Archive of Our Own ^beta

-Aziraphale was panting, like he had been running for his life. He probably had. His jacket was wrinkeled and dirty, his bowtie only losely draped around his neck.

There was blood on his vest.

Crowley couldn’t really do anything but stare, mouth half open, one hand still on the door handle, the other floating mid-air.

Jesus 2.0 was crying uncontrolably and it did nothing to help him rearrange his thoughts. After about 10 second he did realize that they had been staring at each other for quiet a while, though, so he should probably say something.

“Fine, how are you?” He finally settled on. Aziraphale looked at him incredulously. “Been focussing on myself a lot really. They call it a journey of selfdiscovery”

“Crowley-”

“Anyway, bye.” He said as he closed the door.

When he heard a muffled “Crowley!” From ouside, he opened the door again.

“Yes?”

“For heaven- for Christ- Would you please let me in!”

“What?” Then it dawned upon him that Aziraphale had left the bookshop. Right after he - no, that memory hurt hurt hurt. Focus! Aziraphale had left the bookshop, which meant it was no longer his. He had to be invited in.

“Oh! Uhm. Sure, what do you want to come in for? I got tea and -“

Aziraphale frowned, then glanced down at “The End Of The Earth Chapter 2” in his arms and back up at him.

“Oh, right, come on in.” He said, side stepping to let the angel enter.

Aziraphale quickly made his way in, his eyes darting around the room frantically.

“Is anyone here?”

“Yeah, Muriel’s upstai- do you mind if I sober up for a second?”

“Wha-Yes, dear b- Of course, do whatever you need to d- Crowley, it’s two in the aftern- never mind, okay.”

As Crowley pushed the alcohol out of his veines, the angel frantically started closing all the curtains in the bookshop.

Crowley blinked, as reality started to settle back in. The first wave of grief hit him like a bus. The second wave of anger was duller than it had been in the last couple of months, but it stung nontheless. The next wave of panic was like being drowned at low tide.

“Aziraphale”, he said, slowly turning around “what the absolute fuck happened?”

The angel looked at him with big eyes, as if it was only now dawning what he had gotten himself into.

“Why are you here, after all these months, with a bloody baby. What. Happened.”

Aziraphale looked at him desperately. “I- I couldn’t let them- they were about to… so, I stole her.” He held out ‘The Truely Righteous One”, as if it would offer an explanation.

Crowley looked him up and down, finally really taking in how much his angel was shaking. His heart stopped for a second.

“Did they hurt you, are you okay?”

Aziraphale nodded and he felt like he could breathe again. “Alright, then sit down. Fuck, whose blood is that?”

“Michael’s.” The angel croaked sitting down on the sofa. “But it’s okay. They can’t find us, as long as I-“

The angel jumped up again once he noticed one of the curtains in the shop was still left unclosed.

Had he mentioned that the child was still crying? Because it was. Loudly.

Crowly pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a migraine coming up. “What-what are you doing?”

“Making sure nobody sees us.”

He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. “You’re going to hide from heaven by closing the curtains?”

“I performed a miracle.” The angel muttered, not bothering to look up. Crowley’s eyebrows shot up. “A miracle?”

“They won’t find her.”

“You really think you can hide from all of heaven?”

“They gave me more access with the promotion.” Aziraphale reminded him.

Oh yeah, memories that made him feel as if he had been impaled.

“All of heaven, really?”

Aziraphale grimaced, suddenly looking self-conscious. “Absolute idiots for giving one person that much influence.”

“Agreed.”

Crowley looked down at the still crying kid in Aziraphale’s arms. “That’s her, isn’t it?” He said softly.

Aziraphale nodded. The child was wailing at this point and the angel winced. For a second he looked at the demon hopefully, slightly extending his arms.

“Oh no, absolutely not.”

Aziraphale pouted just a little, carefully placing the child back against his chest, where it kept fussing and trying very hard to destroy their eardrums.

Crowley briefly wondered if torturing himself along with Aziraphale was really worth it. But then he looked at the angel, his angel, unharmed and back in his life without so much as a call and his jaw clenched almost automatically.

“Why did you bring the child here? What happened?” He tried again, his voice sharper than he wanted it to be.

Aziraphale took in a sharp breath, adjusting the blanket around the baby, before finally sitting down in the chair again.

“Aziraphale…”

“It-it happened so fast.” The angel whispered, looking down at the child with frightened eyes. “I- they- they- It was aweful, they were planning the Second Coming and I thought I could stop them”

Bombshell

“But it all went horribly wrong and-“ the angel’s voice broke. “Oh Crowley, they were going to erase you.”

Bombshell

“And I lost. I tried so hard Crowley, I swear. But the Metatron, he knew and I couldn’t- I couldn’t stop them. And then-“ he made a choking sound. “and then they told me to choose between you or earth and- and I didn’t know what to do so I - oh God, I took her and I just ran.”

He was too sober for this, he decided. He looked at Aziraphale, the idiot who was also the smartest person he knew, trying to come up with something to say that wouldn’t shatter him. Eventually he decided on “for fuck’s sake give me that.” Aziraphale threw him a greatful look as he handed ‘The One And Only Offspring Of God’s Sibling’ over to him. Crowley took the child into his arms, carefully adjusting the blanket before gently rocking her.

“Yeah, you’ve been extremely annoying, but we both know this isn’t your fault, now is it.” The demon coed. “Big mean angel stole you from your crib, didn’t he?”

Aziraphale huffed. Crowley had always had a way with kids he had almost envied him for (had he not been overwhelmingly enamoured by it - no, stop those feelings hurt hurt hurt!). Within minutes the child stopped crying.

“That’s what I thought.” Crowly murmured. The smile on his face then slowly faded when the kid fell asleep. “What are we going to do with you?”

Aziraphale clenched his jaw, casting his eyes down once again.

“I’m supposing becoming godfather’s is not our plan this time around?” He asked, looking up at Aziraphale for confirmation.

The angel shook his head, his eyes misty. “They were going to drop her at an orphanage this time.”

“Of course”, Crowley said softly, gently pulling the blanket over the child’s sleeping frame. “I suppose it’s a test again?”

“What?”

“Baby Jesus here. To see whether they’ll kill her this time or not.”

Aziraphale gave him a tight nod.

Crowley felt sick. “And if they fail…”

“The Rapture.” Aziraphale whispered, his face an alarming shade of green.

Crowley looked at his angel and then back to the sleeping baby in his arms. “We really do have the worst mother, don’t we.” He mumbled almost inaudibly.

Aziraphale opened his mouth, as if he was about to protest. Then he shut it again.

“What do we do?”

“We could-” Aziraphale’s voice sounded cold.

Crowley looked up, realization dawning slowly at what the angel was proposing.

“It might be kinder.” The angel said. His eyes were bluer than they usually were. So blue that he found it difficult to keep his gaze. “It would be painless. She wouldn’t even feel it.”

The demon took a step backwards, subconsciously clutching the child closer to him. It broke the spell and  Aziraphale seemed to come to his senses again.

“You’ve been up there too long.” Crowly murmured. He felt something resembling nausea, only it was much worse.

“I’m so sorry” the angel whispered, barely audible. Aziraphale, to his credit, did look horrified, so Crowley decided not to persue it. For now.

The demon shook his head. “What are we gonne do?”

“Maybe they’ll leave her alone, this ti-“

A look from Crowley made him stop and then let out a defeated sigh. “Yeah, I know, I know.”

Crowley could feel it too. The love and peace the girl eminated just breathing in her sleep. It would enrage people to no end. She didn’t stand a chance.

“So, what now?” Crowley muttered. “Can’t keep her, can’t leave her. We’re fucked.”

“What do you mean; you can’t keep her?” Muriel’s voice drifted into the room.