Archive of Our Own ^beta

Alex pushes her way into Claire’s bed, knocking her limbs out of the way and tucking herself under the blankets like she belongs there. Claire grunts when she gets shoved against the wall in the too-small-for-two-grown-girls twin bed. Alex just turns her back to Claire, silently asking to be spooned and cuddled. 

And no matter how irritating the kid is, Claire can’t refuse. Not when it’s the dead of night and Alex is shaking like a leaf. 

“You need to learn how to knock, twerp,” Claire mumbles as she wraps her arm around Alex’s middle and pulls her close. She smells like Claire’s shampoo, because she keeps forgetting to pick up a fresh bottle of her own. 

Alex doesn’t respond to that. 

“You okay?” 

“I…” Alex falters. 

Claire rubs her arm, trying to soothe her. Whatever it is, she’ll have Claire. 

“I miss my momma.” 

“Oh.”

“I know I shouldn’t. I know she hurt people, but…” 

Claire tucks her face into Alex’s shoulder. She’s so warm. Nothing like what Claire imagines her freak mother might have been. (Nothing like Claire’s father’s body, now that it’s puppeted around by an angel.) “It’s okay.” 

Alex turns over to face Claire, nearly falling out of the tiny bed and jostling Claire in the process. They’re practically nose-to-nose like this, heads squeezed onto the same pillow. Claire fits her leg around Alex’s, keeping her close, and brushes their lips together for a bare second. She can’t help it. 

“How on earth is it okay? She made me help kill people. I’m evil . Jody can— can pretend I’m different, and I’m good, but if I miss her, isn’t that a pretty bad sign?” 

Claire shakes her head. “Nah, you’re such a goody-two-shoes. There’s not an evil bone in your body.” 

Tears fill Alex’s eyes and her lip wobbles and for a moment Claire thinks she’s screwed up. “Lexie, I—” 

She’s cut off by a sharp laugh. Tears run down Alex’s face, but she’s giggling more than crying. She ducks down to hide her face in Claire’s chest, and all Claire can do is hold her. 

“You’re okay. You’re fine,” Claire mumbles into the darkness as she runs a hand through Alex’s hair. “You’ll never be bad.” Not like me. Alex’s only crime was missing her mother. How could anyone fault her for that? But Claire’s whole life, all she’d done was hurt the people around her. 

The only good thing she has is right here in her arms, and she’s never letting go.