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"Seventeenth meeting of the Cult of Skaro, with Dalek Sec presiding. Today we will discuss customs of the planet Earth to evaluate whether they have any use for the Daleks in the conduct of the Time War."
Dalek Sec swivelled round, looking at their three companions.
"Earth is a very backward planet," said Dalek Thay. "I do not understand why we have invaded it so many times. We should have obliterated it at the start."
"Earth is closely associated with the Doctor," said Dalek Sec. "Our mission is to understand the mind of the enemy. The Doctor is our enemy. Therefore knowledge of his associates is valuable. What have you discovered from your investigations?"
Dalek Caan rotated excitedly. "It is reported that the Ancient Britons went into battle with no armour. Instead they painted their skin blue!"
"How did they benefit from this practice?"
"It is not explained. I hypothesise that, by painting their skin instead of wearing armour, they were compelled to fight more aggressively to avoid being wounded."
"They were primitives," said Dalek Thay. "When Davros created the Daleks, living inside permanent armour was essential to his design. We fight more aggressively because our flesh is never exposed. Nakedness is un-Daaalek."
Dalek Sec had to agree. They had suspicions about Dalek Caan; they had once discovered them with their skirts open, waving their tentacles in the air. But this was not the moment to raise that.
"Dalek Thay, did you discover anything of interest?"
"Very little."
"Anything?"
Dalek Thay's gun arm twitched slightly. "The Roman army had a practice known as decimation. If their troops were cowardly or insubordinate, the generals executed one man in every ten to teach the others a lesson."
"An interesting idea," said Dalek Sec. "We will bear it in mind. But it does not necessitate further research. Dalek Jast, have you anything to communicate?"
"Singing!" squeaked Dalek Jast.
"Sin-ging???"
"Humans believe that singing together promotes a sense of community. My research suggests that polyphonic singing is particularly promising..."
"Poly-phonic? Explicate."
"It signifies many voices. The singers are divided into groups, and each group sings a different sequence of notes, but the sequences are co-ordinated to create harmony. This could be useful in educating Daleks to synchronise different actions."
Perhaps the idea was not as foolish as Dalek Sec had first thought. It seemed bizarre, but was this not the sort of lateral thinking which the Cult of Skaro had been formed to develop?
"Voice programs would require minor modulation to cover the full range of notes," continued Dalek Jast.
"How would we create the sequence of notes?" enquired Dalek Caan. "I understand this is called music?"
"Ultimately we would compose our own music. But initially we would emulate human music. I have found a book which would form a suitable basis for adaptation. It is called Sacred Harp."
"Sacred?" said Dalek Thay, suspiciously. "This sounds like human superstition."
"It is human superstition," admitted Dalek Jast. "We would translate the words to express Dalek thinking."
"Harp?" asked Dalek Sec.
"A harp is a stringed instrument," began Dalek Jast...
"This is not suitable..." interrupted Dalek Thay.
"It is not a problem. In fact there is no harp involved in Sacred Harp; the music is formulated only by voices."
"Humans are irrational," commented Dalek Sec.
"Humans are fond of acrostics," interpolated Dalek Caan. "It is possible that HARP is an acronym."
Dalek Sec considered for a while.
"You will continue to investigate singing," they announced. "What resources do you require?"
"I propose to use twenty Daleks for the trial, divided into four groups. Each group's voices would be modulated to a different range. Meanwhile I will choose suitable songs to adapt."
"Permission to collaborate with Dalek Jast in this project," requested Dalek Caan. "I would be interested in adapting words."
"Permission granted," said Dalek Sec. "Dalek Thay, do you wish to participate?"
"I do not."
"Very well. You will commence investigation of the customs of the planet Exxilon."
Dalek Jast and Dalek Caan were soon devoting most of their time to the Skaro Harmony And Resonance Project. They were reluctant to discuss it in detail, but stated that they were making progress and requested that more Daleks should be allocated to the experiment.
While they worked on the project, Dalek Thay investigated 23 other planets and stated that they had no value of any kind.
Dalek Sec knew that they had been appointed to lead the group, and therefore to delegate, but wished that their colleagues could find a more productive balance of enthusiasm and scepticism. And yet they were sure that, had Dalek Thay been assigned to Skaro HARP, it would have made no progress at all.
At last, Dalek Jast announced that their project had reached a stage suitable for viewing, in what they described as a "performance".
Dalek Sec and Dalek Thay glided on to a platform to join their colleagues, looking down on the hall below. The Dalek singers had formed a square, facing inwards; Dalek Sec remembered that they had been divided into four groups, to sing different sequences.
One of them rolled into the centre of the square, raising their suction arm; all the other eye stalks focused on them, and then, as the arm suddenly dropped and rose again, the singing began:
Da da ska-lek da ro ro-lek ska...
Ska ska da ska-da ska-ro ro ro ro...
Da da ro da lek lek ro lek...
Da da da da ro ro da ro...
"What is this gibberish?" asked Dalek Thay.
"These syllables are shape-notes," said Dalek Jast. "Human singers sang the names of the musical notes, but their names - fa, sol, la and mi - were meaningless. We replaced them with ska, ro, da and lek."
"Why do the Dalek singers keep raising and lowering their suction arms?" asked Dalek Sec.
"They are beating time," said Dalek Caan.
"Beating time?"
"We are fighting a Time War against the Time Lords. It is logical that we must beat time."
Dalek Sec was reluctant to admit that they did not know what this meant, but it sounded logical.
Dalek Jast began to talk about simple and compound time, and how they had rejected songs in triple time as they required an unnatural movement for the sucker arm. But Dalek Sec signalled that they should be silent while they listened to the song. It was unexpectedly... pleasing. The voices were still recognisable as those of Daleks, but the notes formed an interesting pattern, in which they could detect four lines running in parallel.
The song paused for a moment, and then began again: the same pattern, but this time with words rather than the shape-notes. The same words were being sung by each group, but following the four different lines to create the harmony which Dalek Jast had described as the objective.
Hail the day so long awaited,
All of space and time is ours!
Every world is subjugated,
Flattened by the Daleks' powers.
No more shall inferior races
Dare to challenge us in war!
Gallifrey is fallen, is fallen, is fallen
Gallifrey is fallen, to rise no more.
"The fall of Gallifrey has not yet happened," objected Dalek Thay.
"Our words envisage the future," said Dalek Caan. "By imagining the successful conclusion of the Time War, we can strengthen our will to achieve it."
Oh, thought Dalek Sec, this was exactly the sort of leap in thinking that the Cult of Skaro had been established to bring about!
All the Time Lords stand confounded,
No more to regenerate,
TARDISes for ever grounded,
Three-dimensional their state.
Time is up for meddling Doctors,
Atomised upon the floor;
Gallifrey is fallen, is fallen, is fallen
Gallifrey is fallen, to rise no more.
Yes, Dalek Sec could envisage this future, very clearly, and it was a good one. Singing was a move of genius, and all Daleks should be modified to reproduce it as soon as possible. Even Dalek Thay could not object. They noticed that their suction arm had begun to rise and fall to the same rhythm as that of the singers.
Sound the klaxon over Skaro,
Masters of the Universe!
Spread the word, let every star know
While their planets quail and curse;
All the peoples of the cosmos
Tremble as they hear their fate:
Gallifrey is fallen, is fallen, is fallen
Gallifrey is fallen - EXTERMINATE!
There was a blinding flash and a deafening burst of energy. When it cleared, the Cult could see the smoking remains of several Daleks who had been destroyed in the crossfire that had ripped through the square.
Dalek Sec turned and fixed their eye stalk on Dalek Jast.
"Why did you request extra Daleks for your experiment? Has this happened before?"
Dalek Jast swivelled miserably.
"Yes," they admitted. "We thought we had eliminated the problem through repeated practice. But once before, the Daleks became so... enthusiastic... they were carried away and acted out the imagined scenario."
"Carried away?" squawked Dalek Thay. "Enthusiasm? This entire experiment has demonstrated the dangers of imagination and the expression of emotion. Singing is un-Daaalek."
It was no longer possible to disagree. Dalek Sec knew that they themselves had been, briefly... carried away... by the music.
"Dalek Thay is right," they declared wearily. "From this moment, no Dalek will be permitted to sing. Skaro HARP is - terminated."