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The Sun, the Moon, and All Our Stars

Chapter 73: A Tempest of Fear

Notes:

Previous Chapter Recap/Context: Kate's upbringing could not have been more different than Sebastian's. She grew up deeply loved, rich, and wanting for nothing, trained to be a proper Pureblood lady like her mother. As she became an adult, she sought to live the way she wished - not necessarily following the expectations of upper class Wizarding society but not completely rejecting and rebelling against them, either. From the moment Kate fell in love with Sebastian, she knew that a deep conflict would ensue when her family, particularly her mother, learned of his troubled past as a former Azkaban inmate who didn't complete his education. Sebastian has a deep seated fear that Kate's family will never accept him and that she will be forced to choose between her family and him. No matter how many times Kate has told him she will never leave him, he has experienced rejection time and time again and has learned to expect the worst. Kate has put off her family long enough by keeping their relationship quiet and sharing as few details about Sebastian as possible through her correspondence, and now, the dreaded day has arrived when she must finally reveal everything.

 

Content warnings: In general, this story is rated 18+, so minors should not read or interact with this story. This chapter features heavy anxiety regarding abandonment and family approval and judgment.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Sebastian’s eyes are already open when the enchanted alarm of the piano begins to play on Thursday morning. 

Kate stretches out her legs, and Sebastian’s fingers spread on her hip, tracing her silky skin. Turning over, her eyes acclimate to the soft light. She stares at the ceiling and places her hand over his.

Neither of them say a word.

When she rolls once more on her side to face him, she squeezes his hand tightly, needing his reassurance. That’s when she fully examines his face, finding dark circles under his eyes as he slowly blinks in exhaustion. He yawns and brings his hand to her face, tracing his thumb over her cheek. She melts into his touch, and that’s when he notices how pale she is - how her eyelids droop and can’t seem to fully open. 

“Did you sleep well?” he asks, pushing for her to share why she clearly didn’t.

Kate chews her lip, hesitating. “I slept alright, love. How about you?”

He looks into her sapphire eyes and notices her pupils quickly dart to the side. Deception.

“I hardly slept. I tossed and turned…” Sebastian answers honestly, his voice tinged with raw vulnerability. “Sunshine, I… would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about your visit with your family today. It kept me up all night.”

Kate’s eyes close as though he’s hit close to home, and she sighs. “Sebastian, no matter what happens, I love you.” She moves closer to him, pressing her body flush against his, and threads her fingers through his chestnut hair soothingly. “I am yours, and you are mine. Nobody can change that.” She leans in to press her lips to his in a slow, languid kiss. “Today may be difficult and unpleasant, but it will change nothing about you and me. We’re together for the long haul, Sebastian.”

“You say that,” he murmurs, “but what if something is said that changes your mind? Your life would be so much easier if you were with someone else. A man who doesn’t have a past like mine… someone who doesn’t make you agonize all night over how you might present him to your parents.”

Kate’s breath catches, and he realizes he’s hit the mark exactly. She’s quiet for a moment.

“I don’t want anyone else,” she whispers, pulling his face into the crook of her neck. “I want my soulmate. I want you.” She kisses the top of his head, wrapping her arms around his back. 

It is then that Sebastian feels it, when he is completely enveloped by her - she is trembling. “Sweetheart,” he murmurs with infinite tenderness. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kate responds quickly, her eyes closed as she shakes her head. “Don’t- don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

“No… You don’t seem fine,” he insists. “Kate - are you… are you worried about-”

“Sebastian, don’t,” she tells him urgently. “Please… don’t.”

His heart aches, realizing they’ve both shared the same anxiety over today’s event. He rolls backwards, pulling her into his chest. He strokes her hair, attempting to soothe her despite the tempest of fear storming through his own mind. 

“I love you, Kate. I love you,” he whispers, kissing the top of her head. “I wish… I wish I could…” His voice growing quiet, he trails off, not knowing how to dispel her worries when he shares them himself.

He’d bring Kate the moon. All the stars in the sky.

He would make all of her dreams come true.

He swears at that moment that he will do anything to convince her family that he is the man for her. The only man for her. 

As Sebastian gets ready for work that morning, part of him wonders if there is more he should have done for Kate. Should he have prepared a letter of introduction for her to present to her parents? Sent a gift? Purchased Liquid Luck so that she could have had the best day possible? Sent her with a promise ring to show their commitment? 

Whatever he could have done, it is too late now. At the front door, all he can do is kiss her, embrace her tightly, and whisper words of encouragement in her ear.






 

It feels like January of her fourth year all over again, knowing she is about to face a Boggart for the first time in Defense Against the Dark Arts. 

Except this time, she knows what form it will take.

It’s never changed.

Back then, Professor Hecat had lined all of the students up to one at a time to face a Boggart. She had been third in line. The Boggart had shapeshifted into a werewolf for the first Gryffindor boy in line. The next student, a girl from Ravenclaw, went up against a huge rat. Kate hadn’t quite known what to anticipate when she stepped forward, but she had not expected it to turn into her parents.

Her mother had stepped forward with a sour look on her face. “After all we’ve done for you, all we have provided, you’ve squandered it, Kate…” 

And then her father, who is as supportive as a parent could be, quietly told her, “I’m disappointed in you. We both are…”

Kate had frozen, shocked at his words, before she remembered it was just a Boggart. With the expression of a cornered wild animal, she stammered, “R-riddi… R-riddicu…” as her parents closed in on her. Her mother pointed a finger in her face, further discussing the shame Kate had brought to the Mayflower family and asking why she was not as studious as her younger sister. Couldn’t she be more ambitious like Irene?

The professor had to step in, much to Kate’s mortification. And that month, she put herself through weekly tutoring to pass the Boggart unit.

This time, one decade later, her fears cannot be resolved with a simple defensive spell or extra lessons. Deep down, Kate knows that this visit will not go well, but she has no idea what she is really walking into, and the unknown is perhaps what is most terrifying.

Sitting on her bed, she laces her boots. She hums a simple melody, hoping it will distract her. When she stands, she adjusts the rose brooch at her collar. In the full-length gold mirror, she examines her appearance, scrutinizing every little detail as she adjusts the belt at her waist. She’s dressed in a coordinated pale pink jacket with delicate buttons and a pale pink skirt with cream-colored lace accents. She places a matching hat over her long hair, pinning it in place. The outfit feels a bit stuffy, considering the warm weather, but her mother will expect proper decorum. According to the special etiquette of Lady Eliza Beckett Mayflower, when one doesn’t visit for over a month, the next social call is a formal one.

Before she apparates to the family manor, she reaches inside her blouse and slowly pulls out her golden locket. She handles it delicately, running her index finger and thumb over the design of the crescent moon and flowers. Then, she opens it, staring at the handsome portrait of Sebastian and then the one of them as a couple. After a moment, she closes the clasp and kisses the locket for good luck, placing it safely back under her clothing, nestled near her heart.

Apparition is fast, and she finds herself in the middle of a familiar wooded area on a road lined with blue, white, and purple flowers. The tall trees are filled with bright green leaves that rustle gently with July’s light breeze. The air smells sweet and fresh. Birds sing high in the canopy. 

Epping Forest. Home.

Her feet move automatically down the path, and just a few minutes later, she waits before the gates to the Mayflower manor. They slowly swing open, magically registering her identity and allowing her entry as a family member. The moment she steps onto the grounds, she hears a tiny poof.

“Miss Kate!” a squeaky voice breaks the quiet. “You’ve come home!”

“Pinky!” Kate greets her family’s house elf, who is aptly named - she is wearing a pink hat and a pink dress. “Hello!”

“Oh! Pinky just loves your frock, Miss Kate!” She snaps her fingers, and with large, purple eyes, extends her hand to give a pink flower to Kate.

“Aw, thank you! That’s so sweet.” Kate smells it and places the stem behind her ear. 

“Pinky will inform the Lady and Master that the eldest Miss Mayflower has finally arrived. Welcome home! Should you require anything, please, just call for Pinky!” She disappears, apparating back into the house and leaving Kate on her own.

Kate follows the pebbled pathway towards the manor and attempts to psych herself up. She takes deep breaths as she passes perfectly manicured topiaries, hydrangea trees, and rose bushes, all her father’s handiwork. Truly, the estate is stunning. As the huge house, built so long ago, comes into view, she sighs - the sight is both a comfort and a stressor.

Would Sebastian ever belong here? In her family’s world?

And if he doesn’t… does she?

She frowns as she passes by the northern-facing side of the manor towards the front entrance. The unique stonework, creeping emerald vines, and landscaping along the house are works of art. 

The plant life gives her pause. An idea strikes her, and she reconsiders her approach.

Turning on her heel, she strides back down the path, and instead, she follows a tiny man-made creek west. She passes through a huge stone wall covered in snowy white flowers and finally can see the back of the estate. It’s wide and far-reaching, and her father’s little greenhouse only becomes visible after a few more minutes of strolling. The door has been left ajar. Her hunch was correct.

Kate cautiously swings the door open a bit further and enters the humid space. Through an enchantment, it is so much bigger on the inside - it rivals the size of the greenhouses at Hogwarts. Neat rows of plants fill the front; the back is like a jungle, with much larger plants and trees as far as the eye can see. 

“Papa?” Kate calls. “Are you h-”

She jumps in surprise, her father right there at his workstation. He also appears to have taken a fright and clutches his heart dramatically. He gives her a huge grin.

“Katie girl!” he yells excitedly, opening his arms wide for an embrace, which Kate relishes.

“Papa, I’m so glad to see you,” she murmurs as they break apart.

“And I you! It’s been far too long,” he replies. “Your mother and I have missed you this summer. It seems our girl has been busy.” Behind his golden spectacles, there is a twinkle in his eye. 

Kate smiles back, taking in Anthony Mayflower. He’s wearing a rather dirty green apron, gardening gloves, and boots fit for work in the mud. His face is a bit smudged, which makes her giggle softly. His hair, once blonde, is slowly turning white, as is his mustache. From all of the days working in the sun, his skin is tanned and golden, highlighting the warm amber of his eyes. 

“It’s true - I have been busy. And I want to tell you all about it,” she confirms. “I actually… have quite a lot to tell you and Mama and Irene.” She studies his response.

“I figured as much. Your mother has been… quite keen to find out about your new fellow,” he tells her, shaking his head with a smile. He removes his gloves, leaving them on the large wooden work table. 

Pinky suddenly apparates into the greenhouse. “Sir! Miss Kate is-” She realizes she is too late. “Oh! Sir, Pinky apologizes for not sharing the news of her arrival in time. Miss Kate must not have come into the manor properly.”

Kate chuckles. “Sorry, Pinky. I wanted to see Papa first. Don’t worry - it’s my fault, not yours.”

Pinky squeaks, still upset with herself, disappearing once more.

Anthony’s smile grows wider at Kate’s admission. “As pleased as I am to hear it, we shouldn’t keep your mother waiting, Katie.” He removes his apron, hanging it near his workstation, and makes his way towards the door. 

Kate nods, hesitating. 

Her father senses it, stopping. He takes a long look at his daughter.

“Papa,” she begins, wringing her hands. “I… I have something to tell everyone, and I’m… quite nervous.”

“Oh, my dear, how bad can it possibly be? We love you no matter what,” he kindly murmurs. “Really and truly.” He gestures towards the door. 

“I’m worried about Mama’s reaction in particular,” she adds, biting her lip.

“Let me handle your mother.” A smile tugs at his mouth. “I know she has… a flair for the dramatic at times, but… she would rather hear difficult news than have it kept secret from her, especially when it’s concerning our treasured eldest daughter. Have some faith. We care about you so much and want what is best for you.”

“That’s what I am worried about,” she whispers to herself as she follows him out of the greenhouse.

Notes:

Merry Christmas, friends! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. My goal is to get at least one more posted before the end of Winter Break.

If you have any feedback, questions, random thoughts, etc., please feel free to leave a comment!