Chapter Text
The couple of days after Evangeline helped mend Wolffe’s broken leg passed with grueling labor. She found herself forgetting all about their reunion throughout the many patients she met, the report she wrote up for her professors, and the classes she had to keep up with at the end of the day. She was leaving the academy in the middle of the night just a few hours before her next appointment with Wolffe to finish up his leg’s healing process. Her steps were slow and sluggish as she exited the glass doors and swept her eyes across the ongoing traffic, wondering how quickly she could hail a public airspeeder to return home.
She barely registered getting into the backseat of a small cab and telling the driver her address. Her mind was still dull and quiet until she showered in cold water, freezing her skin but also waking her right up the way she hoped. This was a temporary solution to her larger problem, but it gave her the energy she needed to wash up and make some caf. It tasted bitter but stimulated her mind so perfectly that she forgot all about her lack of sleep. Instead of getting into bed like she wanted, she remained at her desk for the rest of the night while drafting her most recent assignment for the professor she hoped to score a high mark from.
Dawn arrived when she was just reaching a low in her caffeinated vigor, prompting her to make another cup of caf before getting ready for the day. She washed and dressed herself like usual, but she forgot to apply her usual routine of makeup that just touched up any blemishes or red spots across her skin and shined her lips. Leaving the apartment bare-faced and yawning, she arrived at work a few minutes later than expected. Bad traffic, she supposed.
“Good morning,” she said to the two Coruscant Guard troopers outside the facility’s entrance.
“Morning,” they replied in unison, remaining stiff and firm as she pushed through the doors and trudged to the locker room where she would begin the day.
Dr. Bell intercepted her as she unloaded her belongings, telling her which room she was expected to facilitate Wolffe’s session today. She nodded and walked over there slowly, prompting the doctor to ask, “Late night?”
“Yeah,” she admitted, rubbing her eyes, “I haven’t had one like that in a while.”
“You’ll get used to it,” He patted her shoulder while passing by, “Feel free to make some caf in my office.”
“Thank you.”
Getting to the room felt like a blur, indicating to Evangeline that she was really getting tired. Too tired, especially if she was only just starting the day. But, to her dismay, she fell asleep as soon as she sat down in the chair by the speed-healing chamber. Her face dropped down to the table directly in front of her seat, lulling her into an immediate period of slumber that was more frightening than restful. A restless dream overtook her mind like a plague. No matter how hard she tried to wake up, she couldn’t. She just remained silent while the version of her in her head began screaming.
“Evangeline, baby,” Her father slurred from his bedroom, “Where’s your mother?”
Evangeline paused outside the door, wondering how he knew her footsteps even while drunk to the point of near death.
“I don’t know. She went out.”
Suddenly, the door was bursting open and her father was stepping into the hallway. His eyes were manic and dilated as he trudged past her, looking for another beer in the kitchen. Panic seized her as he opened the fridge, muttering something to himself under the clatter of more bottles. Without thinking, young Evangeline was grabbing her father’s wrist. Her small hands were nothing compared to his burly arms, doing little to prevent him from drinking any more today. Still, she tried.
“Please, no more,” she begged, “You’ll get sick.”
“Evangeline, baby,” he murmured, “Just one more.”
“No, I don’t think—“
She flinched when he raised his hand, causing him to lose his grip on the bottles he was holding. They collided into the floor and shattered all over the place, cutting into her bare feet with abrupt stabs that brought tears to her eyes. Her father was barely hurt, as he never took off the thick work boots. Even though he was unemployed.
“Fuck! Look what you did!” He snarled, slapping her across the face, “Clean this shit up.”
Evangeline willed herself to lift her head and look up, knowing her siblings were watching from a distance that wasn’t far enough to save them from a similar fate. She saw them peering at the scene through the crack of their bedroom door with wild fear in their young eyes. Evangeline was young, but they were even younger.
“Okay. Sorry,” she whispered, wincing as the glass crunched against her feet, “I’m sorry.”
She cried out in pain when her father fisted her hair and forced her to her knees, causing more glass to dig into her delicate skin. Suddenly, the dream became more distorted and fantastical. She wasn’t inside her house anymore. No, she was running through a cloudy void where she couldn’t see a thing beyond her line of vision. Couldn’t hear. Could only feel the crunch of glass below her feet as she ran. For some reason, she couldn’t stop. Her body was moving on its own accord while her head often whipped behind to see if anyone was following her.
In the distance, she could see her father stalking toward her. No matter how fast she tried to run, blinking away tears from the pain of her feet slipping and sliding across the glass, he seemed to grow closer and closer. She focused her gaze up ahead and saw her mother, who was well ahead of both of them. Trying to cry out and ask her to wait didn’t work, for Evangeline’s voice was gone.
“You can run, but you can’t hide.”
Evangeline opened her eyes with a gasp, blinking as her vision adjusted to the bright lights of the room. She felt some tears roll down her cheeks as she regained her composure, suddenly realizing she was at work. She had an appointment. With Wolffe. Was she late? Did she miss it? Did he leave? How long was she asleep? What—
“Are you crying?” An aggressive voice asked, startling her as she whipped her head toward the sound.
Her stomach dropped when she saw Wolffe sitting on the bed of the chamber, staring right at her. Or maybe, right through her. She shook her head furiously and wiped her face, standing up with more determination than she felt. Now wasn’t the time to dwell in the past. It was showtime. She had a job to do, and she needed to deliver on that promise for the trooper who came here for his treatment. How long he waited for her to wake up, she didn’t know until she checked the time. Her eyes widened in disbelief when she realized more than an hour had passed, causing her to ask, “Were you here this whole time?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he decided, “Can we get started now?”
She frowned as she washed her hands in the sink at the end of the room, truly so embarrassed her morning turned out like this. For once, she wasn’t looking at him or his freakishly large muscles. No, she was avoiding his judgmental gaze as she snapped a new pair of gloves on and walked toward the chamber’s monitor to begin the process.
“Goggles,” he said while pointing to her face, “You forgot that.”
“Oh.” She touched the skin near her eyes and realized he was right, “Right, sorry. I promise I know what I’m doing, I just—“
“It’s fine.”
“Are you sure? Because I probably wasted a lot of your time and—“
“I said it’s fine,” he growled, “Are we gonna start this or what? I’m busy today.”
“Yes,” she said quickly, “Yes, just one second.”
What is he doing today? She wondered as she pulled a pair of goggles over her head, not placing them over her eyes so she could clearly see the buttons while starting up the machine. In just a few seconds, the chamber was swallowing Wolffe whole. Even though she knew he could still hear her, not really giving her any personal space in this moment, she couldn’t help but begin a string of nervous humming. Dr. Bell wasn’t in here to tell her otherwise, so she carried on and enjoyed the way this eased her aching heart from the aftermath of her dream just before. All the pressure in her mind and soul lifted the more she quietly harmonized with the whir of the speed-healing machine. Maybe Wolffe wanted to tell her to stop—she didn’t know—but he didn’t say anything. He was silent. She was grateful for that.
She paused her humming when his heart rate increased just a teeny-tiny bit, causing her to ask, “Are you okay in there?”
“Uh-huh. Fine.”
“Okay. Let me know if you feel any discomfort or pain. Don’t be shy—there’s no judgment here.”
“I’m not shy,” he grumbled, “I’m fine.”
She laughed softly at his tone before saying, “If you say so.”
“What’s so funny this time?” He sighed, unsure why he was still talking to her.
“I don’t know,” she admitted, “I just laughed because I felt like it.”
“You’ve barely changed,” he muttered, mainly to himself.
She heard this, furrowing her eyebrows a bit at this observation.
“What do you mean?” She asked carefully, knowing this was dangerous but also interesting territory to gauge any potential feelings for her.
“You’ve been working here for a few years now,” he began, not saying anything until she replied, “Yes, about two.”
“Yeah. I can probably count the amount of times I’ve been here on one hand, but you’ve always been here. I’m sure you’ve seen some nasty shit,” he continued, mentally recalling how she was sleeping before waking up crying earlier today.
“I’m not really following.”
“I just don’t understand what there is to be so joyful about.”
“Oh. A lot of things,” she shrugged, “I’ve seen bad cases, but I’ve also watched mothers deliver their babies…or the elderly finish their cancer treatments successfully despite all odds…oh, there was also this one time when—“
She stopped talking, realizing she might sound insensitive to the “nasty shit” he definitely experienced as a soldier. Yes, she had her fair share of terrible situations, especially whenever she failed to save a trooper or a regular Coruscant citizen from their demise. But there was more to this medical facility than death and loss. There was also life and victory in the overcoming of pain. That was what she felt she was here for—not just the difficult responsibilities she was fully capable of, but also the privilege of watching people bloom into their best selves. Recovery was the key to opportunity.
On the other hand, Wolffe’s job was to fight and destroy. To plow through dangerous territory with blasters raised and armor scratched. Speaking about life when all he knew was death…maybe she shouldn’t have gone there. Of course, he believed there was nothing to laugh about. What could possibly occur around him to stimulate such an expression of joy? Sure, he probably had moments with his brothers that allowed him to experience simplicity—like 79’s—but she wasn’t even sure if there was anything else. Did troopers have hobbies? Dreams? Plans? She didn’t know any well enough to answer these questions for herself. She didn’t want to know any well enough but the one in this room, though.
The silence that had passed between them was interrupted when Wolffe asked, “How much longer do I need to stay in here?”
She blinked and checked the monitor’s progress, noticing his time was almost up.
“Less than five minutes. Thanks for reminding me.”
“Uh-huh.”
These five minutes passed more quickly than she would have liked. She filled this time with more humming, keeping her volume as low as possible while still feeling content about this distracted state. As she powered down the chamber, she watched Wolffe emerge with his eyes closed like he was sleeping. He opened them quickly, adjusting to the light in a brief squint that creased some lines into his face. Catching herself staring like she always did, Evangeline took off her goggles and gloves in an effort to appear occupied.
“What are you doing later today?” She asked, trying to sound casual in this conversation starter.
He stretched his neck out with a low groan before replying, “Training.”
“Already?” She turned around to look at him as he redressed himself in his armor, surprised he wasn’t taking a day of rest with his short time off from his duty.
“Yeah. I’m behind,” he told her, “Honestly, don’t ever tell me to break my leg again. I think I took that too seriously.”
His face was neutral as he said this, indicating to her that he wasn’t joking. As usual, he was being serious. Despite this, Evangeline found herself laughing yet again. His lack of humor was the exact thing that made him so funny to her. She was never really impressed with those who went out of their way to make jokes. Sarcasm, blunt honesty, and irony were much more entertaining to her. There was no particular reason why. This was just her truth. Her preference. Her type.
“I learned my lesson,” she reassured him warmly, “But…if you’re ever in a similar situation, I’ll be here.”
She missed the subtle twitch of his lips that wouldn’t have constituted as a smile even if she caught it. Instead, she quickly added, “Because it’s my job. I’m being paid to be here—not that I’m doing this for the money. My salary is sort of a bonus perk for all of this so don’t get me wrong, I like being here.”
Inhaling a deep breath, she realized, “You’re busy today. I’ll have your report out in a minute—you can head to the waiting area while I wrap things up in here.”
“Do I make you nervous, Sterling?” Wolffe suddenly asked, stepping closer so that he towered over her more intensely.
He hadn’t put his helmet on despite wearing the rest of his armor, and Evangeline suspected this was intentional. She stepped back, her hands finding a table behind her as she leaned as far away from him as possible. His expression was still apathetic, but she could see a strange twinkle in his eyes that made her believe he was having fun with this. With her.
“No,” she lied, “I’m not nervous.”
He raised his eyebrows. “No?”
“You wouldn’t hurt me.” This wasn’t a lie. She truly, truly believed this with all of her heart.
“No, I wouldn’t,” he agreed before clarifying, “I wasn’t talking about that kind of nervous.”
Her mouth dried as the butterflies in her stomach began whirling around like a maelstrom. She nearly clutched at her abdomen from the squeezing pain, unable to breathe as steadily as she wanted. He noticed this and stepped back, giving her space while holding her wide eyes in a stare that didn’t gentle from the new distance between them. Every bone in his body was telling him not to do this, especially since it was obvious that she had a stupid crush on him while he didn’t feel anything for her. To take advantage of her feelings in this game of power was definitely shitty. He knew this. He didn’t care. That was one of the reasons why he wanted her to stay away from him and stop holding onto this naive hope that he might look at her the same way she was now looking at him.
Move on, Sterling. It’s now or never with girls like you.
He raised his eyebrows when she blurted out, “I think you’re good-looking. And your personality isn’t bad. I don’t mind that you’re a little mean sometimes. I find you interesting, and I like talking to you. I’d like to get to know you more…if…Yeah.”
Wolffe was at a loss for words, recounting this conversation in his mind to figure out what led to this confession. For fucks sake, they barely knew each other. Most of his treatment occurred on Kamino or aboard Republic cruisers. With only the rare occasions where he was here, she decided all of that? She really was weird. He figured that this was just a physical attraction, which could easily be quenched if she pursued someone else—anyone, really. He was a clone, after all. But to bring in his personality? How could she say she liked it? Honestly, the more she got to know him, the less she would like. She might have learned a shit ton about being a doctor, but she knew nothing about the way these kinds of things worked.
“I’m flattered,” he deadpanned, “But I’m not interested. You should get that through your head before it’s too late.”
His words knocked the wind out of her as her lungs seemed to constrict and deflate. She tried to keep her expression level, not really feeling devastated about this. This was more…disappointing. But, it made sense with the way he acted toward her—he wasn’t rude, per se, but he was exactly what he just said. Not interested. Maybe he already had a girlfriend, and he was just letting her down easily. That would be nice of him. She would hate to interfere with an already-established relationship.
“Okay,” she squeaked, “Thank you for your honesty.”
“No problem. Thank you for yours.”
One minute he was here, and then the next…he was gone. Evangeline paused for a moment before grabbing her hair, cursing under her breath as she berated herself for what just happened. What was she thinking? Confessing her feelings to him like that? She definitely came on too strong.
It’s okay. We’ll just forget this ever happened, she told herself, This is good. It’s closure. It was just a silly crush. Time to move on now that we know it wasn’t going to go anywhere.
Satisfied with this plan, she cleaned the speed-healing chamber before downloading a full report of Wolffe’s injury now that it was fully healed. Exiting the room, she found him in the waiting area like she instructed and showed him her datapad so calm, cool, and collected that both of them were a little surprised. It was as if nothing happened back there with her abrupt declaration of interest. Wolffe decided that was best, though, and he was glad she was finally acting normal for once. They bid each other goodbye just like any other patient and doctor before the commander left the medical facility to begin a long day of training. His mind was dead centered on all the things he needed to do to get back on track, not even sparing a single thought toward Evangeline.
She was similar, actually. The rest of the day was busy for her, too, definitely helping to get her mind off that embarrassing rejection. When she clocked out of work at the end of her shift, she saw a group of Coruscant Guard troopers conversing just outside the entrance. As she was about to pass by and tell them to have a good night, one of them said, “Sterling! Down for another round at 79’s?”
“Not today, sorry,” she apologized, “I have classes soon.”
“Aw, yeah, that’s right. What about tomorrow?”
“Uh…” She considered it for a moment, knowing she didn’t have any classes tomorrow night, “Okay, sure. But I can’t stay long.”
“Ha, you said that last time. We’ll try to keep you for longer.”
Growing red in the face, she tucked some hair blowing in the wind behind her ear and said, “Maybe. I’ll see you all tomorrow—Have a good night!”
The Coruscant Guard troopers hurried away to catch a public airspeeder with amused expressions, noticing how she was slightly hunched over from the intense wind as she clutched her data pad toward her chest. Again, they didn’t know the reason she agreed to join them tomorrow night at 79’s. This time, it wasn’t about seeing Wolffe. Actually, this time, it was the opposite. It was about seeing anyone but Wolffe after the rejection she was going to take as an opportunity. If she had any chance of moving on from him, she needed to meet new faces and learn that he wasn’t the only man to ever exist. The only person. Really, it was time to branch out. Having a crush was fun but also very restrictive. The whole experience tunnel-visioned her into something that didn’t even succeed.
Even though she was trying to open her mind up again, though, Evangeline couldn’t help but remember how Wolffe so harshly said, “I’m not interested” as if he didn’t even take some time to think about it. The response was pre-constructed, indicating to her that he really didn’t like her. Not even a little bit. Was it her face? Her personality? Her job? What was it that he didn’t like? What did he like?
No, stop. Don’t think about that anymore, Evangeline thought to herself with a shaky resolve blooming in her heart, He’s just not interested. Leave it at that.
“You said WHAT?”
Wolffe rolled his eyes and sighed while sitting up from the mat with beads of sweat trailing down the side of his face.
“I’m not repeating myself,” he told a baffled Boost, “If you weren’t listening, that’s not my problem.”
“No, no, I was listening. That’s the fucking problem,” Boost retorted, folding his arms across his chest.
“So, he rejected her,” Sinker interjected from across the floor, “Big deal.”
“Huge deal. How do you pass that up? Especially when she came to you first.”
“Since you like her so much,” Wolffe said loudly, “You can take advantage of this opportunity.”
“Nah, not my type,” Boost dismissed before insisting, “I’m thinking about you, dumbass.”
“Don’t think about me. Just focus on yourself.”
“Starting with fixing that haircut,” Sinker mumbled under his breath, dodging a jab to the face from Boost.
“Quit joking around. This is serious.”
“She’s not actually interested in me,” Wolffe told his brothers like it was obvious, “She’s just confused. I’ll bet that she doesn’t talk to anyone but the people at the hospital. She’s kind of socially awkward, so I doubt she has any friends. The kind of girl who just latches onto someone because she’s lonely.”
“Harsh, even for you,” Sinker said carefully, “You said you two barely know each other, so how can you be so sure of that?”
“Because it’s obvious. Can we stop talking about her now? I’d like some peace and quiet”
“Alright, but only if you’ll come to 79’s with us tomorrow,” Boost bargained, “Everyone’s gonna be there—we’re all back on Coruscant this week, I guess.”
“Alright,” Wolffe shrugged, “Now shut the fuck up and let me focus.”
“Oooh, okay, Commander. Whatever you say.”
“Fuck you.” Wolffe stalked away to continue his training on the other side of the room, trying to get as far away from this conversation as possible. He didn't think anything of the events that would take place tomorrow, assuming it was just going to be another normal gathering with a lot of his brothers. Looking forward to this, actually, he felt quite content as he went through the rest of the night with grueling discipline. Little did he know, a certain someone had also agreed to be there tomorrow.