Chapter Text
“Hey kid”, former detective of Miami-Dade John Hagen said striding towards the young man who had the minute he had met him, the minute Ray had started speaking about him, become his unofficial nephew.
“Uncle John”, Eric exclaimed as he caught sight of yet another dead person in his hospital room.
“It’s good, even great to see you again but…”, Hagen trailed off when Eric glared
“You need me to go back”
“Hm, hm. Yes”, Hagen said amused. Then Eric’s face softened and… “No. I’m not letting you do this. Not again. Because trust me when I say my death, it wasn’t your fault. I chose to go because I lost Marisol and I thought I had lost Ray”
“But if I had just… just not been so selfish… if I could’ve seen how much pain you were in…”
“Don’t son”, Hagen said in a choking whisper as he hugged Eric. “Trust me when I say you are the most unselfish person I’ve ever known Eric Delko. Do you have any idea how much you made my life worth living when you chose to adopt me as your uncle even when Ray was gone? I was the one selfish Eric. I killed myself when I could’ve, should’ve lived for you but… I… I couldn’t stand the pain back then”
“I never blamed you Uncle John, never, not for leaving the way you did. That was my fault. I got Marisol shot. I got her killed. They were there for Horatio’s family and if I had let you guys go. If I had let Mari go and let her be a Delko instead of…” John’s slap made him pause in shock. Ghost or not that had actually hurt
“How dare you insult her like that? Do you have any idea of how much your sisters love you? Let her be a Delko… Who the hell are you then?”, he trailed off his anger too much for a moment before he ran a hand through his hair trying to calm himself down. “Please don’t say that again Eric because alive or dead Marisol would hate hearing that”
“I’m sorry”, Eric whispered. “I’m so sorry”
“Don’t apologise Eric. Just fight. Just fight to live again”
“Whoa where’s the fire kid?”, Detective John Hagen exclaimed as he caught the backpack of the teenager who had almost crashed into him. It was then that he caught sight of the curls. “You must be Eric”, he said amused
“Sorry I didn’t mean to…”, Eric began warily before he realized he’d been addressed by name. “How do you…?”
“John Hagen. That’s Detective John Hagen. I’m Ray Caine’s partner”. Eric shook Hagen’s outstretched hand but that still didn’t tell him… “Let me guess, you don’t know Ray’s got your picture on his desk do you?” That startled him.
“He does?”
“He does”, Hagen confirmed. “He can’t shut up about you actually. The way he goes on and on about how smart you are and how many medals you’ve won in swim meets, you’d think he was your dad, instead of Horatio”. The minute Horatio’s name left his mouth Eric looked down at the ground and Hagen cursed himself. The partners were of course close and Ray had already told him of the difficulties Eric and Horatio were having and yet he’d been stupid enough to mention the redhead by name. “You here to see your uncle?”, he asked just to break the uncomfortable silence but knew he’d have been shocked had the teen been here to see Horatio
“Um no”, Eric said with a very small smile. “I wanted to see Speed”
“Wait Speedle of the Crime Lab. That’s Tim Speedle, the trace expert right?”
“I don’t know which department he works in”, Eric said automatically wondering what was wrong
Hagen chuckled amused again. “Speed’s not a people person”, he explained when Eric shot him a look. “This I gotta see”. Eric muttered something about Ray Caine’s partner being just as annoying as Ray and he mock-swatted the teen on the back of the head. “Watch it with the insults. I gotta reputation as a tough guy to protect”. That finally earned him a laugh
Eric fairly drooled when they reached the crime lab. From what little he could see this was a nerd’s paradise. Hagen’s groan had him raise an eyebrow. “You’re another science geek like Ray’s brother aren’t you?”
“He isn’t a geek John, that kid’s way smart”
“Hey uncle Ray”, Eric said and Ray’s heart melted when Eric called him uncle for the first time ever. “You’ve gotta weird smile on your face”
Ray knew better than to turn this serious. “What I’m just smiling at the fact that my favorite nephew’s come to see me”
“I’m your only nephew”, Eric retorted dryly. “Is Speed…”. He stopped when the elevator doors opened and Ray and Hagen understood. Sure enough Horatio strode towards them Al in tow looking concerned
“Eric, is everything…”
Hagen had for once been quicker and dragged Speed out. “Kid?”, Speed asked as well
“I did it”, Eric said enthusiastically the minute he heard Speed’s voice, his normal reticence around Horatio vanishing.
“Did what?”, Speed asked confused before he understood. He held out his hand with a smirk then scowled when Eric made a show of searching his bag before he handed Speed the sheet of paper. “B- not bad”
“Not bad”, Eric exclaimed. “I’ve been getting Fs the whole time. B- is great”. The adults even Horatio and Al laughed at his complaint
“Where’s my ice cream then?”
“Hey wait how come only Speed gets a treat”, Ray protested childishly. “I like ice cream too you know”
“He’s the reason I got the B-”, Eric said with an eye-roll
“Well I can’t help you get good grades in biology but if you did wanna impress your friends by learning to fire a gun I can…”
“Ray”
“Detective”
“C’mon idiot…”
Speed’s eyes had been fixed on Eric as had Ray’s and they ignored the others when the teen began shaking. “I don’t wanna… Speed I don’t wanna…”, Eric said latching on to Speed just like he had at the house.
“It’s ok kiddo”, Speed said automatically before he remembered Horatio’s confession. If Pablo had used him as a shield…. The kid had to hate guns. “Hey”, he said taking care to keep his movements gentle. “How about you and me we go get that ice cream in a few huh?”, he suggested as a distraction because they were beginning to attract attention from the lab-techs and Megan was going to come out any minute as was Alexx and the last thing Eric needed was a lot of well-intentioned questions
“We can?”, Eric asked dazedly
“Yeah kiddo”
“K”, he mumbled. “Do you gotta do something ’fore you leave?”, he added tiredly lowering his head refusing to show Horatio his tears
Speed hesitated. “Five minutes”. Eric gave him an absent-minded nod.
“Eric can keep me company till then”, Hagen said and both Speed and Ray shot him grateful looks. He dragged the teen to the lab’s break room. “Heard you like coffee kid. I’ll buy you a cup”
“You did something else”, Ray accused Horatio when it was only Al within hearing range. “Don’t bother”, he added tone clipped. “You’re already down four months”. He followed Hagen leaving a tired father behind
“Thought every kid liked sugar”, Speed said when Eric stared at the calm sea, ice cream forgotten and melting through his fingers. He sighed and grabbed the cone. “Here”, he said when Eric startled and handed him a tissue.
“Sorry”, Eric mumbled embarrassed. “Didn’t… sorry… wasted the ice cream”
“Yeah that’s what I’m worried about”, Speed said dryly. “The few bucks I paid for the cone going waste”. Eric managed a weak chuckle. “You all right”
A shrugged shoulder was his answer. “I… I’m sorry I freak out a lot”
“Eric look at me”, Speed ordered firmly and Eric obeyed after a momentary hesitation. “What was his name? Your godfather? What was his name”
“Sgt. Caine told you”.
“H did yeah”. He almost chuckled when Eric looked betrayed at the nickname. “He said he…”
“He shot Pablo.”
“He had no choice kid, you know that”
“Pablo wouldn’ta hurt me. He was my dad’s best friend. He was my uncle. He loved me”
“I’m so sorry you had to see that Eric”, Speed said quietly but Eric shook his head. “I’m tired of people apologizing to me when Uncle Pablo was the one who died. I got him killed Speed”
The trace expert couldn’t help but gape for a second. “Pablo and Horatio did what they did Eric, how the hell are you responsible?”
“You don’t get it do you? Pablo told me if dad had killed me when he had the chance none of this would’ve ever happened. Don’t you see the only reason Horatio came for my dad that day was cos I was alive. If I was dead he wouldn’t have any reason to look for me”, Eric argued with the reasoning of a hurt fourteen year old.
“I don’t care what anyone told you kid, you being alive is not the reason your godfather’s dead and your dad’s in prison”, Speed said vehemently. “If you were…”. He stopped not even wanting to contemplate the thought. “I may not be a parent Eric but from what I do know, your dad if he loved you as much as I can see he did, he’d hate hearing this”
“He’s in jail cos he loved me so much Speed, how is that right? If he had hated me… If I was dead… I wish I were dead so my family could be whole again”, he said softly. Speed’s own eyes became watery for a moment at the pain he could see in those brown orbs
“Speed where’s Eric?”, a panicked Horatio asked on seeing him alone. Speed in answer pointed to the car he’d had to borrow from Alexx when Eric had fallen asleep around him; again. He wondered if he was that boring, but knew deep down it was because the teen felt safe around him to express his true emotions, and his true emotions seemed to bring him nothing but exhaustion. “Is he ok Speed?”, Horatio asked worried and he resisted the urge to scoff. As much as he wanted to blame Horatio he knew the situation wasn’t that simple
“I can carry him to his room”, he said in answer not willing to betray the teen’s trust even if he knew he needed to get Eric to talk to someone about his mental state. Speed hadn’t been comfortable in the suicidal ideations he’d read in the teen’s words.
He carried the slim teen out bridal style without managing to wake him, knowing if Eric were just a couple of years older this would be impossible. As it was the kid he would bet barely weighed a hundred pounds now. Gently placing the now slightly restless teen on the bed, Speed ran a hand through his curls trying to get him to relax. “Tim”, Eric said and he smiled. “Yeah kiddo, it’s me”. Eric searched for the hand wandering through his hair. Catching it he then gripped it with a soft smile. “Stay”, he mumbled.
“Till you fall asleep again”
“Ms. Delko”, Horatio said surprised to see Clara Delko then held the door open with a resigned sigh. He knew if he refused to let her see Eric no matter when she turned up the teen would only hate him more than he did now and considering Eric had spoken barely two words to him not tinged with anger he had no intentions of rocking the already leaking boat. “Eric’s out back”, he said pointing to the beach but Clara pushed past him. “C’mon in”, he muttered to himself frustrated
Clara ignored Horatio and followed the very familiar laughter – laughter she’d been sure she’d never hear again – to the beach and the blanket with the books spread out. Her eyes were fixed on her baby brother who had that huge goofy grin she loved seeing. He seemed to be talking to another dark-haired young man who looked barely out of his teens. This must be the famous Speed she realized as Speed turned Eric’s attention to the text.
“Eric”, she said and Eric’s head snapped to her and a smile once again lit up his face. “Clara”, he exclaimed reaching her in a few strides and almost slammed into her. “What’re you doing here? Where’s Marisol?”
“I’m here cos I missed my baby brother so much. And Marisol has some things to take care of so you have to be content with just me. Who’s that?” Eric dragged her onto the sand to introduce her and her suspicions were confirmed. “Nice to meet you Ms. Delko”, Speed said politely shaking her hand. “Put your books away and spend time with your sister kid. I’ll catch you tomorrow”
But Clara was already shaking her head. “It’s fine Officer Speedle, I can come back. I mean I don’t wanna spoil his study session. Eric’s told me how much they’ve helped him”
“You work tomorrow”, Eric added knowing Speed was already sacrificing a lot of his personal time for him.
“Yeah so?”, Speed asked pretending to flick his nose making him whine. “It’s my call kiddo”, he said seriously, “And I wanna be here. Now unless you’re scared of losing another bet…”
“Speeedd”
Speed laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow ok kid?” Eric nodded
He found Horatio puttering around in the kitchen a look of pain on his face. Speed sighed knowing none of this could’ve been easy on the redhead either but as much as he wanted to sympathise he knew he couldn’t put Horatio’s feelings first. For some reason Eric had chosen to trust him and he’d be damned if he let the teen down. Horatio noticed him and sported a fake smile; a smile which dropped when Speed snorted. “I’m gonna head out. Kid’s mind’s on something other than his books”
“Yeah sure”, Horatio said clearing his throat.
“I’m really sorry about what you’ve had to go through Horatio”, Speed said suddenly. Just because he knew he’d put Eric first didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate Horatio’s position
“So am I Speed”, was all Horatio said in response to that. “So am I”