Chapter Text
Textbox: Wednesday…
Sonic and Tails are outside Green Hill High School in an open field with Jacques nearby in a referee outfit. Eggman faces Sonic and Tails on the other side of the field. On the ground is a stack of metallic red squares, put in a cube shaped stack as Sonic raises his eyebrow.
Jacques: I Jacques the ”rock” will supervise ze battle, anything goes but crossing the Moral Event Horizon.
(REF-https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon)
Sonic: No prob for me, Eggman?
Eggman: As long as I can still defeat you!
Sonic: Yeah, keep thinking that… Hey Jacques, where’s André?
Jacques: Baking more weapons, but he should be here soon. You can start anytime!
Sonic: Gotcha.
Eggman: Finally!
Sonic: So…(looking at stack of metallic red squares) What exactly is that supposed to be?
Eggman: Squarebot! Behold the decidedly cool and not uncool power of the square!
The squares now arrange in a cube formation.
Tails: Um….
Sonic: Isn’t it more a cube?
Eggman: Well a cube is made up of squares isn’t it?
Sonic: *sigh* Then wouldn’t it be “Cubot” instead?
Eggman: I can’t use Cubot! I already have that name planned for what will be yet another magnificent creation of mine! This is just a trial version, but still powerful!
Sonic: So what, you’re going to attack me with an evil box?
Eggman: You just wait! Squarebot, Attack!
The squares extend out now and float into many squares, forming a wall and cubes surrounding Sonic and Tails in a dazzling array…
Sonic: What the? It’s actually looking like it might be kind of cool?
Eggman: What do you mean actually!?
Tails: Oh! (Excited) Can the squares fold in shapes like Origami?
Eggman: I was on a time crunch and budget, so no…
Tails: Aww…
Eggman: It’s still cool! Behold this attack!
The squares start flashing in brilliant lights around them
Sonic: Is that an attack or dance lighting?
Eggman: It’s my seizure-inducing light display!
Sonic: Dude, I don’t get seizures from lights!
Tails: That’s only a small percentage of the population Eggman.
Eggman: What, really?…Well, you just wait until my next attack! Prepared to be squared!
Sonic: *Sigh* These squares really are “square.” Come on Tails, let’s just get Eggman’s humiliation over with…
Tails: (crestfallen)Yeah….
The squares however are everywhere, and soon block Sonic’s means of movement in a way analogous to how the bubbles did so far…Literally “boxing” Sonic in! Tails can fly out of reach though.
Sonic: What the ? Stupid squares!
Eggman: Hahahah! Who’s “square” now huh?
Sonic: Enough with the square jokes, already, square also as in “not cool.”
Sonic gets trapped into a box as Tails tries to throw his wrench at them.
Tails: Allow me to throw a wrench into it!
Sonic: Tails? You too? What is this? A bad joke battle?
Tails: (deflated) Was it that bad?
Sonic: Er, I mean…
Eggman: You know Sonic, despite Tails pun also being a threat of attack, I didn’t think it was that bad a play on words actually…
Tails: Really? You think so Eggman? Thanks!
Sonic: *Ugh* (being closed in on) And no Tails, sorry, it wasn’t that bad of a joke..maybe more of ones those so bad it’s good deals? Eggman’s the one who’s gone too far with his “Square” puns! In fact, I’m through with this “square” bot! Thanks to his constant bad jokes though, I got a convenient rage power boost!
Eggman: Oh, that’s right… Drat! I forgot about that! You used your battle anger to escape that last time!
Sonic now spin dashes rapidly inside the enclosing box blasting it off in different directions and pieces.
Sonic: Ha! So much for Square bot! Come on Tails! Let’s finish off the rest of these “square”…uh, squares…Dangit Eggman! You got me doing those stupid square jokes now too!
Eggman: See! SEE?! Easy to do isn’t it? But it’s not over yet!
Sonic now makes a tornado sending the squares flying off and short circuiting them before standing triumphantly facing him as André, who just has run up next Jacques, and both André and Jacques give a thumbs up and casually head over now.
Eggman: Ok, well, maybe now it is over…This isn’t the last you’ve seen of me!
Sonic: Ha! And I’ll gladly beat you again and again, even bordering on formulaic! And uh, Tails too of course.
Eggman: We’ll see…
Now glum, Eggman in his Eggmobile lands to grab a few pieces of the destroyed Squarebot saying, “might as well see if I can salvage materials…”
Sonic: We’ll see? Whaddaya mean?
Sonic and Tails now sit down next to the glum Eggman looking at the remains of Squarebot.
Sonic: Don’t tell me you’re giving up already?! Er, I mean I guess for villainy that’s a good thing but…
Eggman: I can’t fight you pineapple in a regular formulaic way yet, unfortunately.. I’ve only just got my Villiany Permit and apparently they have all those “restrictions”…including things like no villiany after 10 pm!
(Jacques and André are now near)
Sonic: Say what now? Villiany Permit??
Jacques: Ah, oui. we took ‘im to ze Evil Career Center Monday. He iz as you say, in ze evil apprenticeship before getting ze full privileges and limited freedoms of ze full villain license.
Tails:So the villains get restrictions then? What if they don’t?
Jacques: Well, secret yet not secret organization banishes them.
Sonic: Who again?
Jacques: Ah! Curious, no? Well, Mon Bleu, I ‘ave already said too much, nor do I know ze details, but zey keep ze “world-destroying villains” from taking foot in ze world.
Sonic: Interesting…So Eggman here basically can’t just go off and destroy the world, but I guess buildings are allowed?
Jacques: If ze buildings are coded to be in the potential “villain destroying area, zen yes. There’s a whole industry for quick rebuilding zey say is profitable, so… (mischievous)
Sonic: But why not just stop them completely?
Jacques: Ah! Good question! Well, zey say it keeps ze worse villains and crime at bay, and many here seem to zink so too. Ze violent gang wars do not seem to happen where ze villain and heroes fight, so ze civilians can stay mostly out of it leaving ze violence between those such as us.
Tails: But what about the damaged buildings?
Jacques: I do not know, just zat we ze heroes are trained to stop zat damage before it happens as much as possible! (Triumphant) But no, mon ami, it is not always possible, even for ze great Jacques ze Rock and André.
Tails: Fascinating..I’d love to find out more about how this all works.
Jacques: Zat is all I will say for now, mon ami.
Eggman: Well, there you go, there should be more done to support small-time villiany! Like what about funding? It costs to make the excellent machinery and for this “apprenticeship,” but no ones willing to blatantly promote the legally illegal ways to get money!
Sonic: Legally illegal?
Eggman: You know, technically illegal, but legal if you’re doing villiany and illegal crimes.
Tails: Um…
Jacques: I don’t know mon ami, I am ze hero instructor. not ze villain.
Eggman: Well, if I am to come up with the great creations I’m going to need funds. I’ve been trying to look into an evil scholarship program, but nothing’s panned out so far! It looks like my days of attacking are numbered, literally, until I can prove I can be a full-time villain. Sure, they want someone for jobs with more evil experience, but then aren’t willing to give that experience!
Sonic: Yeah…can’t say I can help you there…
Jacques: Eggman is still under ze villain apprenticeship and won’t be fighting as much until after, but you are still in ze hero apprenticeship too! No license until after finishing high school, and no regular battles zat could affect ze schoolwork.
Sonic: Ugh.., and I’m still a freshman too! I’ve got 4 years ’til I’ll be done!
Jacques: It’ll pass before you know it, and afterwards? You can beat ze bad guys like ze Eggman as often as you want!
Sonic: I guess so…what about at least battling on the weekend?
Eggman: Didn’t I just mention funding issues?? Unless you to want to help a poor villain out getting his start in the world?
Sonic: What? No way!
Eggman: Then don’t come complaining to me if you don’t get to face the brilliance of Eggman on a regular basis, and instead on a less frequent, yet more cost-effective basis.
Sonic: Whatever Eggman, I’m sure I’ll find something to do, but I wouldn’t mind facing off with you more. I’ll still need an arch-nemesis after this whole “apprenticeship” deal I guess after all.
Eggman: Not a problem, as soon as I’m licensed to, I’d be happy to be out to destroy you on a regular basis!
Sonic: Ha! You can try, but don’t get your hopes up too high!
Tails: But if you managed to destroy him, then how could you keep doing it again?
Sonic: It’s just smack talk Tails, it’s not like he’s managed to win against me yet!
Tails: But didn’t he capture you?
Sonic: It was only for a little bit! Big Whoop! He still got totally owned!
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REF-80’s slang (Big Whoop)
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/617530/1980s-slang-terms
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Eggman: Good observation, and yes I did until you helped him Tails! Maybe next time he won’t ‘be so lucky!
Jacques: Hoho! I see you have ze passion, ze fire for battle against ze other! But save zat for another time! When ze apprenticeships is done, ze agency will match you with a villain, so maybe with each other, no?
Sonic: Oh yeah?
Jacques: Oui, Just like I, Jacques ze “Rock,” and André fight with ze Anti-Pan Man and others! Though, usually after school hours…But we love to fight for ze people here! Victorious in reclaiming ze stores ! Viva ze people of Tokai City! (Triumphant)
André now high fives Jacques, his much more loquacious friend.
Sonic: Well, I’d say Eggman here and me are a good match! If I’m set up with you Eggman, be prepared to lose!
Eggman: Not likely, but you’ll see! Especially when I’m properly funded might I remind you !
Sonic now gets up and stretches surveying the robot litter.
Sonic: Well, it looks like you have a mess to clean up Eggman, so I’ll leave you to it and that should help you be properly funded right? (grin)
Eggman: What? You’re the one who broke it!
Sonic: And You’re the one who brought it!
Jacques: Oui, there is no clean up crew Eggman for zis kind of battle. You are allowed only so many battles until ze license.
Sonic: Plus, we have school tomorrow Eggman, well home-schooling again now for me.
Eggman: And now that I finally find what may turn out to be budding career, you can’t be the least bit supportive?
Sonic: Dude, your career is being evil.
Eggman: Tolerated evil!
Sonic: Ugh…Yeah, no way. Why don’t you just make somebody to help you?
Eggman: Great Idea! Just wait until I finally make Cubot!
Sonic: Yeah…Well see you around, maybe, if you manage to get your funding Egghead! Come on Tails! Mom made chili dogs tonight!
Tails: Alright!
Sonic and Tails run off as Eggman, Jacques and André watch him go)
Jacques: I cannot wait to see ‘im fully licensed mon ami André!
André: He seems excited to be a hero, let’s hope it stays that way.
Eggman: Who wouldn’t be excited to face such a magnificent villain as myself, the great, the..
(Jacques and André give exasperated unamused looks at Eggman
Jacques: We will be leaving now Eggman, Adieu!
Jacques jumps onto his fishbowl skateboard and then hops into the side rider for André’s motorcycle and they head out.
Eggman: Hey! I wasn’t done with my speech on how great I am! Still, I really do need to figure out funding…Who knew the Evil Career Center had so many options to choose from! And though this working in Insurance in the meantime has been evil enough, it’s not been nearly as fun! Not to mention no one praises you as try to deny their claims! And then my grand dream of an amusement park! No …there’s gotta be another way to make money as I get through this evil apprenticeship…. (Pauses a moment) You know, I did hear about apparently radioactive mootonium from here that was “moved”…so with the right illegal buyer, I bet I could make a ton! Now, If I could just conveniently get a hold of that!
A Cow from a nearby conveniently comes by from the shadows of the trees on the field and as Eggman perplexed watches the bovine visitor lift its head into view….
Cow: (whispers) Hey you…
Eggman: What? Me?
Cow:Yeah you!
Eggman: I thought you were a non anthropomorphic cow!
Cow: No man… Wanna help a fellow out?
Eggman: I’m villain, well almost fully legally…(approaches cow in shadows) why should I help you? Not only that, who said you could listen in to what I say out loud in the open?
Cow: Nevermind that…I may or may not be …(overdramatic winking and looking around) a spy cow…
Eggman: ….Oh! So that’s why you’re not wearing shoes or clothes! Nice disguise! But what do you want? I’m busy hatching schemes!
Cow: Well, you seem “techy” …Let’s just say if you scratch my back, I scratch yours.
Eggman: You? You’re a cow that looks a lot like a cow that can’t talk. That may make you a great spy, but that doesn’t help me.
Cow: I need help man…(look of desperation)You can only chew grass all day looking at clouds before it gets to you…( gets up and shakes Eggman’s shoulders a moment)
Cow: I need TV or something!
Eggman: TV? What do I look like, an outdoor TV salesman?
Cow: But I need someone like you to get rid of the mootonium that made me like this, and now smart enough to have ennui and Weltschmerz!
Eggman: What?! Yeah, sorry about the ennui and existential angst, but I don’t need any reminding of any of that, that’s why I have coffee in the morning, and TV, unlike you. But what’s this about this mootonium?
Cow: I need something to fight it off man! You get me the latest season of the show Steers, and then I’ll hook you up!
(Author’s Note: Yes..a Cheers parody..)
Eggman: Steers huh? That show where all the steers sit around drinking talking about day to day issues? Not bad I guess, but they way Sam treats the lady cows is a big turn off in my book. But sure. I can figure out a way for you to watch on something electronic and small here in the field!…
Cow: Whew! That means a lot! Do you think you can have if for me tomorrow night? And then I’ll tell you where to find the goods!
Eggman: It’s a deal! Hmmm….I wonder if there could be potential negative consequences for selling unstable radioactive mootonium that also apparently causes previously non anthropomorphic animals existential angst…?
(Pause )
Eggman: Nah, I’m sure it’ll be fine. See you tomorrow! Besides, by selling mootonium at my special jacked up prices, I’ll be helping other villains that were in the same spot I was! It’s a win win!
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REF-(repeat from earlier)
Ennui
Ennui is the French word for boredom. The English word annoy comes from an early, 13th century borrowing of the word, but it was borrowed again during the height of 18th century European Romanticism, when it stood for a particular, fashionable kind of boredom brought on by weariness with the world. Young people at that time, feeling that the promises of the French Revolution had gone unfulfilled, took on an attitude of lethargic disappointment, a preoccupation with the fundamental emptiness of existence. Nothing mattered, so nothing roused the passions.
By the middle of the 19th century, ennui became associated with the alienation of industrialization and modern life. Artists and poets suffered from it, and soon a claim to ennui was a mark of spiritual depth and sensitivity. It implied feelings of superiority and self-regard, the idea being that only bourgeois people too deluded or stupid to see the basic futility of any action could be happy. Now, in English, though it is defined as “a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction,” ennui also has connotations of self-indulgent posturing and European decadence.
Are you tired, so tired of everything about the world and the way it is? Do you proclaim this, with a long, slow sigh, to everyone around you? You’ve got ennui.
Weltschmerz
Weltschmerz, German for “world pain,” was also coined during the Romantic era, and is in many ways the German version of ennui. It describes a world weariness felt from a perceived mismatch between the ideal image of how the world should be with how it really is.
In German philosophy, it was distinguished from pessimism, the idea that there is more bad than good in the world, because while pessimism was the logical conclusion of cool, rational philosophical pondering, weltschmerz was an emotional response. Though weltschmerz and ennui are pretty close synonyms, ennui foregrounds the listlessness brought on by world weariness (it can also be a term for more simple boredom), and weltschmerz foregrounds the pain or sadness. There is perhaps a greater sense of yearning in weltschmerz (part of the pain is that the sufferer really wants the world to be otherwise). Also, as an English word, weltschmerz isn’t as common as ennui, so there are fewer connotations about the type of person that comes down with it. Its very German sound (that “schm”!) makes it seem more serious and grim than ennui.
Do you have sadness in your heart for the world that can never be—and sensible shoes? You’ve got weltschmerz.
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/58230/how-tell-whether-youve-got-angst-ennui-or-weltschmerz
Sehnsucht: Desire, longing, yearning, or all of the above?
Have you ever felt a deep, emotional, almost painful, longing for something - even if you can’t quite put your finger on what that something is? Could be, you’re experiencing a bout of Sehnsucht. How very German of you.
The truth is, the concept of Sehnsucht is hard to satisfactorily describe in English. So much so that the stage director and author Georg Tabori called it one of those quasi-mystical terms in German that has no adequate corresponding terms in other languages.
Sehnsucht meaning
It might help if we break it down. Another good German compound noun, Sehnsucht is composed of two parts: Sehn, from sehnen (to yearn) and Sucht (addiction or craving).
It’s not clear where the word Sehnen comes from, but many people have tried to pin down a definition for it over the years, including the Brothers Grimm, who wrote in their dictionary that it means “to grieve, to grasp, to demand something, especially related to the pain and desire of love.” Sucht does not come - as you might expect - from suchen (to search), but from siech, which means sick.
Put them together and you can see that Sehnsucht literally means a sickness caused by yearning or desire. This adequately characterises both the positive and negative aspects of the emotion - since Sehnsucht is generally agreed to be accompanied by both positive and negative feelings.
However, it goes a little deeper than just a yearning or a desire. Sehnsucht can represent thoughts and feelings about all aspects of life that are imperfect or unfinished, and comes along with a desire to experience utopian, alternative realities. It could be described as someone’s search for happiness as they come to terms with the fact that some desires are unattainable.
It can also be experienced as a longing for a distant place - not necessarily anywhere that exists on earth, but somewhere that is very familiar and most definitely “home”. In this sense, it is a type of nostalgia.
Sehnsucht in popular German culture
As you might expect for a term that’s provoked so much dialogue, the concept of Sehnsucht is explored or invoked in a number of different cultural creations in Germany. You might want to take a look at some of these to get a better understanding of what these Germans are driving at:
Sehnsucht (Friedrich Schiller)
A poem that inspired composers like Franz Schubert and Siegfried Wagner.
Nur wer die Sehnsucht kennt (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)
Another famous poem that was later set to music by multiple composers, including Ludwig van Beethoven.
Sehnsucht (Joseph von Eichendorff)
A romantic poem, published in 1834. This poem is sometimes known by its first line: "Es schienen so golden die Sterne".
Sehnsucht (Rammstein)
Both the 1997 album and its title track by Rammstein are called Sehnsucht.
Sehnsucht nach Sandin
A 2002 TV movie, starring Christian Kahrmann, Alexandra Kamp and Günther Schramm.
Jennifer: Sehnsucht nach was Besseres
A comedy TV series that has been running on NDR since 2015, starring Katrin Ingendoh.
German sayings about Sehnsucht (Sehnsucht Sprüche)
... And it has also given way to a number of German proverbs or sayings about Sehnsucht. Fit in with the natives and impress you friends by dropping some of these Sprüche in conversation and trying to look profound:
Nur wer die Sehnsucht kennt, weiß, was ich leide
Only those who have experienced longing can know what I suffer - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Wenn die Sehnsucht größer ist als die Angst, wird der Mut geboren
When desire trumps fear, courage is born - Unknown
Es ist sicher: Sehnsucht führt nur zu noch mehr Sehnsucht. Sie hört nicht auf
Wanting just leads to more wanting. There’s no end to desire - Nicola Yoon
Letztlich lieben wir die Sehnsucht, nicht das Ersehnte
Ultimately, it is the desire, not the desired, that we love - Friedrich Nietzsche
Tief empfundene Sehnsucht, echte Sehnsucht ist die Sehnsucht, jemandem nah zu sein
Profound desire, true desire, is the desire to be close to someone - Paulo Coelho
Der sensible Mensch leidet nicht aus diesem oder jenem Grunde, sondern ganz allein, weil nichts auf dieser Welt seine Sehnsucht stillen kann
Sensitive people do not suffer for this reason or another, but all alone because nothing in the world can satisfy their longing - Jean-Paul Sartre
Wer es einmal geschafft hat, seine Sehnsucht Vorfreude zu nennen, der kann nie wieder richtig unglücklich sein
Once you have managed to recognise your desire as anticipation, you can never really be unhappy again - Peter Hohl
Get thinking, feeling and yearning
Whichever way you put it, Sehnsucht is certainly an emotive concept. The Germans sure know how to do deep thinking.
https://www.iamexpat.de/education/education-news/german-words-expats-should-know-sehnsucht
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STORY
Narrator: And so… Eggman found a source of funding by selling mootonium. The cow who hooked him up now had a portable device to watch TV and alleviate existential dread and ennui for a time.. being the cause of causing mostly more of what had been ignorant dumb animals now full of ennui and anxiety to wherever his mootonium was sold, Eggman now had his funding. Regardless, he built up his robot skills, with occasional scuffles, as Sonic mostly helped Jacques and André as well along with Tails. Over time, Eggman was sharpening his battle skills and building up his robots to fight under supervision on weekends as he was allotted and had something ready.
And so the years passed…Tails would spend evenings and weekend with Sonic, playing sports, singing “cool” songs and playing pranks at times, not to mention going on trips with them even to see his grandpa Gerald at the edge of the Sea of Trees, Jukai… aka Dumb Dumb forest…among other adventures ….and before they knew it, 3 years later, with Sonic at the beginning of what would be his Senior year in high school in the summer and Sonic now 18 and Tails going to later be 10, but what about Tails’ school plans? Would sonic need to attempt school once again to keep an eye on Tails who skipped several grades? And who would they meet there? After all Eggman surely wouldn’t be petty and do anything to interfere with Sonic at school right? And what’s with Eggman plans that may or may not involve waking up cranky people from long naps?
END
BUT TO BE CONTINUED in Part 2 of 2, Sonic Boom Origins Part 2