Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

her despair is sickening, rotting her to the bone. reaching into her chest and taking her heart, replacing it only with a shell of what it used to be. but she'd never admit to something to personal. she'd never tell you about the nights she spends rambling endlessly, crying about the things she cannot change. and she would never tell you how she ended up this way. it's a good thing there's an entire file on her and the entirety of her history!

it hasn't been long since she found herself on jabberwock island. the truth about the killing game had already been revealed, leaving no room for hopeful thoughts that nobody would dare kill. it's already happened, so what's the point in pretending it won't happen again? sure, it's exactly what monokuma might want in this moment, but why should she lie to herself? she's really not sure how hinata does it, keeping up his hope that they'll get out at some point. surely he will recognize it's a lost cause soon? hinata acts with this power that she's never found in herself before. maybe when she was at the peak of her despair, but not now. nobody needs to see that side of her, and she can't risk letting anybody know that she remembers her life before jabberwock. she can't say she remembers it all, but it's enough for her to continue to slip between despair and hope constantly. on her days when she believes, nagito's mumblings are welcomed and she remembers agreeing with him openly, but there's other days in which she can't help but scowl at him. she'll never make it back to her family at this point. and god help her if she ever gets her hands on another canvas.

she sat at the dining table now, trying to ignore the fact that saionji hadn't showered. she could see the oil on her hair from where she was sitting. poking at her eggs with her fork, she ignored the chatter of the group. she swallowed down another egg and stayed silent. the group had decided to go explore the new island that was guarded by the monobeast before, so she reluctantly followed along.

hinata was the first one to speak up. "we should split up and investigate these areas," he paused. "i can go with sonia to the library."

saionji sneered at this. "for what? so you can perv at her?" hinata only sighed at this.

"i'm fine with hinata coming with me!" sonia exclaimed, slightly annoyed at saionji's antics.

"i'll be going to the drugstore." she explained, saying goodbye to the group. tsumiki followed behind her, hoping to put her knowledge to use.

it seemed like saionji had nothing to say to this, and the group had no problem with it either. they all chose places to explore and set off quickly.

she could sense mikan trembling beside her, fidgeting with the rows of medications in front of them. she dared not laugh, but it amused her nonetheless. "you can speak, tsumiki. i don't bite."

"ah. if you're sure..." she mumbled. "i was going to ask if you needed help identifying any medications or drugs." the nurse fidgeted with the hem of her clothes.

"sure. tell me about this one." she questioned, passing tsumiki a bottle of red pills. the cap even had one of those child-lock covers used to prevent incidents. this was strange. did monokuma really think this could stop her? or anyone else here, for that matter? she watched as tsumiki examined the bottle, seemingly searching for something on the body of the container.

"this is lethal in doses over 300mg, meaning it wouldn't take much. these pills work by swelling the airway of the victim, making it almost impossible to breathe," the nurse paused for a moment. "we should search through these medications and seperate the lethal drugs from the prescription ones."

it was interesting to her, to see tsumiki behaving almost confidently. it seemed to happen when she indulged in her ultimate talent, and when she was away from saionji. she really was a nuisance. "i'm good with that."

the pair continued, with the black-haired girl passing over countless bottles and vials of medication. there was a great silence between them which the pair welcomed, seemingly both fine with ignoring the rules of socialization which required them to speak about useless things consistently. it was foolish, really. what would she say? you're good at this, tsumiki! god, she'd hope so... but it wasn't long before the nurse's voice broke the silence. "this is all of them. this means that the others won't be able to find lethal medications for their plans!" there was happiness in her voice and she could see why. they'd used other bottles to cover up the empty spots in the shelves so that it didn't seem suspicious. it would likely fly over many heads.

"thank you, tsumiki." she said quietly, turning her back against the shelves, distracting the nurse from the way her hand reached into her bag.

"please call me mikan. i don't mind." she smiled, holding the door open for the other girl.

'if you say so, mikan. i guess we should return to the rest of the group." she replied, following after the ultimate.

they returned to the group, hit by a number of voices telling them that they had found something interesting while they were gone. a ruin of some sort was about all she could pick up on through everybody's shocked ramblings.

Chapter Text

the crowd of ultimates stood confused, huddled in front of the door of the ruin. it sat there like it belonged, even though it really didn't. how could something so out of place be here, on an island? a locked entrance? exit? here on an island, settled between palm trees? absurd. but really, everything about this killing game was absurd.

"i know what it says," she spoke up, walking forward and clearing a path between the people. she placed her palm up to the door, pausing for dramatics before returning her hand to her side. "mirai--future." she explained, turning to face the group. she could feel the intensity of chiaki's stare. of course.

"hey, who cares about a symbol on the door!?" kuzuryu piped up, clenching his fist. "more importantly...how do you open it? what's inside?"

mahiru's face twisted into an odd expression, "it looks like there's a liquid crystal display next to the door...could they be related?"

"oh, right! that must be the key to open the door!" kuzuryu replied. "it's probably set to open when you enter the password!"

"acting all high and mighty...so what's next?" saionji muttered meanly. "it's obviously impossible to put in the password without any hints. ah, are you saying a normal person can't open it but a yakuza can? that's hilarious!"

"s-shut up. if we just type whatever...we might get it right..." he spoke back to her.

nanami didn't seem to like the idea. "ah, i think we should wait. doesn't that seem dangerous?"

"hm? what do you mean dangerous?" the yazuka asked her, confused.

"cuz...that thing next to the panel, doesn't it look like a gun? in fact...that's totally a gun."

she heard hinata mutter something, but payed it no mind.

"it's possible you might get shot if you mess up the password...right?" nanami warned.

kuzuryu swore at this, his fists raised in frustration. "i-it can't be helped...looks like...it's better if we don't mess with it...for now."

"he's totally freaked out!" saionji exclaimed, clearly happy to have something to use against him as ammo.

"you do it then!" he fired back, growing annoyed.

"it's all unnatural. this is probably an important place." the gamer mused.

the mechanic piped up, "important place, huh...the problem is, how is it important?"

then, out of nowhere, monokuma and his "sister" showed up, disrupting umeko from her thoughts. they stood there, refusing to say a word, stuttering as if they'd been caught red-handed in a cookie jar. umeko thought that it was an embarrassing display for something that had the power to drive the group to kill. they acted like children.

"you're both quiet?" pekoyama questioned.

"you guys know about this building too, right!? tell us right now!" owari shouted.

the mascots mumbled awkwardly, exclaiming that they didn't know anything. if umeko didn't know better, she'd believe the lie. of course they knew!

"...focus on gathering the hope fragments..." monomi urged.

"don't just come here and tell lousy lies! there's no way you guys don't know!" soda exclaimed.

"you probably covered that door with dust, didn't you?" saionji accused.

"you were hiding it on purpose, right? just as i thought." tsumugi said.

"don't talk like we're equals, you trashy bitch!" saionji yelled, shattering tsumugi's hope into nothing.

"i-i'm sorry..." tsumugi mumbled in response.

"say you're sorry!" saionji ordered, bringing the nurse to tears once more.

"i-i just said it! i'm sorry!" tsumugi cried.

"is it possible there is a connection between this door and the reason why the island is uninhabited?" nidai questioned, his strong arms folded. "it might be a shelter."

"is something happening that's making people hide in a shelter? if so...we're screwed..." the red-haired photographer said, a little panic clear in her tone.

"i can think of many possibilties." monokuma spoke, popping up out of nowhere once more.

"what're ya sayin'?" owari asked, confused.

"even though monomi and i can come and go as we please, we can't go beyond that door." monokuma explained. "neither me or monomi can solve this mystery. that is why i have high expectations for you."

"seems easy enough." kuzuryu boasted, his hope returning. "all we gotta do is remember what that black and white tanuki said before."

"there's a traitor among us...that's what he said." saionji spoke.

"those kinds of names don't depress me in the slightest!" monokuma said. despite this, he looked very dejected.

"he's totally depressed!" the singer pointed out.

none of this seemed to reduce the yazuka's hope. "if there's a "traitor," they probably know how to open the door, right? maybe there's a way to contact the outside world through this door?"

koizumi piped up. "maybe whoever's controlling monomi and monkuma is hiding there!"

"d-do you really think there's a traitor among us?" tsumugi asked anxiously.

"hurry up and confess!" the blond yelled, angry. after getting such a non-answer from monomi, he questioned monokuma. it was useless. neither of them were going to tell them anything. monokuma had ways to shut his "sister" up if he wanted to again, like he did not long ago. they were really on their own. monokuma was laughly loudly.

"what's so funny?" tanaka questioned sternly. he looked like the type of guy who didn't appreciate wasting time.

"oh, just...have you guys heard of the organization called world ender?"

"world ender?" hinata asked, confused.

the name seemed unfamiliar, even to umeko.

"don't just change the subject." umeko spoke up, for the first time in a while.

"oh, of course you want to hear more about it. the name is just about as emo as you!" monokuma giggled.

"insults don't work on me." she explained, striding over to the multi-coloured bear.

"fujiki, wait!" the mechanic shouted, trying to remove the girl from her trance.

"thank you, soda, but this is the only way we'll get answers out of this asshole."

she went to place her hand on monokuma's neck, but ended up missing because he had moved to the side. realizing too late that she had done it on purpose, the bear stood dejected after she had spat on him. the look in his face was fierce, unyielding.

"umeko fujiki." he called angrily. "if answers are what you want, listen up now." she knew she was in mariana trench deep type trouble, but refused to let it show up on her face. not like it mattered much--monokuma was the only one who could see her expressions right now. "this will shut you up." he spoke, summoning a pair of handcuffs and binding umeko's wrists. before she knew it, there was also a piece of tape stuck to her mouth.

"so, what is this organization?" pekoyama asked.

'it's what it says. they ended the world." monokuma replied.

"e-ended the world!?" tsumugi panicked.

"it's not a metaphor, either. they really did end the world. i think the name is appropriate."

"a terrorist organization?" pekoyama questioned further.

"they're more like heroes, really."

the photographer spoke up again, "don't just say things that make no sense! they're the ones putting us through this crap?"

nidai looked agitated. "are you and monomi members?"

umeko wanted to interject so badly.

"i can only tell you that the traitor works for the same organization."

"w-why are we being targeted by such horrifying people?" soda panicked, losing it a little.

"don't panic. he's just telling us made up things to worry us." the martial artist explained calmly, trying to ease the nerves of everybody. "i can't believe in something so ridiculous."

"monokuma...i shall listen to you spout nonsense all you want, while i puff cigar smoke at your lifeless body." the ultimate breeder threatened.

"are you calling me a liar?" monokuma complained, looking dejected once more. "i'm telling the truth! you have to find the traitor and kill them dead!"

"did anyone actually understand what he was saying?" soda asked. it was the last proper sentence that umeko heard before monokuma was leading her to her ultimate fate.

she recognised where they were going pretty quickly. they'd teleported back to the main island and monokuma hadn't even given the girl a moment to recover from the nausea. he'd lead them into the building where they had hosted the party earlier. without the decorations on the building looked so much more decrepit. he led her into the building without a word.

"you're staying here with him." monokuma explained, teleporting to god knows where.

komaeda looked surprised at the prospect of having company. he went to greet umeko, quickly realizing that she couldn't reply to any questions she had in this state. "look, i don't have my hands right now, so i'll have to do it another way. is it okay if trash like me touches you in such a way?" she nodded, simply wanting the godforsaken tape off of her face. he leant forward and umeko realized how pretty he actually was. sure, his hair was messy, and probably not all that soft, but she'd always preferred that over hair that was so slicked down that it couldn't move at all. his teeth bit onto a corner of the tape, and he pulled gently. they were there for a while. he'd even stopped to tell her to be patient. apparently he didn't want to hurt her. ah well, not like she was complaining. he was very good looking with his collarbones always on display. the final edge of tape fell off her face and she sighed in relief.

"thank you, komaeda." she spoke finally, discreetly liking the way his name felt on her tongue. he shook his head,

"call me nagito."

"are you sure? we've hardly talked before this..."

"don't tell me you've already forgotten? us outcasts need to stick together, umeko!"

--
and there was darkness. okay. dramatics. the lights had gone out.

"what are you doing?" the white-haired boy whisper shouted at the girl in front of him. she'd ended up leaning against his chest due to her panicked reaction of the lights going out. as it happened, her chest was leaned up against his, his hands 'ended up' around her waist and her head was rested on his collarbones. what the fuck.

"sorry...i really didn't mean to end up in this position..." umeko would kill herself if anyone else saw her like this. she'd heard a scream before and her anxiety had taken over, telling her somebody had seen this ordeal. she was dead.

"shh, be quiet.." he was okay with it? he placed a hand over her mouth to keep any anxious words from coming out. what the fuck? had she died and gone to heaven?

"ah, sorry. the nerves are getting to me too!" he exclaimed.

liar.

this mysterious man really was going to be the death of her.

--

"right." blush came to her face as the memory returned to her.

"your name fits. you look like an apricot when you're blushing..." nagito laughed. he'd never had such an interest in a person before hajime. two promising people? in one place? oh, how hopeful!

"nagito, i swear to god." she said, flustered. "how long have you been here?"

"not long. the others were worried that i would try to kill again, so they put me in here," he paused. "what did you do?" he asked, tilting his head.

"i. spat on monokuma?" she answered like a question, feeling embarrassed now that she was thinking about her previous actions.

"you didn't think to injure him?" he asked.

"i have too many things to do. i cannot risk getting eliminated this early." she replied.

"right...it seems i shouldn't underestimate you, ume." she shuddered slightly at the nickname, hoping that he hadn't seen her do that. she wasn't sure how somebody she'd known for such a short time could have this much of an effect on her. she needed to get out of her, back to the world. fuck whatever force was keeping her here, thinking they could contain her.

"i'm gonna ignore that..." she mumbled, "anyway, i know what you're planning, and i know things. i'm here to tell you that there's no reason to kill us all." she explained, watching as his grew into a shocked expression, his brows moving upwards. good.

"and why is that?" he questioned, raising a finger to his lips.

"it's only a vague feeling. i get memories sometimes. i've been getting them ever since the killing game began...i seem to be the only one who remembers, too." she spoke with a determination in her voice that gave nagito a feeling he didn't understand. who was she? she lowered her voice into a whisper, "i have a vague feeling that it doesn't matter if we die or not. monokuma just wants us to kill...it's why he gives us motives. he wants us to lose hope so that we don't get out of here."

"ah, your hope is shining right now." he mumbled, seemingly very happy with her response.

they'd continued to chat for a while after this, until the sun had started to set, the room getting darker.

nagito saw her anxiety as she thought about the others and what they were doing. they had no way of knowing the truth. what if they did something stupid?

"hey. try to get some sleep." nagito said gently before lying down himself and closing his eyes.

she did. it was rough, but she'd slept. she'd slept with the bottle of pills digging into her back. she'd awoke to the white-haired man staring at her. if it was anyone else, she'd sock them in the face, but it wasn't. "see something you like?" she teased, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"good morning, apricot." he grinned, sitting up.

she sighed at the nickname. "you're never gonna--" she got cut off by the sound of the door opening.

"hajime? ohh, i'm so lucky that a person like you has come to our rescue! isn't that right, ume?"

hajime groaned, "ume?"

"don't question it." she answered.

"right...well, here's your food."

the pair smiled at the sight of the food. umeko had to admit that she had been getting hungry. at least her stomach hadn't rumbled in front of nagito. hajime bent down on one knee and untied their hands so that they could eat properly. lest she keep her dignity intact.

"thank you, hinata." she said as he bid farewell to them.

she picked up one of the pocky sticks off the plate and put it in her mouth, savouring the chocolate taste. what she had not expected to happen was for nagito to latch his mouth onto the other side of the stick and maintain eye contact with her. he smiled against the food as it only became smaller and smaller. was this really happening right now? he didn't falter. not even when their lips touched briefly. she tilted her head slightly to accommodate him, then pulled away.

"hey did i...read this wrong?" he asked. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have assumed that you'd want somebody like me."

"no. that's not. i-i just. i thought you might just be tricking me...trying to get all the information i have...?" she muttered, her expression sad.

"you're the only one i trust." he declared.

she had no words, but she didn't need them. they both leaned in and resumed their kiss hungrily. nagito's lips were softer than she'd imagined, and he smelt like chamomile. a smell that she wouldn't have ever associated with him until now. was this really happening? she was growing dizzy, so she grabbed onto the sides of his shirt, eventually sliding her hands underneath to roam his chest. it was smooth, toned, but not too overboard. just what she'd expected from him. his hands were on her body in an instant--revenge. she felt them searching until they landed on her black, lacy bra. she was suddenly happy that she was no longer wearing the bra for just herself. she felt his long fingers pull the straps of the bra down her shoulders, soon cupping her breasts. she heard him groan into the kiss, sending a vibration through her body that excited her. he broke it off.

"c'mere," he rasped, lips covered in her black lipstick. "move so you can sit on my lap."

she moved her hips up as much as she could, finding her seat on his lap, taking the opportunity to grind against him. nagito took the hint, reaching down to shrug off his tight jeans just enough--leaving him in only his boxers. if somebody were to walk in just now and see them--oh, whatever, she thought. fuck it. she pulled down his boxers, revealing his already hard member. it was pretty, honestly. with its pink flushed tip and its slight curve.

'i-i uh..." he mumbled nervously.

"pill. i'm on the pill." she laughed.

"fuck. right. i-" he stuttered, mouth quickly turning into an 'o' when she sank down onto him, her warmth enveloping him. "ohh...fuck." he groaned.

"cat got your tongue?" she laughed, ignoring the fact that she was clenching around him every time he let out a noise. he didn't need to know how much he was affecting her.

she started to pick up her pace, being egged on every time that he couldn't resist bucking his hips up or letting out some type of noise. he wasn't useless, so he'd already put a finger on her clit, circling it lazily. "you're gorgeous, ume." he smiled stupidly, nestling his head into her neck and sucking a hickey. she whined, already reaching close to her climax. he noticed the way she was trembling and sped up his thrusts when he found the spot. umeko was gasping now, all the stimulation getting to her, making her tremble against him, shuddering as she came.

"hey, you did so well angel." he was praising her, coming undone not long after her and cupping her face gently. he really did think she was gorgeous.

Chapter Text

the morning sun shook her from her patchy sleep, her mind returning to the reality of the situation. she'd been that close to nagito. what the fuck. she rolled over as much as she could, the binds on her legs a nuisance, holding her in place. nagito looked beautiful as he slept, lying there like something that had fallen from heaven. pretty ironic, considering he had called her an angel. his white hair was spread out everywhere, and his expression looked peaceful, like he wasn't thinking of anything for once. umeko wished that he'd stay like that forever. somebody like him didn't deserve the pain that he had likely been put through. she rolled around to the other side, wanting to give him space to wake up on his own.

"good morning, ume." nagito greeted, "how are you feeling after last night?"

oh, that son of a bitch.

"good...morning." she replied, and he laughed. the asshole laughed. how was he acting so composed?

he spoke up again, "how is it feeling?" he asked, a more serious look on his face this time. oh.

"what?" she questioned, trying to feign innocence. her black hair was covering her face now, as if it was trying to hide her expressions from the man in front of her. good job, hair.

"don't play dumb." nagito spoke sternly, staring at her as if he were looking straight into her soul.

"you've noticed, haven't you?" she whispered, her one free hand tracing circles on her leg anxiously.

"it would be pretty hard not to, umeko," the man replied, cocking his head. "you've been the most intimate with me...i'd wager more than with anyone else in your life. is this so far off?" nagito asks, and umeko knows he has a point. she hardly knew him and yet, she'd been so vulnerable with him. it felt like their polarity kept them together--they couldn't stay away from each other if they tried.

"i know more than i should, and i'm not sure why. i get flashes of memories related to life before we came here. they come in unintelligible fragments that i can't seem to decipher myself." umeko explained, fidgeting.

"interesting. are you comfortable telling me more?" he asks again

"i switch between feeling very hopeful, and wallowing in despair. i try to keep it to myself, so i'm not sure if anyone has even noticed, but i've been the only one to ever agree with you when you talk about hope," she paused for breath. "when i get the flashes, they show me images of a version of myself. sitting on rooftops, painting. my hand is covered too. i don't know why." she finished, sucking in a deep breath, waiting for a response from him that she was worried might not even come.

"that definitely explains a lot. do you have a idea to why you're the one that remembers?"

"something likely went wrong with whatever process has been done to keep us here. i feel like something about this place is off...like it's not--" before umeko could even finish her sentence monokuma had popped in out of nowhere, interrupting the pair. what was he playing at?

"ohhh, phuhuhu! what have we got here? it seems like fate has put you lovebirds together!" he trilled gleefully.

"that was you, monokuma." nagito deadpanned, frustrated at the intrusion.

"you're right...aren't i so great?" the bear laughed, reveling in the pair's displeased expressions.

"no." umeko said, answering his rhetorical question.

"oh, fujiki, you hurt my feelings...."

umeko rolled her eyes at him, "you're really pathetic if you rely on somebody like me to hold up your ego."

she heard nagito let out a laugh at this, stopping in his tracks to cover it up with a cough.

"whatever...you two are too boring for my liking." he disappeared with a huff.

"you had to laugh?" she looked over at nagito as he continued to laugh even more.

"sorry...i couldn't help it..."

she rolled her eyes at this, "as i was saying, before he got here...as soon as i get out of here, i'm going to start painting whatever i see. it seems wise to use my skills for something."

"ah, that makes sense. you never did tell me your ultimate talent." his hand is pressed to his lips, and umeko can see that he's biting his knuckles. what is he thinking?

"right...i'm the ultimate painter..."

"you'll have to show me that painting of yours when you finish it!" he's smiling that stupid smile again, the one that makes her nerves dance erratically. nobody has ever been this genuinely excited over her paintings before. people have only ever swarmed around her like a hive of bees, eyes pinned to her, seeing her for only her skills. her skills that kept them rich.

"i'm really not sure that it'll be up to your standards. i haven't picked up a brush since i got here..." she mumbled, her voice going quiet as something returned to her. nagito went to reply to her but fell stiff at the sight of her body going entirely still and her sclerae turning entirely black.

---

a crowd. a stage. surrounding her like nothing before. her body was betraying her, keeping her in place, unable to move.

"get up there right this instance!" a man was shouting urgently.

huh?

it was like something in her had turned...a cog oiled once more, allowing her to walk her way up the steps. she rose and rose, walking across the gleaming stage, the red curtains framing her like the ultimate attraction. the overwhelming sounds of cheering and clapping doing nothing to stir her from the trance. unable even to tremble, she took her place next to the old man, placing her hand in his, smiling gently--exactly like she had been told to. be nice, be quiet, and be grateful. who had said that? she didn't know. her mind was full and foggy. the award felt heavy in her hands, like it was weighing her down, the importance of its presence doing nothing to relieve her hurt.

"thank you." was all she said, holding up the certificate as her painting was projected onto the screen behind her. her black dress clung to her small body, her extravagant jewelry cold against her body.

---

"i..." she blinked, her eyes returning to normal.

"god, umeko. you were trembling the entire time..." nagito shuffled closer to her. as close as possible.

"what did you see?"

"i saw me. receiving a reward for a painting...i couldn't walk up onto the stage to receive it...but my father told me to move and suddenly i was moving..." she sighed. "there was so many people."

umeko could see the moon outside. had they really been talking for that long? when would she get out of here? she needed to do it now.

"oh, god, i probably sound like a fucking nutjob..." she huffed, scrunching her fingers in her long hair.

"if you're a nut, then i'm psychotic..." nagito laughed, removing her hands from her hair, and taking them into his own. oh god, his hands. "you should get some sleep, apricot. it's late." he spoke gently to the girl.

"and what about you?" she scoffed jokily.

"i'll sleep eventually."

she decided not to question it and instead moved her body into a comfortable enough position to fall asleep. "good night, nagito."

"sleep well, umeko."

umeko fujiki liked to avoid sleeping for as long as possible. it was hard to exist when she was awake, but her troubles followed her even in her dreams. she really could never catch a break. her life was a joke and she was sick of it. she did eventually fall asleep, her bag digging into her back, forewarning that she'd wake up with a unruly ache in her back.

the door opened again and the artist woke up, staring at hinata through her tired eyes. huh. did he not mind bringing food to them? she didn't have the energy to converse properly, simply mumbling a 'hi' instead. nagito woke up too, the noises pulling him from his dreams.

"Hajime?" he yawned, sitting up.

"Ah...could it be...? Did you take time out of your busy day to bring some food to little old us?" he smiled brightly and umeko bit her cheek furiously to hide her laughter. "wow, i'm so happy! are you happy, umeko?" he asked.

"i sure am!" she giggled

"nope...not today." was all hinata said, before he placed down the tray of food and practically ran out of the room. ah well.

"he really can't handle fun, can he?" she laughed, reaching over to grab the tray of food. umeko peeled off the plastic on the milk bottle as well as she could with one hand and placed it off to the side. she saw nagito lean closer and take a piece of the toast, eating it in close to one bite. he gestured at her with his free hand and she passed over the milk carefully. nagito gulped it down quickly and when he finished it was a sight to behold. he had this great grin on his face, and there were drops of milk around the corners of his lips.

"how did you manage to be that messy?" she groaned, but anybody could tell there was no real annoyance to be found in her tone.

"ah, my apologies." he said mockingly, raising one of his sleeves to the side of his face, wiping the area that he knew had no milk on it. ass.

"n-no...not...there..." she facepalmed, scrambling over to him, raising her thumb to his face. the artist gathered some of the milk on her thumb and brought it to her mouth. it was undeniably sweet. she lingered her thumb there, probably for a bit too long, and nagito noticed it too. he went stiff, a slight blush rising to his face. it was wordless, the movements that led her to what she did next. leaning in, she placed her lips against his, and god, it felt right. she couldn't complain...not after what they'd done before. it felt intoxicating to be this close to him again, savouring in his taste. it was even sweeter than the last time, the strawberry milk adding a new taste to the mix.

"umeko, you're gorgeous..." he nearly gasped, his thin hand clinging to a side of her face.

"and you're a tease." she rolled her eyes at him, almost sinking into his touch. she pressed her lips to his again, painfully aware of how fast things had been moving. nobody had ever made her react like this before, if her cracked memories were serving her right. it was like they understood each other completely. it wasn't only them either...umeko had seen the fascination that nagito felt towards hinata. he probably understood the same things they did...but it seemed like a part of his mind hadn't caught up to herself and nagito.

for now, umeko let herself stay in the moment. she crawled onto nagito's lap as fast as she could with only one arm available, shocking the white-haired man by reaching her hands underneath his shirt. the artist traced over the edges of his body like it was a masterpiece that she had painted herself. she traced a finger over each rib, causing nagito to shiver. she removed her lips almost lazily, moving her mouth down to his neck. she bit and mouthed at him, purple bruises appearing in her wake. she heard him whine lightly--needily.

ah well. it's not like there was anything better to do.

"hey, angel," he started, drawing her attention to him. "I want to try something, if that's okay with you? I understand if you don't want trash like me touching you."

umeko sighed, "you know, if i didn't want you touching me, i wouldn't have let you fuck me."

"ah, right." he moved his hands to her hips, gripping her skin tightly through the fabric. he began to pull her skirt down, leaving the bottom half of her body almost entirely exposed. his teased a finger under her panties and curled it up into her. umeko let out a whine, her mouth in the shape of an 'o'. It didn't take long for her to come, leaning her head down into the crook of his shoulder. he really was the only one she felt comfortable being this intimate with. she went boneless against him as he ran his hands through her hair, reveling in the softness.

he really was her guiding light towards hope.

Chapter Text

umeko woke to a hand urging her to get up. she wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, even though everything in her bag was digging into her abused body.

"huh?" she questioned groggily, taking nagito's hand. "how are you free from the binds?"

"I have my ways, don't you worry," he replied, removing her hand from the restraint so she could stand up. she had to admit, it was nice to be able to move freely after being stuck in one place for so long.
"we have to move quickly though. koizumi has been killed..." he explained, taking umeko's hand to lead them out of the old party building. she couldn't say that she was shocked that another person had been killed, but to say it uplifted her mood was a lie. she'd just ranted to her situationship about how nobody else being killed was the ideal outcome. and this? what a joke. she followed nagito anyway, until they eventually ran into hinata and nanami.

"why, hello there!" he spoke cheerfully to the pair, the look on hinata's face doing nothing to stop him from talking.

hinata looked like he might faint. "nagito, fujiki! what are you doing here?"

"yeah, why are you here?" nanami tilted her head to the side.

"ah, don't worry about us losers," he laughed. "anyway, you heard right? mahiru's been killed...it's terrible, isn't it? if only i could've taken her place," a smile returned to his face. "but i'm sure you will be able to shine through this...it's perfectly full of despair!"

hinata sighed. "why are you here? who told you guys about mahiru?"

umeko shrugged. "he did!"

"don't blame this on me, umeko..." he said, poking her in the side. "ah, don't give me that look. monomi told me..."

the bunny appeared at the mention of her name. "i did. i just wanted everyone to get along, i swear!"

"monomi's got a point..." nagito almost whispered.

"sorry guys, i've got to go do something." umeko explained to the group, giving nagito a half-hug before waving goodbye.

she had places to be. she saw the inevitable turn of nanami and hinata's heads as she left, but ignored their confusion. she walked at a normal pace, as to not arouse suspicion from any of the other island's inhabitants. it hurts knowing what she's about to do, but another person being murdered is the last thing that would motivate her. the pills digging into her back every night as she slept, reminding her of the personal promise to herself. she wasn't going to be able to lure somebody into killing her like nagito had tried. this was the second best bet. if nobody else was to do it, she'd do it herself.

she reached her cabin not long after, pushing the door open and sighing. paint tubes were scattered everywhere, a great and giant canvas standing proudly on a cabinet. a painting of nagito. finished, at that. the strokes of dried paint captured a moment in which she'd never forget. the first time she saw him. umeko was glad it was finished now. it left something behind for the man she had fallen in love with so deeply. she'd never admit it openly, but he'd captured her heart and showed it love.

she placed her bag down and removed the bottle of pills. the sneaky child locked cap didn't do anything to stop her either, and it wasn't long before she sat there with a gross amount of pills in her hand. she searched in the mini fridge for a bottle of water and downed the pills as fast as she could. mikan herself had said that it wouldn't take much, but the amount of pills she had to swallow had her annoyed. but she couldn't complain now.

her thoughts soon drifted off onto other things, memories from before jabberwock that she couldn't quite decipher. she remembered walking around desolated buildings, looking and looking and looking. for what, she wasn't quite sure. the sad houses screamed at her as she walked past, her combat boots trudging against the shards of glass and things on the road. there weren't many cars (or people) around this part since the warriors of hope had invited themselves.

memories like those were the ones that confused her the most. warriors of hope?

umeko's body was catatonic now, still and unable to move as her life quite literally flashed before her eyes. where was nagito now? had he noticed that something was up with her? it confused her, really. why did he care so much? about her of all people? she knew only of herself as a burden, even as she practiced her ultimate talent. even the feel of the feel of the paintbrush against the canvas did little to calm her nerves.

the edges of her vision were turning black. surely they'd started the class trial by now? ah, whoever it was, she hoped they'd find who did it. she couldn't feel much of her body anymore, but that didn't matter. she was simply removing the world of something it no longer needed. was that not a good thing?

the doorknob turned and she returned to the present. for a while.

a panicked nagito ran through the door with the most genuine emotion on his face since they were locked up together. he leant down next to her, holding her face tightly. sweat clung to his face.

"angel, please, what did you take?"

she turned her head to the bottle of pills next to her. "t-that." she mumbled.

"fuck." he cursed, "mikan!" he shouted, desperately urging the nurse to come.

"hah. it's okay nagito...just let me die..." she laughed as her eyes shut. she was so...so tired.

Chapter Text

"where am i?" umeko asked nobody in particular. in all honesty, she wasn't even sure if anyone else was in the room. it wasn't until she heard the anxious tapping of nagito's leg that she knew she wasn't alone.

"uhm...you're in the building the party was in..." tsumiki explained. "it's no hospital but i tried to make use of what we have here..." the nurse's voice still sounded shaky as ever, but it seemed to be slightly more rigid. she was doing something she was best at, nobody could doubt her when it came to this.

she coughed. "right...it didn't work." she almost mumbled, dejected. of course it hadn't. fuck! she should have grabbed a gun and shot herself square in the skull...

"i'm going to leave you alone now, but please tell me if you need anything." tsumiki uttered as she exited the room, smiling faintly in nagito's direction.

"hey." he greeted, making his way to the side of the hospital bed.

"i'm sorry." she mumbled, resting her hands on top of the white sheets.

nagito shifted on his feet. "i know, but i need to know why you did it."

umeko sighed, the movement hurting something in her throat. right. it made sense considering the nature of the pills she'd taken.

"i...i was too overwhelmed by this. all of it. i know things i shouldn't, and i only feel right when i'm painting! you're the only decent thing about this killing game, and even then, i am terrified that i will never be enough. you're smart and adaptable and your plan could've worked. me? i didn't even have a plan!" she yelled, her throat hurting with every syllable she spoke.

his arms were crossed now, the synthetic light casting onto his hair. "umeko, never do that to us again. you're a source of hope in this killing game, better than i could ever be. and sometimes, things work out even better when there's no plans. i know you have it in you to overcome this despair. would you do that for me?"

"i will."

he just smiled, "your painting's good too, you know? but i think you painted a better version of me. i can't say i'm as handsome as the other me."

she wanted. wished that she had it in her to say that he was handsome. infinitely better than the version of him that he held in his head. of course he was! instead, she was far too weak. she clung desperately to her next question, trying to drown the awkward silence.

"what happened at the trial?"

"pekoyama killed mahiru, which led to kuzuryu being included in the execution. he cared so much that he sacrificed himself in such a way..." he paused, bringing a hand to his face. "ah, but, he is alive...alive but injured...!" the look in his eyes was back.

"i see...maybe he's not as prickly as he likes to come off..."

nagito smiles again. there's a realness to this look that sends umeko tumbling off the metaphorical edge. "get some sleep, apricot. you need it."

-

umeko could feel heads turning as she entered the restaurant, eyes moving to her. the freak. the weirdo. the nut who tried to kill herself--and failed. her posture dampened, but the painter kept her head high, appearances more important than pain. it had always been that way. that was the way of the fujiki family. what she wasn't expecting was for owari to run towards her, trapping her in a confusingly tight hug. her moment, was of course, interrupted by saionji.

"you were planning this for a while, weren't you? you're a sneaky bitch!" she barked, grinning. "and you failed! what a loser."

she saw owari and nagito frown.

"i'm sorry you're hurting, saionji, but continue with this and it'll be you next." umeko replied, hiding the laughter in her voice. the reaction on her face was enough.

"well, i'm glad you're okay umeko!" ibuki smiled

it wasn't long before the conversation shifted. monomi appeared, smile on her stitched face.

"if you've defeated a monobeast...that means," nagito started, deep in thought.

the bunny raised her tiny fist in the air. "you now have access to another island!"

Chapter Text

"she ran off again...she's always like this when things get inconvenient for her!" ibuki complained, twirling a finger in her unruly hair.

nagito shrugged. "oh well, who cares about monomi? more importantly...what should we do about the new island?"

"what about fuyuhiko?" sonia asked

"we have to move forward, no matter the despair that stands in our way!" nagito spoke, his hope shining. umeko was starting to understand what he meant with all of it. he looked unstoppable. there was a grumble from the pink-haired mechanic.

"i'm also worried about fuyuhiko...but is it really okay if we just do nothing?" nanami questioned. "we should do what we can."

"she's right...let's try find a way off this island before he gets back." hinata agreed.

"you are right..." sonia replied

"i agree with miss sonia!" souda piped up, arms behind his head.

"then it's decided. let's explore and search for a new hope!"

"what's to say we can't just defeat a monobeast ourselves? It would be faster!" akane yelled

"hey, don't do anything reckless." nidai warned

"anyway, let us move onward to our hope filled future!"

the walk to the new island wasn't long in theory, but umeko stayed behind everyone while they walked. she didn't have anyone that she knew she could fall back on, nobody that she could walk beside. akane, ibuki, and sonia were nice, but umeko didn't want to burden them with her existence. and nagito? he probably wasn't avoiding her, but hadn't looked for her after that day. he always ranted about how he couldn't believe that anyone could like him, or his company, and now here she was thinking the same of herself. maybe he had grown tired of her pathetic nature? their arrival quickly snapped her out of her thoughts. the group looked around initially, taking in the sight of the ruined residencies, before deciding to investigate further.

it wasn't long before umeko saw everybody making their way to the hospital. nagito was following too, which meant that it was surely important. it baffled her though. she hadn't even had time to go to the movie theatre and see the movie that monokuma had been praising so highly. but considering the way nagito looked as he'd come out of the theatre, it couldn't have been that good. pushing her thoughts to the side, she made her way over to the hospital, following behind hinata. at least there was somebody who knew where they were going...

"you're late hajime. looks like you're the last one." nagito pointed out. he was still standing in the lobby of the hospital. "there's patient rooms lining the hallway, but everyone is apparently gathered at the room in the very back."

it was hinata's turn to be confused. "you're not going with them?"

"miss sonia...she cordially asked me to come. nevertheless...i know my place, and i'm not reckless enough to go along with her. since it's going to be such a touching scene, a worthless thing like me would just be a nuisance, right?

"a touching scene?" hinata asked confusedly

she wanted to be mad at him, wanted to tug at his jacket and demand him to answer why he was being so distant. but that would make her a hypocrite. she couldn't stand here and say she was good at being vulnerable, or open with her feelings at all. but his dialogues of self-hatred annoyed umeko like nothing else. she'd felt that way too, so many times in her life, but she knew too, that it was a way for him to put his walls up, when all she wanted was to get closer to him. she'd been so close to him physically, but not emotionally. she needed more. she wanted to get off this island and grow old with the asshole.

"hajime, i'm jealous of you." nagito finally said, breaking the silence that had allowed her thoughts to wander.

"of me?"

"you don't know what your talent is, but you're showing no distress and you're even opening up to everyone...that must mean you have a lot of confidence in yourself, right?"

"...are you being sarcastic?"

"n-nope. not at all... but still...i do wonder what sort of talent you really possess. since you've dragged it out this long already, i'm sure it must be an appropriately magnificent talent..."

"who knows...? it's not like it's my fault for dragging this out."

"you're right...ah i'm sorry...i'm sorry for stopping you for such a foolish conversation. please go on ahead. take care."

she waited until the coast was clear before she left her hiding spot and walked down the hallway of the hospital. the entire hall was white and pristine, with hardly any colour in sight. it wasn't long before she found the rest of the group, and the unsettling feeling of being watched finally dispersed.

Chapter Text

the sight of the hot-headed yakuza lying in bed didn't shock umeko in the slightest. rather, it was the sound of his voice, and the words he spoke. instead of biting back at every comment, he was instead conversing like a normal person. she stood nearest to the door, watching the group share words of relief at his return. the painter started to zone out as they started discussing the wounds he had. it wasn't really something she wanted to think about, after all.

"um...i think he should rest here for a while," mikan explained anxiously, glancing over at how kuzuryu had turned over in the hospital bed, probably wanting to be alone with his grief once more. "his wounds need to heal, but i will take good care of him."

umeko couldn't help but snicker at the conversation between akane and nekomaru, but still stayed silent due to a lack of anything to say. they'd all decided to leave, so she made the walk back to her cottage, her limp as obvious as ever. too obvious at that, it even had hinata worrying.

"fujiki, are you okay?" he asked, gesturing to her leg.

she sighed. "i'm fine. i was born with fucked up joints, so the bad leg comes with it."

"just...be careful, okay?"

she nodded, waving as she continued to walk away. she not so subtly increased her speed in an attempt to shake his worry off. that was the last thing she needed. she still had to figure out whatever crap nagito was planning, and having somebody worried for her got in the way of that. so what if she'd tried to kill herself? it hadn't even worked, anyway! umeko didn't need to be put on suicide watch considering she was restricted from entering the pharmacy again. the only thing kept in her bag now were painting brushes and paints, along with the paper rose that nagito had gifted her on the night of the party.

she shrugged to herself as she pushed open the door to her cottage, stepping into her only sanctuary. umeko took off her bag and sat down, taking her canvas down from the cabinet and returning to work. the painting in front of her was nagito again, but this one was different. she didn't know what had come over when the idea popped in her head. it was still him, with his unruly white hair and that crazed look in his eyes, but he was changed. he bore a long chain around his neck and a dark leather jacket that clung to his skinny frame. perhaps it was a fragment of the past? hope? despair? she wasn't sure.

all she knew were the strokes of paint against the canvas as she painted until she ached. she thought only of him, and his unreadable actions. why was he ignoring her? she wanted to punch him until he bruised and bled, but she also wanted nothing more than to hold him until he cried. umeko wanted to kiss him until she was blushing everywhere, to show him how much he meant to her. she was sick of pretending that they didn't have a red string connecting them, that they didn't mean anything to each other.

she always wanted what was bad for her.

so what?

she painted until her hands screamed at her, and her fingers had locked up, refusing to let her land another stroke of colour onto the canvas. she'd packed up as quickly as she could without a cane. the one she had before had been taken by monokuma himself in the early days of jabberwock. the thought still annoyed her, so she returned to her bed for yet another dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

"i'm going to paint the world in despair..." she mumbled against his chest, her hands wrapped around his body.

he laughed. "i'm sure you will, apricot." he replied, moving one of his hands to her thigh, rubbing gentle circles on her skin. she really was that easy to tease, even when the only thing she had on her mind was disgusting despair.

The world went black when she saw him.

”Nagito!” Umeko screamed, falling to her knees, shaking his body in desperation. His body-no, his corpse lay there lifeless and unresponsive.

“Fujiki!” Hajime called out to her, but there was no point. She was gone. This world had taken the only thing from her that meant anything. Her muse, her love, her everything. And the last thing she had said to him? Angry, harsh words that had pierced through the skin just like the metal rods in this moment. His scared face was stuck onto his cold skin. She couldn’t breathe. This was sick. And it wasn’t anybody’s fault. He’d done it to himself.

She kneeled down closer to his body, aware of all the people watching her. Umeko pulled the jacket off his body, and left. Their words were silent and unheard, even as she pulled the jacket over her own limbs. She didn’t give one fuck.

If she were to look in a mirror, she knew that she would see the dullness of despair in her eyes. Before this island, she would’ve found this feeling to be beautiful and intoxicating. But now she saw it for what it was - poison.

She pushed open the door of her cottage and slid under the covers, hugging her knees.

A while later, she found the strength to climb out of bed. Umeko saw her painting supplies first, and began to pull bristles from brushes and squeeze paint out of tubes. She didn’t care what Monokuma would have to say about it.

She had gone to the trial, remaining silent and unmoving for the entirety. It had taken them a lot longer to figure out he had done it himself.

...

“Nagito?”

She ran to him in a hurry, uncaring of everybody’s reactions. He couldn’t help but laugh as they tumbled over into the sand as she hugged him.

“Don’t do that ever again or i’ll kill you myself.” She explained, less malice in her voice than in the simulation.

“Okay, angel. I love you.”

A blush formed on her cheeks. “I love you too. I’m sorry that our last conversation was an argument.”

“I was being an ass, not you.”

She could only kiss him in response, knowing that it was true and real this time.

She was dressed like she was years ago, in her apron covered in paint. The difference? Despair was not on her mind.

“Aww, guys, look at the lovebirds.” Ibuki smiled. “What if I dedicate a song to you guys?”