Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The street lights illuminate the fog around the small office in London. Besides one of the newly lit lights is an office that reads “The Star Chronicle”. It was established by the Black family a generation or two back. Regulus Black could probably tell you the entire history of the damn institution. Not that it mattered anyway, but he could probably give you a synopsis of the entire Greek tragedy that was his life. 

Sirius, his elder brother, had shaken his head when he had brought this to his attention. “You’d be surprised what people are into these days. Sometimes we all just need a good cry.” 

“Yes, but that would require an ending that would be cathartic,” Regulus had said with the tone he had broken into him by a mother’s stern glare, “We want an ending to restore our faith in humanity. Not break it.”

“Well, there are folks that watch documentaries?” Sirius had suggested. Regulus scoffed.

Regulus looks up on the clock on his office wall. It was a black one with constellations that Pandora had gotten for him when he had taken this job fresh out of college. I had more life then…

He flicks tumbs through a black beaten up journal. His brother had gotten it for him last Christmas, but he may as well have gotten it five years ago. That little journal had seen him through everything. Its pages were curling, black cover ripped at the edges. Then there were the words written in black ink, some haphazardly crossed out. He clicks the pen to attention and begins his meditations to no one in particular. Sometimes these words would find their way into his advice column, but more often than not they would be left to rot in an overused journal buried at the bottom of Regulus’s bag.

I have found, almost everything written about love to be true.

Shakespeare said - journeys end in lovers meeting. Oh, what an extraordinary thought. 

Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I’m more than willing to believe that Shakespeare had. 

I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I’m constantly amazed by it’s sheer power to alter and define our lives. 

It was Shakespeare who also said that love is blind. 

Now that is something I know to be true.

For some, quite inexplicably, love fades.

For others, love is simply lost. 

But then of course, love can also be found even if just for the night. 

And then there’s another kind of love - the cruelest kind - the one that almost kills it’s victims. It’s called unrequited love. 

Of that - I am an expert. 

Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? 

What about our stories? 

Those of us who fall in love alone. 

We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. 

We are the un-loved ones. 

The walking wounded. 

The handicapped without the advantage of a good parking space.

The Star Chronicle’s Christmas party was the biggest event of the year for the paper. Discluding the donor ball that is. It was the one event he attended he was sure wouldn’t make his mother roll in her grave. To be fair - he was pretty sure both his and his brother’s existence would do that at this point. They were walking disappointments.

While Sirius wore that badge with pride, as he had always done, Regulus found himself curling back into himself. He found himself hiding behind his brother’s shadow not out of envy, but out of hope that no one would take notice of him. Then someone had seen him, or so he thought. It absolutely ruined his life.

Regulus continues to narrate to himself as he weaves his way through other party-goers, making note of phrases to write down later.

Yes, you are looking at one such individual - and I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years. 

The absolute worst years of my life - the worst Christmases, worst birthdays. New Year's Eves brought in by tears and valium. 

These years that I’ve been in love have been the worst years of my life. 

All because I have been cursed by being in love with a man who does not, and will not love me back. 

Oh god, the sight of him. 

Heart pounding - throat thickening. 

Absolutely can’t swallow - all the usual symptoms. 

“Oh god, what’s wrong?” Sirius asks as Regulus swipes his drink. Regulus gives him a once over. If there was something that could be noted as one of the things Sirius was good at, it would be he knew how to clean up well for an event. His raven hair was tied up in a stylized loose bun and a suit that he was sure must have been tailored in the best store in London. With his hair tied back like this, it was hard not to pick out the features of his brother mirrored in his own face. It was always a bittersweet feeling to notice. It was interesting how someone who looked like they had been cut from the same clone had much more faith in the universe than he had. Sirius always had more to give. He was easy to love…Regulus on the other hand - well, he was bruised from it and not the way his brother seemed to be.

Regulus sighs, noticing the yellowing bruise on his brother's neck. Must’ve been from the night out a week ago, the one where Regulus had been house sitting. He couldn’t claim to mind though - the house had good company.

“Another one?” Regulus asks, raising an sincerely unamused eyebrow. Sirius follows his gaze to his neck and rolls his eyes.

“Piss off, like you can talk.” Despite his seemingly unbothered protests, Regulus watches as Sirus’s fingers make quick work of a button on his shirt to better hide the small mark. 

It was a black tie affair, one that the two had grown accustomed too with their background. Despite all their rigorous training on what to do, what to say and how much to be seen, Regulus will readily admit that he practically begged his brother to be there. Being one of the principal donors to keeping the magazine running, it was the perfect cover. He was sure it wasn’t a shock to his boss, Mr. Slughorn, that his brother had appeared. 

However, both Regulus and Siruis both knew exactly what his brother was doing here. He was Regulus’s human shield from the world around him, like he had been so many times before. Like he always had been for him. It twinged at something in Regulus’s gut and made his heart sink. He shouldn’t be here. He doesn’t need his protection anymore. He knows he should step out of the nest on his own, but he couldn’t. Not yet. Not when he had longed for this protection for so long.

“Anyways, enough about my love life that we know isn’t ever going anywhere. Let's talk about yours.” Sirius says with a small smirk, the one that used to spell mischief in their childhood. “I do want to know why you chugged my champagne glass that I worked awful hard to obtain.”

“Ah yes, a passing waiter. So difficult.” Regulus mutters, but looks back out towards the person that had claimed, swallowed and properly vomited back up his heart. Then the process would repeat every once in a while with a new email, a text and an occasional brush in the hall... Regulus was starting to wonder if he was addicted to the burn at this point. A sucker for punishment - or someone whose hope could never be crushed. Forever an optimist - and forever fated to be let down. Sirius would absolutely strangle him if he knew about everything. They shared so much, but he had left. He wouldn’t understand. He never fully did.

“Ah, Barty still? I thought you two broke up?” Sirius asks, following Regulus’s glance.

“Oh yeah, that’s over. Very over.” Regulus grabs another champagne from a waiter passing by. Sirius does as well and tries to subtly eye the man across the room. Subtleness came to Sirius like a fish to land - Regulus was glad Barty wasn’t looking over their way.

“What’s the story between you two anyway? First I was hearing about him every day and then, almost as quickly, he dropped off the face of the planet. You were shagging him weren’t you?” Regulus rolls his eyes 

“I was in love with him, truth be known.” He shoves Sirius slightly and tries to keep his eyes away from where Barty was mingling with a few of his associates. 

“Oh- yes, yes, now I remember. Then you found out he was shagging that bloke from the circulation department.”

“Yes, which is why I stopped shagging him - maybe we shouldn’t talk about this here.” Regulus gestures with his open hand to the party going on around them.

“But I still see all those pictures of you two together. So he cheats on you, but you stayed friends.” Sirius scoffs slightly and Regulus takes a prolonged gulp of his champagne. Oh..so he did know…

“Look, I was head over heels. Everyone knew that…”

“But did he ever say it back?” Sirius asks knowingly. Since when did mister ‘new person every night’ become a love expert?

“Yes! Three or four times.” Regulus responds defensively. 

“And he denied ever saying it, I suppose?” 

“Said it must’ve been an answer to a question - which, by the way it absolutely was not."

“You know, I hate to be that kind of person, and I’m not telling you how you should live your life. However, when a bloke cheats on you… Well you know what I’d do. I'd kick him in the family jewels and tell him to go fuck himself. You don’t stay friends with him.” Sirius scoffs in disgust and takes another sip of his champagne.

“I know - of course I do. But I feel like I can’t get away from him every time I’m in the office - or in that little place in Covet Garden…Every time I look around my office...Fuck, does it look like I’m crying right now?” Regulus starts to get choked up and covers his face. He tries to walk away, but Sirius puts a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Shit, sorry. I know I shouldn’t have pushed. You invited me here in order for this not to happen. Look - I’m gonna grab some snacks, okay? Food makes everything better.” Regulus takes a deep breath before nodding quickly.

“Alright.” Regulus swallows hard and Sirius squeezes his shoulder once more before walking over to the red and gold tablecloth that held the various desserts. Leave it to Sirius to make a break for the sweetest thing they had on the menu. Regulus doesn’t have time to dwell on this for too long when his attention is next called to the front of the room. His boss begins by making his annual Christmas announcements.

“First of all, a Happy Christmas to each and every one of you.” Everyone echoes their merry christmases back and Regulus smiles to himself. 

Christmas hadn’t been a happy time of year for either himself or Sirius until they scraped together enough cash to buy a small cottage in a small town in the middle of nowhere. After living in London their whole lives, they found themselves wanting anything but the incredible noise of the city. After the hell they went through with their family, it was the least they could do for themselves. When their uncle died and left everything to Sirius, quickly followed by their parents, who had left everything to Regulus, money had no longer become an issue for the two of them. They didn’t need the cottage, but they wanted it. Somewhere small without some natural lighting - Sirius always had a thing for that. Somewhere that both of them could live their lives in peace.

Sirius, due to some changes in circumstance, had moved out around two years ago, but his brother still lived in the same town and kept in close contact. He knew his mother would be rolling in her grave if she realized how close the brothers had become - and how much they had truly stayed in contact once Sirius left university. He hadn’t let Regulus leave his graduation until he had his number.

“Now we’re not officially closed, as you very well know, but we are going to try to get by this week with a smaller than normal staff,” Slughorn continues and a few people cheer. Regulus smiles to himself, knowing he wasn’t on the list of staff to work this week, and would have more time to spend at his brother’s. “But before some of you rush off on holiday, I do have two special announcements. The first isn’t an announcement at all, but I would like to welcome Mr. Sirius Black to our annual Christmas party. We are always welcome to host someone who has made such generous donations to our profession.”

“Always a pleasure sir,” Sirius responds with his signature smile, walking over to Regulus with an assortment of Christmas cookies. 

“The second being -  well also rather important I suppose. Now this affects Regulus...Where is he?" Regulus waves and Slughorn nods. “Ah yes, I have a suggestion for an assignment for you after the holidays.” 

"Excellent.” Regulus calls with a grin.

“Your next topic may be on marriage and how to better build one from two people within our own office.”

“Oh, brilliant!” He hears Sirius chuckle under his breath, knowing their experience with marriage was limited to their recently deceased cousins, and Sirius’s college roommates parents. The latter of whom Regulus had never actually met. Sirius had said he wanted to change that one of these years, but they had been so busy recently.

“May I introduce the newly engaged Evan Rosier and Barty Crouch Jr!” Sirius’s gaze snaps to him. He can see more than hear over the cheers, a “Bloody hell,” escape his lips. Regulus’s eyes next fall on Pandora Rosier, Evan’s cousin who also happened to be Regulus’s only other ally within the chronicle. She was reacting in surprise as well. They must have really kept a low profile with this one if even Evan’s own cousin didn’t know about it, huh? The newly minted finances both jump up next to Slughorn. Barty starts talking, but Regulus can’t hear it. He’s recentered by Sirius placing his hand on his shoulder. 

“Reggie, are you alright?” He asks softly. 

“I… Can you drive me home?” Regulus asks back just as softly.

“Course, do you want to come to mine? We can make hot chocolate and slip something stronger in there to forget all about this whole mess?” Regulus smiles sadly.

“Thanks, but I think I’d rather be alone right now.” He can see Sirius’s smile droop slightly at this, but he nods. He knew better than to prod when Regulus was in one of his moods.

“Alright… But I’m here for you, you know that right?” He asks, Regulus takes one last look up at him after he chugs his almost neglected champagne bottle. 

“You always have been. I wouldn’t expect that to end now.” His eyes light up and Regulus cracks a smile.

“Right, I’ll grab our coats. I’ll make up some excuse to your boss, probably about something happening at home that needs both our assistance, and then come right back. I promise.”

“I believe you.” Regulus smiles as Sirius passes him the cookies. He eats one and for a moment lets himself forget the shattered stuttering of his heart in his chest. 

***

Remus Lupin usually wished he had more space between him and his friends. He usually likes his alone time, spent hiding in the library in his house reading, or scribbling down some script ideas on his phone. Writing was a lonely career, and it suited Remus just fine. He had his friends. He never needed someone else. After all - why bother when all that happens is they inevitably decide they are not in love with him and leave anyways. He was used to that. People getting bored and moving on. He thought most people had the decency to do that. Apparently, his newly ex-boyfriend, Benjy Fenwick, wasn't one of those people.

It was James Potter who had rolled his eyes when Remus had complained about needing to get far away from their friends. He had reminded him with that knowing smile that he was the one who had moved next door after their period as roommates, not James, who had been living on this road since he got out of college. However, this was one of the rare cases where Remus was happy that his best friend was only a short walk away. He marches through the unlocked gate into his best friend's house, quickly looking around scanning for him. 

“JAMES!” He shouts and surprises himself at how angry the echo that returns to him is.

“Living room!” His friend calls back quickly. Remus enters and is surprised to see he has an audience. Lily Evans, Mary McDonald and Peter Pettigrew were all looking at him with concerned looks on their faces. “Everything okay, Remus?” James says, asking the question that seemed to be on everyone’s mind.

“Oh… yeah. Sorry, I didn’t know you had guests over.”

“Oh don’t mind us, we would also like to know what is going on here,” Mary says, taking a sip of what must’ve been the Potter-famous hot cocoa.

“Is the script not working for you?” Lily asks soothingly. Remus is instantly reminded of the time he skinned his knee as a kid. Lily’s kind voice after pouring some water on it, and gentle hug that had soothed his tears… 

Remus visibly tenses at the thought. He shakes his head with a clipped laugh at the question.

“No. It’s not that.”

“We can step into another room if it’s private,” James says, eyeing Mary sternly. 

“It’s fine,” He says to James before turning back to his childhood best friend, “Lils, I finished my script. It’s in your inbox.” She gives him a thumbs up and starts looking for her laptop. 

“Always on time. I don’t know how you do it, Lupin.” She says.

“Well, I’ve got some good beta readers.” She winks back at him and he cracks a smile.

“Is that why you came running in here? You seemed pretty upset,” Peter ventures carefully.

“Oh I am. I’m just repressing it.” James sighs heavily at this.

“Repressing what may I ask?” Mary asks with a small smile, tucking a curl behind her ear.

“Benjy and I broke up.”

“Oh?” Lily asks. He looks around the room and crosses his arms. 

“You all seem unsurprised.” Their gazes scatter around the room, all looking anywhere but him. Except for James. James, his longest friend, besides Lily of course. He was the one who gave him a spare key to his house to use just in case he needed him. James who stayed up with Remus on his worst nights. James who would join Remus on the floor in his living room listening to James’s scores and writing scenes aloud together. James who was absolutely about to rip him a new one.

“Well, I can’t say you two were exactly the most...compatible?” He says, as if wondering if that’s the right way to phrase it. Remus raises his eyebrows. “Remus, Moony , you know we love you. But… You’re you. You’re work oriented. You’re a homebody. You love your books and your solitude. You love privacy and Benjy well, he’s-“

“A slut,” Mary interrupts. 

“A massive slut,” Peter agrees and Lily snorts. 

“Oh don’t tell me you all knew about him sleeping with his secretary before I did.” Remus says, exasperated by how this morning had progressed so quickly into a shit show. How was it only noon? 

“He did what?!” James exclaims and Remus quickly pushes him back down in his seat before he can kill someone. 

“No. I just knew he had some wandering eyes,” Peter says in surprise. 

“Wandering eyes that loved to rest on other men's asses,” Mary mutters.

“And in them apparently,” Remus huffs, prompting a snort from Peter, who quickly tries to hide it. 

“Sorry,” He says meekly. 

“God - and then he had the audacity to say that the reason he couldn’t commit to me was because I didn’t care about him. He didn’t seem that upset when I asked him to keep his house originally, but oh now - now it’s an issue. Then, once I pried out the fact that he was sleeping with someone else for the past few months, he had the audacity to ask if I was happy about it?!” Peter hisses. James cracks his knuckles and begins to stand up again. Lily sends him a glare and he meekly sits back down. 

“He did not.” Mary says, appalled.

"I would like to remind you all that I wasn’t the one who stuck my dick in some random guy! Oh - and then he made it all about the fact I was the only person who breaks up with their boyfriend and doesn’t cry!” This puts grimaces on all his friends’ faces. 

“Oh, low blow there.” Pete says and Remus agrees. 

If there was one thing you didn’t talk about with Remus, it was that. He didn’t understand why that was so hard to comprehend. His parents had divorced out of nowhere when he was 13 and he hadn’t cried since. Was that so terrible? 

He knew James would say. Yes, not crying for thirteen years is an issue and it started a long list of the things Remus had repressed since childhood. The idea of true love had been one of them. His parents had destroyed that idea in one short day. James claimed that’s why he couldn’t get invested in someone. That he hadn’t met the person who would understand that part of him and love him anyways. Remus thought he wasn’t capable of that kind of love. He didn’t need it anyways. His writing was enough for him, but he mostly took inspiration from the love stories of the people around him. The ones he saw brew in the ice cream parlor James and him used to frequent when they had bad days. Those were the love stories he imagined. 

“You write the most beautiful stories, Remus Lupin,” Lily said one night when Remus had handed her another finished script for her to look at. “I don’t understand how you don’t call yourself a romantic.” Remus had shaken his head. 

“I don’t know if it’s ready yet. It doesn’t feel… I don’t know…it just doesn't feel right. It doesn’t feel… authentic yet. Is that the word?” Lily sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. “I… all my writing teachers in college told me to write what I know to make a story engaging to the audience…I can make it pretty. I can make it flowery. I can add kisses in the snow, almost confessions missed by half a beat, but when it comes to love… I’m not sure how to write something I have never felt.” 

Lily had smiled sympathetically. “One day, Remus Lupin, you’ll be able to write your own love story and when you do, it will be the most beautiful story in Hollywood.”

As the years went on, Remus was finding that harder and harder to believe. The list of heartbroken people he had left behind in Hollywood had given him a record as a kind of cassanova of sorts. Yet, Remus had left those days behind him with Benjy. That man had this fire - this spark that was fascinating to Remus. A spark that had once ignited around him. There was this magnetism that had drawn Remus towards him. He always thought that would balance them out. Benjy was the adventurous one, and Remus would ground him. But soon Benjy grew tired of getting brought down to earth and Remus stopped trying to get him back from the clouds. He hadn’t realized when he gave him the space he had been pushing for, that Benjy would cut the line. But who would? Just because you start to give your partner space, doesn’t mean they should start screwing other people. At least he could’ve had the common decency to break up with him first… 

“Know what you need?” James says and Lily looks at him as if he already knows what he’s going to say. “A vacation.” Lily and Mary snort in unison at the suggestion.

“Know what? Maybe I do.” Their eyes quickly snap to Remus.

“Are you serious?” Mary asks. Remus nods. 

“I need to get the hell out of here. I can’t count on one hand how many jokes James has made about me prematurely aging. I’ve been in this town for four years. I hopped a bus to L.A. straight out of college and - I love all of you desperately…but maybe it’s time.” James looks at him in shock.

"We need to have men break your heart more often, because that break is four years overdue,” Mary says and Remus rolls his eyes.

“Thanks, Mary.” 

“Anytime. Marlene would agree with me.”

“Of course she would.” Remus sighs heavily. “And Dorcas too, I’m sure." 

“Hey, I used a house exchange website last year, maybe that’ll be good? All of us have some sort of plans this week. James will be with his illusive girlfriend, Mary and Lils will be with each other. I’m going out of town after Christmas to visit family. I’ll be back before New Years, I hope. All of us will be busy, and that way you get the full experience of living there.” Peter suggests.

“That isn’t a horrible idea. My house is far too big for me anyway. What site did you use?” Remus asks, sitting next to Peter on the couch. Peter opens his laptop and soon they are house hunting. 

“Where do you want to go?” He asks.

“Somewhere far away from here.”

“Got a working passport?” James asks, passing him some hot cocoa. Remus thanks him before responding.

“Yes, but I would like somewhere where they speak English.” Remus admits. “I’m not that adventurous.”

“UK it is.” Peter answers and pulls up a map. “Oh my gosh - look at this cottage, isn’t it adorable? Apparently it was just put up an hour ago.” James leans over to look at Pete’s screen.

“Oh Remus, it has such a storybook look. You’ll get so much reading done there! And who knows, it could be good inspiration for that Valentine’s Day script.”

“Mhmm, watch some good romantic comedies. As much as I love this one so far, we’re not releasing a lost love story for Valentine’s Day,” Lils calls from her spot on the couch, where Remus can see her still scrolling through his last script. 

“Yes ma'am,” Remus rolls his eyes. "Though prepare to be disappointed. I’m not exactly looking for love this vacation.”

“That’s the best part though. That’s when it strikes.” James grins and Remus gives him a glare.

“Alright, here’s the chat so you can talk to the host.” Peter passes the computer to him. Remus takes a deep breath and nods. 

“Okay, I can do this. I can be friendly.” He mumbles to himself receiving a snicker from Peter and a raised eyebrow from James who is sipping on his own hot cocoa back in his chair. 

“I’m interested in renting your house. Is it still available?” He mumbles to himself before sending it.

“Straight to the point. I like it, Moony.” James grins.

“Oh fuck - I forgot to check if their there.” Remus quickly asks the house owner if they are online. 

“Maybe tell them when you’d like it till?” Peter suggests.

“How about right before the New Years? We’ll all be back in town and I’d like to spend it with you guys.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Mary says and Remus smiles. 

“I’m wondering if your house is available this Christmas, because if it is, you could be a real lifesaver.” Remus mumbles before sending.

“Alright,” Remus breathes out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding, "and now we wait.” 

Chapter Text

Small Key:

Regulus

Remus

~~~

Regulus can’t remember the last time he felt this miserable. Actually, he absolutely could. It was the last time he and Barty talked. Remind him why he was still in love with him again? 

“Love doesn’t just disappear overnight,” His brother said in the car. “It’s something that is built overtime, and broken down over even more.” He had also suggested that maybe the love of Regulus’s life was out there somewhere, waiting for him to find him. So, from that alone Regulus could tell you how off his rocker Sirius was. Maybe he shouldn’t have let his brother drive him home after two bottles of champagne…

Regulus had already gone through half a bottle of wine since he got home and it had only made him feel worse. Too much alcohol meant too many feelings. Too many emotions he wished he could ignore. 

He ignites the flame of his matches and turns on the gas of the stove, planning to make a cup of tea to sober himself up. Sirius had told him they could easily replace that broken thing, but Regulus was too attached. It was the first piece of furniture they had bought in that house, and he wasn’t done with it just yet. Especially since it did the trick anyways. Who cared if it was a little extra work? It was homey. 

Regulus pauses, a realization dawning on him. He extinguishes the match and leans over the gas. He takes a few breaths before his computer rings with a notification, taking him out of his state. 

“What am I doing?!” He asks himself, rushing to open the window after turning off the gas. He sputters into the air. Thank goodness there were no neighbors nearby. His brother already thought he was mad - the last thing he needed was other people who agreed. 

“Low point. Low point! ” He argues at himself before going back to the computer. Sirius suggested he get out of town for a bit. “I can watch the cottage.” He said, “But you deserve a holiday. It’s about time you  explore what the world has to offer and not have everything around you remind you of him. It’ll do you some good to get out of here.”

Regulus had listed his home on a website about an hour ago, just in case. He hadn’t really thought that he would get a response, but here he was staring at his laptop with wide eyes. Someone was interested - had an interesting name too. Maybe their parents would’ve gotten along with the stars and Roman mythology thing going on. Regulus shivers at the thought before checking the messages. 

I’m interested in renting your house, is it available?

Are you there?

I’m wondering if your house is available this Christmas, because if it is, you could be a real life saver.

Regulus smiles to himself as a new message sends through. 

I know it’s ridiculously late to be asking. If you’re at all interested, please contact me.

“Oh.” Regulus sighs in relief. 

I’m very interested. But the cottage is really only available for home exchange.

Regulus sends, before realizing he may need to explain this a bit further. 

Meaning: we switch houses, cars, everything. I haven’t done it before, but friends of mine have.

He sends a quick follow up. 

Same wallet though. Not going to steal that from you.

Haha. 

The other man replies and Regulus smiles. A good sense of humor, check.

Where are you?

He types before looking up at the heavens. “Please say somewhere far away,” He begs aloud. 

L.A.!

“L.A.!” He reads outloud happily at the other man’s response. Well that was about as far away as he could get in the English speaking world. 

I’ve never been there, but always wanted to go.

He quickly types back. 

I’m Regulus by the way, I’m very normal, neat freak, healthy, non-smoker, single. 

Regulus sniffs at the last word, grabbing another tissue to blow into. “I hate my horrible life,” He says out loud to no one in particular. 

I’m Remus. Weird name, I know. It appears both of our parents had odd choices, hmm?

I’m a loner, loser, and complicated wreck.

The next message reads. Regulus snorts, happy he still has a tissue up to his nose. 

Hi.

The follow up message reads, then another one. 

Must say, your house looks idyllic. Just what I need.

He smiles to himself, knowing that he and Sirius had thought the same thing when they bought it. 

Really? Thanks. What does your place look like?

My place is nice — little bigger than yours.

He replies.

Not hard to be, to be honest.

Regulus responds, feeling himself smile at this random stranger’s sense of humor.

Can I ask you one thing?

The stranger sends next.

Of course.

Regulus responds. 

Are there any men in your town?

The message reads. Regulus smirks slightly. A fellow homosexual it seems. He definitely wanted to exchange numbers now. It would be nice to be able to talk to someone about how miserable his love life was where they would understand. So little options - and a rarer chance of good ones.

“Honestly...” He thinks out loud to himself. Besides him and Sirius, who would probably remain within the pubs and his home for the next few weeks knowing he didn’t have to take care of his little brother’s heartbreak fiasco… 

Zero.

Regulus responds. Instantly another message goes through. 

When can I come?

Regulus grins to himself in surprise. Well that went smoother than expected. 

Is tomorrow too soon??? 

Regulus asks, already pulling up plane tickets. Regulus takes a deep breath, wondering if he’s pushing it.

Tomorrow’s perfect!

His computer bings and he switches screens, grinning wider than before. He sighs in relief.

Okay, we are on - for two weeks starting tomorrow! Here’s my number…

He sends before laughing and raising his hands up in the air. 

“Let the chaos begin!” He calls to the empty house that he didn’t have to face again for another two weeks. God bless Remus from L.A.

***

“So? How’s jolly old England?” Pete asks over the phone and Remus groans.

“Pete, I’m bored. Can you believe it?” Remus flops back on the bed pitifully. 

“I can’t actually. You’ve only been there a day.” Peter smirks looking over his shoulder, pausing in combing his hair

“A day too long away from work. I don’t think I’m good at this vacation thing.” Pete laughs, throwing his head back.

“Always our little workaholic. Well tell me, what did you do?”

“Well I got here, unpacked a little, and decided to get some groceries. Had to drive to do that, and almost got killed twice.” Peter snickers at that. “Pete, I was driving on the wrong side of the road, cut me some slack.” He watches Peter brush his teeth again and sighs, shaking his head to himself. "Watched some boring television - oh! The ad came on for the movie we wrote last spring during commercial breaks. It looks like it’s already catching some steam on social media.”

“Oh that’s great!” Peter responds happily.

“I really should give you some more credit though - that running shot at the end - masterpiece.” Pete grins and Remus can’t help but smile too. Peter’s energy was infectious. “But yeah, back to what I did. I lit a fire, put on some music. I thought about cutting my hair - which if that’s not a sign of mental instability I don’t know what is - cranked up the Killers pretty loud, raided the wine cabinet. I’ll leave Regulus some money for that indiscretion…” 

“Sounds like an interesting evening,” Pete agrees, straightening his jacket.

“Speaking of an interesting evening - looks like yours is shaping up to be, hmm?”

“I have a date.” He grins at the screen.

“Oh? What’s her name?”

“Emmeline. She’s an actress. We met on set.” He was practically glowing. 

“What’s she like?”

“Well she’s nice. She says she misses her family, and they chat with her often.” Remus smiles, knowing how important family is to Peter. 

“That’s good. Where are you going too?”

“This nice place in the city that James recommended.”

“Mhmm, solid recommendation, I’m sure.” Pete nods, knowing that James was somewhat of a private culinary expert. He got it from his parents. 

“Anyways, enough about me. Shouldn’t you be sleeping? Trying to nap off that jet lag?” He suggests.

“I don’t know, Pete. I may try and see if I can fly back to the states tomorrow and crash at James’s for a bit. This situation really isn’t working for me. I’m alone, and it’s eating me alive.”

“Mhmm,” He acknowledges. “Why don’t you give it a go for one more day? You never know. Maybe something interesting will happen.” 

“Please, nothing interesting ever happens to me.” Remus argues before suddenly hearing a banging on the door. 

“What the fuck?” Remus wonders aloud. 

“You better get that.” Pete says and Remus nods. 

“If I die, you get my book collection.”

“Awe Moons, you're the best.” 

Remus rolls his eyes, but ends the call. The banging continues as Remus cautiously makes his way down the stairs.

“Who is it?” Remus calls through the door, wracking his jetlagged brain for some name that may ring a bell.

“It’s me! Hurry up! It’s freezing!” The deep voice on the other side of the door huffs irritatedly. Remus creeps towards the door, more confused than ever. He had talked to Regulus on the phone once today to make sure he had settled in well, and to warn him that his ex boyfriend may be coming over later for some of his crap. Regulus had groaned sympathetically, and Remus had appreciated that. But the man on the other side of the door didn’t sound familiar at all.

“Who are you?” Remus calls out.

“Reggie, open the door or I swear I’m going to take a leak all over your fucking-“ Remus wasn’t exactly hoping to make a bad impression on his host by having some random stranger pissing on his front stoop, so he quickly swings the door open. The man turns over his shoulder and they both freeze. His cheeks were pink flushed, and long dark hair was slightly windswept over his face. He had sculpted features, all high cheekbones with a strong jaw. His gray blue eyes were the most striking of all, and his pink lips slightly parted. Remus blinks in surprise at the Greek god the universe had dropped on his doorstep out of nowhere. 

“Oh,” The man breathes softly, also giving Remus a once over, making Remus’s heart skip a beat. “You’re not Reggie.”

Chapter Text

“Or if you are, I’m much drunker than I realize.” The man before him chuckles and Remus cracks a smile at the sound. When Peter said the universe may drop him something interesting, he wasn’t sure if this was what he had meant. He was not complaining though. If Peter had manifested it into the universe, as Dorcas and Mary called it, Remus had to profusely thank him later. 

“I’m sorry for my profanity,” The man continues, sticking his hands into his pockets. “I just wasn’t expecting… you .” He bites his lip slightly and Remus’s stomach flips. 

“Well, I wasn’t expecting you either.” Remus admits, clinging onto the door to keep his body steady. Now he understood why Dorcas said that English accents were killers. His voice was so smooth…

“Ah, nevertheless,” The man grimaces slightly, “May I just…?” Remus remembers him yelling about taking a piss earlier and quickly moves aside.

“Oh, yeah, of course, sure. Sorry.” The black haired man rushes in with a respectful nod before quickly turning around, realizing that he should probably make some introductions.

“I’m Sirius Black, Reggie’s brother.” He sticks out his hand to shake and Remus takes it quickly, feeling a shock of electricity pass between them. He pulls away, trying not to let his fingers linger, yet knowing deep down he was only partially successful.

“Oh - brother.” He says, now understanding why he thought their voices sounded similar, and feeling a bit better about himself not presuming every british accent sounded the same. He shuts the front door as Sirius makes his way towards the bathroom.

“Well, I’m Remus Lupin.” Remus says quickly, trying to get a word in before Sirius goes into the bathroom.

“Remus Lupin, like wolfy wolf…?” Sirius looks over his shoulder with a kind of smirk. Oh god, he was hot and knew mythology. He may as well just take Remus on a romantic date and swoon him now. Or just get Remus on his knees, Remus’s brain currently can’t decide which. 

“Yeah, my parents must hate me, huh?” Remus jokes through the door, laughing slightly before looking up at the ceiling. Brother? More like god on earth. James and Peter would never believe this. He quickly turns to the mirror and tries to tidy up his messy curls. He had just gotten out of bed and his hair was very evident of that fact.

“So Reggie is… Where is… Where is he?” The man calls from the bathroom, where Remus can hear the sound of flowing water.

“He didn’t tell you?” Remus asks, pulling on his sweater anxiously. 

“He could’ve done…” Sirius opens the door and smiles anxiously at Remus before unceremoniously tripping over his feet slightly. He knocks over a lamp and they both reach to keep it from falling to the floor, hands brushing. Remus's heart thuds against his chest as he takes a quick step back. He feels Sirius’s eyes linger on him, before he slowly rises to put the lamp back in its place. “But as previously stated,” His eyes continue to trail up Remus’s body and Remus suddenly wishes he wasn’t wearing this thick sweater, his body boiling beneath it. 

“I’m, I’ve just been out and,” He steps towards Remus and Remus quickly swallows.

“He’s in Los Angeles,” Remus blurts out, in a slight panic. Sirius looks at him with confusion before shaking his head with a small chuckle. 

“That’s not possible. Reggie nevers goes anywhere.”

“Well, we have that in common.” Remus chuckles, realizing he should talk to his house-swapper a bit more to learn what else they have in common. “No, he listed this home on a travel website that my friend recommended, and I found it.” Sirius leans on the wall next to Remus’s head to steady himself and Remus had never been so glad for those stupid low ceilings. He was cursing them when he came in, his height causing him to unceremoniously smack his head more than once. But God it was a gift now that he had a handsome man leaning on the wall next to him, looking like he jumped out of one of Remus’s fantasies. 

Remus coughs quickly to try to cover his blush. "We switched houses for two weeks. For the holiday. He’s in L.A. at my house, and I’m here.” Remus swallows hard, trying to keep his thoughts on the gray eyes studying him carefully, and not how much heat was coursing through his body. 

“Do people actually do that? I mean, I suggested Reggie go away for a bit to get his mind off things but-“

“-Yeah apparently, it seems. Here I am... in my pajamas.” It registers in his head that Remus was meeting a handsome, fully dressed up stranger, in a pair of flannel pants and one of his oldest chunky sweaters. He was sure this was a very unflattering look.

“He did ring me last night, I hadn’t gotten a chance to get back to him yet. Awww, ” Sirius groans and backs away from the wall. Remus swallows down a whimper in his throat at the loss of closeness. “I feel awful now.” Sirius appears to try to steady himself again and Remus looks at him concerned. “Uh, hate to ask this, but. Do you mind if I sit? I’m afraid I’m going to fall into you.” 

"I wouldn’t mind," Remus thinks before he shakes himself out of it.

“Sure, yeah, sit.”

“Ohhhhh.” Sirius almost lays down on the coach and Remus’s concern increases. 

“You okay?” Remus asks, much more worried about the attractive man falling over on his couch than his rapidly increasing heart rate.

“Yeah, I’m good. I have some back issues from work,” He says with a small chuckle. God, why was that so attractive? Why is everything that this man is doing attractive? 

“Look, I’m sorry about the intrusion.”

“Oh,” Remus swats the air. “You should see what my best friend is like when he’s drunk. Big old 'I love you all' softie.” Sirius grins and Remus swears the room lights up

“Although I may not appear so at the moment, I am in fact Regulus’s semi-respectable big brother.” Remus smiles to himself and looks at his feet, shuffling back and forth on them. “But on the rare, or lately not so rare occasion, that I frequent the local pub and get… inordinately pissed,” Remus laughs and he watches the other man hesitate for a second with a small look of awe cross his face. “My little brother puts me up so I don’t get behind the wheel.” He shakes his head slightly, looking down at the couch cushions. “Pathetic explanation, but unfortunately it’s become a bit of a routine.” Remus nods in understanding. His dad was the same way for a few years, crashing at every place possible to try to get over his mom. Didn’t work too well for him either... 

Remus slowly sits down in the chair opposite Sirius and smiles slightly, hoping it can convey he understands. Sirius smiles back softly, before shaking his head slightly and raising his eyebrows. “So how’s it going so far? I mean, up until I showed up and ruined your night.” You didn’t ruin it…

“Well, it’s… it’s… it’s not going great.” Remus admits, running his fingers through his curls and Sirius’s gaze softens. “Yeah, I’m probably leaving tomorrow on a noon plane.”

“Oh…” Sirius says and… was that disappointment in his tone? “When did you get here?” He asks. 

“Ummm,” Remus looks down at his watch. “About six hours ago.” Sirius cracks a half smile.

“We’ve made a great impression on you, haven’t we?” He says with a small laugh. Remus suddenly feels an urge in his gut to stay a little longer, if not just to hear that small laugh another time. 

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that… You know, I’m not quite myself right now. I-I came here on a stupid whim. Honestly, I’ve never thought about anything less.” Remus chuckles to himself, falling back on his self-deprecating humor. “It’s very unlike me.” Sirius tilts his head slightly to the side and Remus swears he could feel his insides melt. Oh that… that was adorable. He absolutely needed to make this man stay longer. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Remus offers before he can think about the connotations of that. “Glass of water?” He quickly follows up with. He watches the smile widen on Sirius’s face and he feels his stomach flip again. God, it was reacting more to the man across from him than it did on the entire plane ride there. “Tea? Wine, maybe?”

He points to the wine rack and smiles wickedly at him. Oh… Oh that look. The side of his mind that wants to kneel down and worship this man starts winning more than Remus would like to admit. 

“I think there’s a bottle of brandy over there. Fancy a glass?” Remus pretends to consider it for a moment before smiling.

“Sure.”

“Good,” Sirius responds as Remus gets up. “So…” He hears the other man hiss slightly. “I’m so sorry, I’ve totally blanked and forgotten your name. And I even made a joke about it.”

“Remus,” Remus says, looking over at him from the kitchen with a smile. He sees a small flush start to form on Sirius’s face and this gives Remus a small pause before he looks back to the task at hand.

“So, Remus, you’re not married are you?” He asks and Remus squeaks inside. Oh… he’s asking if I'm single now, huh?

“Why? Do I look not married?” Remus decides to play with him a little. 

“No!” Sirius says quickly, before coughing slightly. “It was just a backwards way of asking if you were married,” He admits and Remus pours a glass.

“No, not at all.” Remus acquiesces, then pauses. “Don’t know what that means.” Remus cringes to himself before pouring another glass. “I mean, no, I’m not married.” Sirius laughs softly and Remus tries not to close his eyes to sink into that sound. 

“Me either,” Sirius says softly, looking down at his pants. Remus smiles softly as he brings over glasses to the both of them.

“Here you go.” Remus hands him a glass. They cheers and the tension increases once again as Remus feels he can’t take his eyes off of Sirius. This seems reciprocated as they laugh a little to themselves. God, Remus felt like a teenager again. 

“So… is it horrible if I stay?” Sirius asks, cringing slightly. “I’ll be gone before you even wake up. I promise you will never lay eyes on me again.” Remus’s stomach drops slightly. What if I want to keep my eyes on you longer?

“Oh…” Remus stirs his drink slightly, looking down at it. “No, that’s fine. Sure.”

“Thank you,” Sirius says earnestly and Remus catches his eyes again. Remus was never one for big soppy poetry when it came to romance. But he swears for a moment, anyone would become one when looking into Sirius’s eyes. 

“Let me get you a blanket.”

“In the cupboard, on top of the Scrabble.” Sirius points. 

“Ah,” Remus opens it and hears a shuffle of movement behind him on the couch.

“So why is it you aren’t quite yourself at the moment?” Remus looks back and sees Sirius taking off his coat. Oh lord in heaven, that button up was way too tight to be legal…

“Uh, well, I,” Remus tries to busy himself with pulling out the blanket and shutting the cupboard. “I just broke up with my boyfriend… Yesterday.” Sirius makes a yikes face and starts to take off his blazer and tie. Oh this was not making this any easier… He sees a moment of recognition in Sirius’s eyes at the mention of the gender of the partner, and a small smirk flick over his features. “And, I guess what I was feeling was that I didn’t want to be alone over the holidays, and I thought that if I was somewhere else, that I wouldn’t realize that I was alone. But then I got here and I’ve never felt more alone in my life.” He hands the blankets to him and Sirius smiles at him gently. “Big surprise there. Bet you’re glad you knocked on this door.” Remus jokes in his normal self-deprecating fashion. 

“I am actually,” Sirius says softly and Remus feels his smile falter for a moment into an ‘oh’ expression. 

“Yeah, well…” Remus tears his gaze away before he does something stupid. “Sorry, and…goodnight.” 

“Sweet dreams,” Sirius says before leaning forward. Before Remus can realize what’s happening the beautiful stranger has kissed him… on the lips. Remus blinks for a moment to regain his thoughts, touching his lips slightly that were buzzing with the contact. Oh …

Sirius’s eyes widen in realization and he takes a sharp breath in. “Uhh,” He swallows hard as Remus runs his fingers through his hair. 

“Do you think you could umm,” He shakes his head at the ridiculousness of this question. “Would you mind, umm...trying that again?” He knows he’s giving the man in front of him slight bedroom eyes and watches his expression glaze over slightly. The edge of his mouth lifts up as his eyes go from a panic to a sort of want. He slowly leans forward and kisses Remus again and wow , was it different than Benjy. Maybe it was the softness floating in his stomach. Remus looks down and he sees Sirius’s face shift into worry.

“Bad?” He asks and Remus almost laughs. Sirius? The sculpture of a man created by the heavens above? Bad at kissing? Oh no. Absolutely not. 

“Weird.” Remus admits and sits down on the couch.

“Not a ‘not bad’,” Sirius says, but sits down next to him. Remus shakes his head laughing to himself. 

“Well, I mean. I’m kissing a total stranger.”

“Really?” Sirius asks with that mischievous grin from before and shrugs. “I do it all the time.”

“Looking like that? That doesn’t surprise me.” Remus lets himself flirt and his eyes roam the other man’s body for a moment. He watches Sirius’s gray eyes widen a bit more, and the gray become pushed out for a bit more black. “But for someone looking like me… well, let me try this.” Remus adjusts himself to face him. He swallows hard before letting himself fall forward and kissing him again. He gently puts his hand on the other man’s shoulder and squeals internally. There was muscle there! Like - the ‘ I work out ' kind of muscle. Holy fuck!

They pull away and Sirius looks into his eyes, as if searching for something. Remus blushes in embarrassment realizing something.

“Maybe if I closed my eyes.” Sirius raises his eyebrows with a small smirk.

“That could help.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up.” 

He suddenly feels soft, but slightly calloused hands on his cheeks, pressing some of his curls away from his face. He can feel his insides screaming as he lets himself be kissed by the man in front of him. Instead of going for his lips like the other times, Remus gasps softly as he feels Sirius kiss down the scar on his face. 

He didn’t talk about it much - how he got that scar. How he had been peddling on his bike so fast after that fateful day that he couldn’t slow down and rammed into a trash can that just so happened to have glass bottles... The result was messy and bloody. His face and parts of his body had never fully recovered from it, and every day Remus woke up he was reminded of the worst day of his life. He wished he had a better memory of it. Maybe this could be it…

Remus moans slightly as Sirius makes his way back to his mouth and kisses him, it was sloppier this time, more needy, and Remus was in. Oh he was so in. He pulls Sirius closer and feels them starting to fall back on the couch. He quickly pulls away, needing to get his thoughts out before it goes any further. 

“You know, given that I’m in a bit of a personal crisis, and I find myself in a total stranger's home, in a town that I can’t actually remember the name of, and considering that you showed up and you’re like, Greek god status of good looking.” Sirius chuckles and looks down at the couch. Was he blushing? Oh my god, that made him even hotter. “And you’re really drunk and probably won’t remember me anyways,” Sirius shakes his head, about to open his mouth to say something, but Remus beats him to it. “I’m thinking, we should have sex.” Sirius’s eyes widen the most he had seen all night and his mouth drops open.

“Is… is that a trick question?” Sirius asks, tilting his head again, his cockiness from earlier coming back. Remus laughs and shakes his head. 

“I’m actually serious.” Remus starts playing with his hands anxiously.

“No I am,” Sirius says and Remus throws his head back in a laugh. He looks back down and swears Sirius is practically drooling looking at his neck. The rest of his laughter catches in his throat.

“And not that this matters, but I’ve never said anything like that in my entire life before.” Sirius grins and oh wow, he was endearing… and the way he was looking at Remus. He suddenly feels warm hands over his own and looks down. Sirius’s hands were gently holding his, as if moved there on instinct and Remus swears he feels the current shoot through his body. “It’s just this whole I’ll never see you again thing is kinda exciting.” Remus slowly lifts one of his hands and runs it up his chest. He hears Sirius’s breath suck in slowly. His brain starts to let him ramble, trying not to process the intake of breath. “I mean, this is what a vacation is supposed to be, right?” Sirius hums and Remus isn’t sure he’s actually listening anymore. “You’re supposed to vacate your life, do the unexpected. And you are… definitely unexpected.” 

“This all sounded wonderful till I became the cabana boy,” Sirius quips back and Remus shakes his head. 

“And you’re funny, which is like a huge bonus.”

“Yeah?” Sirius raises his eyebrows.

“Mhmm.”

“Never meet me in my office. I do have a reputation to uphold.”

“Deal.” Remus practically climbs onto his lap, the screaming of his pelvis region not giving the rational side of his brain time to catch up. Sirius runs his hands up his back and Remus whimpers softly before pulling away.

“Oh, also I should warn you, I’m not very good at this.” Sirius looks at him confused. 

“This being?..”

“Ummm, sex? Shagging? Whatever you Brits call it.” 

“Alright, now that cannot be true,” Sirius says gently. Remus blushes as Sirius slowly lifts his sweater over his head. He notices Sirius pause for a moment and exhale softly.

“Nevertheless, the guy that I lived with…mentioned it once or twice and someone like me does not forget a comment like that. Not with my baggage,” Remus says with a grimace and Sirius immediately stops his hands. He puts a hand under Remus’s chin to make him look at him. 

“If you’re not comfortable, we don’t have to do this. Especially since you are well aware I am…well... I don’t have that much alcohol in me. Even less so now than I was when I got here, or an hour ago. So that’s a plus, but.” Remus gently trails his hand down Sirius’s chest and watches him blink at him quickly for a moment, as if surprised at the touch. 

“I thought you said you did this a lot?”

“I do… but… you’re different.” He shakes his head slightly, looking at Remus with this mystified awe of an expression. “This feels different somehow.”

“Am I talking you out of this?” Remus asks, suddenly worried. 

“Strangely, not at all,” Sirius admits and it’s Remus’s turn to feel flustered as a hand runs up his bare side. “How do you feel about… foreplay?” 

“I think it’s overrated,” Remus admits. “When you’re horny enough that is.” He looks down towards his and Sirius’s pelvic region. Sirius laughs softly and shakes his head. 

“You are quickly becoming one of the most interesting people I have ever met.” Remus grins and pulls Sirius’s collar forward for a moment, before walking away. He lets his hips sway slightly. He looks over his shoulder and grins, watching the awed expression of the other man follow him.

“God, look at you,” Sirius says breathily. “You’re already better than you think…”

Chapter Text

“Here we are sir.”

“Are you absolutely sure?” Regulus asks, looking down at his phone and then out at the mansion before him.

“79 Hogsmeade Drive? This is the place.” The driver confirms.

“Holy shit…” Regulus gets out of the car and looks up at the house in shock. “Sorry, I’m house sitting for a friend. I’ve… I’ve never seen their house in person before. It just took me by surprise.” The driver laughs in sympathy and helps him with his bags.

“Now I know why he gave me a gate passcode. Fucking hell Remus, could’ve given a guy a warning.” He mutters under his breath before plugging in the passcode. The gates swing open and Regulus stares in awe. God… He knew realistically, he and Sirius could afford a house like this, but he knew neither of them would want it. It reminded them too much of the prison they grew up in. But his mother would’ve hated this style, and this filled him with enough glee to rush around the house after a nearly twelve hour flight. 

He squeals at the personal gym, movie room and the pool. Oh Sirius would be so jealous right now. He takes some pictures of the place and sends them to Pandora, knowing she’s more of the insomniac than his brother. Instantly he gets a call.

“So did you win the lottery or something? Or have you finally convinced Sirius that he needs to have more room?” She asks.

“Oh no nothing like that. I’m on holiday!” Regulus says, lugging his suitcase to the top of the stairs and searching for the bed.

“No you are not . Regulus Black.” 

“It was spontaneous. I did a house exchange with a man named Remus and now I’m here, and he’s there.”

“Have you told your brother that so he doesn’t just show up at the poor guy’s house unannounced?”

“I did, but heaven knows if he’ll remember. That man is far beyond my control.” Regulus jokes before gasping. “Oh, Christ.” 

“What?”

“He… he has a king sized bed.”

“Oh my god .”

“Pands, you know what I need to do.”

“Absolutely. Go take the best nap of your life.” 

Regulus squeals as she hangs up and runs towards it, jumping starfish style onto it. He laughs letting his head fall back on the sheets. What an adventure this already was…

***

He wakes up to the sound of beeping next to him, he looks over and briefly realizes it’s the phone.

“Hello?” He asks groggily, confused why someone would be calling him. Remus and him had already spoken earlier…

“Hey, sorry to interrupt, Remus told me that there would be someone new here at some point. I hope your flight was pleasant.” A warm male voice radiates through the speakers.

“Oh,” Regulus says pleasantly surprised. He was thoughtful too… No, Regulus. Don’t you dare. Not again . “Yes, it was, thank you. I just took a nap while I was sleeping like a boulder, so I think you picked the perfect time to call."

“Well, perfect. I was wondering if you could open the gate? Remus left me some stuff to pick up. Not sure why I’ve been selected as tribute for this task, but."

“Oh… right. Remus sent me the passcode… erm.” Regulus opens his phone and tries to type in the keycode before the phone beeps loudly in his year. 

“Oh fucking, fuck!” He says, reeling from the sudden loud noise. He hears a laugh over the phone, but the buzz signifies the gate opening. “If you heard any of that I am terribly sorry.” Regulus says quickly, feeling his initial happiness immediately subdued by embarrassing himself in front of the nice sounding stranger. 

He quickly hangs up the phone and rushes down. By the time he gets outside he sees a man getting out of his car, playing some music he had never heard before. It was beautiful if he was honest. It sounded like the kind of music he would listen to while writing or studying in uni. 

“Hi!” Regulus says, embarrassed. 

“Hi,” The other man says, with a small laugh. Regulus pauses for a moment to take him in. He had messy brown hair with hazel blue eyes, covered by wire spectacles and a face with a wide grin. If the sun wasn’t already smiling, Regulus would think that the man in front of him was the sun. That was until he looked over in the car and saw a woman on her phone with a smile on her face. Right.

“I’m so sorry. I’m new at the gate thing,” Regulus rushes to apologize. 

“It’s okay, it was pretty funny.” The other man admits and sticks his hand out to shake. “I’m James Potter, I work with Remus and the gang. I was the one chosen to give Benjy back his stuff. Why they picked me when I was the one who wanted to strangle the man for cheating on my best friend, I’ll never know.” He huffs slightly.

“Ohhh, I know how that feels. It is not… It’s certainly not pleasant.” He then realizes he’s left James hanging with his hand out. “Oh- I’m Regulus.”

“Interesting name - much less common than mine.” He says as they shake.

“A blessing and a curse.” Regulus admits, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. The wind immediately blows it out from its carefully curated place and Regulus huffs. James chuckles. 

“Santa Anas,” He says gently.

“Pardon?” Regulus asks, tilting his head to the side slightly. James smiles wider.

“The wind… it’s what makes it so warm this time of year. My mother used to tell a story about them, though I think it’s just legend. She said that when the Santa Ana winds blow, anything can happen.”

“Good day to arrive then, I suppose.” 

“First time in LA?” Regulus nods. “Well, people badmouth this place all the time, but give it a chance. L.A. is highly misunderstood. There’s a lot of magic around here. Plus, there aren’t many places where the nights smell like jasmine and where the days smell like orange blossom.” Wow… quite poetic. That was attractive. Stop, he has a girlfriend, you idiot.

“From around here then?” Regulus crosses his arms, hoping he can squeeze his heart back into his chest.

“Born and raised. My parent’s house is down the block. I live next door.”

“Oh, so you knew he left?”

“Yes, I wasn’t aware it would be so soon though. I was kind of surprised that you picked up - not in a bad way though! It’s always nice to introduce someone new to this town. You do know about the boxes then?”

“Yes, although I think…Remus may have forgotten to tell me where they were. I can shoot him a text and you can swing around later, if that’s alright with you?”

“Fine by me,” James nods before moving to turn back to his car. Regulus reaches out and quickly draws his hand back before stepping forward and asking.

“Before you go though, I need to ask. What’s that music from? It… it feels familiar, but also not completely. I can’t place it.”

“Oh,” He turns around and a soft blush fills the other man’s cheeks. “It’s mine. I wrote it.”

“Oh!” Regulus says in surprise. “Well I must say it’s beautiful. I… when my brother and I were kids we used to write music together all the time, but as we got older we stopped. I think he started to see it as a remnant from our past he wanted to forget… and I don’t have space for a piano in my house.”

“Well, I know for sure Remus has a beautiful one my dad gifted him last Christmas, so feel free to enjoy that one. I’m sure he won’t mind. However, I also have one at my house if you’d like to come over sometime. I could show you some of my work too.”

“Oh that would be lovely. Can I come over tomorrow, if it’s not an issue? I have nothing planned and well, it is quite lonely being in a new place far from home during the holidays.” James’s eyes soften more and his smile grows.

“Of course, I am planning on visiting my dad tomorrow, but he loves to meet new people and hear what I’m working on. Says it reminds him of my mom.”

“Oh your mother has..?”

“Passed on, yes. A few years ago.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Regulus’s eyes soften. He remembered when his cousins passed away and how hard him and Sirius had taken it. He could only imagine that would be amplified if James and his parents had a good relationship.

“It’s alright… I think that’s why neither me or my dad can bear to leave this place. It contains too many memories for us.”

“Oh trust me, I know all about too many memories.” Regulus shakes his head sympathetically. “Oh owe.” Regulus blinks quickly. “Damn winds.” James chuckles and steps back towards him again.

“Something in your eye?”

“Yep, sorry,” Regulus cringes in embarrassment. “First the gate, now I’m stabbing my eye out in front of you.

“Here, let me. I can see it better than you can.” He takes a step forward and Regulus resorts to sarcasm as a reflex. 

“Can you with those glasses?”

“Oi!” James laughs and Regulus reluctantly feels some warmth fill his chest. James gently pulls out an eyelash. “Make a wish,” Regulus rolls his eyes at this, but closes his eyes. He thinks for a moment before he finds the wish he wants to make. He blows softly and James smiles.

“Good wish?” He asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“I think so, but I can’t tell you, can I? That’ll ruin the magic.”

“True,” James confirms and only then does Regulus realize how close they are. He really was beautiful, even more so up close. Regulus rattles his flustered brain to try to find any words before he finds he doesn’t need to.

“James!” A woman’s voice calls that knocks both of them out of their moment.

“Yes?”

“We need to go, my call time on set is in an hour and a half.” The woman says from his car.

“Oh shit, sorry love.” He rushes over to the car before pausing. “Well since you’re coming over tomorrow and I’ll probably see more of you. This is my girlfriend Emmeline. Emmeline, this is Regulus, he’s staying at Remus’s house for now.” She gives him a slight wave and Regulus waves back politely, trying to bite down the jealous bile rising in his gut. He hoped she knew that she had the epitome of a beam of sunshine in her hands right now. She better not break it.

“Pleasure. Break a leg on set!” Regulus calls out, reminding himself of his manners.

“Thank you!” She calls back.

“Don’t blow away!” James winks over his shoulder after swinging the car around.

Regulus stays to watch them go. He sighs and swallows hard.

“Anything can happen… Right. Sure. I think the universe just likes to torture me with the most perfect man who has a girlfriend ,” He grumbles to himself. He goes inside the house, rolling his eyes. He looks down at his phone and realizes he should probably reach out to make sure not he’s not leaving James hanging tomorrow.

Hey Remus, 

How are you faring? Is the jet lag keeping you up as well?

Your friend James swung by to pick up the boxes you mentioned, but I realized I had no idea where they were. Should’ve asked for more details - my bad!

Get back to me when you can - and enjoy the snow! I think my brother mentioned that there are supposed to be some today in your corner of the world. 

Talk soon,

Regulus

Chapter Text

“Remus, it’s midnight, what on earth?” Marlene groans sleepily over the phone, now placed on speaker on the bedspread that Remus had practically tossed to the other side of the room the night before. 

“Marlene, it’s important.” Remus insists, trying to push those memories to the side for a moment. He moves his head to the side to look in the mirror on the back of the wardrobe. Oh it was so obvious…

“Alright. What is it? Broke the shower?” Remus rolls his eyes.

“No,” He sighs, knowing this is going to spread around their friend group like wildfire. “I… I got a love bite. How do I cover it?"

“You’ve got a… REMUS LUPIN!” Remus flinches at the sudden change in tone. “You’ve been in England for less than twenty-four hours how the fuck do you have a hickie?” He hears Dorcas gasp from the receiver.

“Hi Dorcas,” He sighs, already knowing what’s coming. 

“EXCUSE ME?! Spill! Now.” Dorcas exclaims and Remus sighs.

“You’re on speaker now.” Marlene says.

“Assumed - and. I don’t even know where to start, but I guess this is the best place. The owner of this cottage has an older brother. He showed up last night after getting drunk. I suggested we hook up, and now I’m trying to figure out how to get rid of a hideously obvious mark before getting on a plane back to you all.”

“No, no, no.” Marlene says.

“You hooked up with someone after you just met them? Remus, I’m surprised by you!” Dorcas says, mock aghast. 

“Remus is also surprised by Remus.” Remus deadpans. 

“Alright, but what is this about going home?” Marlene asks.

“I miss you all. I’m not doing well alone,” Remus admits, deciding to go with another one of his sweaters. 

“Well clearly, you don’t seem to be alone,” Marlene remarks with a snicker.

“It’s a one night stand. We agreed. I’d be surprised if he remembers my name. Anyways, I woke up and he wasn’t here. He probably went home.”

“God, you’re no fun,” Marlene complains.

“Well, what was he like?” Dorcas pries further and this is all the pushing he needs to ramble on.

“Dorcas, no exaggeration. He looked like a Greek god and fucked better than one.”

“No!” She gasps as Remus checks himself in the mirror. That one wasn’t high enough. He searches through his suitcase again.

“His cheekbones, his lips. Fuck, he had abs - I didn’t think anyone had time to have abs these days,” Marlene snorts. “Don’t even get me started on the rest of his body because I could go on.”

“Good… you know ?” Dorcas urges and he can hear the smirk in her tone. He flushes, but answers honestly.

“If I never screwed anyone afterwards, but him. I’d be fine with that.”

“So why did you let him walk out again?” Marlene asks.

“I… I promised, no feelings. After all, I’m going home today,” Remus says, feeling less and less confident as he continues.

“Why don’t you give it another day. It can’t hurt. You may be able to reach out to Regulus and get his number?” Marlene suggests.

“Yes, but how do I ask for that without telling him I fucked his brother? He’s been so understanding with the whole Benjy situation.” He checks himself in the mirror again and sighs in relief. “Also, Marlene, I found a high collar sweater."

“Of course, I should’ve known I could’ve told you to search the Remus Lupin sweater arsenal.” Remus sighs heavily at the sarcastic comment.

“Why do I call you again?”

“Because you love us. Also, I agree with my girlfriend. You should stay an extra day. You’re taking risks - which of course are we happy for you, even though we hope you were safe," Dorcas emphasizes. 

“We were. James insisted I pack some. I should thank him later,” Remus says with a chuckle.

“Mhmm, you should also thank him for suggesting this vacation cause you got laidddd.” Dorcas giggles at her own comment and Remus rolls his eyes again. 

“But my point still stands,” Marlene cuts back in. “Give it another day. See what happens. Let yourself live a little, Remus. If not for you, do it for your friends across the world who are cheering you on.”

“Fine, I’ll consider it.”

“Better than a no,” Dorcas says. Remus’s stomach growls. 

“I gotta go downstairs and eat. My internal clock is very confused right now, but I should at least try to get on this new schedule.”

“We wish you luck - and keep us posted on the situation with… what’s the guy’s name?” Marlene asks.

“Sirius. Like the star."

“Huh, your parents would get along,” Dorcas comments. 

“Yeah, I thought the same thing. Okay, I gotta go.” They say goodbye and Remus opens the bedroom door. 

He is taken aback by the smell of bacon wafting up the stairs and the small sound of humming from the kitchen. He quietly walks down the stairs and peaks into the room. He watches a man with messy black hair, curls flopping around as he moves. Remus felt his stomach flip in a different way than the hunger he was feeling a moment prior. Sirius was in the kitchen flipping bacon and there were some eggs to his left on a plate. It was oddly domestic and made something strange settle in Remus’s chest. 

He had stayed… 

He notices the coffee maker wasn’t being used.

“Here, let me help.” Remus says and he watches Sirius jump in surprise. He starts to fuss with it before looking confused. “Huh…”

“Can I help you with that?” Sirius asks, finished with the bacon and turning off the stove.

“You’ve already done so much. I should know how to do this,” Remus sighs, looking defeated until he glances to his right and sees Sirius plug it in. “Oh… well that would do it.” Sirius chuckles, passing him two cups and looking at him with glittering gray eyes. They linger on Remus’s for a moment before he takes a sharp breath in and turns to the table and grabs some tylenol and takes two quickly. 

“Care for some? I got a bit of a headache from the brandy,” The other man says gently. Remus finds he can’t tear his eyes away.

“I’ve already had… four?” Remus says trying to remember anything from last night that wasn’t the feeling of Sirius’s lips on his skin. That proved an even more difficult task when his eyes landed on a mark on the pale skin before him. At the place where his neck met his collarbone, Sirius's shirt was unbuttoned enough to reveal an impressive love bite. Remus now felt guilt settle within him for the phone call earlier. His mark was more prominent and defined then Sirius’s was on him, and the man before him wasn’t even trying to hide it. 

“So… Remus, I.” Sirius stutters, quickly buttoning up the rest of his shirt. Remus feels a part of him whine internally at the covering action. Remus pushes that down instantly. No. They agreed. No feelings. No… No feelings.

“Yeah, listen you don’t have to worry about a thing here,” Remus swallows hard, grabbing another coffee cup for Sirius. 

“Alright?” Sirius says, sounding somewhat confused. As if he wasn’t the same man who had agreed to fuck Remus the night before with no strings attached. He didn't need to be so good at it though…

“I mean, it was great meeting you and everything,” Remus says, trying to calm his racing thoughts. He notices that Sirius has started packing some of the eggs and bacon in a container. Right. He’s not staying. Should’ve known that.

“Definitely.” Sirius responds, taking the coffee from Remus’s hands and chugging it. Remus looks on with a bit of concern. Sirius sighs happily afterwards and Remus can’t help, but give him a half smile. His stomach was still sinking from the tupperware container that was slowly being filled, but he was choosing to ignore that for the attention of the man before him.

Remus pulls at the collar of his sweater, trying not to stare, but knowing deep down he was failing. He had been failing miserably the entire morning, if he was being honest. There was something about the swing of the other man’s hips, the way he would push his hair over his shoulder to keep it out of the way, the way his eyes were glimmering in the morning light - it was sucking Remus in. He knew it was. Maybe he should let him leave before Remus can engrave any of these parts to memory. 

He notices Sirius is looking where Remus is pulling before he coughs slightly, looking away from Remus. He looks back and Remus wonders if the deep breath was because of the cough or something else.

“For the record, your ex-boyfriend is, in my opinion, quite mistaken about you.” Remus feels himself flush even more at this. Sweaters were usually Remus’s outfit of choice, but they were far too warm around Sirius. Or maybe it was that Sirius’s presence made Remus feel like he was on fire...

“Yeah, well, you were drunk,” Remus retorts with a small smile, taking a bite of the eggs Sirius had slid over towards him with a fork.

“Not as much as you seem to think. I wasn’t that drunk. I did have some sense,” Sirius responds. Remus wonders where this is heading before the butterflies in his stomach are interrupted by a phone buzzing. He reaches over to grab it before quickly realizing that he had left his upstairs. The caller ID reads ‘Tonks’. Interesting name for a guy . Remus considers for a moment, then realizes he has no room to talk. He quickly hands it to Sirius.

“Tonks,” Remus says, trying not to feel bitter that other people were calling Sirius. You don’t have a claim over him. You’ve slept with him once. I’m sure there are people on this earth he’s slept with more than that. You shouldn’t be surprised that there are other people in his life.

Then an even more damning thought crosses his mind. 

Why are you upset?

“I’ll call them back,” Sirius says, putting the lid on the tupperware. “I should really be going, though.” Remus feels his heart sink and quickly begins scolding himself again. 

“Sure, yeah, makes sense.” Remus looks back to his bacon and eggs that had been so carefully prepared. 

“Listen, I know you don’t want to get involved… and you’re leaving today and just so you know, I have rather enormous issues of my own, and even if you were staying, I can promise you, you wouldn’t for one minute like-“ Sirius begins to ramble. 

“-You don’t have to do this. I’m very damaged in this area myself. And anyway… we hardly know each other,” Remus feels himself saying. Yet, he knew that was only partially true. His fingers had grazed over Sirius’s tattoos. All of them held stories, he was sure, stories he wished deep down he could find out. He knew what Sirius looked like when he came. He remembered the flush of his cheeks, glassy eyes closing with his head thrown back… He knew that he made breakfast for his one night stands… He knew Sirius didn’t leave that morning like Remus had expected him too. 

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly say that,” Sirius says, mirroring Remus’s thoughts. “Anyway, I wanted to assure you, you’re better off.” Remus feels himself make a slight face before he quickly steadies it. 

“Okay,” He says quickly, hoping Sirius didn’t register his moment of weakness. 

“No need to go on. Right. Well, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay because I’m somewhat emotionally dysfunctional at this point in my life and it seems I tend to hurt people by just being myself, so.” Remus laughs.

“Oh me too, don’t worry about that. But I’m not going to fall in love with you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I promise.” Remus gives him a compassionate smile and sees the man next to him look taken aback slightly. 

“Alright, nicely put. Thank you.” Remus sighs.

“See what I mean with the hurting people?” Remus doesn’t give Sirius time to retort before he continues. "I just - I know myself. I’m not sure I even fall in love. Not like the way other people do... How’s that for something to admit?” Remus takes a bite of his bacon and he sees something gentle in the other man’s eyes.

“Well like I said: Most Interesting Person Award,” Remus cracks a smile and looks down at his plate.

“I’m going to try to see that as a compliment.”

“You should,” Sirius says softly. Their eyes meet again and Remus has a sudden urge to reach out and pull him close to his chest. He wanted to reach out, take his face between his hands and kiss him. Remus scolds himself for the millionth time that morning, knowing that they had agreed. One night, no obligations. He had promised him no feelings involved, but if that was true why could he still hear the sound Sirius made as Remus had made that mark on his skin?

“Alright, so this is honestly refreshing,” Sirius quickly rushes to the door to grab his coat and scarf. “Utter honesty, you really would get along with my brother.” Remus smiles, a little confused by the quick change of attitude. "Alright then, so you probably won’t be hearing from me because even if you wanted to - which you clearly don’t - I have the classic male problem of no follow through. Absolutely never remember to call after a date…But… as this wasn’t a date, I guess I’m off the hook.”

“Exactly,” Remus is able to muster a smile and walks over to give him the tupperware he had left on the counter with his breakfast. They pause as he passes it to him, Remus not having it within himself to move away. Sirius must have been having the same fight with himself because the next words out of his mouth take the wind out of Remus.

“But what if I wanted to call you?” Remus feels his eyes widen. His brain scrambles itself trying to find a response, but for once he doesn’t know what to say. Sirius grimaces, getting the wrong impression from Remus’s silence. “Right. Well, if your flight is canceled or if you change your mind… I’m meeting some friends at 6pm in the local pub tonight. There’s only one, so you can’t get lost. You are welcome to join us. It may help you become more acquainted with the place and feel less lonely, because I know how isolating being alone at the holidays feels. But - if not. Just know that… you are lovely,” Sirius scrambles to say, ending with a breathtakingly beautiful smile.

“So are you,” Remus says, and knows he means it honestly. He catches a small blush rise on Sirius’s face. Before he can pull away or process what is going on, Sirius has taken his hand and kissed the top of it. He smiles at Remus gently before leaving. Remus stands still in the doorway between the two rooms, eyes fixated on the place Sirius was standing in a minute ago. He closes his eyes and leans against the doorframe. His heart was pounding so hard he could feel the blood rush in his ears. 

He hears Marlene’s words from earlier echo in his mind. 

Let yourself live a little, Remus.

Oh god, James would kill him if he didn’t chase after this man, wouldn’t he? More likely, Remus knew he would kill himself by wondering ‘what if’. Remus wasn’t great with things ending without answers. He hadn’t been since he was thirteen and his parents had been radio silent on why they had divorced. All the signs he had missed that night. That kiss had too many questions and very little answers…

He feels his chest heave in the way it would when he tried to cry. His body started shaking and he could feel his heart screaming inside his chest in a way he had never felt it yell. 

“Fine, fine, okay?” He speaks to no one in particular, feeling his limbs continuing to tremble. “I’ll go.”

***

Regulus wakes up to the sun streaming through the curtains and smiles. He was finally starting to get adjusted to the time change. He feels his phone buzz.

“Hi Sirius, so you’ve finally decided to give your brother a call,” Regulus responds with a snark with no real malice to it. He had been trying to reach him for almost twenty-four hours and had yet to receive a response. It was unlike Sirius to be this quiet over messages. Regulus was starting to worry he was upset at him for leaving like that. He was waiting for Sirius to clap back when a different voice responded.

“Where am I finding you?” Regulus shoots up in bed, sobering up immediately. 

“Barty?”

“Is it alright that I’m calling you?”

“I guess…how are you?” Regulus asks before mentally smacking himself. 

“Could we start with a less complicated question?” The familiar voice asks and Regulus hears himself laugh, but it sounded nervous to himself.

“What’s wrong?”

“How long are you going to be there?” Barty asks, not answering his question.

“About two weeks. Why?” Regulus asks, worried that something must have gone wrong at the chronicle. He had felt a petty kind of pleasure when he had read Barty’s name as one of the people being stuck at work over Christmas. 

“I guess I can wait, but I was having some real problems with this section of my book. I could use some Regulus magic.” Regulus looks at the ceiling, all of the energy he had felt when he had woken up instantly sucked out of him. Of course it was about the book. That had been Barty’s little passion project when they had been together. Regulus had convinced him to start writing his ideas on paper, and now he was cursing his old self for still feeling like he had an obligation to bring his ex-lover's vision to life. 

“I mean, if you need me…” Regulus lets his voice trail off while he starts mentally kicking himself for still being so incredibly pathetic. He could see Sirius’s eye roll and hear Pandora’s disappointed sigh from across the pond. 

“You know you’re my little survival kit. Now, love, I want you to have some fun today. Go see the sights! You’re only in L.A. once.” Regulus lies back down.

“Mhmm, I’ll do my best.” Maybe a few more hours of sleep couldn’t hurt…

***

Sirius didn’t know what he expected when he pulled up at the all too familiar building that night. Remus had made it very clear that morning that he didn’t want anything from this, but as he opened the dark wooden door and slipped within the room that had started becoming more recognizable than his own bedroom walls, he felt his heart rate rise in anticipation. He looked around scanning tables and faces, looking for the beautiful man he had held in his arms the night previously. 

He didn’t know why he was so hopeful in his gut. Remus had said that last night hadn’t meant anything, and maybe he was right. Maybe it shouldn’t. Yet those words in the kitchen still couldn't erase from Sirius’s memory the feeling of the other man’s touch on his body. The images that flashed through his brain of the soft scars that had littered his skin were all consuming. 

“Car accident,” Remus had said breathlessly, when Sirius had run his fingers across them. “I was four. They said they wouldn’t grow with me, but well, here we are.” He chuckled and Sirius had seen the nervousness in his eyes.

“Remus, they’re beautiful.” Sirius had said softly, watching something shift in his eyes.

“You don’t have to say that. I know they’re…”

"I’m not,” Sirius had said honestly. They were beautiful to him. Then Remus had kissed him. It was less hungry than the previous kisses they had shared, but the longing was there. There was an innate need, one that Sirius himself had understood. He had wanted to be seen by someone else like this as well. He wanted someone to look at Sirius and not tell him he was beautiful. Sure, he had heard that a thousand times before, but he wanted someone to mean it. He wanted someone to truly think he was worth that effort. He wanted him to tell him that he was doing the best he could, and that was enough. He wanted someone to say that he was good. Which was strange, and very submissive of him, he’d be the first to admit. 

His entire life he’d been saddled by his last name, which had only brought misery for him and his brother. His inherited money that he knew had been soiled in the blood of others… the memories of the people who had held it previously haunted him. 

Yet, it was that blood that continued to run through his veins. He knew he was beautiful with his high cheekbones, and glassy gray eyes that struck anyone who glanced his way. His black curly hair was annoying on some days, but seemed to draw more people into his orbit. His looks always caused people to do a double take - yet he wanted more. He wanted someone to see him for more than that. 

The aesthetics of Sirius Black always preceded the love of the person. Some people only wanted the prior, and he had convinced himself he had grown used to it. Thus far, he had never been successful with finding someone to look beneath the layers. Or maybe it was like Regulus had said, he had never let anyone try. Sirius had never trusted anyone with that privilege - and hadn’t found someone worth the risk of opening his heart for. After watching the situation Regulus was in, he was sure he had been scared off of love forever. 

Then Remus waltzed into his life. Within a mere twenty-four hours he had turned his world upside down. Tonks had raised their eyebrows when Sirius said he was going out to the pub later.

“Am I on babysitting duty again?" They had asked, eyebrows raised. 

“Yes, but I promise I won’t be getting wasted tonight.” They scoffed, but then paused. 

“Do we want to elaborate on why at this time?”

“Not necessarily. I don’t know if he’s coming tonight, and if he is, then we’ll talk, alright?”

“ He is coming tonight?” They had emphasized with a turn of their head and Sirius had known then that they had noticed what he had tried to slip in there. Their surprise was evident, paired with a grin they must have stolen from their mother. He would know it anywhere as the mischievous Black grin that had littered his face when he was younger. He missed those carefree days of troublemaking sometimes.

“I said I’ll explain later.” They had sighed dramatically, another Black quality, and looked back over their shoulder.

“Fine, but you better explain later why you are expecting someone tonight.”

Alice and Frank had been overjoyed to hear Sirius had invited someone to their weekly meetings at the pub.

“You haven’t invited anyone since James Potter back in uni!” Alice had squealed.

“Well yes, but this is certainly not Prongsie boy,” Sirius chuckled. 

“Oh my god, you sound so smitten already. Who is this man?”

“I… I’m not smitten, I’m just-“

“-Blushing right now,” She said with a knowing tone. Sirius looked in the mirror in his office and groaned. His cheeks had indeed been coated in a sheet of pink. 

“Shit.” He sighed and Alice laughed. 

“How did you meet?” She asked as Sirius pulled on his coat.

“He’s staying at my brother’s place for the holiday. He said he was feeling lonely and isolated without his friends. I thought he could enjoy some company, and what better company than you two?” He began winding his scarf around his neck.

“Oh my god…you really are smitten.” He heard Frank laugh on the other line.

“What do you mean?” He paused, shifting so he could still hear them.

“Sirius, I don’t think you realize this. But you don’t share anything with anyone. Whether it be your friends, your brother or your… private life shall we call them,” Alice said and Sirius straightened instantly. “Which I assume he does not know about.”

“No he does not,” Sirius could hear the sternness of his tone and she sighed.

“If it gets serious, you need to tell him.” Sirius snorted slightly at this.

“Alright, I will, but I doubt it will get to that point. He… he made it clear he doesn’t want that.”

“Well, what do you want then?” He ran his fingers through his hair at her question and grimaced to himself.

“I invited him to the pub, which you are emphasizing I don’t do. I combed my hair no less than three times, changed my shirt five times, and checked the time about ten.”

“Oh, you really don’t want to be casual do you?” Alice laughed at Frank’s comment.

“No. I don’t… I don’t think so… he’s so incredibly beautiful. He has a wonderful sense of humor and… Oh shit . This is fucking terrifying.” 

“About damn time.” He heard Frank call in the background. 

“I… but I think he doesn't want anything like that. Last night, he said no feelings. And this morning he said he wasn’t going to fall in love with me.” He heard Frank hiss on the other line.

“Well, we’ll find out if he actually means that tonight, won’t we? We’re about to head out. We’ll meet you there,” Alice said with a hopefulness in her tone, mirroring the butterflies in his own stomach.

“And if he doesn’t show?” Sirius asked, voicing a fear at the back of his head. 

“Well then, we get you absolutely smashed, and you crash at ours. Sound like a plan?” Sirius had laughed and agreed. 

He had sincerely hoped when he had arrived here that the latter option wouldn’t be needed, but as he weaved his way through the tables in the crowded small town pub, he realized that choice may be the only one.

“There’s our star!” Sirius turns his head to see Alice and runs over to hug her.

“Hey, I thought you were bringing a smoking hot date,” Frank says with raised eyebrows, clasping a hand on his shoulder.

“I… I said I may be. I said I didn’t know if he’d show, and I don’t think he’s…” He scans the people in the pub once more. His eyes landed on someone that had been blocked by a support beam when Sirius came in. He was wearing a nice red jumper that brought out the honey undertones in his eyes, the soft flush of his cheeks under the warmth of the pub and the freckles that littered his cheeks. God, those freckles…

Remus smiles and raises his hand slightly in a wave. Sirius lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he'd been holding in relief. “Over there,” He finishes his sentence and gestures Remus over. Remus grins, weaving his way through people. 

“Sorry, I didn’t know which of these people were your friends,” He admits with a sheepish grin. 

“It’s alright. I’m just glad you’re here.” Remus leans down towards Sirius’s ear and Sirius feels his insides scream.

“Well, I did say that a vacation was for vacating myself,” He whispers in his ear. “I’m up for a little adventure, aren’t you?” Sirius feels his face flush and Frank laughs from his side.

“Frank Longbottom, and this is my wife Alice. It’s nice to finally meet the man of the hour.” Then it was Remus’s turn to blush. Sirius wants to melt into the floorboards.

“Remus Lupin, nice to meet you both,” He responds with a professional smile.

“And you as well. Do take a seat,” Alice says with a blinding smile. He takes the seat next to Sirius’s effortlessly. Almost naturally… like he belonged in Sirius’s space.

“So, drinks?” Sirius asks and he hears Remus chuckle besides him.

“That kind of night?” He asks and Sirius can hear the undertones in his voice.

“Actually no,” He turns to look at Remus, letting himself be bold for a moment. “I may have my attention elsewhere for the moment.” He watches a small smile creep on Remus’s face, before a cough interrupts their little moment.

“So, wine?” Frank asks and Sirius sees Alice looking at him with a grin that he knew meant he was getting hell later. 

“Wine sounds perfect,” Remus agrees next to him. 

As the night continues, he notices Remus tapping the wooden tabletop with his fingers. He recognized the anxious habit as a similar one that his old roommate James had back in university. Before fully processing what he was doing, he gently slips his hand over Remus's to steady it. It was something he had done in a friendly way to James, but he was like family, so of course he didn’t mind the gesture. Sirius quickly realizes how this could be misinterpreted as he watches the man next to him take a sharp inhale. Sirius quickly pulls his hand away, afraid he crossed a line or a boundary he hadn’t intended too. 

Remus’s smile slowly returns to his face and he puts his hand flat on the table with his palm upwards, fingers moving. Sirius can’t keep the smile off his face at the offering and slowly intertwines his fingers with the man next to him. He squeezes once, and feels Remus squeeze back. 

Serious, huh?  Sirius looks up at Remus’s face, who was trying to hide his sheepish grin behind his menu. I think I could do serious with Remus Lupin.

Chapter Text

Regulus feels like he blacked out most of that day. He must’ve been tossing and turning in his bed until around noon when he’s able to force himself up for necessities like a shower and food. He swears, the sun in Los Angeles was way too bright. He didn’t know how Remus and James could stand it.

“Well hello there!” James calls happily from his car, top pulled down like it had been when they had first met. Regulus felt a smug hint of satisfaction at the fact he was the one sliding into the passenger side. “How’d you sleep?” The other boy asks cheerfully.

“It was great until I got a call from someone I’ve been trying to avoid,” Regulus grumbles.

“Oh, I see.” Regulus looks over and watches the kind hazel eyes soften behind James’s glasses. Regulus instantly is reminded of something Sirius said when he had finally escaped that house that still haunted their every waking moment. It was Regulus’s senior year of college, the day after he had graduated. His parents were supposed to pick him up early the next morning. He had called Sirius crying. He told him he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t keep doing this to himself. He couldn’t keep doing this without him. 

Sirius had driven the whole way there in a brutal rainstorm. They were driving back to Sirius’s temporary flat when they stopped at a stoplight. Sirius had looked over at Regulus who was shivering, the rain had soaked him to the bone as he had waited for Sirius. Regulus casted a quick look behind him, taking stock of all the wet boxes behind him of the entire dorm he had packed up. Signs of a life he had finally put behind him.

 Sirius said in that gentle tone of his that would make anyone listen, “Look, I know you don’t think I know how you feel right now, but I do. I know you’re terrified right now, so was I. It’s so difficult to finally say enough is enough, and I’m so fucking proud of you.” Regulus had cried a little harder at that one. Sirius had taken one of his warm dry hands in Regulus’s damp cold ones and squeezed it tightly. Squeezed it three times… 

“It’s going to be hard, okay? Getting out of the mindset they beat into us. It’s going to be difficult and… I would argue the hardest thing I’ve had to learn is that sometimes the world isn’t out to get you. That there are people on this earth who do care. That some of them will take their time out of their day to check on you. There are people in this world who will throw a warm blanket around the random stranger who showed up shivering on their doorstep.” Sirius, he knew, had figured that one out from experience. He had broken out of their parent’s clutches earlier than Regulus had. He ran away, scraping up some money to go to his university roommate’s hotel room that he was staying in with his parents. He told Regulus that he was shaking and sobbing when he had opened the door, just as Reggie had been doing when he had picked him up around the corner from his dorm. He had made sure they were away from any cameras that could see him. They weren’t taking any chances with this escape.

James must’ve been one of those people Sirius talked about. The ones who grabbed some man who had arrived on a plane yesterday and decided that he was going to cheer him up. 

“Are you sure your dad won’t mind our little excursion?” Regulus found him asking as they re-entered the part of town Regulus recognized. 

“Mind?” James asks, before turning down another street. Regulus looks out at the view and sighs with content. It was beautiful in its own way. Not snowing in an idyllic British village kind of beautiful, but, Regulus would argue, even better. 

“That we ditched him and got ice cream?” Regulus sucks the remnants of his vanilla ice cream off of one of his fingers. He catches James stare at him for a moment with an almost blank look in his eyes. Regulus looks back at him in confusion. James swallows hard before he quickly turns his head to focus back at the street. Regulus tries not to think about it too hard, but his mind was already racing for an explanation.

“I wouldn’t worry about that. I sent him a text before I left your house. He told us to grab him a quart of some vanilla, which is in the bag at your feet.” He gestures to the bag next to Regulus that he had been wondering about for the past fifteen minutes. 

“I see, is that why you ran back into the store?” Regulus asks curiously.

“Yeah. I also forgot napkins.” He passes Regulus one and points to his own cheek “You got some dripping right there.” Regulus quickly looks in the side mirror and rubs his face. Oh god, that’s embarrassing. He didn’t know how he didn’t notice the sticky substance making its way down his cheek. Well he did, if he was being honest. He had been too busy staring at James Potter to even recognize that he had missed with his lick. Beautiful, sweet, kind hearted, and unavailable James Potter. 

Regulus keeps his gaze out at the blue water, reflecting back the beams of the sun and lets his gloom from earlier start to fade with every brush of the breeze. He closes his eyes and lets the sun hit his face, filling him with a kind of soft warmth.

“I’m so used to the snow this time of year… It’s so strange to not only see the sun, but feel it too. We don’t really get that over in England.” James chuckles and Regulus feels himself smile. 

“I understand what you mean. I went to university over there.” They turn and his view of the ocean is sadly obstructed. 

“Oh, did you? Where did you go?” Regulus asks, turning to resume looking at a much more preferable view to the shoreline.

“Cambridge,” James says, sounding slightly embarrassed. 

“What?” Regulus’s eyebrows raise in surprise.

“Yeah, I know,” He runs a hand through his hair and Regulus fights the urge to run his fingers through his hair. “Wouldn’t have guessed that, huh?

“No, I’m not surprised. Well I am, but. You seem like the kind who would get in and thrive there.” Regulus watches as a soft blush begins to coat the other man's cheeks.

“ Oh ,” He says, sounding pleasantly surprised. “Thank you.”

“I was only surprised because... well, my brother went to uni there.” 

“Really, you didn’t follow him?” James turns the wheel and Regulus follows his hands. He finds himself subtly studying the way his fingers gripped the wheel. It was effortless, but firm. Regulus wonders for a moment if those fingers could do other things...

“No,” Regulus feels his own cheeks start to heat up, but he isn’t sure if it’s from the heat or the proximity to James.

“Where did you go then?” He asks.

“Oxford,” Regulus mumbles and James bursts out laughing. 

“Cambridge and Oxford. What a pair.” He chuckles and looks over at Regulus once they reach a stop sign. His laugh, oh Regulus could fill the rest of his broken down black book with poetry about that laugh. Or his eyes. Or his hands. Or his co-

“Oh shut up, he will never let me live it down,” Regulus says, snapping himself out of it. "Oxford was the better school for writing and literature.” 

“That it is,” James agrees. They pull into an unfamiliar drive and James plugs in the code. The gate buzzes and swings open. They roll up the drive and Regulus looks around as quickly as he can, taking everything in. “Welcome to Potter abode!” James says happily and stops the car. He gives Regulus some time to take it all in. It was a bit smaller than Remus’s house, but that wasn’t saying much. He was right in his original message to Regulus. A lot of things were smaller than Remus’s house. He sees a pool bubbling in the backyard and a swingset off to the side. James leans over and grabs the bag holding the ice cream for his dad before getting out. 

“Do you have any siblings?” Regulus asks James. He follows behind him, making sure to leave some space between them. He hoped the distance would help calm down the sweating in his palms. Unfortunately, it was not. Regulus subtly wipes them on his pants.

“Oh no,” James says with a laugh. “I was a miracle baby. My parents had me a bit later in life. Also, I think I was enough of a pain in their ass for them. Though we have practically adopted some of my friends, and all but with my college roommate.” They pause at the door. “Why do you ask?”

“I saw a swingset in the backyard that appeared to be in good shape and I didn’t think you had any kids.” James laughs again. 

“Oh I don’t. Definitely not at that point in life yet. It’s there because I got it for them as a gag gift a few years back when I moved out to my own place. They installed it though and took great care of it. My friends and I have definitely used it when my parents hosted dinners for us. Marlene and Remus have talked about reinforcing it so Lily doesn’t almost go flying into the pool and uproot the entire thing like last time.” Regulus snorts and James knocks on the door. 

The door swings open to an older man with James’s eyes, and an almost identical version of James’s smile.

“James!” He exclaimed happily and James quickly jumped into his arms. Yep, definitely not his parents. His mother would’ve been horrified if he had done that. And his father… well he tried not to even consider the thought. 

“And this must be Regulus,” The man continues.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” Regulus says, sticking out his hand to shake. The man ignores it to give him a big hug and Regulus tenses for a moment in surprise before hugging back.

“Oh please, call me Monty. Everyone does,” He says and Regulus nods.

“Alright,” Regulus agrees as the older man invites them into the home.

It was a comfortable looking place. It definitely was what Regulus would picture when someone said the word ‘childhood home’. The walls were practically completely covered with pictures. Regulus would think it was a shrine if he didn’t know better. He allows himself to look at them as Monty and James rush into the kitchen to keep the ice cream from melting further.

There was a young James at the piano with a wide grin on his face, and smaller version of his glasses. He must’ve stuck with that style. Then there was a picture of a woman with James’s messy dark hair holding a baby in her arms. That must’ve been his mom. 

She looked so happy holding him… It hollowly sinks into the pit of Regulus’s stomach as he continues looking around. The closer he gets to the kitchen, the more recent the pictures would become. He pauses and sees a picture of the three of them. It must’ve been when James graduated. He was beaming with the robes Regulus himself had recognized from when he had snuck into his brother’s graduation. He wonders to himself if he had heard James’s name announced and never realized. He was too busy hoping his parents wouldn’t realize where he was, so it wouldn’t have surprised him. He had tuned out by the time they had gotten to C and he had gotten to watch Sirius walk across and get his diploma.

He continued to look at the smiles on all of their faces. His parents… they looked so proud… Sirius had begged Alice to grab a picture of them at Regulus’s graduation. That was the closest thing he had to a memory that resembled this. Not saying that memory was a bad thing. He loved his brother with all his heart. He was so grateful for all Sirius had done for him. He didn't know what he’d do without him, but that didn’t mean he didn’t wish he had a Mum or Dad like that as well. It didn’t mean he didn’t wish he had parents who were grinning as widely as their kid with tears in their eyes as he looked like he was practically jumping for joy.

“Are you alright?” He turned towards the sound of the voice. Regulus quickly tries to blink away the mist in his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to look here,” Regulus admits, feeling like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t have.

“It’s alright, they are displayed for a reason. My wife started it. We’re proud of our boy and his accomplishments.” Regulus smiles bittersweetly.

“You should be. I’ve known him for barely twenty four hours and I can already tell he’s one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met.” Regulus quickly wipes some of his tears away. “It’s only that...” He looks back at the picture in front of him. “I wish I could’ve had parents who loved me like that.” He squeezes his eyes closed tightly. He feels a firm hand squeeze his shoulder. 

“I see,” Monty says softly. “I also wish you had. I’ve known you for ten minutes and I can already tell you’re worthy of all the love the world has to offer.”

“How do you know that?” Regulus asks, recognizing the choke in his voice.

“Call it fatherly instinct.” Regulus chuckles, smiling despite himself. Same sense of humor too. “Do you want a hug?”

“That… that might be nice,” Regulus admits. He turns around and Monty hugs him tightly. Regulus holds on. He looks up afterwards to see James leaning in the doorframe. He was holding a bowl with a soft sad smile. It takes Regulus a moment to realize it’s vanilla ice cream. He extends it out to Regulus, the gentle smile not leaving his lips.

“Stay for dinner?” James asks softly. Regulus takes a shaky breath in. He nods, carefully taking the bowl from his hands.

“I’d love to.”

***

Alright, James had to admit it. Nothing compared to his parent’s cooking. His friends had called him the culinary expert, but he didn’t know how his parents did it. Of course, he still missed his mother’s meals, but his dad’s were the next best. It was still better than most of the restaurants in L.A. When he had told Regulus to give L.A. a chance, he hadn’t exactly menat the food in that regard.

“So, is Monty a nickname or your name?” Regulus asks. James finds himself studying the other man’s profile. It was distinct, that was for sure. One that if James was an artist, he’d love to paint. Unfortunately, he was a mere musician and all he could hear in his head were the whispers of melodies. He heard ones with long violins and a floating harp… which surprised James a bit more than he’d like to admit. Usually when he wrote pieces for his friends he used a keyboard and some upbeat drum kicks, but with Regulus there was some longing to it. Some yearning kind of feeling… Nope. He wasn’t going to think about that right now.

“Short for Fleamont, actually,” His dad says with a small smile. 

“My mom’s name was Euphemia, everyone called her ‘Effie’,” James adds, stuffing more of his dad’s mashed potatoes in his mouth.

“So how did you end up with the name James?” Regulus asks a flicker of interest behind his bright blue eyes.

“Euphemia’s father’s name,” His dad says with a nostalgic smile. 

“Ah, I see. Well, as someone with a unique name myself, I can sympathize with wanting a nickname. That’s why my brother calls me Reggie.”

“Really, what’s your full name?” His dad asks curiously.

“Promise not to laugh?” Regulus grimaces. 

“I’ll try,” James admits honestly.

“Alright, good enough I suppose,” He takes a deep breath. “My full name is Regulus Articulus Black.” James blinks for a moment as Monty chuckles.

“Sounds like James’s old roommate,” He says, eyeing James over his glass. James can almost hear the soft click of two puzzle pieces being connected.

“Wait, no. That’s not possible.” He looks over at Regulus and starts to see the resemblance. “Sirius’s last name was Black.”

“You know Sirius?” Regulus asks in surprise.

“Yeah, Sirius Black was my college roommate.”

“No he wasn’t!” Regulus says in surprise as his dad laughs. “That’s mad!"

“Well this certainly is some meet cute, isn’t it?” 

“Meet cute?” Regulus asks his dad, and tilts his head slightly. James tries not to laugh, looking at the family resemblance. Sirius used to do that when he was slightly confused. He wonders how he could’ve possibly missed it before. Maybe because he didn’t exactly want to associate this stranger with a man who was practically his brother. He didn’t want to think about why.

“It’s how two characters meet in a movie,” His dad begins to explain. “Say person one and person two walk into a pajama department. Person one says to the salesperson, I just need a top. Meanwhile, person two says I just need a bottom. They look at each other - and bang, that’s the meet cute.” James smiles at his father’s enthusiasm. He always got like this when he was talking about movies.

“Well, if we’re talking about the first meeting being the meet cute, then I have to tell you that it was earlier. Unfortunately, our meet cute was when I was groggily trying to figure out how to open the gate, and swore profusely in the process."

“And loudly,” James adds with a small snicker.

“And then I proceeded to ramble apologies until I got an eyelash in my eye that James helpfully fished out for me.”

“Oh, did he now?” His dad turns his attention to him and James quickly takes an extra sip of his water.

“What time is it in England? I think I should give Sirius a call,” He says, trying to make an excuse to get out from under his father’s prying eyes.

“Early in the morning, but Sirius is an insomniac. He may pick up.” That’s all the prompting James needs to spring out of his chair, away from the knowing eyes of his father and to pull out his phone. He clicks on Sirius’s contact and walks away.

“Hello?” A very groggy Sirius picks up.

“Why didn’t you tell me your brother was coming to L.A.?” James demands, although he does feel a bit bad for waking Sirius up.

“Cause I didn’t really know either?” Sirius replies a little less groggy now.

“Well, warning would’ve been nice before he moved in next door! I would’ve brought him a housewarming gift,” James huffs, walking a bit further from the door for more privacy.

“Wait… next door?” Sirius says, sounding a bit more awake now. 

“Yeah, why?” He hears some rustling of covers and another voice groan. James’s eyes widen in surprise. Did Sirius have someone over? He couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. He had heard that Sirius had been doing some sleeping around recently, he had admitted thus himself. But he was surprised that someone was in his bed. That meant they had to know about the secret he had been keeping from every other hookup he had ever had. “Shh, I’ll be back soon, alright?” He hears Sirius say gently and the sound of a kiss. The grumbling turns into a contented sigh as the rustling fades. After a few moments, there is a click of a door shutting. James launches straight  back into it.

“Who the hell was that ?” James asks, jaw slacked. He had never heard Sirius sound that gentle with anyone except his kids.

“That’s what I was about to talk to you about. Please tell me Remus isn’t dating anyone.” He blinks in surprise at the desperation in Sirius’s tone.

“Remus? As in Remus Lupin ? No he dumped that asshole a few days ago before getting on a plane to…” He gasps in realization. “Oh my god, you’re sleeping with him! Sirius!”

“Shut the fuck up,” Sirius hisses. “I am not ! I mean - I did yesterday, but he’s kind of unconscious right now. He begged me to stay, Prongs. I couldn’t leave - he has fucking gorgeous puppy dog eyes!” 

“You fucked my best friend?!” James hisses, hoping Regulus and his father can’t hear him in the next room. “Padfoot, that is completely breaking bro code!"

“Look, I didn’t know he was your best friend, alright? How did you not know he was my brother? My entire family is named for stars! How did you not recognize Regulus?”

“I wasn’t looking for that! All I saw was a pretty guy living in my best friend’s house for two weeks.”

“Pretty boy? James Fleamont Potter, ” Sirius practically growls and James backs up on instinct in response. He knew Sirius wasn’t there and couldn’t actually hurt him, but that tone had thrown him into fight or flight mode immediately.

“Look, like you can talk. I won’t do anything. I have a girlfriend. Your brother is at no risk. You on the other hand are definitely doing something.”

“Look, don’t tell Reggie, okay? He’ll kick my ass if he knows I fucked your best friend in his bed.” James grimaces, before considering.

“In his bed?! Wait - fucked as in…Remus bottomed? Well that’s a first.” He hears Sirius take in a big breath.

“He doesn’t normally?” Sirius asks breathlessly and James wonders if he should be talking about his best friend like this.

“No, why?”

“Oh my god he really is my dream man. What the fuck is this bullshit?” Sirius bemoans and James’s confusion deepens.

“Dream man, whoa, slow down. What the fuck happened? Well I know fuck happened but."

“He… we basically went on a double date tonight with the Longbottoms and… he’s beautiful, James. I don’t know what to do with myself when he’s around, because he’s so gorgeous it hurts and… you know my situation. You know he lives across an ocean from me. Hell, you barely get to see me once a year, and you know I can’t leave my home alone. Tonks is responsible, but I would never do that to them for extended periods of time. It would never work out with us.”

“It sounds like you’re trying to talk yourself out of falling for him.” He hears Sirius sigh.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Sirius, I love you. It was that obvious when you told him you’d be right back in your ‘ I love you so much ’ voice.”

“Oh god, don’t say the love word, I might vomit. I’ve known him for barely two days, James.”

“And I will remind you something my mother always told us. The heart wants what it wants, Pads. As much as it worries me that you’ve fallen for Remus, knowing that the only person I know who is more stubborn than you is him, I also know how unhappy Remus has been recently. If some of that Sirius Black charm can help cheer him up, then who am I to judge? He seemed pretty happy once you comforted him.” Sirius sighs.

“So you’re not angry at me?”

“No, but Regulus definitely will be once he learns you two hooked up at his house. Maybe don’t mention his bed. Let him think it was on his couch when he finds out - because if things between you two progress any further than this, then he will find out.” He hears Sirius groan.

“Prongs, I’m in deep. I’m in so deep. How do I get out of this?" He hears Sirius say with a real tinge of despair in his voice.

“I mean, I could give you advice with that. But, let's be honest here mate. Do you really want to?” He hears silence on the other end of the phone before a deep sigh.

“No,” Sirius says softly and James smirks.

“Then get back to bed like you promised him and text me your plan in the morning. Love ya. Take him somewhere nice. Remus would never admit it, but he likes being pampered. He likes to be shown he matters, that someone is willing to listen and most of all that you care. Also, don’t worry about Regulus. Your brother is in good hands.”

“ Bloody hell. ” He hears Sirius mutter and James laughs.

“Sleep well! Enjoy Remus."

“Oh, I am .” James gags slightly at the image that provoked. He hears Sirius laugh before they hang up. 

He stands there for a moment in stunned silence. His college roommate who had basically become a brother to him when they were nineteen was sleeping with his best friend, neighbor and co-business owner... Well, that was an unlikely pairing, but he was surprised at how much the more that he thought about it, how brilliantly it could actually work.

“You didn’t tell me your dad was in the film business,” Regulus says when he re-emergences from the living room.

“Oh, all of us in the friend group are,” James says, proud of his friends, and very happy to be talking about something else that wouldn’t remind him of that conversation. “Dad’s our producer, which we are very thankful for.”

“ Please , you kids don’t need me anymore. You’re doing fine on your own.”

“Yes, but Remus and I needed you a lot earlier in the process.” He notices Regulus's confusion when he brings in Remus. “You see, Remus Lupin and I built this film company together. He writes the scripts, I put music to them, Lily Evans directs them, her girlfriend, Mary McDonald, does the costume design, Dorcas Meadows does hair, Marlene McKinnon, her girlfriend, does make-up. Peter Pettigrew is the camera manager. He does some of the most complicated shots. He works pretty closely with Lily and I. Remus and I usually help Lily with the casting. Sometimes Mary helps too if one of us is unavailable.”

“That’s insane. So all of you basically create the entire film together?”

“Yeah! Of course we need some help with the editing, special effects and some other logistical stuff. We bring actors in too, but we like to think people like to work with us because we try to be super fair with wages and all that contract bullshit. That’s where Dad comes in. He’s been in the business long enough and makes sure we’re not making stupid decisions unintentionally.”

“Please, you and Remus have always been business savvy. You barely need my help,” His dad says affectionately.

“That’s really cool honestly,” Regulus says, taking a sip of his water. They go back to their dinner for a moment before Regulus brings up the dreaded topic.

“Did you get through to Sirius?"

“Yeah, he was pretty tired though, so I didn’t hold onto him too long. He has bumped into Remus by the way. Told me he forgot that he was staying there.” Regulus cringes. 

“Oh god , I specifically told him that I was leaving too. He probably showed up there drunk out of his mind. Poor Remus, that must’ve been a sight.” Poor Remus was definitely not what Remus was thinking. James sighs and shrugs. 

“Well, Sirius can be charming. Since we haven’t had Remus complain to either of us yet, safe to say that it went okay.”

“I sure hope so. I’d feel awful about it if it didn't. I should call him to check in later, make sure he’s enjoying the cottage and all.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” His dad agrees. They eat once again in silence before James decides to broach a topic he knew his dad wouldn’t like.

“So the screen writers guild?” He tiptoes.

“No,” His dad deadpans and James sighs.

“Screen writers guild?” Regulus asks.

“They want to do a tribute to Dad’s work in the film industry. I think he should go, but he thinks it isn’t worth it,” James explains.

“Why not?” Regulus asks with a genuine honestly in his tone. “It seems like quite an opportunity. I mean, I don’t know much about the inner workings of the film business, but I’m sure lots of people would like to hear about your work from what you’ve already told me.”

“Would you like to walk out on a stage looking a hundred years old to an audience of seven schmucks who turned out to see you? I mean it’s very nice of them to consider me, but I’m sure it’s only because some woman in the office realized I was still alive and decided to give me the night. I’m not falling for it though. I was raised smarter than that.”

“There would be more than seven schmucks there and you know it. My entire crew would show up. I’m sure Remus would fly back too.” His dad just scoffs and waves a hand in the air.

“Please.”

“I… I know that this is me being selfish but. I would love to go with you to that event. It sounds like a once in a lifetime opportunity and well… privately I’ve always been a little bit of a film nerd. Don’t tell my brother that - he would never let me live it down - but... I would love to have the Hollywood experience before I go home. Even if just for a little while. I know it is your decision though, and I will honor whatever you decide. Yet, I can’t help but think you may regret it if you don’t. From what I’ve heard about your wife from my brother, James, and yourself - she encouraged all of you to be brave and put yourself out there. Maybe you should,” Regulus says with a genuine smile. James had never been so thankful for a few words. Regulus had never met his mother, but he had hit the nail on the head. That is exactly what she would’ve wanted for his father, and he knew both of them knew it as well. James looks across the table at his dad where he has paused to consider. 

“You believe your group will show up?” His dad asks James. He nods frantically. 

“My gang, and Regulus.” He emphasizes.

“That at least makes it eight schmucks,” Regulus adds with a grin and James can’t help but also crack a smile.

“So what do you say, Dad?” James asks.

“I say… fine. Alright. I’ll write back to them, okay?”

“YES!” James cheers, getting up from his chair and rushing over to hug Regulus “You are a miracle worker Regulus Black!"

“ Oof . Oh, don’t give me too much credit,” He can hear the quiet laugh against his chest. “Your dad is the one who agreed.”

“Yes, but you were the tipping point. I’ve been trying to get him to agree for months!” He hears his father sigh.

“James, you are making me sound ungrateful in front of guests.”

“Sorry Dad,” James says guiltily, but grins seeing the mischievous glimmer in his father’s eyes.

“Why don’t all three of us go suit shopping tomorrow? Then you can show Regulus the Christmas lights, James. I would argue that is one of the town's most quintessential experiences - and Regulus said he wanted that.” James salutes and Regulus laughs.

“That sounds wonderful,” Regulus agrees and James never thought until that moment that his heart could be this full.

Chapter Text

Small Key:

Remus

Marlene, Regulus, James - (context will help with this)

~~~

Remus couldn’t remember the last time his head had pounded like this. He woke up at noon, which was already a sign for disaster. Once again, he expected to be alone - and once again, he would be proven wrong. He walks down the stairs, instantly smacking himself on the ceiling. He rubs his forehead and groans.

“Fuckkkkk."

“Are you alright over there?” He hears a familiar voice call from the kitchen. He swings around so fast he lanky limbs knock over the same lamp Sirius had hit when they had first met.

“Oh shit,” Remus groans as he puts it back up.

“I… I’m taking that as a no?” Soon Sirius emerges from the kitchen to lean on the doorframe, an amused smirk on his face. He crosses his arms over his chest and tilts his head at Remus in a knowing manner. He had his hair tied up into a messy bun on the top of his head. There were some chunks of messy curls falling out of it, and Remus finds it more attractive then he’d like to admit. Sirius’s sleeves were rolled up and he was in the same button up from the night before. It still fit him just as well as Remus had remembered, hugging his silhouette in a way that made it difficult for Remus to pull his eyes away. He feels himself smile slightly at the sight.

“I haven’t had that much to drink in… What am I saying? I’ve never had that much to drink,” Remus admits and Sirius curls an eyebrow up. 

“Yes, I believe no one has.” Sirius smirks. Remus huffs, attempting to find something to retort, before Sirius leans down and picks something up. Remus gasps seeing a pair of his boxers in his hands.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Remus groans, covering his face in embarrassment. Sirius laughs.

“I would like to point out I had nothing to do with that,” Sirius says with a smoothness in his voice. Remus pulls his hands away just in time to watch him turn over his shoulder with a swing in his step and in his hips. Remus follows the pendulum of them. He realizes for a moment he would give anything to reach out and pull him back to him. What he wouldn’t do to wrap his arms around the other man’s waist and kiss the expanse of pale skin on his neck. Oh god, what am I doing?

“Yes, but you were there,” Remus contests, following him into the kitchen.

“I was,” Sirius acknowledges, handing him a cup of coffee. Remus instantly takes a sip of it, hoping it will numb the dull throbbing pain behind his eyes. “I wasn’t sure how you made it, but I think I remember you put-” Sirius begins to ramble.

“-You got it right,” Remus says honestly. He had no idea how Sirius had remembered how he took his coffee after watching him do it once. “I’m impressed.” He watches a small blush start to form on the other’s cheeks. Remus takes another sip of the dark liquid that couldn’t be blamed entirely for the rapid beat of his heart, but it wouldn’t stop him from acting like it was anyways. “So we didn’t… do it?” Remus quickly corrects himself. “I’m sorry for asking. It’s only that I can’t remember one thing after we got back here."

“Well, call me old fashioned darling,” Sirius drawls and Remus wants to melt right there. He didn’t think he was a sucker for pet names. He had never really seen the appeal of them in the past. He was fine with James calling him Moony, of course, but affectionate names like this were a different ballgame entirely. I mean - pet names out of this man’s mouth? Oh, Remus was a goner and he knew it. 

Sirius bites back a chuckle to himself. “But one does not have sex with men who are unconscious.” Remus almost spits out his coffee.

“Unconscious?! Oh Jesus , that must’ve been attractive,” Remus sighs looking up at the ceiling with a grimace. “Why on earth did you stay?”

“Because you asked me too,” Sirius says with this tenderness that makes Remus’s stomach flip. Remus slowly lowers his gaze back to him.

“Oh…I did, didn’t I?” He groans, trying to cover his face in embarrassment. “I… didn’t I beg at one point?” He asks, peeking through his fingers. Sirius shrugs, before taking a sip of his coffee.

“I’m sworn to secrecy,” Sirius smirks, adjusting so he’s leaning his back against the countertop. He lets his head fall back and puts his coffee back on the counter behind him. Remus watches him slowly take his hair tie out and his curls waterfall back down his back. Remus quickly wipes his lip to keep the liquid from drooling out of his mouth. He looks back up and sees Sirius raise his eyebrows at him. He tilts his head and Remus takes a deep breath in.

“Is that so?” Remus puts his coffee down next to Sirius’s. He leans forward slightly, as Sirius turns to look at him. Remus uses his height over Sirius to his advantage and watches as the other man’s eyes rise quickly to his. He puts one of his hands on the countertop on either side of Sirius’s hips.. “By who?” Remus challenges. He smirks in satisfaction upon seeing Sirius’s sharp inhale. Sirius’s mouth drops open to respond and Remus almost gives into his urges from earlier. For a moment, shutting up the man in front of him with his lips and pushing him back against the countertop was the only place he could imagine this going. 

His lust-filled haze is interrupted by the ring of a phone going off. He picks it off the counter from next to the coffee machine and hands it to Sirius.

“Teddy?” He asks and Sirius’s face changes. He sighs reluctantly..

“Sorry, I think I actually do need to take this one.” He steps outside, tossing an apologetic look over his shoulder. He closes the door behind him and Remus watches him from the window. Sirius picks up the phone and Remus watches his face turn from worry to a wide grin. He turns away from the window to walk around the garden and Remus forces himself to look away

“Tonks, Teddy, and Remus…” Remus sighs to himself taking another sip of his coffee. “You’re a busy man, Sirius Black.” He forces himself to turn his back to the window and checks his phone to see a missed call from James. He’ll call him back later, he reasoned. Remus next checks his texts and sees a few. He opens Marlene’s first.

I hear ur still in England 

How’s Sirius? ;)

Remus sighs before swiping into Regulus’s messages.

I just heard that you and my brother have met. I’m so sorry if he barged in there.

Also your neighbor James is really nice - we’re going suit shopping tomorrow with Monty. Got any places you recommend?

Also we should call soon, just to catch up.

Remus smiles and quickly texts back

Don’t worry about it. Your brother has been showing me around when he learned I was kind of isolated and on my own over here. He introduced me to Frank and Alice last night. They are both incredibly sweet.

Also - Tell James to take him to the place where we went to get suits for the “Behind the Moon” premiere. He’ll know what I mean.

And yeah - I’m totally up for a call later. What time works for you?

Then he clicks onto James’s text and almost spits out his coffee.

SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH SIRIUS?!

HE WAS MY UNI ROOMMATE!!!

I need DETAILS - STAT!

“You alright over there?” Sirius asks, waltzing back in with an effortlessness Remus could only wish to possess. Actually, he didn’t. Not as long as he could continue to watch that ease within the man across from him.

“You know James Potter?” Remus asks in confusion. Sirius freezes before laughing.

“Oh yeah. I was practically a Potter from nineteen until I graduated Uni and he moved back across the pond to make it big in L.A. with you it seems. He called me last night when he realized.”

“Oh so you told him that we were…?” Remus feels the blush rise more in his cheeks.

“He put two and two together,” Sirius admits, running his fingers through his hair and Remus smiles. James did the same thing when he was nervous... “But anyways. I have a proposal for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Remus asks, raising his eyebrows and pocketing his phone. He’d deal with his outraged best friend later. 

“Let me take you out to lunch,” Sirius says, his enchanting gray eyes looking into Remus’s echoing the challenge the latter had made earlier.

“Really? Why?” 

“Because I want to get to know you,” Sirius answers with a smile. Remus chuckles and shakes his head.

“I can’t imagine why.”

“Well then, I can give you a few reasons,” Sirius holds up his fingers as he begins to list. "One, you’re James’s friend, and any friend of James is a friend of mine. Two, you seem like someone who I’d like to get to know more about. Three, I’m running out of reasons why we shouldn’t.” Remus relents with a soft sigh.

“Alright, where too?” Sirius’s eyes light up.

“Go get dressed. I know the perfect place."

***

“So you’re a book editor?” Remus asks with a soft smile. Of all the things Remus would have pinned Sirius Black as: mysterious rockstar, god reincarnated among some of the options his mind had provided, a book editor had taken him by surprise.

“Yes I am,” Sirius confirms with a smile. Remus felt his stomach flip. You’re going home in a week.

“So you commute?” Remus asks.

“Yes, I...I may own the company at this point in time. Regulus is a large shareholder although he doesn’t talk about it much. But I like to be active in day to day proceedings. So I commute into London every once in a while for meetings and such. Though I do love training our interns, much to my fellow board member’s dismay. Except Minnie, she’s wonderful,” Remus chuckles before his words set in.

“You… you own the company?” Remus asks, even more surprised than before.

“Mhmm, Black Bound Books. Established in Britain by my family right when the Stuarts took power. That kind of old money thing,” Sirius sighs, but Remus’s eyes widen more.

“No way. Half of my library is books you’ve published!” Sirius chuckles to himself. 

“You are the first man I have ever met that knows who published his favorite books.”

“Well you actually don’t put out cookie cutter stories, so yeah, I do. A lot of them have helped inspire my own stories, actually.” He watches a small blush appear across his face.

“I’m honored. I have definitely pushed for taking a bit more risk in our publications within recent years,” Sirius admits. 

“So,” Remus puts his head on one of his hands, letting his head fall to the side. “What kind of editor are you?”

“A very mean one,” Sirius jokes and Remus rolls his eyes playfully.

“Somehow I can’t imagine that. Not from the man who says he wants to mentor the new employees of his company." He watches Sirius bite his lip to try and hide a smile. "No, what I mean is, do you give massive notes or?”

“Well, the better the writer, the less notes I have to give,” Sirius replies simply, taking a sip of his water.

“You said you were James’s roommate. Now, I know James was studying business, which is laughable seeing as he’s a composer now. Well… It has proven quite useful actually. However, you… you didn’t study that did you?”

“I did until halfway through uni when I switched to literature. It’s around the time I crashed at the Potters and my uncle anonymously donated money to me so I could afford to change my major without my parent’s support.”

“You crashed with the Potters?” Sirius pauses. 

“Yes… He hasn’t told you about that?” There is a hesitance in his voice that leads Remus to want to change the subject. There was a distance in Sirius’s eyes that immediately reeked to Remus of something that would be a sensitive subject. The last thing he wanted to do was to make the man across the table from him uncomfortable. He enjoyed watching that star shine.

“Well he talked very highly of his college roommate as a person. Said you were the most charismatic man he had ever met. Of that I can confirm, but do remember I never even knew your name.” Sirius laughs at this and nods. Remus feels his anxiety alleviate a little at the sound.

“Did you always know you wanted to be a book editor?”

“Okay, my palms are starting to sweat. I feel like I’m on a job interview,” Sirius says with a small chuckle.

“Sorry.” Remus grimaces. “I know I’m practically interrogating you. I haven’t been on a first date in a long time.” Remus rubs the back of his neck with an apology in his eyes. 

“It’s alright,” Sirius says gently and his hand finds Remus’s. Remus feels his lungs screech to a halt as his hand fits perfectly within his. Remus remembers the storybooks from his childhood in an instant. Perfect puzzle pieces, they had told him, that sometimes people would just fit together. Remus rubs his thumb along Sirius’s hand and wonders for a moment if such fairy tales could really be true.

“Well, since we’ve already had sex once and slept together twice, I think we can bend the first date rules,” Sirius says in a low tone. Remus finds himself laughing softly, looking down, having an instinct to curl away from the man’s piercing gaze. His heart practically throws itself against his ribcage. “Why are you blushing?” Sirius asks, his tone slightly teasing. 

“I am?” Remus puts his free hand on his cheek and feels the heat on it. “I guess you make me nervous,” Remus admits.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Sirius gently lifts Remus’s hand to kiss it and Remus swears for a moment that he feels the pieces of his shattered heart settle back into place. 

It was easy with him. Remus had always found dating and romance itself to be difficult. He didn’t understand how Lily and Mary and Dorcas and Marlene made it look so effortless. Lily had reminded him on multiple occasions that she was not dating men for a reason, but Sirius seemed to be an exception. Lily had told Remus once that in order for Remus to form a crush on a man - they needed to be a self-centered asshole. He thought it must’ve been the confidence that drew him in, but he had yet to learn the difference between cockiness and narcissism. 

Maybe it was the fresh air and leaving the self-absorbed atmosphere of L.A. behind him, but being with Sirius felt like breathing. Before that man had barged his way into his life, Remus hadn’t even realized he’d ever stopped. Now that he was there though, he couldn’t imagine himself ever stopping. He wanted to let himself sink into it. He was filled with this desire to allow himself to let the air within his lungs and sink up all the love Sirius could offer him. He was close to relenting. He knew all it could take was just lifting their hands and returning the kiss that Sirius had gifted him earlier. That was until his fantasy was shattered by his mind circling back to a familiar phrase. One week.

“You should,” Remus says softly, reminding both of them of something Sirius had said to Remus a few days prior. “But alright, I understand. I’m going to try to be myself. That’s not always easy for me, but I’m going to try.” He feels a squeeze of reassurance on his hand and redirects his attention from where he had been staring intensely at the table to Sirius.

“I know you are. I appreciate it, truly.” Remus feels himself blushing again and nearly groans. Sirius chuckles at his reaction. “But you were asking… about my job right? If I always knew I wanted to be an editor? I did, yes. But I didn’t really think I’d ever be able to. My Uncle Alphard owned the company while I was growing up. He knew I loved editing, and would give me small gigs off the record while I was in uni without letting my parents know. I didn’t mind it either. It was like the internship training that I give our current employees. But, with the way my parents were, I never imagined I would be the inheritor of the company. They had other grand plans for me, and the most important of them all was continuing the bloodline." He takes a deep breath before sighing. “I know the name Black means nothing to you, but it meant everything to them. They drilled into me that the Noble House of Black means you are treated like a god on earth and if you are not, you need to ensure that everyone fixes their act accordingly.” Sirius shivers slightly. His eyes were glazed slightly, as if trapped in a nightmare he had never truly been able to escape.

“So you’re nobility?” Remus asks softly and Sirius puts a hand up. 

“Used to be. Got rather promptly disinherited when I ran off to the Potters after they tried to beat me within an inch of my life. The title passed to my brother after my father’s death, but he never uses it. I think it reminds him of what they did to us. Even if I had inherited it, I wouldn’t use it either.” Remus blinks at him.

“They… they what ?” Sirius’s eyes widened.

“Oh… oh christ, sorry. I gave you no warning for that….Umm, yes. Our parents were quite abusive towards me and Regulus. I tried to keep them focused on me, but I couldn’t protect him from everything. Especially after I left… Something they were better at than trying to brainwash children, was covering up the atrocities they committed in the name of the Black legacy. When you have money and a title anything can be kept quiet if you work hard enough. I assumed once I left the family that Alphard would cut me off like the rest of them, but he didn’t. Once he heard about my switch to literature, he invited me out for drinks. He gave me summer internships and helped me prepare a space for Regulus to escape too. Of course this was all under the rug so they didn’t disinherit him as well. They died before they learned of Regulus's sexuality. Mine was figured out that summer because one of my classmates had blabbed to their parents about the fact I would give more attention to the males in my classes than the woman who was supposed to be my fiance.” Sirius grimaces and Remus squeezes his hand tightly. “Once Uncle Alphard passed away, which Regulus can confirm I did not take well, he left the company to me. I had already been working under him during my last years of college and after I graduated, so I had a reputation among my colleagues, but not the board members. There was something good about being a business major for a while. They couldn’t dupe me into doing something stupid with the company of the man that had saved me.” 

Remus runs his thumb in circles on Sirius’s hand. Sirius’s eyes look down to the motion and a small smile begins to fall across his face. “So you can tell me and Regulus had great role models for love. Probably explains why my brother is in love with a man who does not even appreciate him and of course, the frankly disastrous state of my romantic life. Alright, on that note, I believe my time is up now. Enough of my sob story, it’s your turn.” Their dishes arrive, but Remus decides he can wait a little longer before digging in. This was far more important.

“Well, I said I worked with James. We met when he was looking for a small writer who he could write music for. Lily Evans knew my name and referred it to him. We had worked on some small projects together before and grew up in the same hometown, so I did have an unfair advantage in that respect. Soon we were roommates and by the time we were twenty three we started our own movie company. Which was quite ambitious for two roommates still barely into their twenties who didn’t know yet what they were doing with their lives."

“Wait, James never told me you two owned the company,” Sirius says, pausing in his consumption of his fries.

“Yep. He handles the business side of things. Like you said, it’s good to have someone who knows what they're doing. I handle social media and more of the advertising with Mary McDonald. He does the music, and I do the script writing. So together we create the movie, and then our friends bring it to life.” 

“How did I not know you owned the company?” Sirius asks himself softly, shaking his head.

“Well, on my side - probably because I didn’t mention it on purpose. But now that I know you own the book company, I thought you’d be a little less intimidated.”

“Oh no, I’m absolutely still intimidated,” Sirius says with a laugh and Remus chuckles alongside him.

“Well a little is way ahead of the curve. I’ve been told I’m very unassuming, so when I tell people my name or my job, sometimes they almost fall off their chair.” Sirius grins. 

“I am, unfortunately for you, still on my chair. So it will take a bit more than that to shake me from it.”

“Shame,” Remus teases him with a small tsking sound. 

He allows himself a moment to let himself check out the man before him. Remus was starting to think that no matter what outfit Sirius would put on, he would always have that same ethereal beauty. It wasn’t just his looks though that was causing Remus to lean in, it was Sirius himself. He was beautiful . 

For instance, Remus appreciated Sirius taking him to an upscale restaurant with a quiet atmosphere only to laugh the loudest at his jokes. He wouldn’t even look around like Remus did to make sure no one was glaring at him. He was so effortless and carefree in a way Remus could only hope to be. As if that wasn’t enough, Remus couldn’t help but find it endearing that Sirius had ordered the burger and fries. They were at a fancy restaurant in the middle of nowhere, and he had ordered the least upscale dish on the menu. He had insisted Remus have the steak though, even with Remus’s protests of getting a burger as well. He had to admit though, now that he had it in front of him, he had forgotten how long it had been since he had a really good steak. 

“So what about your family?” Sirius asks gently.

“Well, you gave me your sob story. So, here’s mine. My parents broke up when I was thirteen years old. It was, at the very least, the defining moment of my life thus far. I’m an only child and I just didn’t… I didn’t see it coming. We were very close. We used to call ourselves the three musketeers,” He sees Sirius’s eyes soften and he offers Remus a fry. Remus takes it gratefully. “Then, one night after dinner, my parents sat me down and told me they were breaking up. Of course, I thought they were kidding. I had never seen the signs… I never saw it coming. That was until I saw a suitcase out of the corner of my eye in the hallway. My dad moved out that night… I remember hoping on my bike, my parents yelling at me to stop, but I needed to clear my head. I kept going and going… I was going way too fast to stop, and I was crying too hard to see. I fell into my neighbor’s trash on my way back home. There must’ve been a party the night before because there were tons of glass bottles. The car accident is the reason most of them are on my body, but my face got the brunt of it that night…" Remus gestures to his face. “As you, unfortunately, already know.”

“I think they're beautiful,” Sirius says softly. “I know you may not, but I do. Honestly.” He looks up and the look in Sirius’s eyes almost makes Remus get up and start running. He couldn’t remember ever being looked at with an intensity that potent in his life. Remus forces himself to stay and smiles back. His insides were screaming at him to get out there as fast as he could, but all he could focus on were those gray eyes looking right back at him. 

“Oh, thank you… but I think I cried myself to sleep for months. Then, I realized I had to toughen up, so I refused to let myself cry. I think I overcompensated because I haven’t cried since… I also haven’t thought about that packed suitcase in forever. I… I can’t believe I remember that.” Sirius takes Remus’s hand again and squeezes it reassuringly.

“You haven’t cried since you were thirteen? Really?” Sirius asks gently, with a bit of surprise behind it.

“I know!” Remus cries with a self-deprecating laugh. "It must mean something awful. James sure believes so. But I try and I try and I just… I can’t. It’s like something permanently shut off in there. Dad passed away from alcoholism a few years later, so when I said I understood you crashing that night, I did mean it. I would’ve much rather you be there than…” Remus swallows hard and he feels Sirius's grip on Remus’s hand tighten. “Mom passed away last year around the same time James’s mom did. We leaned on each other a lot that year. I… It was kind of like I lost two parental figures at once.”

“Euphemia Potter was a blessing to everyone who knew her. If I hadn’t been occupied with some matters here, I would’ve flown out in a heartbeat.” Remus feels Sirius’s leg brush his under the table and lets it small touch anchor him back down.

“Yeah… I… her and Monty were the loving parents I haven’t had since I was thirteen. My mother tried to love enough for both of us, but sometimes I felt like she was missing something being all on her own. If that makes sense?”

“Absolutely,” Sirius says and something in Remus’s heart tells him he does. Those gray eyes held something within them that was magnetic. It simply had to be, because Remus couldn’t find himself looking anywhere else. It was almost overwhelming that the kindness of this man who was a stranger only a few days ago. 

How could he be making Remus spill his soul like this? Some of his friends didn’t even know that stuff about his parents. They knew, of course, that it had something to do with him not being able to cry, but they had never pried any further. Remus feels the space between his lungs aching and he takes his hand away from Sirius’s to rub it. 

“Can we talk about you some more?” Remus asks with a slight smile.

“Yes. Absolutely. Alright. Well, I cry all the time,” Sirius says with a genuine smile, taking a bite of his burger. Remus snorts slightly.

“You do not,” Remus says in disbelief. 

“Yes I do. I cry more than James Potter does. He could tell you.” Remus chuckles and shakes his head.

“You don’t have to be this nice.”

“I happen to be telling the truth,” Sirius says with the goofiest grin and Remus could’ve sworn that the room around them had just gotten a hue brighter. “A good book, a great film, an opera, a great monologue at a play? I more than cry - I weep.” Remus laughs and watches something light up behind Sirius’s eyes. “I’m a major weeper. It’s pathetic. Strangers have made fun of me, and do you know how bad it is to have strangers make fun of you for it?” Remus nods, continuing to laugh. 

He puts his head on his hand again, looking at Sirius with a smile. He feels the battle within his heart. He knew he couldn’t be smitten. He couldn’t do that to Sirius who was so unimaginably kind to him. He couldn’t ask that of him. 

Yet. it was so difficult to make the argument to his heart. It was beating in the space between the two of them, begging for Sirius to take it within his hands and do with it what he’d like. He wanted him to tell him he’d take care of it. In the span of a few days, Sirius had completely won it over. Remus never stood a chance under the gaze of those passionate gray eyes. 

Remus sighs to himself, listening to Sirius’s excited rambles, only hoping his composure wouldn't let him shatter everything…

Chapter Text

Small Key:

Regulus

Sirius

~~~

“Hello!” James chirps happily after Regulus opens the door. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Regulus says, tucking his keys into his pocket.

“Oh wait,” James holds out a package. “This was leaning on your gate.” He checks at the label when Regulus looks at him with a confused expression. “It said your name, not Remus’s…. It’s from London, England… from your brother?” Oh… that. Regulus had nearly forgotten about that.

“Oh right, one of my friends back in England is writing a book. I give him notes sometimes. I told him he could just email it to me, but if my brother has taught me anything, editing with a pen and pencil is sometimes the easiest. He must’ve mailed it.” Regulus says, placing it next to the door. “But enough about that. We were going to see the lights, right?”

“Yeah in town. Come on then.” James opens the door for him and Regulus laughs, hopping in. 

“What a gentleman,” Regulus says as he buckles himself in.

“I pride myself upon it,” James remarks back with a grin before climbing in. 

As they begin their ride, Regulus finds himself sinking back into the seats. He couldn’t remember the last time he had let himself be this comfortable around a stranger. Well then, he supposed, James wasn’t exactly a stranger. He had been roommates with his brother, and his family had taken Sirius in without a second thought. Now Regulus himself had met that family, and Monty already treated him like a second son. 

They had gone suit shopping earlier as promised and went to the store Remus had suggested. James had grinned when Regulus had told him and remarked something about how Remus was a genius. After purchasing their suits, Regulus had fought with James to pay. 

“You’re on vacation and this is my family, let me!” James had protested.

“You’ve already done so much for me and my brother, it doesn’t matter the cost. Let me handle it.” They had continued bickering as Monty snuck the sales clerk his card. Regulus still hadn’t forgiven himself for letting that happen just yet. 

James had picked him up outside his house later that evening, insisting it was better to see the lights when the dusk had already passed. He was right, once they had arrived Regulus was immediately overwhelmed. 

“They do this every year?” Regulus asks, looking around astonished.

“Yeah, this is my favorite part of it though. It has the most in this part of town.” Regulus nods and continues looking around. He catches James looking a few times and smiles back. With the romantic atmosphere and the warm drinks James had gotten for them, Regulus had to keep reminding himself that this wasn’t a date. He’s taken, and your brother’s best friend. Don’t mess this up for him.

“So,” Regulus nudges James gently before his thoughts can get away from him again. “How did you end up as a composer? I thought Sirius’s roommate was a business major like he was.”

“He was,” James agrees, nudging Regulus affectionately back. “I graduated as one, but I was minoring in music. It was my hobby. I thought I wanted to go into business, but then I got back home and was watching my dad write scripts before he retired and all I could think of when I looked at the words was the music in my head.” James shakes his head with a chuckle. “My dad promptly told me to get my head out of my ass and write it. I tried. It took a lot of work, but the movie hadn’t hired a composer yet since it was still in the early drafts. Dad played my draft for the main theme for them and I got the gig.”

“Really? Were you scared?” Regulus asks, impressed. 

“Me? Nah,” James scoffs before laughing. “No. I was terrified actually. I wasn’t by any means a professional and it was my dad’s work. I thought I was going to screw it all up.” He sighs nostalgically. “It’s still one of my favorite scores I’ve ever written. It’s so simple, but that’s what makes it so good, you know.” Regulus nods. 

As someone who had lived with his brother for years, he had heard him complaining about something similar before. 

“The descriptions are gorgeous, but they have no meaning,” Sirius had complained over their kitchen table. “Don’t get me wrong, I love a pretty picture as much as the next person. But at least have it mean something. Something as simple as the last line of this page would have sufficed. Not three pages of it! Bloody Christ.” Regulus laughed and handed him some brandy. They were young then, and Sirius was still settling in as CEO, but he knew it was still one of Sirius’s pet peeves as an editor: lack of substance. 

"You know, before he retired my dad's last movie was through Remus and my company. Remus was having a really intense writer's block, and my dad had a script he’d been working on for years. He was planning on retiring, we said we’d produce it and Remus edited it for him. That’s my other favorite score I’ve written… It’s loosely based on my parents' marriage.” Regulus looked over at him under the lights that were shining on his face. They softened James’s already beautiful features. “Before I wrote it, I asked my mom what her favorite instrument was and my dad. They picked compatible ones: piano and harp. If you listen to it, you’ll hear it. I arranged it so they were always playing off each other, like them.”

“That’s beautiful,” Regulus says softly. “I’m sure the score reflects that.” James runs a hand through his hair, but he smiles. Regulus smiles as well watching a blush coat the other man's cheeks.

“Thanks… You know, it’s one of the only movies we’ve produced to date that wasn’t written by Remus.” He sighs and looks over at Regulus. “It’s not like we haven’t been sent other scripts. We have looked them over too, I promise. But no one can beat that man when it comes to writing. We met through Lily who is now our director. He had sent one of his scripts to her since they were childhood friends. She knew he was looking for a roommate and collaborator and I was looking for the same. Then I moved in with him to the house I live in now. Eventually he moved out and of course the house next door went on sale.” He chuckles to himself at the memory. 

“God… can you believe Remus thought his scripts were nothing special? Regulus,” He looks at Regulus and he finds himself entirely captivated by the man before him. He felt like he could tell him the sky was orange and he would’ve believed him. He would’ve believed anything that earnest out of James Potter’s mouth. “Believe me when I say his writing is magic. Those screenplays transport you without even trying. He breathes on a page and a story comes to life. Even the directions are works of art. He makes my job so easy.” Regulus laughs and James smiles. “I told him one day he should write an actual novel. It would become an instant best-seller, I’m telling you. Even if he didn’t publish under his name and bring our following into it.”

“Well if he does, I’m sure my brother would be happy to give him some tips. Who knows? He may even publish it.” James grins.

“I know Sirius would, and Remus would actually die if he got published by Black Bound Books. But I think now he would fear that he wasn’t getting it on merit.” 

“Why would he think that?” Regulus asks in confusion.

“Well him and your brother seem to be getting fairly close,” James says and Regulus can tell he's tiptoeing around something. Regulus's about to pry a bit more on that situation when he sees James’s face completely drop. 

“What… what the fuck?” He asks under his breath. Regulus follows his gaze and almost drops his cup.  

“Isn’t that..?” Regulus asks softly, almost afraid to interfere. Wrapped on a blond man’s arm, was the woman James had introduced as his girlfriend when they first met. She was laughing happily at a joke and leaned over to the man to initiate a kiss. Regulus feels his stomach drop. 

“That bitch, ” Regulus says angrily. James put his hand out over his chest to stop him from continuing forward.

“I… I’ve got this,” He says and Regulus looks back over at him. He sees a thousand different emotions behind his eyes. About a hundred of them Regulus wishes he could take away.

“Are you sure?” He asks, still feeling the anger crackling through his body.

“Yes,” James looks back over from the situation before them and attempts to crack a smile. “This is my relationship - well was apparently - and I know how Sirius is with his temper so if you are related then-“

“-Hey I’m not that bad. Sirius has overprotective big brother tendencies. Me on the other hand, well Pandora says it’s difficult to get me to actually emote like a normal person...You’ve been nothing but nice to me and you’re my friend. She hurt you - let me at least hurt her back.” James laughs slightly and shakes his head. 

“I appreciate it Reggie, but just give me a few minutes okay? Let me sort this out on my own.” Regulus is going to protest, but sees the heartbroken look on James’s face. He was right after all. It was his relationship. As much as Regulus wanted to give her a piece of his mind, he knew that would only make James feel worse. He sighs, but nods. James squeezes his shoulder before walking off in their direction. Regulus follows him with his eyes before he fades into the crowd. He slips his phone out of his pocket. He is looking up the closest ice cream stores to their location when his phone gets a text.

Hey, are you with James right now? I’ve kinda got an emergency.

He sighs heavily and looks up to see if he needs to step in with James’s situation. He sees the boy that Emmeline had come with looking between her and James in horror. 

“James I’m so sorry! I had no idea!” He hears the other boy say and Regulus grimaces. Oh so they knew each other. At least I didn’t know Evan…

He sighs but returns to his phone.

Well hello to you too brother dearest. No, how is America? No, are you not dead yet? 

In all seriousness - now isn’t really the time. 

Sirius texts back a wink and Regulus rolls his eyes.

Is James alright?

Sirius follows up and Regulus sighs.

Well… he just saw his girlfriend kiss another man. It seems like the previously mentioned man knows him. It’s kind of messy at the moment.

OH FUCK

Regulus snorts at his brother’s lack of tact. 

Is James alright?! Damn - get her good for me Reggie.

I would’ve if James hadn’t held me back.

Regulus huffs to himself and braces himself for his rant.

James has been nothing but kind to me - kind to you - kind to everyone. And this is how she repays that? Cheating on the man? What kind of PIECE OF SHIT does that?! How could she take advantage of someone like James’s trust and break his heart like that?

It takes a moment before the bubble pops up signifying Sirius is typing.

Do you understand now how I feel when you talk about Barty?

Shut the fuck up. 

Regulus huffs and looks up. It’s just him and the girl now, the boy nowhere to be seen. 

It's just them now. Let him sort this out alright? I’ll take care of it. I’m sure he’ll call you when he doesn't want to think about this. Is it urgent?

No.  

Sirius texts back a follow up immediately after.

Take care of him for me. Tell him to call me later if he needs to vent. My disastrous love life can wait. 

Alright. You know I’m here if you need to chat, alright?

Sirius thumbs up his text and Regulus sighs, knowing he may have to call Sirius himself if he wants to get an actual answer. Although they had both made large strides of progress in the past four or so years, they both were masters of repression if they needed to be. He knew Sirius definitely saw this as a much higher priority than his own drama, but that didn’t necessarily mean it was. With Sirius he could be bleeding out, but if James had stubbed his toe, he was sure he would tell Regulus to check on James first.

Regulus looks up and sees James walking over wiping at his eyes.

“Sorry… s-sorry about that, umm. I know you really wanted the Hollywood experience and you… you got it. You got the boyfriend who finds out his girlfriend is cheating on him with one of his best friends - who also didn’t know and...” James puts his face in his hands. Regulus quickly finishes his drink before he can crush the cup in his first and throws it in the garbage can.

“Hey,” Regulus gently pulls back James's hands from his face. “There’s an ice cream place on the end of this block that’s open for another half hour. I say we get that, head back to mine and raid Remus’s wine cabinet.” James chuckles through his tears.

“Honestly? That sounds great. Thanks.” Regulus squeezes his hands before letting them go.

“James, you’ve been incredibly kind to me this week. Let me repay the favor.” He nudges him gently, mimicking the push from earlier. James smiles and nods, nudging him back. Then Regulus does something he never does. He wraps his arms around James and hugs him. James freezes for a moment before hugging him back tightly. 

“Thank you,” He repeats softly and Regulus holds him even tighter. 

“Anytime.” 

Eventually they break apart and walk down the pathway towards the ice cream store James had brought Regulus to on his second day there. Regulus had insisted he pay and James hadn’t fought him on it, sadly smiling and relenting. It hadn’t quite made up for the suit incident, but… it was close enough. Time with James was enough for Regulus. For now, this was enough.

***

 “You were right,” Remus says, still recovering from a laugh. “This was a great idea.” Sirius grins like he had just won a medal.

“I am known to have a couple,” He says and Remus chuckles, shaking his head. Sirius turns the car off. He wanted to… he wanted to walk him in. Like an actual couple. Like one that would last. Remus feels his insides screaming to let him, but his logical side wins out. 

“Oh, you don’t have to walk me in…” He watches Sirius’s face drop and he feels his insides twist. "I mean it’s freezing and-“ Remus tries to recover, but Sirius shakes his head.

“-You can just say you don’t want me to come in,” Sirius chuckles with a note of self-deprecation.

“Oh no, it’s not that.” Definitely not that. I would much prefer if you came inside and I could see what you would look like on that mattress this time around. Remus quickly pushes that thought away. “It’s just that I’m still a bit jet lagged, and we were out and about today. I think I really need a nap and…” Sirius raises an eyebrow. Remus curses this man’s unearthly ability to read him. He sighs. “It’s not that.” Remus sighs, giving up completely under Sirius’s gaze.

“I figured as much,” Sirius responds knowingly.

“Sirius, I’m leaving in about a week. And… that makes this complicated and I’m… I’m not sure I can handle complicated right now. I mean I just got out of a relationship and-“

“Hey,” Sirius looks like he’s about to take Remus’s hand in his, but catches himself and pulls back. Remus bites his lip. He tries to quiet the sad feeling dipping further into his gut and starting to seep through the rest of his body. “You don’t need to explain, I get it. Alright?” Remus looks into Sirius’s eyes and he knows it’s honest. Stupid, attractive, sexy, beautiful, too unbelievably honest and good… Oh fuck it.  

Remus leans across the console and kisses Sirius. He feels Sirius freeze slightly, as if that wasn’t what they had been doing all day. He quickly pulls back and sees Sirius blink in surprise before chuckling and looking down. “And that doesn’t make things complicated?” He asks softly and Remus feels like a complete and utter idiot. He needed to get out of this car before he made things worse.

“I… sorry. I’m just proving once again why I’m not good at this, aren’t I?”

“I’m not sure if that’s what you’re proving here,” Sirius says gently and Remus looks back at him. Sirius’s eyes are kind, albeit a tad confused and sad. Stupid Sirius Black and his ability to read him.

“Even if I was proving what you think I am… I can’t. I’m sorry.” He hears Sirius sigh. 

“Alright… You are right though, it is bloody freezing,” Sirius turns the car back on with a soft laugh. Remus takes this as his cue to get out. He puts his hand on the handle and looks over his shoulder. His heart was still at war with his head as he saw Sirius’s eyes narrowing in focus, trained entirely on the wheel. 

“Before I go, is it okay if I ask James for your number?” Remus finds himself asking softly. “I… I would like to stay in contact.”

“Of course, yeah. Though - I am at work tomorrow. So I won’t be showing up and crashing at yours the rest of the week,” Sirius says with a smile, but it’s strained. 

“Well you are still welcome anytime. Even if just for dinner. I don’t cook exceptionally well, but I do feel like I owe you one for the past two days.” Sirius shrugs with a small smile.

“You don’t owe me anything, promise,” Sirius says softly. Remus knows this is what he should be hoping for - Sirius was offering a no strings resolution. This is what Remus had wanted, right? If it was, why did Remus feel like his soul was being ripped from his body? He wanted to scream and punch something all at once. He needed to get out of this car.

“Right… well then.” Remus gets out of his car, feeling like he’s dragging his limbs through the mud. He looks up at the clouds and smiles seeing the snow coming down before turning back towards the car. He rubs his hands together and makes a burr motion at Sirius. Sirius smiles, and it’s genuine this time. Remus rushes to the door and unlocks it. He pushes it ajar a bit, before turning over his shoulder. He waves and sees Sirius wave back. 

Remus enters the cottage. He leans against the door and looks at the ceiling. He pauses, not sure what he’s waiting for until the sound of gravel beneath the tires as the sound slowly begins before fades away from him. Remus lets himself slide to his knees and pull them into his chest. His chest spasms and he whimpers. And in that moment, Remus had never been more angry that he couldn’t cry. 

He slowly picks up his phone after hearing it ring again for the third time. Whoever was calling was being awfully persistent.

“Hello?” Remus asks, hearing his voice crack.

“Remus, Remus it’s bad . This is really bad!” Peter says, sounding winded and freaking out.

“What’s wrong?” Remus asks, being worried about his friend, but also feeling like he can’t feel his limbs. 

“You know that girl I went out with? Emmeline? Well it turns out that was James’s illusive girlfriend and I am totally fucked."

Chapter Text

Small Key:

James

Remus

~~~

“I always do this too.” James groans as Regulus hands him a glass of wine. James had helpfully pointed to one he thought Remus would miss the least. “Why do I always fall for the wrong person?” He takes a long sip of his wine as Regulus sits down next to him on the couch. 

“Well you didn’t know she was a bad person,” Regulus sympathizes. 

“Well I knew she wasn’t good. I’m sure Lily could tell you she had a really bad feeling about her the minute she stepped onto our set. I wanted her cast in the new movie we’ve been working on, but Lily outright refused… I should’ve trusted her intuition more. I feel like a part of me knew since my gut was never fully settled on her, you know?” Regulus nods and James takes another long sip of his drink. Regulus takes a small sip of his. “I guess my real question is - why am I attracted to a girl I know isn’t good for me?”

“Because you’re hoping you’re wrong and everytime she does something that tells you she’s no good you ignore it and every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over and you lose that argument with yourself that she’s not for you,” Regulus responds instantly. 

“Exactly,” James says and puts his wine down on the table. “And on top of that, there’s the good old standby...I can’t believe a girl like that would actually be with a guy like me.” Regulus scoffs softly at this, looking at James over the rim of his wine glass.

“I think a guy like you is a rare find,” Regulus says, relieved at how casual his voice comes out.

“I’m not, believe me. And she told me she would be in Santa Fe for Christmas. Turns out she finished filming there in two days, and has spent the rest of the time with Peter. Which means she’s been staying right here and in town and when I called her this morning before we went suit shopping, she told me 'I’m looking out my window and it’s snowing'. She was here in L.A. What did she do? Go to weather.com? That must’ve made her scream with laughter. Meanwhile, I sent her Christmas gift to Santa Fe before I picked you up for the lights. I stood in line at the post office to make sure she would get it on time,” He sighs and takes off his glasses for a moment to rub his eyes. 

“She cheated on me, and I knew there was something up for months. I’m sure there are other guys, and… Why the fuck am I still hung up on her?” Regulus pushes away the drop of his stomach and sighs knowingly. “I’m sorry,” James puts his glasses back on. “I’m a colossal loser and I’m probably ruining your night.” Regulus shakes his head.

“It’s okay, I like the company,” Regulus admits and is suprised how gentle his tone was. He only used that tone with his brother, Pandora, Barty and… oh… Fuck. 

“I… can I give you some unwanted advice?” Regulus asks, impressed that he can keep his tone that steady after that heart shattering revelation.

“Please, you are the advice columnist aren’t you?” James asks, picking up his wine glass again with a bittersweet smile. “I don’t think any of your advice would be unwelcome." Regulus chuckles to himself, raising his eyebrows and taking a sip of his drink. 

“You’d be surprised. But.. I...I know it’s hard to believe people when they say I know how you feel, but… I actually know how you feel.” He feels James’s gaze lock onto him with eyes that encourage Regulus on. James Potter was listening and it was simultaneously the most intimidated and appreciated Regulus had felt in his entire life. “I was seeing someone in London for a while. We work at the same paper together. Then I found out he was seeing this other guy, Evan, from the circulation department. Turns out he wasn’t in love with me like I thought or wanted to believe…seems I actually had it all wrong… and maybe he was also his boyfriend all along.” Regulus takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “God knows, but… I understand feeling as small and insignificant as humanly possible, and how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside of you and no matter how many bad hair decisions you make, or nights you spend venting with your brother, or drinks you share with your best friend, you still go to bed, going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could’ve gotten it so wrong. And how the hell you could think you were that happy…And sometimes you even convince yourself that he’lll see the light and show up at your door, begging on his knees for you. But, after all that - however long ‘all that’ is… you’ll go somewhere new and meet people that make you feel worthwhile again,” He looks over at James and bites his lip to keep himself from getting choked up. James gives him a small genuine smile. “And all that fuzzy stuff… those years of your life… they’ll eventually start to fade.” 

“Well fuck,” James says with a small chuckle and picks up the wine bottle from the coffee table. “I think you need more of this than I do.” Regulus nods with a small laugh and James refills both of their glasses. “So that’s how you ended up in Los Angeles for Christmas? You’re trying to get over someone?” 

“Yes. Surprisingly, this is me in good shape.” James chuckles and shakes his head. He pauses then a look of realization flashes across his eyes.

“Wait… is this the guy who sent you pages from his novel?” Regulus takes a long sip from his glass. 

“Yeah, that’s him. He ‘ needs me’ ,” Regulus says with air quotes and groans.

“So he stays in touch?” Regulus takes another sip of wine.

“All the time.” Regulus looks down at his glass, not meeting James’s eyes.

“So that makes it impossible for you to forget him. Which is great for him, but sucks for you.” Regulus nods.

“Bingo… see how far less pathetic your life is in comparison to mine?” Regulus asks with a small chuckle, finally meeting James’s eyes again. He’s surprised to see a flash of something else that he can’t pin down fly across his glance before it’s gone. 

“Okay, you know what? Let’s go,” He gets up and offers his hand to Regulus. “I’m making you some Christmas fettuccini. It’s my parent’s recipe and it’ll blow your mind. It’s almost Christmas Eve and we’re going to celebrate being young and being alive.” Regulus takes his hand and lets him pull him out. 

“James, you really are an incredible person.” James laughs and Regulus feels himself blush at how easily that came out. Maybe he should cut back on the wine...

“I know. My dad and your brother say that’s always been my problem.” He turns around and Regulus follows James into the kitchen. “I always have so much love to give, that I forget to make sure I’m giving it to the right people.”

“And I have trouble giving it to the right people,” Regulus adds, taking a seat at the island.

“Mhmm, for no fault of your own I can assure you,” James says, going through his cupboards. Regulus is confused for a moment before remembering. Right… Sirius. He knows about that stuff. Regulus swallows hard. 

“How is your dad by the way? Did he respond to the Screen Writers Guild?”

“Yes. The suit shopping and dinner last night convinced him.” James pulls out a pot and begins to fill it up with water. “He says he wants to tell the rest of our little company himself, but he hasn’t figured out how to yet.”

“He’s got time,” Regulus says and James nods in agreement, pulling out some noodles from Remus’s cabinet. “So are you going to your dad’s house for Christmas dinner?”

“Yep, that’s the plan! When I was a kid Mom and Dad used to throw these massive holiday parties. Dad’s been wanting to do that again, but his mobility is getting worse and it’s been harder since Mom died. You obviously can come if you’d like.” James flicks on the ignition of the stove and an idea flickers to life in Regulus’s mind.

“What if we throw one? We could do it here if Remus allows it. You can invite all your friends, and we’ll decorate the house like no one’s business. Your dad could cook with us, and he’d be able to attend without the pressures of being host.” James rushes over to Regulus excitedly. 

“Are you serious?” He asks, almost bouncing on his feet.

“Actually, I’m Regulus,” Regulus says with a smirk and James laughs.

“True but - That’s genius! And it could take your mind off whatever his name is. Actually don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.” Regulus laughs at James’s excitement. He watches James’s eyes light up as he laughs and a grin spreads across his features. I wanna keep doing that… I wanna bring that light to his eyes.

“You sure you won’t be overwhelmed by my friends though?” James asks carefully.

“Nah, I’ve been through enough Black dinner parties to know how to be pleasant to people I’ve never met before. Anyways, I have a feeling you won’t abandon me.”

“Never,” James says sincerely and holds Regulus’s gaze. Regulus feels his body heat up under the held glance and his stomach flips.

“Uh, James, your pot is boiling,” Regulus says, his tongue feeling out of place in his mouth. 

“Huh?” James asks, as if waking up from a dream himself. “Oh, shit!” He rushes over and Regulus laughs again. 

James empties the noodles in the pot and picks up a wooden spoon. He smiles sheepishly over his shoulder back at Regulus. Regulus leans his hand on his cheek and smiles back. He watches James’s smile widen as he turns back to his food. 

I could get used to this…

*** 

When James wakes up he groans, stiffer than he usually is after a good night’s rest. He looks around the room and quickly realizes this isn’t his bedroom. He reaches around blindly for his glasses before finding them and putting them back on his face. He looks around and notices the family photos on the wall. Remus’s house. How’d he end up here? The door leading to the kitchen opens and Regulus comes out sipping some orange juice. 

“Oh great, you’re awake! Merry Christmas Eve!” He says brightly.

“Merry Christmas Eve,” James says sleepily before rolling his shoulders. They crack and he grimaces. "Oh god, did I crash here?” James asks, embarrassed. His drunken memories were slowly returning to his mind. 

“You did, but it’s alright. I didn’t want you to walk back after it was my fault you got drunk. I did make some breakfast to make up for it though. Do you want some tea, coffee?” Regulus asks and James feels himself grin without even thinking about it.

“Coffee would be amazing, thanks.”

“Of course. Do you wanna eat it out here?” Regulus asks, gesturing to the fact James was still tucked under a blanket.

“Remus would kill me.” James says and Regulus laughs. 

“Touché.” 

He goes back into the kitchen and James watches the way he moves. It was similar to Sirius, he had to admit. It appeared both of them had this natural grace. With Regulus there wasn’t this almost supernatural charisma and magnetism, but it was an attraction James couldn’t resist. He was a bit more guarded than his brother, but it was in moments like these where he was simply walking into the kitchen, James saw the real star peaking through the clouds. He had never wanted to rise into the heavens, but James thought maybe he wouldn’t mind if it meant he got to bask in his light. 

James stretches up and opens his text to Remus.

Hey, Merry Christmas Eve!

I know it’s already almost dinner over there, but I was wondering if we could borrow your dining room and kitchen for a holiday party tomorrow night? Regulus and I will clean it up, we promise.

After a second he sees a text bubble and feels the buzz of the message arriving.

A holiday party without me? Wow, you must really be trying to make me fly back early haha. 

Yeah that’s fine. Maybe call me in for a bit? I’m alone over here and miss you all. 

James furrows his brow. Alone for Christmas? Sirius would never allow that.

Have you told Sirius you don’t have any plans? I’m sure he’d love to have you over for the holidays.

I think he knows… Look James, I really fucked up last night. I’m not sure he wants to talk to me anymore and I don’t blame him.

James looks at his phone confused. Before he gets a chance to respond, Regulus has entered again. He shuts his phone off and James zeros in on the way the light is making his blue eyes shine. It wasn’t the ethereal glow that the Christmas lights had given him the night before, but it was close to. He was convinced Regulus Black looked incredible in any lighting. This realization makes something in his stomach flip. 

“Hey, I forgot to ask how you take your coffee,” Regulus said with a grimace. 

“Oh, a lot of milk and two sugars.” Regulus nods and stops before leaving.

“Oh, right - before I forget. Sirius texted me last night. Asked if you could give him a call at some point. He said it was an emergency, but after I told him about your situation he said it wasn’t. So, I don’t know what’s going on there, and I’m kinda worried.” He leans against the doorframe and James thinks for a moment he might faint. Oh god… no. I couldn’t. I absolutely cannot. This is Sirius’s younger brother! What are you thinking?  

His mind then turns to the strange texts from Remus earlier. He sighs, knowing exactly what’s going on.

“Oh… I think I know what it is. Don’t worry about it. He’s overthinking something. I’ll give him a ring, okay?” James says, getting up and opening his phone again.

“Alright,” Regulus agrees.

“Hey Reg?" James catches his arm before he leaves. Regulus quickly turns back around and James feels the air leave his lungs. They were almost pressed together and their faces were close. Almost too close for what James’s brain had started envisioning. “I… I wanted to thank you. For last night, for making breakfast, and for putting up with my shenanigans. I know sometimes I can be a lot.” Regulus shakes his head.

“You forget I lived with my brother.”

“Yes, but Sirius has a reason for his dramatics and insecurities. I… I don’t. I had wonderful parents. I…”

“Hey,” Regulus puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles gently. “You’re allowed to doubt yourself every once in a while. It’s human. But I will tell you, that you are not burdening me. You have never once been a burden to me. You are not too much for me James Potter. I honestly doubt you could ever be too much for me.” James feels a blush spread across his face along with a grateful smile. 

“Thanks, I… I appreciate that.” 

“Anytime, now I’m gonna make that coffee for you, alright?”

“Sounds like a plan,” James agrees and slowly lets go of his arm. His fingers buzz as Regulus walks away. James swallows hard and sighs to himself before seeing a text from Remus.

Don’t worry about me though. Lily’s gunna call me in a sec.

Go focus on you right now.

Pete called. You don’t need to explain. Enjoy your Christmas. 

James sighs, thinking he’ll give him a call later anyways. For right now he had to deal with the fact his two best friends in the world probably weren’t communicating very well with each other. He’s gearing to give Remus a lecture before he calls Sirius when he sees a text from Lily. He smirks and sends a quick message back before he calls Sirius. He picks up on the second ring. 

***

“Okay, dinner’s done!” Sirius calls up the stairs before feeling his phone ringing in his pocket. James. He looks over into the living room where Tonks has paused their show.

“I gotta take this, I'll meet you in the kitchen in a bit.” They nod and call upstairs again. Sirius steps into his office and picks up the phone.

“Hey James, is everything alright with you? Regulus told me what happened.” Sirius closes the door behind him.

“Yeah… She cheated on me with Peter. Poor Pete seems to have been one of the many though,” James sighs and he can hear the sadness in his voice. “Though I do now realize why your brother is an advice columnist. Struck some sense into me in minutes.”

“He has a tendency to do that,” Sirius says with a small laugh, looking at the picture of him and Reggie at his brother’s graduation. He feels a small smile tug across his lips. 

“Now, do we want to talk about what’s happening with you? Regulus says you called it an emergency, but then backed off.” Sirius sighs and sits on his desk. 

“Damn, both of my brothers are teaming up against me already,” Sirius says with a dejected chuckle. “It’s really not a big deal though. I…He said no strings. I should’ve expected no strings.”

“Is that what Remus said he wanted?” James asks, sounding confused. 

“All but. I wanted to walk him to the door and he told me he couldn’t handle complicated. And I understand why James. I know if we worked hard enough, we could make long distance work, but he’s just getting out of a relationship and...”

“Trust me man, he was long done with that relationship before it was actually over,” James says with a bit of a bite in his voice. “Doesn’t excuse the cheating, and now I know exactly how he felt that day. We were both getting cheated on at the same time too.” James groans with a sad chuckle. “But… I know Remus. He is an expert at self-sabotage. He probably said that because he was scared because he really likes you. You just have to tell him how you feel.”

“I had been trying all day, but I think I scared him away. I took him to one of my favorite restaurants, and made sure we were in a quieter area with his headache. I took him to that river spot that we hung out at when you visited. I showed him the gardens… I even made sure to stop at that cute local bookstore because you mentioned Remus was an avid reader. I was trying to show him that so he would get the hint. Do you think I overdid it?” He hears James sigh on the other line.

“Honestly, that was super sweet of you, and I’m sure Remus appreciated it. You’ve always been the thoughtful kind, Padfoot, but did you explicitly tell him: Hi, I have feelings for you and I’d like a relationship with you?”

“…no?” James groans. 

“Pads, he’s as dense as you are. He may be seeing that as you trying to introduce him to the village since he’s a guest.”

“But James, you don’t understand. In the car I tried to insinuate what I meant - I wanted to walk him in. He kissed me, but he still wouldn’t let me.”

“Sounds like him,” James grumbles. “Always was the martyr type. Do you want me to talk to him?”

“What? No! Prongs, he’s not interested. I should let it be. I… I know I have feelings for him. I don’t think I’ve ever truly questioned that fact since the first day I met him. Falling for him has felt like jumping without a parachute. I know that there’s a chance Remus could survive the jump, but there’s an even bigger chance that I’ll hit the ground and shatter all my internal organs and… He is truly incredible, but I don’t want to ensure we can’t at least be friends. I would rather not gut myself if I don’t have to.” 

Sirius can’t hear James’s comment back over a knock on his front door. He groans and peaks his head out. 

“Tonks, can you get that?” He calls out the office door. He hears Tonks groan from the kitchen, but the sound of a chair being pushed back. Sirius steps back into his office.

“That’s Remus,” James says with an amount of certainty that makes Sirius freeze.

“No it isn’t. Why on earth would it be?”

“Because he has feelings for you too.” Before Sirius could process those words, Tonks had thrown open the door to reveal a very anxious, and now very confused, Remus Lupin. Tonks looks over their shoulder at Sirius with a mischievous grin upon seeing his face.

“Pads, I think this is for you.” 

That motherfucker.

“J-James. I’m gonna have to call you back.” He hears James cackle on the other end, but quickly hangs up his phone and fully steps out into the hallway. Before he has the chance to make another move Hope calls out from behind him.

“Who is it Dad?” Hope asks and Sirius looks behind him quickly to see her and Teddy in the hallway. He turns back to Remus feeling a heavy weight sink into his chest. He sees Remus look at them and take a deep breath.

“Dad?” Remus asks carefully, meeting his eyes. Sirius swallows hard and nods, wishing that he could sink into the floorboards and hide.

Chapter Text

Well, this was not what Remus was expecting. Well, this entire trip had not been anything like what Remus had expected. If he was being honest, he hadn’t minded too much. It had been an emotional rollercoaster, but he thought he finally had it all figured out. He could invite Sirius over for Christmas tomorrow, and apologize tonight. Then they’d figure out next steps closer to his vacation being over. He had promised Lily he would try not to self-sabotage this time. Especially when, as she had so eloquently pointed out, he had never felt this way about Benji. Not even slightly. Benji hadn’t made him want to curl up under his covers for an entire day and disappear. She was right…He had never felt this way about anyone.

However, his entire plan had gone out the window when he had knocked on the door and he hadn’t recognized the person who opened it. Immediately the person before him raises her eyebrows. He quickly catches the ‘they/them' shirt with a smaller version of the leather jacket he had seen Sirius wear in the pictures James had sent him of them back in university. They appeared to be either in late high school, or early college based on appearances alone. They had a similar facial structure to Sirius and the same pale skin with bright purple hair and deep brown eyes. The eyes threw him the most and the mischievous smirk their lips curled into he recognized immediately from the man he had been spending every waking hour thinking about.

“Pads, I think this is for you,” They say with a smirk and then he follows their gaze over to a room with a door open. Sirius was staring at him with his eyes wide and mouth dropped open in shock. 

“J-James. I’m gonna have to call you back.” Oh that little shit. James gives Lily the number and then doesn’t even tell me that they were on the phone together or-

His thoughts are interrupted by a little girl’s voice.

“Who is it Dad?” Remus feels his stomach drop. 

Oh… Oh my god he had kids. 

Remus looks at the little girl and sees her with dark brown curly hair and deep green eyes. She looked a bit like Sirius, but not as much as the one who opened the door did. Next to her stood a young boy that Remus could’ve sworn was his own. He had Remus’s messy curly hair, but it was a blonder hue than his. He had tanner skin, but he had Remus’s honey brown eyes. It was like looking in a mirror and seeing his younger self gazing back at him with awe stricken eyes. Remus feels himself breathe in deeply. 

“Dad?” He asks Sirius carefully, redirecting his eyes to him. Sirius swallows hard and nods. 

“Well,” Sirius coughs. “Padfoot if we want to get technical. I’m Uncle Padfoot to Tonks here,” They wave, the smirk from earlier having no intention of fading from their face. “They are my godchild. Hope is the only one who calls me dad because she’s officially mine,” Remus swallows hard at the name. Oh god, the universe had to be pranking him right now. Or his mother. He could almost hear her laughing. “And that’s only on special occasions,” Sirius adds with a small smile. “Usually around that house I’m Pads, like I am to Teddy.” He meets eyes again with Teddy again and smiles.

“Oh, Tonks and Teddy…” Remus says softly, realizing they were the names that he had seen on Sirius's phone. “And Hope,” He says with a gentle smile. Hope grins happily and looks between him and Sirius. 

“Are you staying for dinner?” The little boy asks and he sees Sirius look over at the boy in surprise. 

“Would you three be okay with that?” Sirius asks looking at all of them. Hope nods eagerly, and Tonks’s knowing smile grows. 

“I think that’s a good idea. Come on in,” They say and Remus steps in. He takes his shoes off carefully.

“Pads, you’re supposed to take his coat,” Hope reminds him with a giggle.

“Right, where are my manners?” Sirius says, shaking himself out of whatever shock he was feeling. Remus lets him take his coat. He watches Sirius hesitate for a moment, holding it in his hands. He knew he had dressed up slightly. He had picked a nice pair of jeans and a green sweater. He hadn’t expected anything from Sirius that night, but he had been hopeful. He hears Hope and Teddy giggling at Sirius. This seems to knock him out of another place his mind had wandered and he goes to hang it up. 

“Are we still going to have hot chocolate with our dinner?” Teddy asks. 

“Yes, of course. Now how about you get in there, and I’ll make it for you.” The two little ones nod eagerly and rush into the kitchen, still giggling from before.

“I’ve got them, Pads,” Tonks says, patting his shoulder as they pass. “I think you two have a little bit to talk about.” They look between the two of them with that same knowing smirk before walking into the kitchen and shutting the door behind them. 

“I apologize for not mentioning this earlier,” Sirius says immediately once the door is closed. Remus turns to him and sees genuine fear in his eyes. “I know I had plenty of chances but I. I don’t usually tell people about my children when I don’t know if they’ll ever see them again. And then that conversation in the car happened and I was pretty sure that you didn’t want anything like that with me, so I thought it would be better if you never knew. And then you showed up here, which you’re here , holy crap, but then I realized and I panicked and-”

“Sirius,” Remus takes his hand gently and he sees Sirius’s eyes shoot down to where their fingers are intertwined. “I… Is this okay?” Remus asks softly, suddenly not as confident with the gesture. Sirius’s eyes rise back up to meet his. He sees the same look from the car the day before. It was a look holding so much tenderness, but also with a bit of sadness lurking in the edges.

“You tell me,” Sirius says softly. Remus nods and squeezes Sirius’s hand. 

“I’m so sorry for yesterday. I… Well I had a friend kind of knock some sense into me, and I figured it would be cruel of me after everything you’ve done for me to let you spend Christmas alone. She asked James for your address. I promise I didn’t stalk you for it.” Sirius smiles with a small chuckle. 

“So… you came here to pay me back for being nice to you?” Sirius asks, looking up through his eyelashes slightly. Remus can tell he’s testing the waters and that look makes him tempted to dive straight in. He would swim the entire Atlantic Ocean if it made Sirius look at him like that.

“No…” Remus admits with a chuckle and a small blush. “A bit of this was for me as well.” Sirius’s shoulders fall in relief and he smiles to himself.

“Alright, so this is not all in my head.”

“No,” Remus says with a soft laugh. “It’s not… I am curious before we join the rest of your family. You are divorced?” Sirius shakes his head with a small laugh.

“No. God, no. I’ve been - well kinda awful at maintaining relationships,” He admits with a sad smile. “I’m a foster parent.” Remus feels his heart melt. As if I couldn’t fall for you harder, Sirius Black.

“Oh,” Remus says softly. He fights his urge to cup Sirius’s cheek in his palm.

“Yeah, I… I went on the registry after Tonks came into my custody because I wanted to prevent kids from having a childhood like mine. I had a bigger home after that point and I knew I could support another child if they came into my life. I’ve always known I wanted to be a parent and… I…I know how they feel to a certain extent. I know that deep devastation when you feel like the world has abandoned you.” Remus squeezes his hand and rubs his thumb over Sirius’s. Sirius takes a deep breath and he can see his posture relax even further. “Tonks’s parents were my cousin and her husband. Andromeda and Edward Tonks. They died in a car crash when their kid was sixteen. They weren’t of age yet and I was next of kin. This was a little before my parents died and there was no way in hell I was letting them touch them. I had barely turned twenty-four, but I was living with my brother, so they would have two parents in the household. It was a custody battle, but, my parents didn’t really care much for the first child to disgrace the Black name and didn’t want to claim the second one. They let me have custody as godparent without much of a fight. The fact my cousin's will, as we all have had to write on early in this godforsaken family, had me as their next of kin for their kid helped a bit. Then Hope came into my life last year as my first foster. I knew after a few minutes that I was going to adopt her. They say sometimes you know when someone walks into your life they're not meant to walk out of it. It was kind of like that.” Sirius looks up at Remus and smiles. “She reminded me so much of me and Regulus at that age… I wanted to give her the world.” 

“I’m sure you have,” Remus reassures him gently. Sirius swallows hard and nods. “Then Teddy came into our lives. He’s been with me for only a few months. His parents died in a similar fashion to Tonks’s. Car skidded on ice and flipped. Only difference was he was in the car and the only survivor.” Sirius grimaces sadly. “He was an emergency foster. They didn’t want him in a group home after the trauma he endured and I took him in a heartbeat. I converted my studio into his room and moved my supplies down into my office. I haven’t adopted him yet because I wanted to see how he fit in with Hope and Tonks. I wanted to make sure he felt safe first.” 

Remus bites his lip, feeling the urge bubbling up inside him to take Sirius’s face in his hands and kiss him. Kiss him until he knew how incredible he truly was. So he knew how hard Remus was falling for him. 

“Sorry,” Sirius says, interrupting Remus’s train of thought, “That…that was a lot of information to get at once I… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just…”

“Hey, you don’t need to explain. I hope you’re okay with me intruding. If you want me to go, I can fake a family emergency or something.” Sirius shakes his head. 

“No… I… I want you to stay.” He looks up at Remus and he can see hope in his eyes. “Please stay.” Before Remus can answer, Teddy peaks his head out of the kitchen door.

“Are you two coming?” He asks.

“Teddy,” Remus hears Tonks scold, but Sirius chuckles and nods. Teddy grins and ducks back into the room.

“He likes you,” Sirius says as they walk towards the kitchen. 

“Yeah?” Remus asks in surprise.

“Yeah. He doesn’t usually talk to strangers. He’s a bit shy, that one.” Remus nods at this revelation. Sirius pauses before the door and Remus can feel the hesitance radiating off of him. Remus gathers up a bit of courage and gently reaches under Sirius’s chin and turns him to look at him. He moves without any resistance and looks at Remus with eyes wide and unsure. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Remus says softly. “I promise. I can already tell they are wonderful.” Sirius nods and Remus gently lifts their still held hands to kiss the top of his. “Everything will be okay.” Remus looks back up at Sirius, hoping he hasn’t overstepped. He sees tears starting to fill in the other man's eyes and worries for a moment before Sirius smiles and squeezes his hand in response. He nods and slowly drops their hands.

“Alright, let's do this.”

***

“I can’t imagine anyone being a bigger hit with my children. Both of them begged me when I was tucking them in to have you come over tomorrow. I swear they want you to come over every night. Hope wants you to take her sledding, you should’ve never promised her that, she will remember.” Remus laughs, sliding on his coat. “Teddy wants to have you to take him to that bookstore in L.A.”

“Well, we’ll just have to find a way to make that happen won’t we,” He kisses Sirius’s forehead and watches the other man’s face light up in a blush. Remus bites back a smile. “And as much as I am honored that I was able to make your kids happy, I would like to say Mr. Napkinhead was the chief entertainment for the evening.”

“Oh god,” Sirius blushes and hides his face in his hands. “That was mortifying.” 

“Please, I thought it was cute.” Sirius freezes for a moment and looks up from his hands. 

“You… you did?”

“Yes, and if you don’t think it’s too horrible, I would love to come over tomorrow. As long as I’m not invading your Christmas plans.”

“Of course you’re not. The only plans we have are gifts in the morning, which you do not need to buy anything for, and something nice for dinner, but. You don’t have to feel obligated by any means,” Sirius rambles slightly.

“Sirius,” Remus takes his hands in his. “I want to. For two different reasons. One being, well… a bit obvious,” Remus says looking down at their intertwined fingers. Sirius blushes deeper with a small laugh. “The other being, I would like to spend more time with Teddy...” Sirius freezes and looks up at him with his mouth dropped open.

“ Remus …” He says softly, reading between the lines.

“Look, I know it would be an overseas adoption process, and it wouldn’t officially happen until he’s out of school for the year, because I don’t want to completely unroot his life, but… you said it yourself. Sometimes you know when someone walks into your life, you don’t want them to walk out of it. It’s… well I think it’s like it was for you with Hope, I… I see so much of myself in him. I… I was also in a car accident when I was young, remember? Not all the scars on my body are from glass bottles. That’s really only the ones on my face.” Sirius squeezes his hands tightly. 

“I remember…Teddy showed you his, didn’t he?” Sirius asks softly.

“Mhmm. I showed him some of mine. I told him it was okay and didn’t make him ugly. Someone wonderful taught me that.” He kisses Sirius’s forehead again, just as tenderly as before, and hears him sniffle slightly.

“Sorry, I told you I was a bit of a crier.” Sirius says with a sad laugh. “But, he’s already so attached to Hope and Tonks.”

“I’d try to ensure he would see all three of you. I’d do everything in my power to make sure of that, but I understand there are logistics and such I’d need to look into.”

“ We ,” Sirius corrects. “We can tomorrow once the kids are asleep, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Remus agrees, trying to settle down his heart at the simple idea of a we - an us . “Which does remind me, I am definitely keeping you from your bed right now. I should go.” Remus buttons up his coat. 

“Alright, only if you promise to come back tomorrow,” Sirius says and Remus can pick up on the flirting tone behind it instantly. He looks back up to meet his eyes and raises an eyebrow.

“Only if you’ll answer one important question.” Sirius nods and Remus steps closer to him with a smile. "What time?”

***

“Fuck… where the hell am I going to find mistletoe in twenty four hours?” Regulus wonders aloud to himself. He had promised James that he would find some somehow and he was running out of options. He was about to text James and ask if they could print out, color in a mistletoe, tape it above a doorway and call it a day when his phone rings.

“Hello?” Regulus asks, picking up. His stomach drops for a moment when he realizes he picked up without checking. The last time he did that it was the one person he didn’t want to talk to. The same person who had texted him an hour ago asking how he could find him and if there was a good way to reach him. He hadn’t replied.

“So are you ever coming home?” Sirius’s voice rings over the line and Regulus can almost hear his smirk.

“Sirius! Hi,” Regulus says in relief. 

“How’s it going?”

“Great,” Regulus says, deciding to fuck with him a little bit. “I met a really nice guy.”

“See! And you said you would never,” Sirius says and Regulus feels a tiny bit bad at how happy he sounds for someone who has the wool over their eyes. “What’s he like?”

“He’s really cute. I feel great when I’m with him, which is an entirely new experience for me. And he just so happens to definitely not be your old university roommate,” Regulus says in a dreamy tone. He finds it disappointing how he almost doesn’t have to pretend with his tone. 

He had whined to Pandora earlier about the rapidly developing crush and had begged for techniques on how to stop it. She had simply laughed and said, “You can’t stop love from happening darling, it just does!”

“Oh piss off,” Sirius says with a laugh. "Is James making sure you’re having fun at least?” Sirius asks and Regulus laughs to himself.  

“Yes, we’re actually planning a Christmas party for Monty right now.”

“A Christmas party, hmm? Well that sounds like fun.” Sirius says with a laugh. “Never thought you’d be planning a party, but give Monty my regards."

“Neither did I. I swear, James Potter gets you to do the maddest things…” He hears Sirius snort.

“That’s one way of putting it,” Sirius says and Regulus rolls his eyes, remembering all the pranks Sirius and James pulled in their university years. He had gotten in so much trouble…

"How are the kids?” Regulus asks, happy to change the topic away from him and James Potter.

“Oh they're fine, a bit excited after a surprise visitor tonight, but I just tucked them into bed a little bit ago.” His brother’s tone gentles up a bit more than usual and Regulus narrows his eyes.

“Oh that’s nice."

“Mhmm.” Regulus is about to pry about the mystery visitor when he gets another call.

“Oh, one second, I have another call coming in.” He looks and sees it’s Remus. “Crap, I should take this. Do you mind holding? I really want to talk to you.”

“Yeah go ahead,” Sirius says and Regulus flips to Remus’s call.

“Hello?”

“Hi Regulus, it’s Remus,” Remus says, “So sorry it took me so long to give you a call."

“No, no. It’s alright. I’ve had James keeping me busy. How’s it going over there?”

“Oh, it’s going fine,” He hears a door shut and finds that interesting. Winters over there were extremely cold. Regulus looks at the time. It would be… almost 10pm there. Why on earth would he be out that late? I mean, he could be going for a drive I suppose… “How’s everything with you? James isn’t driving you too crazy I hope.”

“Oh not at all, it’s been nice to have my own personal guide. James kinda seems to put love in everything he does, so it’s been nice to see the world through his eyes for a bit.”

“He is pretty optimistic, isn’t he?” Remus chuckles. 

“Also - your house is amazing. Shocked me at first, but it is all in one piece I can assure you,” Regulus gushes.

“Mhmm, wait till tomorrow night. Keep track of who breaks something - I’ll make sure they replace it later,” Remus says with a snort. Regulus instantly realizes why James had been saying they’d get along.

“I will if I remember their names,” Regulus says with a laugh of his own before remembering Sirius is waiting for him. “Sorry, I have my brother on the line, do you mind if you hold for a quick sec? I forgot to ask him what he was calling about.”

“You’re talking with Sirius? I’m sorry to interrupt,” Remus hurries and he does sound incredibly sorry.

“Oh I forgot you two had met,” Regulus says with a small laugh. “Hope he hasn’t traumatized you too much. He can be a twit sometimes. A good natured arse, but still.”

“No, he’s been perfect company. He’s been like my own personal tour guide as well. I guess like James is doing to you.” Regulus feels confused for a moment. I guess Sirius becoming a tour guide for Remus made sense as a way to make up for barging in on him…

“Yeah, I suppose so,” Regulus settles on as a response.

“How is he?” Remus asks and this question takes Regulus by absolute surprise.

“Fine I think. Can you hold on for a bit?”

“Oh yeah, take your time,” Remus says and Regulus’s confusion remains. 

“Alright…” He switches Remus to hold and back to Sirius. “Hi, sorry that was Remus. I wanted to make sure he was settling in alright.” 

“Oh! How did he sound? How is he doing?” Sirius asks, sounding excited. What the hell is going on here?

“He just asked me how you are,” Regulus says, hoping his happy salesman voice is holding while his mind is racing.

“And what did you say?” Sirius asks, a bit of worried inflection in his tone.

“I asked him to hold... Can I call you back?” Regulus says starting to piece things together.

“I can hold while you talk to him,” Sirius says and Regulus shakes his head visibly in confusion.

“Really?”

“Yeah, just. Tell me how he is, okay? The roads are icy tonight.”

“Alright…” Regulus switches back to Remus. 

“Hi again. My brother wants to know how you are? Are you alright? Have you been ill or something?” Regulus asks, starting to hope what he thinks has happened hasn’t actually happened. 

“Oh no, I’m fine. Wonderful actually. Tell him I’m just getting ready for bed and he can text me plans for tomorrow. Is everything alright with him? Did he say?” Remus asks and the happy tone makes something inside Regulus’s stomach turn. Oh no...Sirius Black I swear on everything that’s holy this better not be what I think it is.

“I’m not sure. Do you want me to ask him?” Regulus asks.

“Sure,” Remus says in a chipper way that makes him want to vomit. Visitor with the kids… door slam…gentle voice… happy tone… the icy roads…? Oh god. I’m gonna be sick.

“Alright, one moment.” Regulus makes the motion of switching calls while staring at the wall angrily.

“SIRIUS BLACK. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HAD SEX WITH THE MAN STAYING AT MY HOUSE!” He yells into the phone. He hears a loud gasp.

“He told you that?” Remus asks, sounding mortified.

“Oh, God! No! Sorry! I thought I was talking to Sirius. Hold on please, I am terribly sorry,” Regulus says quickly. Oh god, amazing impression. Way to go Regulus.

He tries to switch back to Sirius. “I can’t believe you’ve had sex with Remus! He’s been there only like four days! James told me he just broke up with someone. Who do you think you are trying to sweep him off his feet when all he wanted was one normal fucking holiday?! The one thing he asked me was if there were any men in my town, and I assured him there were not. And then you meet him and immediately shag him on my bed. Oh god, you did do it in my bed, didn’t you?” He hears a deep breath on the other line.

“Still me,” He hears Remus say with an exhale and he grimaces.

“Oh christ , I must’ve lost him. The wifi goes out at that house sometimes. I’ve told him he has to get another bloody router. Look, I’m so sorry.” He hears another call go through that he registers as Sirius calling back. “Alright, I think he’s calling now. Can I call you back?” He hears a deep sigh. 

“Yeah, sure.” He can almost picture the embarrassed face of the man on the other line. Regulus makes a yikes face to himself. 

“Alright,” He picks up the phone. “What?” Regulus asks, still ticked off that he just embarrassed himself so thoroughly. 

“Whoa, it’s James. Is everything alright?” James asks with a small worried chuckle.

“Oh god, please get over here. I made a mess of everything. No one should let me near technology,” Regulus groans, covering his face with one of his hands. “First the gate, now this…"

“Oh? Can’t find any mistletoe? Honestly, it’s fine Reggie. We can just hang an extra garland or something.”

“No, I mean, yes . But-I may have yelled at Remus for sleeping with Remus because I thought I had switched the call back to Sirius, but Sirius’s wifi must’ve gone out because I couldn’t switch because he wasn’t there.”

“O-oh,” He hears James say, and he can tell the other man is trying not to laugh.

“I did it twice too,” Regulus groans and he hears a snort on the other line. “Don’t laugh at me!" Regulus whines. “That was super embarrassing.”

“I’m sure the one who's more embarrassed right now is Remus.”

“Oh god, he confirmed they were sleeping together, didn’t he?” Regulus gags slightly, before considering something. “And he went over to his house and met his kids, so it must be at least kind of serious.” James chuckles and Regulus sighs. “Oh christ. Not you too.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’m on my way, I’m bringing you some spiked eggnog I picked up for the party. We won’t miss one bottle.”

“What would I do without you?” Regulus asks, honestly appreciative of the thought.

“I think I should be asking that to you. See you in five.” 

He hangs up and for a moment Regulus sits there in stunned silence. He touches his cheeks with his hands, feeling them burning. Oh god… James Potter was going to be the death of him.

Chapter Text

Sirius should have known Remus Lupin would surprise him. After all, that was all he had been doing since they had met on that fateful night. Sirius had only been intending to check on Regulus that night, but it had turned into so much more. Now the man who had opened the door in his nightclothes was sledding with his daughter, and building a snowman with his son.

“Say cheese!” Tonks yelled. Remus had effortlessly wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulder and leaned down next to their snowman. 

“Looking good!” Sirius calls out from the back door. After setting up Hope with some hot cocoa, warm clothes and some blankets, he had gone outside to check on the boys and Tonks. He steps out back into the snow and sees Remus turn to him, a glimmer in his eyes. “What did you name him Teds?”

“We named him Starman!” Teddy calls proudly. 

“After the Bowie song,” Tonks specifies, maybe more proud than him.

“Ah. I see,” Sirius smiles at the two. “There is hot coco inside if you two would like.”

“Yes please!” Tonks says and Teddy runs along behind them before pausing and turning to look at Remus. Sirius looks over and sees him putting a finger over his lips. Teddy giggles and only then does Sirius see the snowball in his hand. Remus’s mischievous look falls on him and Sirius’s smile drops.

“Remus…” He warns. Remus smirks and starts running towards him. Sirius dashes away from the back steps and he hears Teddy laughing behind them. Sirius stumbles slightly before feeling a thunk on his back. He quickly picks up some snow, turns around and chucks it at Remus’s chest. They throw a few more back and forth before Remus ends up tackling him on the ground. Sirius laughs happily as his back hits the snow and there’s a slam of the back door being shut. Remus pauses, his eyes going from playful to gentle. He slowly cups Sirius’s cheek with his hand. The shiver that follows this action Sirius is pretty sure it isn't from the cold. 

“You’re beautiful,” Remus whispers and Sirius feels himself flush. 

“O-oh, thank you. You are too.” Remus chuckles and tucks some of his hair behind his ear. Sirius watches as he does, slightly confused, but also in awe of the gentle touch. Remus leans down and kisses him softly. Sirius knows he should resist kissing back before asking him what they are. What he’s really doing here. Why is he doing this? He implied he wanted something with him last night, but he had brushed him off that afternoon in the car. Sirius knew he should root out the gray of their relationship. He should pull away, fix him with the hardest stare he could manage and ask Remus what he wants with him. He should, but he can’t. He can’t help himself. Sirius kisses back, allowing himself to reach up and run his fingers through Remus's hair. He thinks for a moment that this is how it’s meant to be. That maybe, in some universe, Remus could be his for more than a night.

“You’re so ethereally gorgeous,” Remus mumbles softly, “I don’t know how you do it.” Sirius blushes before he reaches up and pulls Remus down more. Remus follows the cue and kisses him again. Sirius knows they should get inside and can feel the ice creeping in under his layers and creating a pinching sensation along his skin, but he can’t find it within himself to care. He was Remus's for now. Remus was his. For a moment in time Sirius had exactly what he wanted. 

After a while of this, they finally pull away, pressing their foreheads against each other. Sirius bites his lip seeing Remus’s lips slightly more swollen then they were before. He sighs softly, feeling his heart entranced by the sight. 

Sirius moves his hands from where it had been resting on Remus’s neck back to his hair. He slowly runs his fingers through it delicately messing up the light brown curls. Remus smiles, not appearing to mind in the slightest. 

This was definitely not what friends did, and Sirius knows alarm bells should be ringing in his head. He knows there’s a voice in his gut that should be yelling at him to run while he still can. To laugh off the touches and preserve some of his dignity. Maybe his subconscious was yelling at him, but Sirius was too far away in the clouds to hear it. Remus had pulled him into a dream and Sirius would happily surrender to the pull behind his eyes if he could stay within his embrace forever. 

“We should get inside,” Remus says softly, gently jarring Sirius out of his thoughts.

“You’re right. I did make you hot chocolate after all. Wouldn’t want that to get cold, would we?” Sirius says in return, just as soft as Remus had. He smiles and only then does Sirius notice Remus's fingers also in his hair.

“Kind and beautiful,” Remus mumbles and kisses his forehead. “How am I supposed to compete with that?” He starts to get up and extends his hand to Sirius to help him up. Sirius wants to melt into the snow, his heart racing in his chest.

“Maybe you’re not supposed to resist it,” Sirius flirts back and lets Remus pull him to his feet. “Maybe you’re supposed to enjoy it for now.”

“Mhmm, I am,” Remus admits, his eyes tracing over Sirius’s face for a moment. He takes Sirius's face in between his hands and kisses him. Sirius feels his body melt into it all over again and he pulls him closer. They pull apart and Sirius slowly lets go of the death grip he had on Remus’s jacket. Alright, maybe he still had some subconscious instincts he hadn’t managed to suppress. 

Remus smiles, taking his hand in his and pulling him towards the back door. Sirius happily follows behind him. He takes in the feeling of Remus’s hand protectively wrapped around his own. It felt like he had finally found a missing piece of his puzzle. He was safe within Remus’s atmosphere, even though Sirius knew how quickly he could come crashing back to earth. 

Sirius had never been good at sticking around when it came to relationships and love - or having someone stick around with him. He knew he was damaged. He had been through enough failed relationships in his university career for him to know his trauma was a hindrance to his ability to keep someone by his side. Everyone liked the idea of being with him. I mean, he understood the appeal. 

He knew his genetics had blessed him with a gracefulness and a face that would give people around him pause. He knew he had been given shocking gray eyes like his mother, while his brother had gotten his fathers. Both of them had gotten into a debate asking which of them was worse. The looks of the woman who took pleasure in their pain, or the father that stood by and let it happen. 

Sirius rode a motorcycle in university, one that had been carefully tucked away for the winter months. He had tattoos, nevermind why he had gotten the first ones. He looked like the picture of a bad-boy rockstar that someone had pulled out of their romance novel. But actually being with him, well… It was anything but a storybook romance. He had gotten in enough arguments with partners who, once they realized there was more to him besides their wet dream fantasy, would drop him and never look back. 

He guessed he wondered if Remus thought the same way. Good enough to shag, kiss and touch, but never enough to stay for. But the way Remus was looking at him… The way he had looked at him during that date like he was the only thing that mattered to him, it made him hope that maybe this thing between him was it. Maybe Remus was being genuine when he kissed his hand and cupped Sirius’s cheek like he wanted to keep him within his embrace. Sirius had never been used to allowing people to see all the damaged parts of him, and having them remain instead of running away from them. His kids had stayed, but that was by a different kind of obligation, and he was friends with the Longbottoms in Uni. But romantic wise, he had started to accept that all he would be good for with other people was a night. He had never allowed himself a minute to hope that maybe, for once, he could be someone else’s for a little while and they could be his. 

But that was before Remus Lupin. He had changed everything. He wanted to hope and he had let Sirius hope. If Sirius had learned anything from the stories he had read and lived, hope was a very powerful and dangerous thing.

“Here, let me take a photo for James,” Remus says softly, placing a gentle hand on the small of Sirius’s back. “He’s been asking for some. To make sure you’re taking care of me or something, even though you know that’s not necessary.” He feels Remus leaning over him from behind, lifting his hand from his back to take out his phone. Sirius closes his eyes for a moment, taking in the feeling of Remus this close to him. He feels Remus’s hand against his shoulder blade as he takes a picture of both of their hands holding hot chocolate.” Sirius smiles back up at him before turning around to face him.

“You know I would have insisted on taking care of you tonight, no matter what. I mean, your clothes are drenched and you are currently in mine.” Remus nodded with a small chuckle. 

The minute he had stepped out of the restroom, Sirius’s brain had turned off. Remus had blushed and played with his hands. 

“You say I look ethereally beautiful… but I don’t think all the poets in the world could ever do you justice.” Remus had covered his face and groaned. Sirius had laughed before pulling him downstairs.

"You have to send me that,” Sirius adds with a smile at the memory. Remus nods and takes a sip of his. As he pulls back from the cup, a little bit of whipped cream gets on his lip. Sirius reaches out softly and brushes it off with his thumb. 

“There you go,” Sirius says softly and he notices Remus’s smile softens. He tilts his head slightly as he does and Sirius feels his insides scream. Oh god help him, he was so adorable. 

“Thanks,” He says softly and moves forward for a moment before quickly stepping back.

“What is it?” Sirius asks softly, and Remus cringes.

“Sorry, I just wanted to hold you, but I know I’ve already pushed your boundaries a bit  more than I probably should have today and-“ Sirius puts down his hot cocoa. He takes Remus’s from him and places it next to his. Remus pauses with a hopeful confusion in his eyes. Sirius keeps looking at him as he gently slots his arms around Remus’s torso. He rests his head against his chest and looks up into those honey brown eyes that he had begun to love. 

“ Oh …” Remus sighs softly and moves his arms around Sirius’s waist. He gently tugs him closer to him and Sirius lets himself breathe him in. He smelled like cinnamon and lavender. The poets really could never describe you, my love. Sirius nuzzles himself into him more, wanting to stay in the glow forever. 

“You didn’t need to bring the kids Christmas presents, you know,” Sirius says softly. 

“I wanted to. I ran to the stores last night before I headed home.” Sirius visibly cringes at the thought of last night.

“I-I am so sorry about that call last night.”

“Did you tell him?” Remus asks and Sirius quickly shakes his head. 

“No, he told me he put two and two together. In his words: ‘you two sounded so utterly enamored with each other already. I would’ve been surprised if you two hadn’t’ shagged'.” Remus snorts and rests his head on Sirius. He feels Remus breathe him in and closes his eyes tightly. Please don’t let go… please stay.

“Fair…” Remus sighs. “I don’t know how subtle you were, but I definitely wasn’t.”

“Well even if I was being subtle, Regulus would’ve known. He can read me better than almost anyone else.” Sirius feels Remus’s touch on his back and allows himself to melt into his touch. 

“Makes sense… I never asked. Why the name Padfoot?”

“Why do my kids call me that?” He feels Remus nod slightly and sighs. “James’s nickname for me. It was after a prank gone wrong when we were in university,” Sirius groans with a laugh. “James got electrocuted by accidentally sticking a fork in an electrical socket. I don’t even remember why he was doing that anymore. I think something got stuck in there and being drunk and an idiot he thought that would help him retrieve it. I fell through the floor in a place we definitely shouldn’t have been in and broke my foot. Hence, Prongs and Padfoot.” Remus laughs softly, continuing the circling motion on Sirius’s back. Sirius closes his eyes, soaking up the feeling of Remus’s chest rumbling against his body. “Did he give you a nickname? I know Peter earned himself the nickname Wormtail for being an apparent animal activist?"

“Oh my god, yeah,” Remus laughs again. “He went on an entire drunk rant. We were celebrating the release of our first movie and Lily got the good stuff. He was talking about animal cruelty and how rats were an underappreciated species for at least an hour. He has a pet mouse by the way. He named him Wormtail, but James has taken to calling him his mouse’s name since.”

“How about you?” Sirius looks up at him, their noses almost brushing as Remus was already looking down at him. Sirius tries to keep down the butterflies that rise in his stomach from the simple action.

“Well, you know how I’ve got a crescent-shaped scar on my neck?”

“Yeah,” Sirius says softly. He had made a mark there on their first night together. It has faded a bit now. A part of himself wants to fix that, but he pushes it back down. He’s not mine.  

“Well for that, he calls me Moony. When Dorcas first heard it she asked if I had shown him my ass when we were roommates.” Sirius laughs at that.

“Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs,” Sirius says softly. 

“Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” Remus asks softly. 

“It really does. Though I do prefer Moony and Padfoot.” Sirius winks. Remus rolls his eyes, but smiles. Sirius feels giddy knowing it landed how he wanted it too.

“Of course you do. Now let's get into the living room before Tonks thinks we’re shagging in your kitchen.”

“Well we could be,” Sirius grins as he grabs his hot chocolate. Remus groans and laughs. 

“Padfoot,” He laughs, beginning to walk towards the door. Sirius freezes, looking at him in surprise at how effortlessly he had said that. Remus looks over his shoulder and must’ve seen the look on Sirius's face. “Sorry, was I overstepping?” Sirius shakes his head and marches up to Remus. Oh love… He presses their chests together in an embrace. He watches Remus’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Overstep with me more often, Moony .” He hears Remus gasp softly and smirks, knowing he’s accomplished his goal. He kisses his lips quickly before walking away, letting his hips swing a bit more than normal as he walks into the living room. For a moment he doesn’t hear anything behind him. Remus must have stayed frozen. Then he hears a quick patter of feet. Remus was practically chasing after him and for a moment, Sirius thought everything was just like it was supposed to be.

***

“So this is where you hide from the world, yeah?” Remus asks Teddy softly. Teddy nods, falling into his beanbag chair. His curls bounce as he throws himself down and Remus feels a smile creep across his lips. 

“Yep. When Hope is being too loud in her room, and Tonks is spending time with friends downstairs, I usually stay here. Everyone knows not to bother me,” He admits and looks around.

“Mhmm, you know I have a library in my house too,” Remus says, looking around at the books lining the shelves. Sirius definitely did spoil his kids rotten, and Remus feels himself adding it to his ‘incredibly attractive things about Sirius’ list. At this point it probably wasn’t a list, but an entire essay.

“You do?” Teddy asks in surprise.

“Mhmm,” Remus sits down on the floor next to him. “I don’t get to read all of them because I’m so busy sometimes. But I try to get through at least one per month. I think it keeps me writing well.” Teddy nods. 

“Do you write books?”

“No, I wish sometimes, ” Remus says with a small chuckle. “I actually write movies.” Teddy’s eyes widened.

“Really? What kind?”

“Well I used to do more adventure movies when I was starting out, but I’ve been doing a lot more romances recently. My friends love working with that genre, so I’ve been trying to give them some more material.”

“You know, some studies say it takes five minutes to fall in love with someone… Do you think that’s true?” He asks, with an innocence in his eyes that melts Remus’s soul. He gently puts his hand down flat in front of him. Teddy takes his hand and Remus smiles, squeezing it gently.

“I think so. I mean, I don’t know if love at first sight is real. Feeling drawn to someone, well... I can definitely say that is. But, love comes afterwards. I think love isn’t and is a choice. You chose to put your faith in someone, but your heart definitely urges who that person is.” Remus chuckles. “Sometimes you think you’re losing it with the things you’re willing to do for them, but. Love, from what I have seen from it… it can hurt like crazy, but it also can be the most incredible thing on the planet. I’m sure you’ve experienced it, right? Your parents before they passed away, they must’ve loved you to bits.” Teddy nods, looking down. “And Pads, well I can tell from this library alone that he must love you as well. I would’ve killed for this when I was a kid.” Teddy smiles sadly and Remus squeezes his hands. "And you must love your siblings.”

“I do!” Teddy says, his eyes lighting up. “I never had siblings before - and now I do...Do you know what Tonks calls us?”

“What?” Remus asks with a loving smile. 

“The three musketeers! I haven’t read the book, but I would like to. She says it’s really fun - and adventurous! Just like us.” Remus feels himself take a deep breath in. 

A memory flashes through his head before he can stop it from coming. It was one of him rushing down the stairs at Teddy’s age with a toy sword and going up to his parents at his birthday party.

“All for one?” He had asked and his dad had laughed, raising his own toy sword that had matched his sons. His mother smiled at him, lighting the candles of his birthday cake.

“And one for all!” They had said at the same time. They had laughed then, as his mom had lifted him up to blow out the candles. Now he felt himself blink back hard against the tears, back in his twenty-five year old body.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. 

“Well, maybe I can read it to you sometime if you’d like?” He asks gently. Sirius’s thumb rubs his shoulder blade in soothing circles, reminding Remus of the motion he had made on Sirius’s back earlier in the day. 

“Yes please!” Teddy says excitedly before looking at the man behind him. “Is it bedtime, Pads?” 

“Yes. Let’s say goodnight, alright?” Sirius says gently.

“Goodnight, Moony.” Teddy says and hugs him tightly. Remus hugs him tightly back and looks up at Pads with a small shake of his head. He knew that he was the reason for his name change from Remus to Moony in the kid’s head. He hadn’t stopped calling him that nickname since he had told him in the kitchen. He knew Sirius was doing it to get a rise out of him, but he couldn’t say he minded all that much.

“Goodnight, Teddy.” They let go and he watches Teddy happily go towards his room. 

“Do you want to tuck him in?” Sirius asks Remus. “I mean, if you do want to adopt him…” Remus turns around to meet his gaze. Sirius was kneeling down to look him in the eyes and Remus reached out and took his hand in his. 

“It’s alright, I’ll leave that to you…. I don’t know if I can do that right now after... Three musketeers, hmm?”

“Yeah… I’m so sorry, Moony.” Remus smiles sadly at the nickname. He had started to love the sound of it on Sirius’s lips more than he’d like to admit to himself. “It’s alright. Maybe they’ll restore my faith in that story. You know, I have an edition in my house that has its spine broken and its pages worn from all the times I read it when I was a kid. Even after their divorce, I couldn’t part with it. It was my favorite book… it still is.” Sirius leans over and kisses his cheek.

“Maybe you should pick it up again at some point. When you’re ready of course.”

“Maybe I can read that version to Teddy.” Sirius’s smile widens. 

“He’d love that. I think that would make it very special to him. Not only because it was you, but because that’s a part of yourself you’re choosing to share with him. He’s very emotionally intelligent for a ten year old.”

“I can tell. Must’ve gotten that from you,” Remus says softly. They stay looking at each other for a moment. It was quiet, but it wasn’t uncomfortable like Remus felt silences normally were. It was warm and comforting… It was safe.

Remus squeezes his hand and Sirius squeezes back in reassurance. He can feel the promise within it. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere . Remus feels a little bit of guilt rise in his stomach. But Pads... I am….

“Alright, I’m going to put Teddy to bed. Do you want to meet in my office? I’ve done some research, but I want to go over some of it with you.” 

“Yeah, of course. I’ll meet you there.” Sirius helps Remus to his feet. They stay there for a moment, inches apart, but Remus holds himself back. I’m leaving in a few days... Sirius smiles and walks away. Remus heads downstairs into the room he had learned was Sirius’s office from the house tour Teddy had insisted on giving him this morning. He’s about to enter when he hears a voice behind him.

“So are you dating, or what?” He turns around seeing Tonks crossing their arms and a look that says ‘don’t give me bullshit'. 

“Not officially, no,” Remus admits, feeling the guilt in his stomach that had been building simmer. 

“Are you planning too?” Tonks asks and Remus feels his throat dry.

“I… I want to but-“

“-No. No buts here. Look, Pads really likes you, and I know I don’t need to tell you that because you see it. There is no way you don’t. I have lived with this man since I was sixteen years old, and known him since I was a baby. He has never looked at anyone like he looks at you. Not even his boyfriends in university. Not that they were really healthy for him if my mother’s comments are to be believed.” Remus swallows hard and nods. 

“In my humble defense, I haven’t felt like this in my life either,” He says and Tonks’s arms drop to their sides, relaxing their stance. “Look, I really like Padfoot. I think that is very obvious too. I am also aware that our lives are on two different sides of the globe. The last thing I want to do is break his heart, but I don’t know…” Remus sighs. “I don’t want to hurt him worse by making something real between us and then screwing it all up.”

“I think love is worth taking that chance. I know Pads will take that risk. He has for Uncle Regulus, for me, for Hope and for Teddy. He will do anything for the people he loves. My question is: will you?” Tonks asks, cutting straight to his core. It was as if he was having that phone call with Lily all over again. He knew they both were right. Of course they were. But the problem was, he didn’t know the answer to that question himself. He didn’t know if he was brave enough to do that to himself. More importantly, if it came down to it, he didn’t know if he could do that to Sirius. Could he really look him in the eyes and be like: hey I know you’ve built an entire life here where you’re happy and successful. Want to date a miserable man across the world from you who will probably break your heart because he’s terrified of how he feels?

A door shuts, taking them out of their conversation and Sirius appears at the top of the stairs. He pauses looking between Tonks and Remus.

“Tonks?” Sirius gives them a look. They roll their eyes, make an 'eyes on you' motion to Remus before going upstairs. 

“I’ll be in my room,” They say to Sirius before turning down the hall. Sirius quickly walks downstairs and to his office. Remus follows him in and shuts the door behind them.

“Sorry about that. Tonks has kind of taken it upon themselves to be my protector. I hope they didn’t say anything harmful.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about them. They asked fair questions… are these yours?” Sirius looks up from his desk and Remus continues to look around the room. He had this room pointed out to him, but had never looked inside. The wall was littered with charcoal drawings of Sirius’s family and colored in landscapes. 

“Oh. Yes they are... art is a hobby of mine,” Sirius replies and runs a hand through his hair sheepishly.

“Sirius,” Remus turns back to look at him, “They are beautiful. Truly.” He watches a soft blush coat on the other man’s cheeks. 

“Well, I have to do something for fun. As much as I’m sure my parents would’ve preferred me to be all work and no play, that’s never been my nature. But I’m sure there’s a lot of people who can do the same kind of stuff. I just enjoy it…” His voice trails off as Remus walks up to him.

“Padfoot,” He cups his face and Sirius drops the papers he was gathering up onto his desk with a thunk. “They are incredible.” Sirius blushes deeper and looks away from Remus. 

“Thanks…” He says softly before going back to cleaning up his papers and shoving them into a folder. “Do you have any hobbies that you do for fun?”

“Would you think I was a workaholic if I said writing?” Remus asks with a grimace. 

“Not more than I already think you are,” Sirius says with a small chuckle and Remus laughs. “Moons, you forget you said you haven’t had a holiday in years.” 

“Fair,” Remus laughs. “But no, by writing I mean like - novel writing. It’s been a little side project I’ve been doing for a bit.” Remus can basically see Sirius’s ears perk up as he turns quickly towards Remus. 

“You’re writing a book?” He asks, his eyes glimmering.

“It isn’t any good yet,” Remus says, knowing it’s now his turn to be embarrassed. 

“I don’t believe that for a second. Can you send it to me? I mean - you don’t have too of course, but I’ve seen some of yours and James’s movies. They're really good, Remus.” Remus blushes more and looks down at his hands. 

“Alright… just… promise you won’t judge me for it?”

“Promise,” Sirius says and Remus sighs. He takes out his phone.

“What’s your email?” He asks. Sirius sticks out his hand for his phone and Remus hands it over. He types it in and clicks send. He swishes his mouse around and unlocks his computer. Remus peers over his shoulder as he watches Sirius go to his email.

“I would like to warn you, I haven’t gone through and edited it yet. The ending isn’t even close to finished yet.”

“Would you like an editor?” Sirius asks, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow and brilliant smile.

“Oh, you don’t have too. I know you’re so busy and I wouldn’t ask that of you.”

“It’s not much to ask. I can’t remember the last time I edited for fun. I would be honored to do it for you. Just between us, no company involved, I promise.” Remus sighs. He looks so happy... 

“Alright,” Remus relents and Sirius grins. He turns back to his computer and opens the doc with Remus’s work on it. Remus anxiously taps his fingers on Sirius’s desk, afraid to watch his face. After a few moments of silence, Sirius speaks first.

“Remus… this is really good.”

“You don’t have to compliment me, I know it’s a bit rough around the edges. You’ve probably seen a million like it,” Remus pulls at his hands.

“Remus, I’m being absolutely honest.” Remus looks up to see Sirius looking at him with gentle eyes. “This is already one of the best rough drafts I’ve ever read and I’m only three pages in.”

“It gets a lot rougher,” Remus admits and Sirius laughs. 

“Well, now I know this level of excellence is in the cards, I know what we can aim for,” Sirius says effortlessly. “But really Remus. The description is fantastic. I… I can tell the world building you’re getting into here is going to actually mean something. It’s coming from a great place of preparation. You’ve got a great hook. I mean saying-” 

Remus doesn’t exactly know what comes over him in that moment, but he had been resisting the urge long enough for something to snap. He puts his fingers under Sirius’s chin to turn him to face him and kisses him. It was a long one, one where Remus wasn’t holding back anymore. He hears a soft sigh escape Sirius’s lips. He cups his hands on Remus’s cheeks and pulls him closer. 

“Remus,” He mumbles and Remus quickly pulls away, worried he’s pushed it. Sirius immediately pulls him back by his collar. “Don’t you dare,” He mutters and soon Remus is pulling him up and backing him up against his desk. There’s a small clatter as Sirius moves his keyboard off to the side and Remus lifts him on the desk. He feels Sirius’s fingers slipping under his sweater and he gasps softly.

“Mhmm, Sirius,” Remus mumbles, letting his hands wander under Sirius’s shirt as well. He starts kissing down Sirius’s jaw and Sirius whimpers.

“Keep going, please.” Sirius gasps as Remus bites a little at his neck. 

“Sirius, we don’t have too.” Remus pulls back to look at him.

“But I want to. Please. Just for now. For now, please,” He says breathlessly, pulling Remus by the sweater, firstfull of fabric in his grip. Just for now… 

“Alright, tell me to stop if you want me too,” Remus says softly, making quick work of the buttons on Sirius's shirt.

“Okay, but I won’t,” Sirius admits as Remus pushes his shirt off. He lets it fall on the desk behind him. Remus grabs it and throws it on the floor. This is quickly followed by Sirius lifting Remus’s sweater over his head. 

“Will the kids walk in without calling first?” Remus asks breathlessly, pulling Sirius closer by his waist. 

“No, they’ll knock. Even if it’s unlocked and they know it… oh fuck …” Remus chuckles from where he’s making a mark on Sirius’s neck. He feels Sirius lean into him and allows himself to cave into him in response. 

“Remus, please,” Sirius begs and the last of Remus’s restraint collapses. All the ideas about maybe not doing this in Sirius’s office, that was unlocked, when their children were upstairs were out of his head the minute Sirius had begged. He had always known the minute those gray eyes had locked on him that it was over for him. He’d never say no. And even more damning than those eyes looking up begging him to keep going was the longing in his heart driving him forward. He wanted to. He wanted this with Sirius. He wanted everything with Sirius. But he knew deep down he couldn’t have him. He would hurt him. He would ruin everything he wanted so badly before they had even begun. 

He was known to be an aloof boyfriend. He had been told he wasn’t very invested by some of his potential romantic partners. He was busy all the time, and awful at feelings. He would simply try to pretend they didn’t exist until they burst out of him like a champagne bottle you had shaken up before opening it. 

Most damning of all, unlike Remus’s previous partners, Sirius had kids. He had a life right here in England. He couldn’t ask him to uproot his entire world for him if things got serious between them. He couldn’t ask him to leave everything for him, and he knew he couldn’t leave his friends in California. They were all he had now.

He knew all this. But most of all he knew he was inexplicably, entirely, and fully in love with Sirius Black. It was earth shattering, it was soul-crushing, it was flying, it was crashing and it was everything in between. Remus had never thought he could ever be in love with anyone like the love he had seen in his friend’s eyes. He had said he wasn’t sure he was capable of it to Sirius all those days ago, but that wasn’t exactly true. Remus wasn’t sure he would let himself fall in love. Not after seeing how much it can destroy and the scars it can leave - sometimes physical in his case. 

Yet, here he was, in the middle of nowhere in England, fucking the man he loved in his office. And, God help him, he wanted to keep doing that. He wanted to keep exploring everything that made Sirius, Sirius. He wanted to know everything that made those gray eyes shine with that unearthly light they possessed. He wanted to know every button he could press to get Sirius to moan his name. He wanted to know the parts of him he kept hidden from everyone else. He wanted to give his heart away to a man who may as well live on an entirely different planet to him. He wanted to give Sirius his heart, knowing selfishly he would break Sirius’s own in return. But he wanted to do it anyway. He wanted to let Sirius ruin him. Remus would let him destroy him. As long as Sirius would love him - and that may have been the most terrifying at all. 

After all, the saying was true; falling feels a whole lot like falling until you hit the ground. But what do you do when you know you’ll hit the ground before you’ve even soured? Remus knew he would end up on the ground, with everything in the palm of Sirius’s hand to never be returned to him. He knew he would willingly lose it all to Sirius, but he also knew he couldn’t let him. He couldn’t let Sirius hit the ground. He loved Sirius enough to let him go… and that ached in him in ways that even if he wrote a thousand pages, he knew he’d never be able to accurately depict into words. 

But his mind didn’t have any words now. Remus would’ve been surprised if he had a coherent thought with Sirius’s body against him. Well, he supposed he had a few. The same thoughts that had been repeating in his head all night. The one that had started screaming since he had hit the poor man with a snowball that morning.

I love you, Sirius Black. I love you, I love you, I love you. 

But I don’t know how to love you without breaking you. 

I can't break you.

But I love you, Sirius Black. 

I love you, I love you, I love you. 

Please, forgive me for what I know I’ll have to do to keep from breaking you.

Forgive me. 

Forgive me for breaking my promise.

Forgive me, because I’m in love with you. 

I’m in love with you and I can’t stop. 

And I don’t want to stop. 

I love you, Sirius Black. 

I love you. 

I’m sorry I don’t know how to love you in the way you deserve. 

I’m not sure I could ever love you in the way you should be.

I’m sorry that I’ll break your heart.

I’m sorry I’ll never be enough for you.

There will never be enough of me that I can give to you. 

I don’t know how to give you everything without breaking you.

I won’t break you.

But I love you anyway.

Forgive me.

I love you, Sirius Black. 

I love you.

Chapter Text

James and Regulus had been working on making this party the most magical of all time. James could say he was thoroughly impressed by the outcome of their day’s work. Remus’s home looked more Christmasy then James had ever seen it with its original owner in residence. Not that he’d ever let Remus know that. Remus loved Christmas, but he usually helped James decorate his house and never had much time for decorating his own. Besides, Remus had spent every holiday with James and his dad since his mom passed. He didn’t need to decorate his place when he was spending so much time at theirs.

“So, how much do they know about me?” Regulus asks, putting the finishing touches on the garland wrapped around the staircase.

“Who?” James asks, taking the tape from his hand and putting it on one of the tables.

“Your friends. The ones you’ve invited for dinner. I hope you have let them know about one of their hosts."

“Of course I have,” James says with a laugh. Maybe I’ve talked more about you than platonically acceptable. But my point still stands. “A few of them know Sirius, but, as you know, since Tonks came around he hasn’t visited the states often. I forgot he and Remus hadn’t met because the last time he was here Remus was visiting his Mom in the hospital.”

“Oh god… poor thing but…are they expecting me to be like my brother?” Regulus asks with a grimace.

“Oh no, of course not. Just know they will not ask about your family or anything else along those lines,” He watches the other man’s shoulders drop in a sort of relief.

“Oh…I hadn’t even considered that,” Regulus says softly. 

“Don’t worry,” James slings an arm around his shoulders, “You’ve got both the Potters on your side!” Regulus snorts and rolls his eyes with a smile. The doorbell rings and James grins.

“Speaking of which!” He rushes to the door. 

“Dad!” He hugs him tightly and hears Regulus and his dad both laugh. It was this kind of melody that made James pause for a moment and listen. He catalogs it among the sounds he’d like to hear more often.

“James, you saw him two days ago,” Regulus teases, but there’s no ill will behind it.

“Two days too long Reggie,” He lets his dad in and takes his coat.

“Reggie? That’s a new one,” His dad comments.

“Yeah, he’s been calling me that recently. Must’ve picked it up from my brother,” Regulus says while hugging his dad. James chuckles, brushing off the fact that he, A - definitely didn’t realize he was saying that and B - he hadn’t talked to Sirius on the phone since Christmas Eve. He also didn’t think Sirius had called Regulus ‘Reggie’ once on that call. It must have slipped in without him noticing. 

Soon his friends all trickled in. It was very short notice, but as no one was going out of town for Christmas this year, except Remus obviously, most had cleared their original plans to make room for the holiday party. The girls had adopted Regulus into their circle in an instant, especially Lily and Dorcas. Peter showed up late. James listens to the conversation around him die down as an awkward silence falls in its wake.

“Hey, I brought some wine,” Peter says, trying his best to be casual. He puts it on the kitchen island. James quickly makes his way across the room. He sees a bit of fear flash across his friend's face before he hugs him tightly. 

“She had both of us fooled, man. I don’t blame you,” He says softly. “I’m glad you’re here.” Peter hugs back tightly at that and he feels them rocking back and forth.

“I’m still so sorry.”

“I know, but I forgive you, Peter. It’s her fault and mine for not telling you my then girlfriend’s name. Now let's enjoy the party.” James pulls away. “There’s Christmas fettuccini.” He wiggles his eyebrows at him.

“Oh god, yes please!” Him and James laugh. James takes the wine off of the table and goes to get a corkscrew. 

“Everyone take a seat! Dinner is served!” He hears Monty call. The group cheers and James smiles. He is beginning to open the wine when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks over to see Regulus standing there and suppresses the butterflies that had flown in his stomach.

“Everything okay?” James asks gently.

“Yeah, I just wanted to say I’m proud of you,” Regulus says with a genuine smile. James watches the lights they had set up reflect in his eyes and swallows.

“Well, I’m known to give second chances,” James says with a small laugh.

“I know, but not everyone in life deserves one. I personally think, from what you’ve told me, Peter does. I think he genuinely had no idea. However, my point still stands. You’re a good man James Potter.” James feels his cheeks flush, and looks back at the wine in front of him.

“Thank you. You’re a very good man too. I think you’ve made my dad’s Christmas.” He sees Regulus shake his head out of the corner of his eye.

“No, I think everyone here has. He’s grinning ear to ear, and he deserves it.” James gets the wine open.

“Hey!” He hears Marlene cheer at the large pop. He grins back at her and winks.

“Do you want any food while you get the wine ready?” Regulus asks and James turns to look at him again.

“Just some fettuccini is alright, if you don’t mind.” Regulus’s eyes narrow.

“James, you had fettuccini last night,” Regulus says with a knowing smile.

“I know, but I want to save the steak for everyone else. It’s a Potter specialty.”

“Not happening,” Regulus says and takes a plate. 

“Reggie,” James complains 

“You, Mr. Potter, are getting some steak, and potatoes,” Regulus says as he loads up the plate. James shakes his head with an appreciative smile. 

“Walk him like a dog honey,” Mary says and the rest of the group laughs. James smiles wider to himself.

“And he’s not protesting against someone treating him! Regulus you need to teach us your ways,” Lily adds with a laugh of her own. 

“Hey! I let myself get treated every once in a while.” Peter makes an ‘eh’ sound. James starts to walk around them making sure everyone who wanted it got wine.

“If by once in a while, you mean making sure everyone else is happy while neglecting yourself,” Dorcas says and James rolls his eyes fondly.

“I at least let you guys pay every once in a while,” James grumbles, saved by his phone ringing. “Guys it’s Remus!” The group cheers and quickly gets up to run next to James and say hello.

“Oh wow, everyone really is there,” Remus says with a laugh. 

“We miss you love,” Mary says and Remus smiles at her. 

“I miss you all too.” Regulus squeezes into frame next to him. James swears he can hear his heart beat in his ears.

“Sirius isn’t driving you crazy is he?” Regulus asks with a laugh. James sees a quick look flash across his friend's eyes before he masks.

“Oh no, I spent Christmas with him and his family. It was sweet of them to invite me." James raises his eyebrows at Remus’s response.

“Ah right, yesterday you mentioned you had plans,” Regulus says, rubbing the back of his neck. Remus’s eyes widen and he coughs slightly. Remus moves in a way James catches a hickey beneath his collar. It was still red, so it must’ve been new. James smirks a little and he sees Remus eye him wearily.

“Yeah…” Remus says softly, and he can tell he would rather die than continue this conversation.

“Well, while everyone’s here,” His dad calls to them. Remus sighs of relief and James chuckles. “I may as well make my announcement for the evening.” They all take their seats. James sits next to his dad and angles his phone so Remus can see the man of the hour. Regulus sits on his other side and James looks over and smiles at him. Regulus smiles back and James bites his cheek in an effort to keep himself from smiling too wide.

“What is it?” Peter asks, starting to dig into his fettuccini. 

“I was invited to speak to the screen writer's guild on my experiences in the movies. It will be an entire night featured around my work in film, and I would like all of you, if possible, to be in attendance.

“NO WAY!” Remus exclaims over the phone as everyone claps and cries out in excitement. “Monty, that’s a huge deal! When are you doing this?” 

“Two days,” Monty says, toasting with Lily on his other side. 

“Ah,” Remus says and James can see the look of consideration crossing his face. “James, can I talk to you alone for a moment? I promise I won’t take too long.” James nods and gets up. 

Regulus looks up at him and he can see a look of worry flash over his face. He reaches out and squeezes Regulus’s shoulder in reassurance before crossing over towards the same hallway he had talked to Sirius in yesterday. He pauses for a moment, feeling eyes on him. He looks back and sees Lily and Peter looking at him. Peter has raised eyebrows and Lily is smirking with a knowing look in her eye. Of all the people working within their company, he knew Lily, Peter and Remus the longest. He knew all three of them could read him like a book. 

They know… Fuck. He wasn’t getting out of this now. He rolls his eyes and flips them off before stepping into the kitchen.

“Okay, I’m alone now,” James says, watching his friends in the other room as they dig into their food. Regulus laughs at a joke Dorcas made. He throws his head back, the melody barrelling from his mouth right to a place in James’s chest. He feels a tug within the cavity and sighs, refocusing his attention to Remus. 

“Alright, so I want to come back early so I can surprise Monty. Do you think you can pick me up?” Remus asks.

“Yeah of course. Although...where are you going to stay then?” James asks.

“Fuck… I forgot about that… Do you mind if I stay at yours?”

“I mean, I could always ask Regulus if he could stay at mine,” James says, the idea of him and Regulus under the same roof starting to fill his stomach with a warm sort of feeling.

“No, that wasn’t the deal. I’d feel horrible,” Remus admits. “And it’ll be just like old times with the two of us."

“I suppose that is true. I can’t remember the last time we’ve had a sleepover that was planned.” Remus chuckles at this and James cracks a smile.

“Remus, I know that’s not why you asked to speak to me alone. What’s going on?” James asks softly into the phone, redirecting the conversation. The laughter of the others ring in from the dining room and he tries his best to keep his eyes focused on his phone and not the raven haired boy whose laughter was drawing him in like a magnet.

“Sirius. Sirius is what’s going on. Fuck , James. Why didn’t you tell me he had kids?” Remus asks, the desperation evident in his voice.

“Oh… is that an issue?” James asks, confused. 

Remus had always loved kids. He remembered him admitting in one of their late night chats laying their living room floor back when they were still broke and living in a home together that Monty was helping them pay for. They called that spot their thinking place. Whenever they needed an idea and it wasn’t coming, they’d move one of their coffee tables and lie on the rug together. They would stare up at the ceiling, as if asking the heavens for guidance. Some of their movies had come to them that way. Just two boys lying on a rug in the middle of their living room, lights dimmed and bouncing ideas and dreams back and forth. One of those nights long ago, Remus said he almost decided to become a teacher. He told James he ultimately decided against it because he would’ve missed the storytelling that writing allowed him too much. He wanted to be the one creating those stories for people to enjoy and teach to others. Even with that realization, James knew he had taken a few classes in college to try it out.

“No! Of course it’s not. The problem is it has made him even harder to resist. Do you see the way he looks at those kids - they way those kids look at him?” Remus groans helplessly. James laughs, hearing it bounce off the raised ceilings of his friend’s house.

“Is it really that bad?”

“Bad enough I- and don’t you dare tell Reggie this - I may have fucked Sirius in his office.”

“ No! Remus Lupin you did not.” James says, jaw dropping open. He was in actual shock. The Remus he knew wasn’t known for sleeping with anyone, especially not a man he had met about a week ago. In fact, the Remus he knew was a workaholic who hadn’t taken a week off since he had gotten to Hollywood. He had always been a sit down and grind kind of person. He was the person James trusted the most to get from point A to point B. It had become a joke around their friend group that Remus was their resident homebody.  

I mean, James of all people understood that Sirius had charms that could override the senses. He had seen the way people had looked at him back in school, but he was shocked Remus of all people had succumbed to them so quickly. Remus was incredibly guarded and James knew better than anyone the reasons his soldiers were standing watch. Remus would insist that he didn’t know how to love. James knew it didn’t keep him from trying though. He knew Remus wanted to be loved, and wanted to have a partner, even though he pretended to not care about either of those things. James would argue, one could not write such gut wrenching romances without a deep sense of yearning in your soul. Yet, Remus always seemed more angry and frustrated than sad whenever a relationship ended. It was a sort of resignation. It was a finality to it, and every time something ended, Remus would add a guard to his walls and remind them to stay in place. It was a bit disheartening, James had to admit. 

Even knowing both of his friends' ways, James wasn’t sure at this point he could blame the Sirius Black charm for the way Remus had fallen for him so quickly. There seemed to be something else entirely at play here. A natural chemistry that had arisen between the two, and a mutual understanding that had begun a foundation. A foundation he knew both would deny with a fever, but solid ground nevertheless. The way Remus talked about him in their texts and calls back and forth, he could tell that Remus felt something more than what he was saying. In the events Sirius sent him pictures of them doing, he could see it in their eyes. 

If he hadn’t heard the interaction over his call with Sirius all those days ago, what would’ve given Sirius’s evident feelings away were what the dates contained. Where Sirius was taking him was different from the techniques he used to get someone into bed with him. They weren’t the flashy kind of joints, and classic tourist stops. They were sentimental. He was taking him to his favorite places in the town he had picked to raise his family. The town he had chosen to run away from his past. A past, he was letting Remus see glimpses of. He was telling Remus about his childhood, about his work, and he had let him see his kids for christ sake. None of Sirius’s one night stands in the past had even gotten close to learning he was a single dad. Sirius wasn’t playing for what was in Remus’s pants - though the marks seemed to point to the fact he was enjoying that part - Sirius was playing for Remus's heart. And winning from what James could tell, Remus was falling, hook, line, and sinker - if he hadn't already. 

In those pictures Remus looked happier than James had ever seen him. He could tell a part of him wanted Sirius. He was used to reading between the lines with Remus, but, as Remus had made clear in this conversation, he was struggling coming to terms with the intensity of those feelings. 

Like when James was constructing his score based off of Remus's scripts, the best material was found when they dug into the feelings between the lines. James was a musician at heart, and had learned how to let feeling into his bones. He had trained himself to seek it out and spread it to others. He’d learned nuances between every sound and breath. Remus had said it was one of his strengths, but also his worst enemy when it was directed at his own love life instead of his characters. Remus didn’t know it yet, but James was gearing up his aim. He was aligning his bow with a target, ready for the next opportunity to release the bow and send it sailing through the air.

“I did,” Remus groans in embarrassment. “He wanted to read my novel. He wants to edit it, even though I told him he didn’t need to. We weren’t even a few drinks in, unless you count hot chocolate as a drink, and then BANG! I’m screwing him - while his kids are upstairs sleeping by the way - like a fucking horny teenager.” Remus pinches the bridge of his nose and groans.

“Wow, you two are acting like parents already. Sneaking in any spare moment,” James teases.

“James, you've gotta help me. I cannot fall for him,” Remus begs. 

“I hate to say it buddy, but from your comments this week,” And Sirius’s as well, if James was honesty, “I think you may have long passed that point. That’s a finish line left in the dust and you are still running the mile.”

“Fuck. I know… I know James! This is why I usually ghost the people I sleep with. I catch feelings and I can’t do that here. James, I’ll be back in L.A. for Monty’s event this Sunday. I can’t.”

“Remus. Long distance is a thing. A beautiful thing even if it’s between the right people. You can make it work if you try. I know he’d be willing to do it. Sirius has a work ethic only matched by someone else I know.” He sees a torn look in Remus’s eyes. “I think it’s worth it. Infinitely more so if you do love him.” He watches Remus physically freeze and the fear that had previously flashed across his eyes fall across his entire face.

“Oh god, Prongs, don’t even say the l word right now or I will have a mental breakdown,” Remus puts a hand over his face.

“You aren’t right now? Remus. I would like to remind you it is nearly two in the morning over there.”

“Oh I am well aware. I’m in his guest room pacing around enough to engrave it within the floorboards. I’ve been trying to decide if I should throw all caution to the wind and just knock on his door,” Remus admits with a disappointed chuckle.

“When did you head to bed?”

“I called you right after I took a shower. I’m just… I’m terrified of James. What if I do tell him that I…” Remus swallows hard.

“Oh god, you do love him,” James says gently and he watches Remus grimace. 

“James, you don’t understand,” Remus’s voice cracks and James feels his own heart sink in his chest. He hated seeing his friends upset like this, but he knew he had to keep pushing. He couldn’t let Remus let go of that love. Not when he clearly felt it so viscerally. 

"I have to leave soon. He said it to me himself last night before I left - he didn’t tell me about his kids because he didn’t want them to get too attached to me if I was gone in a few days. He was right, but oh his boy … James, god help me. If I haven’t fallen in love with the man himself, I’ve at least fallen for his kids. He’s fostering this ten year old named Teddy and he looks like me and everything. He’s just like I was when I was younger. He’s like looking in a mirror. Sirius said something about when you know you know, and oh god do I know. I want to adopt him, and hell, you know how crazy that is with who my role models were,” Remus says with a huff.

“I would venture to say if Sirius could do it with his so-called role models, you definitely could." He sees Remus concede to this point.

“But James, two weeks ago I didn’t even want to settle down! Now I’m considering uprooting my entire life for a man I just met in a country across the world. And my home is L.A., and he is here. He has kids. He has a job - and it’s so selfish James. It’s selfish that I want him to uproot his entire life for me and move to L.A. where I have a house with so many rooms I don’t know what to do with. I want to fill them with him and the kids. I’ve started thinking about making space in my library for Teddy’s books, and clearing out my spare office for Sirius’s art studio. But I can’t do that to any of them. I can’t ask him to make that sacrifice.” James sighs and looks towards the black haired boy of his own with those piercing blue eyes. He was chatting with Mary now. It seemed to be a very passionate conversation, since Regulus had booed her twice. He could see the family resemblance in the way he threw his head back carelessly when he laughed, but there were so many layers to those blue eyes that had entranced him in a way his best friend’s never had. 

Sirius had told him his brother had always had better self-restraint than he had. He always had ideas swimming in his head and was always planning ahead. He had stayed while Sirius had run screaming so at least one of them would get the inheritance. He had suffered because he had wanted to be able to support Sirius and himself once they got out of that hell-hole. Before James had met him, he had already admired the man. If anyone knew anything about self-sacrifice it was James, but he knew he couldn’t let one of his best friends in the world throw it all away. 

He had seen Remus happy, and he knew it was his best-friend-duty to at least try to talk him out of the mindset he had put himself in. James had done it before, when it had come to his writing and what they had first imagined for their films or the score. However, this was a different case entirely. This was Remus’s love life and James of all people knew how touchy of a subject that was. If Remus was a fortress, the highest walls of it would be surrounding his heart. 

James forces himself to turn his back to the magnet in the other room he could barely tear his eyes away from to focus back at the task at hand.

“I… I know how you feel.” James says honestly. He does. He knows what it feels like to want to uproot everything he’s ever known to live with the boy of his dreams in his fairytale cottage in the middle of nowhere. Remus pauses on the other end. 

“We’re falling for both of them, huh?” Remus asks gently. “I do believe I have eyes too.”

“Shut up, Peter and Lily already gave me the look when I went to the kitchen.” Remus laughs and James cracks a smile “The Black brothers have some kind of mythical power within them, huh? I swear, they don’t realize how much they're killing us.” 

“Yeah… maybe that’s a good way of putting it.” Remus sighs and shakes his head.

“How did we not see this coming?” James wonders aloud before amending that thought. “Well, in your case, Regulus said there were no men in his town."

“Yeah except his incredibly attractive older brother, who I just wanna keep kissing until my brain turns off - which is not hard with him by the way,” Remus says before he groans. “Oh fuck, I’m screwed aren’t I?”

“It seems like in more ways than one.”

“James, I’m being serious right now.” James snorts at this and Remus groans. “Oh my god I hate you.”

“You want my honest advice?” James asks after keeping himself from laughing. Remus agrees to James’s request and then he thinks for a moment. "Go knock on his door. Sleep with him again if you want, but… Remus, you’ve been so unhappy for so long. You love your work, I know you do, but you’ve been so unfulfilled recently. Not that your work has shown it, but your eyes have. You have been staying up later and skipping meals. You have been throwing yourself into anything that will keep your mind occupied with no regard or care for your own wellbeing. But then you met him and...Those pictures you’ve been sending me - of you with the kids, of you making hot cocoa with him...Remus - for once in your life you’re happy. It’s not the happiness you put on to make us feel better - there is pure joy in your eyes. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you look like that before. Don’t let that special something slip through your fingers. If he makes you happy, enjoy it and grab ahold of it. Don’t worry about the ending just yet. Let yourself kiss him until your brain turns off. Let yourself love him, even though you’re scared. Especially because you're scared. Do what makes you happy, because you’ve found your spark over there, Moony. Don’t lose it now.” Remus pauses for a moment before he takes a deep breath.

“Alright, but do me a favor?” Remus asks.

“Yeah. Of course. Anything for you," James replies effortlessly.

“Follow your own advice,” Remus says with a wink before hanging up. James stands in stunned silence for a moment.

“That was quite a speech you just made.” James quickly whips around to see the other Black brother leaning against the wall behind him with two wine glasses in his hand. He offers James one of them and James takes it gratefully. “I thought you weren’t feeling much romance right now?"

“Yeah, well maybe someone changed my mind,” James says with a smile. He watches Regulus’s eyes widen for a minute. 

“Are you flirting with me, Potter?” He asks, trying to hide his smile. James tries not to let it show how much that response excites him, but knows he’s failing.

“Would it bother you if I was?” James asks, taking a step forward. Regulus bites his lip.

“I don’t mind,” Regulus says softly. “As long as this is not a rebound.” Regulus gives him a look. “I’ve watched my brother self-sabotage enough for a lifetime to know what can happen. Don’t you dare do that to yourself. That’s painful to watch with Sirius, and I couldn’t bear to see you-”

“-Hey,” James put his hand over Regulus's, which was now resting on the counter. He softly brushes his fingers over the other boy's fingers, letting it graze his skin. Regulus’s hand was soft under his touch. James feels a jolt course through his body at the contact. He pauses for a moment, surprised at the electricity coursing between them. James had been through plenty of relationships before. He knew what a spark felt like, but this one seemed to be a roaring ember. How had he not noticed it forming? “I wouldn’t do that to you. I also will add that I have the increased pressure that your brother would kick my ass."

“You act like he already wouldn’t if he was in this room right now,” Regulus challenges, raising his eyebrows.

“Touche,” James says with a small chuckle. “You’ve got me there.” He knows he should move his hand away, but he’s enjoying the static too much. He was attracted to the light within the other man’s eyes, and he was finally getting a taste of it.

“But about Remus... it’s late over there and he’s asked to talk to you alone. Are he and Sirius okay? Please tell me he’s not freaking out alone,” Regulus asks, obviously concerned. James squeezes his hand gently.

“Actually, he’s at your brother’s right now.” Regulus raises his eyebrows at the correction and swirls his glass.

“Oh… so more shagging for them then? Sirius gave me the impression earlier that they were done with that little escapade.”

“Well, it may have been an escapade then, but it seems to be a lot more now.” Regulus’s eyes rise from his glass to look up into James’s. There was a questioning look in them and they began to narrow. Regulus tilts his head slightly, reminding James of a confused puppy. He smiles despite himself. “Reggie, I’m pretty damn sure Remus is in love with your brother - and maybe even worse for the both of them - Sirius is most definitely in love with him.”

“Oh goodness, but… they… they nearly live across the world from each other.” Regulus says and pulls his hand away from James. Across the world…

“Yeah, that seems to be Remus’s main hesitation as well. Also the fact that Sirius has kids so if they do choose to pursue this further, there would be some difficult decisions in store for both of them.” James sighs. He looks up and notices Regulus has put some distance between them. 

No… don’t go across the ocean just yet. Don’t remind me that in a few days you’ll be back there and I’ll be here. Stay here for now. Please, stay.  

He walks closer to Regulus, taking subtle notice of the slight hitch in his breath. “Anyways...I told him to follow our example.”

“Oh yeah? And what would that be?” Regulus asks, with an eyebrow raised with a daring edge in his voice. God, he's so hot . James was going to throw himself off the Hollywood sign. 

James takes his hand again and starts pulling Regulus back towards the table. He throws his signature smile over his shoulder and notices Regulus’s features soften momentarily. James grins at the response before calling over his shoulder.

“Enjoying the moment while it lasts!”

***

If Sirius was honest, this was not how he had expected his evening to go. But god he wasn’t complaining. He had taken a quick shower and was now staring up at the ceiling contemplating what to do. Remus had been modest and declined his invite to follow him to bed, instead staying in the guest room. 

“What if Hope gets sick in the night and finds me there? We haven’t figured everything out yet, and I don’t want to confuse them,” Remus had said carefully.

Well, Sirius had figured it out. He had figured it out a while ago, if he was being honest with himself. He knew what he wanted was in the room down the hall and he was desperately gripping the sheets to keep his restraint in check. He knew he couldn’t come on too strong. James had warned him before he had taken Remus out on their first official date that Remus has high walls when it comes to his heart. Then that afternoon he had learned exactly why. But he also saw the Remus that he had today. He knew the Remus he had seen in those gardens. The one who had seen people staring and instead of moving away from Sirius had pulled him closer and given them a death glare. He had a taste of what it could be like to be loved by Remus and he wanted all of it. He wanted Remus, scars and all. He had felt it that night when he had opened the door. He had felt it when he had held his hand in the pub. He had felt it in the words exchanged in the restaurant the next day. He had felt it in the way Remus had looked at him last night. He had felt it that morning when Remus had kissed him, and that night behind closed doors. 

He had seen glimpses of what being loved by Remus could feel like. It had left its marks on his body, his heart and he felt it venturing down into his soul. Sirius wasn’t exactly sure he had the strength within himself to let him pass him by like all the others had. He was much different than the others. He was rare and his love shone out of him when he let it. He loved how Remus looked at him like no one else mattered in the world. Sirius had been wronged by the world and had taken to turning his collar to the wind, hoping it would stop biting at him. But Remus, in only a week, had walked up behind him and hugged him from behind. He had almost thought the wind had stopped, but it hadn’t. He had only held him through it, and Sirius had let him. Sirius didn’t want to stop letting him. He wanted to turn around within his embrace, bury his head in his chest and stay like that for the rest of their days. No matter if the wind should turn and Remus slumps up against him in fear of his own wind. He wanted to hold him through his as well and do his best to protect him. He had a feeling that as long as he looked into those eyes for the rest of his days, he’d never feel the full bite of the cold ever again.

He hears a knock on his door that ceases his inner monologue. He sits up in confusion. It was a heavier knock, which meant it was either Tonks or Remus. His heart obviously longed for the latter, but his rational brain supplied that it must be the former. That was worrying, seeing as it was two in the morning. He quickly rushes to the door and throws it open. He feels his heart surge in his chest as Remus Lupin stood there in Sirius's sweatpants that he had given him earlier and bare chest on full display. Sirius tries not to stare and looks up into his eyes.

“Is everything alright?” Sirius asks softly. 

“Yeah, I was just… I was wondering if that offer from earlier was still an option?” Remus asks back, just as soft. He watches Remus play with his hands anxiously. Sirius smiles and reaches out to grab one of them. He yanks Remus in with a grin and Remus stumbles in surprise. He laughs softly as Sirius shuts the door behind them. 

“Do you have a preference about which side you’re on?” Remus wraps his arms around him from behind and Sirius lets himself close his eyes for a moment.

“No, do you?” Remus asks. Sirius nearly melts back against Remus’s chest. Stay there. Hide me from the wind. Please… Sirius’s heart begs him to say those words, but he pushes them aside. Don’t come on too strong. Don’t scare him away.

“No, but my phone is charging on the left, so I suppose I should go there,” Sirius says, feeling his voice shaking slightly. Remus squeezes him tightly before letting him go. 

“Fair enough.” They get into bed and Sirius realizes he isn’t sure what they should be doing. He stays still on his side before he hears a soft sigh.

“Padfoot?” Remus asks sleepily.

“Yes, Moony?”

“Do you want me to spoon you, or do you want me to hold you towards me?” And Sirius thinks he could die right there.

“What are you more comfortable with?” Sirius asks softly. The blankets shift and soon there is a warm presence against his back. He feels Remus’s arms wrap around his waist. Alright, this? I was wrong earlier when I thought I was seeing the angels. This right here - this is heaven.

“You liked me holding you earlier like this, but feel free to turn around at any point,” Remus whispers in his ear and Sirius feels himself shiver. Remus chuckles softly and pulls him closer to him. “Shhh, rest, alright? I’m here,” Sirius bites his lip, trying not to cry. 

Oh god, this. I want this. I need this. I need you, Remus. Don’t let go. Don’t let go. Don’t let go.

“Okay… just don’t let go, please,” He verbalizes the chant in his head. He feels Remus’s head land softly on his shoulder and a secure squeeze on his waist. Remus doesn’t respond, but Sirius takes this action as the reassurance he was craving. He lets himself close his eyes. It was the safest he had ever felt.

Chapter Text

“Reggie, come in here!” James calls from the other room. “I think I’ve finally figured out my dad’s theme!” Regulus enters the studio where James is working with his keyboard. It was a small room, which surprised him for a film composer.

“It always starts here,” He told Regulus when showing him around. “This keyboard… Well, this is where the physical music starts anyway. Of course the music starts long before then, especially when inspired by a person, but.”

“Have you written everything on that keyboard?” Regulus asked. 

“Nearly. Remus bought me a replacement since one of the keys was sticking on my old one for Christmas last year. But it’s the same set up, so I don’t have to get too sentimental.” He started up the program and Regulus had volunteered to make them some drinks.

"Tea?” Regulus asks and James takes it gratefully. He takes a sip before letting his head fall back dramatically.

“Mhmm,” He hums. “God, I swear you and Remus should have a tea-off. I don’t know how I always mess it up, but it never tastes this good.” Regulus smiles to himself knowing that he added a pinch more milk to James’s on a whim.

“Glad you like it.”

“Yes… but anyways!” He puts his cup down and begins to play. “I think I want it to sound like this.” It was an upbeat and lively tune. Regulus bobs his head slightly to it and James does as well. “It’s supposed to sound like something you can dance to, you know. My dad is kinda that person who could suck you onto a dance floor in a second. He’s like your brother charisma-wise when he wants to be. I know it kinda sounds a bit like my mom to me, but I figured he’d like that touch."

“That’s perfect. I’m sure he’ll love it.” James smiles. 

“Glad you think so.” He finishes the melody and then pauses.

“I… I might have written one that sounds like you too.” Regulus’s eyebrows raise in surprise. 

“You did?” Regulus asks in surprise, putting his cup down. 

“Yeah… If you were a melody Regulus… I think you would sound like this,” He begins a tune that’s a bit more mellow and calm. The melody slowly gets a bit higher and rises to a slight crescendo, before gracefully fading back down.

It reminds Regulus of when Sirius and him were kids and they would sneak out of their family's summer home late at night. They would run around the grounds, knowing the housekeeper wouldn’t tell a soul. He could almost see them running down the hill. Mud would smear all over their clothes, but they didn’t care. He closes his eyes, hearing him and Sirius laughing in the melody. It was one of the only times in their childhood he remembers enjoying. Just him and Sirius. 

He smiles sadly. When he was younger, he always thought him and Sirius were complete opposites, but as they had gotten older, Regulus had only started to see similarities between the two of them. 

Sirius had always put on this rebellious air. He had tattoos, leather jackets and owned a motorcycle in university. He still had it. It hadn’t been ridden in a while, but Regulus remembered when he had put him on it for the first time. He was clinging on for dear life, but he knew Sirius wouldn’t let him fall. He knew he never had. 

Sirius was a performer at heart, and would put on a show knowing that Regulus would die if all those eyes fell on him. He’d take the fall. He’d do anything for him, and he knew deep down that if he was in his brother’s shoes he would’ve done the same thing. 

He feels a pang of guilt in his stomach as he remembers the last time they called he had yelled at him for sleeping with Remus. Remus who seemed to be doing nothing but make him happy… he should call him to check in… He should’ve done that a while ago.

“I only used the good notes,” James says with a small smile and Regulus feels his heart melt. James holds eye contact and his smile widens. Regulus feels butterflies rise in his stomach. 

“I understand why people love your films so much.”

“Yeah?” James asks, the melody slowly floating into silence.

“It’s hard to explain, I suppose. But you’re great at…making people feel things, you know?” James’s eyes light up. “I mean, that entire time all I could remember was me and Sirius when we were kids and… when we felt untouchable for only a moment.” He smiles sadly. “Most people when they look at me, they see what my parents made me. They see the reservation, the people pleasing doormat that my brother says I should toss to the side. I guess he’s right, but… you saw the person I was when I was a kid. I don’t know how you saw all that after a few days. I… that only proves to me how good at this you are. I can imagine you do Remus’s characters justice - and I’m sure that’s what your dad saw back then too."

“That is the biggest compliment you could’ve given me.” Regulus laughs softly. 

“I mean it,” Regulus says, nudging him gently. He lifts his gaze from his hands to the boy next to him on the piano bench. “You’re really good. Like - should definitely get more credit kind of good. I don’t understand how you and Remus aren’t household names.” James laughs and Regulus can’t help but smile wider.

“Stop saying those things. You’re gonna make me kiss you.” Regulus freezes and watches James realize what he said.

“I… I mean… Fuck, don’t tell Padfoot I said that he’ll kill me.” Regulus laughs, breaking the tension. 

“Are you really that scared of my brother? I mean, I know he’s a bit rough and tumble sometimes, but…”

“He’s your big brother and I know practically first hand how awful your parents were. He practically is your parent.” Regulus sighs.

“I… I know. He had to grow up really fast. We both did. You know I hated him when he left for like - a good month or so. I thought he was abandoning me. I was angry even when I had refused to go with him. I guess… I guess I never really thought he’d go. I never really thought there was a life where our parents weren’t controlling every aspect to our lives like some demented puppeteers.. I didn’t believe we’d ever be free of them. Then I saw him get out and how much happier he looked and I… Well, I was jealous for a while. I regretted never going with him. A part of myself still does, but I got lucky. I was still able to get out. They didn’t have time to change the will before they passed and give it to our cousins or something. I knew that losing the money, which is why I stayed in the first place, was a gamble when I ran. Sirius did too, but he said he didn’t care. He said he’d take care of me and help give me the life we both should’ve had for as long as he possibly could. I guess… I guess that’s why I want him and Remus to work out so badly. He’s been taking care of others his entire life. He deserves someone to take care of him for a change. I think… from the way you have presented him to me at least, that Remus needs someone who will open him up and remind him to live. I think Sirius is perfect for that, but he needs someone to take the weight of the world off of his shoulders for a little bit and give him all the love they possibly can.”

“I think both of you deserve that,” James says softly. Regulus slowly feels James’s fingers brush his own. He feels his breath hitch slightly before he lets them intertwine with James’s. James’s breath sucks in for a moment and Regulus looks over in surprise. He sees James looking at their hands with a soft blush on his face before his face breaks into a grin. “Can… Can I take you out tomorrow?”

“We have your dad’s event tomorrow,” Regulus reminds him, trying to bite back a smile. This beam of sunlight… 

“Well, before then, of course... How about a lunch date?”

“Date?” Regulus asks and James squeezes his hand. 

“Date,” He confirms, and Regulus watches his eyes quickly flicker around his face. “If… if that’s alright with you?”

“Yes,” Regulus blurts out before covering his face quickly. “Oh god. That sounded really eager, didn't it?” James chuckles sheepishly.

“I don’t mind… I’m pretty excited too…” Regulus slowly lowers his hands from his face. “I… I have been for a bit now.” He looks at the man next to him anxiously running a hand through his hair and he smiles.

“Then yes. I’d love to go on a date with you.”

“Even if your brother will kill me?” Regulus laughs and looks down where James is taking his hand again.

“He won’t kill you.” 

“ Eh , he may.”

“Not if you treat me right,” Regulus lets himself lean into the romantic atmosphere for a moment. He moves closer to the man next to him. His heart stutters in his chest as he watches James’s gaze flicker to his lips for a second.

“Hmm…I think I can do that…” James says in a low voice, flipping the tables in an instant. Regulus isn’t sure if he wants to throw himself under the table and scream into his hands, or into the arms of the man next to him. Christ, this man was the hottest person on the planet and Regulus was going on a date with him tomorrow. How the actual shit did that happen?

***

“Regulus! I wasn’t expecting a call from you tonight,” Sirius says happily. 

It was about 10pm and the kids were asleep. Well, all except Tonks, he was sure, but he knew better than to pressure them. They didn’t need that pushing anymore, not like they ever did from him. Tonks had always been so independent, and happy to be so. It reminded him a lot of Regulus when they were kids. Where he would process his grief among others, Regulus was always more of a private person who would mourn on his own. 

Tonks wasn’t shy by any means - that attitude had the disinherited Blacks all over it - but there were moments when they were all Regulus, and it ached inside Sirius in a way he wasn’t sure would ever go away. Even after all that time he had tried to protect him, he knew he hadn’t been able to save him entirely from the world. It always made him feel a bit like he had failed, even though he knew he had done the best he could. It didn’t stop the feelings from overwhelming him at points though. He swallows back the lump in his throat.

“Well it’s the afternoon over here. Look, I need your advice,” Regulus says, sounding somewhat frantic.

“Advice?” Sirius asks, a bit intrigued by this turn of events.

“Remember how I made a joke about finding James attractive?”

“…I believe so?” Sirius says. Although he had a vague memory of that comment, he remembered it being overshadowed by the entire fact he was sleeping with Remus thing…

“Well, it wasn’t a joke, and now he’s gone and asked me out to lunch tomorrow and I think I may die," Regulus rambles.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down.” Sirius laughs and leans back in his chair. It creaks slightly and his brain takes him back to the last time he heard it creak like that. When Remus had pushed it back before… “So you’re going on a date with James Potter?”

“…yes?”

“You sound unsure,” Sirius says with a chuckle.

“No. I am. It’s only… you’re not angry with me are you?”

“Angry?” Sirius scoffs lightly. “What on earth are you talking about?”

“Well, James was your friend first.”

“Reggie, we’re not in primary school. This is James, and I know how James works when it comes to romance all too well.” Sirius takes a deep breath. “Reggie, all I’ve ever wanted for you is to have someone date you who realizes how incredible you are - and values that. I want you to be appreciated, and loved for who you are, not for what someone thinks they can get from you. I believe James can do that if you let him and want him too.” 

“…oh.” Sirius smiles at this. “I… Sirius you know I don’t do sentimentality. What do you want me to say to that?” Sirius laughs.

“Dear brother, you know you are much more of a sappy romantic than I am.” 

“I am not!” Regulus says defensively and Sirius smiles, shaking his head. “But… you’re not mad?"

“No. I’m happy for you and James. Tell him at dinner though if he breaks your heart I’ll break his neck. History aside, you are still my baby brother.” Regulus snickers.

“I… I do think he knows that.”

“Mhmm, good.” He smiles to himself as Regulus continues to laugh. “You did want advice though?”

“Oh… yeah… ummm. He wants to take me to lunch. How… how formal of a lunch place do you think that’ll be?”

“For a first date with him? Hmm… I’d wear a nice pair of jeans and maybe a jumper of some sort. That’s a safe bet. Just in between.”

“Mhmm, I think I have a jumper buried in my clothes somewhere. I’ll have to find that.”

“A long sleeve shirt or a button up could also work - I know you have more of those. However, I’m sure Remus won’t mind if you steal one of his. He seems to have a never-ending supply. I swear that man is wearing a new one every time I see him.” Regulus snorts.

“Speaking of Remus, how is he? How are you two? We haven’t really talked that much since a quick text back and forth at Christmas.”

“I know, I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. I… we’re good. I’ve been busy with work, so we haven’t gotten to talk too much today. I am reading his story right now as a project to break up the monotony of work, and god… it’s really incredible. The character development… the dialogue - oh and don’t even get me started on the description. He can’t take a bloody compliment, but it’s so well done.” 

“He seems like the overly modest type from what James has told me. He says his scripts are incredible, but he never gives himself enough credit for them,” Regulus agrees. “But how are things between two… you never really answered that part of the question.” Sirius takes a deep breath.

“Honestly… I’ve been wondering the same thing,” Sirius says softly. “I… I’m pretty sure I’m in love… but he’s going back to L.A. tomorrow and… I… I’m afraid of the kids getting attached and I know I could make long distance work. It would hurt like hell, but I’d do it for him.” Sirius swallows hard, feeling the lump from earlier coming back. “It sounds so cheesy, but I’ve never felt like this in my life. I… We always knew I fell in love fast… but this isn’t my children, this is… this is potentially a partner. I want him to be my partner but… if I’m being frank I am absolutely terrified that I’m going to tell him how I feel, and he’s going to leave me. So… I haven’t said anything.”

“Sirius…” Regulus says gently and Sirius laughs sadly. 

“You’re going to tell me I’m being pathetic.”

“I’m not,” Regulus says with a sigh. “I… I understand. You love with all of you, Sirius. You always have… and I think from what I’ve heard from both you and James… you two could be very good for each other. You could balance each other out. However, that would require him letting you in, and he can’t do that if you don’t tell him.”

“I know, trust me, I do, but, I… What if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“If he doesn’t, I’ll be back home before you know it and we can cry about our forbidden foreign love affairs together.” Sirius laughs with a small sniffle. 

“Do… Do you think he’s still up?"

“It’s umm… like 10:15 there right?”

“Yeah?”

“He’s a writer. You and I know better than anyone that we work on odd hours. Go to him. Tonks can handle the house for a bit while you’re out. They're always trying to prove to you they can handle themselves and their siblings.”

“You really think that’s a good idea? You’re not usually on board for impulsive actions.”

“Well, not usually, but love fueled impulsivity is the best kind. Did he leave anything at your house?” Sirius bites back a smile.

“I stole one of your tupperware containers.”

“So bring that back to him. Use that as an excuse… and Sirius, tell him. If all goes wrong at least you’ll know. It’ll hurt a lot, but you won’t be left forever wondering if you could’ve lost something wonderful.”

“Yeah… you’re probably right.”

“I usually am.”

“Oh piss off,” Sirius laughs. “Alright. Enjoy your date tomorrow, and tell me everything.”

“I expect to know how it goes between you two as well.”

“Fair enough. I love you, Reggie.” Sirius was expecting a sarcastic remark or huff that signified rolled eyes. Instead, he hears a soft sigh over the receiver.

“I love you too. Take care of yourself, big brother.” The call ends and Sirius sits there stunned for a moment, feeling tears rise to his eyes. He looks up at the ceiling and laughs softly to himself.

“Oh god… I haven’t even gotten to Remus’s and I’m already crying.”

***

Remus was restless. He had read most of the day, and resisted blowing up Sirius’s phone for the rest of it. It was now the night before he was due on a plane back home and he wanted nothing more than to run over to Sirius’s house and fall back into the warmth of his arms. He kicked himself internally, knowing he was putting distance between them for both of their sakes. 

It was for the best. It had to be, right? He didn’t want to watch the look on Sirius’s face when he would leave for the last time. He couldn’t bear the thought of the hurt on his face when he realized, just as Remus had recently, that this could never last forever. It was too wonderful - too good - and Remus was bound to fuck it all up. He couldn’t do that to him. Not when Sirius was far too good to be hurt that way.

Just as he’s about to go upstairs for the night, a knock sounds on the front door. He pauses for a moment, before rushing to it. His carefully crafted restraint and ‘don’t you dare’ talks left on the stairs. He throws open the door and sees the man he’s been longing for all day standing back on his stoop.

“Hey, I know you’re leaving tomorrow, and it’s late, but, I never returned this and I think my brother may be upset if I don’t and-“ Remus leans forward and kisses him. Sirius freezes for a moment before kissing him back. Remus pulls him inside and Sirius drops the tupperware on the ground.

“You could’ve just said you wanted to see me,” Remus says breathlessly, quickly removing Sirius’s coat as he takes off his shoes.

“Well, I thought that I may be coming on too strong.” Sirius shuts the door and Remus quickly backs him against it.

“Mhmm, I would argue I’m the one probably doing that,” Remus admits with a small chuckle, but doesn’t have it within him to back away. He hears Sirius latch the door with a small click.

“Eh, I don’t mind it.” Sirius puts a hand on Remus’s chest over his heart. Remus wonders if he can feel how hard it was pounding against his palm. 

“No?”

“No. You’re full of surprises, Remus Lupin.” He reaches up and cups Remus’s cheek. Remus feels his breathing still for a moment as his eyes stay entirely within Sirius’s silvery gaze. "Keep on surprising me,” Sirius whispers and kisses his forehead. 

Remus makes a kind of whining sound before kissing him again. Sirius chuckles against their lips and Remus pulls him off the door. He starts leading him upstairs and Sirius follows willingly. They practically trip over each other’s feet as they reach the bedroom, laughing and falling back onto the bed together. 

For a moment, Remus doesn’t let himself think. He lets himself feel. He lets himself explore Sirius for a moment without the nagging sensation in the back of his mind telling him to stop. He lets himself hold him within his arms. For once he lets himself love where he is. He lets himself love the man tangled up in his arms. 

If only he knew what would happen an hour later, he would’ve stayed in that moment longer. He would’ve held on tighter… he would’ve… well… he would’ve said anything at all...

Chapter Text

Small Key:

Regulus

Lily

~~~

“Can I ask you something?” Remus asks softly. His eyes were closed and he was practically falling asleep on Sirius’s chest. Remus couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this comfortable with another person in his life. Sirius’s fingers gently run though Remus’s hair and he feels himself practically melting into the other man’s touch.

“Anything,” Sirius replies, just as gently as Remus had spoken before. His honesty hits a chord in Remus and he sighs, turning his head to breathe him in more. He had gotten used to the scent of Sirius and felt a small pang in his gut that in a few short hours he’d be without it once again.

“How much do you remember from our first time?” Remus asks. This question had been rattling around in the back of his mind for a while now. They had barely talked about that night after their meeting in the doorway.

“Honestly?.. Everything.”

“Pads, that’s impossible,” Remus says with a small chuckle. “You were pretty drunk.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“You threatened to piss on my stoop.”

“I honestly really had to go pee,” Sirius admits with a laugh. Remus hugs him around his torso and sighs happily. Sirius hums softly, adjusting to the feeling of Remus’s arms around his body. He continues running his fingers gently through Remus's hair and Remus closes his eyes again. “But I showed up that night because Regulus had just gotten his heart broken. I thought if I showed up claiming to be drunk, then he’d be forced to at least talk to me about it in the morning. But then I showed up and it was you… and I guess it was easy for you to think I was drunk because I made reference to it, but I… I was never drunk.”

“But you kept tripping over yourself,” Remus disputes him.

“So were you somewhat that night, I do recall. Also forgive me for seeing the hottest man in my life in my brother’s house and not knowing what to do with myself.” Remus blushes, hiding more in the other man’s chest.

“I’m not that beautiful… but glad we had the same thought.”

“I fully disagree with the earlier sentiment.” Remus smiles to himself and plants kisses over Sirius’s torso before the news sets in. 

“Oh god…” He leans back onto his back and covers his face. “I tried to do that as a way to punish myself - because I absolutely thought I couldn’t have you - and I couldn’t even do that right.” Sirius laughs and he feels him gently pushing his hands away from his face.

“Maybe you’re not meant to self sabotage then, Moons.” He says gently, leaning over Remus’s chest. 

“Maybe…” Remus says softly, alarm bells ringing in his head as he looks from Sirius’s eyes towards his lips.

“What are your plans in L.A.?” He gently cups Remus’s cheek with his hand. 

“I’m crashing at James’s for a bit. I don’t want to kick Regulus out.”

“Honestly, Regulus may not mind being kicked out. Him and James are going on a date tomorrow.”

“Oh, James didn’t tell me that.”

“Yeah, for lunch. Called me a bit ago to ask for some advice.”

“Huh… Guess I’ll have the house to myself for a bit then.” Remus says, a bit disappointed at the prospect. He didn’t really want to be left alone with his thoughts after a flight leaving Sirius behind.

“Or you could just stay here a bit longer,” Sirius suggests softly, rubbing Remus’s cheek with his thumb. 

“I wish I could, but won’t that make things more..?"

“If you are about to say complicated, I think we are far past complicated.” 

“Ugh. We are, aren’t we?” Remus grimaces, covering his face again. Sirius chuckles. 

“It doesn’t need to be complicated if we don’t want it to be. It can actually be quite simple if we make it that way...” He feels Sirius run a finger down his chest. Heat rises to the surface that Sirius’s touch has left behind. Remus groans internally at his own body betraying him. 

“We’re across an ocean, Sirius, and you have the kids. It will always be complicated.” 

“Well how about this.” Sirius sits up next to him and Remus removes his hands from his face. “I’m in love with you.” Remus feels his eyes widen and his breath hitch. Oh god, did I hear that right? Oh fuck. This can’t be happening.

“I apologize for the blunt delivery… but as problematic as this fact may be… I am in love with you. And I’m not feeling this because you’re leaving. And not because it makes me feel good to feel this way - which it does but. You told me you don’t love like other people, and I honestly don’t think I do either. Until you came along I thought I was broken because I could never imagine living my life with someone else, but... I’ve never wanted to be loved by another person like this in my life and - I know my life is so complicated with three kids and an entire business counting on me… but for once in my life I know what I want. And what I want is you.” 

Remus feels like he’s going to throw up and an extreme throbbing rise up in his chest. His mind was screaming at his heart to shut up and calm down as the blood rushed to his ears. He almost reaches up to cover them in hopes it’ll make it stop. He loves you. He wants you. Remus, he wants you. Are you really about to break his heart? 

Remus feels another chest spasm as he feels himself helplessly asking, What other choice do I have?

“And… you remaining silent isn’t exactly the reaction I was hoping for,” Sirius admits sheepishly. Remus sits up and faces him.

“No, sorry. I…I just wasn’t expecting an I love you… I’m… I’m trying to find the right thing to say,” Remus stumbles out.

“I… I think if the obvious response doesn’t immediately come to you… Then - well - we can just talk about something else. Like possibly what a complete ass I am.” Sirius lays back down on his back and looks up at Remus with an apology in his silver eyes. No, no, no. Tell him. You fucking idiot. Say something!

“I…” Remus can’t find the words and grimaces to himself.  

I’m sorry. I can’t…

“As I do recall, you did promise me you wouldn’t fall in love with me,” Sirius continues.

“Shh, shhh.” Remus feels himself practically begging him. 

“I guess I just wasn’t listening. Regulus says I do that sometimes where I just assume and I don’t think and I act and I’m just so sorry I-”

“-Shhh,” Remus gently presses his finger to his lips. “I’ve never met someone who anxiously rambles as much as me.” Sirius smiles sadly. Remus feels his chest spasm again and he takes a shaky breath in. "Look, whatever I’m feeling doesn’t matter. I’m leaving in the morning - and I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”

“Remus,” Sirius begs softly. Remus shakes his head, closing his eyes, trying not to see the pain within the other man’s eyes.

“Sirius, I can’t. I’m sorry, but… For now, can we just… be. Please? I leave soon and I just want… oh god. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ask anything from you, but I just- I want to let myself pretend you were ever mine. And it’s not fair to you but-”

“-And I’m the anxious rambler?” Sirius asks with a smirk, but it doesn’t completely reach his eyes. He pulls Remus towards him and Remus kisses him deeply. Sirius kisses him back, but Remus finds himself wondering if his heart is really in it anymore. Was he just appeasing Remus because he was just that kind or… or was his love for him giving him what he wanted, even if it was hurting him… the latter was infinitely worse for Remus than Sirius feeling nothing at all.

Remus’s chest continues to throb in the pattern of three words, and he knew they weren’t the three words he should’ve been saying. 

I’m sorry, Sirius...

I love you too...

***

“So do you enjoy your job?” James asks before taking another bite of his food. He had brought him to a nice Italian place. It wasn’t too upscale, so he was grateful for his brother’s advice. Jeans and a jumper served him just fine. Well, maybe it was more than fine because James had grinned brighter than the sun when he saw him. The grin had barely slid away from his face.

“In what way?” Regulus asks, taking a sip of his drink, trying to hold back his own smile.

“If you’re asking me in what way, I can assume the answer is no,” James says with a chuckle. “I just mean, I talk about my job all the time because I enjoy it. You barely talk about yours.”

“Well, the writing part I love. I try to give the best advice I can, and it’s always rewarding when I get emails back from people that say 'you’ve really changed my life’ or something like that.” Regulus smiles and notices James doing the same. “I’ve always loved connecting with people. Though I’m not as naturally charismatic as Sirius, so I prefer doing it through my writing or an online presence in some way. I used to run the social media aspect at the journal until we hired someone separate for that.” James nods with a smile. “Your colleagues are great. Mine I can do without. Except Pandora. I love Pandora. She’s the only one who keeps me sane.”

“Oh right… didn’t you mention that awful ex being one of them?” Regulus groans.

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m supposed to do an entire column on marital bliss in January. Though I suppose it may be a bit easier now… I could probably give Monty a call for some help on that one.” James chuckles and reaches out his hand to rub Regulus’s own gently. He had been doing that all afternoon, taking Regulus’s hand and holding it within his own. He was starting to believe James’s words from yesterday. Maybe he did deserve this…

“If it involves anything around my mother, he’d be more than happy to answer.” 

“I’m sure.” Regulus says with a smile. Then James’s phone rings and he scurries to answer it.

“Hang on Remus, I’m in the middle of something right now. Did you make your...” His smile immediately falls into almost a glare as his voice trails off. “Listen, as I did say, I am in the middle of something.” Regulus flinches, never hearing James talk that sharply in his life. James notices and looks up at him with a conflicted look in his eyes. “Emmeline, now is not the time.” Regulus pulls his hand away in surprise. He watches a look cross over James’s eyes that Regulus can’t completely read. 

“We… we should get the check.” Regulus says, looking to see if he can get the waiter’s attention.

“Reggie.” He puts the phone down on the table.

“No. No, it's fine. I’m leaving in a few days. She’s here. I should go.”

“I haven’t been talking to her. I don’t know where this is coming from,” He says, taking Regulus’s hand in his again. Regulus sees the desperation in his eyes, but it was different from the look he got with Barty when he had learned about him cheating. James was honest and he was confused. 

“What did she say?” 

“She just wants to talk. I don’t know what the hell she thinks there is to talk about,” He mutters.

“Do you want to know?” Regulus asks.

“I mean, of course I’m curious. But-”

“Then go get your closure, James. I’ll only be here a few more days - and I want you to be happy. So go on and figure it out. I’ll be okay.” James swallows hard and shakes his head.

“Reggie-”

“I mean it.” He squeezes his hand before letting it go, hoping the other man can’t feel it shaking.

“I won’t be gone long, but. She’s in the next town over. Do you mind driving my dad to the event though?” James asks worriedly. “I promised him I would, but… just in case I won’t make it.” 

“Yeah. Yeah of course. Just let me know if you can make it, okay?”

“Yeah.” James pulls out his wallet and Regulus shakes his head.

“No, I’ll pay.”

“Regulus,” James gives him a look. 

“You can pay me back later if you insist. But I’ve got this. Go ahead.” James smiles thankfully before leaving. He hears the door jingle and takes a deep breath to steady himself as he gets the check. He sends a text to Lily before rubbing his forehead, hoping to ease the ache forming behind his eyes.

Hey, do you mind picking me up? 

James had to run off.

In the middle of your date? Is everything okay?

Yeah, Emmeline called. 

THE FUCK?

I told him to go.

??? 

Know what, you are definitely getting picked up by me now. I need to know what on earth was going through your head.

Thanks, Lils. See you soon.

Regulus puts his face in his hands and groans.

***

Regulus was sincerely regretting all his life choices. Starting with getting Lily’s number and ending with this entire holiday idea entirely. As much as he appreciated her talking about how much she would kill James when he next saw him and telling Regulus he should value himself more, all he wanted was to go home and have a good cry. 

He was wondering if Remus would mind if he flew back tonight. I mean, his brother had gone over to his place last night and both had been silent since, so he had assumed that all was well. If it was going well, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know how well. Maybe Remus could crash at his brother’s for a bit. But it didn’t feel right. He couldn’t kick Remus out of the house he had given to him. He groans pacing the foyer before his eyes land on a package that had been left abandoned. 

Barty’s pages. He hadn’t even looked at them since they came because of James… James who was probably off snogging Emmeline. 

Oh god… No. He was not going to cry again. He had already spent the last hour doing that, including in Lily’s car, and had reminded himself not to call his brother or Pandora. Sirius was busy and Pandora had texted earlier that she was going out for the night. He wasn’t going to ruin either of their evenings with his love life woes. 

He tears open the pages and walks over to the living room, grabbing a pen off of the coffee table. He pauses remembering the last time he used it was to write down the guest list for Monty’s party… Christmas felt so long ago now. Like it was another lifetime Regulus had lived, but never fully experienced.

Then his phone rings.

“Hello?” He asks, hoping to hear James on the other line. Anything that would tell him that his spiral was irrational and that maybe Lily’s ranting had gotten through to him. 

“Well there’s the voice I was hoping to hear. I was starting to think you’d forgotten about me.”

“Barty,” He sits up more in his seat. “I was just about to start reading your pages. Of course I haven’t forgotten about you. I’ve just been busy, that’s all.”

“Mhmm,” Barty says almost knowingly. He hears a breeze in the background and wonders where on earth Barty would be right now. He lived in London and he didn’t exactly hear any tell-tale signs.

“You sound far away,” Regulus says, opening his pen. 

“I would argue I’m not the one who’s fading away.”

“No, you know what I meant.” He hears some talking in the background. 

“I’ve sent you a surprise,” Barty says and Regulus pauses in his reading.

“A surprise?”

“You haven’t seen it?” Barty asks and Regulus puts down his pen and the pages. 

“No?”

“Well when did you get back?” Regulus gets up from his seat. 

“Like an hour or so ago. A friend dropped me off. Are you sure it’s here?”

“I’m sure,” Barty says with a chuckle and Regulus feels his stomach flip.

“Alright, let me check the gate then. One moment.” He opens the door and freezes. “Oh…” And there he was. The man Regulus had run across the world to avoid seeing. Barty smirks, holding a present in his hand. 

“Surprise.”

Chapter Text

Remus bites his lip, knowing if he does any harder he will draw blood. Sirius had his back to him and had been asleep for a while now. Remus thinks maybe he’ll sleep on the plane. But he knew deep down his mind was racing too fast for that. His chest spasms again and he bites back a whimper. 

It hurt so much. He could feel his chest throbbing and his heart banging against his ribcage so hard he wondered if you could break ribs from a broken heart. It stung behind his eyes, but every time he closed them all he could see was Sirius’s heartbroken face. How the light had faded from his eyes. He had done that. It was his fault. He put the man he loved more than anything in pain because he couldn’t tell him that he loved him too.

He grabs his chest and hisses in agony.  

I hurt him. I love him and I’m the reason he’s upset. Why can’t I just say it? Why can’t I at least try to make things work between us? Why am I so certain that this won’t work? He wants to make it work… Why can’t I? 

Remus feels his body start to tremble and his breathing comes up shorter. 

Sirius, oh god. Sirius. 

As if he hears his name in Remus’s mind, he hears the covers shift. Sirius’s arms wrap around his torso and his head nuzzles into Remus’s shoulder blade. Remus breathes in shakily. 

“I’m sorry,” He whimpers aloud and curls into himself. Sirius follows him and pulls him closer. “Sirius…” He puts his hands over Sirius’s and tries to steady his breathing. He looks at the clock in the corner of the room. 

Just two more hours… two more hours before his alarm would go off and signal the end of everything…

He closes his eyes to keep the pain out and feels another soft squeeze from Sirius. He didn’t know Sirius was this cuddly in his sleep. He had always fallen asleep before him…He wanted to know more. He wanted to know all those little details that made up the beautiful man next to him. But he couldn’t. Not anymore.

He closes his eyes tighter and lets Sirius’s touch ground him. 

Sirius…

***

“Yeah, yeah it is a surprise,” Regulus agrees. 

“Well?” Barty puts his arms out and Regulus hugs him. He feels a pang in his gut. It wasn’t how it felt when James had hugged him only a few hours earlier… something felt off now. Something felt… wrong. 

“Why are… what are you doing here?” Regulus asks. 

“I was just going to ask you that. How long have you been in this… humble abode.”

“Well the owner certainly is humble,” Regulus says, feeling the need to rise to Remus’s defense. “A week and a half-ish I think now?”

“Ah, can I come in?”

“Oh, yes, of course.” Regulus steps aside. 

A wine bottle is opened and Regulus makes a note to himself to stop by the liquor store tomorrow to renew Remus’s supply that he had depleted over his time there. He finds himself sitting next to Barty on the couch trying to make pleasant talk. 

“This place suits you,” Barty says, taking a look around. 

“Yeah, right,” Regulus rolls his eyes with a sad smile. He looks around the room and his eyes settle on a picture. Remus had his arms slung around James who looked like he was laughing. Everything here was James... If Barty wasn’t here, he was sure he would’ve gone and hid in his room by now. 

“Really… you look different here.” He felt different here. He knew that much. He had told James that in this room. The fuzzy moments of his past had indeed started to fade, until they were standing on his doorstep, expecting everything to be the same. Nothing was the same. 

“Reggie, look at me.” Regulus does, but feels a tug in his gut. “I came here to see you… I had too.” 

“Barty, I don’t understand why,” Regulus admits. “I mean I was right there for three years, remember? You didn’t need to chase me around the world once. You know, square peg and a round hole."

“What?” Barty asks with a kind of scoff. Another defensive reflex ignites in his gut.

“That’s what you said to me once. That we weren’t really right for each other. We were a square peg and a round hole…” He feels his voice become more unsteady under Barty’s eyes. He feels as if the ground beneath him is shaking and he clings on tighter to his wine glass. 

“I don’t remember that. I just know I didn't like when you were gone. I also have never checked my email more, it was driving me crazy that I wasn't hearing from you.” Regulus chuckles sadly.

“Careful, you’re starting to sound like you used to.”

“Well then maybe we should revisit how they used to be then.” Regulus swallows hard. A week or so ago he would’ve cheered to hear those words, but now there was this sinking feeling in his gut. For a moment Sirius’s face flashes in his mind from that Christmas party so long ago. That look of horror… 

“I don’t want to lose you,” He continued. 

So he stays in touch?... So that makes it impossible for you to forget him. Which is great for him, but sucks for you.

Regulus puts his drink down and sighs, hearing James’s words in his head.

“Lose me? This is too confusing…” He puts his face in his hands. Everything felt so wrong today. Yesterday was perfect. How had the tides changed so quickly? He had never wanted to run to his brother so much then he did at that moment. 

“I know… come here.” He gently holds him close and Regulus lets him. He lets himself believe it is Sirius holding him back in his childhood bedroom… lets himself imagine it’s James… “We should run away together. Maybe to Venice? You and I in Venice could be nice.”

“Do you mean that?” Regulus asks, looking at him. Hoping for once to be able to read someone like Sirius has always been able too. “I mean… are you free to do that?” He rubs’s Regulus’s arm.

“Oh Reggie, I’ve just traveled halfway across the world to see you, haven’t I?” Barty says effortlessly. He leans in to kiss him. Regulus pulls back, knowing a dodge when he sees one. His brother had helped him train that skill at the fundraisers he had been to by his side. He remembered Sirius giving him that look out of the corner of his eye. Don’t trust this one. He’s a liar.

“Yeah, that doesn’t exactly answer my question. So… Are you not with Evan anymore? Because when I asked you in the kitchen …you didn’t answer then either… I mean, is that what you’ve come here to tell me?” He could almost hear Lily cheering in his head at the look on Barty’s face. Got you. 

“I wish you could just accept knowing how confused I am about all this.” Regulus backs up even further on the couch. He felt as if he had been yanked out of a pool that he had been drowning at the bottom of for god knows how long. Well - maybe three years long. His eyes narrow. 

“Okay, so let me translate that for you.  You are still engaged to be married then?” He sharpens his gaze in the way he had honed in his parent’s house. He knew he probably looked a lot like his mother like this, and that made his stomach flip with anger. He shouldn’t have to use this gaze. He should be respected without it. He earned the truth by now, hadn’t he? 

“Yes… but I mean.” 

“Oh my god!” Regulus quickly gets up from the couch, feeling like he was going to puke. Oh my god, I almost helped Barty cheat on his fiance. STILL HIS FIANCE. UGH! How disgusting! 

“Okay, this was a really close call then.” He remembers what Lily and James had been telling him this entire week. What Sirius has been telling him his entire life… He deserved better than this. I deserve so much better than this. 

“You know what, I never thought I’d say this, literally never, but I think you were absolutely right about us. Very square peg - very round hole.”

“You cannot mean that.” Barty says leaning forward, like all of a sudden he’s realized how unwelcome of a visitor he truly is. 

"The great thing is, I actually do! And I’m about three years late in telling you this, but nevertheless I need to say it.” Regulus takes another deep breath, feeling like he is coughing the water from his lungs. “Barty, you have never treated me right.”

“Oh babe-”

“-NO!” Regulus storms, surprised at the strength of his own voice. “You broke my heart - and you acted like somehow it was my fault! That it was my misunderstanding and I was too in love with you to ever be mad at you. So I just punished myself - for years! But you waltzing in here on my lovely Christmas holiday, and telling me that you don’t want to lose me, whilst you’re about to get married somehow newly entitles me to say,” Regulus takes a deep breath in and feels the rest of the water evaporate from him. “It’s over.” Barty raises his eyebrows, but Regulus isn’t done quite yet. "This…this… twisted, toxic thing between us is finally finished! I’m miraculously done being in love with you!” Regulus laughs and starts walking out of the room to get Barty’s coat, hearing Barty chasing after him.

“I’ve got a life to start living,” He grabs his coat and practically throws it at him. “And you’re not going to be in it.”

“Reggie."

“Call me that again and I will let Sirius do what he’s been wanting to do to you for years.” He shuts up at this, with eyes widened. He used to think Barty’s fear of his brother was unwarranted, but he was sure Sirius would happily jump on the chance to beat this arsehole into a pulp. “Now I’ve got somewhere really important to be and you have got to get the hell out.” He opens the door for him and gestures towards it. “Now!” 

“What exactly has gotten into you?” Barty asks and Regulus grins. 

“I don’t know!” He pushes Barty out of the house. “But I think what I’ve got is slightly resembling… gumption!” He slams the door and squeals, reaching his hands up in the air. He feels the years of hopelessness slide off his shoulders and grins. He grabs his phone off the coffee table, chugs the rest of his wine and calls Pandora.

“Regulus, is everything okay?” She asks, and he can hear cheering going on in the background.

“Tell your cousin that Barty made the stupid decision to visit me in Los Angeles and try to convince me to get back with him.” Regulus rushes upstairs. He puts Pandora on speaker phone on the bed and starts to strip off his clothes for a quick shower. 

“HE WHAT?” Pandora practically screeches. “I’m with him right now. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. But he-”

“-Well tell him not to be stupid like I was. Don’t let him waste three years of his life on someone who will always look for love in another. He deserves better than that. I deserve better than that.”

“Okay, I need to meet this James, because where is this coming from? I can’t even explain how proud I am of you - but.”

“I don’t know. I think I just needed to get out of that damn office to realize how much more to life there is out of there.”

“Maybe you need to get out of there more often,” She says with a laugh.

“Or entirely… but that’s a question for another day. I have an event tonight, but I needed to call.”

“Enjoy your event - and send me pictures of James! I need to see this man.” Regulus sighs. 

“I’ll do my best. I don’t know if he’s making it tonight. Bye Pands!” She says goodbye back and Regulus looks at himself in the mirror as he runs the shower. If James really had gone back to her, he was going to make him regret ever taking his eyes off of Regulus. He knew he had asked him to go, but the ball was in James’s court. At the end of the day, it had been his decision to walk out. It was his decision who he chose.

However, tonight? Tonight was his choice. Tonight was for Regulus. 

He texts Lily quickly.

Just told my ex-boyfriend to go fuck himself.

Maybe I need more of your pep talks. 

Also - I am taking your advice. Dressing to the nines tonight. I want to see him drool. 

He smiles to himself and steps into the shower sighing happily. He realizes as he lets the warm water flow over him, he hasn’t texted his brother. He makes note of it to text him once he gets out. 

Sirius was right. Freedom did feel really damn good.

Chapter Text

Small Key:

Regulus

Sirius

~~~

Sirius splashes water on his face and sighs deeply. He tries desperately to rub it out of his skin. He takes a deep breath in an attempt to keep his tears from falling. 

He wants to erase all his memories from last night. He wants to forget how he had stared at the opposite wall as if in a dissociative state like he had been back in that place, before feeling the man next to him begin to shake. He wants to pretend he hadn’t felt how he had practically melted into Sirius’s arms. He wanted to erase the stake in his heart as he had whispered ‘I’m sorry’ into the air. 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Sirius wanted to yell. “You could have me!” He groans into the towel. He knew he wouldn’t do that, as much as he wanted to - and knew four years ago he probably would have yelled. I can’t ask you to love me, but I would like to know what on earth you’re sorry for. 

He swallows hard, gathering the broken pieces of his heart together before hearing a knock on the bathroom door.

“Sirius?” Remus asks softly.

“Yeah?” He asks back, trying to keep the hope from bubbling up in his stomach. Please change your mind.

“Can I leave the keys with you? I know when it gets really cold the pipes freeze and stuff. I’d feel like shit if your brother came back to that.”

“Yeah, of course.” Sirius leans against the door to center himself for a moment. He takes a deep breath before opening it. “I forgot that you weren’t always in L.A. like James so you’d know that stuff…Do you need to go to the restroom? It’s about an hour ride to Heathrow.” Remus shakes his head. 

“I went upstairs…” Sirius nods. He sees the suitcases packed up by the door and tries not to grimace. He looks back at Remus with what he hopes is a convincing smile. He watches Remus take a deep breath. “Okay, so we’re not going to make this a bigger deal than it already is.”

“No we’re not,” Sirius confirms. 

“It’s not like we won’t stay friends. I mean, you can fly out to L.A. to visit me and James with the kids anytime you’d like. We can still call or text or-”

“-No set rules,” Sirius says, feeling the lump in his throat growing and becoming harder to push down.

“So I’m not going to say goodbye, but… see you later.” Sirius nods and hears the identifying crunch of gravel under tires coming up the drive. 

“Take care of yourself, alright?” Sirius says, surprising himself at how steady his voice sounds. Must be all the years of being a parent. Remus nods.

“I’ll try.” Sirius chuckles.

“Better than nothing.” He goes over and grabs one of Remus‘s bags.

“Oh no, you don’t have too.”

“Please, you’re a guest.” Sirius says with a small smile. He sees a sad one with something else behind it fill Remus’s eyes.

“Fine,” He relents. Sirius helps him load up into the car. The boot closes and Sirius bites back a sigh. He turns to Remus with a smile. 

“Before I go…” He reaches out his arms. Sirius, against his better judgment, accepts the hug. “Thank you,” He whispers.

“For what?” Sirius asks, with a chuckle to keep himself from crying.

“For the best holiday ever.” 

He pulls away and squeezes Sirius’s shoulder before getting into the car. Sirius walks back to the house and waves as the car pulls away. The minute it fades from view, Sirius gasps as a sob escapes his mouth. He covers his mouth to keep it together. He quickly shuts the door and runs to the back door. He needed to get as far away from that moment as possible, but it was no use. He still heard everything. He still saw everything. He still felt everything.

He leans back against the door and lets himself fall to the ground. He brings his knees to his chest and lets it out. 

He had told Remus he was a weeper, but he wasn’t sure he had ever sobbed this hard in his life.

***

Remus watches the cottage fade into the background behind him and swallows hard. 

“Did you have a good holiday, sir?” The driver asks. Remus nods politely.

“Yes… maybe the best I’ve ever had,” He admits honestly. He opens up his phone to his plane ticket. 6am flight. Getting to Los Angeles at 5:15pm. Practically a red-eye, but not quite. He had originally hoped he could sleep on the plane, knowing he wouldn’t get much sleep the night before. If only he had known how awful the night before would be…

He closes out of the app and sees his Home Screen. He freezes, not knowing how he hadn’t noticed it was changed before. Originally it was a picture of him and James with ice cream from the past summer. He had given Teddy his phone for a moment to take a photo of him and Sirius by the fireplace with their hot chocolates, and there it was as his Home Screen. He must not have put it as his lock screen to keep it like a secret. Teddy had said he had left him a secret Christmas gift… Remus had almost forgotten about that completely. God he was such a brilliant kid. Teddy… Sirius…

Remus takes a shaky breath in feeling his chest spasming again. He bites his lip and closes his eyes. He slowly opens them again and almost panics, seeing the lights of the car as blurry, before realizing. Oh god… This can’t be happening can it? 

He feels the tears fall down his face and he slowly touches them. No this was real. It was absolutely real. 

He starts to laugh in surprise and sees the driver turn to look at him in the mirror, his confusion evident. Remus’s heart pounds in his chest and he pushes down the voice in the back of his head telling him this was the only thing to do. How could he possibly think that? When everything he’s ever wanted is back at that cottage right now. When Sirius had told him he loved him. He loved him, and god help Remus, he loved him back. He loved him so much it was exploding out of him in a way it hadn’t in thirteen years.  

“Turn around!” He calls out abruptly.

“Have you forgotten something?” The driver asks and Remus nods quickly.

“Yes, please, as fast as you can.” Remus practically bounces in his seat as the car makes a u-turn. They pull up to the cottage and Remus runs out of the car, hoping to god Sirius hadn’t locked the door yet. He hadn’t looked to check if his car was still in the driveway… Was he even still there? 

Remus quickly pushes the door open and sighs in relief.

“Sirius?!” Remus yells and tears through the house. Living room? Nope? Kitchen….“Oh god, please tell me you haven’t left. Please, please, please.” He whimpers to himself until he stumbles into the kitchen. He sees movement in the doorway and Sirius emerges from the back foyer. God he was so beautiful in his stupid lovely button up… His eyes were watering. Sirius… Sirius swallows hard and meets his gaze.

“Did… did you forget something?” He asks, voice cracking slightly, mirroring the cab driver’s question from earlier.

“Yes. Very much so… I. Sirius this has been the best holiday of my life. I… I don’t know what I’ve been thinking. I…” He laughs feeling some more tears come down his cheeks.

“Remus, what’s going on?” Sirius asks, wiping his own eyes with his sleeves. Remus feels the longing within his chest grow.

“You were right. I forgot something so important. This has been the best week and a half of my life. You - you made me find something I thought I had lost forever. I don’t think I’ve laughed or smiled like this since before my parents divorced. Sirius, I haven’t cried since, and here I am, sobbing because I feel like I’m leaving a part of me here. I am leaving a part of myself. I realized that if I left - I was leaving the only place I have felt safe in years. I’d be leaving home. You’re my home, Sirius. You’ve given me somewhere and someone to call home and I… I haven't had that in years... I’ve been searching for something more in everything I do and James called me out on that, but I…I already found that something more. And it’s you, Sirius. You’re you and you make it so effortless to see more in the world. It’s like: of course there’s something more out there because somewhere there is you." 

His gray eyes soften and Remus ventures to take a step towards the man his heart has been calling for since he had stepped into his life. “I...What I’m trying to say is, with you I’m finally home. And… I think there’s a little boy somewhere that’s looking for one as well. And if you and he will let me, I would love to adopt him.”

“What about overseas?” Sirius asks softly, bringing up the one thing that had kept Remus from teetering into his arms forever the night before. The place he had staked his claim before it caused him to have an entire mental breakdown.

“Sirius, I will make this work. I will do everything in my power. Hell, I’ll get a double citizenship if you want to raise the kids here. My next script is due in February and I have the time. I will make more time. I want more of your advice and just... Hell, I want more of you . I can and will stay as long as you’ll let me… if you’ll let me. I completely understand if not. Sirius, I am so incredibly sorry I almost walked out on all of this, but I will not leave now. Not if you still love me. Not if you still want me. Because… you really are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I-I didn’t say it last night because I was too terrified to know how - but… Sirius,” Remus takes a deep breath and feels his heart push against his ribcage again. He listens to it for once. “I’m in love with you too.”

Sirius surges forward at this and their lips meet. He clings onto Remus’s coat and Remus grips him tightly in return. This kiss was different than most of the ones they shared before. It… it felt like coming home - an oath made beneath the stars that Sirius was named for. It was them cuddling in front of the fireplace after making a snowman. It was Sirius wiping hot chocolate from his lips. It was Sirius’s warm gray eyes as he looked up at him with that loving smile. It was Sirius, it was Teddy, and it was having a family all over again. It was his past healing while his future finally clicked into place. 

“Remus, oh hell , Remus.” Sirius clings onto him in a near death grip. Remus laughs softly and holds onto him just as tightly.

“You told me on Christmas morning you were a sappy romantic who valued honesty. I can’t say I’m not the same way.” At this, Sirius leans up and kisses him again. Remus hums and pulls him closer by his waist. Home .

“Like I said, you are full of surprises, Remus Lupin.” 

“I want to keep surprising you,” Remus says with a sad laugh.

“I think I can allow that.” Remus feels a new wave of tears fill his eyes as something releases in his chest. He feels as if a dam has broken and he leans into Sirius more. Something clicks behind Sirius’s gray eyes at the motion. 

“Oh goodness, love, are you alright? You’re crying.” He cups his face and Remus laughs, feeling the tears falling harder. Sirius rubs at them with his thumbs.

“Honestly? I’ve never been better. I’m home. I’m finally home.” Sirius keeps his hands there and presses their foreheads together. Remus gently pulls Sirius closer. 

“Oh god, please don’t walk out again. I couldn’t take it.” Sirius says softly as Remus nuzzles him.

“I won’t. Tonks, among other people, will kick my ass if I even consider it. It’s not on the table. I’m surprised I honestly ever thought it was. I’m going to make this work. I swear to you. Whatever it takes. If you need me to get on my knees and beg I will. I’ll do anything for you, baby.” Sirius moves his hands from his face to wrap his arms around his neck. Sirius whimpers softly.

“Baby,” He shakes his head, keeping their faces close together. “I haven’t been called that in… oh god , I’m not sure I’ve ever been-”

“-Then let me call you that.” Remus squeezes his waist gently with his arms. “Lean on me. Please let me cherish you like you want to be. I know I may not deserve that after how I’ve treated you, but I will do anything I can to make up for it.” Sirius leans their foreheads together again and takes a shaky breath in.

“It was kind of shitty,” Sirius admits.

“Not kind of. It was. I will fully admit that I’m a complete asshole who does not deserve your forgiveness.” 

“Too bad. My heart forgave you the minute you came back for me.” Remus sighs, but Sirius gives him a look. “No more punishing yourself, got it?"

“Yes love, it’s only that… You’ve been through so much and I don’t want to add to it.”

“You haven’t,” Sirius says softly, lifting one of his hands to cup Remus’s cheek. Remus leans into his touch and shifts to kiss his palm. “You’re here now, aren’t you?” Remus nods.

"I am - and I want to be the best partner I can possibly be for you. I want to deserve your love. Last night you said you weren’t sure if I would want to be a part of the life you live and I have to make something clear. I want to help raise those beautiful kids of yours with you more than anything else in the world. They are incredible and if you’ll let me be a part of their lives, I will do everything in my power to be the best parent I can. I don’t have as much experience as you, but I will love them more than anything on this earth. I think I already do.” Remus chuckles softly. "That is - only if you’ll let me.”

“Yes. Yes of course I’ll let you, you arse .” Sirius sniffles, rolling his eyes with a smile. They stay like that for a moment before Sirius sighs. “Just… oh god I feel quite silly asking this. I’m an adult man asking you too… Oh fuck it,” He grumbles before his eyes meet Remus’s own again. "Don’t let go. Please ,” He begs softly and Remus’s heart breaks a little inside. He nods and watches Sirius’s eyes soften again. Like he couldn’t believe Remus was agreeing to this. 

“I won’t. I’m here, baby. I’m here. I’m all yours.” 

“Mine?” Sirius asks softly, looking up at him. Remus smiles and slowly feels the fault lines in his heart beginning to mend under Sirius’s loving gaze. 

“Yours,” Remus confirms. “If you want me to be. I will fully accept your rejection because, personally, I do think I deserve to be rejected after being a complete asshole to you the past few hours. Even though I think I will cry about it for hours afterwards.” Sirius shakes his head with a sad smile.

“Too bad I’m not going to reject you then, huh? Guess you’re just going to have to make it up to me.” Sirius smirks and moves his body closer to Remus's

“Anything.” Remus gently pushes some hair behind Sirius’s ear. Sirius leans into his touch, closing his eyes with a soft hum. “I will literally get on my knees and beg. I wasn’t lying earlier.” 

“As much as I’d love you on your knees, I do think we have a cabby to dismiss, and some luggage to retrieve.”

“Fuck, I forgot about that. I may have had a one track mind once I got back here,” Remus admits sheepishly. 

“Mhmm, I’m honored.” Sirius tries to bite back a grin. Remus kisses his forehead. 

“I think I’ll always have tunnel vision when it comes to you, love. Let’s be honest, I always have.” Sirius smiles and sighs softly.

“God, let’s dismiss this poor cabby before I start kissing you again. Cause the more you keep talking the more I want to snog you. And once I start, I won’t stop.”

“I won’t let you stop.”

“ Fuck ,” Sirius groans. “Cabby. Now.”

“Yes, love.” He follows behind Sirius. He hears Sirius chuckle softly. He grabs his coat off the rack and Remus gently taps him on the shoulder. Sirius looks over his shoulder, with a happy, but confused look. 

“Here, let me.” Remus buttons up Sirius’s coat for him and kisses his forehead. He looks back up into Sirius’s eyes with a small smile.

“I… I think I can get used to this.”

“Mhmm, you should. I believe I’m going to like pampering you.” Sirius huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. He opens the door and looks over his shoulder with a grin. 

“Keep looking at me like that, and I might just let you.” Remus grins and nods, letting Sirius take his hand again. He pulls Remus out into the cold and Remus lets him, happily stepping past the threshold into his future.

***

Regulus finishes up his eyeliner and sighs looking at himself in the mirror. He picks up his phone and texts his brother.

Hey, 

I won’t be able to talk tonight because I’m picking up Monty for the writers guild tonight. James just texted that he can’t drive Monty in the group chat I’ve been added to for the evening. 

Date went well until like halfway through when he had to go leave cause his ex was calling him. I may have told him to go, but… Yeah, that made me feel just wonderful. 

On a brighter note - I told Barty to fuck himself and kicked him out of the house today. You’d be proud of me from the way I told him off. I reminded myself of you. 

By the way, if you see him again I will let you punch him. The audacity of this man thinking I’d fall back into his arms again just like that when he still had a fiancé back in England was astronomical. 

He gets a text back a few minutes later.

I am too proud for words.

Well actually I am, but we can call tomorrow. 

Are you sure Barty is the one you want me to punch because I’m currently thinking very murderous thoughts about one James Potter.

Nah, it’s okay. Let me figure it out. I am completely pulling a you though… I have eyeliner on….

Picture. Now. 

Regulus chuckles to himself and takes one of himself in Remus’s full length mirror. He sends it to Sirius before adding.

I wore green too.

Okay, you’re absolutely going to kill him. 

(Unbutton the first few buttons on the button up for extra effect). 

I think I’m beaming with pride right now. 

Regulus rolls his eyes with a smile, but still unbuttons them.

Alright enough about me and you having your proud big brother moment. How are you and Remus? I have received zero updates and I personally think this is very unfair.

So I kinda threw my confession upon him after we slept together and at first he didn’t take it well...

And?

Regulus prods carefully.

He changed his mind, apologized in a very romantic manner and I may have a boyfriend now?

Regulus whoops and does a little dance around in the foyer before grabbing his keys.

CALLED IT!

I FUCKING KNEW IT!

He’s been smitten this entire time hasn’t he?

According to him, yes. Basically sold since the minute I walked in. Which is impressive because I do think I was making an absolute fool of myself when we first met.

I’m happy for you. At least one of our foreign love affairs had a happy ending.

Once again, the murdering James for you is still an option. 

Nah, let the man live. I’ll kill him on my own with the look, but can’t touch thing tonight. Remind him what he lost out on.

God, I really have taught you well. 

Enjoy tonight. I love you.

Enjoy your new boyfriend. Tell him I may be your younger brother, but I will still break his nose for you. I’ve done it before. 

Also I love you too.

Regulus closes his phone and turns on the ignition to the car with a smirk on his lips. Tonight was his Hollywood experience, and he was absolutely going to make the most of it.

***

The past four hours had felt like an improbable dream. Sirius wasn’t completely sure when his brain would catch up with the fact Remus actually felt the same. That he was planning on missing his flight on purpose because he would much rather spend the day kissing Sirius. Of course, if it wasn’t Fleamont Potter, Sirius may have accepted this. But unfortunately for him, it was one of his only parental figures left on this earth and he was getting a night to celebrate his achievements. 

Of course Sirius thought Remus should go alone and then fly back later or he’d fly to him. However, Remus did not see it that way. After encouraging Remus to go to the event and saying he would drop him off in Heathrow, Remus had outright refused. 

“Absolutely not. I am not leaving again. I told you I was never walking out again, and I intend to keep that promise. I’m either staying here with my boyfriend or my boyfriend is coming with me.” 

The choice hadn’t been a difficult one to make at all. 

He now sat beside his sleeping boyfriend on a flight across the world. They had been able to swap Remus’s ticket for one on the 8am flight and Sirius had grabbed the seat next to him. The fact they were able to Sirius was sure was a Christmas miracle. He wasn’t sure where all this good luck had come from. He remembered Regulus saying one late night when they both still lived together in the cottage that for most of their lives they had been dealt the worst hand in the deck. He believed that meant the universe must be storing an ace for them somewhere. Sirius hadn’t really believed him until the moment this morning where Remus was running through the same rooms calling out his name.

He wasn’t sure he had packed that fast in his life. He was glad he knew where his passport was. Tonks had insisted he go and they could look after the kids. They'd make it a cousins bonding weekend. Alice had said something about Tonks wanting to prove they could watch them and he knew they had begged him to take a holiday earlier that month. They wanted to prove their worth and he knew he was reluctantly letting them. He was trying not to feel guilty as he moved away from the car. He promised Tonks he’d find a way to get back to them and the kids for New Years. They had told him not to bother with a look between him and Remus before they drove away with a wink, leaving their stunned godfather at Heathrow. He loved Tonks, but sometimes he wished they had less of him in them. Remus and him had booked tickets back to the UK while waiting for their flight. 

He finishes working on the manuscript and shoves it in his backpack. Remus had told him he had a scanner at home he’d be happy to have him use to get the pages back to England - or to just get him to a post office if his office couldn’t wait until they returned. 

He looks over at Remus who was turned towards him, the blankets almost covering his face. He was clutching onto them with practically a death grip. Sirius wonders for a moment if he was cold. Sirius leans over and lowers the air pressure on him before sitting back down. He slides his tray table up and leans to shut his light off so Remus wouldn’t have it shining in his face as much. It doesn’t seem to matter though, as Remus shoots up quickly, almost hitting his head on the seat in front of him. He leans back against the back of his seat panting heavily.

“Baby?” Sirius asks gently, reaching out through the gap between them to put his hand on his shoulder. Remus jumps at the touch and looks over at Sirius. He watches relief fill his boyfriend’s eyes.

“You’re here.” He says softly and Sirius nods.

“Of course I am. What’s wrong?” 

“Nightmare,” He admits with a bit of a blush. 

“About what, love?” Sirius asks gently, turning towards him. 

“That I was on this flight alone and I never got to tell you I loved you and I know it’s stupid, but I woke up on the plane and I-” Sirius watches tears rise to Remus’s eyes. 

“Oh baby, one sec.” He rushes around to the other side. Once he gets there, he carefully pulls Remus into his arms. Due to their positioning, Remus is practically in his lap, but Sirius doesn’t mind. 

“Oh god, this is so embarrassing,” Remus says in between sniffles as Sirius holds him close. 

“Shh, no it’s not. I’ve got you, Remus. I’m not going anywhere,” Sirius whispers. 

“I feel like you should have. I don’t know why I didn’t say that I loved you last night. I’ve been kicking myself about it all day.”

“I did kind of surprise you.” 

“Sirius, I love you, but we were having sex repeatedly - and not in a friends with benefits way. I should’ve definitely seen that coming. I think the idea that we could ever be only a one night stand went out the window the minute you cooked me breakfast.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Sirius laughs softly. “For me it probably went out of my head the minute you gave me a hickie and I realized I didn’t want to hide it. I kept making the excuse in my head that I kept wanting to see you because you were our guest, and I wanted to make you comfortable. Yet, I couldn’t even control myself after being in the same room with you for ten minutes.”

“You did ask me out first,” He says with a sniffle.

“Yeah, I did have an unfair advantage because it was my home turf.” Sirius rubs circles comfortingly on his back. 

“I do plan to make that up to you by the way,” Remus kisses his cheek and Sirius smiles.

“What part?” 

“All of it. After we sleep in tomorrow, which I am making sure you do because tonight will be a lot. James said something while we were still at the airport about an afterparty at his house, so that will make tonight even longer… However, after all that is over, I’m taking you to my favorite places. I want to share them with you. All of them.” Sirius sighs happily and rests his head lightly on Remus’s own. Remus gently loosens his grip on him and their eyes meet.

“I love you, Sirius.” Sirius blushes, but smiles wider.

“I love you too. You should get some more rest,” Sirius says, gently threading his fingers through his curls. He feels Remus’s body relax under his touch. "I know neither of us really slept last night.”

“Neither?” Remus asks softly.

“Neither,” Sirius confirms gently. “Last night when, I guess you thought I was asleep, I felt you shaking.” Remus’s face softens.

“Why the hell did you hold me then?” 

“Oh my love, isn’t it obvious?” Sirius asks, moving the hand that was in his hair to cup his cheek and taking Remus’s other hand in his own. 

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Bullshit.” Sirius kisses him and Remus kisses back instantly. Sirius smiles to himself, feeling Remus leaning into it. “I have to get back to my seat now but…”

“Promise you’ll rest for a bit? I want you to enjoy tonight.” 

“Yes love, I promise.” He nuzzles him gently and Remus grins, nuzzling back.

“God, you are so incredible.” Sirius blushes, pushing his shoulder gently. 

“As are you.” Remus lifts his hand and kisses it. Sirius feels his cheeks burning and bites his lip to keep himself from grinning. “Alright. You need to let me go now.”

“Do I have too?” Sirius laughs gently. He rises to his feet and kisses Remus’s forehead. He walks back around to his side and takes off his shoes. He looks over and sees Remus gazing at him through the gap in their seats with a soft look on his face. Sirius smiles back and opens the first class packet that contained the courtesy blankets. 

“Alright. I’m going to get some rest, so you should too, my love.” He sees Remus’s eyes light up at the term of endearment and feels butterflies in his own stomach.

“I love you,” Remus says softly before lying back down.

“I love you too.” Sirius reclines himself. He closes his eyes and lets his mind wander to the man beside him before falling fast asleep.

Chapter Text

Small Key:

Sirius

Regulus

~~~

“There you two are!” James calls thankfully, heaving the bag off his shoulder. “Your plane was delayed!”

“Well we wouldn’t have been if the other planes in the air had moved their arses a bit quicker,” Sirius argues before hugging James so hard he almost falls over. James hugs him back and laughs. 

“Also customs was a bitch,” Remus says and Sirius makes a sound of agreement.

“Here, Remus. I was hoping we’d have time for you guys to head to my house and shower, but we’ve only got an hour to get to the other side of the city, so.” 

Remus takes the garment bag that James had pulled out. He unzips it slightly and gives James a look. Sirius puts his suitcase down on the floor and starts to unzip it.

“Did you break into my house?” 

“Please, I snuck in yesterday when I saw his car was out. I know where you leave the spare key, Remus."

“James!” 

“Look, I didn’t know how much time we had! I grabbed three suits, okay? Pick your favorite.”

“What are the options?” Sirius asks, looking up curiously. 

“Grey, White, and Gold.” James says, listing on his fingers. 

“Gold.” Sirius says before looking up at his boyfriend. “Trust me on this, love.” Remus sighs.

“Alright. Is there a brush or comb or something in that bag? I’ve got some bedhead issues.” James nods and passes him one of each. Remus chuckles and rolls his eyes. 

“I love my friends, I love my friends, I love my friends,” He repeats under his breath as he walks away.

“We love you too, Moons!” Remus sends James an eye roll before opening the bathroom door. James looks over at Sirius who seemed to be fighting with his zipper. ”Need some help there Pads?” 

“Yeah. I can’t get this thing to open.” James crouches down next to him and notices how much it’s bursting.

“You always overpack, don’t you?”

“Hey, it’s a talent.” Sirius flips some hair over his shoulder. James rolls his eyes.

“Let me, I’ve gotten used to helping you with too many of these damn suitcases.” He pulls the zipper back, crunching the sides with his other hands before pulling it forward and around. “There we go.”

“You’re a lifesaver, as always.” James smiles as Sirius opens the suitcase. James immediately learns why he was struggling with the zipper.

“Why the hell did you pack a pillow?” 

“Listen, I panicked, okay? We’re lucky I remembered my passport and wallet.” James sighs as Sirius opens his own garment bag. “Remus told me to grab two options, just in case.” 

“Which ones have you got?” Sirius shows him a black suit and dark blue suit with sparkles.

“Okay, since we all seem to be going for a theme with colors,” James says, gesturing to his red suit, “I say you go for the dark blue.”

“That was my plan.” Sirius flashes him a grin. “Gold and navy. Heard of color theory, my friend?”

“Nope, but that’s what I have you for, isn’t it?” Sirius rolls his eyes and zips the garmet bag back up, minus the blue suit. He tosses it to James before closing the suitcase back up. He opens his backpack and starts looking through.

“I thought Remus helped you pack,” James says as Sirius tears through his backpack.

“He did, I had him do toiletries though… thought that would make it the fastest since we know how picky I am about clothes… Ah ha!” He holds up his make up bag in victory. “Do you have hairspray?"

“You’re lucky I thought of that. You left some of yours here and I’ve been using that brand ever since.” James passes some to him. “It works great.”

“I told you!” Sirius shoves him before looking up and freezing. James follows his gaze. He sees Remus emerging from the bathroom, comb and brush in hand and his discarded clothes and garment bag on his arm. James tries to bite back a laugh at Sirius’s staring and the rosy blush that has begun on his cheeks.

“Still agree with your choice?” Remus asks, passing the garment bag and clothes to James who shoves them in the empty bag. 

“Oh completely,” Sirius says, still staring at him. “I now wish I could tear it off you but-”

“Okay on that note! Change!” James says, shoving Sirius’s suit into his hands. Remus covers his face to hide his blush and snort. Sirius grumbles, but gets to his feat. He starts to walk to the bathroom when Remus grabs his arm. 

“Go as quick as you can baby, we don’t want to be late.” He kisses his temple and James watches Sirius nod quickly and bite his lip to keep himself from grinning. He practically runs into the bathroom and Remus chuckles. 

“You’re welcome.” He says to James before kneeling down to zip up Sirius’s backpack. “He can probably shove all his extra stuff into the bag. He’ll be following me wherever we end up, so.” 

“Fair point,” James says, crossing his arms. Remus stands Sirius’s bag upright and chuckles to himself.

“How long did this man pack for?”

“A month, maybe two knowing him.” Remus rubs his forehead and chuckles affectionately.

“Oh god help me.” 

“I think you’re going to need more than God’s help, bud.” James nudges him gently.

“Shut up. You encouraged this relationship," Remus reminds him.

“I did. However, I will point out that you haven’t stopped smiling the entire time even with your grumbling.” Remus rubs the back of his neck with a soft chuckle.

“I really haven’t, have I?”

“Nope.” James smirks. “You are so in love with him it’s ridiculous.”

“I know,” Remus groans. “God, he’s going to get away with so much and he knows it.” James laughs at this. 

“I warned you, Sirius has this power to him. He’s like a magnet.”

“I know, trust me,” Remus says with a sigh. “But I really can’t help myself. Especially when he says he wants me , because - I’m sorry, have you seen him?”

“I will remind you, Moons, how many fans come to our premieres because they're hoping you’ll look at them.”

“Oh how disappointed they're going to be when the next red carpet I’m showing up with my boyfriend.” James eyes Remus with raised eyebrows.

“Does he know that yet?”

“Nope, but are you telling me that if he’s in L.A., he wouldn’t want to come?" Remus gives James a look.

“Touche.” James sees the bathroom door open out of the corner of his eye. He of all people knew how Sirius worked and he smirks to himself, knowing Remus hasn’t noticed yet. He probably hasn’t even seen Sirius in a suit before…

“Also, I want to show him off,” Remus admits. “He’s perfect and I…” Remus’s voice trails off and he follows his gaze.

“Are we ready to go?” Sirius asks, looking between the two. He had pulled up his hair into a stylized bun, had some eyeliner on and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his suit shirt. James looks back over at Remus who looks like he wants to devour his boyfriend and snickers.

“We may have to give Remus a second over here to get his mind out of the gutter.” James nudges him affectionately before going over to Sirius and taking his clothes from him. James slings the bag around his shoulder again. He sees Sirius walk over to Remus and Remus quickly pull him into his arms. He whispers something in Sirius’s ear, making him laugh. 

“Remus!” He cackles and Remus grins, kissing him. Sirius kisses back and James smiles to himself, grabbing Remus’s carry-on. 

“Okay lovebirds, car now please.” They break apart, both blushing. James rolls his eyes affectionately. “Come on you two.” 

***

Sirius hadn’t been too sure on how Remus would feel about PDA, but he still felt his mind reeling from the whispered words of earlier. Sirius thought he was the risky one, but oh how mistaken he had been. 

Remus’s hand was on his thigh and Sirius knew he would have to distract himself to keep him from throwing himself at his boyfriend and defiling the back seat of his best friend’s car. He opens his phone and switches it off airplane mode, watching Remus do the same.

“Alright, so I may have to commit vehicular manslaughter to get us there on time, but we should make it,” James says, pulling out of the parking lot. 

“Manslaughter sounds like a good idea right now,” Sirius mutters and looks up from his phone, sending a glare at James.

“Hmm?” Remus asks from his side in surprise.

“James, do you want to explain what happened on that date of yours?” Sirius sees Remus looking between the two out of the corner of his eye.

“It went fine… why?” James asks, turning onto the highway. He hears the engine speed up and watches Remus fall against the back of the seat and clutch the armrest on the door

“Want to explain why my brother just texted me that you left in the middle of the date?” Sirius asks. 

“James!” Remus exclaims from next to him.

“Oh and get this, it was because his ex was calling.” He sees Remus give James a look. 

“James Fleamont Potter, there better be a good explanation for that,” Remus says in a tone Sirius sincerely hopes will never be used on him.

“There is!” James defends himself. “I wasn’t talking to her, she just called out of the blue. I stepped out, called her back, and told her to go fuck herself for what she did to me and Peter. Me is one thing - my friend is another thing. Though she did really treat me like shit and make me feel invisible sometimes and like nothing I’d ever done was good enough - which Regulus hit the nail on the head with that one - and so it was a bit for me too. I-”

“James, for the love of god, if you’re going to drive at this speed have both hands on the wheel.” Remus scolds looking a bit like he’s going to cry. Sirius takes the hand that’s on his thigh into his own and squeezes it tightly. 

“We’re okay,” He says softly to Remus who looks back at him worriedly. He looks back towards James with a newfound fury. Hurting his brother and scaring his boyfriend? Sirius was ready for blood. 

“Sirius,” He hears his boyfriend say gently. He takes a deep breath calming himself down by squeezing Remus’s hand.

“Then why did he say you left?” Sirius asks, trying to keep his breath steady and focus on Remus’s fingers rubbing circles on his hand.

“I didn’t know Remus had changed his flight yet, or that you were coming. So I thought I could use her as an excuse and then call Regulus and tell him that nothing happened, but ask him to pick up Monty anyway. But then you two were on a different flight and I couldn’t really know how to get myself out of it.” James pauses before looking over his shoulder at Sirius. “Does he really think I walked out because of him?” He asks worriedly.

“EYES ON THE ROAD!” Remus yells and James’s head snaps back forward.

“Sorry,” He whimpers and Sirius sighs, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand again before texting Regulus back.

I am too proud for words.

He continues to text back Regulus before looking up at James. 

“I think he does think that actually.” 

“Fuck…” James groans. “I didn’t want him too I just - shit .” 

“Do not say shit while you’re the one driving the car,” Remus groans before continuing. "I don’t know how you always get yourself in these impossible situations, James,” Remus says with a small stressed chuckle. “At least you can tell him the truth at the event. I mean - you better tell him the truth or else Sirius here will probably kick your ass and I won’t be able to stop him.”

“I’m considering it,” Sirius grumbles and he hears James sigh.

“I will, I promise. Sirius, I really like your brother. Like - a lot. I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, even though it’s clear that’s exactly what I did.” Sirius sighs and leans back against the seat.

“I know, but my brother has been through a lot. The last thing I want for him is his heart broken again. Apparently his ex showed up at his door today.”

“WHAT?!” James asks angrily, he presses on the gas pedal and Remus whimpers softly. 

“Alright lead foot, calm down,” Sirius chides. James eases off the gas, but Sirius still notices the white knuckle grip on the wheel. “He says he kicked him out. He couldn’t believe he had the audacity to show up and ask him to be with him again when he still has a fiance back in England. Sounds like the arrogance he’s always had to me. Glad Reggie finally told him to go to hell.”

“Bastard,” He hears James practically spit. Sirius raises his eyebrows knowingly and looks back down at his texts. He smirks before texting back. “Alright, it seems like I don’t need to kill you, he has that handled.”

“Huh?” James asks worriedly. Sirius only smirks and shows his phone to Remus who snickers.

“Oh this is going to be interesting,” Remus says with a knowing smile. 

“Don’t worry about it, Prongs.” Sirius continues to text back his brother and leans his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Just be happy I don’t want to kill you anymore.” James makes a worried noise and Remus laughs. He feels Remus let go of his hand and wrap an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. 

“Hi, baby,” He whispers, kissing his forehead. Sirius sighs happily. 

“Hi, love.” He feels his phone buzz and looks at it.

Alright enough about me and you having your proud big brother moment. How are you and Remus? I have received zero updates and I personally think this is very unfair.

He looks over at his boyfriend who was smiling at him affectionately and sighs happily before texting back. He’s mine, Reggie. He’s actually mine...

“There they are!” Mary calls them over and Marlene rushes to give Sirius a hug.

“You’ve been away too long!”

“I know, I’m sorry Marls,” He says with a laugh, rocking them back and forth. They pull away and he smiles over at Remus who's talking happily with Lily. “I do think you’ll be seeing a lot more of me from now on.” Marlene smirks and follows his gaze. 

“You know he said you fucked like a god to my girlfriend right?” Sirius bursts out laughing in surprise, covering his face slightly with his hand.

“Oh, did he now?”

“Yeah he called us after you two hooked up the first time trying to figure out how to get rid of a hickie. I didn’t realize it was you until Dorcas already hung up. Then I wished I hadn’t realized it because he literally said after my girlfriend asked if your dick was good that ‘if I never screwed anyone afterwards, but him. I’d be okay with that’ and I would like that quote erased from my mind very much.” Sirius bites his lip to keep himself from grinning.

“Sorry, Marls. I’m sure it’s unfortunate to know I’m good in bed.”

“Very,” She grimaces. “I did not need to know if you were good or bad, I didn’t need to know at all!”

“Oh, but you were wondering weren’t you?” Sirius asks with a raised eyebrow. Marlene gags and Sirius laughs. He feels an arm slip around his waist and pull him close.

“Turn around and face towards me, love,” Remus says gently and Sirius looks up at him confused. 

“What, why?” 

“Regulus just got here with Monty.” 

“Oh? Where?” 

Sirius moves to look, but Remus blocks him. “Hey! I wanna see-agh!” He quickly spins Sirius around and pulls him against his chest. Sirius stumbles slightly, but blushes bright red at their proximity. “H-hi,” He stumbles out of his mouth, now completely devoid of moisture. Remus chuckles.

“Hi baby,” He says smoothly and kisses his forehead. “Sorry love, he doesn’t know me from behind that well, but he’ll definitely know you.” Sirius nuzzles him in response.

“Mhmm, no this is fine.” He wraps his arms around Remus’s neck. “This is absolutely fine.” Remus chuckles and Sirius hears a laugh from behind him.

“Alright, Remus. Walk him like a dog.”

“Shut it, Evans.” Sirius mumbles, flipping her off. The group laughs and Sirius blushes, hiding himself in Remus's arms. 

“Alright folks, Monty and Regulus have entered the dressing room. James just texted us our row number, so let's sneak out there,” Dorcas says. The group mumbles their agreement. Sirius reluctantly starts to let go of Remus. Remus keeps him blocked from the side just in case, but slides an arm around his waist. Sirius looks around once they get in there and sticks close to Remus, seeing some people eyeing them strangely. Maybe they knew he was the only one who didn’t belong there. Sirius feels a hint of the fear from his childhood creeping up on him.

“I’ve got you,” Remus whispers in Sirius’s ear. “I’m right here.” Sirius nods quickly and looks over at him for support. He sees Remus smiling down at him. “Don’t let them get to you. I’m here. You’re safe,” He reassures gently, squeezing his waist with his arm. 

“Okay, Remus and Sirius, I think you two should be the first two in, but leave a spot open on the end for Regulus and James,” Dorcas says.

Sirius nods and feels Remus’s hand move to the small of his back. His smile grows as he leads into the row. Once they’ve taken their seats, Remus’s hand slips into his own. Sirius squeezes it and looks over at him. He blushes seeing the loving look in Remus’s eyes.

“I love you,” Remus says softly and Sirius feels his blush deepen.

“I love you too.” Sirius leans his head over onto Remus’s shoulder and hears him hum softly. Remus kisses his forehead and Sirius smiles to himself, feeling completely at home in his arms.

***

“Where’s James?” Regulus asks, peeking out of the dressing room, realizing most of the people have filed inside. 

“I’m not sure,” Monty admits. “He said he had to deal with something earlier. He may be running behind.” Regulus sighs heavily at the reminder.

“Right. Of course.” Regulus says, hearing the disappointment in his own tone.

“I wouldn’t worry,” Monty reassures him. “James moves heaven and earth to make sure he’s there for the people he cares about.” Regulus nods.

“Right, I know.” Regulus bites his lip. He hears Monty sigh. 

“I heard you two went on a date. Did it not go well?” His heart aches and he looks over at the older man.

“He left about halfway through because Emmeline called him.” Regulus sighs and Monty gives him a look of understanding. “He asked if I could pick you up. I said of course… I haven’t heard from him since, besides one text to the group chat.” Monty gives him a sympathetic smile. “I should’ve known not to get too attached… it’s… that’s my own fault. I’m flying home in a few days. I should’ve known that it didn’t mean anything…”

“Can I give you my honest opinion?” Regulus nods. “My boy has been smitten with you from the minute he saw you. I rarely heard Emmeline’s name, but the minute you showed up at Remus’s house, your name is all I’ve heard.”

“Then why did he leave?” Regulus asks sadly. Monty sighs. 

“There may be a surprise planned. He has not told me exactly what it entails, but he did say he was working on something special. He texted me later saying that it was going to be better than he originally planned.” Regulus looks at him kind of puzzled. “Personally, I think Emmeline called him and he used it as an excuse. He probably kept you out of it because he knew that you’d be driving me and then you wouldn’t give things away.”

“I’m a good secret keeper,” Regulus says, feeling like a petulant child. Monty chuckles.

“I’m sure you are, but I also think maybe the surprise may also be for you.” Regulus raises his eyebrows. “I told you he likes you a lot and well… James has a lot of me in him. He likes to use actions to show he likes someone rather than words. He likes to do things for them to display how much he cares. I have a feeling that this surprise for me has another side to it.”

“Oh…” Regulus says with a small laugh. “I feel like an idiot now.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go there quite yet. Wait for him to tell you why. I’m only guessing.” He winks at him. Before Regulus can respond, there’s a knock on the door.

“Mr. Potter, they're ready for you.” 

“Mind walking with me out, Mr. Black?” He asks and Regulus nods.

“I’d be honored.” He links arms with Monty and they make their way to the doors. They open and begin walking out. Regulus for a moment thinks he’s going to pass out. There were so many smiling faces and clapping people. He feels Monty squeeze his arm and he smiles looking over at him. Monty stops at a row closer to the stage, but with enough distance to not crane your head back.

“I think this is your stop.” He winks again and Regulus looks over. He sees Sirius there with Remus next to him, both smiling and clapping.

“SIRIUS!” He nearly tackles him and Sirius laughs hugging him tightly. 

“Hi baby brother.” Sirius chuckles and Regulus feels like he’s beaming. 

“You’re here! You both are! What are you doing here?” Regulus asks, looking between both of them. 

“I think you should ask James that,” Remus calls over the noise with a smile.

“Really?” Just then he hears a familiar melody and grins to himself. He thinks back to James and him sitting on that piano bench a few days ago, dancing around an obvious question that hung in the air between them.

“I’m here, I’m here!” He hears a familiar voice call from behind him. James leans over as if he’d been running, holding his knees. “I had to get the timing just right.” He looks up at Regulus and his face changes to a look of awe. “Oh wow… You look breathtaking, Reggie.” Regulus smirks slightly looking back at Sirius, who is biting back a grin.

“Thanks. Want to explain to me why these two are here?”

“Surprise?” James says hopefully and Regulus laughs. He watches as James’s eyes seem to almost light up.

“So, Emmeline?” Regulus asks once they're sitting down. 

“I told her to go fuck herself the minute I got outside. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t realize that you’d think that I prioritized her over you, I just knew that I had to pick up Remus from the airport, and then suddenly it was also your brother, and I panicked because I thought originally I could make an excuse and - God you look beautiful,” James rambles. 

“James.” Regulus takes his hand and squeezes it. “It’s okay. Next time tell me that it didn’t happen. I won’t question if you don’t want to spend every second of every minute with me.”

“No- but you should - because I do! You’re incredible and I really like you and oh god I said that out loud didn’t I?” He covers his face and Regulus laughs softly. 

“You did. It’s okay. Maybe I like you a lot too.” James peaks up between his hands.

“Maybe?”

“I do,” Regulus reassures him with a blush of his own. 

“Regulus?” James whispers as the crowd quiets down.

“Yeah?” Regulus whispers back.

“What’s your plans for New Year’s Eve?”

“Well, I thought I was going home but… I may be able to be convinced to stick around,” Regulus flirts, enjoying the blush rising on James’s cheeks.

“If you stay for New Years, would you like to be my date?” He asks and Regulus chuckles.

“I’d like to be more than that, but…” He allows himself to get lost in James’s eyes. They were wide, and so utterly beautiful. The only time I think the universe is kind is when I look at you and I can swear the universe made you for me…

He leans in slowly, taking a leap of faith. He’s quickly rewarded when James follows. They kiss and Regulus feels his brain squeal in happiness while his internal organs melt. “I think I can agree to stay,” Regulus says softly when they part. James grins and leans in to kiss him again.

“And if my son could stop kissing his boyfriend for a moment, I can ask him to stand to be honored for that wonderful piece of music you heard on my walk up here.” Regulus hears Monty say. They jump apart, both acting like they were teenagers that had been walked in on.

“Sorry!” James calls standing up and waving before quickly sitting down as applause flutters through the room. Monty chuckles over the microphones.

“Us Potters do not have the best attention spans when our partners are next to us. Trust me, son, I remember all too well.” Regulus hears James groan into his hands and laughs along with the audience. 

“Boyfriend, hmm?” Regulus asks.

“If you’re okay with that?” James asks, slowly pulling his face from his hands.

“I can be convinced,” Regulus agrees and watches James’s eyes widen slightly. 

“I’m all for convincing, but not here. I would not like to get scolded by my dad again in front of a few hundred people,” James admits quietly and Regulus chuckles in agreement.

“I don’t mind being caught if I’m being called your boyfriend,” Regulus flirts. James groans, but he can tell he doesn’t mean it. 

“God, you are going to be poking and prodding at my restraint until it breaks, aren’t you?

“Maybe,” Regulus smirks. “Sue me. I have a hot boyfriend and I want his attention.” James blushes more and grins. 

“I would argue I’ve got the more attractive one, but I’ll concede the point.” He lifts their intertwined hands and kisses Regulus’s. Regulus smiles, knowing he’s blushing, but for once not bothering to hide it. He scoots closer to James in his seat and leans his head on his shoulder. James adjusts his position so Regulus is more comfortable. He smiles feeling James squeeze their hands. Regulus squeezes back.

He looks over at Sirius and Remus and sees them in a similar position. Remus had his arm around Sirius’s shoulders and Sirius was leaning in close, head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. He notices Regulus looking and raises his eyebrows with a smile.

“I missed you,” Regulus mouths. He sees Sirius’s smile soften. 

“I missed you too,” He mouths back and extends his hand out to him. Regulus smiles and takes it. He squeezes his brother's hand three times and hears Sirius chuckle softly. Sirius squeezes three times in return. 

They had this code when they were little and they couldn’t really get the words out. Three squeezes: I love you. He smiles to himself, hoping he can teach James the code one day. He turns back to James and closes his eyes, listening to Monty’s voice. He feels lips flutter over his forehead and his smile grows. 

“You look so beautiful tonight,” James whispers and Regulus opens his eyes looking over at him.

“You like it?” He asks, referring to his outfit.

“I love it. Green is your color, baby.” Regulus blushes at the nickname. He usually hated pet names, but he found himself enjoying the way it sounded when James said it.

“Sirius says it is,” Regulus admits, looking over at his brother who was currently trying to move closer to his boyfriend. He swore if there wasn’t an arm rest between the two, Sirius would be in his lap. He had a feeling from the way Remus was holding him, that he wouldn’t mind. 

“Ah,” He says as if realizing something. He squeezes Regulus’s hand again and Regulus scoots a bit closer. He looks over again at Sirius and smiles to himself, wondering if he feels this comfortable with Remus holding him. Sirius meets his eyes again at the hand squeeze sent his way. 

“Safe,” He mouths, leaning into James. Sirius grins.

“I know, right?” He mouths back and Regulus grins as well, turning into James, slowly letting go of Sirius’s hand.

“I’m here,” James whispers softly. 

“Stay,” Regulus whispers back.

“I will,” James kisses his forehead. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” 

Regulus closes his eyes again and lets himself breathe for what feels like the first time. 

***

“Do you want anything to drink, love?” Sirius asks over the noise of his friends chattering in the background. 

“No, because that means you’ll be getting up and I like you right here,” Remus admits, pulling him closer on his lap. Sirius laughs and Remus smiles against his neck.

“Sorry to tell you this, Moons, but I’m thirsty, so I’m getting up either way.”

“Are you?” Remus asks, pulling him closer by his waist. 

“Remus!" Sirius laughs and Remus grins. 

“Fine. Can you get me some more champagne, love?”

“Alright.” Sirius gets up and turns back around to nuzzle Remus. “I love you,” Sirius says softly.

“I love you too, baby.” He smiles watching Sirius grin in response. He goes off and Remus smiles to himself, watching him go.

“Remus Lupin,” He turns towards Lily who’s grinning ear to ear. “I have never seen you so smitten in my entire life.” Remus laughs softly and nods. 

“I know. I’m not sure if he realizes the power he has over me,” Remus admits, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m impressed. What happened to make you fall so fast?” She asks, leaning forward on her hands.

“I… I don’t know, honestly. He’s just… he’s so open, and kind and the fact he looks like a Greek god has come to life does not help my poor heart, but.” Lily laughs and Remus smiles. 

“He’s… He’s turned my world upside down and now I can’t imagine my life without him. I went from being absolutely fine on my own and with the future I saw for myself to realizing I really was dissatisfied with it. I went from pissed at the world to, oh god please let me keep this man in only a few days. I feel like… like I can’t live without him now. It’s strange and new, but.” Remus laughs softly. “I love him so much and sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m learning I like him being close and all over me. You remember how annoyed I used to get about people lying on top of me? Now I’m placing him there. Remember how I hated public displays of affection? Yeah, well that’s gone out the window too. I went from being so touch-avoidant to touch-starved in no time at all. It’s like now that I know he loves me, I can’t find it within myself to stop needing him beside me. Is that… is that normal?”

“Oh, Remus,” She says gently and puts a hand on her arm. “Is this your first time in love?”

“I… I think so… maybe?” He admits and her eyes soften even more. 

“That is normal. I think your love language may be physical touch and you didn’t really realize it because you weren’t in love with the other people you were with. Sure, you appreciate them and who they were, and yeah, you could be attracted to them. But attraction is very different from love. You love Sirius, and it's okay to feel like you need him all the time. That’s kinda how it feels when you’re in love sometimes. The aching when they're not beside you fades with comfort and time as you two get a bit more secure, but that is completely normal. It’s okay to stumble a little on your way while you’re figuring out your feelings,” She assures him. “It’s okay to fall, but… I’m so happy for you.”

“It all happened so fast,” Remus admits with a chuckle. “You don’t think he’ll get tired of me right?” Lily shakes his head.

“No. If you’re obsessed, then he’s insane. He’s crazy about you, Remus. Don’t get me wrong, I know Sirius is a huge flirt, but I’ve never seen him look at anyone like he looks at you. Also Sirius is a huge physical touch person from what I’ve seen of him and James. So I’m sure he’s loving the affection.” Remus blushes and nods. 

“What happens if I mess up?”

“Well, you talk to each other. You take your time. You figure it out if it's worth it to you. I can tell he’s worth it to you, so I don’t think you have to be worried about him not fighting for you. You know how Sirius is.” Remus nods. 

“I do. I’m just worried it’s happening too fast and I’ll wake up one morning and he won’t love me anymore and it’s all just been in my head. I’m scared I’ll lose him.”

“That won’t happen,'' A voice says gently next to him. He feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks behind him and sees Sirius smiling gently at him. “Hate to tell you this love, but I do believe you’re stuck with me.” He put his drink down next to another champagne glass, which must have been Remus's. Remus smiles gratefully at him. He sees Lily wink at him out of the corner of her eye before getting up. 

“Oh the horror,” Remus deadpans back before smiling and reaching out for him. Sirius sits on his lap and quickly falls into his arms. “Stuck with the man I love. How will I ever survive?” Sirius laughs softly and Remus pulls him closer. 

“Sorry I took so long, I got a call.” 

“Shh, it’s okay. As long as Tonks and the kids are alright. I’m enjoying this now.” He kisses around Sirius’s face and he grins, laughing slightly.

“Well, I think I’m about to make your night so.” Remus gently pushes Sirius’s hair away from his neck.

“You already have,” Remus mumbles, kissing down his neck. Sirius gasps softly.

“Oh my god - Remus Lupin, I swear you’re going to make me lose control in front of our friends - It was from Alice.” He hurries out. Remus pulls away with eyes wide. 

“About Teddy?” He asks and Sirius nods. 

“She knows people. She thinks that with my position and her connections, we could push it through and maybe get the papers to us by New Years.”

“By New Years?” Remus asks in shock and Sirius grins, nodding. 

“Oh my god, baby!” Sirius laughs as Remus kisses all over his face.

“Remus,” Sirius says happily.

“Holy crap this is actually happening.” He hugs Sirius tightly and Sirius hugs him back with just as much clinginess to it. “I love you so much."

“I love you too.” Sirius pulls away first and kisses his forehead. “Champagne?” He offers and Remus sighs happily.

“I’d love some.” 

“So tell me the plan again?” Remus asks James as the brothers head upstairs to his room. 

“Reggie is going to be staying with me through New Years, and Sirius will be staying with you until you fly back to be with the kids.”

“Actually about that…” Remus says and James tilts his head.

“Oh no, I know that mischievous look in your eyes. What do you have planned?”

“I grabbed Tonks’s number before we left when Sirius was saying goodbye to the kids. I think they're on board, but… I want to surprise Sirius. I want to fly his kids out here, so they can celebrate with all of us. I'll host. I… I guess it’s kind of selfish, but I want them to be able to be a part of this house.” Remus looks around. “I always said it was way too big for me…”

“I know. You only got it because it was right next door to me. You put down an offer almost immediately.” 

“I know, and then I got in here. Once I realized what I purchased, I was terrified.”

“You made me sleep over for like two weeks,” James nudges him and Remus laughs. 

“I know. We made memories in this house… and… if Sirius is up for it… I want to make some more.” James grins.

“Did you see his face when he walked in? I swear Regulus dragged him out of the foyer so he’d shut up about how beautiful the natural lighting would be in here.”

“I mean, he’s not wrong,” Remus says with a small laugh. “But I see your point. He may not be as against it as I thought… but his livelihood is still over there in England - and the kids and their education...”

“Tonks will be in university. You two will figure it out. After all, if rumors that Sirius has told me are correct, you’ll be adopting a kid soon. So one of them will be transferring over here anyways.” Remus could feel himself beaming.

“I can’t wait for you guys to meet him. He’s the most wonderful boy.” He sees James’s smile widen.

“You really are so happy… I’ve never seen you this happy.” Remus bites his lip and nods.

“I know… I told Lily earlier that how I’m feeling now is so unfamiliar. I’m not used to this kind of love, but… I want to give back to him. I want him to know that I love him too… I hope that makes sense.”

“It does," James says gently. “I’m the same way… But this plan of yours. Do you need my help with it?”

“Possibly, I have to figure out how to cancel tickets back to England without Sirius noticing.”

“I see,” James says. He’s about to add something else when they're cut off by the bedroom door opening. 

“Alright, that should be everything. The bed was made while I was out, so you don’t need to worry about making it.” Regulus carries his suitcase down the stairs. Sirius pauses on the steps.

“Wait… the bed was made..? Hold on!”

“Yeah, Remus is rich, Pads,” James wiggles his eyebrows and Remus rolls his eyes.

“Oh shut it. It’s called I have depressional spirals and if someone is coming to clean the house, then I at least feel like then I have to do something about it to make their lives easier.” 

“Valid, but anyway.” Regulus puts his suitcase on the floor and James quickly takes it from him. Regulus rolls his eyes affectionately, and adjusts the bag on his shoulder. “At least you know that the bed isn’t covered in me before you shag on it. Didn’t have that courtesy last time, did you, dear brother of mine.” Sirius rolls his eyes, and Remus has to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

“Eh, we’ll get them back, don’t worry baby,” James says with a smirk. He winks at Sirius who gags. Regulus laughs and they all hug goodbye. Remus shuts the door behind them and turns to Sirius. 

“So, do you want to get unpacked?” He asks as Sirius walks up to him. He swings his hips slightly and Remus bites back a smirk, having a good feeling about how this is going.

“I think it can wait, don’t you?” Sirius asks, running a hand up his chest. “That suit was a tease, love.” Remus chuckles to himself.

“Eager are we?” He asks as Sirius backs him up against the door.

“With you? Always.” 

Remus clicks the door locked.

Chapter Text

“Love, your hands are shaking.” Sirius gently puts his hand over his, steadying his glass. A few weeks ago, Remus thought he would’ve been spending this holiday alone hiding in a cottage in the middle of nowhere crying his eyes out. Now he had someone by his side who read him like a book. He had a boyfriend, and he’d be damned if anyone took this perfect man away from him. Remus had always hated clinginess, but with Sirius he felt like a part of him was missing when he was gone. Lily had gotten it right when she said he was smitten. He had never needed someone like he needed Sirius.

“Nervous,” He admits with a sad laugh. Sirius leans over and kisses his cheek. 

“Don’t be. Teddy loves you.”

“I know but… he does barely know me,” Remus admits, looking over at the kids. Tonks was talking with Lily, Hope was playing around with James and Teddy was in the corner reading, occasionally looking up with a smile. 

“Yeah, that’s definitely your kid,” James had joked when he immediately pulled out a book and found a corner. Remus had beamed.

“Then you’ll have to work on that, won’t you? And you’ll be taking him once the summer starts, so he’ll still have some time to get adjusted.” Sirius wraps his arms around his waist and rests his head on Remus’s shoulder. Remus sighs happily and puts his drink down to hold him better.

“I know… we should tell him, baby.” Sirius’s smile widens and he nuzzles into Remus’s neck.

“One more minute…” Sirius mumbles and Remus feels him breathe him in, “I want to enjoy this.” Remus chuckles softly and kisses his forehead.

“I’m here,” Remus says gently. “I’m sorry I scared you earlier today.”

“You gave me a bloody heart attack,” Sirius admits and Remus runs his fingers slowly through his hair. 

It had been an outlandish plan, really. Remus wasn’t sure how it had worked. He had woken up early that morning with a call from James because Remus absolutely couldn’t set an alarm for this.

“Hey baby,” Remus had leaned over and kissed Sirius’s forehead. Sirius stirred slightly with a small hum.

“Is it time to go?” His boyfriend asked groggily.

“No love, it appears they canceled our tickets. Something about runway issues in the UK. I don’t know how they don’t think they can solve it in a few hours we’re over an ocean, but I’m going to head to the airport and see if there are any flights going out tonight.” Sirius had shot up in bed in a panic.

“Oh fuck, no they didn’t.”

“They did, but it’s okay love. I’ll deal with it. I promise I have it handled.” Remus kissed Sirius’s forehead and Sirius sighed. 

“How are you always so calm in a crisis?” He asks as Sirius lays back down.

“Well, I was roommates with James Potter. One of us had to be the collected one.” Sirius chuckled. 

“Fair enough. When we were roommates it certainly wasn’t me.” Remus had gotten changed and quickly came out, slipping his phone into his pocket.

“I’ll sort this out, love. Just rest.” He kissed Sirius goodbye. Sirius grumbled, but agreed lying back down. 

“I don’t know how the fuck that worked,” Remus said to James on the phone as he pulled out of the driveway.

“You’re welcome. I do think you owe Reggie a book outing though. He wanted to kill me when my alarm went off to wake you up for this.” Remus laughs.

“Ask him how the second sounds once the store is open? I want to take Teddy out for some books for home.”

“Sounds good. Have you told him yet, by the way?” 

“No, Sirius and I wanted to tell him for New Years.”

“Oh that’ll be sweet. A little belated Christmas present.”

“Yeah, I found something of mine too. I hope he likes it,” Remus admits.

“He will because it came from you.”

“God, you sound like Sirius.” James laughed.

“Well he has a point you know.”

“Maybe so, but get some rest, Prongs. Let me know if there’s anything I can get you to make up for this?”

“Just crack open the good wine tonight, yeah?”

“Deal.”

Remus had to admit maybe James and Sirius had a point that all his nerves weren’t needed. The minute he arrived, Teddy had practically thrown himself at Remus.

“Moony!” He yells and Remus picks him up in his arms. 

“Hey kiddo, good flight?” He asks, looking at Tonks who is carrying a sleepy Hope on their back like a backpack. Hope waves to him sleepily. He waves back.

“Yeah. Went surprisingly smooth. Does Pads have any idea?” Tonks asks. Remus shakes his head, letting Teddy back on the ground. 

“None. I’m surprised he has no clue. I did tell him I was going to the airport because they canceled our tickets, but the fact he didn’t question it surprised me.”

“Well you left pretty early. That doesn’t surprise me. I learned a while ago that if you ask Pads something very early in the morning, he probably won’t know what he’s talking about.” Remus laughs and grabs some of their luggage.

“Come on you three,” He takes Teddy’s hand who grins up at him adoringly. He smiles back down at him affectionately. “Welcome to L.A.”

“Sorry they jumped on you, my love,” Remus whispers to him and Sirius melts into his arms more.

“Eh,” Sirius kisses his cheek, “You probably told them to do that.”

“I did not. I told them to go ahead and wake you up.”

“Well you clearly do not know what that means to our kids.” Remus’s breath hitches at the word. Ours.

Sirius looks up at him and smiles. He cups his cheek gently. “Ours,” He repeats, looking Remus in the eyes.

“Ours,” Remus agrees softly and kisses Sirius. It’s a gentle one and he was learning he loved those as much as the passionate ones. Maybe more, if he was being completely honest with himself. They pull away and Sirius smiles, resting their foreheads together. 

“Ready love?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Remus says softly.

“Hey Teddy?” Sirius calls and Teddy looks up from his book. “Mind coming here for a moment?” He nods and puts a bookmark in his book. He follows them into Remus’s office.

“Am I in trouble?” Teddy asks and both of them shake their heads.

“Of course not,” Remus says gently. “One of your Christmas gifts came late, and I wanted to give it to you.”

“Oh!” Teddy’s eyes light up as Remus takes the small package off his desk. He tears it open and gasps.

“The Three Musketeers! You remembered!” 

“Mhmm, it’s a bit fragile because of its age, so take good care of it.” Teddy nods, cradling it close to his chest. “It’s my copy from when I was your age.”

“Really?” Teddy asks in awe and Remus nods. He sees Sirius pull the first page off the stack of papers off his desk and takes his breath.

“There is one more thing,” Sirius says gently, looking between the two. 

“Really?” Teddy asks and both of them nod. Sirius hands it to Teddy and takes Remus’s hand in his. Sirius squeezes his hand three times and Remus squeezes it back, smiling at the meaning Sirius had told him was behind it. He looks over and catches Sirius’s eye. He smiles gently at him and Remus smiles back, letting his boyfriend’s gaze steady his heart. Teddy gasps.

“Wait… is this?” He looks between them both before landing on Remus.

“You… you want too..?” 

“Yes. Teddy, I would like to adopt you. I know it’s quick, but I love you kiddo and… I would be honored to be your dad.” 

“But what about Pads?” Teddy asks. Sirius smiles affectionately. 

“You’ll stick with Pads until the end of the school year while we get the paperwork through - because we did rush parts of it, but it will take a bit since it’s international. Then once the summer begins, you’ll move in with me here. After that...” he looks over at Sirius and squeezes his hand tightly. “In a few years or so, Pads and Hope may follow.” Sirius nods and Remus feels his heart melt. 

“You… you really want to adopt me?” Teddy asks tentatively.

“Yes,” Remus kneels down to his height. “There would be no bigger honor than that. I promise I will be the best dad to you I can possibly be. That is, only if you want me to be Teddy. This is your choice too.”

“Yes!” Teddy rushes into his arms. “Yes, I’d love you to be my dad.” Remus holds onto him tightly and tries not to cry.

“Okay, then Pads and I work on it. I love you, Teddy.”

“I love you too.” He squeezes him tightly. They pull away and Teddy gives the paper back to Pads, practically bouncing.

“You can go now, Teds,” Sirius says gently. Teddy laughs happily and runs out of the room.

“HOPE! MOONY WANTS TO BE MY DAD!” He yells before the door shuts behind him. Sirius laughs and Remus lets out a sigh of relief.

“Told you he loves you.” Sirius nudges him and Remus starts to cry.

“Y-yeah. Oh god. I can’t believe it’s real. I can’t believe this is real - you’re real and I-”

“-Oh, baby.” Sirius pulls him into his arms and Remus clings onto him.

“I love you so much, Sirius Black.” Remus says holding him close.

“I love you too, Remus Lupin. And I’m here, okay? Even when there is an ocean dividing us, I will still love you. I will love you endlessly.”

“Endlessly?”

“Endlessly,” Sirius confirms, kissing his forehead. “Now come on. We do have guests who will be missing us - and some good news to share with them.” Sirius tugs his arm and Remus follows behind him happily.

“Coming, my love.” 

***

“And you’ll call?” James asks as Regulus zips up his suitcase. 

“Of course I will, you dork.” Regulus kisses his forehead as he stands back up. “I’ll miss your voice.”

“I’ll miss yours too. Lily has already told me I better have my score finished before you leave and I start writing sad music.” Regulus laughs.

“Sounds like her.” He snuggles into his arms and hugs him tightly. James sighs and holds onto him tightly. “You sure you don’t want to come drop me off?”

“I do, baby. But I’m not sure there’s enough room in Remus’s car.”

“I can sit on your lap.” James laughs softly.

“I don’t think that would be setting a good example for the children," James admits. Regulus continues to hold onto James tightly and feels a dam inside him break.

“James?”

“Yes, baby?”

“I don’t want to go back.” James kisses his forehead.

“I know, but you’ve got work back there.”

“No… No, I don’t want to go back.” He looks James in the eyes. “I don’t want to go back to the paper.” James’s eyes soften. “You were right, on our first date. I’m not happy. I… I don’t want to stay there. I… I want to stay here with you. I want to start fresh. I want to figure out what makes me happy.” James squeezes his hand tightly. 

“Then extend your stay,” James says. “Stay with me for now. Don’t fly back just yet. We’ll figure it out, alright?” Regulus tears up.

“Do… Do you mean that?”

“Yes, of course I do. You still have a day or two left before your time is up. We’ll just figure out how to extend your time here. I’m sure my dad knows from back when I was in university what the rules are.” He hugs James tightly.

“Oh god… what am I going to tell my brother?"

“I’m sure he’ll understand,” James kisses his forehead. “If you weren’t happy, I’m sure he noticed...How about this? You extend your stay, and when your time's up we fly back together. We gather up your stuff at your office and we figure out how we can get you over here permanently, yeah?” Regulus nods, still feeling himself crying.

“Yeah… Oh god, I really thought you were going to think this was a stupid idea.”

“Hey, I didn’t tell Remus his surprise for Sirius on New Years was a stupid idea - and that was far more crazy than you wanting to leave a job where you aren’t happy.” Regulus concedes to this point.

“Do… Is there anything you need done in the company that isn’t being done?”

“Well, Remus is our main script writer, but I’m sure he would love the help. Especially once the summer is over and Teddy moves in… and you did say you ran the social media for the chronicle. I’m sure Remus will be happy to hand that over to you entirely, and Mary would love the help.”

“You really think so?” Regulus asks, looking up at him hopefully. James tucks some hair behind his ear.

“Yes, I think we could use your expertise,” James says with a chuckle. “We’re all kind of messes, so.” Regulus laughs. He leans in to kiss him, but is interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Reggie, open up! We’re gonna be late if you don’t move your arse!” Regulus reluctantly leaves James’s arms. He opens the door to see Sirius standing there, hopping on the balls of his feat. 

“Come on, we gotta go.” He grabs Regulus’s arm. Regulus pulls away and Sirius looks at him confused.

“Sirius?” Regulus asks softly, surprising himself at how shaky his voice is.

“Yeah?” Sirius asks. All the previous urgency completely disappears from his attitude and is instead replaced by concern.

“I… I’m extending my stay. I… I don’t want to work at the chronicle anymore. I want to work here… with James and Remus.” Sirius takes his hands in his. “I’m… I’m not happy and I-”

“-Oh Reggie, you don’t need to explain that to me. I know that. You haven’t been happy there for a long time, and I know you love it here.” Sirius squeezes his hands. “Are you ready for that step?” Regulus nods. 

“I… I think I am.” Sirius releases his hands and hugs him tightly. Regulus hugs him back, clinging onto him tightly. “I’ll be back in England soon. I just have some stuff I have to figure out here first.”

“Okay, please continue to call. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t. I promise. That’ll never happen again.” They pull away from the hug and Sirius smiles at him. 

“I should get to the car. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to Remus.”

“Tell Remus we will still be on for tonight’s wine and cry night,” James calls from behind him.

“I-I’m sorry?” Sirius asks and Regulus looks back at him confused. 

“Sirius, until about five minutes ago both of the loves of our lives were flying across an ocean. Forgive us for wanting to wallow for a little bit. I still want to let him wallow if he wants.” Sirius chuckles softly as Remus's stomach flops around like a bouncy castle. Love?

“Oh my god, I love him so fucking much. Okay.” Sirius hugs Regulus and James goodbye before running out next door through the side gate. According to James, Remus and him had them installed once he moved next door. Only each other had the passcode, and now the Black brothers did, just in case they’d need it. He turns back into James’s arms and sighs in relief.

“We’ll figure this out, don’t you worry.”

“I know we will.” Regulus nuzzles him gently. James smiles widely and reaches behind Regulus to shut the door.

***

“One more?” Regulus laughs at the livestream, looking over at James. “Soon enough you’ll want us releasing the whole score!” James laughs and agrees.

“Alright. Well… we do have one more that we can share with you.” He looks over at Regulus with a smile. “I wrote it inspired by my lovely boyfriend over there, but I’ve added a few more elements to it to make it a bit more Iris-y. So here’s Iris’s theme.” James begins to play and Regulus watches him. He had watched James compose many times, but he never thought he’d get used to how beautiful he was when he played. He looks back at Regulus and smiles. Regulus feels himself blush softly and hears James chuckle to himself.

“It’s like you know it’s about you.” Regulus laughs lovingly as James finishes. He subtly wraps an arm around his waist, hidden from view of the camera and Regulus smiles, returning his glance to it. Most of the comments were spammed with hearts and keyboard smashes. Regulus chuckles to himself

“Alright folks, that’s it for now. But make sure to check out 'The Holiday’ coming to theaters near you in a few days! We love you all!” Regulus blows a kiss at the camera and James waves goodbye. He ends the stream and hears James sigh.

“I don’t know why, but lives always stress me out.” Regulus chuckles and leans his head on his shoulder. 

“I think it’s because you know we can’t cut anything out. It is very good for promotional material though.”

“I know, that’s why I let you do it.” He kisses Regulus’s cheek. In the past two years, Regulus had practically reinvented their social media presence. It turns out that there aren’t very many companies run by best friends in the film industry, and some people were looking for a burst of positive content in their lives. What they hadn’t really expected was how interested their fans would get in themselves personally. 

Of course, there were aspects of their lives they kept private, and they were glad their fans respected it, but they had realized they had become minor celebrities when they started to be asked for interviews regarding themselves rather than their work. Regulus wasn’t sure at first if he liked the direction that their presence was heading, but it had done wonders for their films. Turns out, people had already wanted to know more about the mysterious company that kept on turning out gems, and were excited to have more information about their lives and what they were working on. 

This film was the most special to all of them though - after all it was their story. Remus had suggested it over drinks that past summer when Regulus and James visited their house to welcome Sirius to L.A. They were on board immediately.

“Of course we’d change a few details. Maybe switch some genders, careers and life events around, but the concept could be cute. It could be like what your dad did, James, but for all four of us.” All four of them had a hand in the script writing process and the music. For the first time it was a film that felt created between the four of them. It really was the epitome of a project of love. 

All of them had gone through great lengths to promote it as well. They had done a double couple interview that had gotten thousands of views in the first few hours. Remus had said it was the Black Brother stardom, but Regulus had just laughed. 

Maybe it was in part to that. Regulus wouldn’t deny that the fans had quickly adopted both of them into the Marauders films circle, but he would argue it was more the couple dynamic they all had. While James and Regulus had most of the witty banter that people loved watching, Sirius and Remus were a very affectionate couple. 

He remembered how crazy the fans had gone when Sirius had posted that picture over the summer of their vacation to Spain with the kids before Sirius had to go to London for work. There were engagement rumors everywhere after the mirror selfie Sirius had posted. He supposed he understood why, it was one of the more affectionate pictures Sirius had posted of the two of them. Sirius was holding the camera while Remus had an arm wrapped around his waist, a hand on his hip and his head resting against Sirius’s neck. The rumors were so widespread, in fact, that Regulus had to release a statement. He knew most of the fans knew he ran the Marauders social media accounts, so he felt comfortable using his own words.

Our Dear Marauder Fans,

It seems as if a rumor has begun insinuating that Sirius Black and Remus Lupin have eloped and are currently honeymooning in Spain. I am here to set the record straight and say that this rumor is false. I would be very offended if my brother eloped without my knowledge, and I think he is far too dramatic to not want a wedding ceremony when the time comes. 

Their vacation is with family, so we as a company ask that you give them the necessary privacy to enjoy their time with their kids. 

We love you all - and if you want to see a real dramatic elopement story - keep on the lookout for our new film in September! 

Yours Ever,

The Marauders Family

Sirius had told him to go fuck himself in the comments and Regulus had signed onto his own account to simply send a smiling emoji back in response. He supposed he did understand why fans loved the two of them together. 

It wasn’t the reason he had started his podcast. He had done it in hopes that he could continue giving the advice he used to in columns. He loved it - it was more on his own terms and he loved having guests from the company join him. Peter had helped him set it up and get everything working. He still felt like he owed him for it - even though Peter had assured him he didn't. He had gone from recording in James’s office, to his own studio space in the Marauders Studio building. Sirius had become a common guest there after the first few Podcasts when he was visiting Remus. They became more common once he moved over to L.A. permanently. They had become so popular as a duo that Regulus had officially named it “The Black Brothers Postcast”. 

They had done Q&As in the beginning, but later they tended to give out more advice. Turns out, Sirius also had a knack for it and people were begging him and Remus for parental tips. One day, when Regulus was sick, he let Sirius guest host with Remus where they answered those questions. It was still one of the most popular episodes to date.

“Is he ready?” Regulus asks James, squeezing his hand tightly.

“I think so. He’s texted me a few times that he thinks he’s going to barf or shit himself, but he seems excited. Lily is ecstatic to be involved, of course, since the games will be run by her. Tonks and their girlfriend will probably stick with us for most of the night. I think Remus said that the kids will be occupied for a part of the evening because their favorite TV show is releasing a new episode tonight near midnight. According to Remus it’s a book adaptation Teddy really likes, and Hope just likes the badass spy escapes.” Regulus laughs.

“Sounds like her. I’m glad those two are still close. I know Remus was worried about that once Teddy started going to middle school.” 

“Yeah. I don’t think anyone can tear those two apart now. It doesn’t surprise me. You and Sirius are two years apart and you’re close as can be, especially since he moved in next door.” James’s phone goes off and he sighs.

“Alright, Remus is freaking out again.” Regulus chuckles.

“He does know Sirius is going to say yes, right? Like… there isn’t a universe where he says no.” 

“I know, but you know Remus Lupin’s anxiety complex. I think he wants everything to be absolutely perfect for him and will freak out until it’s over.” Regulus sighs and nods. 

“We should head over there before he destroys himself.”

“Yeah, probably. I’ll grab our coats while you post the livestream to Instagram.” James starts to head out of the room and Regulus huffs.

“Excuse me, sir, aren’t you forgetting something?” James freezes and looks at Regulus confused. Regulus rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. “No goodbye kiss?” James chuckles.

“Darling, I’m going to be right back.”

“Still.” Regulus pouts and James smiles, shaking his head. He comes back over and leans down and kisses Regulus. Regulus smiles and kisses back. 

“Mhmm,” He hums before James pulls away.

“I love you,” James says, kissing his forehead. Regulus beams up at him.

“I love you too.” 

***

“How are you feeling?” Tonks asks and Remus jumps in surprise.

“Oh, umm...” Tonks snickers as Remus rubs the back of his neck.

“You do know he’ll say yes, right?” Remus sighs.

“Everyone’s been saying that.”

“Because it’s true. You know Pads loves you - and you’re asking him on New Years. You know how special that holiday is to him.” Tonks was right. The first New Years they had spent together, Remus had asked to adopt Teddy. The second he had asked Sirius to move in with him in Los Angeles.. The third… Well, he was going to ask Sirius to marry him. 

Sirius and him had talked about it, of course, but a part of him worried it was too soon. After all, Sirius had only moved in that past May. But he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about getting on one knee the minute Sirius had officially claimed the other side of his room. He had started crying when Sirius had put his clothes next to his in his closet. Of course Sirius had run over to hold him, asking him what was wrong. Remus had clung onto him just repeating how much he loved him and he was glad he didn’t need to see a suitcase in the foyer for a long time. 

The only time he had needed to see that again was when Sirius had flown back to London for a bit in August to get some things settled with his company. He was transfering over leadership of the British arm of the company to Minerva McGonagall, his second in command, and she was transfering over her leadership of the American division to him. This shift hadn’t caused too much of a change in Sirius’s work, though he would grumble to Remus about the fact that American writers didn’t know how to use commas. Remus would argue that all writers tended to be bad at that. Sirius had rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway. It hadn’t taken long for Remus to hop on a flight to surprise him in London that time, especially after Regulus and James said they were planning on taking the kids on a camping trip. James really wanted to be the cool uncle and he thought Regulus was stealing that title from him without even trying.

“I do,” Remus confirms with a chuckle at the phrasing. Tonks smiles.

“You know, I hated you at first.”

“I remember. You made that very clear if I recall,” He says, nudging them affectionately.

“Hey! At that time I thought you were leading on my godfather who was very much in love with you.” Remus chuckles sadly.

“I mean, you weren’t wrong at the time. I was certain I couldn’t have a relationship with him, and I almost walked out on it… I still to this day can’t believe that I did that. God, I was so delusional to think I could ever live a life without Sirius in it.”

“I know. That’s why I was happy when you came back and told me you two were together.”

“I remember that. I told you that you didn’t have to be the only one taking care of him anymore.”

“Didn’t I… didn’t I start to cry?” Tonks asks, cringing slightly.

“You did, but hey, I did too, so,” Remus says with a shrug and Tonks laughs softly. 

“How are you and Fleur?” Remus asks, looking over at the blond haired girl who was chatting excitedly with Regulus. Apparently she was an English major who was very interested in using excerpts of his podcasts for some of her classes. He was sure Regulus was more than happy to indulge her.

“We’re… we’re good. I know what you were saying back then now. It’s weird to be loved for the first time and slowly let your walls down… I’m sorry I was so harsh on you.” Remus chuckles.

“Don’t worry about it. I kinda needed someone to yell at me like that. It knocked some sense into me.”

“It’s just… we’re so different. I worry sometimes that… that one day I’ll block her out and lash out or something. I’m so used to taking care of myself - not that Pads made me feel like I had too. It’s weird to let someone tell me I can let my guard down and I don’t have to carry it all anymore, you know?”

“I do,” Remus says honestly. “I’ll tell you, as someone who was incredibly independent before Padfoot came along, it’s a work in progress. Sometimes you’ll take leaps forward, and sometimes you’ll take a few steps back. It’s okay, and if Fleur loves you, she’ll understand.” Tonks looks down at their drink. Sirius had gotten sparkling apple cider for the kids, but they had given Tonks champagne anyway. They were legal age in England anyways, and it wasn’t like they’d be driving anywhere. They were a few months away from their 21st birthday and it felt wrong to deny it to them in the safety of their home.

“You haven’t told her you feel that way yet, have you?” Tonks shakes their head. 

“No…” They look over at Remus. “How did you do it?”

“Well, your godfather told me first and I had a tiny bit of a mental breakdown about it,” Remus admits. Tonks laughs and Remus joins her for a moment. “But… I think you’ll find your moment. You’ve got a lot of Black in you. I’m sure you’ll find the courage to say what you mean.”

“I know…” They sigh and look back over at their girlfriend. Fleur catches their eye and blushes slightly.

“Go talk to her,” Remus nudges Tonks gently. "I’ll be okay.” 

“Promise?” They ask, looking over at him. Remus nods. 

“Yeah. Now, go on.” He watches them walk away. Tonks pulls her aside and he watches as they lead her out to the hall.

“Should I be worried about them going to their room or?” Sirius asks, lying his head on Remus’s shoulder. Remus lays his head on top of Sirus’s and smiles.

“Their twenty years old Sirius. Even if they were, they are of age. Tonks is probably telling Fleur they love her though. So I don’t think that is something we should interfere with.” 

“ Oh ,” Sirius says tenderly. “I’m proud of them.” Remus kisses his forehead and he hears Sirius sigh happily. He looks up at Remus and Remus smiles back lovingly.

“There you are,” Sirius says gently. He reaches up and cups one of Remus’s cheeks. Remus tilts his head and raises his eyebrows. “You’ve been distant recently. You’ve been looking stressed.” Remus feels his heart pound nervously, but he turns and kisses Sirius’s palm. “You have nothing to worry about, you know that right love? The party is going wonderfully. The kids' show will end any minute now, and then they’ll be able to join in the pre-midnight games.”

“Mhmm,” Remus pulls Sirius into his arms. He allows himself to get lost in Sirius’s embrace for a moment, happy he has hidden the ring with James at how close Sirius is snuggling into his arms. James had been confused at first by this request, which Remus had understood. 

“Just pass it to me when it’s time,” Remus said when they were alone. “I know Sirius and I. We love to cuddle with each other, and the second he presses against me, he’ll feel the box. Regulus knows that you’re not proposing tonight, so he won’t suspect it.” James considered it before tucking it in his pocket. 

“I am going to tell him I’m holding it, just in case.”

“I mean, would it be the worst thing? You do have a ring.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t know that,” James says with a chuckle. “That’s for after New Years.”

“Do you have a day picked out?” James nods.

“Yeah, January 5th.”

“Oh?” Remus asked.

“The day he decided to stay with me. That’s the day our life together truly began. I kinda want to immortalize it, you know.” Of course Remus understood. It was the same reason he had picked New Years. It was his and Sirius’s day. It was their night. 

They are interrupted from their moment in the corner by a door slam.

“I cannot believe it!” Hope says coming downstairs and Sirius chuckles, pressing his forehead against Remus’s. 

“Speaking of,” He mumbles and Remus kisses his forehead.

“How could they kill her off! Why didn’t you tell me?” Hope continues.

“You asked me for no spoilers!” Teddy defends. “I stuck to my word.” They enter the living room and Hope rushes over to them.

“Dad! Pa! They killed Cassandra!” She cries and Sirius pulls her into his arms.

“I’m sorry sweetie. Want some snacks to cheer you up?” She nods. Teddy and Remus look at each other and Teddy sighs as they walk away.

“I warned her, Dad,” He says, rolling his eyes. “I told her not to get attached and she didn’t listen.” 

“Too much of your Pa in her.” Remus chuckles and ruffles Teddy’s hair. Teddy groans and fixes it back up.

“Alright everyone!” Lily calls from the middle of the room. “Now that the younger Lupins have emerged from their room, we can start the games!” Remus has to bite his lip to keep him from grinning. 

He remembered the phone call he and Sirius had gotten that fall all too well. They had been worried at first that Hope was sick or having trouble adjusting, but it hadn’t been that at all.

“Oh no. She’s fine,” Her teacher, Ms. Poppy Pomfrey had reassured them, “It’s just, her name is listed on my attendance as Hope Black. However, she has been signing her name and calling herself Hope Lupin. Has there been a name change in the family?" He remembered the blinding grin that had appeared on Sirius’s face.

“No, but Lupin is my partner’s last name. If she wishes to use that name, that is fine by me.” He looks towards Remus, raising his eyebrows. Remus had taken a deep breath before agreeing. After they hung up, Sirius had winked at him.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who wants to steal your last name.” He sauntered past him leaving Remus standing there stunned. Once he had gathered his senses he immediately ran after him. He practically tackled Sirius onto the couch and Sirius had laughed loudly. 

He had been confused by the declaration at first, but the more they discussed the topic, the more it made sense. He had talked with Sirius and Regulus alike about what they felt like their last name reminded them of. 

“I want my last name to remind me of the man I love,” Sirius had explained later that day. “Not the people who hurt me and a legacy I never wished to inherit. When the time comes, if it’s alright with you, I’d like to take your last name.” Remus had agreed immediately. I mean… Sirius wanted his last name. Why on earth would he say no?

“Good luck,” Teddy nudges him with a grin. 

“Thanks. I’ll need it.” He kisses Teddy’s cheek as he laughs, before moving forward towards Lily.

“Alright, we’re doing a identify your partner test," She announces.

“Oh?” Sirius asks from the other side of the room where he is standing next to Hope who is quickly downing her snacks. 

“I saw it online. The trick is, we’re going to go through all of the guys in the room first, then the ladies, and we’re going to test if you guys know who your partner is by touch. Remus, you’re going to start.”

“Oh, okay. Wow, we’re calling me out first,” Remus says with a laugh. He’s glad it’s convincing, because this was the plan. 

“Don’t think you can figure out who I am, darling?” Sirius asks, strolling over to him.

“No, I think I can easily. Maybe you and Regulus should take off your rings. Make it a bit harder.” Both him and Regulus groan, but comply. Peter gets up and Teddy calls from the corner of the room.

“Can I sit out for this one?”

“Sure, Teds.” Remus says. “Maybe bring out the champagne for later?” Teddy nods quickly. Monty pats him affectionately on the arm as they go into the kitchen.

“Alright, eyes closed!” Lily says to Remus. Remus nods, as she slips a blindfold on his face. 

“Alright, all four of you, order yourselves,” Lily declares. He hears a bit of shuffling before the first person steps up and holds his hand. He could admit, it felt a bit like Sirius, but Sirius had small calluses on his index finger from holding a pen or pencil while editing. No one but Remus probably knew that, but he was proud he did. Also this hand was a bit smaller than Sirius’s.

“That’s you Regulus, isn’t it?”

“Damn!” Regulus says with a laugh. "I was hoping to stump you." Remus laughs too before the second person steps up. His hands had much more calluses than Sirius and also were a bit more scruffed up.

“Okay, yeah, that’s James.” James shoves his shoulder affectionately, and he feels the box in James’s pocket press against his torso for a moment as he passes. His heart pounds in his chest and he tries to keep himself from smiling. The next person steps up and Remus realizes he didn’t even need the calluses to identify it. They fit together like a puzzle piece, always had. He lifts the hand to his lips and kisses it.

“Hi, baby.” Sirius nearly giggles as Remus pulls the blindfold off.

“Now that would’ve been really awkward if that was Pete,” Sirius says with a laugh.

“No, I know you, baby.” He kisses him quickly and Sirius smiles. “Your turn, love.”

“Okay.” He laughs, taking the blindfold from him and putting it on.

“Alright, order yourselves!” Lily says. James quickly steps up next to him and passes him the ring. 

“Do you want to go first?” Peter mouths and Remus nods. He looks over and sees their kids near the snack table. Hope is grinning, Teddy has his arms crossed, but is smiling, and Tonks is giving him a thumbs up. They have their arm around Fleur and Remus smiles to himself, glad that conversation went well. He takes a quiet deep breath.

“Good luck,” He sees Regulus mouth to him with a wink. James and Regulus both step back and Remus feels his heart pounding. He looks over at Mary who has her professional camera out and Peter who has grabbed his camera to video tape. He turns back to Sirius and nods at Lily who is practically bouncing in excitement. 

“Alright, first one up, go!” She says. He slides his hand effortlessly into Sirius’s. He watches Sirius smile and sigh happily.

“This game is going to end really fast. That’s Remus.” Remus chuckles.

“Correct, baby.” Remus gets down on one knee, and takes out the box. He hears Dorcas gasp sharply from the couch in surprise. They hadn’t told everyone Remus’s plan in an effort to keep it as secret as possible. “You can take the blindfold off.” Sirius hesitates. 

“Why did Dorcas gasp? Are you about to prank me?” Sirius asks. Remus laughs lovingly.

“No, my love. Go ahead and take the blindfold off.” He hears the camera shutter click as Sirius does and then he gasps. He uses the hand Remus isn’t holding to cover his mouth.

“Oh… oh my god… Remus…” He sees the tears start to well up in Sirius's eyes and he grins. 

“Sirius,” Remus begins.

“Oh fuck, I’m not going to make it through this without balling my eyes out am I?” Remus laughs, shaking his head lovingly.

“I doubt I will, but. Baby, I love you so much. Ever since the minute you stumbled up to that door, my life has been forever changed. You opened my eyes to the world around me and… I realized how much I had been missing. I’ve always thought I’m hard to love. I felt like I was. I thought I didn’t love like other people because, I didn’t feel that incredible breathtaking kind of love that I always wrote in my stories. But then... then you came along. You turned my world upside down, Sirius. Suddenly, loving you with everything in my soul was like breathing and… Life was so much more beautiful. It’s been so much better because you’ve been in it. All I’ve known ever since is I don’t want to stop experiencing that with you. I love you so incredibly much, and I know words will never fully describe it. You have given me the world. You’ve given me back my passion and the most incredible family I could ever ask for. We’ve been together only two years and I already know I want you to be with me for the rest of my life. So… Sirius Black,” Sirius chokes out a sob and Remus smiles, feeling tears running down his cheeks as well. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” Sirius says, tears pouring down his face now. “Yes, Remus Lupin. Of course I’ll marry you.” Remus grins as their friends and family cheer. He slides the ring on Sirius’s finger before standing up. Sirius quickly falls into his arms and Remus kisses him deeply. Sirius kisses back, clinging onto his suit jacket. 

“Oh my god, I love you so much,” Sirius says, continuing to hold onto him. He looks at the ring and laughs softly. “It’s even silver and… is it engraved?”

“Mhmm,” Remus hums and kisses his cheek. “The most important one is on the inside though. Sirius takes it off and raises it to his eyes. He chokes out another sob in surprise and Remus smiles. He pulls him closer and squeezes him gently. The outside was a star pattern, but the inside Remus had made sure was the best part.

Keep surprising me? 

The ring was signed in cursive script.

“I was thinking mine could have ‘always' engraved in it,” Remus whispers to him as their friends are talking among themselves excitedly. He gently slides it back on Sirius’s hand. “Just so we have something special that’s just ours."

“Yes. Oh god, that’s perfect, Moony.” He nuzzles him. “You’re perfect.” Remus kisses his nose and smiles.

“I think that’s you, my love.” Sirius shakes his head. Remus kisses his forehead, holding him close to him protectively. “Ready to finally steal my last name?”

“Yes,” Sirius breathes out happily. “Oh fuck yes.” Remus laughs lovingly and kisses him again. They pull away and he can tell Sirius is about to go in for another when they are hugged from the side. He looks down and sees Hope, Teddy and then Tonks joining the hug. Monty's laugh barrels through the room and Remus can't help his own from escaping his lips as he hugs them back. Our kids…

“Come on! I want to get a really good photo of you!” Mary says, dragging them out to the hall. She takes a few photos of them together and Remus can’t keep the grin off his face. Mary shows it to them and he notices the grin hasn't left Sirius's face either.

“They look great,” Sirius says, still a bit sniffly. 

“Thanks, I’m going to go through the rest of them tomorrow to get the best ones for you. Also Peter said he will send you the video in a bit. I think he kept recording until after your hug with the kids, so you have that too.”

“Oh that’s great. I was hoping someone caught that,” Remus says, pulling Sirius closer. Sirius moves willingly and snuggles into him.

“I may have too,” Mary winks and Remus shakes his head happily.

“You truly are the best.”

“I know,” Mary says with a laugh. “Now go, enjoy the rest of your night. I just figured you’d want at least a few of those before the night was over.” They go back in and Regulus and James walk over with extra champagne glasses.

“To our newly engaged couple,” James toasts and they laugh, clinking their glasses together.

“I don’t understand how you hid that ring from me,” Sirius says looking up at Remus adoringly. Remus pulls him closer by his waist and Sirius leans his head on his shoulder. “I was all over you all night.”

“Well, you have James to thank for that,” Regulus says, taking a sip of his drink.

“I was holding onto it for Remus. He gave it to me a little after I came in to give it to him during the game so you wouldn’t feel it,” James explains.

“Oh my god, so that was scripted too!”

“Maybe a little,” Remus admits and Sirius rolls his eyes lovingly.

“God, I love you.” Sirius turns inwards and Remus smiles, holding him close. "Sorry Reggie, I may have to defy you and elope with him tomorrow,” Sirius says over his shoulder. James laughs.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Regulus says with a smirk. “And as much as you’d get the satisfaction of proving me wrong, I do think you would like at least a small ceremony.”

“You’re right,” Sirius relents and turns back to Remus with a grin. “I’d want to show this one off too much for that.” Remus rolls his eyes affectionately. 

“I think that would be reversed, but I appreciate the thought.”

“Oh Moony, I don’t think you know the power you have.” Remus chuckles, remembering what he said to Lily on their first New Years together.

“Maybe I don’t like using it over anyone but you,” Remus flirts and Sirius’s smile widens.

“Yeah, okay, on that note, congratulations and I’m going to go to the bathroom and barf. Love you both,” Regulus walks off and James laughs. 

“Congratulations,” He says and squeezes both of their shoulders before walking off to join his boyfriend.

“To new beginnings,” Remus raises his glass.

“And new surprises?” Sirius asks, leaning closer. 

“Always,” Remus says softly. 

They toast and finish their glasses. Remus puts them down next to him before returning his attention back to his fiance… Holy crap, his fiance!

“COUNTDOWN!” Marlene shouts at the top of her lungs and Dorcas whoops excitedly. Remus quickly looks behind Sirius to see the kids with their noisemakers ready and Tonks next to Fleur, already kissing. He chuckles to himself and nuzzles Sirius.

“Everything alright?” Sirius asks as the group starts chanting the numbers in the background. He can hear Hope and Teddy practically screaming at the TV and smiles to himself.

“Perfect. I couldn’t ask for anything more.” He pulls Sirius closer by his waist. “I can’t wait for this next chapter, my love.”

“I can’t either. I think it’s going to be my favorite so far,” Sirius says, gently pushing one of Remus’s curls away from his eyes.

“I know it will be. You’re editing it,” Remus says, smiling. Sirius laughs and Remus grins, pressing their foreheads together.

“FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” The kids blow their nose makers and everyone cheers around them, but Remus doesn’t pay attention. He was kissing the love of his life in their living room. In their house with their family all around them. Remus found that he couldn’t have asked for a better surprise from the universe. 

He pulls Sirius closer and they sway to the music around them. Sirius hides in his neck and Remus relishes in the feeling of completeness that comes over him. 

Home...

The night is young. A proposal looms on the horizon, and a wedding with the Santa Ana breeze looms. Another ceremony will happen in the summer underneath a blanket of stars. A place where the past and present combine and a new union begins. 

A story has concluded, but yet the page still turns. 

A writer scribbles on the page and the story begins beneath a simple pen, a simple phrase. 

I have found, almost everything written about love to be true… 

I had once told my brother that true love was an extraordinary thought. Yet now I have seen the touch of fate seal both of our hearts within its fiery hold. 

I used to believe love was in grand romantic gestures. But that is not the case.

Love is in a simple breeze. Love is in a good morning or goodnight kiss. Love is in a triple hand squeeze. Love is in an open gate. Love is the moon, love is the sun and love is the stars that wish to stay beside them.

Love is everywhere and in everything. 

Shakespeare once said “journey’s end in lovers meeting”. 

I have to say I disagree. 

Journey’s don’t end. They begin with a meet-cute. They begin with a leap of faith. They begin when you open your heart to the world and see where it takes you.

Love ends, but love also begins.

That is, if you are ready for it. 

So tell me, my friends, are you ready for it?