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The only thing stopping Yukari from screaming upon waking up so violently was a lack of air in her lungs. With her body going upright, she clutched at her chest and pulled at the thin fabric blocking her skin from contact. Had she been any stronger, she might have just pulled her heart right from her chest to get it to stop pounding.
A panicked look around her room showed nothing in the expanse of darkness. That pretty much cemented what Yukari had failed to grasp in the split-second after waking up. She had fallen victim to a nightmare.
Contrary to what anyone close to her might have thought, she didn’t get nightmares very often. Her sleep normally worked like powering off a cell phone for the night. Once asleep, it was like an instant passed as she woke up the next day with the sun rising overhead.
On the rare occasions she dreamt something at all, she only remembered small bits of the dream upon waking up. They were never anything noteworthy.
So by comparison, her nightmares stood out all the more. They were always soul-crushing, bringing her back to points in her life where she had felt at her lowest.
Sometimes it would be the night she got the news about her father’s death. Sometimes it would be a particularly bad argument between her and her mother. Sometimes she would even find herself on the Moonlight Bridge itself during the catastrophe that set everything in motion for her.
Tonight, however, had been something else entirely. Something new and eye-opening in a way that she couldn’t just attribute to her painful past as a means of moving on.
No, this nightmare formed purely off her experiences of the past few months. Before this past April, she never would have been so shaken up over a sight like it forced on her. Gruesome as it was, she knew full well that it was who had been lost to her in that nightmare that really made it so devastating.
Her usual nightmares may have been just as horrific, but at least she knew how to manage seeing those by now. This latest one, in contrast, had shaken her to her core. It forced her to wake up in a cold sweat, desperate to ground herself in some form of reality. She felt so pathetic being on the other end of such a debilitating experience formed by her own brain.
Seeing what she had, it had really felt like he was gone forever…
Yukari shook her head rapidly. Rather than sit in bed and let the lingering images of her nightmare plague her attempts to fall back asleep, it was better that she got up and did something else for a bit. That was a lot easier when she was living with her mother and could walk around the house as late as she pleased, but she could make do even in the dorms.
After wiping the sweat from her body and exchanging her pajamas for something casual but still loose, she crept out of her room and down the hall. Making it past the rest of the girls’ rooms pretty much put her in the clear. She could probably fall down the stairs face-first and still not wake any of the boys.
Stealth mission behind her, she began thinking about what she would actually do once she got to the first floor. She could try making something to drink, like tea or hot cocoa. She could sit by the window and just take in the city at night until she got bored. Honestly, anything would be better than keeping a certain nightmare in her thoughts any longer.
The universe, however, did not seem to agree. In a conspiratorial act against her, the first floor was not empty like she expected. Furthermore, the sole person occupying it at the moment was the one so recently in her thoughts. Parked on the couch closest to the wall, Makoto huddled under a thick blanket. His eyes were glued to the near-silent TV lighting up the otherwise pitch-black room.
Part of Yukari wanted to turn right back around and just force herself to sleep. There was a chance it would work. Though based on how jittery she still felt, she wasn’t very confident in those chances.
Before considering any alternatives, her body seemed to make a choice for her. Her slipper-covered feet shuffled further into the entrance area until she was standing right next to the TV. She stood there for a minute before finally speaking up.
“Makoto?”
Eyes rimmed with dark bags drifted over from the TV to her, taking her in for the first time despite her being in plain sight for so long. Yukari figured he wasn’t even watching anything, merely using the TV as a light source as he mentally checked out. He did have a knack for that.
“Oh, hey,” he said. “What’s up?”
“I feel like I should be asking you that,” she replied. “Don’t you know how late it is?”
“You mean early?”
“Don’t start getting technical with me to dodge the subject. You should be in bed, so why are you out here?”
He shrugged. “It’s Sunday. Didn’t see the harm of staying up for a bit. I can just sleep in later.”
Right, it was Sunday now, wasn’t it? Yukari didn’t have the same nonchalance at being up so late, but she could admit that if there was a day to be a little loose with sleep, it was today.
“What are you doing down here?” he asked back. “It’s rare to see you up so late.”
“Oh, I…”
Telling him her actual circumstances for coming downstairs seemed like a bad idea on several fronts. Running away from a dream by itself was a bit humiliating, and then there was the fact that Makoto himself had unknowingly played a part in it. Keeping her mouth shut just seemed like the better option.
But she wouldn’t feel any better holding her tongue. Makoto was staring at her expectantly now, not pressuring her in any way, but silently letting her know that she could speak as plainly as she wanted to. He was always like that, lending an ear no matter the situation if it would help the other person feel better.
So while yes, the more practical move here would be to deny anything being wrong and head back up to her room, she couldn’t see herself doing so now. If she couldn’t tell him about this, who could she tell?
She swallowed before replying, “I…had a nightmare.”
“Oh. You too, huh?”
Hearing that threw Yukari for a loop. It would have been one thing for him to comfort her after hearing about her nighttime struggles, but for him to admit that he himself had been through the same? It was a conclusion she never would have reached on her own.
“You had a nightmare?” she asked. “And you didn’t just go back to sleep?”
Makoto frowned, which Yukari knew was as close to a pout as he could probably manage. It didn’t make it any less endearing; she liked getting to see him emote regardless.
“You make it sound like I can sleep through anything,” he said.
“That’s because I’m mostly convinced that you can. Before Aigis showed up, we’d go half the day thinking you went into a coma up in your room sometimes.”
Another half-hearted frown. “I was still getting used to things. It’s not like we get tons of uninterrupted sleep with trips to Tartarus being so frequent.”
“True. Our sleep schedules are probably all shot at this point. It’ll be a wonder if we can go back to normal once we take care of the Dark Hour.”
Their struggles would considerably lessen once that day came, but adjusting back to normal life was going to take a while. Though if it helped rid her of nights like this, then that was just another incentive to work harder on their joint mission.
“Want to sit?”
Yukari’s thoughts ceased as she looked back to her nighttime companion. “Huh?”
“You can sit down if you want,” Makoto said. “Blanket’s big enough for two, and it doesn’t look like you’re planning on going back up anytime soon.”
Yeah, she had pretty much resolved by this point to stay downstairs. There wasn’t much benefit in going back up right now.
Sitting down was the next logical course of action, and something about Makoto inviting her to share such a close space with him was equal parts tantalizing and anxiety-inducing. Though even that anxious part of her would prefer to have him close to her tonight if only to assuage her own baseless worries.
So, braving the erratic pounding of her heart, she gave a quick nod and moved to settle in beside him. He lifted the blanket to allow her to sit down, and as soon as her back hit the couch, he let it fall back down to cover them both. Yukari had no way of knowing whether the heat that she felt was a consequence of the fabric over them, their proximity to one another, or the way her whole body was suddenly flushing red.
That last possibility was not one she wanted to entertain, so she cleared her throat before throwing out a lackluster attempt at changing the subject.
“I–If it’s okay to ask, what was your nightmare about? Nothing too bad, right?”
“No,” he answered. “Just some more flashes of that night on the Moonlight Bridge.”
Yukari must have looked horrified at that, because he shook his head and amended the statement pretty quickly.
“I’m used to those by now. It hurts, but not as bad as it used to. Not like I can do anything about that now, can I?”
“I…guess.”
It was a bit hypocritical to be so concerned when she very much treated nightmares about her past the exact same way. Still, hearing it from Makoto’s side didn’t make her feel good at all.
“I’m fine,” he reassured her. “It could’ve been worse, honestly. Lately I’ve been having ones where my orders get one of you guys killed in Tartarus. I…still don’t know how to deal with those.”
That made sense. Makoto had a lot of pressure on him as the leader, and though he had learned how to do his job well at this point, it had to be stressful to be responsible for everyone all the time.
And it wasn’t like she couldn’t sympathize with being at a loss after having a nightmare like he described. After all, that was the very same thing that had shaken her so badly that she fled her own room, albeit on a smaller scale.
It was all still so clear in her mind. She, along with Makoto, Akihiko, and Junpei, were all surrounding one of those bull-looking Shadows in Tartarus. Everything was going like normal, until the monster unleashed a wave of damage that sent the team sprawling to the ground. Unable to pick themselves up quickly, the Shadow set his sights on Makoto and attacked him relentlessly.
Even on the ground, Yukari held her Evoker to her head, but it was in vain. No matter how much force she tried to put in her fingers, they wouldn’t budge. She was forced to helplessly watch as Makoto was slaughtered by the Shadow, beaten beyond recognition and splattered against the wall like rotten produce. It was no wonder she had almost woken up screaming.
Losing any teammate like that would be brutal, but as she had come to realize, Makoto was not just ‘any’ teammate to her. Not anymore.
As if she needed another reminder of how vital he had become to her life.
She stole another glance at the sleepy boy on her right. Unlike the version in her nightmare, the Makoto in reality was safe and sound. Not exactly in peak condition considering how late it was and how exhausted he looked, but safe, nonetheless.
That should have been enough for her. She was already invading his space for the night and using him for her own comfort. Unfortunately, her current condition had her acting a bit greedier than normal. She couldn’t stop herself from openly reaching for more of that comfort he exuded so casually.
“Hey, can you talk to me some more?” she asked. “I don’t think silence is helping right now.”
‘Hearing your voice assures me that you’re really here,’ went unsaid.
“Talk about what?” Makoto asked. “You have something in mind?”
She hadn’t, but as the one to bring it up, it was probably on her to come up with something.
“Well, I guess we’re on the subject of dreams anyway, so… Oh, what’s the silliest dream you’ve ever had? That seems like a good way to bring the mood up.”
Makoto hummed to himself, his eyebrows knitting together like they usually did when he had to answer something out of the blue. Yukari wished he would pay more attention in class, but it was always fun to look back and see him making that exact face whenever a teacher saw fit to pick on him during a lesson.
Finally, he said, “Oh, last month I dreamt that everyone in our class turned into talking cheeseburgers. I could only tell who was who based on the toppings.”
Yukari couldn’t hold back the laughs hearing that. “What? Seriously?”
“Yep. I think that was the night after I did the Big Eater Challenge at Wilduck. I guess it isn’t surprising I had meat on the brain.”
A few more chuckles came out before she could add, “I can’t believe there are people at school who think you’re so cool and mysterious. What would your fangirls say if they knew you dreamt about talking cheeseburgers?”
“I still don’t believe you about having any. I can count the number of people who don’t avoid me at school on both hands. Although, maybe it’s more accurate to say they tolerate me.”
“Quit selling yourself short. You have actual friends at school and you know it.”
If she couldn’t convince him of the scores of girls sneaking looks at him and whispering to each other behind his back, she would at least make that clear.
He gave an unconvinced ‘hmph’ at that. “Speaking from experience? I thought you of all people were keeping me in firm ‘tolerated’ territory.”
She scowled at him through increasingly tired eyes. Forget her potentially one-sided affection for him, if he genuinely couldn’t see how close they had gotten since meeting in April, she was going to have to spend the rest of the night beating him over the head with evidence.
To his credit, that didn’t seem like it would be necessary with the way he preemptively held a hand up in surrender.
“That was a joke,” he said.
“It better have been. I was your first friend here, dummy. We passed the ‘tolerate’ phase a long time ago.”
And entered a very scary ‘somewhat head over heels’ phase not long after, but he didn’t need to know that. Not now, at least.
“I know,” he replied. “I still stumble a bit being friends with everyone else, but I think I’ve figured us out. Uh, mostly.”
“Mostly?”
“Our friendship is one thing, but you, Yukari Takeba, are a mystery.” Makoto tilted his head to look her in the eyes. “I need way more time if I’m ever going to figure you out specifically. Not that I mind trying.”
It really was a blessing in disguise that only one of Makoto’s eyes was usually visible. It meant that the fluttery feeling Yukari got whenever he held her in his gaze wasn’t as intense as it could get. The state he put her in with his sights on her alone would make her heart give out before any stupid nightmares.
“You make it sound like you’ll be sticking around for a while,” she said.
“I don’t see why not. Unless you’d rather find a new quiet classmate to torment.”
Her voice came out in a whisper-shout as she exclaimed, “Torment?! I’m the nicest to you out of everyone here! Well, except maybe Fuuka. But still!”
“Alright, point taken. Guess you’re stuck with me, then.”
She wouldn’t have it any other way. If anything, she wouldn’t mind nights like these becoming a bit more common. Minus the nightmares, obviously.
A lull in the conversation brought Yukari’s attention back to how her pulse raced under her skin. Maybe it was how sleepy she was, or maybe the air was just a bit charged with something she hesitated to put a name to, but she felt a little bolder than normal.
So, before she could overthink it, she scooted closer to Makoto and let her head fall onto his shoulder. It felt like a space made for her personally with how comfortable it was. Makoto didn’t move or shy away from the act at all.
“Man, you really must be tired,” he said. “A sight like this would make those rumors at school go crazy.”
“You see anyone else around, genius?”
“Fair enough. You’re free to do what you want, of course. But I guess it’s pointless telling you that. Who could ever stop you from doing what you want?”
“I can be persuaded from time to time. It just takes a special kind of person to do it.”
“Special, huh? Do I make the cut?”
She feigned thought by humming to herself. “I think I need ‘way more time’ before I decide that.”
“Oh, so we’re stealing lines now.”
“What’s yours is mine, leader. Isn’t that how this works?”
“I guess so. That would at least explain why Junpei’s always so eager to take my taiyaki from the fridge.”
Yukari let herself laugh at that a little. Taiyaki theft did sound right up Junpei’s alley.
Intoxicated by the comfort of everything happening, she pushed herself further into Makoto, feeling his cheek press against the top of her head. If there was any doubt she had chosen the wrong method of dealing with her turbulent night, it had been sufficiently shot down by now.
“You’ve got a nice voice,” she mused aloud.
She felt the chuckle that came from Makoto more than she heard it. “Thanks. You really do look tired, though. Ready to head back up?”
“No,” she replied. Her voice was way too whiny saying that, like a kid who had been informed it was past their bedtime, but thankfully Makoto refrained from commenting on it. “I’m good. Just…just a little longer. Keep talking.”
“Not usually my thing, but sure.”
Yukari sat and listened as Makoto told her about some of the friends he had made around Iwatodai. He spoke softly about taking Maiko to Octopia and spending quiet afternoons sewing with Bebe. He went on a tangent about the kids he and Yuko were coaching in running, giving a small breakdown of each of their strengths and weaknesses. Yukari soaked up every bit of it.
That didn’t mean she didn’t at least try to chime in a few times. Someone needed to point out that indulging Kenji’s ‘master plan’ would only end in failure, and the late-night trips to Paulownia Mall were their own cause for concern. Had she been more lucid, she would have had no end of questions surrounding the ‘life lessons’ he had apparently been taught by that salesman on TV and a monk with a drinking problem.
As it stood, however, she could only softly chastise him before her words trailed off and her eyes fell shut for the night.
* * *
Makoto did not, in fact, hate the sun. What he did hate was how frequently an errant sunbeam tended to wake him from a deep slumber by nailing his closed eyelids.
Today was apparently no exception to that. Try as he might to keep his eyes closed and himself in the land of dreams, one sliver of sunlight was all it took to rouse him. His annoyance at being woken was purely based on the fact that he hadn’t gotten much sleep to begin with, he told himself. It certainly had nothing to do with a certain brunette archer occupying every second of his dreams once he actually managed to fall asleep.
He begrudgingly forced his eyes open just to be met with the task of blinking away the dark spots in his vision. Upon success, he was surprised to see the first floor of the dorm almost fully lit. Rather than letting the sun do the work, however, the floor’s various lamps were doing the heavy lifting this morning.
Makoto suspected the culprit in turning them all on was the red-haired third-year eyeing him curiously from her spot near the TV. Mitsuru gave him a slow nod once she realized he was awake enough to notice her.
“Good morning, Yuki.”
A yawn preceded his greeting. “Morning, senpai.”
He tried to raise his hand for a small wave only to find it oddly pinned down. When he glanced over at it, the lack of movement was immediately explained.
As it turned out, he hadn’t just dreamt that Yukari chose to sleep right beside him. She was currently latched onto him, her arms encircling one of his underneath their shared blanket. No wonder it had started to feel limp.
“Oh…” He tilted his head up to Mitsuru. “How long…?”
“For as long as I’ve been awake,” she said. “Am I correct in assuming this was something that lasted through the night?”
“Probably. Well…what was left of it, anyway.”
Mitsuru raised an eyebrow at that, but if she was looking for elaboration, he didn’t have much to give her. Explaining would mean putting Yukari’s business out in the open, and he wasn’t interested in betraying her trust, even for something as small as a nightmare. He knew how important saving face with the other residents of the dorm was for her.
Plus, his memory of last night – or early this morning, he supposed – was hazy at best. He remembered why he came down, and why Yukari had joined him, but a lot of the specifics fell away once they had gotten close and he started rambling about his day-to-day.
He glanced back up to see Mitsuru’s expression was still searching him for something. Even though he was resolved not to give anything away, it wasn’t like he particularly enjoyed being under her scrutinous gaze for very long.
His eyes naturally refused to meet hers. “So, um…about this…”
Mitsuru finally broke her concentrated gaze to sigh. Thankfully, it sounded more like the kind she let out when she realized she was being too uptight, and not the one she used when someone had gotten on her last nerve. Makoto was more than happy to leave those to Akihiko.
“I may not know the details, but it’s evident you both had a…complicated night. Whatever happened, I can let it slide this time,” Mitsuru said. She nodded towards Yukari. “Take good care of her, leader.”
“Of course,” he replied.
Satisfied, Mitsuru walked off to start on the probable mountain of tasks she had lined up on any given day. Makoto let out a sigh of relief even heavier than hers had been.
He turned back to look at Yukari once more. In a stark contrast to hours ago, she looked entirely at peace. Her face was squished against his shoulder, barely hiding the content smile she wore in her sleep.
Even if Mitsuru hadn’t asked him to do so, he planned on remaining in his place until Yukari had her fill of rest. His job as a temporary human pillow was one he took very seriously, and if she needed anything else from him, even after waking up, he would be there to see it done. After all, she took care of him all the time. The least he could do was return the favor for once.
He made sure to shift their shared blanket so that it covered her more than him. Even in her sleep, she managed to latch on and bring it closer to her body, turning herself into a small cocoon of fabric. Despite that, her arms never released their hold on his.
Makoto used his free hand to push back some hair dangling too close to Yukari’s mouth, an uncharacteristically soft gesture only possible thanks to the girl’s growing influence on him.
Maybe he wasn’t certain on where they stood now, but if there was one thing he did know, it was that moments shared between them like this were more than welcome with him. He truly did look forward to growing closer to the girl dominating his mind as of late.
Yukari mumbled something under her breath. It was too quiet and garbled for Makoto to make out, but from the smile on her face, it must have made her pretty happy.
“Wonder what you’re dreaming about…” he whispered.
Though he would never tell her aloud, there was a tiny part of him that hoped he was as present in her dreams as he currently was to her sleeping form.