Chapter Text
"Stay with me and I'll stay with you. Even when you no longer want me.
I'll never be too far."
__SAV
⏐Executioners⏐
“The truth is we didn’t give you all the full details of his screening because… it was just so hard to hear. Repeating it, I… I can’t even say it now. But you boys are right, you deserved to know everything from the beginning. You should have been there when they called us in for his results. I’m sorry, my wife and I are so very sorry.” Namjoon’s father is a man falling apart. He begs brokenly for their forgiveness, though it is mostly unnecessary.
“We aren’t here to reprimand you for it. We just… I don’t know. I guess we were upset, but apologizing is not something you have to do. He is your son after all and we can only ask from him what he will give, the same goes for you.” Hoseok says, his voice breathy and exhausted. You would think it’s the time they all spend in shifts tending to Namjoon’s much needed hourly care but the truth is Hoseok, Yoongi and Seokjin are tired from the endless hours spent communicating with people on the dark web. Assassins for hire, crooked cops and judges who can get them to Jiho, government officials and city workers whom they can pay to erase their traces.
“No! Yes, I mean yes, he is my son. But you boys, you all have loved him more than myself or his mother ever could. You’ve all given him something only he could imagine. You have a right to know what happened as much as we do. Again, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you everything in the beginning.” Seokjin looks at Namjoon’s father and can’t imagine what he might be feeling, he wonders then, if they should tell him of their plans. But ultimately, that would put them at the risk of losing their freedom as well and he isn’t fond of the possibility.
After they all bid their goodbyes, it’s Jungkook who breaks the silence on the way back to the dorm. Jimin and Taehyung stayed with Namjoon, everyone too afraid to leave him alone, lest he need help to the bathroom, or become hungry, or wake up screaming and thrashing from a nap riddled with nightmares.
It has been the hardest for them as it was decided between them, the company, and Namjoon’s family that the best option was for him to stay with them and not go home. Though they could all see the fear and hurt in his mother’s eyes, the reality is that they were too frail to do much for him and Namjoon’s sister was still oh so busy with university.
“He… he touched him. Jin-hyung… he fucking touched him. He- he deserves the worst. He deserves to die.” Stopped at a red light Seokjin looks at Jungkook through the rearview mirror, his lashes weighted with unshed tears, his eyes rhythmically shaking with anger, and plush pink lips parted in disbelief.
The hyungs did not want to share this info with them, but they figured there really was no point in lying, if Namjoon ever remembered anything, they’d eventually have found out anyway. Seokjin thinks now, as he glances at Yoongi beside him, already watching, already seeing what Seokjin is thinking.
He looks to Hoseok in the back as well, a small nod and it’s decided. They’re going to loop in the maknaes of their plans to kidnap Jiho from his solitary confinement, find a basement that will serve as a reminder, and enjoy as they slowly drain his life from his body.
“Are you fucking crazy!” Jimin yells, confused and hurt, and truthfully stuck between wanting to kill Jiho himself and trying to be a voice of reason.
Taehyung says nothing, he stares at the floor like it’ll open soon and swallow them whole.
“They’re right is what they are. Joonie-hyung deserves this, we all do. Jiho….. Especially.” Jungkook sounds murderous and empty. Hoseok looks at him and instantly regrets telling them at all, their young ones should never have to experience such hate, but when he looks at Yoongi and Seokjin he thinks maybe this can serve as a lesson too. Jungkook might be angry, might feel a deep burning hate, but it comes from so much love. And maybe Hoseok can hold on to that as a positive, that his youngest brother and best friend has learned to love irrevocably through them, so much so that he’s willing to do anything on their behalf.
“You’re all crazy. This is just…” Jimin gives up, he knows that despite the true logic here, he also wants to see Jiho suffer. He’s imagining it already, how it might go, how he’d love to be the first to hurt him.
“You can see it now, can’t you?” Seokjin asks if there was anything he had ever felt so determined about before it was this. More than their careers, more than becoming famous, more than becoming BTS. Seokjin wasn’t going to kill Jiho, well he was going to try not to, but ultimately he was going to make sure that he suffered for the rest of his life.
“What if we get caught? What if someone finds out what we did and we all end up losing our lives anyway, what good would that do Namjoon-hyung?”
“Jiminah, you don’t have to do anything. We told you three because we decided it was the right thing to do. It would have eaten away at us if we kept it a secret, we’re a family and we don’t hide things from each other. You, any of you, are welcome to opt out and stay home with Joon. You have an option.” Yoongi moves closer to Jimin and pulls him into a hug when Taehyung finally speaks up.
“Let’s get real about this, there’s no way any of us is missing out on the opportunity to hurt this fucker. He deserves the worst, he deserves much worse than what he did to hyung, and we can give that to him. But tell me… why aren’t we just killing him entirely?” Taehyung’s voice is so cold, so empty of his usual self, the rest all stand in shock before anyone responds.
“Aside from the fact that not returning him after we get him alone is a lot harder to cover up legally, I want him to remember us for the rest of his miserable life. No one and nothing should have ever come in between us in the first place. But it did, all of us have a part to play in that and Namjoonie, as result, suffers the most. He almost ruined our family, and I, we, have worked too hard for this. I’ll be damned if something ever dares to tear us apart again. But most of all, he made Joon forget, but I won’t allow Jiho that courtesy. My name, our names alone, will have him shaking and itching to get out of his own skin.”
Again, Seokjin has never been quick to violence, has hardly even been angry or has raised his voice. However, saying these words now he realized just how much he’s truly grown to love them all. Something about this feels vital and he wants to mention it to them. He wants to tell them that he’d do this if it were any of them, he wants to tell them that he’d very easily, both live and die for them but the reality is - he doesn’t quite know how to put those in words.
“You don’t have to say it hyung, we know.” Yoongi says, always on the same page as Seokjin, reading him easily.
Seokjin nods and they continue to tell the young ones exactly how all this will go down in the next week. After that night they all seem to sleep a bit more easily.
⏐Echo⏐
When Seokjin and Hoseok wake up for their early morning shifts with Namjoon they find Jungkook in his bed, cuddled up against him, instead of on the floor or the couch like usual.
It isn’t odd, per se, to find their youngest practically drowning himself in any of his hyungs. But it’s been so long since any of them have been able to affectionately show Namjoon their love. They haven’t wanted to trigger him or make him uncomfortable and Hoseok wakes up Jungkook, he thinks back to his thought about having no issue with living a lifetime with Namjoon all over again just to give him the same happy memories and more.
“He said he had a dream yesterday when he was napping. That it was fairly vague but he remembered enough for me to know that it was a memory and not a dream.” Jungkook says through his grogginess.
“I… I started to cry cause I just couldn’t help it. Sometimes I catch him looking at us like he remembers but then that recognition is gone just as fast as it came. How, how are we ever going to get him back?”
“I don’t know if we ever will Jungkookah, it might not ever happen”, Hoseok cradles him and Seokjin watches from the door, “But what we can do is give him everything we already have and more. Just because he doesn’t remember doesn’t mean we can’t just create better memories together.”
“He said that he wanted me in bed with him. But that he had to be honest and tell me that he only offered cause of how sad I looked. I couldn’t turn it down, I just want to be close to him all the time. I want to hold him and remind him how loved he is. Do you think he knows?” Jungkook looks at Seokjin this time and Hoseok turns to him too.
Seokjin can see just over Jungkook’s shoulders and he sees Namjoon looking right back at him, unshed tears sitting heavily on his bottom eyelashes. He’s biting his lip, doing his best not to make a sound, and Seokjin realizes something else just then.
“I think he gets the idea. For now, that’s all that matters. Why don’t we order out for breakfast? You guys can pick and I’ll straighten up things here and help him with this morning stuff.” They both concede and walk out without looking back.
When they’re both gone and the door is closed behind them, Namjoon finally lets his tears fall. He sobs so hard, his chest heaving without control, Seokjin goes just from the sight alone.
“It’s okay Joonie. Hyung, is here. Tell me what you remember, but take your time.” He slides in place next to Namjoon on the bed, arm over his shoulders, and cradles his head to his chest.
“I- I don’t know if what I see is real or not. It’s like flashes of things, award shows and birthdays, we’ve been camping together?” Namjoon’s voice is so thoroughly wrecked that Seokjin has the urge to get up and make him tea but can’t bring himself to leave Namjoon’s side.
“Well the awards shows and birthdays, yes of course. We’ve spent plenty together. Camping, yes sort of, we stayed in a vacation house really. But there was fishing and fun activities. You loved it, you painted, you ate well, you laughed your beautiful dimpled laugh like you always have.”
“I’m not beautiful anymore.”
And that- that hurts Seokjin to his core. Because not only has Jiho taken away something so sacred from him, but the lack of self-love and confidence that Namjoon has worked so hard for is now missing too. He moves a little and reaches under Namjoon’s chin to look him in the eye.
“Don’t ever say something like that again, Namjoonah. No matter the scars, whether visible or not, you will always be one of the most beautiful people I have ever been blessed to lay my eyes on.” He sounds harsh even though he doesn’t mean to and Namjoon’s lip begins to wobble again, so he brings him closer again.
“What else do you remember?
He doesn’t mean to push, knows he shouldn’t, but if going through his flashes of memories will help him remember more then… maybe it’s a good thing.
“I remember Jiho. I miss him. I want him all the time. I know I shouldn’t, but it’s like my body and my brain just can’t connect. I know we slept together. A few times… I mean, I… I can’t say he forced me because I very clearly remember saying yes. That I wanted it-”
“In the same way you know you shouldn’t want or miss him, because you are aware of who he really is and what he did. You should always make the same connection that what happened between you two wasn’t actual consent Namjoon. He brainwashed you, he made you believe so many wrong things my baby. I will correct them all for you. We will.” His own voice is becoming weaker by the minute but the determination to hurt Jiho beyond his fragile imagination grows stronger.
“You remember more than what you’re telling me Namjoon.”
“He also said you would say everything that you have all said. That you would arrest him and I should fight for him, that you would turn me against him and I shouldn’t listen.”
“And you haven’t because?”
“Because my heart will not let me deny you. Any of you. I know I don’t have all the pieces now but I will soon, hopefully. I cannot explain what my heart feels every time I look at one of you but I know that you mean the world to me, maybe more than my own life, and that I mean just as much to you.”
It’s Seokjin’s turn to cry.
“I’m sorry hyung. I’m doing my best.”
They both lay there, crying together, and eventually falling back to sleep. When Hoseok comes to check on them later he thinks better of waking them and closes the door again.
⏐God-fearing⏐
It’s finally time.
The whole ride over Seokjin felt so on edge, like he was ready to explode, but when he looked back at everyone else in the car, he realized he wasn’t the only one. The energy in the car felt combustible, like if one of them had said one wrong thing, or moved a centimeter in the wrong way, they’d all be set aflame right then and there. To burn in their shared hate and anger.
Namjoon’s parents came to stay with him for the night. They of course, did not mention why they’d all be gone, but thinking of it now, they didn’t really need to. The air was thick with tension, even if his parents were entirely oblivious, they could sense all the boys were very set on a mission.
They arrive a couple hours later in an empty lot by the port. Seokjin quickly points in the direction of the designated warehouse that they are meant to meet up with a distant cousin who works as a prison official, he just so happened to personally receive Jiho and check him in.
It wasn’t easy getting to this point, the amount of people they had to pay, the insurance they had in place they accidentally killed him, it was all beginning to feel very much like those mob movies Jungkook likes to watch.
“Seokjin-hyung. Been a while. Follow me.” Seokjin’s cousin keeps his words quiet but curt, motioning in the direction of a dark hallway with a staircase at the end. Still there are no lights except whatever faint one is lit in the room at the bottom of the stairs.
They all pause as his cousin stops at the door, Seokjin turns to look at all of them, searching their faces for any doubt or fear. He finds none. But he finds more than that, rage, hurt, a coldness someone can only feel in such a situation. When he turns back he nods and his cousin opens the door for them, they’re met with two more guards standing behind Jiho, who for now, has a black cover over his head.
One guard steps forward and speaks up, “You guys have until exactly ten minutes before 5am, when you come outside we’ll come back down for him. Dead or alive. Well… have your fun.”
The guards step away and Seokjin’s cousin is the last to leave, before he shuts the door he turns back and reminds his cousin, “Jin-hyung, are you sure you wanna go this route? This isn’t something you can ever come back from.”
Everyone looks at him, faces empty and cold, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning cousin. Sleep well.”
His cousin sighs deeply and leaves the lot of them behind.
Before anyone moves or breathes after the door is shut, Jungkook stalks his way to Jiho and delivers a heavy blow straight to his jaw. Everyone turns at the disgusting crack they hear. Jungkook’s impact is so powerful he knocks Jiho right over, “Okay… Honestly? I’m not surprised that Jungkook is the first to hit him”, Taehyung laughs a little sickly at the irony of their situation. They’re fucking Kpop idols for fucks sake.
“Hyung.” Yoongi looks at Seokjin and without words they pick up Jiho and drag him to sit up against the back wall.
“Take off his fucking hood. I want him to see us.” Jimin spits venom like they’ve never heard before. Hoseok looks on at his young one, he’s crying, and he doesn’t think Jimin even knows.
As soon as the hood is pulled off Jimin kicks him straight in the chest, they all hear another crack and aren’t sure if it’s his chest or the chair that broke.
“You stupid fucks. What are you gonna do when you get caught for this? You think you’re above the law?! Do you think you’re God?!” Jiho laughs loudly, eyes wide, and blood spewing from his teeth.
Yoongi walks up to him slowly as Jiho settles down from his little psychotic outburst. He crouches down, gets just below Jiho’s eye level, and through his pretty blonde fringe he serves him a look that could kill all on his own.
“Jiho. Oh poor Jiho. This is the situation you’re in, so listen well because I won’t repeat myself.” As he stands up again he grabs Jiho roughly by the chin and grabs a small gun he’d been hiding and shoves the muzzle down his throat.
“You demented fuck. You, Jiho, have no power here. You will answer every question you are asked. Keeping you alive will be considered, but it is not guaranteed. For every stupid fucking thing that comes out of your fucking mouth… someone here will hurt you. Cut you. Burn you. Break another bone? Who fuckn knows, really.” Yoongi lets go and takes a few steps back aiming the gun right above his heart.
“And no we’re not above the law and we don’t think much about God either.” He pulls the trigger and the bullet goes straight through Jiho’s shoulder.
Though they were all prepared for this and how gruesome it might become, the reality is only really just beginning to settle in. Seokjin is the only one truly filled with pure rage, he doesn’t feeling anything but his love for his family and his need for absolute revenge.
He’s only just a hairs breath away from killing Jiho right here, right now.
“Okay, not gonna lie, but I am a little surprised that Yoongi-hyung has a gun.” Taehuyung decides to quip as Jiho continues to thrash and scream from the pain. They all look at him deadpan and move on to different positions surrounding Jiho.
Seokjin finally moves front and center as Hoseok and Yoongi both flank Jiho.
“Is the interrogation part of your pathetic revenge scheme? I mean c’mon, what is it that you’re really hoping for here? Why not just kill me now? Get it over with. You idiots don’t have any real reason to keep me alive.” Jiho drops his head again, all the pain draining him of any energy he has.
“Killing you now would be a blessing. Killing you now Jiho, would make it easier for you. And I’m not too keen on making anything easy for you tonight.” Seokjin widens his stance a little bit but relaxes his shoulders.
“So, why?” Seokjin asks, “Why Namjoon?”
A laugh rips itself from Jiho’s throat, disgustingly bloody and gurgled.
‘God you’re disgusting.” Hoseok says.
“Hmm. Wouldn’t you like to know.” And Hoseok punches Jiho straight across the face for his attitude. He spits out a tooth and starts to realize there’s no escaping the torture thats to come. But he suspected all this, wanted it really, he just wanted Namjoon at least once, and now? Now he’s marked him all over, ruined him for anyone else. Even if he dies tonight, he got what he wanted, and in the end having Namjoon as close as humanly possible is enough.
“What’s so funny Jiho? Are you reminiscing? Does hurting Namjoon the way you did really bring you that much joy?” Seokjin tilts his head to the side a little, Jimin thinks he looks a little scary like this. Seemingly rattled and ready to kill, but he’s so calm. So contained.
Jimin knows why fate made him the oldest of their group. Who could love any better than their Seokjin-hyung.
“Let me guess, Jiho. You think you’ve won because you got to him. You had him for a bit, you drove him half mad, you erased so many of his good memories, you stripped of his innocence… Jiho, if you think you’ve broken him in any way you truly never knew him. Namjoon is one the strongest people this world will ever have been blessed to witness. You may have ruined some things for him for some while, but you can never take away Namjoon’s courage. His willingness to love wholly and his determination to move forward. Yea, haha, it’ll take my little one some time. But understand this Jiho, whatever goal you had in mind, whatever aftermath you hoped for? Doesn’t exist. Consider yourself a failure.” Seokjin laughs and takes the machete Taehyung brought with him.
He brings it up against Jiho’s adam's apple, “Talk”, he says. A little of the poor man’s insanity has lifted, he sees the 6 of them more clearly now. These are not Kpop idols, these are demons, these are his devils, his executioners.
“I- I loved him. I still l-love him now. But he rejected me, when we were younger, we were in an exchange program together and… and he was just so beautiful. I-I don’t know what you want me to say. I love him! He loves me too-”
His words are cut off when Jungkookn rushes to push his chair over and brings his steel-toe boot to his neck, he pushes down, cuts off his air supply.
“I dare you to fucking say it. You piece of shit, you could never be loved.” And promptly spits in his face.
Yoongi and Hoseok drag him back up.
Taehyung brings a chair from across the room to bring over to Seokjin. He takes his seat in front of Jiho and nods for him to continue.
“I… I wanted revenge” He says lowly, his voice changing just a bit. Soekjin is taken back by the, he peeks a quick look at everyone else and sees they’re all wearing the look of confusion.
“I wanted revenge the same you all do. Namjoon was the first boy I ever loved. Trust me I tried to get over it. I dated when I got older, of course I was disowned after coming out to my family. Then one day I see Namjoon with the fucking likes of all of you. And it just made me sick to my stomach. That was in 2015, you all had just debuted. But hey, look at you now, the world can’t get enough of you. It makes fucking sick. You don’t deserve any of it. You don’t deserve Namjoon.”
“So yes, I lied my way through the job. Paid a few black market people to set up some things in the system about me. Stalked you all for years and finally had my opening. It was precious”, he looks up then, a sinister smile taking residence over his bloodied teeth.
Seokjin holds his gaze, “Oh it was so precious. He fought for so long, screamed for all of you, never once asked for his parents. He screamed for you the most Jinnie-hyung . I’m starting to think he’s a little in love with you.” Jiho smirks something ugly, a lopsided thing that makes him look that much more grotesque.
Seokjin stares at him head on, slowly gets up from the chair and drags it backwards. He turns and opens a chest that was brought to the basement beforehand, just then Jimin slides up next to. “Let me choose hyung? Can I help you? Let me be useful.” His voice saccharine sweet, dripping with something his hyungs only hear when he’s truly desperate for something. His hyung leans down and places the sweetest little butterfly kiss on his forehead.
“Soon my little one. Hyung has a few points he wants to get a cross first.” Seokjin pats him gently on the cheek and asks him to wait on the side with Taehyung and Jungkook.
“You see Jiho. I thought about this for a very long time, spent a lot of my hard earned money to get you here, and I regret none of it. And yes, this may be out of character for me but I can tell you this much, whatever state of being you leave here in, I won’t regret one second of it. You and I, Jiho… sweetie, are going to become very well acquainted.” Seokjin looks at Yoongi and Hoseok and directs them to strip him down to his underwear. Hoseok decides cutting through it with a knife is the quickest.
Seokjin moves toward Jiho slowly, can-like, Seokjin wants to play.
He brings a blade to Jiho’s cheek, presses until he breaks skin, and brings it up slowly to his hairline. There is blood pouring from Jiho’s face and clumps, Seokjin can tell he’s gritting his teeth, not wanting to scream and give them the satisfaction.
“Go ahead baby, you can be loud. I like to hear my conquests.” Seokjin says, the room is dead silent again aside from their captive’s heavy breathing.
“Hyung…” Taehyung starts weakly.
“Quiet. Your hyung is busy.”
Somethings clicked in all of them at this point, everyone realizing the state of mind Seokjin has slipped into. They’ve all seen him be in control before but never like this, this hyung, they don’t recognize.
Seokjin takes the blade across the other side of his face, “There you go, now you match.” He then stabs the blade into his knee and presses until the hilt has been forced in as well.
“You’re a blubbering fucking mess. Still feel powerful? Still feel in control Jiho? I wonder if this is how my Joonie felt, you say you loved him so much but you put him through this type of hell? This torture? You really don’t deserve to live. I should take your life…” Seokjin walks around the room as he says this, another blade twirling between his fingers, he’s manic, he's talking to Jiho but he’s talking to no one at the same time.
He’s coming a little more than just undone and everyone can see it, yet no one knows how to stop it, nor do they want to.
“Take your turns. We have less than 2 hours left.” He tells them all and pulls his original seat off to the side to watch as the people he loves the most bring another human being to nothing but absolute shreds.
Taehyung and Jungkook seemed to be the most relentless, Jungkook with his fists and Taehyung with his toys. The machete he found seemed to be his favorite one, Taehyung went around looking in the chest while everyone else put in their own work on Jiho. Seokjin watched as the young boy’s eyes lit up with utter delight. He even giggled , brought his long slender fingers to cover his mouth, as if anything could hide the joy he felt.
If there was anyone else on his level of lunacy, it would be Taehyung. Seokjin was beyond enjoying the gift they were given here, but it wasn’t as though he didn’t find any solace in it either. He hopes, at the very least, they’re all inflicting the same amount of pain that was rendered on Namjoon. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t think anything will ever satisfy his need for revenge. Killing or maiming Jiho will only do so much, it doesn’t give back what was taken from Namjoon, his memories, his virtue, his life. Maybe this is why there is a certain level of boredom watching the hate be poured out of the men he loves so much.
Jungkook and Yoongi both swing left and then right in alternating procession against Jiho’s jaw and his ribs. Blood has splattered on their faces, Hoseok has done the least damage but he seems to find gratification in watching.
Maybe they’re all a little crazy. This… this level of love is terrifying for him to realize. They would quite literally do anything for each other, kill, lie, anything.
Seokjin laughs out something bubbly and out of place. Everyone turns to look at him, heavy breathing replacing the brute impact of fist and bone. It’s Jimin who cracks first, then Jungkook and Taehyung.
Hoseok and Yoongi don’t quite laugh but they do smile and look around their family with a fondness Seokjin hasn’t seen in a while.
He looks at each of them, “I love you, all of you. So much. I don’t think I will ever love anyone or anything this much. Stay with me, no matter what happens to us after this, stay with me?” His voice is hoarse from the disuse and emotions clogging up his throat.
Yoongi comes forward and pulls Soekjin by the hand to bring him closer to the rest of them, “Hyung. Where the fuck would we go?”
Their night turns to early morning. They leave bloodied, exultant, and intoxicated. Each heading home with the other, bellies full of gratitude, they get to go home to Namjoon again. Seokjin is grateful for his life, despite the criminal things they’ve all just done, he doesn’t regret a thing. It seems none of them do.
Jiho is left clinging to his last thread of life. “Y’know, he’ll probably be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.” Jungkook tries really hard to hold in his laughter but it ends up coming out like the liveliest thing they’ve heard all night.
⏐Namjoon⏐
In the first few weeks after their time with Jiho, they all did their very best to hide their joy, but failed tremendously. Namjoon had already gained back so much of his memories that their habits were getting easier and easier to read again. He called them out on it and they all claimed they were just happy that he was remembering them and himself.
But Seokjin knows better than to think Namjoon sincerely believed that.
In the following months, Namjoon does his best to heal, they all do. They never leave back to their own homes or apartments, Namjoon doesn’t ask to move back into his, and they continue to live their lives together under one roof.
Seokjin gets stuck in his thoughts sometimes when he sees them all together. He wonders how broken they all were to begin with to have been able to move on so quickly from the heinous things they did. The nightmares for Jimin and Hoseok only last about a week. Yoongi may have had the worst insomnia yet for the first month, and the youngest two found it the hardest to eat about the same time.
But Seokin wasn’t about to let his family fall apart again, let alone because of Jiho. He pushed mattresses into the living to create one big bed and had everyone start sleeping together. He made dishes that were easy on the stomach and found channels of ASMR for insomniacs for Yoongi to try out.
Everything worked itself out, except for himself and Namjoon. Even though Namjoon was healing, he was still hurting, and Seokjin was bearing all the secrets to himself only. Namjoon’s pain wasn’t something his hyung could fix and if there was anything to actually feel guilty for, Seokjin thinks it’s this.
“Hyung. What did you guys do?” His lips tremble as they both sit on the balcony, the view overlooking the city, a seemingly omniscient view. Seokjin knew they would have this talk at some point, but he was also hoping they would never have to.
“Nothing that we can do anything about now, Namjoon-ah. I love you, we love you. It’s enough isn’t it?” Seokjin asks. He doesn’t mean to be dismissive but he also doesn’t know what to say.
“It’s enough, more than. Always has been. But… you’ve kept this from me. Will you always keep this from me?”
“I think… For now, yes. Maybe later, if I’m a different person in the years to come, in the years I hope we all get to spend together, I will tell you whatever you want to know.” He finally turns to look at Namjoon who has quiet tears making their way down his beautiful face.
“I want that. I want to be with you forever.” Namjoon says through a broken voice.
“You have us Joonie.”
“No. Hyung, I… I want you. I know that, that I’m not perfect in anyway and I will probably remain some sort of hideous for the-”
“Don’t you dare Namjoon-ah, don’t you dare say anything so stupid. Look at me.”
Namjoon turns his way.
“I- I have always found you to be the most beautiful. But how can I ever be worthy of you or your love for that matter?”
Namjoon laughs a little, “If I’m not allowed to insult myself, then neither are you. You deserve me hyung. All of me. For the rest of my life. And I want you, I always have. I just… I never knew how to tell you. Hyung…”
Seokjin leans back in his chair and breathes out something impatient. Of course he wants Namjoon, wants to give him everything he possibly can, but after everything they’ve been through, how can he? How can they work? How can they last?
“Hyung, I love you. I know that you love me. I know you see me the way I see you. Hyung… Hyung!” Seokjin looks back at him.
“Hyung, take me to bed. Erase him from me.” Namjoon begins to really cry now.
And if there was anything that could break Seokjin’s resolve any quicker, it was this.
In their moments of shared vulnerability Seojin carries Namjoon to his old room, lays him gently, and leaves the lightest of butterfly kisses over every square inch of his body. In shared breaths they confess everything, sans the near murder, Seokjin gives him his all and Namjoon readily receives.
Never did they think they’d end up here, but they don’t mind it either.
“Namjoon-ah.”
“Hyung.”
“Stay with me.”
“Always, hyung.”