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“Can I get two flavours Pop-Pop?” Tali asks, peering up at her grandfather with wide eyes.
It’s the middle of August and the sun beats down onto the city, warm and inviting. It isn’t unbearably hot, like the past week in Paris had been, but it’s nowhere near cold enough to turn down ice cream (though, for the DiNozzo family, any time of year was appropriate for it, even if it was two degrees and you shivered with every other bite!)
“Oh, my girl, you can have any flavours you like!” he replies, smiling at her. “Just no more than two though, because your mom and dad won’t be impressed if you ruin your dinner.”
Tali nods, her eyes trailing over the selection of flavours in front of her: mint chocolate chip, peanut butter, banoffee, dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate, banana, coffee, cookies and cream, strawberry, vanilla, honey, almond, butterscotch, pecan pie, tiramisu, mocha, lavender, licorice, pumpkin, cinnamon, and a handful of others that intrigued her. There were too many choices! She turned to Senior, pensive. “Am I staying with you again tonight?” she asks.
Senior looks at her, shrugging lightly. “I don’t know, Bambino. That’s up to your mom and dad.”
They step up to the counter, Tali chooses one scoop of milk chocolate and one scoop of vanilla, Senior ordering the same. He hands over the money to the cashier and thanks the man as he prepared their orders. Several minutes later, he and Tali step outside with their small pots and spoons in hand, finding a small table in the corner - a relatively easy feat, as most customers take their ice creams to go.
“Grandpa?” Tali asks, turning to him. It must be serious if she is calling him anything other than Pop-Pop. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, Kiddo,” he nods.
“Why do I stay at yours so often? I love being with you and we have so much fun, but sometimes it feels like Ima and Abba forget about me.”
He puts down his pot of ice cream, and gestures for Tali to hop onto his lap, to which she obliges. She smiles as he squeezes her tight, hugging her.
“Oh, Tali…” he begins, “your mom and dad would never ever forget about you. You’re the most important thing in the world to them. But sometimes,” he pauses, thinking as to how best to phrase his answer, “sometimes they need to show how important they are to one another, too. Does that make sense?”
Tali shakes her head, slowly. His brows knit together and he purses his lips. How exactly did one explain the birds and the bees to a seven year old? She crawls back off his lap to sit in her own chair, taking a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. Senior sighs, thankful that they were the only ones sitting outside.
“Tali,” he raises his eyebrows, “have your mom and dad explained sex to you yet?” Tali cocks her head like a puppy, her brows in confusion. “I’ll take that as a no,” he mutters to himself. He licks a mouthful of ice cream off his own spoon.
“Alright, Kiddo,” he starts, “we’re going to have a very grown up conversation now. But you have to promise that unless your mom and dad ask, you won’t tell them that we’ve had this talk.”
“Why not?”
“Well, you know how you feel embarrassed and like everybody is looking at you when you fall over, and how you want to run away?” Tali nods. “Well, if Ima and Abba found out we’d had this conversation, they’d probably feel the same way, and we don’t want to make them upset or hurt their feelings, do we?” Tali shakes her head. “So, unless they ask, we keep this between us, alright?”
Tali nods again. “Alright, Pop-Pop.”
“Okay,” Senior says, taking a deep breath, “so, you know how when Ima was away… how much you missed her?” Tali nods. “Do you remember the hug you gave her when she finally came home? How you tightly squeezed her because you love her so much and didn’t want to let her go?”
“Mhmhmm,” Tali mumbles in agreement. “It was an extra special hug!”
“Well, when two adults love each other in the way your mom and dad do, sometimes they want to have their own extra special hug. Us grown ups call it ‘sex’ and it’s more special than a normal hug.”
“Like how?” she tilts her head to one side again, curious.
“Well, you know how your mom and dad kiss a lot, sometimes in front of you?”
Tali nods. “Yeah, it’s so gross.”
Senior laughs. “Well, sex often involves a lot of kissing. But your mom and dad do it because they want to make each other feel good and show how much they love each other.”
“I’m not sure I understand, Pop-Pop. Why can’t they do it while I’m there?”
“Well, firstly, it would be a felony.” Tali looks at him, with her eyebrows raised. “But sex is not something that adults do in public, unless they plan on being arrested. Only private - no kiddos allowed.”
“I think I get it,” Tali nods.
“You do?”
“Is that why mom and dad lock their bedroom door when they think I’m asleep? Are they having sex?” Senior nods. “They think I can’t hear them but the walls are pretty thin… and I do hear things… kissing. Mom and dad say nice things about how much they love each other and dad tells her how beautiful she is.”
“He does?” Senior smiles with pride. He had always known his son was head over heels for Ziva, even if Tony hadn’t ever wanted to admit it to him. But, seeing him with her - the two of them together, raising their daughter… It was evident that he was finally the man he had always destined to be - a loving father and a partner - and Senior couldn’t be more proud of him if he tried.
Tali nods. “And then when they think I’m really sleep there’s a lot of noises… the bed squeaks and they sound out of breath, like they’ve been running. And then mom often tells him not to stop and repeats the word “yes” over and over again until her voice is really loud and she yells dad’s name, and Dad tells her to be quiet.” Senior splutters as he chokes on his ice cream, his eyes wide. He is about to interrupt her, but she continues. “And sometimes a little later, Dad says the f-word too. I know I’m not supposed to know it, and I also know I’m not supposed to repeat it. Mom shushes him and then the two of them laugh and talk for a while.”
Silence fills the air and Senior looks at Tali, stunned. Of course, he was under no illusions to how Tali was conceived, but it was one thing to know… hearing of your son’s sex life with his girlfriend was an entirely other thing. Senior thinks, unsure of how to direct the conversation. What did you say in response to that? Thankfully, Tali being the inquisitive child that she is, asks another question.
“Is it fun?”
“Sorry, kiddo?”
“When mom and dad have sex… Do they have fun? Because sometimes they laugh a lot and daddy always tells me that you know you’re having fun when you’re laughing.”
Senior chuckles. This was certainly not how he envisioned the conversation going.
“Yeah, Kiddo,” he replies. “Your mom and dad have fun.” He pauses. “But you know, Tali, sometimes sex can cause other things to happen too.”
“Like what?”
“Well, for starters… you.”
“Me?” Tali asked, pointing at herself.
“Exactly,” he nods. “About eight years ago, your mom and dad had sex, and nine months later, there you were!”
Tali stares at him blankly. “You lost me again, Pop-Pop.”
“Alright,” he nods. “Now, you should only ever have sex when you’re a grown up, and only with another grown up. And before you do, you must make sure that it’s okay with the other person and that they want to do it with you, just like they must make sure it’s okay with you and that you want to do it with them. And, if anybody tries to make you do it when you don’t want to, you say no. Are you following?”
“I think so. You must be an adult, and both grown ups must agree that they want to have sex with each other.”
“Right.” Senior nods. “Well, sex involves a lot of private body parts… you know the parts we don’t show to other people, that are just our own?”
“Mom and Dad have talked to me about that. They said that if anybody asks to see them, unless there’s a problem and it’s a doctor, I say no and I tell them about it.”
Senior winks at her. “That’s my smart girl.” Tali grins.
“I still don’t understand how I happened though?”
Senior pauses. “Okay, so you know how when you play with your water pistol, if you pull the trigger the water shoots out like a jet stream? Well, imagine that you’re aiming your water pistol at a target with a hole in the middle.” Tali nodded. “Now, if you don’t cover up the end of the water pistol, what happens?”
“The water will shoot straight into the hole!”
“Right! Now, when it comes to sex, the water pistol is a man’s private parts and the target with a hole in the middle is a woman’s. The water from the man’s pistol contains something called ‘sperm’, like hundreds of tiny tadpoles. Now, imagine inside the hole of the target, there’s an inflated balloon, and in that balloon there’s an egg without its shell. You follow?” Tali nods. “Well, when the stream of the water from the pistol shoots into the hole of the target, all those little tiny tadpoles are trying to get through the tiny gap in the end of the balloon, to try and get the egg. And if the tadpole manages to get to the egg and break through the skin, then over the course of nine months, that egg turns into a baby, which the woman will give birth to.”
Tali looks at him, silently, processing his words. Her little fingers touch her chin.
“I think I get it, Pop-Pop.”
“You do?” he asks. “You sure?”
Tali nods, ferociously. “I think so. Having sex makes babies.”
“That’s right, Tali. If it’s unprotected, that is. But I think I’ll leave the contraception talk for your parents.”
“So,” Tali begins, “every time I stay with you, it’s because mom and dad are trying to make another baby?”
Senior hesitates, shaking his head. “Uh… no… not really.”
“Why not?” He chuckles.
“A lot of the time, adults like your mom and dad have sex for fun and because it feels good. They do it because they love each other and to bring them closer together, but they’re not doing it with the intention of making a baby. Sometimes the baby just comes as a surprise!”
“In the way I was a surprise to Ima and Abba?”
“Yes, exactly.”
Tali grins, licking her lips which are covered in ice cream. “Pop-Pop?” Senior raises his eyebrows. “Do you think I’ll ever have a baby brother or sister?”
Senior smiles. “Honestly, kiddo,” he replies, “with the amount of time your parents spend having sex, I’m surprised you haven’t got a whole Von Trapp family of siblings already!”