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She's Always Smiling

Chapter 18: Keep Quiet

Summary:

Summary: Lies can never stay hidden

Notes:

Major Warnings: None
Please always heed the tags for warnings

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The morning has risen and the air begins to heat. The Atlanta group sits surrounding the breakfast fire, munching on eggs and some preserved bacon the Greene family had gifted them. It’s noticeable how Carl and Bella sit separated from their parents and how cold the air around Bella is.

Shane chews at the unseasoned eggs as Glenn walks forward in a bundle of nerves. His gaze lifts uninterested at the man. “Hey… hey, guys?” The man moves foot-to-foot as all eyes draw to him. “Um, so…” Gleen sneaks a look at Dale who encourages him with a nod. And it is with a deep breath that he says, “The barn is full of walkers.”

The silence that follows forces ringing into everyone’s ears. Shane is livid. 

In a flash, Shane leads the pack of worried people towards the barn. Questions are thrown at Glenn and into the air but none get answered as everyone gathers around the front of the barn. 

Shane takes a small peek into the darkened barn before walking back to the group. The pungent smell nauseates everyone’s stomachs and they hope the wind stops blowing it towards them. “You cannot tell me you're all right with this.” Shane states at Rick as he paces the entrance of the barn, only a stone throws away from the dangers inside.

Rick shakes his head, “No I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land.”

“This is our lives!”

“Lower your voice.” Glenn begs.

Bella stands next to Carl outside the angry mess of adults, hand-in-hand. “We can't just sweep this under the rug.” Andrea states, swinging an arm up to the barn.

Shane pulls back slightly, “It ain't right. Not remotely.” He looks at Rick’s face in search. “Okay, we've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or… we've just got to go.” Shane tries to finalize to the group, he had let the search go on but this wasn’t something he’d ignore. “Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time.”

Rick shakes his head, “We can't go.”

“Why, Rick? Why?”

Carol takes a small step forward, “Because my daughter is still out there.”

Shane huffs harshly, “Okay.” His hand rubs against his face before pulling onto his hips, “Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility.” He tells the mother.

“We're not leaving Sophia behind.” Rick tells Shane.

Daryl moves forward towards Shane, “I'm close to finding this girl. I just found her damn doll two days ago.” His voice is thick in his redneck accent.

“You found her doll, Daryl.” He claims, annoyed into the group, “That's what you did. You found a doll. ” A doll was nothing here… and in a creak. Sophia could be anywhere- if she’s still even alive.

Daryl wobbles close to Shane’s face, “You don't know what the hell you're talking about!” He shouts in anger.

The shouting starts to burn Bella’s chest and raise the hackles on her back. It’s here . The thing is here watching… listening to their shouts. It’s getting closer with each.

Carl can feel the tightened grip from Bella, his bones rub harshly together in his hand. He goes to tell Bella off but the girl’s wide-eyes stop him cold… she’s terrified, staring at the group.

“I'm just saying what needs to be said.” Shane tells the redneck. “You get a good lead, it's in the first 48 hours.”

“Shane, stop.”

Shane doesn’t stop. “Let me tell you something else, man. If she was alive out there and saw you coming all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction.” The man spits at Daryl who launches at Shane in anger. The pair tussles,  barely laying hands on each other, because they are caught midair by others in the group.

Lori pushes at Shane’s chest once they are fully separated, groups divide slightly to reveal the entrance of the barn to the kids that stand away. “Back off!” Lori commands Shane.

Shane raises a finger, “Keep your hands off me.” He spits at Lori before pacing away.

Everyone watches Shane pace, “Now just let me talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out.” He tells everyone in the group.

“What are you gonna figure out?!”

Rick turns getting angrier, “If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land .”

“Hershel sees those things in there as people… Sick people…” Dale stops everyone, heads turning in his direction as he steps forward slightly, “His wife, his stepson.”

“You knew?” Rick accuses.

Dale nods simply, “Yesterday I talked to Hershel.”

“And you waited the night?” Shane calls.

“I thought we could survive one more night.” Dale tells the hotheaded man with a twisted face,  “We did.” He states clearly into the air. “I was waiting till this morning to say something. But Glenn wanted to be the one.” He says easily to the group.

Shane walks close to Rick, “The man is crazy, Rick, if he thinks those things are alive.”

And more arguing begins as Bella watches. Carl tries to shake Bella, tries to get her to speak but nothing works and her grip is getting tighter. “Shane!” Carl finally calls into the air. But no one turns as everyone bites at each other's throat. “Shane!” He shrieks so loud everyone turns to the kids.

The group goes silent as the father rushes forward with Rick at his side. Shane drops to his knees and grasps at Bella’s unmoving face. “Bella? Princess, what’s wrong?” He questions as she doesn’t move. Next to Shane, Carl tries pulling out of Bella’s grasp again. Rick’s eye catches it and tries pulling Bella’s hand out of Carl’s but her strength is inhuman. “Bella! What’s wrong?”

“You need to stop shouting…” She whispers to the group as her eyes continue to stare at the barn doors, doors that are only stopped but the lock that lays on it. The doors swing viciously outwards and inwards as the walkers inside push to leave, as they fight to get the fresh flesh outside the wood door.

Everyone jumps away from the doors and gathers back towards the kids. Bella’s hand finally loosens enough for Carl to pull away but he keeps them intertwined. “Bee?” He whispers to the girl that still has fear pulled across her face.

It’s here, Carl…” She tells the boy, finally drawing her gaze to him. “ It won’t leave me alone.” The girl nearly cries to her friend. 

And the confused boy merely stares at the girl as she looks back to the barn. Her gaze barely leaves it even as she is dragged away alongside Carl, Lori, and Glenn who leads the mother and children back to the camp. Rick and Shane remain to talk without spectators.

Tensely, the group goes about their day, their eyes glancing back-and-forth from their current task to the ticking time bomb that is a barn full of walkers. Rick walks inside the farmhouse, members of the Greene family leaving to their own chores, except Hershel, who sits at his grand dining room table eating cut fruit with a book spread open in his hands.

“A little light reading for lunch?” The sheriff questions lightly as he approaches the farmer’s right side. The room is flooded in the midday sun and calmness.

Hershel barely looks up to the man as his boots clink on the hardwood floors, “Been working so hard lately I get my studying where I can.” The Greene family was working hard tending to the vast fields and animals on the farm- repairing damage, milling the dirt, and preparing the farm for the approaching winter. The season would be on them faster than they realize.

Rick hooks his hands into his belt, “You know we can help you out with your work.”

Hershel finally raises his head, “It's my field to tend.” He states before continuing to eat his fruit chunks.

The men go quiet for a moment. “We found the barn.” Rick says gently.

“Leave it be.”

Rick stares at Hershel’s bowed head that continues reading his small book. “Well, I'd like to talk about it, but either way... your barn, your farm, your say. ” 

The farmer raises his head  “I don't want to talk about the barn. I don't want to debate.” His voice is firm but is tired, as though he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Rick shakes his head, “Not a debate- a discussion.” He needs this. His group needs this and they are going to figure it out one way or another. They can't go back out there not with… not with Lori being pregnant. God- she was so scared when Rick found her last night, down on her knees with a pile of vomit an arms length away. Rick had found the piles Glenn had scavenged for her, the three packages ripped open and empty laying on the table in their tent… what if Carl had seen them? Why didn’t she tell Rick?... It doesn't matter now. Lori wants the pregnancy, so they’re going to figure this out.

Hershel finally makes eye contact with Rick. “I need you and your group gone by the end of the week.” The farmer is final and smooth in his command.

Rick’s stomach doesn't drop at his command. “I talked to Dale. You and I have our differences with the way we look at the walkers. Those people, they may be dead, they may be alive.” He leans over the table, voice straining in seriousness, “But my people, us, we are alive right now, right here, right in front of you. You send us out there and that could change.” He tells the man.

Hershel and his people have been hidden on the farm, hidden from the horrors and truths of the new world. They’ve only seen the walkers as fully intact bodies… not ripped in half or missing legs or the skin burned off their bodies… but Hershel doesn't believe it. “I've given you safe harbor. I have turned my eyes to your small thefts. My conscience is clear.” He tells Rick seriously.

Rick pulls back slightly. “Thefts?”

The farmer nods his head gently, “Someone has been stealing gauze and tape.” Hershel looks deeply into Rick’s eyes, “If you can do that, I’m sure you will be fine.” 

Rick shakes his head, “This farm... This farm is special. You've been shielded from what's been going on out there.” He tells the man gently- he needs Hershel to understand the new reality. “Dale said you saw everything happen on the news. Well, it's been... It's been a long time since the cameras stopped rolling.” Hershel folds his book closed and leans back to listen to the sheriff’s words. “The first time I saw a walker it was just half a body snapping at me from the ground. My inclination wasn't to kill it… But what the world is out there isn't what you saw on TV. It is much much worse and it changes you. Either into one of them or something a lot less than the person you were.” Hershel’s face doesn’t change as he listens to Rick but he listens. “Please do not... do not send us out there again.” Ricks begs the man. “My wife's pregnant. That's either a gift here or a death sentence out there. If we were to stay we could help you with the work, with securing this place. We can survive together.” Rick begs Hershel, his chest twists so painfully as he speaks. He needs this farm and Hershel, Lori will need a doctor and a safe place. Her pregnancy with Carl wasn’t an easy one, especially the birth.

“Rick, I'm telling you we can't.”

Rick leans back, “You think about what you're doing.” He tells Hershel seriously.

“I've thought about it.”

“Think about it.” Rick tells his harsher.

Hershel responds in kind, “I've thought about it.”

Rick leans towards him, “Think about it again.” He spits harshly, “We can't go out there.” Rick eyes Hershel before turning and leaving the farmhouse. The old farmer would need time to think over their conversation and Rick had someone else to tend too.

The sun beats harshly onto his head as he approaches Shane. The man leans against the rickety wooden fence that surrounds the front of the barn. Shane offers Rick a slight turn of his head before turning his eyes back to the barn. “What's it gonna be, man? Which way does this thing go?” He asks into the air, hand resting on his weapon as though the barn would fall apart releasing the walkers.

“I don't know yet.” Rick sighs.

Shane turns to Rick now that he is an arm's length away. “Well, what did he say?” He questions.

“We're negotiating.”

Shane looks at Rick in disbelief, leaning forward and back before rubbing at his face, “You're nego-… Clock's ticking, Rick.” Shane tells him seriously.

“No it isn't, Shane.” Rick responds simply. He turns towards the barn and points at it, “That barn... The barn is secure. We didn't even know about it till this morning. We didn't.” 

“Well, we know about it now. Right?” Shane tells him in turn. “We know there's over a dozen walkers in there. We know that it's about a stone's throw from our camp, Rick... Where we sleep.” Shane couldn’t believe Rick was going to gamble with this. Sure the walkers are secure now but what if that changes; it’s just a wood barn. “So look, if we're not gonna go in there and clear it out then we just got to go.”

Rick shakes his head and stands between Shane and the barn, “We're not gonna clear it out and we're not gonna go.” 

The man sighs in annoyance, “We at least need our guns.”

“We can't have them, not here.” He tells him, looking down at the gun on Shane’s waist.

Shane paces lightly, the anger radiating off his skin. “Why do you want to stay here when it's not safe?” He asks Rick, walking back to the man.

“We can make it safe.”

“How are we gonna do that?”

“We will, okay?”

Shane shakes his head, “No, man, it's not okay.” He states in a raised voice.

Rick growls lightly, “Shane- Lori's pregnant .” His voice is raised but cut, freezing both men in their place, “We need to stay.” Rick tells him.

“We can find somewhere else.” Shane tells Rick, “A safer place- I’ve already been looking.”

Rick pulls back as Shane brushes the revelation away, “You knew?” He questions in a suspicious voice.

“Bella told me…” He tells the man. Rick raises his eyebrows in disbelief, “I don’t know how she found out.” 

Rick nods his head harshly. “Just… just let me figure this out.” He begs his brother. They could figure this out, Rick just needed a moment to think.

Shane nods to the man before he turns to head back towards camp. “Hey Rick?” Shane calls out, stopping Rick short. The man barely turns around to face Shane, “Congratulations- Lori’s having a baby.” 

“Thanks.” Rick continues his walks towards the camp and towards the children that sit in the field with a couple books and water bottles resting on the blanket they sit on.

Bella reads intently at a ‘medical book for dummies’ that she had stolen from the CDC. Carl next to her, barely, reads from his history book his mother had gotten from the RV. The pair had been silent since they were pulled away from the barn, silent as they sat down on the blanket, not a word spoken about what had happened. But what kind of friend would Carl be if he didn’t question Bella?

He snaps his book close. “Bee? What did you mean…” He starts freezing the girl in her reading. He clears his throat, “When you said ‘ it ’ was following you?”

Bella looks up quickly before looking back at her book and flipping the page, “Nothing… I was just scared.” She says simply.

“Yeah, I noticed.” Carl agrees, causing Bella to roll her eyes gently at him. Carl tosses his book away from himself, “I’ll just keep asking until you tell me…” He sings softly at her.

Bella sighs and closes the book, holding it tightly as an anchor. “Since you were shot… I feel like something…” She starts quickly. She looks towards Carl but doesn’t raise her eyes. “I feel like something is following me… hiding in the shadows.” Carl knows she is being honest as she finally meets his eyes, “Mostly my nightmares.” She tacks on.

Carl nods, “Have you told Shane?”

Bella shakes her head and tosses the book away, a loud thump coming from the book as it snaps on the ground, “I can’t tell my daddy about it.” She tells him.

“Why not? It’s Shane.”

Bella adjusts herself on the blanket- more comfortable now that she has finally said something… knowing Carl didn’t think her insane. “Our daddies have enough to worry about… they’re just some nightmares.” She tells him.

Carl doesn't believe her and they both know it; yes, their dads are busy but they’re their dads… they’ll always have time for them. “But you felt it when you were awake.” He states to the girl and she doesn’t respond- she doesn't know how to. “Maybe it’s an angel?” Carl offers her.

Bella laughs and drops her head to her shoulder, “An angel? You know I don’t really believe in that stuff.” She reminds Carl.

The boy shrugs in his seat and thinks back. “Well, mom says angels can be scary… but they still look over you when you need it.” He tells her, “Maybe it's just a scary angel that’s trying to protect you?” 

Bella nods in thought. “I like that better than anything I was thinking of.” She admits to him with a small smile.

They smile at each other in calmness and gratitude, they’ve been looking over each other, they have too.

Bella reaches for a book that she plans to read aloud, the same book she started some days ago when Carl was finally awake. But her plans are interrupted as Rick comes over to the pair. “Hey, Carl, Bella.” He starts to duo. Carl looks up to him with a smile. And Rick touches his head gently as he bends down next to the blanket. “Why don’t you go find your mom?” He tells Carl.

The boy looks between Bella and Rick, the girl has her head bowed away. “But we’re-” He starts.

“I need to talk to Bella.” Rick interrupts. Carl gives Bella a quick look but the smile she offers tells him to get up, that she’ll find him once his dad is done talking to Bella. He stands, adjusting his clothes before walking away back to the main camp where Lori works. Bella and Rick watch him leave. “Have you told Carl?” Rick asks the girl once he’s certain no one can hear them.

“No, Mr. Grimes.” She responds to the man’s still turned back.

He turns his head and looks pointedly at the girl, “Do you know anything else?” He questions.

“No.”

Rick gives the girl a knowing smile, “You're lying…” He says simply, “you need to work on that.” He tells her. The girl may be able to lie at times, like everyone, but this was not one of the times.

Bella sighs and looks up at the man. “What do you want me to say, Mr. Grimes?” She asks him but she turns her head past Rick’s shoulder to the quick approaching figure of her daddy.

He walks up quickly, “Bella.” The girl stands and gives the sheriff a small nod in goodbye before following after her daddy. They walk farther away from the camp. “What was Rick talking to you about?” He asks harshly looking at the now standing figure of Rick. The girl doesn’t respond fast enough for Shane, “Bella. I’m tired of this attitude.” He tells her but she remains quiet and Shane snaps. The man grabs harshly at Bella’s shoulders pulling her close. Shane may be dropped on his hunches, lower than Bella’s face, but his aura surrounds them. “Enough. Do you understand me?” He spits with a snap shake of her shoulders, Bella tries rolling them away from the pressure Shane’s fingers force on them. “You’re not grown. You aren’t right. You’re a child. A child that needs to remember their place.” He growls at the girl.

“I just want us to be safe.” She tells him quietly, pain slowly lacing her voice.

“That’s not your job!” He growls and his grip tightens even more causing the girl to whimper. “That’s my job! I keep us safe! I keep us fed and alive- not you.” He pulls her close, stopping her struggle to get away, “So stop acting like a whiny brat and act the way I raised you.” He commands her in a voice he’s never heard. 

Bella can’t believe how her daddy is acting. The pain he’s forcing into her shoulders and the harsh voice he speaks to her in. Why can’t he see she’s just trying to help? “You’re not my daddy…” She whispers to herself. It’s all her little mind could think… her daddy would never be like this so it must be someone else… someone wearing her daddy’s face. Shane tells her to repeat herself. “ You’re hurting me .” She cries and kicks away from the man. 

Shane grunts at the pain in his shin and looks in surprise and worry as Bella falls to the ground before jumping up and running towards the house where some of the group had gathered and she can see Carl standing.

Shane’s world twists in his vision and he walks forwards but the call from Glenn stops him. The young man stands atop the RV where Dale is meant to be. And Shane’s anger grows, telling the young man to go get him water leaving the watch to him.

Glenn nods concerned and goes to the house where Bella has run up the steps, tears beading in her eyes. “Bee?! What happened?!” Carl calls out from the living room where he sits.

The girl wipes harshly at her eyes and turns her back to him, “Noth-nothing… it’s nothing.”

Carl leaps from his seat and circles on the girl, “You’re crying… Bee?” He grabs at her hands and pulls them away from her face. And his grip tightens, “Your side is bleeding.” He tells her.

The girl pulls out a hand and touches her right hip where blood is soaking into her large shirt. The door of the house snaps closed as Glenn enters. His eyes almost jump out his head at the site of blood on Bella’s pale fingers and her crying form.

He calls out for Maggie who rushes over. “Maggie- get your dad.” He commands her and she rushes off at the site of the scene.

Glenn grabs the young girl picking up her shirt gently. “I’m fine, Mr. Glenn.” Bella says tiredly to the man.

“What happened?” Hershel calls coming into the main room.

Bella pulls away, “It’s old. I’m alright.” She sniffles wetly and wipes her face once more.

No one believes the girl and it doesn’t help as Lori comes inside too, Carl calling out to her. “Mom! Bella’s hurt!”

“I said ‘I’m fine’!” Bella shouts, pulling away. Shocked faces turn to the young girl as she grabs hard at the wound. “I’m fine- I’m fine…” She whispers to herself as tears fall once more, soaking her shirt as they fall.

Carl grabs Bella and leads her down to a seat Glenn had pulled forward. She drops harshly into it and Carl finds a place on her left side, a cover for her to curl up in. 

Hershel sits with his bag at his side. Glenn pulls gently at her shirt to give the doctor a view of the wound. “It’s not a bite.” Glenn tells the women that have gathered around.

Hershel works carefully. The wound is a deep red beading with falling blood, the skin around it is tender and bright red with irritation. The young girl barely moves even as Herhsel pulls at the torn scab that had ripped apart. “Now I know where my spare supplies have been going.” He says outloud and Bella doesn’t even turn her head. “Hold onto her. There’s a bullet fragment under her skin.” He tells Carl and Glenn who grasp tight onto the girl.

“Bullet?” Carl questions louder than the murmuring from the group.

“We’re twins…” Bella smiles into Carl’s shoulder.

Lori steps forward as Hershel cleans his twisters. “How could she-"

“The pieces I pulled from your son didn’t make a full bullet.” The doctor explains to the mother. He nods towards the two men that hold the girl and places a supporting hand against her stomach. The metal enters under the girl's skin, so thin and pale the metal’s gleam can be seen through it. “I had thought the other was stuck in the deer but it seems…” He comments as he latches onto the fragment and pulls it out. The girl doesn't move even as blood bubbles up from the wound and the clank of the fragment falls into the small metal dish. “It was here instead.”

Carl looks at Bella, “Doesn’t it hurt? You barely moved, Bee.”

“Of course it hurts… I just don’t care right now.” She says tiredly, her eyes burning red and puffy.

Hershel pulls his rubber gloves off with a snap and places gauze onto the wound. “You should’ve said something earlier. You’re lucky you haven’t got an infection.” He tells the young girl seriously.

She turns her head gently, “Carl needed help.”

“Stop saying that.” He says seriously.

“Never.”

Glenn helps pull the girl’s shirt down and looks towards Hershel in concern. “Is she okay?”

He nods, “She’ll be fine. The fragment was under the skin. It would’ve come out on its own.” He explains simply as he stands.

“Where’s her dad?” Maggie questions.

A bubbling cry is given in response as Bella curls tightly into Carl. The group goes silent as Glenn grabs Bella and carries her over to a room- the girl is heavy dead weight but she needs rest and she won’t move on her own. Carl follows close behind her and sits by her side even as she turns her back and cries into a pillow.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sophia calls out as she approaches dry land.

Bella stomps forward, “I said take it back!” 

“No! You’re not the boss of me.” She spits at the girl before turning and darting away.

“You’re going in the wrong direction!” Bella screams after her. She takes off after the girl, chasing her through the woods and bushes, quickly on her trail. “You’re going to get lost! You won’t last a minute out here!” She calls out. 

But Sophia doesn't respond, she just continues to run, darting around trees and leaping over rocks. The exhaustion Sophia had felt has bleed away and she moves with unfiltered energy. Bella gets closer, her fingers almost skin the girl’s back but a loud creak sounds through the woods.

Bella stumbles and trips over a root. Her body smacks hard into the ground and her ankle flares to life, pain coursing up her calf, the flesh beneath already swelling. 

Bella’s angry eyes jump up to watch Sophia disappear behind full bushes and trees, her baby blue shirt no longer visible. 

Bella growls in pain as she turns onto her butt, grasping tightly at the hot swelling of her ankle. It’s the sounds of voices that causes her to move, brushing the ground and hiding underneath some large brush. 

She can’t run… so she hides.

Notes:

As always... feel free to leave kudos and comments, I love hearing from all of you!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter!