Rafa were. What was there not to like about themselves? 

It’s the adjustment period Raph, just give them time, Mind Raph reassured distractedly. Raph could picture him rearranging things still, like a fuzzy Dee back when Leon had moved everything in the TV room two inches to the left. 

Raph had kinda hoped his gatekeeper would be done fixing up things sooner than this. It was taking so long, he wanted things to get back to normal already.

Raph inwardly sighed. I want everyone to get along…

In due time, Mind Raph snapped, less patiently than usual, and Raph squirmed guiltily in place. The ageless alter had probably heard him complaining.

Mind Raph sighed tiredly, before speaking in a much softer tone. If you wanna help them, you can smooth over the edges where you can. Just be yourself Raph. It’ll be fine.

Raph could help? Raph wanted to, certainly. He wanted them to sleep together and play together and eat together and have fun, tots have fun, all seven brothers— 

No, wait, something felt foreign. He was… he was Raph? Yeah, Raph, who else could push that thought forward? Puffs wasn’t one to relax.

Ah, I had just fixed that corner— Mind Raph groaned before sighing tiredly. No, no, nevermind, I know you’re not doing it on purpose. I’ll just rearrange it again.

Raph whined and pressed his nose further against a smaller plastron, whose owner muttered something soft and rubbed the top of his head soothingly. 

Raph didn’t mean to cause Mind Raph trouble, it wasn’t on purpose… if he could go out of his own body to let Mind Raph work in peace he would. If he could give each alter their own body… like he accidentally had when the Krang had been attacking them?

If Raph could do that on purpose, then Mind Raph maybe could work in peace? He would be able to fix everything in their headspace faster, and also help smooth over everyone’s feathers! They would be so happy together, one big happy family, big turtle pile, so big, so warm and comfy with tots and brothers and fluffy papa furr— 

The risks of dividing our consciousness are too many, Puffs interrupted firmly.

The excitement dulled down, and Raph tried to shake off whatever was trying to infiltrate his line of thought. It felt oddly childish, so unfamiliarly familiar it was weird. Maybe a side effect of his gatekeeper still trying to restore everything as it used to be? It didn’t feel anything like Savage, and Puffs was not intermingling considering he still could hear him as a separate voice.

But what risks was he talking about, honestly? Raph could try to give Mind Raph his own body, if his ageless alter was out there then he would help everybody— 

Raph, hey, focus on me? Mind Raph called softly. I’m right where I need to be buddy, we are ok just like this. You just need to be more patient.

A foreign spike of frustration made Raph whine out loud like a child, squeezing something warm closer to his chest as he curled on himself, and he could idly hear the sounds of his brothers, their presence as they pressed more firmly against him, trying to soothe him.

But you are so much smarter and kinder than me, you could help them more than I can.

No Raphie, I'm not made to front. Mind Raph spoke like a parent that was denying their toddler their request to have candy for dinner. I'm here for you, for our system, for our family, but not to... I wouldn't do anybody any good out there.

Raph felt like huffing and pouting —  and maybe that was exactly what he was doing, he was too busy in his headspace to notice the things happening in the real world right now. His pops’ voice, his brothers’ calling. 

You've never fronted Mind Raph, you just need to try! Everyone would love to meet you.

Mind Raph stayed silent, neither agreeing nor denying Raph's statement.

You have fronted, Puffs accused with a semblance of disbelief. When? Why don't I remember?

It’s my memory, not yours. Why would you remember? Mind Raph chided lightly, almost defensively.

Raph frowned, confused. Mind Raph fronted? When?

Let’s not talk about this. The point is, Raph, that I’m ok here. Oh, and you should answer them, they look worried!

Who was worried?

“ — Raph? Hey, can you listen to me?” Angelo was cradling his face, patting his cheeks lightly as he tried to make Raph focus.

Raph blinked drowsily. “Mh, Mike?”

“Yeah! Hi there,” Angelo smiled, voice still nothing but a soft whisper. “You back with us?”

“Do you know where you are?” Dee asked, typing at something on the pad of his forearm as the cold, metallic thing attached to Raph returned to the battle shell. He must have been running some sort of test?

“Yeah, we’re with— with, uh, the lair of…” Our tot-shaped brothers, our counterparts, my brothers, the rest of our family, smaller brothers, warm-nice-tots.

The voices interlaced and spoke at the same time, all over the place, the statements all ringing as true. He was no one. He was everyone. Who…?

“That’s fine Raph-a-doodle,” Leon reassured, patting his shoulder. “Just focus on coming back to the land of the living, yeah?”

“Uh-huh…” Raph hugged the warmth in his arms closer still.

“It’s ok Red,” pops spoke, voice oddly muffled, and only then did Raph notice he was squeezing the rat mutant against his chest so strongly his poor dad looked more like a weasel than a rat right now.

“S-sorry pops,” he relaxed his iron grip, and Splinter took in a deep breath, but made no movement to get away as he just. Deflated breathlessly, totally spent. Oh no…

“I can live without oxygen,” pops reassured with a pant, still trying to get used to functioning lungs again.

“For up to six minutes, after that you die,” Dee added, giving dad a single nod and a thumbs up. “You were trapped for three, so you’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“Thanks Purple,” pops wheezed and returned a shaky thumbs up.

“What happened?” Raph was confused. His mind was in scrambles, he was a mess, they were a mess, what day was this?

“You were whining and wriggling in your sleep, probably a bad night-night,” Leon explained, using the same childish term Raph had used when they were tots to refer to nightmares. 

“Or intrusive thoughts?” Angelo guessed with a sharp eye. “Wanna talk about it? If we can help… we’re here for you, Raph.” 

Angelo bumped their foreheads together, and Raph sighed and closed his eyes, trying to clear up his head, trying to remember what he had been thinking about…

“...I want everybody to get along,” Raph admitted softly after a long pause of silence.

Angelo squeaked in surprise and glanced up at Leon, which in turn glanced at Dee, who frowned and muttered something under his breath as he focused even more on whatever was in his wrist-tech's screen.

“We get along just fiiine,” Leon made a hand gesture while looking at the curtain that led outside of Raph’s room, out to the lair, to their counterparts. “I mean, Mikey is a little gremlin, I’m pretty sure we can work together to prank the boring Leo.”

The smile turned into a giddy smirk, as no doubt a handful of plans came up in his mind to be either accepted or discarded in the span of just seconds. The speed in which Leon came up with ideas was sometimes scary.

“Rafa is a menace, pretty sure we can drive someone to tears just by talking with them,” Dee gave a dark grin of amusement. “I really wanna face the Purple Dragons with him now.”

Raph chuckled, because that much sass and sarcasm put together would make someone cry, indeed. And they were all teens, which made it seem like a fair game in his head.

“Leo is a lot like you,” Angelo pointed out with a small, warm smile. “Even when they’re all the same age, I get the feeling he’s the oldest.”

“They are nice kids,” pops said softly with a pat at Raph’s plastron, and something inside of him relaxed at how honest he sounded. “They all come to pay us a visit at their own time, trying to help in their own way.”

Paying a visit… since Raph had been on mandated rest he hadn’t been able to move much, and his brothers had stuck by his side for the most part. Pops had taken the cooking upon himself, so he spent a lot of time with Mikey in the kitchen. Raph had felt a bit guilty for not helping out with the everyday chores, he hadn’t left the room much these days…

Out of all of them, Leon was the one that moved around the most. He had helped April and Donnie with a portal back to her home so she could pick the stuff she needed to stay here more comfortably. The slider also went out from time to time either to retrieve pops — the rat mutant liked to watch TV with Leo sometimes, from what Raph had heard —  or to test the waters with their counterparts. 

Last time, Raph had heard the incensed cursing of Rafa accompanied by Mikey’s giggles, the sounds of rapid feet as they chased each other, and the surprised gasps of the same-species turtles as Leon created portals to turn their playful chase into a sequence worthy of a Scooby Doo episode. It had been funny to watch, especially once Rafa and Mikey made an alliance and turned against Leon instead, which also made Angelo jump into the fray so it would be two against two. It was the closest Angelo had ever gotten to playing with Mikey, and Raph had been hopeful they would get along as a result, but…

But during the play they had talked about something. They had been too far away for Raph to hear, but Mikey had immediately stopped playing after that short conversation, going back to his room much too silently. Rafa had chased after his little brother with a worried and confused look, so the game was over as soon as it had started.

“Uhh, what was that about?” Leon had quirked an eyebrow questioningly, but ultimately Angelo had just shrugged, looking mildly confused as well.

“Dunno why he reacted like that…”

Whatever had happened, Rafa was a bit more cautious around Angelo as a result. Raph hadn’t really had the chance to talk with any of them about it yet.

Dee had stayed glued at Raph’s side for the longest time, slowly getting to move and eat more, which was a relief for everybody. In the end Dee had just gone out of the room once so far, when the Leos started to bicker about the food reserves and it became apparent they needed Dee to help make something similar to their usual nutritional bars if they wanted the food to last longer. The softshell had the formula, and could design the proper machines with his ninpo if need be.

It was the first and only time he had stepped away, going to the lab to work alongside Donnie.

He had come back five minutes after first stepping out, picked up Angelo, and carried him out of the room because “he needed a Conscience or else he was going to fucking snap.” Leon had known better than to appoint himself as Conscience — or at least he did after receiving a long, ‘oh no you don’t’ stare from Raph — and had let them go with nothing but a long-drawn sigh.

Raph wasn’t worried though. Angelo was very good at diffusing the situation whenever the Leos discussed in hearing-distance, from what little snippets he could remember. He wasn’t… the best at paying attention these days, but Angelo was here, so it should be fine. The Donnies would be fine with him around.

They had been fine with him around. Dee had come back mildly annoyed but fine, Angelo was the sweet kid he always was, and Donnie didn’t seem to mind them much as he presented the resulting bars a few days after. The results weren’t as good as their usual bars — Raph didn’t feel full even when he doubled the usual amount — but it was the best result with what Donnie had available, and it was enough.

“If anything they could visit less,” Leon muttered in his palm, and Raph grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him towards him.

“That’s exactly what I mean!” Raph complained as he crushed his brother, who was wheezing and squirming exaggeratedly under his arm. “What’s wrong!?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Angelo interjected, pushing up the glasses— oh shit, Dr. Feelings.

“But Mike—”

“No buts, Raph,” Angelo poked his nose once, and Raph looked at the offending finger with a crossed stare. “Listen, we are ourselves, they are themselves, sometimes there’s compatibility and everyone gets along from the get-go like you did, other times it takes more time, and— eh, other times it just… doesn’t work at all. And that’s ok. Not everyone’s gotta like us, yeah?”

“But we’re family,” Raph whined sadly. “Maybe we just— just need more time? Raph had some hiccups along the way too, but it all worked out in the end…”

He lowered his chin on the floor and sighed, ignoring the way in which his brothers exchanged a glance.

“Oh yeah?” Leon said nonchalantly, wiggling to try to escape from Raph’s grasp, which of course just made the snapper strengthen his grip. “How long did it take for you then?”

“For me?” Raph didn’t understand why that would be important. “No, that doesn’t matter. It’s in the past anyway—”

“Predictions are drawn based on historical data,” Dee pipped in, a single metallic arm patting Raph’s head as if to hammer that fact into his brain.

“Yeah, it could help us understand how things can get better,” Angelo smiled brightly.

“That is enough, kids,” pops spoke before Raph could, slightly reprimanding. “Red needs rest, do not nag him.”

“It’s an innocent question,” Leon defended, which earned him a single-eyed stare from dad.

“I know what you are trying to do. Let it rest,” Splinter insisted, karate-chopping Leon at the head once — is this any way to treat your sons!? — before making a shooing motion at the standing turtles so he could take Angelo’s place in front of Raph. “Red, look at me?”

“Yeah?” Raph was confused. He didn’t understand why pops interfered, what was Leon trying to do? What was wrong with that question?

“Red,” pops repeated, placing a single hand at the top of his head. “We are family. We may not understand each other all the time, or ‘get along’ all the time, but that does not mean we are not there for each other where it counts. We have just known each other for a few days, but we will help them where we can, and I’m sure they will help us too.”

“THE FUCK YOU MEAN LEAVE HIM BEHIND!” Rafa’s incensed shout came unbidden to Raph’s mind, and he shook his head, trying to move past it. 

“...Red?” Splinter called again, a single clawed finger tapping his forehead.

“Sorry, I don’t know why— why Raph’s mind wanders so much these days…”

His pops smiled understandingly, unjudging, and a little piece of Raph that needed the reassurance sighed in relief.

“That is fine. Can you listen to me a bit more?”

“Yeah,” Raph nodded, freeing Leon in favor of reaching out to pops, who accepted his renewed imprisonment without resistance.

“Red, it has only been a few days. Things will continue to change. You just need to live and be present to witness that change. Within your capabilities, just try to be present?”

Present in mind, present physically?

“Both,” Pops scratched under his chin, and Raph churred and relaxed further.

“Mind Raph is— is sorting things out, but I’ll try,” Raph nodded once. “And— and I can move now, right? My shell doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Raph waved his tail testingly. Moving it from the base had been painful in the past days, but now it didn’t feel sore anymore.

“The crushed scutes seem to have healed fully, yes,” Dee confirmed. “Just be careful and don’t get another impact in that area for a while longer. Right Lee?”

“Yeah, you should probably skip the next prank war.”

“Prank war?” Raph narrowed his eyes, looking at the suddenly too-innocent-looking twins. Even Angelo seemed too much like an angel right now. 

“We’re not making a prank war here,” Raph mandated immediately.

“Oh come on! Why not?” Leon asked but continued without a pause for anyone to answer. “Listen, there’s nothing better to crack the ice than a prank war. We all have tons of fun with them! Right dad?”

“...I don’t think we have anything like Purple’s lair-repairing robots here, Blue,” pops shook his head negatively, and Leon huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Ok, don’t mind the party pooper, pretty sure we can get something like that functioning here too, right Dee?”

“Eeehhh,” Dee made a grimace and a so-so gesture. “This lab doesn’t have much in terms of tech from what I’ve got to see, so probably no.”

“Ok, fine, we can have a prank war without the blowing up stuff. Like, it should be cool if it launches them across the room so long it doesn’t destroy the wall—”

Raph shook his head. “No, they’re not as resistant as us—”   

“Would you guys let me SHINE!?” Leon fell to his knees dramatically.

“Hey, that’s my phrase,” Dee complained, a piece of paper coming out from his battle shell to smack Leon in the face. “It’s trademarked.”

“Wow, love you too, Dee.”

“You can’t always win Blue,” pops deadpanned, with the face he used in the Lair Games whenever Leon was being too much of a drama queen, and Raph’s figurative lightbulb turned on.

“The Lair Games!” he exclaimed excitedly, tail wagging behind him. “We were already organizing one tournament before— ehm. That whole mess happened. And— and it should be safer for everybody, so we don’t destroy the lair while still having fun.”

“That sounds better,” pops agreed.

“Hmm, ok, yeah, so long we get to design at least one game ,” Leon smirked, grabbing Dee by the shoulders and shaking him.

“Unhand me now or suffer the consequences.” The projection of something that had a barrel appeared with its end pointing at the offending twin.

“Can we dance!? We can totally dance, baby!” Angelo propelled himself up using Leon’s shell, which sent the slider crashing to the floor while the box turtle spinned in the air, doing an Elvis pose, what!?

“Pffft,” Raph laughed at the combination of Leon’s disgruntledness, a giddily hissy Dee, and Angelo’s maneuvers, which were becoming more and more complex and ridiculous the longer he jumped around. 

Raph had missed them so much. He should listen to pops and Mind Raph and just let things run their course, time would help them settle down and get along. And now that Raph could move, they could plan for the Lair Games! 

His brothers will get along better, all seven of them!