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Fabian was staying at Mordred. Again.
He wasn't hiding, like Jawbone had implied the first few times he'd stayed there, or running away from something like Riz had asked. He was just staying with his friends.
If his friends happened to be a half hour away from his mama and new baby sister, well shucks.
It's not like Fabian hated his sister. No! She was...perfectly fine! She was only a few months old, after all, and you can't have beef with an infant.
This feeling in his gut was just anxiety. Anxiety for his sister, not because of her. Aelwyn had commiserated when he confided in her about it. It was normal for big siblings.
Anxiety. That's all it was.
He had been training much harder since she was born, but that was just a coincidence. A desire to become stronger for his senior year.
That's why he had been busting his ass to get A's and bragging about them. After all, good grades got good colleges, right?
It was probably a result of Jawbone seeping into his head. After all, when you're staying at someone's house every other week, their dad tends to worm their way into your head.
Fabian was pondering over this as he and Riz (who had wanted to study with Adaine but got sidetracked when he saw Fabian practicing with his crossbow) sparred in the cemetary that was on Mordreds grounds.
Riz was getting better, he had to admit. Their sparring matches started to feel actually tiring since Riz had convinced the Ms. Shadow to tutor him (under the conditions that he'd have to find her every time, which he'd gotten scary good at as well). Fabian was happy for it, especially when the others decided to watch with popcorn and heckles, a true performance his parents with be proud of.
Not that his mother ever watched his spars. No, she was always too busy with her precious baby Harmonia.
Not that he was jealous.
Riz misty stepped behind Fabian, sweeping his legs out from under him, an act that he normally would've dodged if he wasn't so deep in thought, basically running on autopilot for most of the spar. Riz kicked Fabian's sword away and scooped up his battle sheet, pointing the Sword of Shadows at his throat
"I win."
Fabian pushed up onto his elbows with a good natured chuckle. "Is there any way you can defeat me that doesn't end with me on the ground?"
Riz gave an almost feral grin and tossed him back his battle sheet. "Yeah, but it's more fun like this."
Fabian rolled his eyes. "At least have the honor to help me up, The Ball?" He held out his hand.
Riz grabbed his hand and was immediately tugged down to the ground by Fabian, who laughed at his plight.
"Not very honorable at all!" Riz exclaimed, trying to hold back his giggles.
Fabian got himself up, helping Riz up (despite Riz's attempts to also pull Fabian down) and retrieving his sword, hooking it back at his side. "We should watch a movie, I hear there's a new really bad spy one on Fantasy Netflix?" Fabian offered.
"Sorry, but I came here to study and Adaine will kill you if I blow off a study session to hang out with you again," Riz said before brushing himself off and walking back towards the house. "Maybe later though!" He waved his goodbye and climbed the raingutter straight to Adaine's room.
He felt a slight pang of something as Riz walked away.
Fabian sighed and pulled out his crystal, sending a quick warning to Adaine before trudging back into the house. He walked into the living room, fully prepared to flop down on the couch and probably nap for the next few hours-
-And promptly ran face first into Fig.
His first thought was fucking ow.
His second thought was why is she here.
It was a thought he was ashamed to say he had been having more and more often lately. He didn't feel good about it, he loved Fig, Fig was his sister, but ever since Harmonia had been born in October, Fig had spent the past few months usually floating between his house and her domain, having a lot of free time on her hands since she dropped out (and managed to convince Ayda to convince her dad to stop hunting her). Now half of her time was spent either gushing over Harmonia or taking care of Harmonia when Hallariel and Gilear wanted some alone time. Which wasn't very often, considering Hallariel seemed perfectly content with her new baby most of the time, and Gilear spent a good amount of his alone time with Fig.
Fabian's mom never did that. After all, Fabian was always too busy training or studying or at school or a million other things that meant his mom wasn't spending time with him.
It was fine. All of it was fine.
But he had started to think of Mordred as his space, a space for when he didn't particularly want to be near his family. He hadn't realized for a while that that included Fig as well.
Like he said, it didn't make him feel good.
"Oh, Fabian, I didn't realize you were here!" Fig exclaimed, rubbing her head with a grin still on her face. "You have to look at these pics your mom just sent me, Nia is just the cutest!"
He tilted his head in confusion for a second before realizing that she probably meant Harmonia. He guessed Nia was a fair nickname for her.
"I think I'm good, chances are they've already been sent to me," Fabian pointed out, walking around Fig to reach the couch.
"But look at her!" And Fig was already shoving her phone in his face, a sleeping picture of Harmonia inches away from him.
Harmonia was a cute baby, he had to admit. She had the same eyes as him (though you couldn't see them at the moment), and the same ears as well, down to the little wave before the point. Her hair was radiant and flowy just like their mama's, and even the parts she'd gotten from Gilear were adorable.
Hallariel would gush over her little girl any chance she got, a far cry from when Fabian was born, at least according to videos Cathilda had taken (she had, multiple times, commented on how icky babies are when holding him before handing him back to Cathilda and downing another goblet of wine).
It didn't bother him. It didn't.
Fabian responded with a hum of appreciation before flicking on the tv to the newest Keeping Up With The Kelmps episode, Fabian's favorite reality show. Everybody was so bitchy, it was great fun. Fabian had taken to watching it with Aelwyn whenever the two were in the house unoccupied.
Fig was pouting for some reason when Fabian looked back at her.
"What?"
"Do you not like Harmonia?"
Fabian rolled his eyes. "No, of course I like Harmonia, why would I-"
"Every time I talk about her you seem to tune out, you seem annoyed any time I show you pictures, she's three months old and you've only taken care of her twice, and basically every time I come looking for you you're here instead of at home." Fig rambled.
Fabian scoffed. "First of all, I listen, second of all, I've just seen a million pictures of her a million times, third of all, I'm a busy man, and fourth of all, I'm not here that much, you're exaggerating."
Fig huffed. "You're here often enough that Jawbone is considering assigning you a room, so no, I'm not exaggerating."
Fabian lifted an eyebrow. He didn't think he was here often enough for his own room.
"I love Harmonia. She's my sister. She's my flesh and blood. Of course I love her."
Fig looked skeptical.
Fabian scoffed. "I'm not just going to sit around and be interrogated about my sister, I'm going to go see if Kristen's around," he declared, getting up and walking away.
"Is it about Gilear?"
Fabian stopped and turned around to see Fig glaring at him. "What?"
"Is it because she's Gilear's child?"
Fabian walked back over. "Of course not, you're Gilear child-"
"But it's different when it's your family, right?" Fig interrupted, her voice tense. "Can't have Gilear tainting the perfect Lomenelda family, can you? I mean, I thought you got over this already, but clearly-"
"It's not Gilear!" Fabian yelled, running his hands through his hair and barely resisting the urge to tug. How low did Fig think of him, truly? After all of his mama's threats and sharp words and swords to the throat, how could he not get over himself?
"Then literally what else could it be? Are you jealous or some shit?" Fig was yelling too now. "She's 3 months old, of course she needs attention!"
"I am not jealous! Hallariel is doing the best she can-"
"You mean your mother? Your own mother who you can't even called your mom because you're apparently so pissy over a goddamn baby?"
Fabian hadn't even realize how he had taken to calling his mama by her first name so often, even in his thoughts.
His papa would call him disrespectful. Ungrateful. She was his mother, and he couldn't even say that.
Fabian took a deep breath, trying not to seethe. "Mama has nothing to do with this. I'm aware that the baby needs attention. I'm perfectly fine with the baby. I am not "pissy" about the baby, but what I am pissy about, is you making all these accusations about me. I love my sister."
Fig scoffed and turned back to the tv. "Fucking fine. Have fun believing that."
Fabian walked away, out of Mordred and into the cemetery. He didn't know where he was going, he just needed to be away from Fig.
Who did she think she was? Grilling him like that, making all of these accusations.
He loved Hallari-mama. He cared for Gilear, surprisingly. He loved his sisters. Anything else would be a disgrace to his character, and Fabian was anything but a disgrace.
He ended up at the farthest edge of the cemetery, a little hill that allowed him to look at all of Mordred. He could see the lights on in Adaine's room, practically hearing the manic pencil scribbling and annoyed spellcasting coming from the two nerds. He saw Zayn sitting on the roof, blasting presumably EDM from his stereo. He saw all of the little things in the house that he had grown so accustomed to. The things that made Mordred a home.
Fabian sat down against a tree, pulling out his crystal and putting it on do not disturb, sending Riz a warning text so that he didn't get concerned.
It was stupid, really, that a single fight with his stepsister could make him feel this shitty.
Even stupider when he saw Jawbone walking out into the cemetery and his first instinct was to hide.
Fuck he was about to get yelled at wasn't he. Fig had probably told him everything and well, Jawbone was her stepdad, of course he'd take her side.
Fabian really didn't feel like getting yelled at.
He slipped around the tree so that he was facing the gate and held his breath. He heard Jawbones footsteps getting closer.
"Fabian? Kiddo?"
He stayed silent. Jawbone was nice, most of the time, but he could also lecture like nobody else.
"I just wanna talk. I heard you and Fig yelling."
Fabian crossed his arms and dug his nails into his jacket. Of fucking course he heard, they were yelling, he was an idiot for thinking Jawbone wouldn't hear.
"You're not in trouble, okay?"
Like he hadn't heard that lie before.
"I can't make you talk, but I just want to make sure you're okay."
Fabian let out a scoff.
The footsteps stopped.
Fuck, he just gave himself away didn't he.
He could hear Jawbone jog over to the tree, goddamn werewolf senses, and quickly straightened himself out, trying to look bored.
Jawbone sat down in front of Fabian.
"Hey there kiddo. You doing alright?"
Fuck he hated this. He hated the fake concern, he hated the acting, he hated the waiting for the yelling or the sword to his throat or the extra hours of training, he hated it.
"I'm fine."
"You wanna talk about it?"
No, he really didn't.
Fabian shrugged. "Not much to talk about."
Jawbone reached out a hand and Fabian held back a flinch. The hand landed gently on his shoulder.
"You sure about that? Because that fight seemed kind of nasty." Jawbones voice dripped with concern, and all Fabian could think was that he was really laying it on thick right now, he had to be in a lot of trouble.
"Look, I know I was wrong or some shit, okay? I won't do it again," he assured him, shrugging the hand off of his shoulder.
Fabian saw Jawbones gaze soften out of the corner of his eye. "Kiddo, you're not trouble-"
"Bullshit," he bit out, immediately regretting it. God, he was just digging the hole even deeper, why couldn't he just shut his mouth?
He tried to scoot back and create a little more distance between him and Jawbone, but his back was already against the tree.
Jawbone was frowning.
"Fabian, neither of you are in the wrong right now, okay?"
Fabian rolled his eyes. "Sure."
"I mean it. You both said stuff-"
"She accused me of not loving my sister, of course I said stuff!" Fabian pointed out.
"I understand you felt attacked, and it's perfectly normal to be defensive over something like that, but we should talk about what was said." Jawbones eyes held what might have been genuine concern, but Fabian was still avoiding meeting them, so he had no way of knowing.
"And by talk you mean you yell at me for an hour and then go hug your child, yeah, I get it, just get on with it," Fabian blurted out.
Jawbone looked genuinely taken aback.
"Kiddo, I'm not going to yell at you. I don't know how to convince you that you're not in trouble, but you aren't." He put a hand on Fabian's knee and Fabian just stared at it, trying to guess its next movements. "Yes, Fig is my stepdaughter, that doesn't mean I'm taking her side in this. She said some shit that probably hurt, and that's not okay. Your feelings matter too."
Fabian wanted to leave, wanted to go back to his house and hide in his room or go talk shit with Adaine or sink into the floor or do anything but be here. "My feelings are fine."
"So there's nothing up with Harmonia?"
Of fucking course it was about her. Everything had to be about her. Everyone fucking cared for and loved little baby Harmonia and he could just get fucked apparently.
Ok, maybe he was a little jealous.
"Can everybody just fuck off about Harmonia?"
Jawbone cocked his head, god it felt condescending. "What do you-"
"You know what I mean, ok, everybody fucking loves Harmonia and any sign of not loving her in the slightest is a crime against humanity and should burn in hell and she's just the perfect little child, I fucking get it."
Jawbone tried to move his hand to Fabian's arm.
"I don't need comfort, don't touch me."
Jawbone held his hands up in defense and sat back. "Ok, I should've asked first, that's my bad. It's clear a lot of very strong feelings are happening right now, I'm sorry for trying to do that without your permission."
Fabian scoffed again. He didn't need to be babied about not wanting to be touched right now, not when he was already being stupid about it in the first place.
"You know you matter just as much as Harmonia, right?"
Fabian whipped his head over to look at Jawbone. Jawbone's eyes were filled with sympathy, and Fabian got the feeling that he was trying to stare into Fabian's soul or some shit.
"I'm aware," Fabian forced out.
Jawbones eyebrows furrowed. "Harmonia is only a few months old. I know it feels like everyone cares about her more, but that won't last forever."
Fabian sighed. "Yeah, babies are hard fucking work, I should know."
Jawbone cocked his head to the side. "What does that mean?"
Fabian felt a blush spread across his cheeks and he drew his knees to his chest. "Well, I must've been a lot of work, right? I mean, you know how Halla-" he cut himself off for a second. "How mama was when I was little."
Jawbone's look of sympathy melted into concern. "What do you mean?"
Fabian shrugged and wrapped his arms around his knees, resting his head on them. "Well. Cathilda took care of me, mostly. Mama wasn't the most responsible mother in the world. She wasn't...I mean, I understand it was a lot, I was her first kid, she wasn't really prepared, I must've been a really difficult kid considering how much she drank, y'know?" He forced out a laugh.
Jawbones eyes widened a little bit at the last few words.
Shit, what the fuck was he saying, mama would kill him for this, he was gonna tell her and he would be in so much trouble and-
"Fabian."
Fabian was staring at the ground in front of him, refusing to meet Jawbones gaze.
"By drank, how much do you mean?"
Fabian shook his head a little bit. "I made it sound really bad, it really wasn't that much, just like 2 or 3 glasses of her elven wine a day, hell my dad drank more in an hour when he was partying and-"
He looked up accidentally and saw Jawbone staring at him with pity.
Pity.
Fabian wanted to sink into the ground and never come back.
"It wasn't that bad."
He hated how little his voice sounded.
He hated even more how little he believed himself.
"Please don't tell mama I said any of this."
He buried his face into his knees and closed his eyes.
"I won't tell anyone any of this if you don't want me to." Jawbone said in a concerned tone. "But I just want you to know something."
Fabian peeked up at him.
"It is not your fault that your mom was like that. It is not good that she was...not present for your entire childhood. It is okay to feel however you feel about that."
Fabian shook his head again.
"She didn't drink before I was born. Papa did, he was always like that, but she never drank like that before I was born. What is it about Harmonia that made her care this much? What..."
He hesitated, vaguely feeling tears forming in his eyes, trying to blink them back.
"What was it about me that made it so hard for her to care?"
He felt a tear run down his cheek, burying his head back in his knees. He vaguely felt Jawbones arms wrap around him, choking back a sob and they did.
"Fabian. You are not hard to love. Harmonia isn't any easier to love. It is not your fault."
Fabian rubbed at his eyes. "Why-"
"I don't know why your mother did the things she did. But I do know that it is not your fault."
Fabian lunged forward and hugged Jawbones, crying as quietly as he could into his shoulder.
"If you want to, I can drive over and grab some stuff for your room later today, and we can set up a nice room for you here, okay?"
Fabian nodded into Jawbones shoulder.
He hadn't realized how heavy the idea of having to eventually go back home hung above his head until it it was gone.
20 minutes later, Fabian finally calmed down, attempting to apologize profusely for, well, everything that had just happened, but Jawbone refused to accept it.
"You can apologize by agreeing to at least one full session with me, okay?"
Fabian rolled his eyes, but he agreed.
They went back to the house and Jawbone made Fabian sit on the counter while he made hot chocolate for the house.
Fabian was too exhausted to say much more than a one or two word answer, so Jawbone just talked about the drama between the teachers at Aguefort while Fabian listened (apparently Ms Lullaby was in love with the new barbarian teacher and the new sorcerer teacher was feuding with Ms Runestaff over whose students were better).
Afterwards he called all of the kids down to the watch movies and drink hot cocoa, except for Fig, who he had asked to help him with an "errand."
Fabian gave Jawbone full permission to tell Fig about the whole situation, as long of she didn't tell anyone who would tell his mom. She deserved to know at least some of what her stepmom was like, after all.
They immediately fought over what movie to watch, with Adaine and Ayda (who Fig was apparently supposed to be hanging out with earlier) wanting to watch 10 Things I Hate About You while Riz wanted to watch the movie Fabian had suggested earlier. Ragh sided with Adaine, and Kristen, after suggesting they watch the Children of the Corn for the millionth time, resulting in everyone throwing pillows at her head, sided with Riz on the basis of "not wanting to watch any heterosexual bullshit". Gorgug, who had been using the basement for experiments, volunteered to make the popcorn and voted on watching Adaine and Ayda's movie. Aelwyn said both sucked, but she sided with her sister anyways, and Bucky, who Kristen had apparently been tutoring, said he would watch whatever as long as everyone was happy.
The 9 of them (16 if you counted the cats, Boggy, and Moggy) curled up in about 15 million blankets and pillows and watched 10 Things I Hate About You, Kristen and Ragh performing the entirety of Can't Take My Eyes Off You when that scene happened, and Adaine crying at the ending while squeezing Boggy and insisting that she was not crying.
Fig got home a few minutes after they finished the movie, being forced to refill the popcorn because Riz insisted on watching the spy movie.
Fig asked Fabian to help, so he went with her.
He was about to say something when Fig wrapped him in a bear hug.
"I'm so sorry. I was so shitty. You didn't deserve any of that bullshit, I jumped to conclusions and I'm-"
"It's fine."
Fig pulled pack and smacked him on the arm lightly. "It's not. You had the right to be upset, I shouldn't have just yelled at you like that. I could've asked normally and I didn't and I'm sorry."
"If you keep saying sorry you're gonna sound like freshman year Adaine," Fabian forced a grin, which Fig returned.
"I mean, I know I don't wear my heart on my sleeve or anything but-"
"Oh my Cass, shut up, Just Fig." Fabian pushed her playfully and walked into the kitchen, grabbing and unwrapping a popcorn packet from the pantry.
He heard Fig sigh behind.
"Fabian, if you-"
"I don't want to talk about it. I didn't want anything with you guys to change. I just thought you deserved to know since she's your stepmom and everything. But I don't want you acting like I'm some kicked puppy. I'm still the same person."
Fig sat on the counter next to the microwave. "Okay."
Fabian tossed the packet into the microwave.
"That means I can still make fun of your blanket, right-hey!"
Fabian flicked water from the sink onto her face.
The two ended up running around the kitchen and wrestling until they had more hot cocoa and popcorn for the other children, returning with a victorious "huzzah!" From Fabian and Fig before settling back in to continue with their impromptu movie night, Fig cuddling a little bit closer to Fabian than usual, but nobody said anything.
It ended up being a nice night.