Archive of Our Own ^beta

"I personally think you're doing this for your own sick amusement, Helvar," Nina groaned as she yanked the covers from his grasp to pull them over her head.

"What amusement would depriving you of sleep bring me?" he questioned as he reached to pull the blanket down so that he could at least see her face.

"Apparently, enough to be keeping me from it right at this very moment!" she retorted, though she refrained from the urge to pull the blanket right back over her face.

"Do you really intend to stay in bed all day?"

"Perhaps not all day, but five more minutes at least," Nina muttered as she turned her back to the current source of her annoyance. She's beginning to question why she let herself be smitten by an early bird. Why couldn't he be a night owl? Granted, they were supposedly crows if she wanted to appease Kaz--- though she couldn't think of a single reason as to why she'd ever want to do that actually--- so night owl it is.

"You need to get up, my love," he pressed, though his tone held a level of mirth to it as he went to tug her blanket off her once again. He was quickly met with a hand jutting up in the air to stop him as she peered over her shoulder with narrowed eyes but hardly the level of hostility she intended. It was hard to pull the proper amount when it came to him. He made her far too soft.

"Listen, I know you have never even contemplated the thought of relaxing in your rigid, boring Fjerdan life, but we're not on anyone's schedule except our own for once---And my schedule doesn't foresee me getting up for at least another fifteen minutes." To emphasize her point, she turned her head and rested it comfortably back onto her pillow.

"You said five before."

"My schedule's quite flexible as it were."

"Nina," he pressed, his tone slightly more stern than before but not quite as much as she knew he had intended it to be. It seems he also shared the same woe she possessed. He was awfully soft for her too. Some soldiers they were.

"Matthias," she countered with a lilt to her tone as she finally turned herself towards him, though she made sure to keep her blanket securely around her lest he get any ideas. She batted her eyelashes in an attempt to weaken his resolve further.

He let out a sigh that was soon replaced with a soft smile as he lifted his hand to let his fingers graze across her cheek, "If you sleep any longer, you may miss breakfast. Are you sure you are willing to miss out on waffles?" he asked, his hand now resting on her cheek as he slowly rubbed his thumb along it.

Nina furrowed her brows, "Waffles are an all day food," she quipped as she squinted her eyes slightly, lips playfully pursed as her hand slid out from under the covers to rest atop the hand upon her cheek, "And are you trying to bribe me using my greatest weakness, Matthias Helvar? Careful, you'll start sounding like Kaz."

Matthias huffed as his hand dropped from her cheek, though Nina simply caught it and intertwined his fingers with her own. "Do not compare me to the demjin, Nina. I am just appealing to your interest. It is something you would do as well."

She feigned a gasp that was soon followed by a put-on grimace, "That sounds an awful lot like you're insinuating I am like Kaz, Matthias."

"Neither of us are like him," he said with finality, though not with the same contempt he would have said it with when he had first met Kaz Brekker. She wouldn't press it further.

"Well, it seems we can find at least one thing to agree this morning."

"It's been five minutes, my love."

"Five minutes entirely composed of bickering and not a single bit of rest."

He responded with a look that assured her he was very much done with this back and forth. She sighed as she made moves to finally start sitting up though her hand remained intertwined with his.

"Fine, fine, you brute, I'll get up," she watched as his shoulders seem to slowly sag in relief, something he would quickly find to be a mistake as she used the hand intertwined with her own to pull him towards the bed. She had to give him credit, despite his large build he was able to deftly avoid smothering her and managed to land himself to his side of the bed. Before he had much chance to react, she took the opportunity to cozy up to his side, her chin resting on his chest as she looked up to him with a grin. "--- I'll get up when I have my remaining ten minutes."

He stares at her with a small, barely there frown as a silent war seemed to be waged between the two before he lets out a sigh that signaled her victory. His frown disappeared and her grin manifest into a pleased smile. Matthias maneuvered the arm currently under her so that he could wrap it around her waist, his other hand lifting towards her head again to move strands of hair that have fallen in her face due to her sneaky tactic. He doesn't say anything after, just looks at her as a smile sits on his lips. Nina stays a moment smiling right back at him before she lays her head down on his chest, pleased to be able to hear his familiar heartbeat against her ear.

For a few moment, it's quiet--- a contented quiet and Nina feels at ease as the thumb of the hand resting on her waist moves slowly up and down. It's only just for a few moments, though. He seemed intent on not letting her be lulled too much.

"Please don't really fall asleep, my love. Just the ten minutes, okay?"

Matthias' tone has a melancholy to it--- it unnerves her but she's too afraid to acknowledge it. She's too afraid to even acknowledge that she fears it. Not aloud. Not to him, at least. "....Of course, just ten minutes. It's what I said, isn't it?"

"It is. I just want to make sure you get up. You know we have a morning ahead of us."

"....I know, Matthias, I know."

She hadn't meant to lie. She had wanted it to be just the ten minutes, she had fought for it, but the next time her eyes fluttered open it was to the chattering of her teeth and not the rhythm of his heartbeat. Her body only had the familiarity of Fjerdan furs that barely managed to keep her from freezing over even in the inn. He wasn't there to warm her and she was cold once again.

She shouldn't have returned to this specific port without him, she should've known without him she would be cold here, but she couldn't help herself.

Even last night, she had chased a memory from long ago to that forsaken hut in order to fall asleep--- to the beginning, one she didn't know would come to such a quick end.

It had lulled her to sleep, into a dream that gave her a false start to this day, and now she wished more than ever that she had gotten out of bed when he had asked her in that version of this morning. She and Matthias could have gotten ready for the day with each other. They could have had breakfast together again. She could have stolen a kiss or two before they departed from their room. The world could have been alright for a little longer.

Instead, she would get ready alone, eat alone, and long for the same kiss she had longed for many times before. He hadn't been wrong in that dream though, they both did have a morning ahead of them--- one she wasn't really prepared for yet.

She wanted to go back to sleep. Would he be holding her like he had before she had woken up? Or would the dream start all over again so that she had the chance to make a better choice? If she went back to sleep now, chased the dream instead of a memory, maybe she could do just that--- but she wouldn't. She had made a promise in that dream and she had made an even more important one before.

She would honor both. She would lay here for ten minutes more, then she would lay him to rest.

And, perhaps when she went to sleep again tonight she'd get to meet him again--- If only for fifteen minutes.