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English
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Published:
2024-01-14
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842
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1/1
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Heathcliffs adventure in homophobia or something idk i didnt read wuthering heights

Summary:

Heathcliff decides enough is enough. Fortunately nobody listens to him because he's british

Work Text:

One day in the land of lethal company I mean uhhh limbus company, in limbus company Heath cliff was havcing a horrible day. THis is largely becuse he had a life threatening disorder known as "being british". However there was another problem at play..

"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FUCKIN' GAY PEOPLE ON THIS BUS???!?" You see, Heahtcliff was homphobic. He hated the gays so much. He couldnt even look at a rainbow without puking. But everyone was queer on mephistolphes.
Including Sinclair Emil and Damian. They were sloppily making out on the bus floor, "Mmm m demian im in love witj you.... I love you...." Sinclauir said. "I love you too.. ..sinclair...... you are the best thing that ever happened to me....." Demian Max Demian said.
"FUCKING SHUT UP OVER THERE. Get a fuckin room mate." Heahtcliff said, his eyes burning with british rage, "Im sick of you. I m sick of the gays."
Demian turned to look at heathrclff. "Heathcliff, my child... Do not worry yourself with me and Sinclair's relationship. Life is short, you should walk outside and feel the soft breeze on your face. See the flowers grow on the sidwalk, cherish life.... You must slow down to enjoy these sights, Heathcliff."

"Fuck you demian youre not even supposed to be fucking be here you fucking prick" Hrathcliff picked up demian and threw him through thr wall. ANd then demian flew off into outer space and landed on the moon. But demian could breathe in space so it was ok.
"...D...Demiuan..." Emil sincalirs eyes teared up, he got so sad that his blonde hair suddenly turned brown, as the blondeness was powered by his happiness. "....My love....." he collapsed on the floor crying.

"Wow... Now there's only one person on this fucking bus with blonde hair. I was getting sick of there being two of ya." Heath cliff said.
"WHat... ? Thats not true...." Email sinclair said.

"What do you fucking mean its not true. It was just fucking you and Don Quixote. Now its just Don Quixote."
SinclAR shook his head. "Theres also Finn."
"What"
"F-Finn is blonde as well" Emil Sinclair said.
"Who the fuck is Finn"

Suddenly, this really short kid in a hat appeared, "Hey guys whats up. ALgebriac."
Heathcliff couldnt beloeve his eyes. There was just this kid in a hat with blonde hair poking out and a sinner coat that was way too big for him on. He looked so stupid. WHo the fuck was this guy.
"WHAT???" HEathcloff felt super angry, he threw his fists up in the air, "WHO THE FUCK LET THIS CHILD IN HERE??"

Maursault appeared for no reason, "Finn is not a child. He has stated his age is 46."
"....WHAT???" Heahtcliff stared at this stranger really hard, "HE'S FUCKING 13 MATE. Since when was he even allowed in here??"
Email Sincalir seemed confused, "H-He's always been part of the Limbus Company...."

"Yeah man!!" Finn did a fortnite dance or something, "I've been here for years! You guys rock!"
Heathdfclifgf gained new bags under his eyes as he tried to make sense of the situaton. "What the fuck.... What the actual fuck..... I've never fuckin met this kid before. ANd he's cleaely underage. What's wrong with his face? Why are his eyes just dots?"
"Oh no I'm an adult trust me," Finn the human boy said, "I just look young due to blonde hair genes. It slows down aging rapidly."
Heathcliff was about to correct him, but then he looked at Don Quizote and Emil Sinclair and thought maybe he was right.

"Ok well i dont give a shit. Where is the fucking manager." He walked around to find Dante. He found them sleeping on the job with a magazine in their hand. "MANAGER WAKE THE FUCK UP" Hathcliff Shouted.
Dante got so shocked that they immedietely started running away when they woke up. They jumped out of the moving bus and got run over by its wheels. They were fine though. Dont worry. Nothing happened to them, man. It's alright. They didn't die a gruesome and horrible death. That didn't happen. That'd never happen to them. Don't worry about it dude. They're perfectly fine.

Heathcliff deicded enough was enough. He got out his giant bat and knocked Finn adventuretime over the head with it. Finn died instantly. "Finaly./.... No more of that ugly fucking kid."

But then Max Demian reappeared in his werewolf form. "Emil Sicnlair..... I have retutrned......"
"DEMINA!!!!!" EmIl sinclairs hair turned blonde again as he jumpod into sexy Demians arms.
Werewoldf deamin decided to sing a beautofil song, "Sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler... you're so skibidi..... you're so fanum tax...."
Emil sincalri started crtying, "it's so beautidul... i love tyou demian..."
"I just wanna be your sigma... Freakign come hewre... Gibe me your ohio...."

"DEMIAN I LOVE YOU!!!!! YOURE SO GOOD AT SUINGING...." They flew away together and lived happily ever after. Insert something about birds idk

Ok thats the end dont forget to like and subscribe and hit that bell