Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Summer consists of sunshine that warms your soul, tans, swimming, light-breezy clothes, open windows, beach trips, tank tops, shorts and an iced drink. Summer in Gotham was like somebody locked you in an oven while you were wearing winter clothes. In the daytime summer was normal. Kids were outside in the parks, teens were at the pools and families would spend the day out while the breeze from the harbor kept everyone from melting. And speaking of the harbor, the harbor was a popular place in the summertime. If you wanted to be specific, the boardwalk (not the area where all the shady shit goes down). In the summertime it was pretty common to see families playing the games, taking rides on the roller coasters, or even walking down to the nearby beach to go into the water. 

But that was all in the daytime. The problem with Gotham’s summers was the night time. When the breeze mysteriously dropped and no matter how much AC you had on, it always felt like a sauna. Dick technically wasn’t supposed to be in Gotham. And as soon as he breached the city’s borders he wished he wasn’t. The heat clung to his skin, the grime and smog making it almost unbearable. Even the coolers on his suit weren’t doing much to help. It’s fine. You’ll be in and out in no time.

“Long time no see Birdie.” Dick curses. He had followed a couple of henchmen to one of the buildings in Gotham. Swinging up he spotted them on the roof of the building. The building itself was an apartment, the roof had a little garden and an open pool for the tenants. After successfully knocking all the henchmen out, he had just grabbed the bag of stolen money when Slade showed up. The fight with the henchmen didn’t take too long. The heat had a way of slowing people down. But Slade. Ugh. As if he wasn’t sweaty enough as it is. 

“Slade. What do you want?” Dick sighs, already knowing what’s to come. 

“I think you know what I want.” And thus the fight begins. Slade, no surprise, was after the money Dick had just managed to snatch, apparently it was his paycheck. But after 3 weeks of investigating, there was no way in HELL he was just gonna let Slade entitled-asshole Wilson take it. So despite the sweltering heat they fought. Dick usually didn’t mind the occasional spat and fight with Slade. But in the middle of Gotham summer when the alternative was resting in his air conditioned apartment with a tub of ice cream? Well Dick’s choice was pretty clear. 

“Can we just call it even? It’s boiling here.” Dick grunts as Slade slams him down on the concrete. The pool was right next to him. I wish… Dick thinks wistfully before leaping up and kicking the mercenary hard. They fight for another couple of minutes. The heat was so bad Dick was ready to jump into the pool fully clothed. It would be hell to get home with the wet suit but Dick would take a bit of discomfort later, over the sahara-levels of heat right now. 

“You seem sluggish Little Bird.” Slade chuckles pinning the vigilante to the side of the roof access. 

“It’s the heat. I’m pretty sure it’s killing me faster than you can.” Dick grunts, squirming as Slade grabs the bag. 

“You sure about that kid?” Slade presses his arm down, cutting off airflow. Dick spots something by his feet and decides to wing it. He flicks his left foot and the hose rams into Slade’s face, a crack running through his iconic orange and black mask. Then before Slade can process what’s happening, Dick grabs the hose and turns on the nozzle, shooting the mercenary with a torrent of water. After the mercenary is fully dowsed, the water runs out. Leaving Slade soaked, and Dick holding a green garden hose. Dick bites his lip to keep from laughing at the absurdity of the situation. He should be afraid. Slade was pissed. But Dick was also probably going into heat stroke. So all he could think was that Slade looked like a put-off kitten who got thrown into a lake. But then he sees the bag of money in Slade’s hands. It was completely wet.

“HAVE FUN DRYING THAT!” Dick yells, swinging away as he loses his battle with laughter. He barely manages to land straight before the usually graceful vigilante collapses in hysterics. 

“NIGHTWING!?” Slade’s roar only fueled Dick’s mirth. Superman definitely heard that. Forget that. His FAMILY definitely heard that. Dick should probably be more worried about that. But right now he was struggling to stand up as giggles threatened to overwhelm him, and he also had a pissed off mercenary on his tail. Dick manages to stand upright and looks back to find Slade a couple rooftops behind him, he had taken the broken mask off. Besides that, the Terminator had discarded heavier elements of his outfit, taking off at least 2 of his gun holsters as well as the armor on his shoulders and some on his legs and arms. It was still much heavier than Dick’s suit. 

So Dick does what every responsible, sane person does when they’re faced with a raging mercenary they just embarrassed. He sticks his tongue out and starts to run. Slade gives chase. Dick ducks from alleyway to alleyway. Vaguely he thinks he should probably send an “I Love You” message to his friends and family. Because when Slade caught him there was no way he was leaving this encounter alive. It’s better than slowly boiling to death in the heat though. After about 5 minutes of running, Dick slows down. Slade was gone. Or at least Dick couldn’t see him anywhere. He’s not stupid. Slade was probably gonna wait for him to go home before ruthlessly murdering him. Dick jumps down towards the street, hoping to deter his ex-arch enemy from sending him into a freefall. That was one way he didn’t want to die. 

Dick lands on one of the streetlights. Gotham’s nightlife wasn’t dead per say. It’s just the heat that makes everyone stay indoors. A little bit of AC was better than none. Dick had yet to hear from any of his siblings or dad, even the comms were quiet. He knew they were all patrolling today, much to their annoyance, if the group chat had anything to say about it. Just as Dick contemplates writing his goodbye messages he gets blasted off the street light, slipping, sliding and crashing onto the ground. The cool water was a godsend, clearing the fuzziness of heat from his mind. He blinks past the water as it continues cascading on him.

Slade’s face can only be described as smug as he stands next to the fire hydrant he broke. 

Dick sputters, trying, and failing, to stand up as water makes every attempt turn him into a flailing monkey. Slade has the audacity to laugh at him.  

“Can’t handle a taste of your own medicine can you Gray-” Slade gets cut off as the water abruptly changes direction, completely smothering his attempts to goad the vigilante on. 

Dick grins, using broken parts of the same fire hydrant to redirect the water at the mercenary. Then he gets up, slipping and tripping to a motorcycle with the keys already in it. He thanks the universe for giving him good luck, hops on, and revs the engine as Slade curses behind him. 

“You called us here… for a broken fire hydrant?” Spoiler says irritably. 

“It exploded and then somebody stole my bike!” Random Idiot exclaims, Steph and Jason exchange annoyed looks. This was not at all how they wanted this patrol to go. If anything they shouldn't be patrolling outside right now at all. It was definitely over 100 degrees outside and both of them were melting. Steph had half a mind to take her hood and the mask off of her face, identities be damned. Jason was pissed off, his hair was sticking to his forehead and his helmet felt like a sauna even with its fans on. 

“So you think the person who broke the fire hydrant stole your bike?” Jason drawls, all he could think of was Dick, probably sitting in the AC of his apartment in Bludhaven. These were the times that Jason thought that Dick was the smart one of all of them. Being in the city meant that to some extent, you still had to listen to Batman. Whether you were a hero in your own right or not. But Dick? He flew off. He didn't have to deal with the Bat’s summons. 

“Yes! Yes exactly!” Random Idiot says, dragging Jason’s musings back to the present. Right. This guy.  

“So what, you want us to catch a bike thief?” Spoiler gives him an uninterested look. She had to admit that the broken fire hydrant was a bit weird. Then again it was Gotham. A lot of weird things happened. This fucking heat…

“Yes! Isn't that what you guys do! Muggers and stuff! This is a literal thief! A strong one too!” Random Idiot retorts, Random Idiot seems to have forgotten that he was speaking with Red Hood and Spoiler. 

“I mean maybe if you weren’t a dumbass and left your keys in the ignition, we’d be more willing to help.” Jason growls, Steph gives him a weird look. 

“How.. I.. how did you know that I?” 

“This is Gotham.” Jason retorts, patience running thin. Steph was looking at him warily. 

“Yeah. And you just kept your key in the ignition. It's like you were asking for it to get stolen.” Steph says, Jason could tell that underneath her mask she was grimacing. Was it something I said? 

“I.. you…” 

“Just file a complaint with the police. Now goodbye!” Steph swings up to the rooftop, Jason following as the guy grumbles and walks away.

“Fucking idiots.” Jason pulls his helmet off. It doesn't help. 

“Man the heat is really getting to you isn’t it?” Steph responds pulling her hood and mask down. Her face was red, probably just as red as Jason’s. 

“No shit it is. This helmet is terrible.” Jason grumbles, 

“You literally chose to wear it.” Steph deadpans, 

“And what’s with that look you gave me?” 

“What look?” 

“You were grimacing at me when I was yelling at that idiot.” Jason says, Steph grimaced again. “See! Exactly like that!” 

“Yeah because you sounded like Bruce for a couple minutes.” Steph responds, Jason blinks at her. 

“I did not.” 

“Did too.”

“Did fucking not.” 

“Deny it all you want Jay. Heat turns you into Bruce.” Steph shrugs, Jason just glares at her. “See! You look like Bruce!” 

“We look nothing alike.” 

“You both turn into tomatoes when you’re in the sun too long.” 

“Yeah well so do you!” 

“Jay the only people who tan in this family are Cass, Damien and Dick. The rest of us all turn into fire ants in the sun.” Steph retorts, with a chuckle. Jason laughs despite the sweltering heat. 

“That would be accurate if it was sunny right now.” Jason says once his snickers die down.

“Yeah well you’re still a beetroot anyway.” Steph grins, 

“If I'm a beetroot… you’re… a really embarrassed carrot.” Jason snickers, Steph wheezes hunching over as she laughs her ass off. 

“God I must really be delirious if I thought that was that funny.” Steph says as her giggles taper off. 

“You and I both Steph. You and I both.” Jason mutters, both of them already dreading when they have to don their personal hells again. 

Chapter Text

War had been declared the second Dick had doused Slade with the hose. And now it wasn’t gonna end until one of them conceded defeat. And Dick? He had been taught by Bruce at a very young age that defeat wasn’t an option. Especially against a mercenary. So Dick schemed. Tim and Bruce with their eidetic memories and Babs with her technology know-how, were always considered the smartest in the family. With all the big brains walking around, Dick’s as well as some of the other’s intelligence and strategic know-how can sometimes be underestimated or even forgotten completely. The universe knows how many times he and Jason have complained about it when no one else was around. Because it was annoying! Being underestimated could be good. But when people completely forget that you do have brain cells? Yeah that sucks ass. 

Dick’s big plan involved Gotham’s sewer. He knew that there was an underground sewer river that he could use to his advantage. It was just a matter of… redirecting some of the flow the way he pleased. So he did just that. He stopped by a safehouse and grabbed as many of the entry-barring devices there were. It took about an hour to plop all of them into place and activate them. Now he just had to find out where Slade was. 

The heat was definitely back, and the filthy stench of the sewer made it even worse. His hair was now damp from sweat instead of water. Belatedly he realizes that he should probably tell his family that everything was okay, so that they wouldn’t freak out, when suddenly he’s hit in the face. As he blinks water out of his eyes he spots the sniper. Oh fuck. Dick starts running. Because Slade, the absolute nutcase, had a rocket launcher in his arms. The water balloon hits Dick in the back exploding and sending the vigilante crashing down. As he tries to scramble up Slade laughs and continues bombarding him with the rocket-launcher-water balloons. Where the hell did he even get water balloons from??

They take on a high-speed, high-stakes game of tag through the city as Dick takes to the rooftops and Slade continues shooting him. He manages to dodge most of them but a couple hit and the force sends him crashing over a rooftop, through people’s drying laundry and onto the street below. Slade jumps down, shooting the fallen vigilante in the face. 

“Hurts doesn’t it? To get hit with a blast of water?” Slade sneers, continuing to shoot him. Dick scoots back towards the street and out of the alleyway as the mercenary continues his assault. 

“THAT’S!” Dick gets hit. “NOT!” He gets hit again. “FAIR! DAMN FUCK SAHSOI-” Dick can barely get a word out as water continually drowns out his words. Meanwhile the mercenary forces him to continue backing into the street to avoid as many hits as possible. Not that it’s helping much with Slade at such a close distance. At this point the water balloons through the rocket launcher were really starting to hurt and Dick was getting pissed. But luckily, or unluckily for Slade, Dick finds himself sitting with his back to a sewer grate that’s on the side of the sidewalk.

“You really need to start picking and choosing your battles Little Bird. Didn’t DaddyBats ever-” Slade gets cut off as Dick activates his little sewer prank. Dick rolls out of the way just as the sewer water surges. He must have underestimated the force it would have after blocking all other avenues. Because the water destroys the hatch and sends Slade flying to the other side of the road. Dick guffaws at him as the World’s Deadliest Mercenary gets reduced to the likes of a writhing disgusting sewer eel. 

“I think actually YOU should pick and choose your battles Slade.” Dick shoots him a shit-eating grin before he swings away.

Did anybody know that those splash pads in parks were programmed? That the little sprites of water that shot up were all a part of a complex algorithm? Dick did. And it was laughably easy to get the pad to work for him. Getting Slade to follow him to the park was even easier. Everything was flowing so smoothly that Dick was sure that Slade had something planned. 

“YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT SLADE!” Dick calls behind him while the mercenary gives chase. Slade jumps, landing on Dick’s back. They both go down on the splash pad. 

“Yeah because SOMEONE shot me with SEWER WATER!” Slade growls, pinning him down. 

“Man that guy seems fun. You should introduce us sometime.” Dick grins slipping out from underneath him. 

“I’ll probably introduce my fist to his face first.” Slade snarls, chasing him. 

“Fist to his face? Seriously. That’s the best comeback you got?” Dick snickers, “It was just a little water!”

“I SMELL LIKE A DYING FISH SMARTASS!” Slade snaps, 

“WELL YOU SHOT ME WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER!” 

“THEY WERE WATER BALLOONS!” 

“THEY HURT LIKE HELL!” 

“SO YOU’RE RETALIATION WAS DOUSING ME IN THE EQUIVALENT OF SKUNK PISS?!” 

“YOU BLASTED ME WITH A FIRE HYDRANT!” 

“YOU HIT ME WITH A HOSE FIRST!” Dick had enough of Slade’s tantrum. He taps on his wrist gauntlet. Interrupting the mercenary mid-rant with a blast of water in the face. 

“WHAT THE PSISYCH-” Slade sputters as the water cuts off his words. 

“Sucks doesn't it?” Dick grins, 

“YOU LITTLE-” Slade shouts walking towards him, but more little geysers erupt, drowning out his words. 

“Getting water boarded everytime you try to talk is kinda annoying right?” Dick drawls,

“YOU ARE SO PETTY AND ENTITLE-KSOEHFNCN-” Slade snarls as more water cuts him off. He blocks some of the water spouts with his feet. “Fuck you Grayson!” With that Slade pulls out a little remote and presses a button. 

“What’s that for?” Dick teases, until he hears a whirring sound and suddenly he’s being pelted with little pods of water. He starts running, barely glancing back to see a FUCKING MACHINE GUN shooting water pellets at him. 

“WHAT THE FUCK SLADE?!” Dick shrieks, as the pellets explode on his back. It hurt worse than the rocket launcher. The little water stored in the pellets was all but cutting through his suit.

“HURTS DOESN’T IT?” Slade shouts back, Dick retaliates by forcing more geysers to erupt at him. “HEY THAT HIT MY EYE!” 

“TURN THAT THING OFF!” 

“I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING DIPSHIT!” 

“JUST PRESS THE BUTTON AND TURN IT OFF! YOU DON’T NEED EYES TO PUSH A BUTTON!” Dick hollers, 

“STOP HITTING ME WITH PLAYGROUND SPLASH PAD WATER!” 

“WHAT KIND OF MERCENARY GET’S HIT WITH PLAYGROUND SPLASH PAD WATER?!” 

“OH FUCK OFF! YOU TRY WALKING THROUGH A MINEFIELD!” 

“AND YOU TRY GETTING  IN THE MIDDLE OF OPEN FIRE IN WORLD WAR 2!” Dick yells back. He ducks behind a tree to avoid the water pellets while Slade makes it through the splash pad. Dick turns off the splash pad. Slade turns off the machine gun. Dick pokes his head out from behind the tree and glares at the Terminator. 

“I STILL WON THAT ONE!” Slade calls with a grin,

“YOU GOT HIT WITH WATER FROM A KIDDY PAD!” Dick snaps, “I HAVE TO SUFFER WITH PELLET SIZED BRUISES ON MY BACK!”

“EXACTLY! SO I WON!” Slade retorts, Dick wants to strangle the smugness out of his voice. Instead he quells down his anger and formulates another plan. Everything was too small. Dick hits Slade with hose water? Slade retaliates with a fire hydrant. Dick rigs a splash pad? Slade hits him with water pellets. The one thing that worked was the sewer water. And even then it was because Slade was chasing him around with a rocket launcher and water balloons.  So all of this meant 1 thing. Dick just needs to outgun Slade.

“So you’re telling me that the sewer grate just randomly burst open.” Tim says skeptically. 

“It just exploded dude! You should have seen it! Just KABLOOM!” Tim was half-convinced the guy he was talking to was drunk. Tim felt high as hell on the heat alone that’s for sure. 

“So you think someone bombed the sewer?” Tim responds uninterested. 

“Maybe man. No clue. It stinks here though.” And yeah. That was one thing that was true. The entire street smelled terrible. 

“Why would anybody bomb a sewer?” 

“Beats me man. You’re the detective. You figure it out.” Probably-Drunk-Guy retorts, Tim has half a mind to clock him in the back of the head with his bo. It’s not like he’ll remember in the morning anyway… Before he can act on his intrusive thoughts, Cass and Babs start talking through the comms. 

“Red, are you there?” Cass asks, 

“Yeah what’s up guys?” 

“What do you know about splash pads?” Babs cuts in, 

“Splash pads?” 

“Like splash pad algorithms? The ones that control the water? Because I’m pretty sure somebody messed with this one.” Babs responds, 

“Guys it is hot as the fucking sahara out here and I was just talking with some half-drunk guy about somebody bombing a sewer.” Tim deadpans, 

“Why would anybody bomb a sewer?” Cass asks, 

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW OKAY!” Tim snaps, 

“Red. Calm down. I know the heat’s getting to you. It's getting to all of us.” Babs says, calmly. 

“Easy to say when you’re not in the field.” Tim grumbles, 

“We think somebody hacked into that splash pad in the Kingsfield Park.” Cass cuts in before Babs rips Tim a new one. 

“The splash pad in the park? Why would anybody hack that?” 

“Why would anybody explode a sewer?” Babs counters, 

“Not to mention Spoiler and Hood said something about a broken fire hydrant and a stolen motorcycle like 2 hours ago.” Cass pipes in, 

“They did? I don't remember that.” 

“Just blame it on the heat induced amnesia.” Babs retorts, both Tim and Cass burst out laughing. Tim hunches over and he vaguely registers the sweat dripping down onto the ground in front of him. 

“Man you guys are farther gone than I thought… I’ll try to get B to cut patrol off early but… well..” 

“Please. That’s as likely as a horse shitting out mice instead of poop.” Cass retorts, Tim finds himself laughing harder. More sweat pools on the concrete below him. Man am I gonna be dehydrated by the end of this shit… 

“Anyway…” Babs pauses, waiting for Tim to stop laughing. “Try to stay hydrated guys.” Both of them murmur their responses before the comm cuts off. 

Chapter Text

Gotham soon was reduced to a glorified playground. With Slade and Dick both trying to one up each other. Slade had exploded a fountain. So Dick avalanches water on him from a water tank he had found. Slade tossed Dick into a pool, so Dick shot him again with a hose. All around the city, sewers, hoses, water guns, and water balloons were being “borrowed” for the war effort. 

“DAMN YOU SLADE!” Dick yells, as the mercenary shoots him with a water gun. They were facing off on the rooftop of a fancy hotel. 

“YOU STARTED THIS!” Slade yells back. Dick, already annoyed, rushes forward despite the water gun and tackles him back into the pool he was standing in front of. 

“HA! TAKE THAT YOU ASSHOLE!” Dick grins swimming up to the surface. “Maybe you shouldn’t have stood with your back to the pool if-” He gets hit in the face. He blinks, staring at the mercenary in shock. There was no way he just….

“I didn't expect this to be that effective in shutting you up.” Slade grins, holding the pool noodle lazily. 

“THAT IS NOT!” Slade hits him in the head with the pool noodle. “YOU CAN’T JUST!” Slade hits him. “HOW OLD ARE YOU!?” Slade just keeps smacking him with the pool noodle. “STOP IT!” Dick goes under the water before swimming to the other end of the pool and jumping out. Slade starts shooting him with water balloons. 

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GETTING THOSE FROM?!” Dick shrieks, 

“Do you yield?” Slade asks, pausing to let Dick speak. 

“Never.”

Bruce was confused. And he wasn’t used to being confused. This patrol might have not been his best idea considering the heat was worse than Nanda Parbat, as Damien kept complaining. But either way he was kinda glad they were out. Because something bizarre was happening. 

“Another broken one here B.” Spoiler’s voice comes through the comms. 

“We’re on our way.” Bruce grunts, as they swing over to Steph’s location, they see another geyser of water go up across the city. 

“What on earth is going on?” Damien asks, 

“I don’t know. But we’re going to find out.” 

They make it to Steph’s location to find the other’s already assembled. 

“That looks like somebody rigged it to blow.” They were all standing around another destroyed fire hydrant. 

“We saw something else blowing up across the city.” Damien says, announcing their arrival. 

“I’m not surprised. There have been reports of all sorts of weird things going on.” Jason hums, 

“All related to water.” Cass adds, 

“I wish this thing exploded on me.” Steph mumbles wistfully. That was something they could all silently agree on. 

“But why the hell is somebody stealing water toys?” Tim asks, 

“Maybe because it's hot outside.” Damien deadpans, 

“Yeah but hoses being used up? Pools having their water drained? Sewers erupting? The splash pads acting weird?” Tim counters, 

“Red Robin’s right. This seems to be a coordinated effort.” Bruce interjects, 

“It could be. Considering a bunch of these fire hydrants were definitely blown apart.” Jason hums, 

“And what about the plastic things we found in the park and in the street?” Cass adds, 

“Plastic things?” Bruce questions, 

“Yeah. You know that first sewer that broke? There were some plastic things there.” Tim explains, “They seemed stretchy.” 

“And at the park there were these little pellet things littered on the ground.” Cass adds, 

“Pellets?” Jason questions, “What kind?” 

“Here.” Cass pulls a small bag out of her utility belt and hands it over to the marksman. Jason scrutinizes the pellets. 

“These are from a machine gun.” Jason says slowly. 

“A machine gun?!” Tim exclaims, 

“Yep.” 

“Hood are you sure?” Bruce says, 

“Are you dressed like a Bat right now?” Jason snaps, “Yes I’m sure. I think these were filled with something too. You said that you found them by the splash pad at Kingsfield Park right?” Jason turns to Cass. “How close were they to the pad?” 

“They were all spread out. But they were all coming from 1 direction.” 

“So we have a sniper. Probably chasing after somebody.” Damien cuts in, 

“Deathstroke maybe?” Steph offers, 

“No. Gotham’s too hot for him in the summer. He’ll probably be at some beach right now.” Bruce dismisses, 

“The Terminator relaxing on a beach? Now that’s something you wouldn't expect.” Tim snickers, 

“Why does the placement of the pellets matter Hood?” Steph asks once they all stop chuckling. 

“Because if there was something in the pellets they may have gotten into the splash pad water if it was active. You said that somebody hacked into it right Red?” Jason turns to Tim, 

“Yeah they did. The timing of all of the water thingies was off.”

“What if the pellets weren’t being aimed at a person? But at the splash pad?” Damien suggests,

“You think somebody was trying to get something into the splash pad?” Bruce asks dubiously. 

“It makes sense. The pad isn't exactly large. But if it becomes contaminated then it’ll reach the rest of the city since all the water is the same.” Damien continues, 

“Not to mention it's harder to trace stuff from such a small source versus a larger river where we can easily find contaminated water.” Steph adds, 

“Why does that sound counterproductive?” Tim scrunches up his face. 

“It does but I kinda get what they're saying. This would be a subtle way of contaminating the water supply.” Jason agrees, 

“But what about all the other stolen water toys? The fire hydrants?” Bruce asks, 

“Maybe they’re trying to empty them so that the next water that comes out is the contaminated water.” Cass offers, 

There was silence as they processed all of it. 

“So we need to test the water and those pellets to see if there’s any residue left from any sort of drug or chemical.” Bruce finally says, 

“Me and Red can do that.” Jason offers, 

“Get it done as fast as possible. If this water is contaminated and it's being shot all over the city we need to find a way to catch the perpetrator and stop this.” Bruce grunts, 

“Got it B.” Both Reds say in unison. They both pull their grapples out just as somebody flies past them faster than a Kryptonian. 

“Uh. Did you guys see that?” Steph asks, as they all stare in the direction the figure was running. 

“Should we go after that person?” Damien asks, the heat was clearly slowing their brains down because none of them even consider moving, instead opting to continue staring after the figure as it flies away.

“Who the hell even was…” Before Jason can even finish the statement he's blasted and sent crashing into a window. 

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS!” Chaos takes over as a truck comes barreling down the road. All of them make a mad dash to get out of the way as water douses them and sends all highly trained vigilantes slipping and sliding all over.

“I CAN’T STOP SLIDING!” Tim shrieks, as he pinballs across the street.  

“HOLD ONTO SOMETHING!” Steph yells back from where she was clutching a lamp post. Damien crashes into her, both of them tumble and land on the sidewalk. 

“DAMMIT RED WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Jason yells, 

“EVERYTHING’S SLIPPERY!” Tim yells back. As Bruce tries to get up he finds his footing unsteady and he crashes back on the ground. 

“THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE WATER!” Bruce yells, 

“NO SHIT SHERLOCK!” Jason yells back, 

Cass, who had enough brain cells to jump up instead of to the side, grabs Tim with her grapple and swings them both over to where Jason was currently trying to stand up without slipping and falling on glass shards. 

“What the hell was that?” Jason asks as they help him to stand. The ground was indeed more slippery than it should be.

“I think it was a fire truck.” Steph calls, 

“Everyone to the rooftops. The ground is too slippery to move on right now.” Bruce orders, they all pull their grapples out and launch up into the air. 

“Okay so there’s definitely something in the water. It rains all the time and it's never slippery like that.” Damien says once they are able to stand without falling over. 

“The Reds will test it. Oracle do you have eyes on that fire truck? The rest of us will follow it.” Bruce says into the comm. 

“What about that person that flew by before the fire truck showed up?” Steph asks, 

“We should probably find that person too. It seemed like they were trying to escape the fire truck.” Cass hums, 

“So we’re looking for 2 people then. And 1 of them is probably some sort of sniper. Great.” Tim grumbles, 

“Hey at least it's not as hot any more.” Jason grins, 

“You got blasted into a window by a fire truck hose and your main thing right now is that it's less hot than it was before?” Tim asks incredulously. 

“Hey. It's hotter than Kori’s hair out here. If we’re getting reprieve, why not take it?” 

“We don’t know what’s in the water! There could be so much more than a slippery agent!” 

“I'm hot Tim! I think I'm actually gonna die again!” 

“Boys. The test. We don't have time to go to the cave for it. Just do it now.” Bruce interrupts the brewing argument. “If we’ve all been doused with that water, who knows what will happen to us.” 

“Oh no we’re gonna turn into fish now.” Jason mutters sarcastically. But nonetheless they both pull out the portable testing kits and get to work. 

“The rest of us will work to track down the truck and the 2 suspects. Let us know what you find from the test.” Cass, the automatic 2nd in command since without Dick around she was the oldest demands. Tim nods and Jason gives a mock salute before the rest of them disperse.

Slade was out of his goddamn mind. Stealing a fire truck?! What the hell was he thinking? Dick shouts obscenities at the bastard as he chases him through the city. Until they came to a street where he saw some familiar shapes standing by one of the hundreds of broken fire hydrants. Aw fuck. He moved faster hoping and praying they don't recognize him. All the while desperately trying to avoid getting hit by Slade. The lunatic was shooting the hoses everywhere and it was making it difficult to land anywhere without slipping and falling. Dick had a feeling he had put something into the water to make it more slippery. Either way Dick was on the run. He could hear his family screaming behind him, but Dick had his own life to worry about. A blast of water hits Dick and sends the 1st Robin crashing to the ground. Dick braces himself, fully expecting the fire truck to run him over. Instead it stops about a foot away from him. Slade hops out. 

“You need some help there Grayson?” Slade grins at him smugly. Dick glares at him as he struggles to sit up. Dammit what the hell is in the water? 

“Nope. I’m. Just. Fine.” Dick grunts as he manages to right himself. Holding onto the fire truck so he doesn't tumble to the ground. 

“I think this game has gone long enough. I won fair and square. You lost Little Bird.” Slade sneers, 

“Oh I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” Dick smirks just as a shit-ton of water, waterfalls on top of the mercenary, sending him crashing to the floor. Dick laughs down at Slade, as he grabs onto the extendable ladder from the jet. 

“HOW THE HELL?!” Slade barely gets out as the water continues cascading down on him. The pressure from the water kept the mercenary from following him to the plane. Dick just cackles, allowing the automated ladder to pull him up to the plane above. Slade was about to get what’s coming for him…

Chapter Text

Sneaking the jet out was surprisingly easy especially because nobody was in the cave. Dick was pretty sure that Alfred probably knew he took it. Mostly because Alfred knew everything. Yet a little part of him hoped that the Butler was just as clueless as the others. Though he doubted it. A family full of vigilantes and one of them was BOUND to notice that something was going on. Slade & Dick’s water war had surpassed all boundaries. Anywhere was fair game. Dick had been doused with buckets more times than he could count and Slade had been hit with automatic sprinkler systems going at full force in places where there wasn't even grass. There was no safe area. And now even more so as Dick bombed down water blast after water blast on Slade as the mercenary tried to escape him in the fire truck. 

“Now look who’s running…” Dick grins the way he knows makes Bruce’s skin crawl. He zooms in on the truck and lets another ton of water fall out. The truck swerves crashing into a hopefully empty building. Based on the screams it probably wasn’t empty. 

Dick zooms in to watch as Slade scrambles out of the truck, steals somebody's car and starts driving. Dick starts shooting him down with the plane’s automated sniper system. Why did Bruce even build this in? Except instead of bullets he shoots with water. Slade swerves like a madman as Dick rains down on him. Every now and then Dick was also dropping a ton of water down in a blast. With Dick’s attention focused on hitting his ex-enemy he barely registers the other places and people the water crashes down onto.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!” Jason yells through the comms,

“IT'S A BOMB! WATER BOMBS!” Steph yells back. As an explosion tears through the comms. 

“WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?” Bruce demands, just as water takes him out from above. 

“WE FOUND THE FIRE TRUCK! THE PERSON CRASHED IT INTO A HOTEL!” Cass yells, before another huge sloshing sound cuts her voice off. 

“ORACLE WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?” Tim demands, he and Jason were on the same rooftop as earlier. Scans of the water and the pellets had found no special substance besides a minor slippery agent. There was nothing toxic in it. It was just water. It was when they were relaying this news to the others that the plane flew overhead, hitting them both with jets of water. It was refreshing as much as it hurt. 

“IT’S A PLANE!” 

“NO SHIT IT’S A PLANE!” Jason snaps, 

“IT’S TRYING TO GUN DOWN A CAR!” Babs yells, 

“WHAT CAR?” Bruce demands, 

“A FORD 150.” Babs responds, 

“IS IT A 2018 MODEL?” Damien asks, 

“Yeah. It is. License plate 27AU3672947.” Babs reads off, Damien curses and they hear wind whistle through the comm. 

“They’re on my street. Everybody get-” Damien’s voice cuts out into a shriek. 

“ROBIN!” A chorus of voices shout. 

“ROBIN COME IN!” Bruce barks, there was a beat. 

“Motherfucker blasted through my line. I’m fine.” Damien finally says, “But you guys need to get here. Stat.” 

The plane was easy to follow. Soon all of them were by flying through the air with Damien. 

“GUYS LOOK! SOMEONE’S COMING OUT OF THE VAN!” Steph yells, they watch as somebody leaps out of the moving van. 

“DID ANYBODY SEE WHO IT!” Damien gets cut off as tons of water dump down onto them, all of their lines snap and they all crash into Gotham’s main fountain. 

“WHERE THE HELL IS IT?” Cass yells, 

“THERE! THE PLANE!” Tim points up in the sky where the black jet was spinning wildly out of control. 

“CALL SUPERMAN THAT THINGS GONNA CRASH!” Damien yells, 

“But-”

“FUCK YOUR EGO B! JUST CALL HIM!” Jason shouts, 

Just as Bruce tells Clark the location of the plane 2 people tumble out of it. 

“SHIT! THOSE ARE THE PERPS WE GOTTA!” Before Steph can finish the sentence the entire fountain in front of them explodes, a torrent of water catching both people, lessening the impact of the fall. 

As the geyser of water stops, and the laughter hits their ears they all stare. In front of them were 2 people. Realization slams into all of them harder than those water jets. One was orange and black. The other was black and blue 

“Uh Bruce… this is your plane…” Clark’s voice is a little strained, clearly holding back laughter. Bruce could not relate. 

When Dick saw Slade climbing out of his seat in the car he already knew what was going to happen. So he was already prepared when the side of the plane got ripped apart and the air pressure went down. He was already braced when Slade yanked him out of the seat and they went into a free fall. What he wasn’t expecting was for Slade to stop him when he was going to grab his grapple. 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” Dick yells through the wind as they plummet down. Panic starting to take hold. This is Slade. He’s been trying to either turn me or kill me since I was fucking Robin…  

“STOP SQUIRMING!” Slade snaps, restricting his movement even more. 

“YOU DIPSHIT LET GO! I NEED MY GRAPPLE!” Dick screams fighting against the mercenary’s bruising grip. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. The ground was getting closer. Slade sure as hell wouldn’t die on impact. But Dick would. Flying. Jumping. Falling. Dying. Blood. Flying. Jumping. Falling. Dying. Blood. Flying. Jumping. Falling. Falling. Dying. Dying.  

“IF YOU DON’T STOP MOVING IT WON’T HIT US DUMBASS! STOP MOVING!” Slade barks, trying to hold Dick still as he continues to fight Slade’s grip. 

“HIT US?!” Dick shouts, “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN HIT US?” The ground was meters away. Dick shuts his eyes. He really wasn’t looking forward to his family finding his bloodied corpse. I should of said I love you. I should of sent them a message. Fuck. Suddenly a blast of something cool hits both of them just as Dick is sure they’re gonna go splat on the concrete. It takes him a minute to realize it's water. Dick cracks his eyes open, the panic getting drowned out as he realizes what Slade did. He blew up the fountain to cushion the fall… They both land on the ground, Slade acting as extra padding to keep Dick from getting his bones crushed. As the geyser of water slows down, Slade lets go of him and they both slump down on the concrete exhausted. 

“You’re an asshole.” Dick grumbles, 

“I told you to stop moving dumbass.” Slade responds, 

“And since when do I listen to you? I barely listen to Batman!” Dick retorts, there was a beat of silence as they both glared at each other. Slade was completely soaked in water, white hair flattened and making him look like a polar bear. The leather eye patch would take ages to dry and any gunpowder he had would be completely useless now. His armor was scattered across the city and it would probably take at least an hour to find all of it. Dick had no clue what he looked like but he knew that at some point in time his escrima sticks had gone missing and that the suit had soaked up so much water he would need to wear a different one tomorrow. 

“You look like an eel.” Slade says, Dick starts laughing. 

“And.. you..” Dick curls into a ball as the ridiculousness of their spat replays in his head. Slade, despite his best attempts, cracks a smile at the protector of Bludhaven. “We are such… dumb..asses.” He manages to get out. Slade fights the chuckles as long as he can, but no one can beat the infectiousness of Dick’s laughter. Soon they’re both wheezing as the sheer absurdity of everything they’ve been doing sinks in. So of course the moment had to be ruined by Batman.

Chapter Text

“Nightwing. What. The. Fuck.” The pure rage in Bruce’s voice makes dread waterfall into Dick’s stomach. Fuuuuuucccckkkkk. Dick slowly sits up and turns to find Batman looming over him. Double Fuck. 

“Heeeeyyy B….” Dick chuckles nervously. He shouldn’t have laughed. Now Bruce looks even madder. 

“You destroyed the city.” 

“Hold on, I didn't!”

“You’ve been blowing up and DESTROYING water reserves and fire hydrants all fucking night!” Bruce interrupts him scathingly. 

“Just listen I”

“Gotham isn’t your fucking playground Nightwing.” Bruce snarls, Dick flinches back just as his own anger flares up. 

“I don’t think it's a playground!” 

“YOU BOMBED THE CITY WITH TANKS OF WATER!” Bruce was shouting, Dick feels the guilt eat away at his anger. “YOU TOOK THE JET AND LITERALLY SHOT EVERYTHING IN YOUR VICINITY! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH PROPERTY YOU DEMOLISHED!” 

“It was an accident…” Dick cuts in meekly. 

“ACCIDENT! YOU CALL ALL OF THAT AN ACCIDENT?! NOT TO MENTION ALL THE STOLEN PROPERTY!” 

“I was just borrowing it! I would of put it back!” Dick insists, 

“Sure you would have. The next time you want to play tag Nightwing. Do it in your own damn city.” Bruce snarls and Dick feels the air rush out of his lungs at the jab. Right… because Gotham isn't my city anymore… Dick fights back the tears. If he’s gonna grapple back to Bludhaven then he won't be able to do it with blurry vision. 

“What the hell B that was not!” 

“Seriously Batman?!”

“Father that was!” 

“You're a fucking asshole!” 

“All of you stay out of this. I’m not talking to you.” Bruce interrupts the outrage, glaring the other kids into submission. “This is between Nightwing and I.”

“B I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…” Dick says quietly. The embarrassment of all of his siblings witnessing him getting chewed out made Dick wish he had fallen with his parents. 

“You were being irresponsible. A CHILD would know better than to do what you did.” Bruce continues, ignoring the apology as if Dick never said anything. Dick deflated even more. Bruce wasn’t in the mood to listen. Great. “I thought we were past this childishness, Nightwing.” 

Dick looks at the ground feeling like he was Robin all over again. Somehow even years down the line, Bruce could still make him feel like gutter trash despite his accomplishments. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. It’s Bruce. He always does this. Don’t cry. I didn’t mean it. Don’t cry. Why does he only ever yell at me? Don’t cry.  

“And what about me? If he’s childish then I’m the equivalent of a toddler am I not?” Slade drawls, blocking Dick’s view of Bruce as he steps in between the 1st Robin and his mentor. 

“Deathstroke.” Bruce spits out, his voice sounds like something from the depths of hell. “Whatever you’ve done to him I swear to fucking god I’ll!” Woah woah woah woah. Done to me? What the hell? 

“He didn’t do anything to me!” Dick quickly gets up hopping between the mercenary and the Dark Knight. “It was just a game!” Bruce’s face darkens further and Dick suddenly realizes what he just said. “Wait Batman that’s not what I meant.. I swear it was…”

“GAME?! YOU CALLED THAT SHIT A GAME?! YOU AND DEATHSTROKE? A GAME? SERIOUSLY? HOW FUCKING STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM?!” Bruce advances on Dick. Dick backpedals desperately trying to speak and defend himself but Bruce doesn’t give him a chance. “YOUR LITTLE GAME NEARLY SENT THE CITY INTO A FULL-FLEDGED FLOOD! AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO TRY TO DEFEND YOUR!” Bruce gets cut off as a barrage of water balloons slam into him, sending him sprawling. Dick feels Slade’s front against his back as the mercenary uses Dick' s right shoulder to keep his rocket launcher steady. Dick eyes the thing warily.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” Slade was smirking behind him, Dick knew he was. The mercenary was also trying really hard to fight back a laugh if the tremors in his body had anything to say about it. “And for the record I was the one who started this. Nightwing was just trying to catch me.” 

“He was… trying to catch you…?” Tim says slowly. 

“He was. Now apologize to him.” Slade glares at Bruce. Or at least Dick thinks he does because his dad seems to lose some of his earlier steam. Slade lifts the rocket launcher from Dick’s shoulder and walks past him. 

“It's not that big of a deal Slade.. he doesn’t have to..” Slade ignores him and walks to Bruce who was now shocked, livid and soaked. 

“Apologize Wayne.” Slade growls, rocket launcher pointed at the prone Batman. Nobody else moves. 

“I..  I’m sorry.” Bruce grumbles, Slade shoots him in the face. Dick winces in sympathy. Shit that’s gotta hurt…. “Hey! I apologized!” Bruce looks miffed. 

“For what? What did you apologize for?” Slade deadpans,

“Slade, it's fine. Just drop it.” Dick hisses from behind him.  Bruce’s comments were low blows but Dick didn't really think he deserved water balloons in the face from a rocket launcher for that. 

“I didn't hear a reason. So let’s restart from the beginning. Apologize.” Slade acts as if Dick never spoke. Bruce looks between the 2 of them. Dick looked guilty. Slade definitely wanted to hit him with another water balloon. 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you..” Bruce says, Slade hits him. “And for misjudging. And OW DAMN IT STOP THAT!” Bruce snaps, Slade just grins. 

“Finish the apology then.” 

“I’m sorry for yelling and blaming you, Nightwing.” Bruce says, sounding genuine. They all wait and eye the rocket launcher. Slade slings it over his shoulder away from Bruce, seemingly satisfied with the apology. 

“Okay. Now scram.” Slade says flippantly. Bruce get's up and glares at him. “Go on. Shoo Batman.” Slade continues when Bruce shows no indication of leaving. Finally Batman pulls his grapple out and shoots it. As he goes airborne, faster than any of them could stop him, Slade nails him in the ass with a water balloon which makes him misfire his next shot and crash down onto a rooftop. Slade looks to the other Batlings who were all watching Batman stand up and flip Deathstroke off. 

“Go on Batlings. You need an invitation to leave?” Slade drawls, rapid firing water balloons at all of them. They all yelp and jump as they scramble to get away. 

There was silence. Until Slade shoots him in the ass. Dick shrieks as Slade laughs at him. 

“Seriously? You shot me in the butt?” Dick glares at him without much heat 

“It's a pretty big target.” Slade drawls, 

“You're a perv.”

“I shot Batman in the ass too.” 

“Yeah you did.” Dick snickers, 

“Nothing more satisfying than watching the Bat run with his tail tucked between his legs am I right?” Slade grins rakishly. 

“I mean… it does have a certain satisfaction to it.” Dick snickers, he wasn’t looking forward to what would happen when he got back to the cave. He was seriously considering not going to the manor at all and instead heading back to Bludhaven like he originally planned to. 

“The sun’s gonna rise soon Little Bird.” Slade says nonchalantly. 

“I didn’t realize it was that late.. Early? Early I guess…” Dick trails off, Slade wasn’t going to ask. But Dick understood the silent offer. He had more than enough experience with Bruce to know what Slade was asking. So when Slade disappears Dick already knows where to go, he already knows that there’ll be a spare bed and a decent-ish breakfast at a nearby diner the next day. Maybe summer in Gotham isn’t that bad….