Chapter Text
Seonghwa soon realized he was dumb - he was waiting for Hongjoong to break the news. Meanwhile, the omega was fighting with words that came from San's lips - Hongjoong used him to seek his goals; Hongjoong knew from the beginning that Seonghwa was into him, and he manipulated that to his advantage. Why didn't he feel surprised? Everything here started and ended with business, fashion, money, and greed - so much greed and it showed. This was a crazy world in which Seonghwa involved himself. Every time he thought he knew enough, there was just something more. Consequences that he should have seen coming all along. A mess.
"So?" San tilted his head when neither Hongjoong nor Seonghwa spoke first. The omega could feel both alphas staring at him. Like he was supposed to know the answers, fix it. Tell the truth. Seonghwa could barely handle himself.
"I have to go." he shook his head, pressured by two pairs of eyes, and one heartache of his own.
"Seonghwa—"
"Before you proceed with this sentence…" The omega cut San's words as soon as the red-haired alpha opened his mouth. "You tell me… what are you doing to Wooyoung? And maybe only then you can ask something from me. I don't owe answers to either of you. Especially after what I just heard…" It was still drilling into his head. Hongjoong's words about him and everyone else who knew and didn't tell Seonghwa a thing.
The omega put on his shoes, trying to hold the last crumbs of dignity because it didn't seem like San would utter another word. Hongjoong couldn't ruin his life by admitting the truth about them even to his friends. Whatever the truth was. Three of them stood in the crossfire. And Seonghwa was the one unnecessary piece right now.
"Let me pass." It wasn't a request. He didn't want to see San's face. The longer he stayed, the more it felt like he was a part of betraying his best friend. At least one thing Seonghwa had to do right, and that was to choose a side.
San only for a split second looked like he was ready to fight, but then closed his eyes with a deeper exhale and moved to the side, letting Seonghwa pass. Was it the right time to say goodbye now for Hongjoong? Whatever the alpha decided to share with San was up to him. Whether he would lie that Seonghwa was here for matters of work or as a tool to achieve his goals.
Although the omega could feel familiar pain forming in his chest, reached the elevator still in one piece. Anyway, the pain eventually would have chased after him when he and Hongjoong had to separate; when his love was neglected or made fun of. Something always had to happen. Seonghwa even thought of going back to Mingi's, asking them to let him stay for another hour or so. If he broke on the way back home that wouldn't be any good. But the omega stepped inside the elevator to go down. Just another evening drowned in sadness. Was there anything new?
Seonghwa reached the first floor, an empty stare pointed in front. He didn't even bother to call a taxi. And there was no public transport running at this hour. He could have called a taxi or walked back as much as his strength let him - recalling the time when he had no money to pay for any kind of transportation. Yet now that he did, Seonghwa was about to choose to walk instead.
"Seonghwa! Starlight…"
He flinched already one foot outside when Hongjoong's call took him by surprise. Standing between the automatic door, Seonghwa barely turned to meet the alpha, who ran out from the second elevator, at the other side of the hallway. The omega held his breath. But there was no way to stop the sad forest rain coming into his lungs. Something that Hongjoong couldn't fake no matter what.
"What are you… doing here? Where is San?" Seonghwa stuttered, watching breathless Hongjoong approaching him. The omega slowly stepped back inside, hugging himself around the waist, like adding a layer of protection so his heart wouldn't shatter.
"I… I told him. I told San the truth." Hongjoong stopped just a step away from him.
"The truth? What is the truth, Hongjoong?" He desperately needed to hear that now.
"You… you and me. That we are together." He breathed out, and Seonghwa turned his eyes away when what he was afraid of the most happened - the tears burned his cheeks.
"Are we?" he questioned back, heart skipping a beat. "How about… not telling anyone—-"
"I don't give a damn… not now." Hongjoong shook his head. "In life, it never happens how we want anyway. I would rather let San know the truth if it came to this than let you think… that… what he said."
"Did you?... Did you use me?" Seonghwa pushed out. When could he have done that? During that photoshoot where he teased Seonghwa? Or those other few times he was relevantly nice to him? Seriously, until last week Seonghwa wouldn't have even been surprised to hear such things. Didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.
"N-o… no. Starlight… listen." Hongjoong stopped his hands in mid-air. "Can I touch you?" he carefully asked.
Seonghwa blinked a few tears away and finally looked at the alpha in front of him, Hongjoong was genuine. Either because Seonghwa was so in love or because he could feel the alpha with his soul he knew that with those eyes he couldn't lie. At least not anymore. Not after what they have confessed to each other, and not about his feelings. Seonghwa briefly nodded, letting go of his waist and Hongjoong caught his hands.
"You…you just stood there… you were disappointed that I showed up." Seonghwa pressed his lips into a thin line. He didn't want to cry anymore. He didn't need the drama, but it was up to Hongjoong to decide where to draw the line. How should Seonghwa know which people could be trusted and who not? When did the risk start and end?
"Starlight, I… froze trying to find a way out. I don't know yet how to make this work, how not to hurt you. But… I'm here. I went after you, not even a minute after… I'm done running away." Hongjoong, while holding Seonghwa's hand with one, brushed his cheek with the other and Seonghwa leaned into the touch without thinking, closer to the alpha's wrist. "So don't run… don't run either."
"I don't want to run, but if I'm hurt, I have a right to show it. Even if I want to leave for that moment." He paused. "This truly feels like rocket science…" Seonghwa sighed. "We don't know who to trust. And it's San we are talking about. I wouldn't want to lie to him, but I'm more hurt about Wooyoung, honestly. I don't want to be a part of something that will cause him pain. That's why I left." Seonghwa tried to explain himself. He maybe should have been more hurt by Hongjoong calling him a tool to reach his goal and yet the truth was different. Seonghwa always cared about others more than he cared about himself.
"San pissed me off by throwing those accusations at me… something I regret saying, something I have said because I was so stubborn to admit the obvious and… God, Seonghwa. You have the right to be angry, but I hate that you had to learn it this way." He talked, not making Seonghwa look at him, but the omega found himself incapable of turning his eyes away now. "I have never used you… I…"
"I know. I know you didn't." He confessed in a tiny voice. "How could you use me, when all you did was try to push me away? And now because we got closer they think… you do?"
"I suppose? I don't care… I don't care why he thought it was so important to come in the middle of the night to tell me that." Hongjoong kept caressing his cheek, as silence surrounded them - chaos in Seonghwa's chest calming down a little. He was still hurt, but he did understand. At least part of it. They both tried to protect themselves in very distinguished ways.
The alpha's walls have fallen, yet the omega couldn't break all of his.
Seonghwa couldn't get angry at him, since he knew that what he was doing now to Hongjoong might be even worse. A part of Seonghwa hoped they could just stay like this, and he wouldn't need to bring up the fated mates' talk. He wouldn't need to bind Hongjoong, they wouldn't need to be chained by invisible threads. Forced to stay together.
Insecurities. He was so insecure.
"I think Yeosang and Wooyoung might have told him that I was overworking… or at least that's what they thought I was doing." For Seonghwa it was the only explanation. Especially now that Wooyoung was back home, he probably called and complained to San. "But… if San knows, how am I supposed to hide us from my best friend? And then that his own boyfriend is hiding something… please, Hongjoong, tell me. Should I be worried?"
"You can tell Wooyoung about us. But when it comes to San, it's between them, Starlight. San should have told him before they started dating… maybe Wooyoung knows. I can't tell."
Seonghwa's surprise and happiness that he was allowed to share about his and Hongjoong's relationship with his best friend got overwhelmed by whatever San was hiding. He shifted weight on another leg and stomped nervously in place, not noticing how Hongjoong's arm was already wrapped around his waist instead of holding his hand.
"Stay with me tonight…?" the alpha carefully asked, as if Seonghwa hadn't already declined it several times. "I will tell you more… whatever you want to know."
Seonghwa couldn't lie, he was tempted, but then imagined Wooyoung with a pan in his hands, waiting for him in the morning and it caused him inner shivers.
"I really need to go, Hongjoong, and you need to rest before the trip tomorrow… we will stay… will stay in touch, yes?" He leaned to hug Hongjoong and then couldn't let go. At least not as fast.
"Every free moment I will have." the alpha promised, with a little grumpy sigh, near Seonghwa's shoulder. "Have you called a taxi already?"
"I was planning to walk…"
"In the middle of the night??" Hongjoong grabbed the omega's shoulders and looked him in the eyes, like checking if he was serious or not. "Don't even think about it. I will take you–"
"I can take him."
Only then Seonghwa noticed San coming from the other side of the hallway. Unrushed steps clearly said he was standing there already for a while. Seonghwa wanted to argue but didn't say a word. He wanted to kiss Hongjoong's cheek, but the alpha moved his head so their lips would meet. Seonghwa gasped into it and Hongjoong smiled.
"I will text you." he cooed into the kiss, and Seonghwa dreamily nodded, for the last time inhaling full lungs of his scent before letting go. "What?" Hongjoong darted his eyes at clearly very puzzled San. "You wanted to know, that means you will have to be a third wheel from now on." Hongjoong grinned, like some excited child about his victory. Seonghwa didn't want to think that way, but it was possible that Hongjoong on purpose let San be aware so he would drive them together everywhere.
"Let's go." San cleared his throat in defeat. Seonghwa let go of the alpha after the last squeeze of his hand and walked outside.
The bodyguard followed right after and the silence was weird. Seonghwa still couldn't accept that the secret that the alpha admitted having could hurt Wooyoung. The omega already ran so many theories in his head about what it could be. Yet nothing seemed to fit. San in Seonghwa's eyes was a green flag. And he seemed so into Wooyoung from the first moment. Why? Just why would he do something that could hurt him?
They drove in for a couple of minutes only with the music in the background, Seonghwa staring through the window, when San finally decided to end this:
"Seonghwa, I… I told you I have something I couldn't share…"
"Yes, but did it slip out of your mind that it's related to Wooyoung??" he breathed in, answering maybe a little bit too suddenly, snapping his head at the man. San's expression said more than the words. Wasn't Seonghwa doing the same, just to Hongjoong?
"I… didn't mean to hurt him. It's just something I can't say that easily… like… you know. I want to but, everything is so unclear and we just started dating…" Yet San collected words instead of calling Seonghwa out. "I will tell him… I will tell him when I know he trusts me enough. I really need his trust on this. I need him to believe that I would never let him get hurt." He frowned with an honest concern and Seonghwa relaxed a little. "Hongjoong shouldn't have even mentioned it—"
"I don't blame him," Seonghwa defended the alpha as calmly as possible. "You dropped those words from the past… None of you considers that he might not be mean to me."
"Don't you think it would have been so much easier if you just shared it with us? What are we supposed to think when all Wooyoung and Yeosang know is that you haven't visited them because Hongjoong kept giving you more work?" San talked fast, and maybe a little hurt as well. Seonghwa had no real excuse for this. "It's recent… right? During his rut did you alread—"
"No… nothing like that. But that day was a start… It happened when he chased me after the event…" Seonghwa never thought he would be so nervous to talk about it. It all felt just like a dream anyway. "Everything is so new for me… and him."
"Oh." San blinked like recalling something. "He did… walked out into the rain and didn't answer when I tried to call him back. I thought he had enough of that event and needed some time out." San explained as simply as it happened every other day. "But… this… don't get me wrong, I'm not against you two… I'm more thrilled than worried. Hongjoong opening his heart to you… would be about time to tell him about the Fated Mates thing, no?"
Seonghwa hummed and sank deeper into his seat. He was simply running out of reasonable excuses not to.
They talked a little bit more for the rest of the drive, but the conversation was already lighter, about nothing in specific. Both San and Seonghwa needed to think things over. A big part of Seonghwa was so glad that Hongjoong made their talk happen. If he hadn't chased after the omega, this would have hurt for so long. Maybe it was Seongwha's best sign to stop running too?
“Wooyoungie, I’m home.” Seonghwa opened the door and announced loudly enough for the omega to hear. The light in his friend’s room was still on and soon a loud groan followed when Wooyoung tried to get up from the bed.
“Don’t get up, I will come—”
Seonghwa’s jaw dropped when Wooyoung, wrapped in a blanket, came out holding a pan. Just like he had pictured when jokingly before. However, Seonghwa never thought Wooyoung would keep the pan in his room.
“You look so good with pink hair, damn it. It’s the only thing holding me back from smacking you with this.” He greeted, shooting feverish sparkles from his eyes. “No, better. I will smack Kim Hongjoong. Once I’ll get my hands on him…” he squeezed the pan harder and Seonghwa’s heart dropped. “I will throw my entire kitchen equipment at that man. You know what, I bet my Sannie is now with that alpha, giving him a good lecture! Thank me, I asked Sannie to do that. Guess what, I called Mingi-yah to ask what you guys are up to, and surprise, he said you left after Hongjoong appeared. You went back to work, right? Why else would you come back home only now, huh? I've had enough of him mistreating you. You just wait. In a few days when my heat is over, I’ll have a friendly chat with that man. But that will include a lot of punches—” With the speed Wooyoung was yapping his speech out, even Seonghwa couldn’t keep up. And usually, he was good at that. The other omega was dangerously waving the pan, inhaling deeply, like a dragon ready to spit fireballs. “And on top of that. You! You need to learn how to fight back. Seonghwa, I know, it’s an important job. But even this job is not worth kill—”
“Me and Hongjoong are dating,” Seonghwa mumbled, figuring it would be the only way to stop his friend.
“Well, of course, you are! But — wait. What?”
Wooyoung let his arms down so fast that he let go of the pan. Seonghwa blinked when it loudly hit the floor and then raised his eyes to the other omega.
“So yes–”
“What the fuck do you mean by ‘Me and Hongjoong are dating’?!” Wooyoung loudly roared even if he looked like an ill kitten. He stepped forward and dropped his blanket on the floor as well. “No… I mean… Seonghwa?! Dating?? Hongjoong? In what universe is this? Dating? As in— like—”
“As in… we kissed… and we went on a date. Dates.” With heated cheeks, Seonghwa rushed to pick up things from the floor, quickly placing the pan aside, before Wooyoung took his weapon back. When Seonghwa looked up with the blanket in his hands, his friend stared at him like seeing for the first time. Or Seonghwa had turned into an alien.
“Wh-en did this happen?? I was only gone for… like… three days??” Then he grabbed Seonghwa with both hands. “So you were not at work… and there was no photo shoot!” he gasped so high, reminding of a squeak.
“No, there… there was a photo shoot! So remember Wednesday night… when… I disappeared…”
“Oh… for the sake of… that’s even before… my heat…” Wooyoung's face twitched like he was running heavy calculations in his head. Seonghwa used this chance to lead Wooyoung back toward his bedroom. His heat was still there and the last thing Seonghwa wanted was for Wooyoung to collapse on the floor. “If I wasn’t this horny with and leaking slick like a faucet—” it was definitely the start of a threat. Seonghwa couldn’t be more thankful that Wooyoung wasn’t in his full capacity to come up with something.
“I mean….” his friend continued, still gasping occasionally. “I mean… you lied to me! No, worse, you chose Kim Hongjoong over me. Damn that Balmain jacket… it all started at the club when you took it.” Wooyoung whined feverishly, whatever it had to do with Hongjoong's jacket. Meanwhile, Seonghwa helped him to lie down. Wooyoung was nearly hissing at him with a sad pout.
“I didn’t…. chose him over you. And I knew you were okay with Yeosangie.” Seonghwa tried to reason himself, but in a way, he felt guilty. He had folded way too fast every time Hongjoong asked something. “You know… I would have told you, but everything was very… weird and unexpected for me too.”
“But I’m your best friend! That’s above everything! Especially hoes. First and the only rule of omega squad.” Wooyoung declared that as if it would be a perfect reason for everything. “Seonghwa, I wouldn’t care if you went on a date with Gordon Ramsay himself, but if you start dating Kim Hongjoong, I need to know!! And why??”
“Gordon Ramsay? Where did he come from?” Seonghwa chuckled, lightly brushing Wooyoung’s hair off his sweaty forehead.
“Because I’m so hungry…” Wooyoung rolled his eyes. “But don’t mention food because I will get sick— wait, don’t change the topic!! Shit… Kim Hongjoong. Let it sink. No… fuck… Seonghwa, are you sure it’s okay? After… everything?”
“He is nice to me, Wooyoungie… he apologized for acting bad with me…” Seonghwa sighed, leaning forward until he laid his head on Wooyoung’s chest, his strong honeycomb scent tickling all the right places that needed comfort.
“Bad? Say it Seonghwa. He is a complete ass-fucking-hole.” Wooyoung pronounced every letter until Seonghwa couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “You have to tell me everything. Every detail, until the last one, because I still can’t fit into my head. Smack me with facts why he deserves to have you all of the sudden.” He talked a little dazed, one hand already in Seonghwa’s hair, playing with his pink strands. “I know you were head over heels for him. But Hongjoong hurt you…! Are you sure he is not using you—”
“He is not.” Seonghwa couldn’t sound more confident. “He is not… using me. I promise, Woo, he is not. Not in that way. He is so hot though…”
“Hey, who is in heat here?” Wooyoung called him out with a playful slap. “We need to call Yeosang, he has to—”
“No… Wooyoungie, not yet." He begged. "I’m glad I can tell you, but that’s only because Hongjoong told San. I’m unsure... everything is hazy... Hongjoong is afraid the media will harm me. I think they could hurt him as well… maybe even more.”
"Okay… alright." Wooyoung cooed, Seonghwa could bet he was frowning. "Gosh, I missed you. And I can feel your suppressants wearing off…" he purred in contentment. "But Kim Hongjoong… this is not over. He will have to know, I have more rights over you." He giggled silly, Seonghwa looked up to find his friend lost in a heat wave. "I miss San… Did you see Sannie?" He wondered, eyes wide and hopeful. "Did he say something about me…?"
"Sannie…" Seonghwa repeated. He couldn't break Wooyoung's heart like this. Not right now. "I only saw him for a little bit." he got up to pat Wooyoung's head, and the friend painfully sighed. "Painkillers?" then suggested, and received only a weak moan as an answer.
"I'm glad you came back when I had my head clear… Now I just want San. I will call him, okay? Do you mind? I'm sorry… I said no hoes, but— I guess it happens when… he is good in bed. He made me feel so good, Seonghwa, I can't stop thinking—"
"I-... woah…okay, Woo, understandable…" Seonghwa quickly nodded, there was no need for him to hear more or when it happened. Although he could already tell why Wooyoung appeared at Yeosang's place late. "Goodnight— or whatever you will do."
Wooyoung never held back from sharing his one-night stands. Yet San was their mutual friend, and Seonghwa despite everything was too shy to think about them doing anything beyond kissing.
He left Wooyoung already with the phone in his hands and walked to his room. Oddly cold, although they were in the middle of the summer. After showering, Seonghwa changed into pajamas and crawled into his bed, pressing Hongjoong's jacket against his chest, instead of his plushies, then finally took his phone to check notifications.
Captain Devil, Monday 12:34 am
It's not the same after you left :(
Captain Devil, Monday 12:50 am
Are you already back?
Captain Devil, Monday 12:56 am
Okay, I called San and he said he drove you back safely.
Captain Devil, Monday 01:10 am
I'm guessing Wooyoung got you.
Will I have to share with him? What did he say?
How bad is he gonna hit me?
Captain Devil, Monday 01:15 am
So I tried to distract myself.
Can't stop thinking about you, Starlight.
Me, Monday 01:30 am
Hongjoong, I'm sorry! Yes, Woo met me next to the door with a pan ahahah
He didn't hit me tho. Yet. I'm not sure he understood everything. I guess we will see in a couple of days.
I took a shower, and I'm in bed too.
Me, Monday 01:32 am
Missing your voice now, I don't know how I will fall asleep… call? I will use my earphones.
Me, Monday 01:50 am
You probably fell asleep, I will try too, I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. Goodnight <3
Captain Devil, Monday 05:04 am
Starlight, you got inspired.
I was sketching until now.
I will have to get ready soon.
Captain Devil, Monday 05:05 am
Thank you.
Seonghwa opened his eyes, face drowned in Hongjoong's jacket. So warm and nice, but it wasn't the same as having Hongjoong through the night - the scent got weaker. And maybe that was the reason why Seonghwa woke up before his alarm. He only checked the messages from Hongjoong half smiling and half in worry that he had no sleep before the business trip, but couldn't let himself daydream for too long.
He was about to see Doctor Byun and anxiety climbed up, imagining what the doctor would say after what Seonghwa did. He knew that man meant only good, but he would still scold him, probably again suggesting that he be admitted to the hospital.
"Morning…" Wooyoung yawned, stepping into the kitchen in his blanket burrito, although sweat drops were covering his forehead. Seonghwa was struggling to finish his poor breakfast – for that, he blamed knots inside his stomach.
"Good morning, how are you feeling?"
"Much better after the talk with Sannie… we were on it until dawn, he then needed to get ready to drive so… I felt a bit bad, but he said he will rest in the hotel while Mingi and Hongjoong attend meetings." Wooyoung yawned again, opening the fridge for cold water. Seonghwa thought in the morning he might tell Wooyoung that San was hiding something from him, but he couldn't bring himself to do it again. Something like this could cause Wooyoung's inner omega to panic.
If San kept a promise about Fated mates,… shouldn't Seonghwa do the same? At least until he figured out what the alpha was hiding for real. He tried to think positively. He wanted to believe that there wasn't anything too bad going on.
"You and San were on what…?" Seonghwa asked the first thing that came to his mind instead.
"Phone sex, of course… god it's not the same, but that man has a tongue… and his ways with words."
Wooyoung giggled to himself while gulping water, while Seonghwa hid his face in his palms. Phone sex? How would that… even go? Would Hongjoong do something like this? No. Probably not. Of course, not.
"I'm going to crash again… oh… talking about– oh boy, talking about Hongjoong. I had a crazy dream where you came home and told me you were dating—"
Seonghwa only needed to lift his eyebrow and Wooyoung's jaw instantly got loose. A few drops of water escaped his opened mouth. Seonghwa rushed to get up. He had a perfect excuse to leave. He didn't need to go through Wooyoung's judgment and questions again for now.
"See you in the evening, Woo!" he quickly waved.
"Why would you go so early to work?! He is away with San! Come here, we need to talk— Stop running, I will catch you!" Wooyoung stopped after Seonghwa with little huffs, while swinging in his blanket.
"I'm not running." Seonghwa innocently smiled. "I have an appointment with Doctor Byun."
"Because of your heat?" Wooyoug slightly frowned.
"You weren't here, I got scared… and I took suppressants." Seonghwa pushed a fake smile. He would need to tell this to him sooner or later.
"Park Seonghwa, are you out of your mind—" Wooyoung inhaled but didn't raise his voice. "And what… did your… boyfriend say about this?" Wooyoung coldly asked instead.
"He doesn't know." Seonghwa halted, hand on the door handle. "I couldn't tell him."
"Maybe you should have. Keeping secrets from the very beginning? What is this relationship anyway—" Wooyoung bit on purpose. He was angry. And Seonghwa understood. This topic was sensitive among all of his friends. Moreover, he had no idea what kind of secret Seonghwa himself had already hidden from Hongjoong.
"I will text you before coming back home. Think if you need something from the store," Seonghwa answered, then waved and lifted. From Wooyoung's face, he could tell that the other omega didn't regret his words at all. And he probably had more of them that were still gathering inside like a time bomb.
Seonghwa was on his one-hundredth email more or less - he hadn't stopped since he entered the office. Although answering company emails didn't take that long, since most of them required redirection to someone else or short answers, it was still a way to keep himself as busy as possible.
There was no Yeosang in front of him, no Hongjoong in his office to distract him. And if Seonghwa would let himself drown in the doctor's words, he would want to go home. Some of the things the doctor said were aching his mind so heavily, that the omega had to delete everything and type again. He could never afford to skip another heat. If he wanted to live.
He knew all Doctor Byun's words were nothing but pure truth. He knew it was about time to do something for himself rather than keep empty promises. Especially now that he had someone by his side. The doctor didn't seem very surprised when Seonghwa confessed about him in Hongjoong dating, if anything he was relieved. But the fact that he had a partner now wouldn't solve his problems immediately if he didn't show his wish for them to be solved.
For Seonghwa it felt like he was thrown into a cold lake and told to swim, but no matter what he did, it was just a waste of energy. And it was so hard to explain it to someone who hadn't lived through the same. All of them saw Seonghwa as someone who was standing in one place. They had no clue just how much he had already moved forward from the spot where he started.
The omega held his fingers on the keyboard but wasn't typing anything. It was time past his lunch break, but Seonghwa hadn't thought of going anywhere. He only dreamed of doing as much as he could and clocking out.
"Kim Hongjoong's office, Park Seonghwa speaking." he used an automatic answer when his phone started vibrating. The usual thing for business hours.
"Is Park Seonghwa not reading his messages at all? Your boss is very desperate." Hongjoong's voice whispered into his ear and Seonghwa lightly flinched, almost instantly covering his mouth. Not to hide a smile, but to stop his lip from wobbling. So there was a reason why he didn't call Hongjoong or have yet to text him. If he wanted to cry while talking to the man, he preferred to do it at home. "Starlight?" the alpha asked again when Seonghwa didn't answer.
"Can… can I call you in five minutes?" The omega pleaded.
"What happened?" His voice switched like someone pressed a button. "The doctor? Did he say something? Or something at work—"
"Hongjoong… I will call… you back."
"Fine. Five minutes. I'm waiting." The man sighed but waited for Seonghwa to hang up first.
After hours of not moving, Seonghwa finally got up from his seat and went towards the elevators, with his phone against his chest. Seonghwa pressed the last button in the list while standing in the corner of the small space, pretending he was busy on the phone. He kept bouncing his leg, while other people entered and left the elevator. Yet Seonghwa reached the terrace floor alone.
Instead of going out to the rooftop, Seonghwa went to the end of the hallway where he found the door. Maybe he should have called Yeosang about it, but he felt - his friend wouldn't mind. Yeosang's safe space was just as Seonghwa recalled it - the only thing that changed was pictures decorating the walls now had a much deeper meaning to him. Some of them included him and Wooyoung as well. Seonghwa's eyes quickly found the ones with Hongjoong. Past versions of him - the one that shone with a natural smile, and something he had lost along the way. But not with Seonghwa. He could swear Hongjoong had smiled at him the same. With lively sparkles in his eyes.
His phone started ringing as soon as Seonghwa carefully sat on the couch between pillows.
"It's been six minutes," Hongjoong instantly complained, when Seonghwa picked up. "Are you safe?"
"Yes…" The omega took a cloud-shaped pillow to have something to hold onto while looking at Hongjoong's photos in front of him.
"Seonghwa, this is not… an answer. I'm ready to cancel anybody in that building who made you upset if that's the case. But you haven't called me after the doctor, you haven't answered any of my texts either. Talk to me, Starlight… I couldn't focus on anything…" Hongjoong spoke in one breath and Seonghwa listened to his voice, pressing his face against the pillow. He was an emotional wreck, with a horrible hormonal imbalance. Like the doctor said, worse than an omega during the heat. Easy to explain why any harsher word could make him cry like tomorrow might not come. "Do I have to beg… Seonghwa…"
"I… wanted to call you when I'm home… in my blanket, holding your jacket…" he murmured.
"Oh… Starlight. Are you in pre-heat, is that what it is?" the alpha carefully guessed.
"No… Hongjoong… no… I won't go into heat. Not this month…" It was so hard to admit that, but it was the least he could do. Seonghwa could hardly breathe through the limp of tears and fear in his throat. "That night… I took suppressants, and… it stopped my heat. The doctor said he couldn't find any pre-heat symptoms anymore. And now he is not sure when my next heat will come." Seonghwa forced himself to recall the conversation. "I'm not well. He said my body is weak. My inner omega is in complete imbalance because I kept neglecting my needs, damaging my body with the wrong suppressants for years… not eating well enough. And I don't know what to do. Because I try… I promise Hongjoong I really do try now. What if it's too late?" He stuttered to inhale. "Please, don't… don't be angry. I got scared and I panicked, when I realized what I had done it was too late. Please don't be angry… please…"
"Starlight, I'm… not. I'm not angry… shhh… I'm not." he interrupted and then waited until Seonghwa managed to take a few deeper breaths, repeating those few so-needed words. "I'm worried. I had no… I had no clue that something was so wrong. Why didn't you tell me…?
"You would have stayed?"
Seonghwa didn't need him to reply, they both knew the answer. He had to go, his life out there, in this industry was more important than their few-day-long relationship. Before the alpha could answer, Seonghwa cleared his throat and continued.
"I thought I could deal with it myself, but I'm not sure anymore. I do… I will try… I should try harder, yes? I'm not doing good enough?"
"Starlight…" Hongjoong let out a long sigh - a sound full of regret. Regret for getting involved in this? "I need you to calm down… breathe, I'm here," he cooed after a moment, as Seonghwa kept looking at Hongjoong's photographs but without his scent it became difficult. Although, Hongjoong couldn't know that. "It's not easy to recover after being mistreated, it's not your fault. But it's not too late. I'm sure Doctor Byun did everything he could, right? Did he give you good advice about what to do now? Should we search for another doctor?"
"N-no… no. No need. I'm just a little scared…" Seonghwa shook his head. "I… know what I need to do. I need… not to be afraid. I have been afraid for so long, but… I shouldn't anymore. I keep thinking, you wouldn't hurt me. I trust you… I do. I promise I do, Hongjoong." he needed to be straightforward. But talking about intimacy when he had no experience wasn't his strongest forte.
"I won't hurt you… again. I will… I would rather hurt myself." Hongjoong sounded a little muffled as if he spoke while covering his lips. And it washed Seonghwa over so painfully. "I will help you through it, alright? We will find a way."
"Ah… I believe you." He did. Those words were not in vain. Maybe he shouldn't have trusted so easily, but everything with Hogjoong was different, and Seonghwa had no one to compare with.
"It might be a little difficult… until I get better… but thank you." Maybe Hongjoong didn't need Seonghwa's thanks but the omega meant it.
"Are you safe now? Tell me you left work."
"No… I sort of hid in Yeosang's safe room, the one… on the top floor. I hope he won't mind."
"I haven't been there for a long time." Hongjoong hummed, his voice now less tense, after Seonghwa had relaxed. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Go home after that, I will let Jongho know. You shouldn't be at work in the first place today. That's my fault."
"Don't take… blame on yourself. I need to do something, it makes me feel better if I keep myself busy. If I'm useful. Especially since you are not here. I knew the weekend was going to end and we would go back to our lives like nothing… but… I'm still not fully back." Seonghwa admitted what caused him the most stress. "What will we do when you'll be back in a few days…?"
"About… that. I'm flying to Paris with Yunho and Mingi. I got an appointment and they decided to try. We have consulted the doctor already, and… he agreed to do everything to help them mate. Mingi asked me to be there for them if anything…"
"No, of course, I understand. Without a doubt, you need to be there." Seonghwa quickly pushed his needs away, Mingi and Yunho deserved to feel secure too, and knowing that Hongjoong was the one they trusted for this gave the omega comfort.
"Maybe San–"
"Hongjoong, they asked for you." Seonghwa interrupted. He didn't notice when he became this calm that he could even argue. And that was only because of the alpha's voice. "That's important. And nothing will happen to me."
"I call you and you're crying into my ear, telling me you're not well and now you tell me nothing will happen to you? Seonghwa, I'm fighting myself so hard from going back. And now that you're alone in the office…"
If Seonghwa could, he would have recorded Hongjoong's words and just played them on repeat if he ever came to think that the alpha was faking his care. This couldn't be pretend, no way.
"Please go home after this. Wooyoung is there, right? Don't stay alone and let yourself drown in work." he asked when Seonghwa didn't reply right away.
"You tell me that after working all night… have you slept?" Seonghwa thought it was a bit comical because they acted equally dumb.
"I was inspired - that's different. You need a break, Starlight. Anyway, I was about to take a nap, after our talk… I'm just after the shower, lying on the bed, but I need to get up to put something on." Hongjoong exhaled. "I have another meeting in a few hours so—"
"Wait. You are not… wearing anything?" Seonghwa dropped the pillow he was squeezing and tightly clenched his fists. The question just slipped out.
"Is it bothering you, Starlight?" he giggled into Seonghwa's ear, and everything from there down his neck suddenly heated up.
"N-no… I guess… I'm just disappointed, I'm… not there…?" Seonghwa huffed a little, but he wouldn't take those words back.
If anything, his mind was coming back to the moment on Hongjoong's couch where Seonghwa was on top feeling the way Hongjoong's body reacted to him. It was good. So good. Of that, he wouldn't be scared. He wanted to repeat that too. Seonghwa couldn't help but notice just how needy his body had become since he and Hongjoong got closer. Seonghwa fought it back before. But not anymore.
"Hongjoong…?" Seonghwa called when instead of an answer the alpha on the other end, let out something close to a groan.
"You make it harder… if I come back… I can have you in my arms. We can continue where we stopped yesterday… it's really not that far." he sounded like contemplating his life choices now.
"We can… maybe… try…." Seonghwa couldn't believe he was about to say that. "Phone… you know phone…"
"Phone…?" Hongjoong repeated several times like he was glitching as well. "Call…? More phone calls, Starlight?"
"Yes… but… umm…"
"Phone sex…?" the alpha voiced like he had this on his mind too.
The first time Seonghwa thought about that was this morning because of Wooyoung, but he would lie to himself trying to pretend he had stopped.
"Or... or just messages?" Hongjoong rushed to add when Seonghwa held his breath. It was happening. For real.
"I like… hearing your voice more…" Seonghwa shyly confessed.
"Yes, Starlight… And I would do anything for your scent now next to me."
Seonghwa couldn't agree more. He would have done anything to scent his forest - the greatest power to take his worries away.
Over an hour passed since Seonghwa ran out of things to do. He was going through the same stuff, double-checking documents, re-wording each sentence until it sounded perfect - which was completely unnecessary. Eventually, he had to give up. Seonghwa turned off the computer and glanced at Hongjoong’s office through the glass door. They were the only ones left on the floor, and the CEO was still on the call. He looked rather concentrated, eyes pointed at his screen, lips moving evenly whether he was having a discussion or giving orders. Seonghwa wanted to say goodbye before leaving but didn’t dare to interrupt the meeting only for that. They would see each other tomorrow, and he could send a message. But it still made him a little sad that he wouldn’t get to hear ‘Starlight’ with a fond smile playing on the alpha’s lips.
Seonghwa sighed and got up from his desk, leaving it as neat as possible for tomorrow, then grabbed his bag. He lightly flinched at a small but sharp sound. The omega turned around and saw that Hongjoong was about to throw one more pen at the glass doors. Seonghwa raised his eyebrow with a tiny wave, but the alpha waved to come in, while still on the call - impressive multitasking skills.
The omega hesitated before leaving his bag on the desk and opening the shut door.
“.... I have nothing to lose, they won’t scare me. They can’t steal things if I give nothing.” Hongjoong said. “Anyway, I have too much stuff on my mind, but Yoesang will remember.” He then paused. “Listen, can we continue this tomorrow?”
He gestured at the chair in front of his table. The omega stomped in place before picking up the pen that Hongjoong threw first and then sitting down. He couldn’t explain why his heart suddenly started dancing in his chest, while fingers unintentionally yet anxiously played with the pen between fingers.
After a few formal goodbyes, Hongjoong hung up, letting his phone slide across the table, then heavily exhaled, clicked a few more things on his laptop, and pushed the device away as well. Leaving the space between them empty.
“Tired?” Seonghwa meaninglessly asked, just wanting him to admit it.
The alpha didn’t answer. He softly smiled, eyes on the table, but his fingers asked Seonghwa to lean more towards him. And the omega did with little thinking, although his breath had stopped.
Hongjoong’s hand went straight for the back of Seonghwa’s neck, as he pulled him in and crashed their mouths together in the midway. Like a dose of the purest and sweetest poison which he was starving for hours, it went into Seonghwa’s head and then instantly spread down. He felt lightheaded, addicted to the taste of Hongjoong’s tongue on him. The greedy invasion instantly swallowed the gasp that Seonghwa let out.
“Wanted to leave just like that?” Hongjoong giggled into Seonghwa’s mouth, pulling him closer while leaning back, and the omega, at this point, was half-lying on the table.
“C-cameras…?” he could only whimper.
“No cameras here,” Hongjoong promised, dragging the tip of his tongue across Seonghwa’s bottom lip. “Come… come to me, Starlight.” The alpha pulled the omega in more until he had no choice but to get up, lean with his knee against the edge of the table, and lift himself on it.
He was feeling high, his mind shutting down, and he didn’t need more confirmation, nor did he hear what Hongjoong said. Seonghwa felt like he was about to lose his mind, and climbing on Hongjoong’s office table was just proof of that. But the bittersweet ecstasy that got so deep into him ripped out all the rational things.
On all his fours right in front of Hongjoong's face, Seonghwa could feel his body shiver from excitement, the moment he would get to straddle the man's thighs, the moment Hongjoong would sink his kiss into Seonghwa's skin and it would burn in the most pleasant ways.
"Come closer." the alpha leaned in, his hand reaching under the omega, placing it against Seonghwa's bulge. "Oh… my Starlight, are you… wet?"
Seonghwa woke up covered in sweat, but not like he was soon approaching the heat. A different kind of sweating - the way he was nervous and tingly, not knowing what was happening and where this came from. The way his heart had lost control over this dream, and his thighs kept shaking. Even after he woke up, his body didn't want to leave the dream.
It was the first time Seonghwa dreamed something like this. And although shame burned his cheeks, he couldn't hide another feeling that came with it - excitement. His past voice telling him he was supposed to feel guilty, he was supposed to listen to his promise for his mother became so quiet and was soon pushed away by desire. Since that day in Hongjoong's apartment, something did happen to his inner omega - not like his insecurities had disappeared or anything, but it was just that he had experienced something so thrilling for the first time - control.
Seonghwa carefully reached for his phone with the last messages between him and Hongjoong wishing goodnight still open. The time confirmed it was still very early in the morning of Wednesday, and there was no way Hongjoong would answer or reply to him now. And even if he did, Seonghwa was too shy to admit what kind of dream he just experienced for the first time in his life. Or that he was rock-hard because of it. And not like the alpha knew that Seonghwa's worst insecurity was related to his broken inner omega.
Seonghwa pushed his phone aside and started blindly searching for the alpha's jacket he had lost somewhere between the blankets. He froze when instead of the jacket, Seonghwa's fingers met with his sheets. Wet sheets. He had never turned on the light so fast, pushing away everything off himself in panic just to realize that Hongjoong in his dream was right - he was wet. And not because of sweating. Seonghwa stared at his soaked-through underwear and he slept more in surprise and panic. Seonghwa couldn't remember the last time he had produced slick. Not in this amount at least. Of course, when masturbating on his own, it did happen but… not like this.
Seonghwa dropped back on the pillows, breathing fast and irregularly, not completely sure what was happening to his body anymore, but very confident about what his heart desired. Not only Hongjoong had broken his walls down.
Me, Thursday 8:10 pm
Have you landed in Paris already?
I hope everything is okay.
Me, Thursday 8:15 pm
Me and Wooyoung are watching a movie. My day was okay.
Not too busy, but productive.
I had one photo shoot, then went for lunch with Maddox and Jongho.
Me, Thursday 8:20 pm
Tomorrow we have a meeting with partners.
But since Yeosang will be back, he will probably go instead of me.
I might have a free afternoon (?)
Seonghwa sighed after sending the last message, obviously, he tried to make it sound like a hint, yet wasn't sure he had succeeded. And if he did, would Hongjoong's and his schedules finally match? Thinking that the alpha would have more free time because he was not in the office or his studio was a mistake. If anything, their days were running at such different paces, that all Seonghwa could expect was getting Hongjoong's messages from time to time. But they hadn't found time to continue or engage more about their previous talk on Monday. Seonghwa never brought it out, but he would lie if he said that it wasn't lingering at the back of his mind. Neither did the omega admit to Hongjoong about having the wet dream. Like some sort of pervert for real. Maybe he had finally started to understand Wooyoung better - things that just not long ago he wouldn't have considered.
All Hongjoong needed to do recently was to ask Seonghwa about his day, and it was sort of… hot. The alpha never missed the chance to make sure Seonghwa had a meal or took his supplements and vitamins. The omega didn't feel like he was controlled or anything, but it was easier for both of them if the alpha kept checking on Seonghwa in this way. It motivated the omega as well. Funny, but Seonghwa once tried to keep in check Hongjoong's habits too. Yet controlling Kim Hongjoong was the same as trying to catch the wind - that man was too good with his words.
He didn't sleep? Well, inspiration of course! He didn't eat yet? Meeting. Interview. Whatever. He always had a reasonable excuse.
Now they hadn't talked for more than fourteen hours, and something that helped Seonghwa to stay sane without Hongjoong's scent started to crumble. He knew the alpha was on the flight and there was nothing he could change about it. Who could have guessed that Seonghwa would get used so quickly to their connection? From the side, the omega started to remind himself of an addict who did nothing but stare at his phone. Not like Wooyoung allowed that when he needed attention, but already for a while he was too busy texting with San, who was on the same flight as Hongjoong. Meaning both of them had reached Paris safely, and yet Seonghwa hadn't heard anything from the alpha.
He told himself not to think about it too much but also didn't dare to ask Wooyoung if San had mentioned anything. Mostly because even after three days Seonghwa couldn't understand how his friend took the news about him dating Hongjoong. It seemed like Wooyoung went through all stages from denial to anger, but nothing too positive. And it was hard to tell which he was today. The only thing he said for real was that he would need to see Hongjoong to believe in any words Seonghwa said. As if the omega had made this up. Funny enough, Hongjoong, when it came to talks about Wooyoung was no better, and Seonghwa was afraid that it soon could become a new reason for his headaches.
Only after a while Seonghwa was pulled out from the chain of his thoughts and a scene in the movie they were supposed to be watching before sleep. He couldn't focus on it anyway because of Wooyoung's incoming giggles next to him on the couch.
Captain Devil, Thursday 8:52 pm
Starlight <3
Yes, we are already in Paris.
Captain Devil, Thursday 8:54 pm
Happy to hear you had a productive day
How about dinner? What did you eat?
Captain Devil, Thursday 8:55 pm
If only you feel well enough, I think you should go with Yeosang to the meeting.
It might be interesting for you.
And you won't be alone in the office.
So Seonghwa waited for more incoming texts while holding eye contact with characters on the TV screen to keep him under control. He didn't want to sound like he was obsessed or anything, but he sure hoped Hongjoong would give him an excuse for texting only now. Not to mention that Hongjoong on purpose or not had completely misunderstood the hint about his free afternoon.
Seonghwa wasn't as patient as he thought he was though.
Me, Thursday 9:01 pm
I won't be alone. Wooyoung will be at home.
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:02 pm
Of course, he will be.
But the meeting is related to international promotions
Might be interesting, no?
No. It wouldn't be interesting. No, that wasn't what Seonghwa wanted to talk about after fourteen hours of not texting each other. Hongjoong shouldn't have been talking about work right now. Seonghwa didn't want to think about promotions, photo shoots, or meetings. He didn't want to think about how his best friend and his CEO Designer Dominant Alpha Fated Mate boyfriend never missed a chance to show that they didn't approve each other's presence. Seongwha couldn't even explain why he was suddenly so frustrated.
He dropped his phone on the couch and got up to get himself a drink in the kitchen. Wooyoung didn't react at first, only when Seonghwa slammed the cupboard a little too loud his giggles ended.
"Hwa? You good?" He shouted from the couch.
"Yes, yes…" he quickly confirmed, trying his best to sound natural. "Do you want anything?"
"Nooop. I have everything I need right now." His answer was chased by a chuckle. When Seonghwa showed up with a glass, he was still looking at him with a smile. "Me and Sannie are having a great time," Wooyoung dreamily blinked.
"Is he taking you on a virtual tour around Paris?" Seonghwa teased with an innocent smile.
"Very funny. A tour on his bed, I would say. It's very interactive too, he has only underwear on himself now." Wooyoung wiggled, looking back at the screen for a second, before pointing his eyes at Seonghwa's phone. "Your phone keeps vibrating."
"Don't mind it." Seonghwa shrugged, climbing back on the couch, legs under himself.
He successfully avoided the phone for a while, even when Wooyoung pointed out that he for some reason looked tense. And Seonghwa knew that he was running out of patience.
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:05 pm
You haven't answered about dinner.
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:10 pm
Starlight, if you want to have that free afternoon you just need to tell me
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:13 pm
It's the middle of the day here, but Yunho is not feeling well so we will stay in
They are seeing the doctor tomorrow
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:15 pm
I'm thinking of you a lot
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:18 pm
I swear to my sketchbook if Wooyoung took away your phone…
I won't be nice to him
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:21 pm
</3
Me, Thursday 9:22 pm
No one took my phone away, I am watching a movie
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:23 pm
Alright.
Seonghwa sharply inhaled, staring at his phone. So he would just end the talk like that? Such Hongjoong thing to do. Seonghwa was sitting here and pouting, while the alpha didn't have a clue why. So it wasn't one hundred percent Hongjoong's fault. On the other hand, the alpha still didn't say anything about why he only found time to answer now. Was Seonghwa behaving possessively while waiting for his text so badly? Was he the only one? Seonghwa had no way to describe how badly his inner omega was craving for this. He was touch-starved, but all he could get now were these dumb messages.
Me, Thursday 9:25 pm
I am thinking a lot about you too…
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:27 pm
Really? From your text, I thought you didn't want to talk to me.
Is something wrong?
Me, Thursday 9:28 pm
I was waiting for so long for you to text me.
Especially seeing Wooyoung chatting with San
I'm sorry
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:29 pm
Starlight…
No, don't apologize, I should have told you
One of my acquaintances, after hearing that I'm coming to Paris, wanted to meet
So he came to the hotel, just when we arrived.
We had a quick lunch together. I texted you as soon as I came to my room.
Me, Thursday 9:32 pm
Oh… oh, Hongjoong I feel so silly now.
You went to talk about work right away, and I was just waiting so long…
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:33 pm
I know, Starlight. I was waiting too.
Very long 14 hours if you ask me…
Not like my alpha stopped howling since I left Seoul.
Me, Thursday 9:35 pm
He does that?
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:36 pm
Yes, without your presence and scent
Me, Thursday 9:37 pm
Since when…?
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:37 pm
Since always?
Since the first day, Starlight.
Me, Thursday 9:38 pm
Are you…
For real?
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:38 pm
You have no idea…
Me, Thursday 9:40 pm
You say so? Who fell first here from the two of us?
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:39 pm
We should have a proper conversation about that
As soon as I come back
You can tell me all about it
Me, Thursday 9:41 pm
Can we do that in your summer house?
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:43 pm
That's a great idea
Do you like it?
Me, Thursday 9:44 pm
Yes…
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:44 pm
If you only had a car or someone who could drive you there
I could give you the passcode
Me, Thursday 9:45 pm
??? Would you trust me with this??
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:46 pm
Starlight…
Ask, and I will make it happen.
Having you stay at my home, knowing you will leave your scent there
Only these thoughts do things to me
Me, Thursday 9:48 pm
What things?
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:49 pm
Oh? Are you sure you want to know?
Me, Thursday 9:49 pm
Sounds like you're trying to tease me now…
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:50 pm
Tease you? Have I ever done that?
Me, Thursday 9:51 pm
????
I want to go to your summerhouse with you though
It wouldn't be the same to go alone
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:52 pm
If everything goes as planned, we are coming back on Sunday
We can go then
Me, Thursday 9:52 pm
Saturday is Mingi's birthday, isn't it?
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:53 pm
Yes, Saturday. Not Sunday.
Me, Thursday 9:53 pm
But what if he wants to celebrate with us?
I guess it all depends on how things go tomorrow.
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:55 pm
On Sunday you are only mine
That won't change, even if they want to celebrate
Me, Thursday 9:55 pm
Wouldn't that be suspicious??
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:56 pm
We will think of something.
Going back to the more important topic now
So at the summerhouse, is there something you want to do?
Me, Thursday 9:57 pm
I was thinking
No one would interrupt us
Then we could continue
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:57 pm
Continue what?
Me, Thursday 9:58 pm
You know…
What we in your apartment
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:58 pm
Shoes?
Me, Thursday 9:59 pm
HONGJOONG
Are you doing this on purpose??
Captain Devil, Thursday 9:59 pm
Blaming me.
I'm innocent, Starlight
And you're the one again thinking of naughty stuff
Me, Thursday 10:00 pm
Still thinking*
Wooyoung just asked why I'm smiling so hard looking at my phone
Captain Devil, Thursday 10:00 pm
And what did you answer?
Me, Thursday 10:01 pm
Nothing really, he is too busy… doing things with San… through messages.
Captain Devil, Thursday 10:01 pm
Does Wooyoung tell you everything he does with San?
Me, Thursday 10:02 pm
I wish he wouldn't.
Some things are embarrassing
Captain Devil, Thursday 10:02 pm
What things?
Me, Thursday 10:02 pm
Omg, Hongjoong.
Things.
Captain Devil, Thursday 10:02 pm
Things we did as well?
Me, Thursday 10:03 pm
No…
Not yet
Captain Devil, 10:03 pm
Things you wish we could do?
Me, Thursday 10:04 pm
Mybe
Maybe*
Captain Devil, 10:04 pm
More than a kiss?
Me, Thursday 10:04 pm
…
Yes
Captain Devil, Thursday 10:05 pm
What else?
Me, Thursday 10:05 pm
You
Touching
Captain Devil, Thursday 10:05 pm
You would want to hear me touching myself
Thinking of you?
Me, Thursday 10:06 pm
Now?
Hongjoong…
Captain Devil, Thursday 10:06 pm
Now
Unless your movie is more interesting…
Me, Thursday 10:07 pm
Oh God. Um yeah.
I mean, yeah. I want to hear.
Captain Devil, Thursday 10:07 pm
So can I call you?
"Wooyoungie, I'm going to sleep. I have a meeting early tomorrow." He said, looking up at the friend, having no clue how he was probably having a much more explicit conversation right now and yet was sitting there still. How??
Seonghwa felt feverish, he didn't need a mirror to know his face was burning in flames, good that Wooyoung was too busy with what he had going on to look at him. He only nodded several times, sending him a little kiss through the air, and Seonghwa rushed to disappear.
The omega closed his bedroom door, his heart echoing through his entire body, palms shivering and sweating so much he almost dropped the phone when it vibrated again.
Captain Devil, Thursday 10:10 pm
Well?
Or I will start without you
Instead of answering, Seonghwa crawled into his bed under the blanket, like it could help him hide something from someone, and pressed the call icon. Squeezing the sheets between his fingers, the omega pulled on them until his nose, a shudder running down his spine when he heard a small clicking sound on the other side.
"Starlight…" Hongjoong sighed into his ear and Seonghwa pressed his lips together so hard it hurt.
"I'm… I am… not… I'm not very good at this," the omega forced out, hiding his flushing face under the blanket. It was too hot already, but he dared not push it away.
Not very good was a weak word, because Seonghwa had never done anything like that before. Maybe his body was finally craving for it, but nothing could change the fact that he had no experience.
"You don't have to." The alpha replied with a brief hum. "You don't even need to touch yourself if you don't want to."
Seonghwa was listening so intensely he faintly heard a thud, as if the alpha moved to the bed. The omega squirmed under his sheets, feeling his heartbeat at the back of his head. When Hongjoong inhaled louder, the omega closed his eyes. Listening. His lips were already dry like he hadn't tasted water in years.
"Are you…" he heard himself cooing. "Are you going to touch yourself?"
"How could I not, when you're whispering into my ear?" Hongjoong murmured.
Seonghwa pressed the phone harder to his ear, his thighs locked against one another, fingers trapping the blanket like he was about to tear it into pieces.
The omega didn't answer. Not right away at least, but he captured his bottom lip with his teeth without noticing. The alpha's even breathing stuttered and a suppressed groan tingled the omega's ears. Another flesh-burn rush followed.
"Starlight?" Hongjoong's exhale pierced right into the lower part of Seonghwa's abdomen and his inner thighs itched in response to it. "Talk… talk to me."
The alpha's voice was sticky like honey. He respired slowly every letter, and the omega bent his back a little, wishing to be closer. Hurting his lip more before releasing it, but no words could come out. Seonghwa tried to figure out how to speak, while the blush from his cheeks traveled down his throat. How could one's breathing be this erotic?
"A-are you… are you already t-touching yourself?" Seonghwa didn't know where he got the courage to pull those words out of himself, but he wanted to know. Over the call, he couldn't see, and it wasn't enough to fill his deepest thoughts.
"Yes… yes." Hongjoong huffed . "Would you like to touch me too?"
"Mhmmm… mhm…" Seonghwa replied with a little nod although the man couldn't see it. He was about to burn through his mattress.
“Where? Tell me. Tell me, Starlight. Where do you want to touch me?” Hongjoong sounded so crisp and clear through the speaker, that Seonghwa could swear that this whisper made him feel things he was too stiff to comprehend yet. Sweat ran down the omega’s jawline, and he imagined it was Hongjoong’s tongue instead, burning tip, drawing the fire across his skin until the alpha would mouth Seonghwa’s exposed neck.
“I…” Seonghwa gaped his mouth for air. With his eyes shut, it was easier to imagine, less strange to let himself go a little. “I want to touch you…” he wept.
“I know, my precious… where?”
Precious? Seonghwa shuttered hard. Impossible to deny that he was getting hard from Hongjoong’s breaths. His words were just there to make it worse.
“Chest…” Seonghwa recalled the man’s lines from that night when he got to touch Hongjoong’s skin in his old apartment. The shape of his muscles, the curves, feeling how the heavy breathing lifted his body heavier when Seonghwa leaned closer.
“Are you teasing me?” Hongjoong shortly but uneasily laughed through a deep sigh, and Seonghwa softly sobbed in response. He wasn’t teasing, he just didn’t know what to do.
“No… no… I… Hongjoong…” Seonghwa slowly released his sheet to slip between the material and his nightwear. Insisting himself that he only wanted to feel a little, with no further intentions. But once his fingers grasped the bulge over his sleeping shorts, Seonghwa parted his lips more, feeling his mouth start to water. He had never felt this sensitive before. A slightly stronger push could send him over the edge.
“Starlight…” the alpha panted so thick it stayed glued to Seonghwa’s skin - his voice, distant touch.
“Joong—” the omega grunted with a roll of his hip and tears in his eyes. The sweet guilt hit him like a whiplash, but he was too desperate to pay attention. “Please… I need to touch you. I want you…”
He needed to feel him more and closer. He wanted Hongjoong to lay a promise on his skin - that it was alright. It was okay to do this, that both of them could let go, and no one would get hurt. He cried harder when Hongjoong growled into him - it was so raw that Seonghwa’s toes curled, as his pre-cum soaked through the material.
“You’ll… you will be the death of me…” Hongjoong swallowed words in a wet sound. “Seonghwa… I’m so close…”
Without intending to, a yelp escaped from Seonghwa, making an unholy sound. He too. He was so close to losing his fucking mind over the alpha yearning for him. The intimacy Seonghwa kept rejecting, yet now wished he would be the one touching Hongjoong. Seeing him cum as he groaned Seonghwa's name. His full name. Letter by letter. Like each of them was the most exotic sound and prohibited sound. The one that Heaven cursed and Hell welcomed.
“I’m so… I’m so… wet.” Seonghwa whimpered something that in his mind sounded so innocent, like a complaint that he, without realizing it, was pooling his sheets. “Please… I'm so wet, I need you…”
“Fuck…” Hongjoong's voice dropped even lower and then a moan followed after. "So many…. So many times I did this thinking of you… imagining you saying these words to me…"
Seonghwa didn't lie, his underwear was soaked again, just like that night when he woke up from the dream. Only this time Seonghwa didn't freak out. In reverse, it turned him on more. He wished Hongjoong would see it too, feel it. Maybe even taste it. Did the alpha ever imagine doing that?
Listening to Hongjoong heavily breathing into his ear, Seonghwa rolled his hips faster and faster into his palm. It didn't cover his size but tingled sensitive nerves, and the more he did it, the more thick slick gushed out.
"Starlight?" Hongjoong called Seonghwa under his breath. "Precious, are you going to cum too?"
No more words were needed after hearing the alpha's voice again. Seonghwa's body fell apart as he came inside his sleeping shorts but could feel it on his hand as well. The moan of Hongjoong's name that he couldn't control, the whimpers that continued through his whole orgasm. And cries. Loud cries. All he needed so badly now was the alpha's scent, but he couldn't find it. Even when he dropped his phone and hugged Hongjoong's jacket next to himself, it wasn't there.
Seonghwa whimpered louder, trying to scent it so hard, but there wasn't enough of it. No matter how hard he tried to search for comfort.
"Starlight?" Hongjoong whispered from his phone on the pillow.
"Alpha… I need your scent… I need it so much. Please… I need it… I can't find it." Was it him or his omega speaking, he couldn't tell anymore, and not like it mattered. It stressed him more than anything. Even Hongjoong wouldn't understand how badly.
"Shh… I will be there soon. Do you want to go to my apartment? I will send you my passcode… My bed is full of my scent." His voice switched a little, became softer and more careful like he was afraid Seonghwa would fall in shambles again. And he was about to for sure.
"But it's… it's not you," he complained, uncomfortably squirming under the blanket.
"No, but—"
"Seonghwa!"
It was brutal. The force that dragged him out from the floaty state, almost sent his inner omega into another wave of panic of someone else seeing him in such a weak state, even if it was just Wooyoung. Seonghwa had no clue how he collected himself in those few seconds that it took for his friend to open the door.
Seonghwa wasn't someone to get angry fast, but a knock would be nice. He forced himself to sit as soon as he could, while Wooyoung gave him those judging best friend's eyes. Why did everyone keep interrupting him and Hongjoong at the worst possible moment?
"Wh-at is it?" Seonghwa stuttered, praying that Wooyoung wouldn't jump on his bed now like he loved to do.
"I think we need to talk." Fortunately, he stood there with arms crossed against his chest, looking far away from friendly. So he was loud? Too loud? He got so lost in the feeling that he completely forgot that to reach his room Wooyoung would need to pass through his door too.
"Does… it have to be now?" Seonghwa's eye twitched even if the hint of his moaning wasn't enough, then maybe direct words would.
"I thought it could wait, but no. I can't. I don't like your so-called boyfriend." Wooyoung spat out suddenly and firmly. His opinion that his friend was holding back for days was coming out at the worst possible timing since Seonghwa hadn't ended the call. While Seonghwa speechlessly stared at him, Wooyoung continued. "And I don't give a fuck if he is my or your boss if he is a billionaire, fashion icon. Or how much talent he has, or whatever… Seonghwa. Open your eyes. Did you already forget how many times he made you cry? How he made fun of you sending back and forth with unnecessary tasks at the most unreasonable hours? The way he talked to you? Shamed? Did you forget how you almost dropped because of the way he behaved with you in his apartment?? Why did you give him your heart so easily? Just because he said fucking sorry? Wow, that's probably the most effort he had put in years to communicate! But that's not enough. I'm angry you don't have any self-respect!" He only stopped to take a breath. "I don't know how to tell you this, but all he did was use you so far! Oh God, he pissed me off so much…"
Seonghwa opened his mouth and closed it again. That wasn't what he needed now. He didn't want it to be rubbed into his face by someone who couldn't understand. Wooyoung meant well, that was what he was trying to tell himself as well.
"Please, Seonghwa. You know he doesn't deserve you. There are so many better ones out there if your heart needs someone so much. Your face is a mess and I heard your cries! Were you crying now about him as well? That's why you left to "sleep"? What did he do now?" The other omega continued asking angrily.
"I… wasn't crying." Seonghwa could only utter. But he was. Just for different reasons. "He didn't do anything."
"Right. Keep lying to yourself. Fuck. I want to comfort you, but you're doing this now to yourself!" Wooyoung waved his hands, despite Seonghwa shaking his head. He was hurting, and he knew that Wooyoung was hurting too because of him. But there was something even his best friend couldn't understand. Something Seonghwa couldn't order to his heart or soul.
"I know what I'm doing Wooyoungie… I need… I need you to trust me on this."
"My duty, as your best friend, is not to let you make mistakes. And he. That alpha is the biggest mistake you can make. He will drag you down to the same hell he is swimming in and that will hurt you and break you."
Maybe no one worded it like that, but Seonghwa could swear it wasn't the first time he heard similar things. Hongjoong was the villain for everyone. World's inspiration and role model, having the whole fashion industry under his feet but misunderstood and untrusted by his closest friends. And now by Seonghwa's friend too.
"Please leave…" Seonghwa asked, sliding through his mattress to lie down.
And Wooyoung did, without another word, shutting doors too loud. Seonghwa turned off the lights with shivering fingers, his bottom lip wobbly, the inner omega whining so hard it was ringing in his ears. At least until Hongjoong's voice came back.
"Starlight…"
"Did you… hear everything?" He barely opened his lips. He knew Hongjoong did, and for some reason was so embarrassed about it.
"You almost dropped… because of me?" he then asked.
"It doesn't matter now, Hongjoong… it doesn't matter. Nothing matters." Seonghwa forced himself to reply. He didn't want to remember that. He didn't want to feel anything negative. Seonghwa had enough of it.
"What do you mean it doesn't—"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Seonghwa covered his eyes with his arm, inhaling until his lungs started to burn. "I don't want to cry… I don't want to… I just want to feel… to feel you. To feel happy at this moment. I want to feel. Is that much to ask? Hongjoong, am I being a fucking idiot for falling in loving you? Even if so, I don't care."
"We can't leave it like that, Starlight. Even if you don't want to talk about it." Hongjoong's voice was gentle and it guided Seonghwa through falling deeper into his thoughts. "If you don't want to do it over the phone, I understand. But let's do it when I come back. Let's talk about everything."
"Okay…" Seonghwa sighed. It felt like what happened between them just minutes ago was deep in the past. "Hongjoong, I don't care what Wooyoung said, I want to be with you."
"I want to be with you." the alpha echoed. "So I will make this work. I will fix it, I will be better for you, my Star. Trust me." He promised and promised, the sweetest words following Seonghwa for the longest minutes, not only until he calmed down, but as he went to the bathroom too and changed his sheets, until he crawled back into the bed and fell asleep wrapped in Hongjoong's jacket, hoping these are few last nights he had to sleep alone.
The next morning Wooyoung walked out, possibly to return some books to the university, just as Seonghwa left his room in the morning. Their eyes met, but neither of them said a word. He hated that they were fighting again. He hated it so much. He knew that Wooyoung would understand if Seonghwa only told him more. If he could see with his own eyes how sweet Hongjoong was with Seonghwa, how caring. Seonghwa believed that then his friend could change his mind.
When the time came to leave for work after breakfast, his mood was still weird. There were no new messages from Hongjoong, but given the time difference, it was supposed to be around midnight in Paris. There was no way he would be sleeping at this hour. Seonghwa needed Hongjoong's comforting voice to pass this day.
Seonghwa stared at his screen for a decent minute before finally pressing the call button. The signal at the end of the line heavily echoed in his ears and the omega was about to hang up when he heard Hongjoong's giggle.
"Hi, Seonghwa. Is everything alright?" he asked and then laughed again. Clearly in the middle of the conversation with someone else. That explained why the first word wasn't the one Seonghwa wanted to hear.
"I can call later. Or tomorrow," the omega murmured like someone else on his end could hear them too. His heart had been pounding just a moment ago, but after hearing Hongjoong's neutral voice it stopped. He knew that the alpha was away, surrounded by people all the time, and still, it wasn't the voice Seonghwa heard yesterday before the sleep, nor was it the one he wanted now. He wondered why he was out with someone so late. Mingi and Yunho? Or another acquaintance?
"It's fine," Hongjoong answered shortly, and Seonghwa was prepared to drop the call and apologize for the inconvenience, but he still could hear Hongjoong's short breaths, so he didn't dare to.
"I will text you…" the omega stuttered a little, "Sorry—"
"Starlight. Stop… don't ever apologize for calling me." Hongjoong's voice changed in a moment when the background noise was gone. "Hi… good morning for my Starlight."
"Hi…" he suddenly felt too shy to continue. Even if no one was around, Seonghwa covered his face, feeling cheeks heating up from the way Hongjoong’s voice dropped to the side of intimate as soon as the phone call became private.
“Is there something you wanted to tell me?” the alpha wondered. “Or is there something you want me to tell you?”
“Not… not really. I just… well I just…” Seonghwa breathed in. “I just wanted to talk… but nothing in particular.”
“To hear my voice?” Hongjoong boldly pushed Seonghwa to confess.
Instead of an answer, the omega hummed something incoherent, melting into the kitchen's chair, and pressing his face deeper against his palm. He just wanted to hear Hongjoong and hoped he wanted the same.
“I miss you,” he answered instead of Seonghwa and the omega could almost screech because that was exactly what he wanted to say. “I enjoyed last night… our… talk over the phone.” he paused. "First part more though." then added.
“Oh god…” Seonghwa’s face flushed so much it was about to burn his fingers. “Hongjoong… um… I miss you too.” he almost whined into the phone, words not being enough to tell just how much. “Can’t you just come back?” He then cried almost pathetically, but Hongjoong gasped into the phone instead of finding it annoying. Even if they both knew he couldn't. Sunday still felt so far away.
After a little pause, the alpha on the other side of the line sighed. Honestly. No sign of teasing.
“If I only could, Starlight… if I only could. But I will be back soon. Just a few more days.”
Even a few hours sounded too long, not to mention days.
“That’s too long,” Seonghwa complained, playing with the necklace without noticing. The one that Hongjoong gifted him. Something he never took off. “Do you need to go now—-“
Seonghwa didn't finish the sentence when he heard someone speaking too close to Hongjoong. A cold tone. Too familiar, even if he didn’t want it to be.
“You… didn’t mention that Eden is coming to Paris with you… why?” The omega quietly murmured, not sure if Hongjoong heard, but Seonghwa already hung up, feeling more than betrayed by this lie. Hongjoong’s name popped out right after, but Seonghwa didn’t want to ruin his mood completely.
Thanks to Mingi he knew that Eden was coming to Incheon with them, but what was the reason to take him to Paris too? What if there was no acquaintance to begin with? Only Eden. The name Hongjoong was terrified to mention in front of Seonghwa, yet hurt more by not doing so.
Me, Friday 8:30 am
Wooyoungie, are you coming to KHJ today? We need to talk.
There is something about me and Hongjoong I need to tell you
I can't hold it back only to myself anymore
Not from you
Woo-yah❤️, Friday 8:32 am
I'm just wrapping things up for this semester
I will be at work in an hour
Me, Friday 8:33 am
I will be in the meeting from 9 until 10
Woo-yah❤️, Friday 8:35 am
That's fine, I have things to do.
Your photo shoot schedules won't make themselves you know.
Me, Friday 8:36 am
Right.
Woo-yah❤️, Friday 8:37 am
Please tell me it's something nasty
So I would have another reason to smack him
Me, Friday 8:38 am
You will probably want to smack me, honestly.
Also, last Sunday I overheard something
It's related to San. I know I should have told you sooner
I didn't know how
I'm sorry
But it is something important.
He is keeping a secret from you, I don't know what it is.
Wooyoung hasn't answered anything, as he was probably busy at university. However, Hongjoong kept messaging him for a while and then stopped. Seonghwa was successfully ignoring that for now. He had a feeling he would look at the messages after the meeting, once he would be hit by another wave of longing. But not yet. He had already told Hongjoong once that if he felt hurt he needed time out and the alpha could do nothing about that. Just to accept.
Seonghwa came to work just a little before nine. So he went right towards the meeting room, instead of the office. And as he opened the door to meet the staff, a new message from Wooyoung popped out.
Woo-yah❤️, Friday 8:59 am
Maybe the fact that he is engaged?