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The last thing Jamie ever thought he would end up doing was going to Ted Lasso, the American rodeo clown and practically beg for his place at Richmond back. He also didn't expect the gaffer to turn him down either, explaining just how many bridges he had burnt. He deserved it. He knew that he didn't deserve a second chance he was just hoping they were willing to give him one to break the streak of ties they were having. With the firm no, he went back to Manchester and tried to figure out what was next for him. Maybe he could still score that deal on doing ecstacy in Ibiza for three straight weeks. He had no other options now, did he? No one wants you. Thankfully he hadn't made the phone call to his agent about that after all since Ted Lasso called him a few days later telling him that he could come back to Richmond. It was made clear his previous behaviour wouldn't be tolerated and he was made aware that no one really wanted him there. Not the other coaches, not the staff and definitely not the team but Jamie was okay with that. He figured he could win them all over, he could be pretty charming after all. Maybe he would buy them all ps5s or something— they would fucking love him.
What Jamie failed to realise was just how badly he burnt those bridges and the only ally he would end up with came in the surprising form of Richmonds new kit man.
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1.
Jamie hated to admit he was nervous since it made him feel soft but the idea of going into Nelson Road and facing all his former.. now current team mates he fucked over wasn't something he was looking to. His real first day back everyone had already been on the pitch by the time he got there so he didn't have to say anything but now.. he was going to have to or it would be even more awkward. Things were different, he could already tell and pretending like his behaviour before hadn't happened wasn't an option, even if he wished it was.
He was the first person to arrive that day which he had purposely done and he sat in the corner (where his cubby was cleverly put out of the way of the other lads, probably the gaffers idea). Jamie was ready by the time the rest of the players started to file into the room, everyone ignoring him while he silently listened in to their conversation. Against his better judgement he tried to make a joke which was met with silence and glares so he finished tying his boot and stayed out of it, only moving when Ted entered the room. Jamie had to psych himself up to make his apology but he did mange to ask Ted if he could say something and he made his apology, letting whoever wanted to, say their piece. Colin brought up that Jamie called him a jaundice worm in his hometown paper. He hit on Bumbercatch's mum, in front of his dad. He cupped a fart and put it in Richards face. He got them relegated. Even someone he didn't recognise was shouting things. I don't know you, but I don't like you! Ted ended up stepping in and nothing was resolved, Jamie thought he had done a good job but he wasn't stupid like many people believed. He knew this was going to take a lot more than an apology.. that whole getting the team ps5s idea was looking pretty good right about now.
Out on the pitch wasn't much better than his attempted apology. The team were going in on Jamie. He took hits from pretty much everyone but he didn't say anything, he just kept getting up without complaint, without snapping or pushing anyone back. He hoped that after they got it out of their systems everything would calm down and they could move forward as a team.
While everyone headed to the showers after training, Jamie headed to the boot room, wanting a little privacy from glaring eyes. He was stood alone, checking his torso since it had taken multiple hits during training and he was just about to lower his shirt when he heard a hiss from behind him and realised he wasn't alone like he hoped.
"Jesus, you scared me!"
"Sorry.. I didnt— I was going to leave but then I saw.. are you okay? Do you want me to get Coach Lasso or a medic?"
"No, no.. it's just a few bruises yeah? You don't mind if I sit here for a bit do you? Just.. until it's a bit quieter?"
The lad who he identified as the new kit man shook his head, motioning for him to sit while he continued to work. They didn't say anything but it wasn't awkward either. Jamie was just thankful for the first person who had been nice to him since he came back to Richmond and it felt good. Even if they didn't really know each other, the kit man gave him a place where he could relax and really, he couldn't ask for anything else.
Maybe he didn't deserve it but he was thankful for it.
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2.
Things with the lads didn't get much better over time like he hoped it would but Jamie got use to it. He didn't mind being left out when it came to their plans that he was purposely not invited to and he didn't mind when they ignored him, even when he had fucking mint ideas. What did get under his skin was Roy coming back and refusing to coach him. Everyone was so excited to have him back but Jamie couldn't muster up the same enthusiasm. He knew that they had issues to work out. Jamie had said and done horrible things but so had Roy. The difference seemed to be that Jamie was the only one willing to change but every time he tried with his newest coach, it all went to shit.
That day had been particularly bad, Jamie had tried to do what Keeley suggested and agree with everything Roy had said to him. It ended with Roy insulting his playing, his looks and his hair and though he didn't want to admit it.. Jamie was hurt. Hurt that Roy wouldn't coach him. Hurt that he would pointedly ignore Jamie and only Jamie. It wasn't fair. It was childish but no one cared. In fact he thought people might actually be enjoying it. It was like two different sets of rules for them both. Jamie wasn't allowed to be a prick to anyone but Roy was allowed to be a prick to not just anyone but one of his players? Didn't make any sense.. especially when Ted Lasso wouldn't do anything about it other than stop physical fights from breaking out.
After training Jamie stayed behind on the pitch, kicking balls at the goal post angrily. If he wasn't allowed to be a prick to people even when they deserved it, he needed to get his anger out somehow. The only other person left was the kit man, Will, who was packing up the sports drinks. Jamie kicked another ball against the post (which was definitely on purpose) only turning when Will squealed and ducked from the offending object.
"Sorry! I didn't mean too—"
Jamie stopped when he realised that Will was laughing. He had dropped all the bottles on the floor so Jamie went over to help pick them up, ignoring him when he said he didn't have to help. It was his fault, he did have to help. He wanted to help.
"Shouldn't you be out at Colin's birthday thing?"
"Wasn't invited." Jamie admitted. "Probably for the best, you know."
"That why you're out here taking it out on the goal post?"
He shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed that he cared about the fact he wasn't invited to the stupid birthday thing, especially when the coaches were invited. Roy was invited. The same man who had one headbutted Colin in a club but somehow that was forgiven but Jamie wasn't despite not being physical with anyone other than Roy who mostly started the fights in the first place (in his opinion).
Jamie let out a sigh, refusing to admit to having bought Colin a birthday card and that it was currently sat in his cubby since he had been too much of a pussy to actually give it to him. The worst thing they could have done was laugh at him.. or Colin could have ripped it up and binned it which wasn't the worst thing but still— Jamie didn't want to be the only one trying anymore. It was getting exhausting.
"I feel like I'm the only person that has to be accountable, yeah? Roy— he said on his stupid show before he came back that he hoped I died. I've never said anything that bad and I've tried to build bridges but he's being a big dumb hair baby twat and I just.. don't understand why I'm still here when this is hurting my career not making it any better."
"Jamie.."
"You don't have to say anything, I don't want to put you in the middle, yeah. It's just nice to vent to someone who doesn't hate me though I don't get why you don't hate me too, I wouldn't blame you."
"I don't hate you because you've been nothing but nice to me. I've heard how you acted before but I wasn't here and it wouldn't be fair for me to hate you for something I didn't witness or experience. I also believe in second chances, like coach Lasso said and you've not given any reason to show you don't deserve one and Roy will come around.. all the guys will eventually."
Jamie had no idea what came over him but hearing someone say that he deserved a second chance it just hit him that even though people couldn't see or didn't believe it.. he was changing for the better. Without thinking about it he flung his arms around Will, hugging him tightly which surprised Will into dropping all the bottles again but he eventually hugged back.
"Sorry.. I just.."
"It's okay. We could.. go get a drink if you want? The two of us.. " Will stammered. "Or we could not do that at all, yeah stupid idea."
"No, let's do it. I'd like that."
They didn't end up going for a drink. After Jamie cleared up the balls he had been kicking at the goal and Will finished the last few jobs he had to do, they ended up back at Jamie's playing the ps5, mainly fifa which Will was pretty bad at but Jamie did what he thought was the nice thing and let him win a few times which seemed to make him happy, even if he was aware Jamie was doing it.
The whole night he didn't give the lads and what they were doing a second thought and he didn't think about Roy fucking Kent either.
He was just excited that he had made a friend.
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3.
Jamie had never been big on birthdays. His mummy was really the only person who cared when he was little, his dad stating that only babies celebrated getting older, reminding him the older he got the less likely all his dreams were going to come true. So yeah, he wasn't one for birthdays but deep down, he wished that the team would do for him what they did for Sam when Ted first came to Richmond but he knew they wouldn't. They probably wouldn't even know it was his birthday plus he had plans, he and Will were going out to celebrate and honestly, he was looking forward to it.
When he got into Nelson Road, Jamie headed over to his cubby and was surprised to find an envelope with his name on the front. With a curious look around he tore it open and smiled at the card. It was one of those silly 'you're getting old as fuck' ones and seeing it was from Will only made him chuckle. Of course they made plans for after training but it was still surprising to him that someone would go out of their way to remember and actually get him a card. He propped it up in his cubby, his eyes moving to look at it every so often as he got changed.
"Is it your birthday?"
Jamie turned, unsure who even asked but it didn't matter since everyone was staring at him with their mouths hanging open, like they felt guilty. Especially Ted Lasso who looked like a kicked puppy but Dr. Sharon told him he wasn't responsible for other people's emotions, he tried to remember that and chose to just nod in response.
"Jamie, I'm sorry we—"
"It's fine, it's just another day. No biggie, yeah."
The day went on, the lads for once eased up on him during training, probably not wanting to risk injuring him on his birthday which was kind of nice, he supposed. He wondered if they expected him to invite them out to celebrate even though a few of their birthdays had passed and he was never invited. It was hard to know what the right thing to do was but this was another thing Dr. Sharon had talked to him about. Instead of doing what would make other people happy and comfortable, he was allowed to be a little bit selfish as long as it didn't hurt other people, when it was appropriate so Jamie made his decision and didn't invite the lads out. He already made plans with Will and he didn't want to spend his birthday feeling weird and awkward because he was spending it with people who didn't even really like him.
He got a few more happy birthdays throughout the day which was nice, the last being from Higgins who had specifically come down to say it since he apparently knew everyone's off the top of his head which Jamie thought was a little sad but also impressive. Not that he would admit that. He had waved the man off just as Will came back towards Jamie's cubby, finished with his work.
"Ready?"
The kit man nodded and they walked out into the parking lot together. Usually they took Jamie's car but Will lead them to his, stating that he had a surprise for Jamie which kind of set him on edge but he trusted Will so it should be fine, right?
The drive was short and despite Jamie asking a million times where the fuck they were going, Will kept tight lipped until they pulled up to a house and his eyebrows raised slightly.
"Mate if you've brought me here to kill me on my birthday.. that's pretty shit, innit."
Will laughed rambling on about how he just wanted Jamie to have a nice day and he didn't know if this was overstepping or making things weird and now Jamie really was panicking. Was it a party with the lads? He wasn't sure but when they entered the house it was eerily quiet until footsteps ran down the stairs and stopped in front of them.
"I can't believe you were actually telling the truth.. Jamie Tartt is in our house!"
The boy had to be at least 15 and he looked like a younger version of Will so Jamie took an educated guess that this was his brother.. that they were in his family home. Jamie followed behind as he was lead further into the house, into the kitchen where a woman that reminded him a lot of his own mum dropped what she was doing to go and hug her son and then Jamie who was surprised at the action but he returned it, melting into her embrace.
"When we heard that you couldn't go home for your birthday we had to get William to invite you over for a lovely home cooked meal and some cake."
He couldn't believe that anyone would want to go to this effort for him but it felt nice and the anxiety he'd had melted away after meeting Will's dad who was pretty much another, older version of Will. Kind and welcoming to the point he would find it suspicious if he didn't already know their son. The Kitman family were amazing, Jamie would probably say they're the nicest family he had ever met.
He spent the night with Will's family, feeling loved for the first time in a long time— by people who didn't even know him that well and he had to admit it had been the best birthday he'd had since he was a kid. The dinner was mint, the cake was his favourite which he was guessing Will had done some digging and found that information out and he could talk about football with Will's brother for hours. It was a nice day (and night) and he still couldn't believe that Will had done that for him. It was the best gift he could have been given that year after feeling out of place for so long and he knew he would never, ever forget it.
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4.
Jamie knew that coming into Nelson Road hurt was stupid. After a run in with his father he could usually get away with playing injured, he could force himself to play through it but this time he couldn't. He could barely put his fucking shirt on without almost passing out and he actually cared about the team and didn't want to slow things down in training because he was injured so he decide to do the right thing, he decided to go in and tell them he was hurt and couldn't train. What he wasn't expecting was the reaction he got.
"You're hurt?"
"Seriously Jamie."
"Come on boyo."
"Fragile little bitch.."
It went on and Jamie realised that no one believed he was hurt. Maybe he deserved that. It was the sheep calling the pot black.. or whatever. He ignored them, didn't protest and instead went out onto the pitch to join in with training because he couldn't risk Ted forcing him off the team and if anyone noticed he wasn't okay.. that he was slower than usual no one said anything, at least none of the coaches or players said anything.
As soon as they got inside, Will was by his cubby, a worried look etched on his face.. which yeah, wasn't unusual for Will but it was unusual directed at Jamie. He sighed and followed the kit man to the boot room without any protesting. He knew what this was about, Will was more observant than he'd like people to believe and part of Jamie found that unnerving.
"Jamie, you're hurt?"
"Yeah, I know mate. I did say—"
"You could have shown them, forced them to see that they were wrong. That this isn't like whatever happened last time that they keep referencing."
Jamie looked down at his shoes, embarrassed. He knew Will was right. He should have went and spoke to Ted, Beard, Roy or Nate privately but how could he? Ted looked the other way when he saw Jamie with his dad after Man City beat them, Beard didn't want to talk to him, Roy didn't want to coach him and Nate.. well, Nate probably would have enjoyed seeing Jamie hurt and that would have been fair.
The truth was, Jamie didn't really have anyone at the club he trusted but he was slowly starting to trust Will. Not enough to tell him what really happened but enough to be honest about his injuries without feeling like he was going to be judged.
"Was embarrassed, it's fine.. yeah. It's not that bad."
Will looked torn on whether to believe him or not so he lifted his kit up so he could see the battered ribs and bruises that looked suspiciously like a footprint and yeah, okay.. maybe that wasn't going to help his case but he shrugged, pulling his kit down again.
"Did you get into a fight? I thought you were visiting your mum in Manchester?"
"No, it was more like an ambush." That wasn't a lie. "Some Man City fan that hated me playing for Richmond yeah, not a big deal." That was a lie, technically.
Will seemed to accept it though and nodded, letting him go back to his cubby to get changed which worked out since it meant the other lads were gone and wouldn't see the bruising. He wasn't sure they would all believe his story as quickly as Will did.
Once he was done, Jamie headed out to his car only to find Will waving him over.
"Come on, I'm driving you home."
He knew there was no point in arguing so he just nodded and shoved his bag in the back of the car, getting into the passenger side before moving to mess with the car radio since he couldn't stand the silence. Will didn't seem to mind when he settled on Capital FM.
Once they arrived outside of Jamie's house, he got out of the car and paused.
"Do you want to come inside? Hang out?"
The quickness of Will agreeing surprised him. He had never had a proper friend before, at least someone who liked him for him and not football. Growing up his dad made it clear that friends were a waste of time but having a friend, someone who was worried about him and wanted to spend time with him felt good and he was thankful to be experiencing that, even if it was a little later in life than most people.
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5.
Jamie tried so fucking hard to hide the relationship he had with his dad from people. It was embarrassing, right? When he was a kid he would blame the bruises on falling down the stairs, bumping into things or footie training. They believed him. Or they wanted to believe him so ignored the obvious fսcking signs because that was easier than dealing with the truth. Even Ted fucking Lasso had ignored it. He heard Jamie talk about his dad during the curse fire bullshit. He saw James throw a boot at him, made eye contact and walked away.. he watched in Wembley as Jamie was berated, mocked and humiliated in front of the team.. the staff and again, he walked away but the rest of the team stayed, trying not to stare at him as he fell apart.
Fuck.
After Beard kicked his father out and Roy hugged him, Jamie wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He was genuinely considering leaving the club. How was he supposed to face them now that they knew his biggest secret? Something he had kept hidden for so long. He felt weak and embarrassed and so he didn't show up to training the next day.. or the day after that.. or the day after that. He powered his phone off and ignored the world, wanting to forget it ever happened.
It was his fourth day of missing training and he knew the lads were probably pissed at him. Ted was probably angry that he was making a mess of his second chance at Richmond. He tried to get up.. he tried to get ready but in the end he couldn't leave his house. He was a coward who couldn't face it.
He was a fragile little bitch, Roy was right.
When the sound of his doorbell echoed around his home he thought that was it. He figured Ted had come to fire him or the lads had come to have a go at him for not showing up but when he opened the door and Will was standing there, he felt all his worries deflate but he still couldn't look him in the eye. Instead he moved to the side so Will could come in and in silence they walked into the living room.
"Are you okay?"
Jamie's head snapped up, his brows raising in confusion. Why would he be asking that?
"What— aren't you here to like.. tell me the team hate me for what happened?"
Will looked just as confused as Jamie now, shaking his head no. He also looked a bit hurt and Jamie couldn't help but feel slightly guilty about that.
"I just wanted to come make sure you were okay, you're my friend, Jamie." A second of silence passed before he continued. "The coaches and team are worried that you aren't showing up or replying to your texts."
He snorted in response. There was no way they were worried about him. Sure, the lads were okay with him now but it wasn't like they were close, they tolerated him. The same with the coaches.
"Come on, everyone loved that. They just stood there, watched it happen and who could blame them yeah? I'm the person who made most of their lives hell for too long. Probably thought I deserved it."
"No— no one deserves to be treated like that. The team are worried about you, keep asking me if I've heard anything from you. Roy had to stop them all from coming over to make sure you were okay. Thought you needed some more time alone."
He was surprised by that, genuinely surprise but didn't say anything and neither did Will for the longest time. They just sat there in the silence until eventually, Will was the one to break it.
"So is he uh.. always like that? Your dad? You don't have to tell me."
Jamie nodded his head, what was the point in lying now? They'd all seen. The look on Will's face made him wish he hadn't though. He always fucking hated that look.. of pity. If he didn't need a friend right now he probably would have lashed out, pushed him away but instead he just stayed eerily quiet.
"When I was a kid, when he realised I was good at footie he would come around and at first it was mint but then it wasn't, you know? Loved me when I was doing great.. hated me when I was having an off day. When I was good I was the best son in the world, he'd be bragging to all his mates, yeah? When I wasn't as good he would be on me.. he would try to teach me a lesson because his son had to be the fucking best.. not just during matches or training it was all the fucking time. Richmond was the first time I got to just play without worrying about him because he didn't care about me after I left Man City.. unless we were playing them, clearly."
Will didn't say anything, instead he rest his hand on Jamie's knee. It was grounding, much like the hug from Roy Kent had been and he needed it. He needed that touch more than anything.
"You're coming back, right? To Richmond?"
He had to smile at the worry in Will's voice. No one had ever wanted him around before. He remembered the last time he left and the relief it probably was for most of them. If he left again, would it be the same?
"Yeah mate, I'm coming back."
The promise left his lips before he had even thought about it and he found himself actually meaning it. He would go back and he would take the jokes and pity because Richmond was his team, the only place he had left and even if he did have other options he wasn't sure he would want to be somewhere else. He was starting to enjoy the career he was making for himself with Richmond.
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+1.
Most of the lads had already gone for the night but Jamie had stayed behind, talking to the coaches about something that really wasn't that important. When he rounded the corner he noticed the door was open and he didn't think anything of it until he heard Nate's voice drifting through the halls. Clearly upset about something and taking it out on some poor lad.
You ever do anything like that to humiliate me again, I'll make your life a fucking misery!
The sound of the door slamming caused him to look towards the door and his heart sank when he saw the person Nate's anger was directed at was Will. The look on his face as he closed the blinds over shattered his heart. He knew how excited Will had been at the kit idea so the anger boiled through him at the thought of him being berated for it and he also couldn't help but feel guilty. He had treated Nate like shit, was that how he felt when Jamie constantly ragged on him? Was that the look he had on his face because of Jamie? It felt so long ago but if he really thought about it, it wasn't that long ago and maybe the way he treated Nate had fucked something up in him, maybe this was his fault.
"Hey Nate— uh coach, wait up yeah?"
Nate turned to look at him. Like a deer caught in headlights. Since he had come back to Richmond he hadn't really spoken to Nate much at all. The most he got was a direction on the pitch or a look when Jamie said something stupid which was more often than not.
"Look, I know you're embarrassed by what happened with the whole wonderkid thing but Will just wanted to do something nice for you because you're part of the team or whatever. You didn't have to treat him like that man, it's not going to make you feel better.. trust me."
There was a moment of silence between them, Nate staring out of either surprise he had been caught or anger that Jamie had the nerve to talk to him about the way he was treating someone else. Jamie understood that. He had made Nate's life a living hell when he came to Richmond but he was different and he wasn't about to stand around and watch him treat someone he cared about like that. Even if it was hypocritical or whatever.
Nate didn't response other than a muttering a 'sorry' but it wasn't directed at him.. no it was directed over his shoulder and Jamie was surprised to see Will standing behind him, wide and wet eyes on him, frozen in place. Did he fuck up? Maybe it wasn't Jamie's place to say anything? He hadn't had a proper friend that he wanted to defend before, this was all new to him and he thought he was doing the right thing but maybe he wasn't? Fuck. What if Will was angry at him? He needed to fix it and fast.
"Will, I didn't— I mean I didn't think I just saw you were upset and wanted to help, yeah but I'm sorry if I overstepped i didn't mean too. It's just you're kind of my best friend and— oof."
He was cut off by Will crashing into him, arms wrapping tightly around him. He was getting good at this apologising thing, wasn't he? With a proud smile, he carefully wrapped his arms around Will, his hand resting on his back mirroring the way Roy's hand once lay on his own.
"Thank you, Jamie."
With another small smile, this time directed at Will, he nodded. He waited until Will was ready to part from the hug and followed when his friend headed back to finish his job, stopping again when Will did, confused at the abrupt action.
"What are you doing?"
"Coming to help, then we're going to leave and find a way to make this day a little better, yeah?"
He didn't argue, Will just nodded his head before starting to walk again. The silence between them not awkward but comfortable, at least it was until Will broke it.
"You're my best friend too, you know."
Jamie was surprised to hear that he was his best friend. Sure, Will was his but unlike Will he didn't have a lot of people who liked him. He felt this warm feeling in the pit of his stomach at the thought that he was someone's best friend.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."