Chapter Text
Jin stood in the middle of their shared apartment, the once warm and cozy place now felt suffocating. The walls that had witnessed so much laughter and love now seemed to close in on him, stifling every breath he took. He could hear the rain tapping softly against the window, as if mirroring the storm raging inside him. The photos of them together—capturing moments of pure joy—were now just painful reminders of what they had lost.
JK was leaning against the doorframe, his eyes dark and clouded with emotions he couldn’t articulate. His jaw was clenched, his fists balled up as if trying to restrain himself from saying something he would regret. But the words were already out there, hanging in the air between them like a dagger poised to strike.
"I hate you."
Jin flinched at the words, his heart shattering into pieces he feared would never be put back together. He had always known that love could be intense, passionate, and even consuming. But he never imagined it could turn into something so bitter and destructive.
The silence that followed was deafening. Jin wanted to scream, to cry, to beg JK to take it back. But deep down, he knew it wouldn’t change anything. They had been on this path for months now—small arguments that escalated into full-blown fights, misunderstandings that festered into resentment, love that slowly morphed into something unrecognizable.
JK’s eyes flickered with something—regret, maybe? But it was fleeting, quickly replaced by the same coldness that had become all too familiar lately. “I think you should go,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Jin’s hands trembled as he reached for his suitcase. He had packed it earlier, half-hoping he wouldn’t have to use it. But there it was, the finality of it all staring him in the face. He grabbed the handle, the weight of it grounding him as he took a shaky step towards the door.
“Jin,” JK called out, and for a moment, Jin's heart leaped with hope. But when he turned to look at him, the words that came next only deepened the wound. “It’s better this way. For both of us.”
Jin wanted to ask how they had ended up here. How two people who once couldn’t stand to be apart had now reached a point where they couldn’t bear to be together. But the words got stuck in his throat, suffocated by the tears he was desperately trying to hold back.
Without another word, he walked out of the apartment, out of their life together. The rain hit him as soon as he stepped outside, cold and unforgiving, much like the reality he was now forced to face.
After Jin left, JK collapsed onto the couch, staring blankly at the door he had just walked out of. The apartment felt emptier than ever before, each corner echoing with the memories they had made together. He had told him he hated him, but the truth was that he hated himself more for saying it.
The rain poured down relentlessly, soaking Jin to the bone. He didn’t care, though. The cold drops mingled with the tears streaming down his face. He had nowhere to go, no idea where he belonged anymore, but his feet carried him to the only place he felt he might find some semblance of comfort—his younger brother’s apartment.
When Tae opened the door, his eyes widened in shock. "Hyung, what happened?" he asked, his voice full of worry as he took in Jin's drenched and disheveled appearance. Jin tried to speak, but the words got caught in his throat, replaced by a fresh wave of tears.
"Come inside," Tae said, gently pulling him into the warmth of the apartment. Inside, Jimin, Tae’s husband and JK’s best friend, looked up from the couch where he was sitting. His expression quickly shifted from surprise to concern as he rushed over to Jin.
"You're soaked," Jimin said, guiding Jin towards the bathroom. "Take a hot shower, change into some dry clothes. I’ll make you some soup, okay?"
Jin nodded, still unable to find his voice. The warmth of the shower helped a little, washing away the chill from the rain but not the heaviness in his heart. When he emerged, wrapped in one of Tae’s oversized sweaters, the smell of Jimin’s homemade soup greeted him, reminding him of simpler times when things weren’t so complicated, when love didn’t hurt so much.
They sat him down at the kitchen table, Jimin placing a steaming bowl of soup in front of him while Tae watched him with a mixture of concern and helplessness. "Hyung, what happened?" Tae finally asked, his voice soft but insistent.
Jin took a deep breath, the warmth of the soup rising to his face as he stared into it, trying to find the right words. "I…I couldn’t stay," he began, his voice trembling. "It hurts too much, Tae. Everything between us…it’s broken, and I don’t know how to fix it."
Jimin reached out, placing a comforting hand on Jin’s arm. "Did something happen with JK?" he asked gently, his voice full of the kind of understanding only someone who knew both of them well could offer.
Jin nodded, biting his lip as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "We had a fight, a terrible one. He told me he hated me, and asked me to leave. I…I just couldn’t stay after that."
Tae’s expression darkened with concern, but Jimin squeezed his hand, silently reminding him to stay calm. "Hyung," Jimin said softly, "sometimes people say things they don’t mean when they’re hurt. Do you really think JK hates you?"
Jin shook his head, his voice barely a whisper. "I dont know, but it’s not about whether he meant it or not. It’s about how we got to this point, how everything just fell apart. I thought leaving would make it easier, but all I feel is…emptiness."
They didn’t press him any further, understanding that he needed time to process everything. Instead, they sat with him in quiet solidarity, Tae occasionally rubbing his back while Jimin refilled his soup, offering comfort the only way they could. And though Jin still felt lost, there was a small comfort in knowing he wasn’t alone, even as the world he had known crumbled around him.
That night, Jimin received a call from JK. There was a long silence on the other end of the line, but Jimin, knowing JK well enough, understood what he wanted to ask. "Hyung’s here with us," he told him softly. "We’ve got him."
There was another pause before JK finally replied with a quiet, "Thank you."
Jimin hesitated for a minute, but he couldn’t hold back. "No matter what happened between you two," he began carefully, "you shouldn’t have let him leave like that. Alone in the night, in the rain…you know better, JK."
JK didn’t respond, but the weight of Jimin's words settled heavily on him. The guilt that had been gnawing at him since Jin walked out the door intensified, wrapping around his chest like a vice. He knew Jimin was right—he had let his anger and pain blind him to what really mattered, and now he was paying the price.
When the call ended, JK sat in the silence of his apartment, feeling more alone than ever. He realized that in trying to protect himself, he had only ended up hurting the person he loved the most, and the regret was almost too much to bear.
In the days that followed, JK tried to convince himself that hating Jin would make everything easier. He thought that if he could just focus on the anger, on the bitterness of their breakup, it might numb the pain that was tearing him apart. But it didn’t work. The more he tried to hold onto the hate, the more it slipped through his fingers, leaving behind only an unbearable ache in his chest.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Jin. He saw the way he used to smile at him, the way his eyes would light up whenever he was happy. He remembered how they used to stay up late, talking about everything and nothing, just enjoying each other’s company. Those memories, once a source of comfort, now felt like knives twisting in his heart.
JK threw himself into his work, spending long hours at the studio, trying to drown out his thoughts with music. But even that didn’t bring him the solace it used to. Every song he played, every melody he composed, reminded him of Jin. The lyrics that came to him were filled with the pain of their separation, the regret of words that were said, and the longing for something he could never have again.
One night, as he sat alone in the studio, the reality of it all hit him like a tidal wave. He buried his face in his hands, finally letting the tears he had been holding back fall. He had thought hating Jin would be easier, that it would help him move on. But he realized that hate couldn’t erase the love he still felt for him. It couldn’t fill the void Jin had left in his life.
He missed Jin—everything about him. The way he used to hum softly when he was cooking, the way he would curl up next to him on the couch, the way his hand would fit perfectly in his. He missed the way Jin made him feel whole, like he was exactly where he was supposed to be. Without him, he felt lost, adrift in a sea of emotions he didn’t know how to navigate.
And the worst part was knowing that he had driven him away. He had let his pride, his stubbornness, and his fear of vulnerability push him out of his life. He had thought he was protecting himself, but all he had done was break both of their hearts.
JK’s thoughts were consumed with “what ifs.” What if he had fought harder for them? What if he had swallowed his pride and told him how much he still loved him? What if he had tried to fix things instead of letting them fall apart? But it was too late now. The damage had been done, and all he was left with were the remnants of a love that once was.
The song he recorded that night was his confession—an admission of his pain, his regret, and the love he couldn’t let go of, no matter how much he wanted to. He poured everything he had into the music, letting it be the voice for the emotions he couldn’t put into words. The song was raw, filled with the contradictions of his feelings—the love that lingered despite the hurt, the anger that was nothing more than a mask for his sorrow, and the realization that hating Jin would never make the pain go away.
As he listened to the playback, he felt a hollow sense of release. The song was out there now, a piece of his soul laid bare for the world to hear. But instead of feeling lighter, the weight on his chest only grew heavier. He realized that nothing could make the pain of losing Jin easier. Not hate, not anger, not even music. Because the truth was, he didn’t want to stop loving him, even if it hurt more than anything he had ever experienced.
A few days later, Jimin and Tae were the first to hear the song JK had poured his heart into. The melody was haunting, the lyrics raw with the pain and regret that JK had been carrying since Jin left. The song was a confession, an apology, and a desperate attempt to reach out to Jin in the only way he knew how.
As the final notes faded away, Tae clenched his fists, his jaw tightening. "I don’t want Jin hyung to hear this," he said firmly, his protective instincts kicking in. "It’ll only make things worse. He’s already hurting enough. He needs to move on, not be dragged back into this mess."
Jimin, sitting beside him, placed a calming hand on his arm. "Babe, I understand where you’re coming from. But you know as well as I do that they still love each other. This song…it’s his way of trying to reach hyung. Maybe they just needed some time apart to figure things out."
Tae shook his head, frustration clear in his eyes. "I get that, Jimin. But seeing Jin hyung that night, soaked and heartbroken…I can’t just let him go through more pain because of JK. He let hyung walk out, into the rain, alone. How can I trust him after that?"
Jimin sighed, understanding his concern but feeling the need to explain JK’s side. "Tae, you know JK’s been through a lot. Remember what he went through in the past? He’s always been afraid to let people in because he’s scared of getting hurt again. I’m not excusing what he did, but maybe this time apart was his way of protecting himself, even if it ended up hurting both of them."
Tae looked at his husband, the protective brother in him warring with the understanding that maybe, just maybe, JK’s actions were rooted in fear rather than malice. "I know about his past, Babe," he said, his voice softer now. "I know he’s been through some tough times, losing people he cared about. But that doesn’t mean he can just push Jin hyung away and expect him to wait around."
Jimin nodded. "You’re right, he shouldn’t have. But maybe this song is his way of trying to make things right, to let hyung know how much he means to him. We can’t make that decision for hyung. If he hears it and decides it’s too much, then fine, but if it gives him a reason to try again…maybe that’s worth something."
Tae sighed, still torn. "I just want hyung to be happy, Jimin. He deserves that."
Jimin smiled gently. "And maybe, deep down, JK wants the same thing for Jin hyung. He just needs to figure out how to make that happen without letting his fears get in the way."
As they sat in the silence that followed, both of them knew that whatever happened next was up to Jin. Whether he would listen to the song and what he would do if he did—it was his decision to make. But for now, all they could do was support him, hoping that somehow, things would work out the way they were meant to.
Jin sat alone in his room, the silence pressing down on him like a heavy blanket. He stared at the phone in his hand, debating whether he should press play. Tae and Jimin had told him about the song, warned him that it might reopen wounds he was trying so hard to heal. But curiosity—or maybe something deeper—won out in the end. With trembling fingers, he tapped the screen, letting JK’s voice fill the room.
As the song played, each note seemed to tug at his heart, unraveling the tight knot of emotions he had been trying to keep at bay. But it was the final verse that undid him completely, the raw pain in his voice slicing through his defenses.
"It's not the truth,
It's not the cure,
But hatin' you's the only way it doesn't hurt"
His breath caught in his throat, tears welling up in his eyes as he listened to the confession in his lyrics. He could feel his regret, his longing, and the depth of his love woven into every word. It was a side of JK that he rarely showed, the vulnerable part of him that was always so afraid of getting hurt.
Jin knew that fear all too well. He had seen it in his eyes during their fights, felt it in the way he would pull back whenever things got too intense. And in those moments, he had tried to be strong for both of them, tried to reassure him that they could get through anything together. But somewhere along the way, he had failed.
He closed his eyes, the tears now flowing freely down his cheeks. Part of him blamed himself for what had happened. Maybe if he had been more patient, more understanding, JK wouldn’t have felt the need to push him away. Maybe if he had been better at showing him that he was safe with him, he wouldn’t have been so afraid of getting hurt.
But another part of him—one that he didn’t want to acknowledge—wondered if he was the problem. Maybe he was the reason JK was in so much pain. If he hadn’t been in JK's life, maybe he wouldn’t be so scared, so haunted by the fear of losing everything. Maybe if he stayed away, JK could finally find peace.
Jin sat in the stillness that followed the end of the song, his mind swirling with doubt and guilt. He wasn’t sure if he could face JK again, wasn’t sure if he could bear the thought of hurting him even more. But at the same time, the idea of letting him go forever—of never seeing him again—was unbearable.
He was caught between two fears: the fear of hurting JK and the fear of losing him. And for the first time, he wasn’t sure which one was worse. All he knew was that he loved him, despite everything, and that love was what made this decision so impossibly difficult.
Jin wiped his tears away, his heart heavy with the weight of his thoughts. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know if he could ever make things right.
As the night stretched on, Jin found himself staring out the window, the city lights blurred by his tears. The question remained: Could he bring himself to talk to him, to try again, knowing that they might hurt each other even more? Or was letting him go truly the best way to protect them both? The answer, like everything else, was uncertain. And for now, that uncertainty was the only thing Jin had.
The dim light of Yoongi’s studio cast long shadows on the walls, the space filled with the soft hum of equipment and the occasional click of a mouse. JK sat in the corner, slouched in a chair, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. The studio, usually a place of comfort and creativity, felt suffocating tonight.
Yoongi entered the room, a cup of coffee in one hand and a thoughtful expression on his face. He set the cup down on the table near JK, taking a seat beside him. For a moment, neither of them spoke, the silence between them familiar yet charged with unspoken words.
“I heard the song,” Yoongi finally said, his voice low and steady. “It’s hauntingly beautiful, JK. But…it’s also heavy. There’s so much pain in it.”
JK didn’t respond immediately. He just stared at the floor, his mind replaying the lyrics over and over again, each word a reminder of what he had lost. “I poured everything into that song, hyung,” he said quietly. “It’s all I have left to give.”
Yoongi nodded, understanding the weight behind those words. “So, how are you holding up? What’s your plan now?”
JK sighed, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. “I don’t know, Yoongi hyung. I just… I thought if I let Jin go, it would hurt less. But it doesn’t. It’s worse.”
Yoongi leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “You know, JK, I’ve been thinking about why you’re so afraid of getting hurt. It’s not just about Jin hyung, is it? It’s about everything you’ve been through—the people you’ve lost, the pain you’ve carried for so long.”
JK’s jaw tightened. Yoongi’s words cut through the wall he’d built around himself, exposing the raw nerves underneath. “Yeah,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve lost so many people, hyung. Every time I get close to someone, it feels like they slip away. And I couldn’t handle it if I lost Seokjin too.”
Yoongi studied him for a moment before speaking. “You know, JK, arguments and getting hurt—that’s part of being in a relationship. It’s unavoidable. But you have to decide what matters more to you: protecting yourself from pain or being with the person you love, even if it means getting hurt sometimes.”
JK looked up, meeting Yoongi’s eyes for the first time. “But what if it all falls apart? What if I can’t fix it?”
Yoongi gave him a small, understanding smile. “That’s the risk you take, JK. But that’s also what makes it worth it. Relationships aren’t about avoiding pain; they’re about choosing to stay even when it gets hard. Choosing to fix things instead of walking away. You can’t keep running every time things get tough.”
JK took in Yoongi’s words, the truth of them sinking deep into his heart. He had spent so long trying to avoid pain, to shield himself from the hurt he knew all too well, that he had forgotten what it meant to truly love someone—to be there through the good and the bad, to fight for what mattered.
Yoongi reached over, placing a hand on JK’s shoulder. “If you really want Jin hyung back, you’re going to have to face that fear head-on. You have to decide if he’s worth the risk, if he’s worth the pain. And I think you already know the answer to that.”
JK nodded slowly, the weight of his fear lifting just a little. “He is,” he whispered, the conviction in his voice growing stronger. “He’s worth everything.”
Yoongi squeezed his shoulder before letting go. “Then go to him, JK. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, because it’ll never come. Just…go to hyung and tell him how you feel. And this time, don’t let your fear get in the way.”
As JK left the studio that night, Yoongi watched him go, a silent prayer on his lips. He hoped that his words had reached the younger man, that JK would find the courage to fight for what he wanted. Because in the end, love wasn’t about never getting hurt—it was about choosing to love despite the risk, knowing that some things were worth fighting for.