Work Text:
"Pam - "
"What, Eric?"
"We're closed."
"I know. And I'm going to get the bleeds soon."
"Then why won't that woman leave?"
"Hmm? I thought that was a squawking bird, I let the crowd have her."
"Pam... "
"Oh, alright. Excuse me, miss? Miss?"
"Hey! We're drinking here!"
"We're about to close, if you haven't no-ticed."
"The only thing I notice is the label on the prescription bottle. And it says, eat me! Ha-ha!"
"Ma'am, I'm going to have to insist... "
"Pam!"
"Eric!"
"What is it?"
"She tastes of vodka!"
"Ha-ha! Oh, honey."
"Sam, you better hire me for real."
"Why, Tara?"
"So I can kick this racist piece of shit out your bar."
"Why, what's she saying?"
"Just listen for yourself... "
"Uh, ma'am, ma'am."
"We're drinking here!"
"Jason, Hoyt, will you give us a minute here."
"If you say so!"
"Oh, but honey, you are lovely. Not you. I feast on you for breakfast, ha."
"Ma'am, we're all out of liquor."
"Well, that's about the worst thing to happen since Grace decided stripes were in. And I sent her out! I told her a client's meeting her for lunch! She still doesn't know! Ha-ha-oh... "
"Miss, you gotta get the fuck out of here before I make you!"
"Oh, can it, Cabbage Patch. But you... "
"Me?"
"Yeah, what about Sam?"
"Mmm. You look good enough to eat, honey. Can you pick up my cocktail napkin for me?"
"Sam Merlotte, I'm still waiting on my iced tea! That do-nothing Sookie is late a-gain!""
"Mrs Fortenberry, please!"
"Hey! Toilet spray! Can it, I'm trying to get a look at the full moon!"
"Why I never!"
"Not in that house dress, you look like a pudding gone to slop!"
"Where the hell is my driver... hey, you!"
"Me?"
"Yeah, you. Call my driver. I'm stuck in this hick town and the valet tried to strangle me. Luckily for me my neck still retracts."
"You smell... lovely."
"Oh, thank you, honey. It's Chanel no 5. And who are you?"
"Oh, I'm just on my way. Maryann."
"And who are all these people?"
"Oh, they believe in my cause. We all pray."
"Honey, you're moving like a stick insect!"
"Look at them! The way they writhe, the way they kiss, their eyes! Their eyes of everything!"
"Oh, they're pretty. I got some blood opals back in the vault when Stan and I went fishing. Well, we took the superyacht and drained a small community. Ha!"
"But you - you're not dancing! What are you?"
"Karen, can you fax this for me?"
"Honey, put it in yourself. Or is that what you did last night when nobody bought you a drink at the gay bar? Ha-ha! Ha-ha."
"Will?"
"Grace, I'm very busy in a merger."
"Well, it's not like Karen's using the phone. And a merger?"
"Yeah. The merger of sandwich into mouth. Mmm mmm."
"At least something's getting filled."
"Saucy!"
"Listen, we have to do something about Karen."
"Don't I know it."
"Karen?"
"Oh, honey, I was just about to use that."
"You? Use a phone?"
"I know how to use a phone. I want to get this coat taken in."
"It's... unique. Uh, what is it?"
"I dunno. But I think it's from a Maynard. Bunch of freaks down in that Louisiana. I'm never going there with Stan again. Well, he did overdose on those ribs. I wouldn't be surprised if the gators ate him alive... "