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Tilting his head to the side like a confused dog, Slade stops in his tracks as he sees Lex opening and closing the cupboards in the kitchen, muttering to himself as he writes things down.
Leaning his back against the wall, Slade puts a hand on his hip as he watches Lex go over to the fridge, repeating the action. Finally interjecting when he sees Lex fling open the freezer, Slade clears his throat to get Lex's attention.
"What are you doing?" "I'm taking an inventory of everything in the kitchen for my list." Lex answers before returning to his task, flipping the page in his notebook, "Your list? What list?" Standing up straighter and walking over to Lex, trying to peek at the paper.
"The grocery list. You said you'd go to the store with me! Did you forget?" Turning to glare up at the taller man who reaches down to take the notebook in Lex's hands. "No, I remember. I just didn't expect you to make a list."
"Why wouldn't I make a list? I want to make sure we have everything we need! I don't want to get to the store, spend an hour there shopping, just to come home and realize I forgot something and have to go back out." Crossing his arms over his chest, Lex glares up at Slade when he hears him choke out a laugh.
"What's so funny about me being prepared?!" "What's funny is that you act like either of us ever cook. Seriously, look in the trashcan, it's gonna be all fastfood and take out." Smirking down at Lex, Slade loves the pout he managed to get out of him.
"Just because we don't cook doesn't mean there's not stuff we need." "This is how I know I got you, you just used three negatives in a sentence" "Oh shut it..." Snatching his book away, Lex gets out his pen and scribbles down a few more items.
"Seriously, why do you need the list?" "I told you! I like having everything I need written down so I can cross it off when I've gotten it. It's simple and I prefer it that way" Shaking his head as he listens, Slade shrugs his shoulders in defeat, knowing damn well he's fighting a losing battle.
"Fine, Fine. I give...Do you have everything you think you'll need on your list?" His tone is steeped in sarcasm and snark, but Lex answers honestly. "I still need to check the bathrooms"
"Check them for what?!" "For the toiletries! Are we good on toilet paper, do you need more toothpaste! That kind of thing!" Slade can't help the near dumbfounded look he's giving Lex. "We are fine on toilet paper, we don't need more tooth paste, but you need body soap. That good?"
Looking up at him suspiciously , Lex raises an eyebrow to Slade. "How are you so sure of all of that?" "I was literally just in the bathroom to take a shower...I just saw what we had in there. Cause ya know, I pay attention to things" Flicking Lex's nose to playfully punctuate the sentence, Slade laughs softly when he sees Lex rub the tip of his nose from the action while pouting at Slade.
"Whatever...Can we get going?" "What you wanna go now?" Lex clicks his tongue while shooting a puzzled look at Slade. "What do you mean 'Do I wanna go now' ? Of course I do. It's early on a weekday." Slade rolls his eye, realizing this might be a more difficult of a task than he initially thought when he agreed.
"Why? When did you usually go shopping?" "I like going late at night, like an hour before they close. Less people, less noise, and they've usually already started restocking their products. Why do you go so early?" "I like going early during weekdays...This way I don't have to think about having to go to the store after work. I hate having a task or chore I have to do but having to hold off until later, it feels like it eats at me the whole day."
Lex heads out of the kitchen and to the front door, slipping on his shoes before turning to Slade with an expectant look. "Well? Are you coming or are you breaking your promise?"
Slade picks up his keys before following Lex out the door, quickly doing a double check of the door to make sure he's locked it before they leave.
It's not a long drive to the supermarket, it takes less than 10 minuets but takes the pair double that time to agree on a parking spot.
"Don't park too close to the store, it'll make backing out a pain with all the incoming traffic." "Yeah but I don't want to park too far away, it'll be a fucking trek to get back with a cart full of stuff. Plus it's more likely for the car to get dinged by a shopping cart the farther down the lane you are."
The two go back and forth until they decide on a spot that both are content with, basically half way down the parking lot and on the opposite side of the road from a cart deposit. Neither are actually happy with the location of the spot but it'll do for now.
Slade goes to grab a cart from the nearest drop off but Lex calls out to stop him. "What are you doing?" "Grabbing a cart, what does it look like?" "Why are you grabbing one from out here? They might be wet from the rain this morning. Grab one from inside." Dropping his shoulders and lightly glaring, Slade squints while walking back to Lex sans cart. "This is gonna be a painful grocery run...isn't it?"
Giving no verbal answer yet his glare at Slade speaking volumes, Lex continues into the store. Reaching for a cart, Slade stops and looks back to Lex as if asking for approval. "This one good?" "I'm not that picky Wilson..." Pouting as he flips open his notebook, Lex takes out his pen from his pocket and taps the instrument to the paper.
"You kinda are." Slade picks up a case of water near the front and places it in the bottom of the cart while Lex crosses it off the list. Slade pushes the cart towards the produce and bakery section since it's closes to where they are.
"What are you doing?" "Getting the produce? It's literally right here." "No we do produce and frozen stuff last" "...But it's right here!" "We have to come back this way to leave and the produce might get damaged!" Looking at the shorter male completely dumbfounded, Slade can feel his eye twitch in annoyance.
"We're only buying apples, grapes, and bananas! Let's just pick them up now!" "Why the hell would we start with produce?!" "Why do you have a designated starting place! Just go down all the aisles and get what you need from them!"
Lex looks genuinely offended and disgusted at the statement. "God no! You start with your drinks to get the base of your cart settled then household items like paper products, toiletries, and other inedible items, then go on to boxed and canned goods! Then cold products likes veggies, meats, dairy items!" "You have an actual fucking order for that!?"
"It's clearly organized by department on the list Wilson!" Holding his up to the other angrily, Lex glares at the disregard for organization. "Fuck off...God damn it Lex. Just go down the aisles and put what want in the cart! There's no need to overthink things!"
"You can't just throw things in haphazardly! If you group them together in the cart then it's easier to bag them! Then that makes it easier to put them back in the cart after you scan them!"
"What the fuc-what do you mean after you scan them?! Don't tell me you use that self-checkout bullshit..." "Of course I do! I don't need people judging what I buy or talking to me about nothing while I'm just trying to get my groceries!"
"You are so god damn antisocial holy fuck..." Hanging his head in annoyance as he pushes the cart down the aisles, Slade is half leaning across bar as he walks. Lex is methodically picking out which one of each item he wants, checking the dates, being over cautious about the quality of the packaging...Every extra step slowly draining Slade of his will the be here.
"You know what...Why don't I take half the list, grab a little basket and get some of the other stuff...Help us get out of here quicker?" Turning his head to face the man, Lex gives him a curious look. "Ok...here." Jotting down the produce and dairy items they would need, Lex hands Slade the list as the taller man walks passed him.
"Meet me in the bakery ok?" Giving just a wave of his hand as acknowledgement while he walks away, Slade heads out of the aisle and back to the front of the store to collect a basket. Making his way back over to the produce aisle, Slade looks down at the list Lex gave him before groaning in annoyance.
"You gotta be fucking kidding me..." Lex was so through in his list, that he left explicit instructions on how many and what kind of each items to buy. Examples? Instead of 'Apples' He wrote 'Get 3 medium sized golden delicious, 4 larger Pink lady apples, and grab a few granny smith if they look good.'... He left notes like that for every single item he gave Slade to get...
"Yeah I'm not doing all that..." Slade grabbed a handful of each apples he thought looked good and wrapped them in the plastic bag. Moving along to bananas? Same thing. By this point, Slade isn't even really reading the notes, he's just looking at the item and throwing it in his basket.
Moving onto dairy, Slade takes the list back out and gives it a once over. "I am not just getting one thing of ice cream...that little shit knows I need a variety..." Grabbing two different forms of ice cream, Slade goes to move onto the milk but takes two steps backward after a new product caught his eye 'Multi flavor mixed sherbet packs'
"Fuck..." Contemplating for just a second before reaching into the freezer to grab a box, Slade is about to throw it into his basket when he realizes it's nearly full...mostly of ice cream and other snacks he threw in absentmindedly while walking around.
A new chip flavor here, a pack of energy drinks there, another box of sugary cereal he knows Kon likes, a decent selection of ice cream, and the produce he didn't pay much attention to...His basket is nearly overflowing...and he still has more to get.
He's been defeated by his own impulsiveness...not that he'd ever tell Lex that, but he does start looking around for him. Walking out of the aisle and heading towards the bakery, Slade doesn't see Lex standing there, so by all accounts he must still be shopping. "Huh..." Heading back, Slade has quickened his pace as he walks passed and quickly looks down every aisle. Stopping only when he sees Lex looking over the chip selection.
Slade tries to sneak up on Lex, his plan to dump some of his items in the cart without him realizing but drops all sneakiness when he sees that Lex's cart is only half full. "What the hell, Luthor!" The sudden call out makes Lex jump, clutching the list to his chest in shock as he whips around to look at Slade.
"Jesus don't scare me like that! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"And you're going to give m an aneurysm! Why is the cart only half full!? You haven't gotten any of the frozen or the other drinks yet!"
"Well why is your basket filled with junkfood! And I told you not to grab so many bananas! They always go bad!"
As Slade is depositing his basket into the cart, he gets smacked in the arm by Lex. "Hey! What now?!" "Don't put the produce down there! It'll get bruised! Put it up here in the little seat" "Oh you are such a nag today!" Moving what he just placed, Slade glares at Lex before his attention falls on two college aged looking girls at the end of the aisle looking at them and whispering.
Lex doesn't miss the glare Slade but squints as he follows Slade's gaze passed him. Turning his head to see where exactly Slade is looking, Lex sees the two girls whispering to one another and turns around with a blush on his face. Slade sees the embarrassed look on Lex's face but says nothing as he grabs the bar on the cart and pushes it towards the other end of the aisle.
Instinctively following Slade, Lex has to hurry to catch up with him as he walks. "You ok?" " 'm fine..." Slade is aware that one of Lex's biggest social triggers is the thought of someone talking or laughing about him like that. Hey, he's not Lex Luthor's body guard for nothing.
"Sorry I was taking so long...I couldn't remember what chips you like..." Fuck...now Slade feels bad for being kind of a dick sense Lex was being slow on his account. "It's all good...got a new flavor I think you'd ...It's a baked hickory, you liked the regular version last time but I know you said you preferred the baked chips." "Oh...Thanks Slade..." "No problem..."
They share a smile as they continue, every once in a while stopping to either chat or playfully bicker while shop. "You might like this sherbet I got" Lex peeks over and chuckles when he sees the box. "What's funny?" "Konner asked me to pick that up. He said that it's kind of blowing up on the internet." "...Im going to go get a 2nd box them"
Watching as Slade quickly rounds the corner back to the ice cream section, Lex goes and gets the milk and eggs, gently placing them in the cart as Slade chucks a second box in. "Not that I mind but I am curious...Why'd ya get two boxes?"
"Listen if Kon wants to do fucking internet challenges and trends that's fine, but I'll be damned if he's eating all my fucking sherbet."
Lex laughs a little louder than he planned at that and Slade absolutely glares down anyone who dares look in their direction while he does. "Even though I foot the bill for it I always for it, I always forget just how much of a sweet tooth you have." "I like my snacks, sue me"
"Listen Slade...I know I can be kind...I get that I was...Picky about the shopping...I-I'm sorry..."
"Eh knock it off, I was a dick too...I shouldn't get so on your ass so much..."
"I mean...I kinda like you on my ass sometimes..." Giving Slade a trying smile, Lex playfully nudges his partner's arm as they walk. Chuckling himself, Slade picks up a can of whip cream from the cart and holds it up to Lex with a grin. "What do you think this is for?"
"Oh knock it off! Don't be so vulgar in the store!" His voice in a hushed whisper, his face red, but there's genuine affection in his tone.
The pair continue on and soon head to the checkout. Lex pressures Slade into using the self checkout so he doesn't need to talk to anyone else and he begrudgingly agrees.
They managed to survive the grocery shopping together...the hard part now?
Neither of these idiots can remember where they parked...