Chapter Text
It was Christmas Eve. Snake was in the center mall looking around for some decorations and ingredients for the dishes him and Gojo were going to prepare. The mall was busy with a bunch of people, either laughing or singing along to the songs that were playing in the background. As Snake was walking around the mall he noticed a bunch of familiar faces, Hybrid and Desdemona teasing each other, Mizuki and Hope taking pictures around the Christmas Tree and many more. As he walked around he couldn’t help but also stumble upon the one and only DOOM, who seemed like he wasn’t alone this time. Snake sneaked around, getting a closer look at them and hearing what he was saying.
-”DOOM is telling you, Peter. This plan is extraordinary. We sneak into the house, make sure that that wretched snake is knocked out and we steal Gojo.” said DOOM before chuckling, Peter looked at him for a bit and grunted.
-”I don’t know, Doctor... Can’t we just invite Gojo to our place and kick Snake out?” said Peter.
-”What are you, a moron? That’s the most obvious way of ‘kidnapping’ someone. And also, Snake would probably blow us up, dude is full of explosions on himself. One wrong move with that guy and you blow up.” explained DOOM before hitting Peter over the head.
-”Awh, well I don’t think that your plan will work either. Because I’m sure that now that they are married they sleep together.” replied Peter.
-”Ah [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] , yeah, you are right. So then what do we do?” asked DOOM.
-”Hm.. We knock both of them out properly, tie Snake to whatever chair there is in the house and steal Gojo as well as all the presents. Can’t forget the presents!” replied Peter.
-”Yes… YES! [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] this is genius, how did DOOM not think of this. Yes, we tie Snake up to the most uncomfortable chair and we steal all the presents. Yeah...“ said DOOM, rubbing his hands together in an evil manner. They chuckled together and Snake immediately walked away.
As he was walking and picking up the necessary stuff, he started thinking about a plan. As he was in his deep thinking state, Mizuki decided to bump into him on purpose and bring him back to reality.
-”Snake! Are you alright?” asked Mizuki to which Snake grunted and looked away.
-”I’m fine, what do you want?” replied Snake.
-”Well I thought I’d check on you since Hope is busy looking for a gift for me and you know, I’m not allowed to look or be with her.” replied Mizuki.
-”Ah.. Ok.” replied Snake before looking at his cart and then at his shopping list, Mizuki looked at him.
-”You are more quiet than usual.. Did something happen?” asked Mizuki, Snake looked at her then back at his list.
-”No... Just know I won’t be joining the Christmas party.” replied Snake, Mizuki looked at him shocked.
-”What!? Why!? Snoop Dogg, Mariah Carey and other cool people will be there!” said Mizuki, Snake sighed.
-”...Mizuki. I will tell you something, but promise me you won’t tell anyone else.” said Snake quietly, Mizuki heard and nodded.
-”I won’t tell anyone else except Hope.” replied Mizuki.
-”...Ok..” said Snake, moving closer to her. “I overheard DOOM and Peter planning something, I need to stay home. Promise me while I’m gone, you will make sure Gojo won’t have a bad time at the party.” Mizuki looked at him a bit surprised then nodded.
-”Got it! You can count on me and Hope!” whispered Mizuki back to Snake, he nodded and pulled back.
-”Thanks, now, since Hope doesn’t let you hang with her, why don’t you come and help me out with the last few items I need to pick up.” said Snake to which Mizuki nodded.
-”Sure!” replied Mizuki as she started following Snake around.
As they were walking and picking up the last few things, Mizuki looked at Snake.
-”Yo, Snake, what did you get Gojo for Christmas?” asked Mizuki before placing something in the cart, Snake looked at her a bit skeptical.
-”...I don’t think I can trust you on this one...“ replied Snake.
-”Come on, I won’t tell Gojo, I just want to know if we got him the same thing.” replied Mizuki, Snake looked at her a bit surprised.
-”You got him something for Christmas?” asked Snake.
-”Of course! I got you something for Christmas too!” replied Mizuki.
-”Uhhhhh... Well... Thanks..? Anyway I got him a guitar, some clothes and different glasses.” replied Snake.
-”Ah okay, I got him a cat!” said Mizuki happily, Snake sighed.
-”I don’t think that’s a good idea..” replied Snake.
-”Yeah I know, I’m just kidding, I actually crocheted a sweater for him.” said Mizuki.
-”Is it an ugly one? I need another reason to make fun of him.” replied Snake with a grin.
-”No! It’s with a cat!” replied Mizuki to which Snake chuckled.
-”Even better. I can call him a furry now.” replied Snake happily, Mizuki chuckled a bit.
-”You are such a mean person, you know that?” said Mizuki to which Snake grinned.
-”You call me a mean person, a [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] and whatnot, but you never called me a liar. I won!” replied Snake as he walked to the checkout area.
-”Oh wow, very clever! You are lucky I don’t have written down the whole Mr. Solid Snake thingy..” replied Mizuki as she started helping Snake out with the check-out.
-”Good, it’s too long for a little girl like you anyway.” replied Snake with a grin, as he kept checking things out.
-”Oh and I’m sure Gojo loves long things, that’s why he can memorise it.” said Mizuki.
-”Yep.” replied Snake as they kept checking-out.
Once they were done they went to the Christmas Tree.
-”Well Snake, it was fun helping you out, unfortunately I have to wait here for the wife.” said Mizuki, Snake nodded.
-”Alright, have fun you two, and I hope you will enjoy the Christmas party together.” replied Snake with a smirk.
-”Haha, very funny. But thank you Snake, Merry Christmas!” said Mizuki with a smile before hugging him.
-”Merry Christmas to you too.” replied Snake, hugging her back before leaving. Once he was outside the mall, he teleported away on Gojo’s Island. Gojo has already decorated the outside with various things such as glowing reindeer, snowmen and glowing christmas trees.
Snake got to the house and walked inside.
-”I’m home.” said Snake before placing the groceries aside, taking off his outside clothes and putting his bandana away.
-”DAVE!” said Gojo before rushing to him and jumping on him, hugging him tight. “Welcome home!”
-”Argh, Yeah. Can you get off of me? My back hurts.” murmured Snake, Gojo let go of him and raised an eyebrow.
-”How come your back hurts? You never complained about it.” said Gojo.
-”Nah, I lied.” replied Snake with a grin.
-”You [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] having me worried over your lying [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] ! Ugh! How could you?” replied Gojo, acting all dramatic.
-”Easy, white stuff. You wouldn’t want to melt from all this heated drama now would ya?” said Snake before picking up half the groceries and Gojo the other half, following Snake in the kitchen.
-”Your white stuff never melts tho.” replied Gojo between quiet giggles, Snake looked at him a bit shocked and embarrassed.
-”Can you not.” replied Snake to which Gojo bursted out laughing.
-”Sorry, I love teasing you.” replied Gojo before starting to unpack the groceries along with Snake.
-”Yeah yeah..” murmured Snake.
As they were unpacking, Christmas songs could be heard playing in the back on the record player.
-”You managed to crack the record player?” asked Snake.
-”Yeah, I modified it. Now it can play international songs as well as songs from the internet.” replied Gojo.
-”Damn, good job.” replied Snake before finishing putting the last things in their spot, leaving only the decorations and a few packs of cigarettes.
-”..Hey Satoru, I need to tell you something.” said Snake before picking up his packs and putting them in his pockets.
-”Yeah what’s up?” said Gojo, looking at him.
-”I won’t join you in the Christmas party.” said Snake, Gojo looked at him shocked and a bit mad.
-”What? Why? Everyone will be there! Raiden too! You can’t leave that kid alone, he is from the same game as you!” replied Gojo, Snake grunted.
-”I’m not feeling well... Satoru... Please, understand.” said Snake, trying to act all tired, Gojo looked at him and through his act.
-”Buddy, that won’t work.” replied Gojo with a serious tone, Snake walked up to him and leaned against him dramatically.
-”Satoruuuuuuuu pleaseeeeeeeeee.” said Snake, Gojo looked down at him disappointed, not responding.
-”Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I’ll be good, I promise.” murmured Snake before getting on his knees, Gojo looked down at him a bit surprised, he blushed slightly.
-”Ugh fine. Just stop begging.” replied Gojo to which Snake immediately got up and looked at him with a grin.
-”Ah, I knew I could count on your weakness for begging. Thank you sweetie, you’ll be glad you made this decision.” replied Snake with a cocky grin, Gojo rolled his eyes.
-”Whatever! Just... try not to destroy everything, alright?” said Gojo.
-”Yeah, yeah. While we’re at it, we should decorate our house as well. It looks quite plain and boring on the inside.” replied Snake, pointing over to the boxes of unused decorations.
-”Obviously! I was just waiting for you to come home from shopping!” said Gojo, before picking up one of the boxes and decorating around the living room. Snake looked at the boxes, noticing they had written on them different places around the house, he picked up the kitchen one and began decorating around the kitchen. As he kept decorating around he noticed that there were some missing pieces.
-”Satoru, can you come here?” asked Snake and Gojo immediately walked up to him.
-”What’s up?” asked Gojo looking at him.
-”Some of the decorations are broken or have missing pieces.” replied Snake, Gojo looked away ashamed.
-”Yeah.. Throw them away... I don’t want to think about last year's Christmas.. This is also why I asked you to buy new decorations.. Just use the new ones..” replied Gojo looking away ashamed.
-”What happened last year?” asked Snake, before picking up new decorations.
-”Uhm... I don’t want to talk about it..” murmured Gojo, Snake looked at him then away.
-”Alright then.” replied Snake, continuing to decorate the kitchen, Gojo looked at him then away.
-”Alright, well, uhm, let’s just say... a bunch of people weren’t here just for Christmas and gift exchanging... Not a fun experience..” murmured Gojo before walking away. Snake looked at him then back at the decorations.
They kept decorating around the house and eventually both ended up decorating the front hallway.
-”Well, this shouldn’t be that hard since it’s the two of us.” said Gojo.
-”Yeah.” said Snake before picking up the lights and begging to set them around, Gojo looked at him and grinned, rubbing his hands together. Snake noticed him.
-”Satoru, if you think about slapping my [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] while I’m hanging the lights, you should also think about hanging yourself along with the lights.” said Snake.
-”Too bad I don’t think!” replied Gojo before slapping Snake’s ass then giggling and quickly picking up decorations, Snake yelped and looked at him annoyed.
-”You [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] .” said Snake, annoyed to which Gojo kept giggling and putting decorations around.
-”Oh come on, you had it coming. Don’t be grumpy, my short king.” replied Gojo teasingly as he kept placing decorations, Snake grunted annoyed and decided to ignore him as he kept placing the lights around the hallway.
Once they were done, Gojo walked up to Snake and chuckled.
-”Are you ready to make gingerbread men with me?” asked Gojo with a grin on his face.
-”No. You definitely have something planned and I don’t like it.” replied Snake to which Gojo chuckled.
-”Why do you think that?” asked Gojo.
-”Your grin speaks volumes.” replied Snake.
-”Nah, now let’s go, pookie! We got some men to make!” said Gojo excitedly before picking up Snake, putting him over his shoulder and walking to the kitchen, Snake gasped and looked at him shocked, he held tight onto him. Once he was in the kitchen he placed Snake on the counter.
-”I hate you so much.” said Snake, annoyed.
-”Awh, I love you too!” replied Gojo, looking at him with a warm smile, Snake looked at him grumpy before getting off the counter. Gojo picked up the recipe book and started looking for the easiest gingerbread recipe. Once he found one he showed Snake who nodded in agreement with him.
-”Ok, well, I’ll pick up the things from the fridge you go pick up the flour.” said Gojo, struggling not to giggle, Snake didn’t notice and opened the shelf where they keep the flour. As soon as he picked it up, it exploded all over him. Snake slowly turned around, looking really mad at Gojo who was laughing his soul out. He walked up to him slapping him across the face then slapping his ass.
-”Double revenge.” replied Snake, Gojo fell on the floor, still laughing.
-”Fair enough...” said Gojo between chuckles, his face was covered in flour too, Snake looked down at him and shook off the flour from his face and hair onto Gojo, covering him in as much flour as he was in right now.
-”Geez, you are so white you can hardly notice the flour on you, you goddamn ghost.” said Snake, Gojo chuckled and got up.
-”Yeah I know...“ replied Gojo with a big smile, Snake sighed.
-”Thankfully I bought some non-set-up-to-be-prank flour from the store..” said Snake before picking up another bag of flour.
-”Yeah, yeah. Well, I guess we can get started on making gingerbread men..” said Gojo who was immediately cut off by Snake sneezing really hard multiple times. Snake looked at him with watery eyes and a runny nose.
-”Yeah..” murmured Snake, Gojo looked at him and laughed really hard before taking a picture of him.
-”Straight to Mizuki and Hope!” said Gojo before putting his phone away and giving Snake a towel, Snake cleaned his nose and face, making sure no flour was getting near his nose anymore.
-”I hate you so, so much.” murmured Snake.
-”Love you too!” replied Gojo as he began following the instructions in the book. Snake looked at him and then at the recipe and began helping him.
As they were making the dough, Snake kept looking at Gojo in case he planned something but as he was looking at him he remembered what he heard earlier that day, he sighed and kept helping Gojo. Once they were done with placing the gingerbread men in the oven Snake sat down, Gojo immediately sat down on his lap, hugging him.
-”Daveeeeeeeee, why can’t you come to the party..?” asked Gojo, Snake sighed and held him.
-”I just can't. I have things to do..” replied Snake, Gojo looked at him.
-”It’s okay if you didn’t buy me a Christmas gift, I just want to spend Christmas Eve with you.” said Gojo.
-”It’s not that, and even so, we are spending it together now, I don’t see a problem with this.” said Snake.
-”Shut your acoustic mouth up, of course you don’t see a problem with this.” said Gojo, Snake looked at him annoyed. Gojo sighed and looked at him a bit sad.
-”I just want someone to share the fun with, and you are that someone, but you choose to stay home like a grumpy old man..” murmured Gojo before putting his head down on Snake’s shoulder, Snake sighed.
-”I promise you it’s for a valid reason.. I just.. can’t tell you now..” said Snake, Gojo sighed.
-”Of course you can’t..” murmured Gojo, Snake sighed and held him tighter, refusing to elaborate any further.
As they were waiting for the gingerbread men to cook, Gojo fell asleep. Snake noticed and held him tighter, as he was holding onto him he got a call, he answered it and it was none other than Mizuki.
-”Snake! You were right, DOOM and Peter are planning something. I just saw them pack a bunch of tools, be careful when they come to your place.” said Mizuki.
-”Damn. What tools?” asked Snake quietly.
-”A crowbar, some rope and sticks of dynamite.” responded Mizuki, with a bit of fear.
-”Holy [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] , it’s like they’re preparing for a war.” murmured Snake quietly.
-”I know, right? You better get prepared. That’s all I have to say. Do not answer the door, at all.” replied Mizuki.
-”Mizuki, I’m not 5.” replied Snake, annoyed yet still quietly, trying not to wake up Gojo.
-”Still, you gotta prepare with some weapons, possibly even traps. Maybe not too destructive.” said Mizuki.
-”Yeah. I got this.” said Snake.
-”I trust you, also why are you whispering?” asked Mizuki.
-”Gojo is sleeping on me.” replied Snake quietly.
-”Ah. Well good bye and good luck then!” said Mizuki before closing the call.
Snake sighed and checked the timer, only 2 minutes left until the gingerbread men were done. He began shaking Gojo slightly.
-”Wake up, [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] !” said Snake, Gojo murmured and hugged him tighter.
-”Do I have to?” murmured Gojo.
-”Yes. The men are done.” replied Snake to which Gojo chuckled.
-”Mmmm.. men.” murmured Gojo before he got up and rubbed his eyes. Snake got up as well and checked on the gingerbread men. He noticed that they were well baked so he turned off the oven and put his gloves on. He picked up the trays and placed them on the stove.
-”There we go. Thank god we got icing.. I couldn’t be asked to make it from scratch.” said Snake, Gojo chuckled and before he could say something Snake turned around and looked at him grumpy. “Don’t you even dare.” Gojo chuckled.
-”Come on.. You are so grumpy about it but when we do it you are always coming up with stuff like that.” said Gojo between chuckles.
-”Well we aren’t doing anything now, are we? Therefore we don’t talk about that kind of stuff.” replied Snake, Gojo smirked.
-”But we could..” murmured Gojo before hugging Snake from behind.
-”I don’t think you want to be late to your little Christmas party, Cinderella.” replied Snake.
-”I wouldn’t mind it, if you were the case.” murmured Gojo, Snake chuckled.
-”Yeah, no way I let you do any of that. Maybe we should start being more responsible.” replied Snake before starting to look for the icing, Gojo still holding onto him.
-”Ughh you are no fun...“ murmured Gojo a bit annoyed.
-”I know, I know. But I don’t want your students to worry too much about you being late. What if they think you got kidnapped or something..” said Snake before picking the icing.
-”And so what if I was kidnapped, I know you’ll come and find me.” replied Gojo, Snake turned around and looked at him a bit surprised.
-”You trust me too much.” replied Snake.
-”No, I just trust you. I know you’ll do anything for me, even go to the edge of the world. To be fair, I’d do that too.” said Gojo, Snake didn’t say anything and just looked at him as he began thinking. Gojo looked back at him, somewhat uneasy by Snake’s awkward silence. Snake looked beyond him, lost in his own thoughts.
-”Dave? Why are you quiet all of a sudden?” asked Gojo, shaking Snake slightly. Snake shook his head.
-”Eh, no reason. Now let’s colour the icing and decorate the gingerbread men..” said Snake before walking to the trays which have finally cooled off. He placed the icing in different bowls, colouring them, then began icing a few gingerbread men.
-”Even after all this time together you still manage to scare me..” said Gojo as he began decorating the gingerbread men.
-”You’ll get used to it eventually..” said Snake as he kept decorating the gingerbread men.
They decorated all the gingerbread men, half of them representing their friends and the other half looking like your average gingerbread men cookie. Once they were done, they placed them on a plate and began cleaning the kitchen. Soon enough they were done with that too.
-”Well, this was fun, but I should get ready.” said Gojo.
-”Yeah, I know, don’t take too long in the bathroom, Cinderella!” replied Snake, Gojo pouted.
-”Yeah yeah!” said Gojo, going into the bedroom to pick up a few clothes before going into the bathroom.
Snake was left all alone, giving him time to think of a plan for when DOOM and Peter decide to come. He pulled out a hologram of their house and began looking for all possible entrances. He began writing down a plan and getting ready, checking both his inventory and the house’s inventory for all the necessary materials. As he kept planning he heard the bathroom door open so he immediately made everything disappear. Gojo came into the kitchen, looking at Snake confused.
-”Well aren’t you acting odd today..” said Gojo, Snake looked at him then away.
-”...no.” replied Snake.
-”Uh huh.. Well, I’m all set and ready to go!” said Gojo before walking up to Snake.
-”Okay, take care. If something happens, call me.” replied Snake to which Gojo chuckled.
-”I will.” said Gojo before stealing a quick kiss, Snake smiled.
-”Also, tell Raiden I’m sorry, and give him this.” said Snake before pulling out a big gift. Gojo looked at him surprised.
-”What the [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] is this?” asked Gojo before picking up the gift and placing it in his inventory.
-”You’ll see. Wouldn’t want to spoil the fun...“ responded Snake.
-”Dave, I swear to all Gods above if it’s a [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] nuke.” said Gojo, annoyed. Snake chuckled.
-”You think too much for someone who lacks brain cells. Now go, Cinderella! Your chaise is waiting for you!” said Snake to which Gojo whined.
-”I wish.. But there is no chaise.. And there is no pretty prince. My pretty prince is being a little [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] that refuses to leave the house..” said Gojo, Snake rolled his eyes and smirked.
-”Yeah yeah. Now go!” said Snake before opening a portal to the front door of the house the party was at, and pushing Gojo through it. He waved goodbye with a huge grin on his face before closing the portal, Gojo whined.
-”Now that he is out of the way I better get started with the plan.” said Snake to himself.
Snake pulled out all the traps and materials he needed and placed them all over the kitchen table, he pulled out his plan and looked through it. He first started with the hallway, placing traps on the ceiling from the front door and windows. He also changed the door knob with a really hot one, he also placed oil on the hallway floor making sure there’s a really hard way of making any progress in the hallway. He then placed weight traps under the carpets, making it so anyone over 90 kgs will instantly fall in the basement. In the living room, he placed a bunch of legos and broken glass and at the end, 3 lasers that if they were stepped on they’d activate torchblowers from the ceiling. He then moved to the hallway that led to the kitchen, the bedroom and the bathroom where he put glue all over the floor. He changed the water in the kitchen and the bathroom with kerosene while he was in the kitchen. He also placed a feather trap inside the fridge in case they plan on using ice. In the bedroom, he barricaded the window with the bed, placing a catching rope around the basement entrance which was under the bed. Snake then locked the bedroom door and moved onto the attic, he cut a part of the floor then covered it with a carpet. He then teleported to the basement where he set traps, like a catch trap and poison darts. Once he was done with setting all the traps, he teleported on the rooftop and took out a cigarette, lighting it up and smoking as he looked up at the falling snow.
-”Oh, Satoru is so going to kill me.” murmured Snake under his breath as he kept smoking. Unfortunately for him, he noticed DOOM and Peter slowly approaching so he got off the rooftop and hid in the attic under a box, checking the cameras.
DOOM and Peter got to the front door and looked at each other.
-”Ok, DOOM, I go through the front door and you go through the living room. Trust me on this one.” said Peter.
-”Oki doki!” replied DOOM with a cutesy voice before going around the house.
-”Ok Peter, it’s time to get that Asian back.” murmured Peter.
He put his hand on the doorknob, getting ready to open the door. But before he knew it, he was screaming and running around because his hand was burning. He fell on the ice and crawled towards the snow, shoving his hand in the snow. Snake chuckled and changed his view on DOOM, who finally got to the living room window, he broke the window and immediately jumped through it. Despite having metal shoes, he could still feel the feet pain. He screamed and began hopping around, looking for a flat place, as he kept walking forward he stepped on the glass, which was less painful than the lego. He then slowly walked forward, trying to get past the glass. While DOOM was busy with the glass Peter finally cooled off his hand, he pulled out his crowbar and broke the window. He noticed DOOM but he didn’t see him struggling so he didn’t expect any more traps. He jumped through the window and immediately slipped on oil. He looked up, seeing the trap on the ceiling which activated, causing him to get knocked down. DOOM noticed and looked at him annoyed.
-”Oh, come on! Are you that stupid?” asked DOOM, Peter was holding onto his knee, groaning in pain.
DOOM rolled his eyes and walked forward, not noticing the lasers. Before he knew it he was on fire, he screamed in pain and began running around causing all the lasers to go off at the same time. He immediately rushed to where he knew the bathroom was but didn’t notice the glue on the floor that slowed him down. DOOM saw that the kitchen was the closest so he rushed to the kitchen. Snake was giggling his soul out looking at them, Peter heard him but was too busy groaning in pain. DOOM finally reached the kitchen but noticed how small the sink was so he opened the fridge only to be bombarded by a bunch of feathers, causing them to burn as well. He screamed but in pain and from annoyance so he rushed to the bathroom. He soon got to the bathroom and jumped in the bathtub which was full of kerosene. DOOM blew up the whole bathroom, including his new and polished armour. Peter panicked and immediately rushed to him, he opened the door only to find a carbonated DOOM in a bathtub.
-”DOOM’s gonna kill that little brat!” murmured DOOM, Peter nodded.
-”Yeah.. But can you revive me...?” asked Peter, DOOM grunted and nodded, he got out and walked up to him, reviving him.
-”Thanks” said Peter before getting up and giving DOOM a medkit, using one himself. Once they were both 100 hp they got out the bathroom, only to find Snake on the other end of the hallway.
-”Kept you waiting, huh? Don’t tell me you guys give up, or are you thirsty for more?” said Snake mockingly.
-”Get that [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] !” said Peter while rushing straight to him, DOOM following behind him while moving as fast as they can through the glue section. Snake looked at them scared and immediately climbed up the stairs to the attic. Peter and DOOM soon followed, getting up on the ladder and noticing Snake at the end of the attic all scared and looking for a way out, but noticing the paint buckets, acting like he didn’t plan ahead.
-”Heads up!” said Snake, as he threw a paint bucket hanging by the rope towards Peter.
-”Oh, f-” said Peter, as the bucket hits and makes both DOOM and Peter fall.
-”Come on, you Snake. Can’t think of something original?” said DOOM, as he got up and brushed off dust.
-”Nope, now are you going to catch me or nah?” said Snake from the attic. Peter got up and started climbing the stairs, DOOM following after, they double checked before stepping foot in the attic. They noticed there were no traps, just a small scared Snake. They both rushed in to jump him, but immediately fell through the hole Snake made earlier, as well as through the weight traps, causing them to fall in the basement. Snake looked down at them and giggled.
-”Cheer up! I will tell Gojo you came by!” said Snake, as he snapped a picture of both of them.
-”Come on, DOOM. We gotta get him before he gets us!” said Peter, as he got off DOOM, again, rushing through the basement, stepping in a poison trap, causing arrows with poisons to come out the walls, they screamed and ran down the hallway, eventually finding a ladder. They got up the ladder at the same time and ended up in the bedroom, causing the catching trap to go off and tying them up together. Snake unlocked the bedroom door and looked at them with a warm smile.
-”What a catch! I can’t wait to tell Gojo about you two!” said Snake mockingly, before snapping another picture of them.
-”Put us down you filthy Snake!” said Peter.
-”After the way you called me? Mmm I don’t think so!” replied Snake.
-”Damn you, Snake!” responded DOOM annoyed trying to ease the tie but to no luck.
-”Come on, cheer up! At least the Christmas lights won’t be the only thing hanging this year!” replied Snake with a grin.
-”Screw you!” said Peter.
-”Nah, I’m good, now if you’d excuse me, I have a house to repair.” said Snake before leaving and beginning to edit the house back to normal. As he was doing that DOOM and Peter looked around the bedroom bored. Noticing that there weren’t any pictures of them anymore. Only pictures of Snake, Gojo, Mizuki and Hope hanging out together. Occasionally with other people too.
-”How come Gojo forgot about us so easily!?” asked Peter.
-”He didn’t forget us, we got replaced by that wretched Snake, like a new toy! God, DOOM hates him! DOOM hates him so much! DOOM hates what he’s done to our beloved Gojo!” replied DOOM annoyed.
-”Yeah, but he wasn’t happy with us, was he?” responded Peter.
-”He laughed and we had more fun with him anyway.” said DOOM.
-”But was it a genuine laugh?” said Peter.
-”No, but DOOM doesn’t care! DOOM has seen him happy with us! He shouldn’t be complaining.” responded DOOM.
-”Yeah, you are right! We gave him everything!” said Peter.
-”Everything you wanted to give him and what you thought was right for him. But you never knew what he truly wanted. Nor did you care.” said Snake.
-”Who are you to talk about what he wants or what he doesn’t. All that matters is what he needs and what he should be.” replied DOOM.
-”His husband, that’s what I am and I will tell you this, he never needed you two. You both used his weakness for his students for your advantage. I bet you don’t even know his full name.” said Snake.
-”Of course we do! It’s .. uh.. It’s with K for sure!” said Peter.
-”Yeah! Because Chinese people have funny names with K!” replied DOOM. Snake looked at them disappointed.
-”Like Ku Klux!” said Peter, DOOM slowly turned to him (were you gonna say smth funny or..?)
-”...I’m not even gonna bother at this point with you two..” said Snake, annoyed.
Before DOOM could say something, the sound of the front door opening could be heard.
-”Daveeeeeeeeeee, the party's over.. I’m back home!” said Gojo, looking around the house, noticing something has happened from the scrap that was placed in the boxes on the front door.
-”Hub, where are you? What happened?” asked Gojo with a whiny tired voice as he walked up to Snake then noticing DOOM and Peter hanging.
-”WHAT THE [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] IS THIS SNAKE!? WHAT THE [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] HAPPENED HERE?” asked Gojo worried, pulling his hair out with stress.
-”AY! CALM DOWN! This is why I didn’t want to come to the party! I overheard them talking in the mall about wanting to kidnap you and take you to them so I had to stop them! Home alone style!” explained Snake, Gojo looked at him worried and tired.
-”Please, just get rid of them.” said Gojo.
-”Come on baby, give us one more chance.” said DOOM with pleading eyes, to which Gojo turned around and prepared his hollow purple.
-”DON’T CALL ME THAT!” said Gojo before kicking them both out using his hollow purple. He was breathing heavily and looked at Snake worried.
-”Are you okay? you are more stressed than usual..” asked Snake worried.
-”Yeah, it’s just.. I’m still not over those times.. And.. I still get flashbacks..” replied Gojo reaching for his nape but Snake quickly placed his hand before him there.
-”It’s fine, you are fine.. I should’ve gotten rid of them first before you came home..” said Snake gently stroking his back, Gojo sighed.
-”Yeah..” replied Gojo, Snake quickly edited the bedroom back to normal.
(the pink stuff means mildly gay :3 :( don’t read, just trust me vro LMAO BRO GAVE UP)
-”Come on, why don’t we take a warm shower?” asked Snake, Gojo looked at him surprised.
-”Oh yeah, you still have flour in your hair..” said Gojo.
-”Yeah... Had to move quickly before they came..” replied Snake looking away.
-”Fair.” responded Gojo before walking to the bathroom and getting the bathtub ready. Gojo then took off his clothes and Snake looked at him, Gojo gestured him to turn around and so he did, taking off his clothes as well. Gojo got in the bathtub and Snake followed after him. Snake looked at Gojo’s clothes and noticed they were dirty with juice.
-”What happened to your clothes..?” asked Snake, Gojo looked at his clothes and noticed.
-”Oh that, Raiden got too excited when he opened his gift and accidentally spilled his juice on my clothes...“ replied Gojo.
-”So he liked the gift?” asked Snake as he began gently washing Gojo.
-”Oh yeah! He loved it! He told me to tell you thank you a million times but I can’t even beg you a million times in bed so you..” replied Gojo with a smirk, Snake chuckled and kept washing him.
-”Yeah.. Tell me more about the party.” said Snake to which Gojo got excited.
-”Oh God yes! Mizuki and Hope got incredibly drunk and started messing around with everyone. Teasing everyone then laughing it off and running away. It was so funny to watch! My students together with Raiden played monopoly, Yuji got absolutely destroyed and Raiden won!” said Gojo as Snake began washing his hair.
-”I taught him well!” said Snake proudly to which Gojo chuckled.
-”You definitely did alright? Hmmm Doom Slayer wished you a Merry Christmas and said he has a gift for you and one for Isabelle that he would like you to deliver.” said Gojo.
-”Nothing I can’t do.” replied Snake.
-”Yeah I’m sure of it! Hmmm... Oh yeah! CTL asked why you didn’t come and I said you didn’t want to then started arguing with me about how I should learn boundaries and limits and bed and not exhaust the [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] out of you even tho I did nothing like that.” said Gojo annoyed, Snake finished washing him and began washing himself.
-”No Satoru! You need to learn boundaries! I can’t take it anymore!” said Snake in a teasing dramatic voice to which Gojo chuckled.
-”Oh shut up! Anyway, people did notice you were missing, I did the most obviously! But it was so fun! Snoop Dogg also asked about you and gave me a little gift. He told me to open it when you are around, I think it’s an album but eh.” replied Gojo.
-”Hmm, alright. Well I’m sorry I missed this opportunity but I couldn’t risk letting those two morons come to our place and act like a wannabe grinch. Oh yeah they planned to steal our gifts too.” said Snake as he finally finished washing his hair, pouring water over the two of them and cleaning out the soap. Gojo turned around and looked at Snake, shocked as he gasped.
-”WHAT!? I would’ve actually killed them if they were going to steal my gifts for you!” said Gojo to which Snake chuckled.
-”Yeah yeah.. Calm down.. They are all safe.” replied Snake before he got out of the bathtub, Gojo following immediately after. They both dry themselves.
-”Thank God..” said Gojo as he followed Snake in the bedroom, they got dressed in something cozy and Gojo laid down in bed.
-”Oh wow, so all this trouble of protecting the gifts only for you to lay in bed..” said Snake looking at Gojo with a grin.
-”Oh right! I completely forgot about the gifts!” replied Gojo excitedly, as he got out of bed and immediately rushed into the living room at the Christmas tree.
Gojo quickly unwrapped his gifts and looked at them amazed before looking at Snake with a huge smile on his face.
-”OH MY GYATT DAVE! YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO! AHHHHHHHHHH IT’S AMAZING! THESE ARE ALL LIMITED EDITIONS! THE GUITAR IS CLEARLY COSTUMED BECAUSE THERE’S NO WAY YOU FIND THIS MODEL ANYWHERE! BUT THE CLOTHES AND THE GLASSES!? AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! WHERE!? AND HOW!?” asked Gojo, all happy and excited.
-”I had a talk with Santa Monika...“ replied Snake.
-”Ok ok.. NOW OPEN YOUR GIFTS!!!”
Snake unwrapped one of his gifts carefully, spotting a pistol, which was none other than AW Model-01 from Resident Evil.
-”Wow, how did you get your hands on this beauty?” asked Snake as he examined the pistol.
-”Secret!” said Gojo between giggles.
-”Alright alright, fair.” said Snake, setting the pistol aside and opening the other two gifts which were clothes and dog tags, his name and Gojo’s engraved in them.
-”Awh, these are so nice, thank you, Satoru!” said Snake looking at Gojo with a warm smile. Gojo melted looking at Snake.
-”Ah you sweet thing, no need to thank me!” said Gojo as he kept acting like he was melting, Snake chuckled then smirked.
-”Alright alright.. But thanks a lot..” replied Snake.
-”Yeah, anyway, let’s see what Snoop Dogg gifted us!” said Gojo excitedly as he pulled out the gift from his inventory. They both opened it and it was nothing else than an album shaped like a condom wrap. Snake looked shocked and Gojo couldn’t help but chuckle and blush slightly.
-”Well I’d be damned, I didn’t expect this, that’s for sure!” murmured Gojo.
-”Yeah..” replied Snake before opening the album, noticing the vinyl as well as four condoms, he quickly fetched them and grinned proudly.
-”Hey! Wait! I didn’t even get to see them!” said Gojo to which Snake grinned.
-”That doesn’t matter, these will definitely come in handy for me. Four rounds all for me!” replied Snake with a cocky grin.
-”Screw you!” replied Gojo, annoyed to which Snake laughed.
-”Oh you’d wish!” said Snake teasingly before looking at the inside of the album and looking through the songs.
-”Yeah we should listen to this.. Not now.. But soon..” said Gojo as he checked them out.
-”Mhm. Maybe when I handle you..” said Snake with a grin but Gojo threw wrapping in his face.
-”Don’t push your luck.. I don’t think you want to sleep on the couch on Christmas Eve..” said Gojo, to which Snake chuckled.
-”Why? I’m just messing with you, you know I don’t want to hear anything else other than you.” replied Snake with a grin to which Gojo looked at him surprised.
-”Ok! Enough!” said Gojo, Snake chuckled and put on his dog tags then put his gun and condoms away in his inventory.
-”Alright alright.. Geez..” replied Snake, Gojo got up and put his glasses and guitar in his inventory before picking up his clothes and the album and walking in the bedroom, Snake followed after him. They both put their clothes in their wardrobes then laid in bed. Snake snuggled up to Gojo and pulled him close.
-”Good night my mentally challenged albino [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] .” whispered Snake to Gojo to which he chuckled.
-”Geez, good night to you too [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] .” replied Gojo before falling asleep. Snake grinned and held Gojo close as he fell asleep too.
END OF CHRISTMAS FILLER
MERRY CHRIS GRIFFIN MAS