Archive of Our Own ^beta

After sitting at the airport in terror and then racing to the 110, Eddie had ironically been happier than he'd been for a while. Bobby shouting commands while the 118 actually worked together as team instead of in splintered pieces like they have been. Sadly like all good things in Eddie's life they never last. Once the victims were taken care of, the 118 were sent back to their station. Under Interim Captain Wilson they were actually able to catch an hour or two or sleep. Until a familiar booming voice startled them all awake. After the most bizarre line up Eddie had yet experienced, their shift was over. 

"Hey wanna come over my place? We can try Facetiming Chris together. He answers better when you're around" Eddie asks ignoring the hopeful plea in his voice. 

Buck glances around the locker room quick and then leans in conspiratorially. "Only if I get to take five showers at your place. I have to scrub the racist off my skin. I feels so skeeved out" Buck says shivering.

Eddie laughs. "I don't know what if you have Gerard cooties. Could be contagious" Eddie smirks. 

"I'll make sure to scrub your shower" Buck grins back taking a small step closer. Eddie's mind supplies a very unhelpful image of Buck cleaning his shower naked and he suppresses his own shiver. 

"Come on let's get going" Buck laughs zipping his work bag closed. 

"So did you see that Brad guy we came with? He's an actor from the show Bobby is working on" Buck begins automatically leading the way towards his car. 

"The guy who fainted?" Eddie snorts. 

"I have so much to tell you" Buck says grinning broadly. 

~

As Buck drove them back h-to Eddie's house, he told him all about weaving through traffic, breaking onto set, Bobby telling him to steal a firetruck and finally getting to know Brad. Eddie is happy to sit in their passenger seat and let Buck's stories and excitement wash over him. 

"Wanna pick up some take out?" Eddie asks. 

"Actually I got a recipe for chicken francese I wanted to try. We still have those chickens I bought on Tuesday. I figured we could shower, nap, win over your son with my amazing heroic save and then go grocery shopping" Buck suggests. 

"Sounds perfect" Eddie says breathlessly unlocking his house and kicking off his shoes. "You think we can keep him on the phone long enough to tell it?" Eddie says his heart threatening to fall into despair. 

"Trust me I saved the best part of my story for my favorite Diaz. He still loves you" Buck reminds him, placing a hand on his bicep sending a warm tingle to course down his arm. 

"He loves both of us" Eddie counters pointedly. 

"He'll love me more for my dashing rescue" Buck winks and grins that beautiful grin that always makes Eddie's heart swoop. 

"Well you should go shower first before you bring any racist germs in here" Eddie tells him shoving him lightly. 

"We may need to burn these clothes" Buck says seriously. Eddie glances down and back up, a blush creeping across his cheeks. 

"I do not feeling like calling Dispatch because two firefighters started burning clothes in my backyard" Eddie retorts rolling his eyes. 

"We would never hear the end of it" Buck replies over his shoulder as he walks away down the hall. 

Get a grip Diaz Eddie thinks angrily going to start a load of laundry.

~

"So Athena has no choice but to land the plane on the 110, the busiest highway in LA" Buck tells them. Eddie is sitting next to him, his heart pounding thickly while Chris sits next to him. Chris barely spoke when he was in the frame so he pretended to check the laundry and then walked to the other side of the couch. Buck adjusted the camera so only he was seen but Eddie could still see his son as Chris listened eagerly to Buck's story. At least he doesn't hate Buck. Not that anyone could.

"Bobby tells me we need a mile of highway closed" Buck tells him. Chris gasps. 

"A mile of LA highway?" Chris repeats, highlighting how much he's grown up that he can understand the true daunting feat Buck and Bobby accomplished. 

"I grab two flares off the prop truck. Thank god they actually worked. I see a motorcyclist weaving through traffic coming toward us. I commander his motorcycle" Buck says smugly his gaze flicking over to him.

"Wait you know how to ride a motorcycle?" Chris interrupts. 

"Uh...yeah I had one as a kid and uh...crashed it. Haven't been on a bike since" Buck admits. Eddie's heart lurches. He can picture a miserable, reckless young Buck buying a motorcycle and speeding through life not caring if anything hits him. Believing being hurt is the only way to feel alive. Eddie's heart twists for the boy he never knew. Then his mind snaps back and realizes Buck has probably not been on a bike in ten years and his first time riding it was tonight through LA traffic on the 110. His pulse quickens.

"So anyways take off down the highway going against traffic. I keep an eye on the gauge and once I've traveled a little over a mile I hop off the bike on the shoulder of the road. Then I strike my flares. Now here's the real tricky part. I have to stop traffic. Just me and a flare in each hand trying to yell at speeding cars to stop" Buck continues. 

Eddie's throat closes. His mind fills sharply with images of Buck getting struck by a car, laying dead on the sidewalk like his own wife. He could have lost two loves of his life to vehicular slaughter tonight. Eddie's mind supplies him wit the memories of Buck's blood streaked face, his limp unbeating heart beneath his hands, his still body hanging in the air. He inhales sharply and Buck glances over for the first time. He must see something written across his face because he frowns worriedly. 

"Is that Dad?" Chris asked. 

"Y-yeah he stubbed his toe" Buck says turning his attention back to Chris still shooting him worried looks. 

"What?" Chris calls offscreen. Chris sighs and Eddie knows what's coming next. 

"Buck I have to go" Chris says disappointedly. 

"Alright kid. I miss you. Talk soon" Buck says waving and glancing back up to see if he wants to attempt a goodbye. He is still frozen in his seat so he shakes his head numbly. 

"Bye Buck" Chris says quickly and hangs up, almost as if he didn't want to give Eddie a chance to come back to the screen. 

"Eddie?" Buck says worriedly scooting a little closer on the couch. 

Eddie inhales a count of four and exhales a count of fur. Buck waits knowing he needs to orient himself. "Remember when Chris first left? I went to work, to therapy and then just laid in bed listening to the silence" Eddie said slowly. 

"Yeah I got you to go to the movies and I was worried you were going to bring your comforter" Buck says teasing him lightly. 

Eddie pulls out the drawer on his coffee table and takes out his therapy journal. Buck and Chris had filled the cover with inspirational animal stickers. "Frank told me to make a list. Things to hold on to to help pull me out of bed. Good things in my life. Help pull me out of bed and keep me working. Eating. Moving forward. With Chris gone and then Gerard in place I couldn't do it but slowly together we made a list during therapy" Eddie tells him rifling through the book and then handing over the book. 

"I want you to read it" Eddie tells him. 

Buck glances up at warily at him but reads aloud. "Good List. Number 1: Chris is alive. 2: Buck is alive. 3: Chris is healthy. 4: Buck is healthy and happy" Buck stops and looks up with wonder. 

"Are these just in order of how you thought of them?" Buck asks, his voice sounding choked. 

"No they are in order of importance" Eddie says holding his gaze intently. 

"Oh" Buck swallows, his eyes becoming shiny. 

"I know you did what you needed to. Athena and all those people on the plane are alive because of what you, Bobby, and Dispatch did" Eddie says breathing slowly. 

"Eddie" Buck begins weakly. 

"But you need to know you endangered my second reason to get up every morning. My son won't speak to me. My home is empty and I am desperately clinging to everything good in my life" Eddie tells him bending his knee so he can fully face Buck. 

"I did what I had to" Buck says in a small voice. 

"I know that. I wouldn't change that. I just need you to know when you throw yourself into an emergency you are dragging me with you even if I'm not by your side. When you risk your life you risk mine. Do you understand?" Eddie asks him seriously holding those deep blue eyes that shine with so many emotions. 

"I do. I forget. Athena was in danger and Bobby needed me...Last time I rode a motorcycle, I was 19 and mad at the world. I crashed and my dad wouldn't even leave his meeting to pick up my call from the hospital. They had to call me a cab" Buck says tears shimmering in his eyes. 

"I know. You saved so many people last night. You don't get to forget anymore though" Eddie says simply. 

Buck nods glancing back down at the list. Then his gaze shoots back up stunned. Eddie frowns and then remembers what else is written on his list. "Buck wait" he begins. 

"Number 8: I am in love with Buck. Maybe someday he'll love me back" Buck reads his jaw dropping open. 

"That's not important" Eddie says grabbing the notebook back. 

"Not...Eddie you" Buck stammers blinking in surprise. 

"Please Buck. You're with Tommy and you're happy. Just ignore that okay" Eddie says roughly running a hand into his hair. 

"I'm not with Tommy" Buck replies instantly. 

"What?" Eddie demands pulling his hand away violently. 

"We broke up a few days ago. He...was talking about you throwing the party for Chris. How pointless it was. He got pissed I stopped us making out so I could answer Chris's call and said it was immature to want to talk to a kid more than make out with my boyfriend. Said I had to choose." Buck says annoyed. 

"I'll talk to Tommy. You two can figure it out" Eddie says sighing heavily planning out what to say. 

"Eddie" Buck says tentatively his large hand cupping Eddie's cheek. Eddie inhaled sharply in surprise. "I will always choose you and Chris. You're my family. I never even thought you could ever be a possibility so I didn't let myself even consider it but I am. I am so in love with you" Buck said. Eddie didn't hesitate or consider the consequences. He leaned across the small space and captured Buck's mouth. He kissed Buck with all the emotions he had tried to bury for seven years. Buck's hand cupped his neck and deepened the kiss and Eddie opened to him. Buck's tongue filled him like it had always belonged there. He moaned and met Buck's tongue with his own battling along each other. They broke apart for air, pulling apart only enough to see the other. 

"Wow" Buck breathed. 

"Buck?" Eddie asks hoarsely. 

"Yeah?" Buck asks, panting lightly. 

"I have a new list to write" Eddie says.