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A Time of Luminal Transitions

Summary:

Young adulthood is a quagmire of shifts and pivots, where people try to come to terms with who they are and who they want to be. It can be varying degrees of difficult.

For Michelle, she is finally gaining momentum. She's in France to become proficient in French and to decide on a major path forward for her career ambitions. But from the start, things aren't on a firm footing.

Adrien is trying desperately to get past a tumultuous relationship and bad break up from lycee and find his footing for a fresh start. It isn't going well.

Felix is tackling this new beginning by juggling his family expectations with his own desires while hoping to have more luck in his love life, which has been nothing but a catastrophic mess of unrequited pining for a love that could never be.

Add in the recent resurfacing of supernatural activity in Paris and the inexplicable breakdown in miraculous magic, and well, at least it isn't dull.

Chapter Text

     Fantasies rarely survive the harsh light of day.

     Michelle took a deep breath as she slowly sank down onto the naked mattress in what would be her rather small room in her dorm suite. Things hadn’t worked out like she had hoped and, here now in the harsh physical reality of it, she was having a hard time finding that silver lining to cling to. She had hoped with Kylie and her applying at the same time and marking their preference to be with one another, they would have ended up as dorm mates. While she had known for weeks this wasn’t how it worked out, she had rather roughly shoved it aside. Kylie wouldn’t be living with her, but she was still going to be there with her. It wasn’t going to be an issue.
     Sitting there now, slowly wallowing in the creeping despair of the present, it was clear this was going to be an issue. She swallowed and pushed her negativity aside. Kylie was still in the area. She was in fact in the dorm just down the way. She knew these living quarters would be small, but she allowed the illusionary nature of the pictures provided to mislead her. The perverse need to clench at any and all positive spins on the situation proved to be too strong. However, this was truly small. Her mind couldn’t quite accept the lived truth of it. She started wondering if she was going to end up developing claustrophobia. Is that even a thing?
     Maybe this was just the first of many cultural adjustments she would need to make living here. With that thought in mind, she got up to work on finishing the final bits of unpacking and decorating she had put off. If nothing else it would give her something to do. It would ground her, help her clear her head. As she put away the last of her clothes and finished the final touches of her decorations, she mused about her initial first impressions of her new Kiwi roommate.
     First of all, she was sure English was spoken in New Zealand. She wouldn’t have been roomed with someone she couldn’t communicate with. It was something she remembered addressing in her application. But, for the life of her, she could not make out what the girl said a good portion of the time. She seemed nice, with her sparkling blue eyes and brown hair, curly and bouncy despite the heat at the end of summer. Michelle was disheartened though when she recalled Millie’s sour expression at seeing her viola and violin cases when she searched for a place to store them after hauling them in. Yet another person dreading her need for practice. She made a quick note to inquire of practice rooms on campus. It was clear her ability to practice here would be minimal at best.
     With that, she heard a rapping at the door and went to open it. Millie was there and was speaking to her. Keeping eye contact and her face neutral, Michelle struggled to piece together what was being said to her. The pause while Millie awaited a response hung in the air. Realizing Millie wanted her to come with her to the meeting for international students, Michelle quickly nodded her head and said she’d be just there. With that Millie turned back to the common area and Michelle finished up the last of her tasks.

     The meeting was a long and tedious affair that Michelle only half paid attention to. While normally a part of her would feel bad about being so lackadaisical, she was still recovering from a certain amount of jet lag. She had only been in Paris for two days now and one of those days was spent with her new roommate and her Aussie and Kiwi friends. They had gone on a brief outing just before starting their unpacking to get supplies, mainly toiletries and pantry staples for the shared bathroom and kitchenette. The whole ordeal was surreal. She had no trouble with understanding the Aussie; however, she could only really follow one of the Kiwis. It was odd. Why couldn’t she understand her roommate or her other friend?
     The droning of the last speaker faded, and the room came to life as people started to mingle. Turning, Michelle found her roommate and her friends had already drifted off. Probably to find others they knew or to otherwise mingle with new people. She sought out Kylie. She needed an anchor to help her through the malaise of her fatigue and the surreality of this new experience. Of the two, Michelle had always considered Kylie the social butterfly, and if anyone could tread through this, it would be her.
     Though it was difficult with the pack of people, her unease, and her inadvertent eavesdropping, Michelle eventually found Kylie in a small group by the front door. Upon eye contact and Kylie’s answering smile, she felt her nerves calm, allowing her to smile more authentically herself. Kylie looped her into the conversation through introductions to her new roommate and their neighbors. The tension and fear that had started to simmer in the background slowly cooled down. Kylie was there, and she had already made friends with her Canadian roommate and their neighbors, the Turkish gentleman and his roommate from Ghana. Michelle wasn’t going to be alone in all this.
     The rest of the evening was spent walking through the student night life event, perusing the different clubs, activities, and events to be found on their new campus. Michelle wasn’t necessarily as interested as some of the others. She had specific goals she wanted to accomplish with her time here and wasn’t sure if she’d be able to spend time on other pursuits easily. Best not to get invested to only let herself down. Maybe later, if she got things sorted out before the next semester, she could indulge in some of them.
     With promises of getting together the following day and with her spirits brightened with the hope of what could be, Michelle found herself walking back to her dorm with a certainty of having a refreshing night’s sleep and a proper start to her abroad experience.

     Adrien was feeling pleasantly buzzed. He was at that level of inebriation where he felt graceful, light on his feet, and still in decent command of his mental faculties. He would be on his game and able to overcome the self-loathing he would normally have in favor of confidence and unflappability. It had been months since his break up with Marinette, and he desperately needed to move on. Even if moving on at this point in time was simply bringing someone home to bed for the night.
     He surrendered himself to the melody of the music while the bass rhythm kept him anchored to the dance floor. While he and Marinette hadn’t ever had sex, despite their persistent adolescent hormonal drive towards such an outcome, he couldn’t really regret not going all the way with her. Theirs had been an infatuation driven relationship brought about by the last hour realization that both of them actually favored the other. He had been pining for her on and off since midway through their second year of lycee; she since their first. Now in hindsight, he could honestly say his initial interest had been hastened by the way she had suddenly filled out her gym top and the line the curve of her hips made.
     Not to say Marinette didn’t have other admirable attributes beside the physical, but he couldn’t really deny the importance the physical ended up having at the start of things. She was kindness, warmth, and love personified. She gave and gave, making all in her radiance and focus loved and cherished. And he rushed into it with the drive only one with a burning absence of such in his life could have. However, time has a way of ruining things when the luster and spark of initial bliss starts to fade.
     So much was against them and their longevity. First was the fact they came together in the middle of their last year of lycee, with all the impeding rupture of life paths and pursuits hanging over them. The second, of course, had to do with them being teenagers. With all the hormones and repressed lust and longing they had for one another, they had turned each other into sexual fantasies rather than real living sexual beings trying to figure out the difference between love and lust and the role sex plays in it all. Lastly, in the end, they were merely infatuated with one another, not actually in love. The reality of who and what they were slowly chipped away at their happiness and their idealized versions of each other.
     For him, it was a number of small things which seemingly blew up overnight after discovering they were Ladybug and Chat Noir. The small signs of anxiety she would display, the hints of judgment and disdain for others that would sneak out, and the need for control and things to be just so. It all dialed up to 11 afterwards. She would quickly fall into catatrophizing despite all his attempts to snap her out of it. It bespoke of her inability to trust him, which quickly became even clearer as her rebukes of him, his lifestyle, his career prospects (or lack of a solid one) started becoming more obvious and direct than her earlier oblique ones. He felt constantly criticized and harangued, driving him away from her and in fits of pique towards other women who didn’t have the same qualms about being with him.
     The breakup was a public spectacle. He was branded a womanizing cheat, his name slandered by any and all. His reputation destroyed and seemingly built anew, and confusingly enough with the same level of prestige but flipped. From famous to infamous. All of this a mere two months before graduation. All in all, they had only been together for 5 months, but it had felt so much longer. It had been intense, not only to make up for lost time but also physically as they both had pushed the other towards consummation. The reveal being the brakes that threw them both off the track.
     Now, here, in the club, with the looming new start of university hanging on the horizon, Adrien felt he had come to a new beginning for himself. He had come to embrace the bad boy image he had been given, indulging in a number of short term flings. Flings being a rather generous term as most were merely a series of glorified sexual encounters, but who was he to judge. Both parties got what they were looking for and no one walked away with any hurt feelings or damaged hearts. A win-win scenario.
     While he still ached for something more, it was too scary to really seek out. Not now. Things were still too fresh. He thought for a brief moment he might have sensed a spark of something more in one girl he was with, Kagami. But when he pushed for an actual date, the spark seemed to have vanished. What was worse, she started getting rather clingy, blowing up his phone with requests for further dates. He had let her down as gently as he could, but she hadn’t taken it well. However, she had backed off. Hopefully no more would come of it.
     Feeling the music and his confidence cresting, Adrien spotted a hot red-head in a short skirt sitting at the bar facing the dance floor. She looked to be enjoying herself, checking out the line up of available men. He sauntered over, trying to give physical finesse and presence to the cool unaffected image he wished to project. She eyed him rather hungrily and with that he knew he had the green light to approach more directly.
     Sidling next to her in a rather graceful maneuver, he tapped her glass gently with his knuckle.
     “What’s your indulgence tonight?” he said smoothly.
     “Vodka cranberry. And you?” the woman replied.
     And with that Adrien took the drink from her hand and took a sip. With a brief pucker that turned into a Cheshire grin he remarked rather cheekily, “Oh, I like. Sour but with a kick. Direct and no funny business.”
     The red-head cocked her head at him, taking back her glass. “Usually best to ensure both parties are satisfied,” she teased. He cocked an eyebrow in return and then offered his hand, turning towards the dance floor. With a wicked grin in return, the red-head set her drink down on the bar, took his hand, and proceeded to lead him onto the dance floor. 
     The night was going swimmingly. This red-headed siren, by the name of Raquel, felt amazing against him, gyrating to the beat. With just the right amount of bust to be alluring but not vulgar and with hips to comfortably grab hold of, he felt his excitement grow. If her legs were a touch longer, she would be perfection. Her hair was a tempest of sin when it would catch the strobing lights above, revealing it to be the fiery red rather than the copper-toned auburn. It would be fun tracing the plethora of freckles she would likely have on that ivory creme skin later.
     Losing themselves to their primal animal passions and in time to the techno beat, they were now unabashedly groping one another, heedless of anyone else on the dance floor. Other people were giving them clearance, almost as though in second hand embarrassment at the gratuitous display of sexual attraction and lust. Adrien had noted it but hadn’t really cared. However, there was a sudden burst of hollered recrimination behind his partner. Quickly sobering up and standing up straighter to take in what the matter could be, Raquel was suddenly seized by the back of her hair and dragged off the dance floor in front of him.
     In reaching out to grab the attacker’s shoulder to halt their progress, they turned, revealing themselves to be in actuality a short Asian woman with a striking turquoise colored side-parted mohawk. It took him a moment due to the shock of the hair color but recognition quickly dawned on him with the glare Kagami threw at him as she released Raquel’s hair and shoved her away.
     “Kagami! What the hell?!” he sputtered out in shock.
     “What the hell, indeed. How dare you chase away your carnal desires on sub-par trash like her!” she retorted angrily. “You and I both know you won’t be sated by that.”
     Raquel had some choice words in rebuttal to that but neither Adrien nor Kagami gave her any heed. Adrien gritted his teeth. This was not something he wanted to deal with, and he felt his frustration turn into ire.
     “Oh, and you think you’re the one who can satisfy me? Please. Where was this confidence? This dominance? This fire when it really mattered!” he hissed at her, hoping the blow to her ego would necessitate her retreat and an end to this scene. It unfortunately had the opposite result as she positively purred at the challenge, seemingly in arousal.
     What the fuck?
     “Everyone loves a challenge. You’ve finally made it interesting, showing there is more to you than simply a pretty facade,” she threw back at him, upping the ante as she stepped into his space to escalate the matter. He found himself aroused and empowered by the way he towered over her. She was so short and small in comparison.
     “Are you some kind of masochist? I’m not interested in you anymore. I’ve made that clear.”
     “And what’s it to you? All you want is sex, to find some hot piece of ass to fuck. I know I’m your type. So, you don’t want to date me. Fine. But why waste your time in the hunt when all you have to do is lay claim to your prize?”
     “And who’s to say I wasn’t going to get my prize?” he thundered back at her. It was at that moment a hushed silence fell, and Kagami stepped aside revealing Raquel bathing him in a scornful expression. Adrien’s eyes widened at the play Kagami made and the immediate result of it as Raquel turned and stormed away. Kagami sauntered back into his view with a smug expression on her face.
     “No one spurns me Agreste. No one. But there is a way in which to make this up to me,” she said slyly as her eyes sparkled in devilish amusement.
     “Fuck off,” he snarled at her as he moved to walk past her, deciding to call it a night.
     “Well, fucking is a part of it, but I’m not averse to bondage if you wish to swing that way,” her mock coquettish reply followed him on his way out.

     Felix was sitting at the dining table idly snacking on a pasta salad while looking over his tutoring schedule for the semester. The first week hadn’t been too bad. He had only been assigned six international students to manage for the term, and for the first two weeks they only had one session a week with him. Admittedly, after that point, there was the possibility they could opt up to three sessions a week with him. However, since it was clear the majority simply needed help with finessing their academic writing and becoming more comfortable with French academic cultural norms, his developing work schedule would not be a threat to his own studies.
     He didn’t really know what to think about this fresh start to his life. His parents were heavily pushing him towards a career in finance and business, following the footsteps of his father, but he wasn’t sure that was something he really wanted to pursue. He had been immersed in such an atmosphere and expected of such endeavors his whole life. At first he had embraced the allure and challenge offered by such a world, but it soon lost its luster when in his tweens the reality of such pursuits simply bored him to tears.
     It was in lycee when, becoming sought after for tutoring, his interest in learning and education became sparked. He felt this could be an alternative path to consider, but he wasn’t sure how to broach it with his parents. As such, he was straddling a compromise, enrolling in some finance and business classes while procuring a tutoring position alongside an educational elective.
     Disturbing him from his thoughts, Adrien came and sat on the other end of the table, commencing with his own lunch. While technically his cousin, for all intents and purposes Adrien was his brother. He and Adrien had only been born days apart of each other, and since their mothers were twins, they looked more like brothers than they did cousins. However, Adrien was to have a tragic fate as his parents died in a car accident mere days after his birth, leaving him to be raised by his aunt, who he had been under the care of when it occurred.
     As with any brother, Felix had mixed feelings about him. His parents never had any more children, so he was appreciative of having a sibling. Adrien was a steadfast playmate, a companion to share family life and experiences with. But at the same time, the differences with which his parents treated them left a sour taste in his mouth. To Felix, Adrien was the golden, precious child. He could do no wrong. His parents doted on him a bit too much. Admittedly though, their treatment was often mingled with a sense of pity and tragedy. He was, after all, a constant reminder of the loss of his mother’s beloved sister, and as such, Adrien wasn’t ever a person in his own right.
     However, Felix was not treated with kid gloves. Where Adrien needed to be coddled, Felix was met with expectation and firm guidance. It wasn’t so bad when they were kids. The distinction became more apparent in their tween years. These were the crucible years for them. It was during this time Felix developed a swell of resentment towards Adrien. He could do whatever and the result didn’t matter. His parents would shower affection and appreciation on him. With Felix, on the other hand,…
     Now though, things were different. His parents were still as they had ever been with him but with a bit more trust he would do what was right. With Adrien, however, there had been a shift. They were, without really any effort to hide it, simply, but gently, pushing him off. Since Adrien also opted to seek a licence, his parents were financing his studies as well as his own. Unlike with him, though, there was no scrutiny or discussion of what institution, what major, or what career path Adrien would be embarking on. He was free to make and pursue his own choices. The lucky bastard.
      Felix polished off the last of his pasta salad while taking a glance at Adrien. While Felix always sported a short, clean haircut and dressed in what amounted to be business casual, Adrien’s hair was longer and shaggier. He was currently pushing his bangs back out of his face while taking another bite of his sandwich. Unlike him, Adrien sported a more casual almost rebellious appearance in his disheveled and yet loud band shirt and strategically ripped black jeans.
     “How’s the start of the term been for you?” Felix asked casually before finishing his drink.
     Adrien shrugged in reply as he swallowed. “Alright. And you?”
     “It looks to be okay. The tutoring is going to be interesting. I’ve got two Americans, an Italian, a Brazilian, an Indian, and a Chinese.”
     “Lucky you. Any of them cute?”
     Felix took a moment to think. Well, only three of them were female. The Italian was a fox. There was no denying that, with her olive skin, bewitching hazel eyes, and caramel hair. The American was friendly and cute. However, she wasn’t very distinctive looking. The Indian woman was much older, a grad student. Of the two available options, the American was the more approachable. He didn’t think he’d have any chance with the Italian.
     “A few, but it’s early still. Don’t have a good read on who they are.”
     Adrien gave him a look. “I’m not asking about that. There’s nothing wrong with simply finding people attractive you know.”
     Felix diverted his gaze. “The Italian is really hot. The American is kind of cute, but chunky.”
     “Hmm…Well, that may change. They tend to lose weight with all the walking they have to adjust to.”
     “That’s a possibility.”
     “So, tell me more about this hot Italian. Is she all legs or does she have other notable assets?” Adrien wiggled his eyebrows at him.
     Felix sighed and immediately regretted, yet again, the drunken confession a year or so ago about his preference for long legs. His brother was still getting mileage out of it. It irked him, but it was also a way for them to be brotherly again despite everything. He gave him a smirk and decided to indulge him.
     “Legs for days Addy,” he popped out in English before reverting back to French. “With these bewitching hazel eyes and caramel hair. Ugh. I can’t think on it too long.”
     “I’ll say,” Adrien coolly replied. “Mayhaps you’ll get a proper girlfriend this year, instead of waiting on Rose to decide she’s bi.”
     Felix glared at him. “You know I gave up on that for years now, you little turd.”
     “Ah, yes. I remember now. The sulk of second year,” the taunt in his eyes.
     “Not all of us go through girls like flavors of ice cream on a hot day,” he retorted.
     There was a flash of something in Adrien’s eyes, but before Felix could make anything of it, it quickly passed. He wondered if he actually saw something or not.
     “Well, I do confess I’ve got a wondering eye, but I’m young yet and there are so many beautiful girls afoot. I can’t dally if I want to have a run with as many as I can while I have the chance,” he spouted off with an air of condescension.
     Felix cocked his head and considered him for a moment. The silence fell, but before it could get awkward he asked, “Is Kagami still stalking you at the clubs?”
     “I wouldn’t call it stalking quite yet, but yes, she’s made it a point to search me out at all of Nino’s publicly announced gigs. It’s irritating and flattering at the same time. I mean, at least it’s solidified my reputation. It makes it easier to initiate flings than it had been. So, all in all, it could be worse.” He shook his hair out of his face after finishing the last of his sandwich.
     “Well, if you are fine with things, then I guess it isn’t an issue. But if it ever becomes one, you know I’ll help you out as best I can.” He looked at him seriously.
     “I know,” Adrien replied in kind. And then after a beat, “But my reputation may give you an edge with this Italian. There’s always that to consider if you ever want to play that card,” he added with a wink, diffusing the seriousness that had threatened to fall.
     “You are incorrigible, you know that,” Felix answered with a smirk, knowing full well he would never take him up on that offer and Adrien knew it.

     It was the end of his tutoring day, and Felix was taking detailed notes on his international students. Two of them decided to keep to a once a week schedule. Three had bumped it up to twice a week, with the American girl having bumped her sessions to three for the next two weeks. As such, he was writing his thoughts out on her in more detail so as to anticipate and monitor how things were going. She was an interesting character to say the least. Her name was Michelle, and as he discovered with Americans in the past, she had a tendency to over share personal information. While it was a bit uncomfortable, he mustered through it, thinking it was her way of establishing a connection with him and dealing with all that came with being abroad.
     It would appear it had been a dream of hers for some time to come to France and become more functionally fluent in French. As such she came across as equal parts excited and nervous with the actual lived reality of being here. How it was compared to what she thought it would be like. He found himself taking a specific note of that as it had become known many Asian students suffered mental distress from their ideals of France, and of Paris in particular, not matching up with the actual lived reality of it. He may need to keep an eye out on it to steer her towards counseling if it proved to become an issue.
     Other than those concerns, Michelle came across as friendly, bright, and rather motivated to tackle the academic challenges she was going to face. So far her sessions had centered on addressing her syllabi and other course housekeeping concerns, cementing language and queries as to her food allergies, and getting more comfortable with thinking and conversing in French. Their last session was them simply conversing on their interests, hobbies, food preferences, and the like. Whenever they hit a snag, he switched back to English to smooth it over and used the breakdown as a teachable moment. Over the course of those two weeks, he found himself in better spirits after their sessions. He even found himself looking forward to those days he knew he had sessions with her. While not wanting to think too much on it, it was becoming evident he was nursing a crush on her.