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Mario always felt like a third wheel around SMG3 and SMG4 lately.
Was he a bit jealous? Maybe. After all, he was SMG4’s friend first! And, if Mario was being honest.. SMG4 was a bit more than a friend to him. Mario always felt funny around 4, and it wasn’t just due to the Guardian Pod’s influence.
Mario LOVED SMG4.
He remembers the good old days of mentoring 4 in the ways of the Kingdom, goofing around with him and his friends, and teaching him how to eat spaghetti. He practically raised the guy, and would probably be considered a parental figure if Mario wasn’t more childish than an actual child. Besides, he didn’t think of 4 as a son.
He felt the same way about SMG4 that SMG3 did.
He couldn’t SAY that, of course. He didn’t want to ruin their relationship. Mario had been ruminating about this ever since the Meme Guardians started dating, occasionally trying to sneak and watch their dates, sometimes even imagining he was in SMG3’s place. It was wrong, he knew, but he couldn’t help it.
The only one who knew about his secret Meggy, who was like a sister to him. Currently, Mario was sitting outside the Showgrounds, eating some spaghetti as the duo watched Saiko and Kaizo do some practice for their band.
“.....You know, Red. You’re gonna have to tell them eventually.”
He jolted a bit as he looked towards the ginger female, before exhaling a bit and shaking his head.
“Nuh uh! Mario can’t-a do that! SMG4 would-a hate-a Mario forever!!” He insists, pouting like a child as he glared at Meggy. “Besides! They’ll-a never find out!”
Meggy gave a soft sigh, sitting next to him. “They will eventually. Four and you have been friends for over a decade. You two know each other the most out of all of us.” She pats his shoulder, giving a sympathetic smile. “Mario, I know how it feels to pine for someone you can’t have…” She trails off, looking away for a moment, before looking back at Mario.
“It’s not exactly the same situation, but.. It still sucks.. Although.. You know. Now that I think about it. You could always just ask SMG4 and SMG3 if they’re into polyamory.”
Mario blinks, tilting his head. “.........Mario doesn’t-a know what that is.”
Before Meggy can explain, however, Bob suddenly arrives, floating over to Mario. “Lol Mario I found out where their next date is. They’re going to some stupid park to probably play on the playground like little babies or something lmao.”
Meggy blinks in confusion. “Bob??? Mario dragged you into this too?”
Bob nods. “He gave me good cash for this shit. Have fun sabotaging their date or whatever you plan to do lololololol.” He then flies off, leaving Meggy confused. “Sabota- WHAT? Mario!” She then looked around, realizing the plumber was gone. She sighs heavily at this. “......Well, this will either go great or horrible.”
SMG3 and SMG4 were walking through a park close to the showgrounds, the Guardians holding hands. The duo’s usb tails were loosely curling together, and they excitedly chattered as they headed on through.
“And so that’s why Bob isn’t allowed at that particular movie theater anymore” SMG3 finishes off, leading SMG4 to start cackling. “Ohhh man, that explains a LOT. Sheesh, Three. You always have the funniest stories.”
Three smirks a bit. “I try. Nice night, huh?” The two look up at the sky, seeing a bright moon and the clouds parted just so for them to see some stars. SMG4 nodded. “Yeah, it’s beautiful… but not as beautiful as you, Three.” Three snorts, looking away to hide his growing blush. “Pffh. You’re so cheesy, scrub.” He says as Four giggles at the reaction.
Unbeknownst to the duo, Mario was skulking through the bushes, holding binoculars to keep tabs on them as he did. “Ooooouuhh….” He muttered quietly, focusing first on the stars and moon, then on the gays. His gaze kept longer on Four, as the Italian found himself growing distracted. Four was wearing his usual outfit for the date, white overalls over a dark blue shirt, and a dark blue hat to match. He hummed in happiness, continuing to walk along as he stared at SMG4…
At least until he heard a stick crack below him.
“Shit.”
“..Hey, Three, what was that?” SMG4 asks, to which SMG3 shrugged. “No idea, but it came from that way.” Three pointed towards the bushes Mario was hiding in, much to the older male’s dismay. Mario began to slink back into the bushes as the duo approached, barely aware that he was closer to stumbling and revealing himself…
Which he did, tripping over a root and falling belly up onto the ground in front of the bushes.
“Mario????”
“...What are you doing out here, dude?” SMG4 asks, tilting his head as he offers a hand to help the other up. Mario was left speechless for a moment, realizing just how cute Four looked in the lighting of the moon. However, he was snapped out of his thoughts by Three accusingly asking “Were you FOLLOWING us?”
Mario quickly stands up, shaking his head in an attempt to lie. “No!! Mario wasn’t-a following you two! Mario didn’t even-a know you two were here! Mario just.. Was.. walking his dog?” SMG4 rose an eyebrow. “You don’t have a dog.”
Mario looks around in mock confusion, then looks back at the duo, eyes crossing. “......Uh… Mario must’ve-a lost it! Silly doggy…” Three crosses his arms, approaching the plumber. “Nuh uh. Bullshit. You were following us. Why?”
Mario hesitates, before stammering over his words, uncharacteristic for the stupid plumber. “...Uh.. Uhh..h uh.h…. M-M-Mario can’t-a say. He doesn’t want to-a hurt anyone…” He admits sheepishly, prompting the boyfriends to exchange glances.
“...You hurt people all the time with your antics. What makes a difference now?” SMG4 asks, head tilting to the side.
“This time is-a different! Mario was just-a following, nothing else!” Before SMG4 can stop him, SMG3 gets even closer to Mario, staring him down with his fierce red eyes. Mario squeaked a bit as Three suddenly did this. He’d honestly find it hot if he weren’t terrified.
“Listen, asshole. I don’t wanna hear your bullshit today. You’re not slick at all. I know you’ve been following us on dates. Cut to the chase. Why. were. You. following us?” Three growled at Mario, before Four pulled him back. “Woah woah woah! Calm down, Three. It’s just Mario. I’m sure he didn’t have any horrible intent, right Mario??”
Mario stared the two down, nervously looking between them, before his crossed eyes suddenly focused, staring right as SMG4.
“...Mario-a did have horrible intent. Mario… Mario’s been watching your-a dates because… Mario-a wishes he could go with you!! Mario… Mario loves SMG4, but he can’t-a have him because of you, SMG3! ….So I have to do the next best thing….”
The Meme Guardians’ eyes widen in surprise, Four’s cheeks going a bright red, and Three’s eyes narrowing. Mario recognized Three’s upset expression, causing his own self to droop. “I-I’m-a sorry, Three. Mario will leave now..”
He began to walk off, leaving Three and Four by themselves. The two seemed to exchange looks, before SMG4 ran off after the plumber. “Hey- Mario, wait a minute.” Mario paused, looking up at Four.
“.....I appreciate you telling me this, dude. It.. makes it easier to say this.” The plumber tilted his head, confused. “....Say what?” SMG4 gave a nervous chuckle, before holding Mario’s hands in his own.
“Mario.. Me and Three were talking, and uh… I.. actually really like you too. Three figured it out before I did, but I couldn’t figure out how to tell you, and I thought he’d want to leave me… but.. It turns out he doesn’t mind, as long as we can share! That, and he likes you a bit too-”
Three suddenly interjects, face red as a tomato. “N-no I don’t! I’m just acting as a middleman for you two. I don’t care about you, Mario. Baka.” He stammers nervously, before crossing his arms. Four rolled his eyes, before looking back at Mario. He noticed the elder male’s eyes growing watery, prompting Four to tilt his head.
“M-Mario, are you oka-”
Suddenly, Mario hugged Four tight, giving the younger one a warm embrace as he held Four in his arms.
“......Mario’s-a so happy to hear that, SMG4.” He says through sniffles, as Four returns the hug. “Aww,, Mario.. I love you, dude.”
“Mario loves-a you too! And-a you, SMG3~” He adds the last bit teasingly, much to the youngest’s dismay.
“I don’t like you, baka!” Three objects, before yelping as he’s suddenly forced into a group hug. He gives a huff, patting both of them on the back.
“...yeahyeahyeah, whatever.”
The three of them walked back to the Showgrounds, Mario in the middle, as they held hands, the Meme Guardians’ tails forming a heart behind the plumber.