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Yuji was an idiot. He foolishly believed the most challenging part of defeating Sukuna would be triumphantly coming out of the battle. The aftereffects were nothing more than a flutter of childish ideas, reserved to come to the forefront of his mind only on the rare chance that he had managed to win against the king of curses. But now that such a reality had come to be, however strange and quickly it seemed to be over, the pink-haired boy thought the worst was over.
What an imbecile he was for that naive thought.
The moment the blob-like stain that was once Sukuna faded, things changed. A definite victory was hanging in the air, yet no one on the battlefield was bold enough to celebrate their triumph. Yuji collapses facedown in the dirt, groaning and wishing that he could curl into a ball and sleep for another eternity, but he knows he can’t for one simple reason.
He needed to reach Megumi.
The black-haired boy, who had quickly become something of a staple in his young life, had become nothing but a vessel for Sukuna not too long ago. Yuji had been harbouring guilt for what had happened since the beginning, but it had only grown in recent weeks as he watched that monster shamelessly puppeteering Megumi’s body and slaughtering all the most powerful sorcerers.
Against all odds, Yuji manages to clamber to his feet, stumbling towards the other side of the battlefield, closer to the young man he was shamelessly attached to. His heart drops when he sees Megumi’s limp body in one of the many craters Sukuna had created in his relentless attacks. He was covered in bleeding scratches, most much too deep for his liking, and was hardly breathing.
"No... No, no, no...!"
The sight of Megumi's motionless body lying among the shattered earth and dust made Yuji's heart sink to his stomach. Every step he took toward his friend seemed to take an eternity as he stumbled over his own feet in a mixture of desperation and exhaustion.
"No, no, no... wake up, wake up—please, wake up—don't leave me alone, please don't leave me alone...!"
Each word was a gasped plea. Unfortunately, how much the pink-haired teen begged didn't seem to matter. Megumi remained unresponsive. The blood from his wounds seemed to slow, as if there wasn’t much left in his body, and the gaps between his breaths seemed to widen.
"Come on, come on...!"
Yuji closed the distance, dropping to his knees and skidding to a stop next to Megumi. He took the raven-haired teen's hand, gripping it tightly as if some physical contact would somehow keep his best friend tethered to this world. His eyes scanned Megumi's face, desperate for any sign of life.
"Don't give up... please... please, open your eyes..."
Megumi is still mostly unresponsive but shifts slightly, a groan slipping from his lips. He is still very clearly unconscious, but it seems he can hear Yuji at the very least.
Upon hearing the sound, Yuji's heart jumped slightly in his chest. He tightened his grip on the other teen's hand as his panicked eyes once again swept over his broken form.
"Hey, hey... can you hear me? I'm here. I'm here, so don't give up, okay?"
The pink-haired boy's voice was urgent, and he was fighting between the need to shake Megumi back to awareness and the fear of causing any more damage to his already beaten-up body.
“ -ji?” the other boy asks, voice barely above a whisper.
Megumi strains himself as he cracks his eyes open before wincing and shutting them again. He takes in a single shaky, deep breath, groaning in pain as he falls nearly unconscious once more. It was clear that he was hardly clinging to life, much too injured and discouraged to try very hard to hang on.
"Don't close your eyes! Stay awake, damnit!"
Yuji was near desperate now, watching Megumi struggle to keep his eyes open. His chest felt as though it was being cleaved in half, and for a brief moment, he wanted to scream in frustration. But he couldn't because all that mattered was getting his friend to escape his despair.
"You have to stay awake! Do you hear me?!"
He brought his free hand up to Megumi's face, gently cupping the side of his cheek.
“S-so loud,” the other boy complains, though he slightly moves into Yuji’s touch, “Just let me sleep…. Please…”
It is evident that the ‘sleep’ Megumi was talking about was a bit more permanent than just a simple nap. But could Yuji really blame him? Sukuna had been wearing his body, using his face to slaughter countless sorcerers, Megumi’s own guardian included. Anyone forced to bear witness to the atrocities of Sukuna wouldn’t want to remain living.
But that would not deter Yuji from his mission.
"No! I won't let you! You're not going anywhere!"
Yuji's voice trembled as Megumi tried to lean into his touch, his heart skipping a beat. His chest ached more the more the other teen began to slip away, and it was more than the pink-haired boy could bear. So he shook the other teen, gently but firmly, as if that might jolt him into staying alive.
"Don't talk like that! I... I can't lose you! Dammit, I can't!"
A genuine look of pain crosses Megumi’s features, and he tries and fails to pull his face away from Yuji’s hand.
“Please….” he whimpers, on the verge of begging, “I don’t want to fight anymore.”
Megumi had never sounded quite this desperate before.
The sheer desperation and pain in the other boy’s voice was enough to break Yuji's heart into a thousand pieces. This wasn't like the usual stoic boy he knew. The sight alone was enough to send chills down his spine.
However, the fact that Megumi was pleading with him, trying to pull away from his touch, meant that he was still fighting. He was still alive. And that meant there was still a chance he could be saved.
So Yuji only increased his grip as best as he could without causing the other boy even more pain.
"No. I'm not letting go. You're staying with me, alright? Just hang on, dammit!"
His plea slipped out against his will as Yuji tried to keep himself together as much as he possibly could. The tears were starting to rise in his eyes again, and the urge to scream in frustration was almost overwhelming. But he had to keep himself in check, for Megumi's sake.
"I... I'm not giving up on you... so you can't either! Wake up!"
“Ita….” Megumi chokes out, “dori…”
Megumi’s voice is full of pain, a distinct desperation for something that remains unnamed between them, but the implication remains the same. The black-haired boy was so reserved about his fate, so defeated. Clearly, he didn’t believe he had a purpose in the world anymore. And even if Megumi didn’t seem to have some sort of death wish, the state of his injuries helped exacerbate the situation.
“Please…”
His voice is even weaker than before.
"No!"
Yuji practically growled. He didn't even know where the energy and determination came from, but there was no way he would sit there and let Megumi believe such things.
"You have a purpose. You have a goddamn life to live! Don't you dare give up!"
He was outright begging now, even though common sense told him that the chances of Megumi hearing him were rapidly decreasing. The tears were in full stream now, running endlessly down his face.
“It’s my fault….” Megumi whispers, “This is what should become of me… of Sukuna’s vessel.”
The black-haired boy coughs once, his entire body shaking with the force of the trembling. He was losing strength and fast. It was a wonder he even had enough strength to speak to Yuji, but then again, Megumi had always been capable of surreal things when the pink-haired boy was involved.
"No! Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up!"
If Yuji could have, he would have slapped his hand over the other boy's mouth. Hearing such stupid and self-deprecating nonsense from Megumi's mouth made tears spill from his eyes again.
"It's not your fault. And you're not his vessel! You're you. Fushiguro Megumi! You're so much more than what happened here!"
Megumi scoffs under his breath, opening his eyes once more and smiling up at Yuji. His hand shakes, weakly trembling, but he is still set on performing this task. He gently places his hand over Yuji’s hand, cupping his face.
“Stop crying,” he chokes, “It doesn’t look good on you.”
There are hundreds of unsaid words, but the pink-haired boy can understand most of what Megumi is trying to talk to him about.
He was weak, much too weak to bear the weight of what Sukuna had done while wearing his body. That, paired with the deep injuries he’d sustained, left a husk of the boy Megumi once was. This was someone who had decided that he was done fighting but was still hanging on for Yuji’s sake. At this point, Megumi was just someone who wanted to rest.
Permanently.
And it was up to Yuji to decide whether he was able to.
"How can I not cry when you look at me like that?! Don't you get it? You can't just give up like this! You can't just... you can't..."
Those words, the implication behind them, were more painful than any physical injury Yuji had ever or could ever experience. And the fact that Megumi was trying to comfort him made it so much harder because it meant that the black-haired boy had already given up.
"Please, please... just stay. For my sake... stay with me.”
Megumi rolls his eyes, or at least he tries to. What ends up happening is the black-haired man closes his eyes and heavily sighs, lungs heaving as his body tries to take in air.
“It hurts so much, Yuji,” he says clearer than his previous statements, “I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough. I don’t want to have to live with the fact that Sukuna used my body to kill so many… to kill -him-! Everything hurts: my body, my mind, my very soul… Please, you need to let me go.”
Megumi looks down at the countless deep wounds disfiguring his skin.
“I know you’re a positive person, but you must understand that this can’t be healed… Please… I’m begging…. I don’t want to be in pain anymore.”
Yuji was on the verge of hysteria now. Megumi was saying all the wrong things. Every sentence he spoke only made the other boy's heart ache to the point where he was on the verge of collapse.
"This isn't just about being positive, you idiot! This is about you! You just... You can't give up, okay? Not now, not ever! You have to recover. You have to get better because without you... I can't keep on going."
“You’re going to learn,” Megumi gasps, opening his eyes and squeezing the other man’s hand, “You’re going to do such great things, and I will be cheering you on from whatever afterlife may or may not exist.”
The black-haired boy gently cups Yuji’s cheek for a few seconds before he lets his hand fall to his side and closes his eyes again. A slight smile graces his face, and the heaving in his lungs slows quite substantially, which is a clear indication that his body is shutting down, no matter what a certain pink-haired boy might have to say about it.
“I…. love you…” he whispers, voice barely there, “Remember that… no matter what.”
It seemed fate was deciding for the both of them, tearing Megumi away from Yuji again at the precise moment that he’d just gotten him back. The other boy’s heart was still beating, but just barely. It was as if he was waiting for Yuji’s permission to let go permanently.
"No... no, no, no... No... don't, don't... don't say that now, please."
Yuji's voice was barely more than a whisper. Everything felt like it was falling apart around him. There was no way that Megumi could... that he would... leave him.
"Please don't leave me. I can't... I can't lose you, not now, not like this, please. I love you, dammit, don't leave me!"
Megumi never responds.
He’s still breathing, his heart faintly beating, but he’s unable to speak. His skin had lost most of the hues of life, and the wounds had stopped bleeding entirely, no more blood left to spill. Megumi looked… peaceful and happier than Yuji had seen him in months.
Was the pink-haired boy being selfish by wanting a doomed man to keep clinging to a life that had brought him nothing but pain? If Yuji truly loved Megumi, perhaps the better idea was to let him slip away.
But did he have the strength to do that?
Could he really watch Megumi, the boy he loved, die only seconds after getting him back?
No.
No, he couldn't.
He wouldn't.
Yuji couldn't even think about letting Megumi go. That wasn't an option. It never would be. He couldn't accept the idea of the black-haired boy's life snuffed out like a flame. He had to live. Yuji knew that with every fiber of his being, Megumi -had- to live.
And he would make damn sure of it.
At that precise moment, Yuji felt another hand on his shoulder. Toge Inumaki, the cursed speech user. And when he and the other boy made eye contact, Yuji knew he wouldn’t like what happened next.
There was a distinct sorrow in the white-haired boy’s eyes, and he was trembling as silent sobs wracked his body. Yuji didn’t need to hear it from his mouth to know what had happened. The other boy’s own lover, Yuta Okkotsu, had died as well, doomed to overexert himself by piloting the body of their deceased teacher, Gojo.
Inumaki sniffles, raising his free hand to wipe tears from his eyes. His gaze darts between Yuji and Megumi, then to the far side of the battlefield, where the limp form of the cruel combination of Yuta and Gojo lies. The white-haired boy doesn’t speak in his usual list of rice ball ingredients, but the pink-haired boy knows what he’s saying anyhow.
‘You need to let him go. I know it’s hard; I had to let go of my beloved Yuta, too. All you’re doing by wanting him to live is dooming him to a life of suffering. I know you don’t want to do it, but you need to. Give him your permission to let go… He’s only staying for you, after all. I’ll be here to comfort you after he passes, as I will need the comfort, too.’
A part of Yuji recognized the truth in Inumaki's words. The logical part, the part that kept his rationality intact, told him that the white-haired boy was right. The kindest thing to do was to let Megumi pass into the next life.
But that did nothing to ease the ache in his heart. To let Megumi go, to allow him to slip away... that would be like ripping Yuji's own soul out. It was a possibility that he absolutely couldn't bear.
"I... I can't," Yuji rasped, his voice cracking and raw. "I can't! I can't do it, I can't."
He knew how childishly he was behaving that he was practically acting like a spoiled brat, as Sukuna had always called him, unwilling to accept the world in front of him. But the mere idea that he had to say goodbye to Megumi... it was too much.
“Do it!” he hears Inumaki’s voice in his head.
When he turns his head, the cursed speech user’s mouth was not agape, meaning either Yuji was imagining Inumaki’s voice in his head, or the man’s skill had grown and he could now give commands telepathically. Either way, Yuji now had no choice. He had to do the unthinkable and let Megumi know he could let go.
Yuji sucked in a shaky breath, his eyes burning with unshed tears, knowing what Inumaki was demanding of him. He would've laughed at how absurd it was in any other scenario. But right now...
Yuji's gaze returned to Megumi, the boy he loved more than life itself. He reached out slowly, gently caressing the other boy's cheek, fingers trailing over the soft skin. Megumi looked so peaceful, so untroubled. For the first time in ages, the boy was from the pain he'd endured for so long.
"Megumi…" he whispered, voice choked, "I'm so sorry. But... It's okay. You don't have to fight anymore. You don't have to go on like this. I..."
Yuji's throat closed up, but he forced himself to keep going. He needed to say the words, no matter how much it hurt.
"I... I give you permission. You fought so well. You can... you can let go."
Megumi's heart stops when the words are out of Yuji’s mouth.
In the next moment, Inumaki is on his knees, tightly wrapping his arms around Yuji’s middle and crying into his shoulder.
“S-Sorry,” he rasps, a rare spoken word falling from his lips, “H-Had to… Only way.”
Yuji's body began to tremble, the enormity of what had just happened finally crashing down upon him. Tears streamed down his cheeks, his breaths coming in short, shuddering gasps. He clutched desperately at Inumaki's uniform as if by holding onto him, he could somehow keep himself together.
"I-I know," he managed to whisper, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I know... b-but... it... it's so hard."
Inumaki nods from his place on the pink-haired man’s shoulder, indicating his understanding of how hard it was to let go of a lover. He then squeezes the other man’s shoulder, a sign that they will get through the grief together.
He could do this, learn and grow, and eventually move on.
He and Inumaki would help each other.