Chapter Text
Kim Namjoon was not having a good day. In fact, it had been such a nightmare that he should have stayed home. Was there a point to all of this? Was there any genuine incentive to act like a functional member of society? Leaving the safety of his bed may be something capitalism demanded of him, but was what he received in return worth it? Was it worth subjecting himself to the shame and humiliation that resulted from being perceived in public? Today’s trainwreck hadn’t even been his fault, but no one knew that but him.
Now he had never claimed to be perfect, he was incredibly aware of his shortcomings and was constantly trying to compensate for them. He was clumsy, he was forgetful, he was always losing things and getting lost. He’d spent years developing a system to ensure he wasn’t one bad moment away from ruining his entire life, he’d figured out how to cope. But all of his strategies had fallen to pieces when he got saddled with the world’s shittiest roommate. Was Maru a bad person? Not exactly, but he was careless and inconsiderate in ways Namjoon found impossible to predict. Was it because Maru didn’t seem to consider how his actions affect others while Namjoon obsessed over it to the point of requiring medication? God, you sound like his therapist, just let him live already!
The point was, nothing that had happened today was a result of his own choices or mistakes. It was because Maru, despite his repeated pleas to think of the environment or— at the very least— their power bill, had gone to sleep with the air conditioner and the dishwasher running. This overloaded the ancient circuit board in their apartment and caused a power outage in the middle of the night. Which would be a minor inconvenience to most, but Namjoon had never been a lucky person, so this one little thing snowballed into a series of disasters he simply did not have the means to deal with.
Problem #1: his fan turned off, which in Seoul’s sweltering summer ensured he woke up sweaty and gross.
Problem #2: His laptop hadn’t charged, which while annoying wouldn’t have been the end of the world if it hadn’t led to:
Problem #3: Namjoon used his laptop to charge his phone.
Okay, maybe that one was on him, but he’d lost the wall charger for his phone years ago and buying a cord was so much cheaper. But with both devices going flat overnight, there was no alarm to wake him up in the morning, which led into:
Problem #4: Namjoon woke up late on a very important day.
Hypothetically, he’d had a plan to prevent this, after all, he’d spent his entire life trying to circumvent Murphy’s Law. Unfortunately, said plan involved relying on his roommate to do literally anything for him. Maru had agreed to drive him to campus that morning, he was going there anyway and it was the bare minimum he could do after Namjoon paid his half of the rent last week. It wasn’t unreasonable to think Maru would at least check to see if he was awake and still needed a ride. But either he’d forgotten his promise or not cared enough to wait for him, so he was long gone by the time the neighbour’s yappy maltese had woken Namjoon up an hour later.
Roused from his sleep, with no time to shower, Namjoon had five minutes to make it onto the only bus that would have gotten him to campus on time. The only reason it was even hypothetically possible was that Namjoon was so over-prepared for disaster that he always aimed to be excessively early. But he didn’t make it, which meant he ended up fifteen minutes late to a meeting with his professor in the least presentable state of his life. Now Namjoon was familiar with Professor Keng’s habits, the botany department was so tiny he’d taken one of his classes every semester during his undergraduate degree. He knew him so well he’d been positive that everything would work out fine because the man was half an hour late to everything on a good day! But it turned out that, unlike Namjoon, Professor Keng was having a fucking fantastic day and had been on time for their meeting and thus had been forced to wait. And ever the hypocrite, he was less than impressed by his tardiness and furious when Namjoon couldn’t even show him his progress on his thesis, as once again: his laptop was dead.
But of course, his problems couldn’t end there, today had been important for multiple reasons. The big one being that he had a job interview today. It was the only place even remotely connected to his studies to contact him and he was counting on that position. Not only so he could stop working at Subway, but so he could make enough to stop living with fucking Maru who had caused this mess in the first place. But with both of his devices down and his chargers forgotten at home in his rush, he didn't have the address and thus didn’t know where he was supposed to go. Why not go to the library to check his emails and get the information, you ask? Well, small problem, Namjoon had always considered it his laptop’s job to remember his passwords for him.
It wasn’t his fault! His work experience was irrelevant to the job so he’d needed to apply with his university e-mail to remind prospective employers at every turn that he was attending a SKY school. But unlike his personal email which he hadn’t changed the password for since MSN was a thing, the university made him change the log-in every two months! They wouldn’t let you re-use any previous passwords and they all had to contain so many numbers and extra symbols— he may be a genius, technically speaking, but that didn’t make him omniscient! So yes, not only would Namjoon not be able to attend the interview, he wouldn’t even be able to let them know in advance he wouldn’t be showing up!
Namjoon didn’t like to be pessimistic— it was his natural state, but he was trying to be better— so he searched for a bright side even as the bus he’d reluctantly caught home grumbled through mid-morning traffic. He also tried not to bemoan it being so packed with tourists he’d been left without a seat, or curse whichever idol had the audacity to inform Westerners that K-Pop was a thing. No, he was better than that! So instead, he tried to think of any possible way he could turn this day around.
Maybe once he was home and had charged everything he’d find out the interviewer had had to reschedule on him! Ugh no, who was he kidding? He’d never be that lucky. What else? Maybe he could write an apology email so professional they’d forgive him and set up a new interview. That was technically possible. Maybe then it would end up being a good thing he hadn’t known the address and raced across town in his current state. Sure, it was a garden centre, but they’d still expect potential employees to show up freshly showered and prepared for the interview. He didn’t even have his resume with him!
That was a nicer thought, a potential second chance. He just had to write an email, he was good at that. He’d be honest about having a rough morning and ask for their understanding, they’d be accommodating right? And if they weren’t, it was probably a good sign he wouldn’t be happy working there. He was a human after all, he made mistakes, probably more than most even if what happened today hadn’t been his fault, this was just a stress test for the position! If the manager was going to be shitty about an unfortunate string of bad luck, he didn’t want the job!
Feeling better, he nodded to himself and closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths to cleanse himself of the anxiety that had driven his shoulders up to his ears and set his jaw in a painful position. He just needed a few seconds of peace, a moment of calm so he could ground himself, a tiny break so he could pull himself back together.
But he picked the worst possible moment to relax.
A loud horn blared as a car swerved in front of the bus; the driver swore loudly and slammed on his brakes and the bus which had been steadily gaining speed came to a violent halt. Namjoon didn’t have time to square his feet, lock his knees or grab onto a handrail; there wasn’t even a chance, he just flew.
Namjoon was something of an expert at falling, so even as his stumbling feet failed to steady and his scrambling hands failed to find purchase, he knew to twist so he would hit the ground in the least painful position possible. He didn’t want to land on his face obviously– he liked his nose the way it was and he couldn’t afford a hospital trip right now– but if he landed on his back it could mess him up for weeks if not months and there was a higher risk he’d hit his head. No, he wanted to land on his side, he might still jar his shoulder but it was the best option he had. So he screwed up his face and braced for impact.
But it never came.
It took a full eight seconds for Namjoon to start breathing again because it didn’t make sense. Absolutely nothing had gone right for him today, so why wouldn’t he be adding an injury to the long list of things to resent the universe for? Why had his fall stopped as abruptly as it started? Why would he feel strong arms wrapping around him? Why would he go from precariously plummeting to safe and secure? And how would he of all people be lucky enough to open one eye and find himself mere inches from the most beautiful face he’d ever seen? There was no possible reality in which this was happening to him. He must have hit the ground, he must be concussed, he must be hallucinating– he was probably unconscious!
But the man he was looking at was so terrifyingly gorgeous, he doubted his mind’s capacity to invent him. No fantasy had ever been so vivid, no daydream so detailed, no delusion so utterly out of his league. Namjoon did not have the nerve to imagine a man like this catching him, he wasn’t bold enough to envision someone so princely holding him protectively off the ground, he didn’t have the audacity to picture their faces ending up so close together.
He was classically handsome, the kind of face that idol agencies would chase down the block. Every feature was perfectly placed and defined, a strange balance of sharp and soft that was utterly intoxicating. Angular cheekbones, prominent eyebrows, a strong jaw, but also pillowy lips, shiny eyes and flawless skin. He even had natural aegyosal, the slightly puffy skin under the eye that Namjoon had always seen girls highlight with glitter, yet never truly understood how fucking cute it was before this moment. Namjoon had heard people described as cold beauties before; he knew the look, the polished refined perfection that made them utterly unapproachable– but that wasn’t this guy at all. He was beautiful, that was indisputable, but something about him just felt kind, welcoming, warm.
And he was talking, saying something that Namjoon’s fluttering mind was failing to comprehend. He had such a nice voice, gentle and smooth with an expressive lilt. He seemed to naturally smile as he spoke, a grin already pulling at his plush cheeks even after asking such a short question. Wait. Fuck, he had asked a question! Namjoon had actually caught it, but his brain was glitching too hard to even register he’d heard him. It was simple too, one he could have read off his lips with the intensity he’d been staring at them. He could do this! He knew the answer to the question!
‘I think I just fell for you.’
The moment the words leave his mouth, the stranger, who’d been hovering half a foot from his face, pulls back abruptly. His eyes go wide and he doesn’t respond, a disbelieving splutter escaping his throat. It’s only then that Namjoon realises what he said and a wave of shame nearly suffocates him. What the actual fuck was that? What was wrong with him? He hadn’t meant to say that. He had not meant to say that! This poor beautiful man had just asked him if he was okay! That was the question! “Are you okay?” There were a million correct responses to that question and that was not one of them. He could have just said “yes”, he could have said, “I’m fine.” At the absolute boldest “I am, thanks to you.” It would have been lame, but at least it would have answered the fucking question!
But that? That fucking line? “I think I just fell for you?” Who said shit like that? What was wrong with him? Had he ever said something that stupid even once in his entire life? No! No, he had not! And yet that was what came out of his mouth when faced with the literal angel who made the unfortunate decision to save his dumb ass! He should just drop him on the ground and be done with it.
‘That…’ the man started after a long, painful silence, ‘was terrible.’
Namjoon cringes at himself and knows his ancestors are too. This was ridiculous. No part of him genuinely thought he had a chance with a man so gorgeous that he couldn’t be blamed if he went the Narcissus route. He never would have hit on him on purpose, he wouldn’t have dared… so why was he so disappointed in his complete lack of game?
‘I am so sorry,’ Namjoon says immediately, scrambling for an appropriate response, ‘I don’t know why I– I shouldn’t have said– I didn’t mean to–’
The man just stares at him as he tries and fails to string a sentence together. His face burns and he wants to cry, but in the end, he has to admit defeat. There was no saving this, there was nothing he could say that would stop this moment from being utterly humiliating. He just had to give up.
‘I’m sorry,’ Namjoon repeats shamefully, ‘I’m a mess, I don’t have any other explanation or excuse for that, it was really inappropriate. Thank you for catching me.’
‘No problem,’ the man says, but the intensity in his gaze doesn’t ease and Namjoon’s cheeks are scorching hot, ‘let’s get you back on your feet, yeah?’
It isn’t until the stranger starts to stand that Namjoon realises how close he was to smashing into the floor of the bus. He’d legitimately gotten down on one knee in order to catch him maybe three feet from the ground. How had he even managed such a thing? What kind of insane reflexes did he have? It would’ve still been shocking if he’d caught him like a dancer in a backbend, but this was closer to the male lead in a drama. The kind where they cradled their lover’s unresponsive body in their arms and desperately pleaded with them to open their eyes!
…Or perhaps Namjoon has been watching too many angsty romance movies. Either way, it was an impressive save and fuck he must be strong to pull it off.
After he eases him back to his feet, the stranger doesn’t let go for a solid thirty seconds, triple-checking he isn’t about to go flying again before he releases his grip. It’s kind of him, probably kinder than Namjoon deserves right now. Because he feels pathetically cold and empty without the man’s touch on his waist and back. Because all he can think of the moment the man steps away is that he is even more out of his league than he thought. Who the fuck had shoulders like that? And what possible reason could there be for him to have a waist that tiny? How was Namjoon supposed to live knowing he had been in those arms and never would be again? Did he have to be so well dressed on top of everything else? Couldn’t he just have one fault so that it wouldn’t be so obvious the universe had favourites?
He felt guilty for even noticing these things. This man stepped in to stop Namjoon from getting hurt, reacted without thought to save him even though he could have been injured in the process. Yet Namjoon is so fixated on how attractive he is that he can barely function and couldn’t even thank him before making a pass at him. God this is so humiliating, he thought he was better than this!
He turns his head trying to look away from his saviour so he can get a fucking grip, only to lock eyes with the bus driver in the rear-view mirror. Wait… there was no way the entire bus hadn’t just witnessed Namjoon acting like a skeezy clown. Oh god. He looks around and it’s obvious they’ve had the full attention of every commuter and tourist on the bus. One woman even has her phone pointed at them as if she’s been taking pictures or– god forbid– recording them. Fucking hell, could he not just burst into flames or something? Cease to exist? Not be perceived for one goddamn minute? It was almost impossible for someone as accident-prone as Namjoon to reach a new height of humiliation, considering he hadn’t had his first kiss until he was nineteen because his entire school had known about the time he’d accidentally head-butted his middle school boyfriend and broke his nose. But this might beat it, it may not have as long-lasting consequences, but it might actually feel worse.
He almost has a heart attack when the bus starts to move again. Frantically reaching for a strap, he manages to grab one in time, but he still sways with the momentum enough to bump into the stranger. Forget a minute without being perceived, could he just go one second without being an embarrassment? Or if that was too much to ask, could someone just shoot him?
‘Careful,’ the man says, voice light and teasing even as he lets out a low chuckle that sends a shiver down Namjoon’s spine.
Jesus Christ, could this guy just chill? Namjoon was trying not to get any more attracted to him than he already was. Had he not already made it abundantly clear he couldn’t handle it? Why did he insist on making things harder for him?
‘Right,’ Namjoon gulps, letting out a strangled laugh that sounds far less pleasant than the one he just heard, ‘sorry again.’
‘You’re fine,’ the man says, but as a smile starts to form on his features, Namjoon looks away.
Forcing himself to look out the front window of the bus, he focuses on the skyline and bustling traffic of Seoul. He was sure of one thing in that moment: he did not need to know what a proper smile looked like on this man. It would undoubtedly make him only more gorgeous and he didn’t need any further incentive to act like a fool. He suppresses a scream of relief when only a few minutes of pure awkwardness later, he spots the convenience store near his apartment in the distance. He hits the button to signal the driver, so grateful for the chance to get the fuck off this bus and as it pulls to a far gentler stop, he gathers up his courage. Braving one last look at the beautiful man, he ducks into a 90° bow, mumbles another thank you, turns around and runs off the bus.
He makes it onto the street without tripping, takes a few steps forward to ensure he isn’t too close to the curb– lest a nondescript white van plough into him like the K-Drama he’d been living for the last ten minutes– and heaves out a massive sigh. The sound of the bus departing behind him is music to his ears and he quietly celebrates it taking the source of and the witnesses to his embarrassment with it. Okay, that was bad, but at least it was done. This nightmare of a day was almost finished, he just had to get back to his apartment without dying and this whole thing would be over.
Or at least that’s what he thinks until he turns to start the walk home and almost crashes into the man from the bus.
Oh no. When the hell had he gotten off? How long had he been standing there beside him? Had he heard Namjoon sigh like that? Did he have to look even prettier in natural lighting? There was no possible way he could pretend he hadn’t seen him. They were making direct eye contact now, there was no going back, he had to say something to him. He couldn’t just keep staring at him like a befuddled deer staring down an eighteen-wheeler.
‘Hi…’ Namjoon says lamely, stepping back quickly as if they weren’t both fully aware he’d almost walked straight into his chest, ‘I um… do you uh live around here?’
It was a bad question to ask, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say. He doubted he’d receive an answer, they were strangers after all and Namjoon had already come across as a weirdo and a creep. Maybe it would be best if he didn’t, if they ran into each other in the neighbourhood again there was every chance he’d make an idiot of himself again.
The man fixed him with a smirk, a huff of laughter escaping those stupidly perfect lips as he simply said, ‘No.’
He didn’t explain, nor did he say anything else. He just stood there, staring at Namjoon with an intensity that was guaranteed to make him flatline. It wasn’t a threatening look, he didn't seem angry or upset, he almost looked amused but Namjoon didn’t know what to do with that. He felt like he was missing something, like there was a social queue he’d somehow skipped over learning and it was about to blow up in his face. God, he had to get out of here.
‘Thanks again for what you did and um… sorry again,’ Namjoon mumbled, wishing he could say something more articulate, ‘I’m ah, going this way so…’
He stepped around him to walk up the street, but he only made it ten feet before he realised something was wrong. Groaning and swearing under his breath, he starts cursing at whatever higher power was actively fucking with him right now. Could nothing go his way? Could nothing be as simple as it should be?
‘You doing okay there?’ the man asks, because of course he’s still watching him.
‘I’m good,’ Namjoon huffs, pinching the bridge of his nose, ‘This is just the tenth fucking time I’ve done this.’
‘Done what?’ he enquires, sounding concerned, but also like he’s about to laugh.
‘There’s a convenience store near my apartment, so whenever I see it, I signal the driver because it’s right near my stop.’
‘So… that one?’ the man asks, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at the building across the street.
‘No,’ Namjoon sighs, disappointed in his own existence, ‘the one two kilometres from here that looks virtually identical.’
The stranger pauses, one brow raising incredulously, ‘But… it’s fluoro green?’
‘Same owners, so the signage is all the same, the buildings even look similar. I don’t know why they set up two locations so close together but it’s–’ Namjoon cuts off, knowing how utterly incompetent he looks in this moment, ‘It’s fine, I’ll be fine, I’m not on a time crunch or anything I just… have you ever had one of those days where absolutely nothing goes right?’
He doesn’t know why he’s asking and doesn’t expect a proper answer. They weren’t friends, they weren’t even acquaintances, it was weird enough they were even talking. Why was he still bothering this man with his problems? And why was he letting him? Maybe he felt bad for him, maybe he was bored or just trying to be polite.
‘I’ve had my fair share,’ the man shrugs, but it’s a pretty nothing answer, ‘where do you live?’
‘In Jangwi-sam-dong,’ Namjoon answers honestly, knowing the man’s just looking for the information so he can avoid him in future, ‘It’s that way.’
‘Ah, I’m headed in that direction too,’ the man says, ‘shall we walk together?’
Wait… what? Why would he offer such a thing? Namjoon had been nothing but awkward, messy and creepy in front of him. Should he not be trying to escape him? …Was it a manners thing?
‘You um, don’t have to–’
‘Nonsense,’ the man says brightly, fixing him with a smile that was as dazzling as Namjoon feared it would be, ‘I’d like the company, besides you’ve got me curious now. Let’s go!’
…Maybe he was just really extroverted.
He starts walking without hesitation and Namjoon has no choice but to follow him, trying to keep pace with him as he marches down the busy Seoul streets, ‘Curious about what?’
‘Oh come on,’ he grins, ‘you can’t say nothing has gone right today at eleven fifteen in the morning without some kind of story. Or was the last ten minutes really enough for you to write off the entire day?’
‘Ah… that.’
There was a part of Namjoon that didn’t want to answer the question honestly. He could try to save face and pretend it was just about the bus incident, try to make himself look a little less like a loser. But he clearly had left his dignity at home today and it would be nice to have someone to complain to. So he decides to just go for it. Why not? It’s not like he’s ever going to see the pretty boy again.
‘Today… has been one disaster after another,’ he admits, ‘My roommate knocked the power out while we were asleep, so nothing charged and my alarm didn’t go off. So I was late for a meeting with my professor, but I couldn’t even show him anything without my laptop so that looked great. And like… Professor Keng is late to every goddamn class and meeting I’ve ever had with him, but of course, I’m the disappointment for being late one time. Plus, I was supposed to be at a job interview right now, but I don’t have the address and I can’t even contact them to let them know I won’t be able to make it until I get home, and they’re probably still sitting there wondering where the hell I am and– Sorry, I shouldn’t be complaining so much, but falling on the bus and ending up a half an hour walk from my apartment was just par for the course today.’
But the stranger breezes past his apology and instead is looking him up and down, ‘You were supposed to have a job interview today? Dressed like that?’
Namjoon looks down at himself and yeah, it’s pretty bad. He hadn’t even changed out of the old basketball shorts he’d fallen asleep in, he just threw on his scuffed-up trainers, chucked the first shirt he could get his hands on over his head and ran out the door. He hadn’t had time for anything else, but it simply wasn’t a good look. Especially considering the shirt he’d grabbed was his Epik High “Born Hater” t-shirt which he’d lopped the arms off because they bugged him at the gym. No wonder his Professor had been so annoyed with him this morning, maybe it was lucky he hadn’t gone to the interview after all.
‘I didn’t exactly plan on wearing this,’ Namjoon sighs, not taking the comment personally, ‘I’d picked out something nice, but I didn’t have enough time this morning.’
“Wait, wait, I’m sorry that sounded really rude,’ the man cringes, ‘I’m not trying to be mean, I was just surprised, I figured you’d just come from the gym or something and– No, that doesn’t sound any better. I really didn’t mean to sound judgey, I’m not the type to kick someone when they’re down.’
He sounds so genuinely apologetic that it catches Namjoon off guard. He doesn’t doubt that he means it, his eyes are shiny with remorse, but for some reason, this slip-up is making him feel better rather than worse. It’s silly, but it was nice not to be the only one making mistakes, the only one apologising for saying something unintentionally. It makes him feel a bit more comfortable and it makes the stranger seem more human, so Namjoon doesn’t hesitate to let him off the hook.
‘Hey, it’s fine, I probably would have assumed the same thing,’ Namjoon insists with a dismissive wave of his hand, ‘in fact, that makes me sound way better, can that be my cover story instead? I didn’t have to meet with my professor or a potential employer today, I was at the gym, the rowing machine was taken and they were out of the good protein bars. That’s why today was such a disaster, no other reason, I totally have my life together.’
His efforts earn him a snort of laughter, and the man bumps against his shoulder playfully, ‘well I’m glad to see my PR degree isn’t going to waste after all,’ he says, offering him a soft smile and fuck he was so pretty, ‘I’m Seokjin by the way. I probably should have started with that before I started bugging you for gossip.’
‘Kim Namjoon,’ he replies, ‘Um… 94?’
‘92, I win,’ Seokjin retorts, a victorious grin tugging on his lips, ‘guess that makes me your hyung then.’
‘Guess it does,’ Namjoon breathes, and when he can’t think of anything substantial to say he tacts on, ‘Makes sense.’
Seokjin raises one perfectly sculpted eyebrow, face snapping from happy to unimpressed, ‘Are you calling me old?’
Fuck. No, no, no! That was not what he meant! He didn’t mean anything at all! He was just trying to fill the silence! It had been quieter for exactly one second longer than he could handle, that was it! He wasn’t trying to imply anything!
‘No, no, not like that!’ he panics, ‘I just meant– I just mean you’re so put together and on top of things, and in comparison I’m such a–’
‘I’m kidding,’ Seokjin interrupts, letting out a high squeaky laugh that has no business being charming, ‘Lighten up Namjoon-ah! I was just messing with you, you’re fine.’
‘Oh… right,’ Namjoon says, trying to breathe even as his mind flipped from freaking out about offending him to freaking out that he’d just said his name, ‘I didn’t… I’m sorry.’
‘Relax, you don’t have to freak out, I don’t bite,’ he laughs, but then in an instant his expression changes, his jovial expression turning into a wolfish grin as he tips his head back and looks at him sideways, ‘unless requested.’
That… was illegal. Was Seokjin doing this on purpose? Flirting? With Namjoon? No, that was definitely impossible, he must be like this naturally. He was just inherently seductive and charming and had zero concept of what exposing the unblemished skin of his neck did to the mere mortals he encountered. He had no idea of the overwhelming want Namjoon felt in that moment, how needy and desperate he felt when Seokjin’s voice pitched a little deeper as he said those far too tempting words. He couldn’t know, he couldn’t, unless he was still fucking with him, but he doubted it. Namjoon had been extremely obvious about how attracted he was to Seokjin, it would have been cruel to give him false hope and despite not really knowing him, it didn’t feel like it was in his nature.
‘So, the job interview,’ Seokjin prompted, as if they’d never gotten off the topic and like every movement he made from the skip in his step to the flutter of his eyelashes didn’t count as psychological warfare, ‘is there really no way to contact them for the address? Or ask them to reschedule for a day when you’re more prepared?’
‘Unfortunately no, not until I get home,’ Namjoon sighs as he’s reluctantly dragged back to reality, ‘my phone and my laptop are both dead so I can’t access my emails and that’s the only place I had all the information listed.’
Seokjin hums sympathetically, ‘Is the interview important? Do you have anything else lined up?’
‘It’s the only place that has gotten back to me in two months,’ Namjoon admits depressedly, ‘I’m not unemployed, and it’s not my dream job, but I want to do something related to my degree and it’s slim pickings, but I guess that’s what I get for picking botany.’
‘Botany?’ Seokjin repeats, clearly familiar with the word even if his expression and tone make it clear he can’t believe he just heard Namjoon say it.
‘Kind of obscure, I know. It’s my own fault,’ he laughs, ‘my classmates are getting jobs in agriculture or urban planning or the pharmaceutical industry and I know I could too, but I wanted something more low maintenance while I’m doing my masters. I thought working in a garden centre would be nice, but most of them are attached to hardware stores and I don’t even trust myself to put up a shelf without losing my security deposit so… limited options.’
Seokjin laughs, but he sounds breathless, eyes tracing Namjoon’s face and body for reasons he can’t comprehend, ‘you um…’ he blinks hard and restarts his sentence, ‘You’re working on your masters? How long have— Wait, wait, did you just say you were applying for a garden centre?’
Namjoon frowns, once again feeling like he’s missing some kind of social queue, ‘Yes to both, why?’
‘Ah Namjoonie, you had me thinking it was some sort of obscure place that we wouldn’t be able to find! You can borrow my phone, it's fine,’ he says jovially, fishing an older model Samsung out of the pocket of his slacks, ‘I’m sure if we look them up on Naver there’ll be a phone number listed. I know it’s not as professional as calling the hiring manager directly, but I’m sure they’ll understand given the circumstances.’
‘Ah,’ Namjoon says, pausing for a long moment before deciding if he hasn’t scared Seokjin off with how embarrassing he is before this moment, he might as well admit to the whole thing, ‘Okay so… I don’t actually remember the name of the business. I went to the campus library to look it up, I know it had something to do with butterflies, but I tried searching for every variation of “butterfly gardens” I could think of and I just couldn’t find it.’
Seokjin doesn’t respond for a long moment, lips pursed and eyes distant. It would seem like he was dead to the world if he didn’t also tug Namjoon out of the way of a guy on a messenger bike. He doesn’t even say anything about it, just pulls at the waist of his shirt with two fingers until Namjoon falls into step closer to him. There’s almost no space between them now as they walk, their hands keep brushing against each other, but Seokjin doesn’t address it, taking time to compile his thoughts before speaking.
‘Sorry, I’m just trying to confirm something,’ Seokjin says carefully, ‘Didn’t you say there aren’t a lot of garden centres in Seoul? Like, that part makes sense to me, standalone garden centres are less common than hardware stores with garden sections, I get that.’
‘Yeah…’
‘I’m… look, I’m sorry if this is a dumb question, I’m sure you would have already tried and it’s probably not as simple as I feel like it must be,’ Seokjin rambles, clearly trying to soften whatever he was going to say, ‘but did you try just looking up “garden centres near me” on Naver? Like, just look for the general business type rather than trying to remember a specific name? That way you can scroll down the list by location and see if any of the names are familiar or butterfly-related. I don’t mean to like, patronise you or anything, but all of what you just said sounds so hyper-specific I don’t think I understand how you weren’t able to find it.’
When Namjoon was in the third grade, everyone in his class was asked to make a poster about their favourite planet. It was a fairly simple project to give to a bunch of eight-year-olds, the sort of thing that could be completed in a weekend or two with their parent’s help. But Namjoon had never been able to take the easy way out, he ended up asking so many questions his poor teacher ended up contacting an astronomer for help because he wouldn’t shut up about Pluto. His parents had to drag him to bed every night for weeks because he wanted to stay up to work on his poster. But on the day it was due, Namjoon was the only one in the entire class to forget to bring his poster with him, and the only one to forget to bring his permission slip for the excursion to the planetarium the teacher had only arranged because he’d been such a pain.
All that to say, Namjoon was very experienced with shocking people into silence with how dumb he was in practice, no matter how smart he was in theory.
‘I… have had a very long day.’
For a few seconds, there’s silence, then Seokjin’s laughter is the loudest thing he’s ever heard. It’s such a ridiculous sound, high and squeaky and filled with hiccups, they have to stop walking because he can’t even keep himself upright. Namjoon tries to keep a straight face, but he can’t hold it back and soon he’s laughing too, collapsing against the wall of a random restaurant, shoulders shaking as the stress of the day finally melts away. It was worth it, he decides, this whole disaster was worth it for these few minutes of laughing with Seokjin. They try to pull it together a few times, taking steadying breaths and trying to gulp down the giggles, but the moment they lock eyes they’re both off again. They’re five feet from a busy intersection, he knows people are staring but he just doesn’t care. He’s happy, even if he can’t explain why.
‘Oh my god,’ Seokjin gasps eventually, ‘fuck my ribs hurt, I needed that.’
‘My idiocy is at your service,’ Namjoon says with a dramatic bow that earns him an immediate flick on the forehead.
‘I’m not laughing at you dummy,’ Seokjin complains, but then cocks his head to the side, ‘Okay, maybe I am a little but like, not in a mean way.’
‘Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say,’ Namjoon grins and then jumps out of the way as Seokjin attempts to smack him.
‘Yah, respect your hyung,’ he insists, preparing another attack, ‘you should be grateful I said something rather than just assuming you tried the obvious thing first. Now you can actually find the damn place.’
‘Right, right,’ Namjoon grins, giggling as he lets Jin’s hand thwack against his chest, ‘Thank you hyung, I’m in your debt.’
‘Exactly,’ he announces, then hooks their arms together to drag him across the intersection and down the block, ‘Now let’s have a look for your garden centre.’
He types their search into Naver with one hand, and then holds the phone up in front of Namjoon as they walk and slowly scrolls through the options, ‘No… no… no… wait! That one, Brimstone Botanical! God, it was right on the tip of my tongue, you’re a lifesaver Seokjin-hyung!’
‘Call me Jin, everyone does,’ he says, starting to smile before he snaps to a frown, ‘wait a goddamn second, what the hell does brimstone have to do with butterflies? How is that right on the tip of your–’
‘It’s a type of butterfly hyung,’ Namjoon cuts across him easily, ‘they have these really pretty wings that look like leaves, I studied them in an entomology class once.’
‘Oh, so I’m supposed to just get that it’s about a butterfly from the name?’ Jin scoffs incredulously, ‘That seems like a branding mistake to me! Why the hell is it even called that–’
‘It’s the old world for sulphur hyung, you know, a greenish-yellow colour? It makes sense to me.’
‘You’re such a nerd,’ Jin says with an eye roll, tapping a few buttons on his phone as if the case doesn’t depict Mario as Sailor Moon, ‘What was the name of the person you were supposed to interview with today?’
‘Han Siwoo, why do you ask?’
Jin doesn’t answer, instead, he raises his phone to his ear, winks at him and then a few seconds later he says, ‘Hi, is this Brimstone Botanical?’
His voice is so peppy and upbeat it takes Namjoon a second to realise what he even said, but then he nearly breaks his neck turning to look at him, ‘What?’
‘Yes I was wondering if I could talk to Manager Han?... Thank you so much, yes I’ll hold.’
‘What are you doing?’ Namjoon hisses, dropping their interlinked arms and staring at him in horror, ‘You didn’t say you’d call them!’
He keeps his voice low, terrified that someone on the other end of the phone is going to hear them. What was Jin thinking? This was not the plan! There had been no plan! Seokjin had just offered to find the name of the place, they hadn’t agreed they’d call them! Was he really expecting Namjoon to speak to the manager with no prep time? He needed to psych himself up first! Needed to prepare a speech, properly formulate his explanations, figure out a way to present the events of today in a way that still made him hireable! He wasn’t ready!
Seokjin shot him a smile that was far too entertained to be reassuring, ‘Trust hyung, okay?’
This man was insane. How the fuck had he missed it? Nothing he had said or done since the moment they’d met had made sense to him even slightly. He’d spent the entire time thinking he was the problem, but Jin was so good-looking it had distracted him from the obvious fact that he was crazy. Did he know anything about this guy other than his name and how old he was? He didn’t even know where he was going or why he was in the area! They had basically just been following the bus route the entire walk, there was no way Jin should have gotten off at that stop in the first place! He had known him all of fifteen minutes and he was already pulling the “trust me” card while on the phone with his potential boss.
Maybe he could tackle him, steal the phone and hang up before the hold music ended.
‘Hello Siwoo-nim, my name is Kim Seokjin, thank you for accepting my call.’
Oh god. Panicking, Namjoon reached for the phone, trying to grab it off him but Jin calmly ducked and swerved around his attempts as if he had boxing training. He might for all Namjoon knew. He’d just learned his last name, how the fuck was he supposed to know what he did in his free time?
‘I’m calling you on behalf of my roommate, Kim Namjoon, I understand he was scheduled for an interview with you today at eleven?’
Why was he claiming he was his roommate? And had Namjoon ever specified when the interview was? He didn’t think he had, was Jin just guessing? He was right, but that had to be a fluke! How bad would it have looked if he was wrong? Was that his goal? To embarrass him? To get him blacklisted from every garden centre in Seoul? Fuck, was that a thing he should worry about?
‘Yes I understand you have been waiting for him for quite some time, he truly is sorry to not be contacting you himself, I apologise on his behalf. He was genuinely looking forward to discussing the opening on your team,’ Jin says, voice not even wavering as he pushes Namjoon away by the forehead, keeping him at arm’s length with one hand, ‘Unfortunately, he was unable to step away from a meeting with his thesis advisor when he realised there was a delay. He’s still with the Professor now.’
He was what? Great, now he couldn’t even yank the phone off him and take over without it being clear someone was lying.
‘He probably wouldn’t want me to mention this,’ Seokjin sighs wistfully, even as Namjoon tries to plead with him with his eyes to not finish whatever this sentence was, ‘but even texting me to contact you was risky with how his Professor is, he has a very strict anti-tech policy in place and if he was caught the meeting will be getting dragged out even longer. But Namjoon understands how valuable your time is and didn't want to disrespect you any further by not contacting you as soon as possible… I understand Siwoo-nim, but it was only supposed to be a short meeting and… Well you see he did leave enough time, there was supposed to be a two-hour window between appointments, but his Professor was extremely late and–’
Jin cuts off, and Namjoon wants to die, but Jin’s smile only seems to grow. Then he laughs, not the squeaky wild way he had a few minutes ago, but a warm, chuckle that wouldn’t have sounded rehearsed if Namjoon didn’t know what he naturally sounded like.
‘Ah, so you’re familiar with Professor Keng?’ Seokjin asks, and Namjoon’s eyes nearly bug out of his head, ‘Has he always been this way?... Ah, if Namjoon-ah had heard that story he never would have overestimated the man’s time-keeping abilities like this. He’s been in a ten-minute meeting for over an hour now… Oh, that’s truly deplorable, I understand he’s an expert in his field but that doesn’t give him the right to… oh wow, I heard about that one, that story is still going around the whole STEM department, that was your year?... Oh, that would be so great, Namjoon-ah will be so relieved, I’ll make sure he contacts you as soon as he’s able to leave the meeting… no, thank you for being so considerate, so many people forget the difficult positions you can be placed in as a college student… Yes, have a great rest of your day… Thank you again… Thank you, goodbye.’
He hangs up the phone, looking pleased with himself and Namjoon just stares, ‘What… what did you just do?’
‘Hm?’ Seokjin asks, eyes wide and innocent as if he hadn’t been casually holding Namjoon’s future hostage, ‘Oh, I got you another interview. Siwoo-nim just asked you to email him when you’re done with your “meeting” to set something up. I’d probably wait for at least another hour for dramatic effect.’
‘...How… why did you…’ Namjoon tries to form a coherent question, but he’s too baffled to know where to start.
‘Well, you said your Professor’s always late and literally everyone has a Professor like that, besides botany is a pretty niche degree so I figured it wouldn’t be too unlikely that the manager may have been through the same university. Besides, lies always sound more believable with a third party backing you, and it’s harder to get mad at someone who’s not involved in the situation so there’s only so mad he could be at me, so I was able to calm him down faster than you would have.’
Jin says it all like it’s the simplest thing in the word and well… it does make sense. He can see the logic, there’s reasoning behind what he did, there’s clearly no malice. But all the same:
‘Not that I’m not grateful but… do you think you could have warned me before you did that?’
Jin raises an eyebrow at him coyly, ‘What kind of crazy person would have said yes?
Namjoon doesn’t have anything he can say in response to that. Seokjin may have a point. No scratch that, he absolutely does, he never would have let him do this. He’s right. He’s still insane though, and lies with a confidence most people reserve for saying the sky is blue.
‘Thank you,’ he eventually settles on saying, ‘He sounded pretty angry at first so… I probably wouldn’t have gotten another shot if you hadn’t done that.’
‘Yeah well, if anyone asks, everyone in your department all still talk about the time Professor Keng showed up forty-five minutes late to the final exam and insisted it would still finish at the assigned time,’ Seokjin grins..
“Wait, wait, wait, we do still talk about that,’ Namjoon gasps, ‘Every TA I’ve ever had has told that story!’
‘Great! You barely even have to lie then,’ Jin says brightly, ‘see, today’s not one big disaster after all.’
‘Not since I got a new good luck charm, no.’
Namjoon takes a second to hear himself, and then wishes he could punch himself in the face with the commitment it deserves. He cringes hard, wondering what the fuck is wrong with him, but after a few seconds without a response he forces himself to take a sidelong glance at Seokjin. He needs to assess the damage he’s done to their budding friendship, but he’s surprised when he sees Seokjin doesn’t look annoyed at all. He’s smiling, but not at Namjoon, he’s staring at the ground and his shiny, shiny eyes almost seem to glow now, he looks… soft and the tips of his ears have turned bright red. That… that can’t possibly have… worked? Could it? No, no, he must just get shy about compliments, he couldn’t be accepting any romantic intentions from him!
But he does need to stop being so adorable before Namjoon has no choice but to squish him.
‘So um,’ Seokjin says at a mildly unnatural volume, looking around and blinking far too many times, cute, ‘... which direction were we walking again?’
Namjoon grins and points across another intersection, ‘That way, or at least I was, I don’t actually know where you’re going.’
‘Does anyone in this life?’ Seokjin says as if it’s an answer, and then repeatedly hits the button to let them cross like a bored toddler only for the pedestrian signal to immediately light up, hardly surprising for the universe’s favourite, ‘Let’s go Joonie.’
He grabs Namjoon by the hand, pulls him across the road and then just… doesn’t let go. Strange, but Namjoon is not going to complain, it feels nice. He can’t remember the last time someone held his hand for this long, there’s usually not a reason to do something like this, but Jin seems to just… want to. Which he doesn’t know what to make of, he barely knows the guy, how is he supposed to know if this is a usual thing for him? Maybe he should try to fix that, it feels so bizarre to owe so much to someone who he doesn’t know the first thing about.
‘Hey Jin-hyung,’ he starts, ‘what’s your deal?’
Jin looks at him with a slightly scrunched face, tilting his head to the side, ‘...gay?’
Namjoon shouldn’t laugh, but he can’t help it, ‘no, no I mean, good to know I just meant–’ he laughs again as Jin thwacks him, ‘Hey, I’m pan, I’m not judging, I just meant like, what’s your story? No offence dude, but I–’
‘Don’t dude me,’ Jin complains like it’s a great injustice and hits him again.
‘I know you’re name, your age and you vaguely referenced having a PR degree that’s going to waste. I know literally nothing else about you,’ Namjoon laughs, ‘Shouldn’t I know something about the person who saved me from a hospital bill and unemployment?
‘Oh,’ Jin says with a muffled laugh,, ‘Sorry that’s a bad habit, I didn’t mean to be closed off. What do you want to know?’
‘Other than how not talking about yourself is a bad habit?’ Namjoon snorts, ‘I don’t know hyung, basic things! Like where you’re from, what you do for work, where you went to college, what your favourite colour is, what the hell you’re doing in this neighbourhood in the first place.’
‘Pink!’ Jin says cheerfully, ‘and I’m from Anyang originally, but I’ve been living in Seoul since I finished high school, I went through SNU and– wait, I don’t know any of those things about you, this is not fair–’
‘Blue, Ilsan and KU,’ Namjoon butts in before he can derail them with another rant, ‘Now stop dodging my other questions, are you a hitman or something? Is that why you won’t say? Were you sent to kill me?’
‘Aish the nerve of this generation, so disrespectful of their elders–’ Jin starts, but when Namjoon gives him a blank stare he sighs and says, ‘I model, okay? Or well, at least I’m trying to.’
‘Oh, that’s cool, how long–’ Namjoon starts, but Jin has looked away already and while he can’t see his face anymore, he can see his ears which are burning cherry red.
‘I’m not dumb, and it’s not like a vanity thing,’ Seokjin says extremely quickly, ‘I graduated at the top of my class and I got hired by a massive PR firm I’d been interning for during university. I was doing really well, I was getting promoted every six months and I was good at my job, I just hated it! The day-to-day was so boring, but you also had to be on call 24/7 in case some rich asshole got into a scandal and then you’d have to drop everything to try to justify why what they did wasn’t as morally deranged as it sounds and– it sucked, okay? Modelling seemed more exciting, but in a more positive direction, you know? I’ve only been at it for six months and I haven’t landed anything major yet, just some catalogues and a few watch ads, but I’m making progress! Or well, kind of, I thought I was, until this morning and– I’m sorry, that was a lot, you don’t want to hear about all this.’
It had all come out in a single wave, frustration, indigence, a desperate attempt to downplay things laced with a plea for understanding. He spoke faster than 98% of the rappers Namjoon listened to, not even pausing to draw breath, to the point it took a few seconds to fully absorb what he’d said. But it finally occurred to Namjoon now that he might not be the only one having a shitty day. Seokjin was so upbeat he wouldn’t have suspected it, but maybe that was his coping mechanism, maybe that was why he’d decided to start talking to him in the first place. Perhaps he’d wanted someone to commiserate with even if he was reluctant to share his own side of things. Seokjin had taken his terrible day and flipped it on its head, made him feel there were brighter days to come. It was only fair he tried to do the same.
‘Hey I’m not–’ he frowned, trying to think of the best way to phrase things when speaking about what was clearly a sensitive subject, ‘I don’t think poorly of you for trying to pursue modelling. It’s a little different, but office jobs can be soul-destroying and PR wasn't making you happy… Do you mind if I ask what happened this morning?’
‘Oh we don’t have to talk about that,’ Jin deflects, but hesitates when Namjoon squeezes his hand, deflating as he mutters, ‘It’s stupid.’
‘It isn’t if it’s upsetting you.’
Jin turns back to look at Namjoon, studying his face for a long moment before he heaves out a heavy sigh, ‘every time I think I’ve got my foot in the door, it blows up in my face,’ he admits, ‘I was at a casting call this morning, and I’ve been to so many but this was the first time a company requested I attend. They were looking for new faces and a photographer I’ve worked with before was assisting with the campaign. I thought this was my moment, all these months of running around the city and attending tedious networking events was finally accumulating into something tangible. But then this chaebol walked in and well… it’s just how it goes.’
‘That must have been really disappointing, I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘It’s fine,’ Jin cringes, his face contorting in a way that makes it clear he’s trying to be reasonable even though it’s not something he wants to do, ‘There’s a lot of people with money and connections that I don’t have that want to make it big in the industry too. Everyone deals with this shit. And I even get why they want to, everyone wants something, and when you already have wealth and status, fame probably feels like the next logical step. The problem I have with it is… so many of them approach it as a job that doesn’t require any real work, and maybe for them it doesn’t. But for those of us who actually put the effort into developing the skills that excelling in this industry requires, it’s just so— Fuck, I’m not trying to complain, I’m sorry, I know this must seem so superficial to you but–’
‘It doesn’t at all,’ Namjoon insists, ‘it takes a lot of time and effort to do what you do, wanting success to be determined by ability rather than family ties is only natural. Nepotism is wrong in any industry, regardless of whether or not the general public understands how difficult a lot of what you do is. Breaking into the modelling industry requires you to shape your entire life around ensuring you’re prepared for an opportunity that may never arise. No one cares if I have a cut on my hand or my face is bloated from eating ramyeon last night, but that could cost you a billion-won contract.’
‘God it’s all so petty, I must sound so ridiculous to you right now for complaining–’
‘Hey, don’t put words in my mouth hyung, I really wish you wouldn’t devalue something that clearly means a lot to you,’ Namjoon says firmly, trying to sound confident enough to cut through Jin’s doubts and deflections, ‘Models are the glue that holds together the fashion and cosmetic industries, most of the advertising industry would crumble without them. Sure, there are some luxury benefits if you’re one of the lucky few who make it to the top, but it’s not easy work. There are endless long days with weird hours, you have to manage seasonal fluctuations in a role that’s largely rooted in the gig economy and you have to maintain your composure even when dealing with incredibly uncomfortable physical and environmental conditions. You have to be as spotless as possible in your personal life and play nice with an endless stream of rich assholes who make a living off nitpicking your entire existence and probably ended up in their position for all the wrong reasons. Throw in the nepo babies who might waltz in and snatch a deal you’ve spent months or even years networking to get because they’re the spawn of some rich investor– I couldn’t do what you do, most people couldn’t. So don’t sell yourself short because there are some superficial morons in the world who can’t see the effort it has taken for you to succeed.’
Jin comes to an abrupt halt, staring at Namjoon with his mouth agape, blinking at him as if he’s not real, ‘how… how do you… Where did that even come from? Namjoon… what the hell? I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who’d even considered half of that stuff before I tried to explain it to them. Let alone having a full spiel prepared, what the– Explain, now, please.’
Namjoon blooms scarlet, but at least he has an excuse for why he’s so ready to defend Jin’s career choices, ‘I have a cousin who modelled for a while, never any major campaigns but she worked hard on it for a few years. It’s not like I have any personal experience, but I was in high school at the time and everyone knew about it so I got bombarded by people’s opinions. The moment they found out what she was doing, people were so ready to judge her for it. It took zero prompting for complete strangers to offer their unqualified views on whether she was pretty enough, or skinny enough, or special enough to be there. They acted like it made her egotistical or desperate for attention, like she was easy or had taken the easy way out. I hated watching that, especially when I knew how hard she was working.’
‘Oh…’ Jin says, his voice is tight, but now that Namjoon has started talking, he can’t stop.
‘She told me about this photoshoot she went on right before she quit. It was winter and she was out in this field in the middle of the night, it took the photographers hours to get everything they were looking for and she spent the entire time barefoot in a tulle gown. She had to maintain the right facial expressions and follow all the directions for poses being shouted at her by men in thick coats and puffer jackets, while trying not to shiver too noticeably because it might ruin the shot. She was literally running back and forth between the set and her manager’s car so she wouldn’t get hypothermia or frostbite,’ Namjoon huffs, the next part still making him furious even all these years later, ‘There isn’t a union in the world who would approve those kinds of working conditions, but she didn’t complain once, the photos turned out beautiful. But the perfume company changed their mind on their branding direction at the last minute, she went from the face of the campaign to a footnote in seconds.’
‘Oh…’ Jin says, eyes clouding with devastation, ‘That’s… that’s so sad, she worked so hard and just… nothing.’
‘It’s unfortunately not an uncommon story,’ Namjoon sighs, but upon realising how genuinely sad Jin looks he tacts on, ‘don’t worry about it too much, yeah? She’s doing great, she owns her own hot yoga studio and she has the photos blown up on every wall so that if anyone complains about the temperature she can treat them like the babies they are.’
His efforts earn him a smile and a short laugh, ‘god, maybe I should just quit and do that. I’m pretty bendy, I could pull it off.’
Namjoon’s brain, to its credit, only trips a little bit on that information and he’s proud of himself for keeping his reaction only to some startled blinking, ‘I’m not trying to discourage you from modelling or anything like that, I just wanted to make sure you know you don’t have to justify your choices to me,’ he says earnestly, taking a deep breath, ‘You’re beautiful Jin and it’s clear to me you’re working hard, one day you’ll get the opportunity you deserve. But you shouldn’t downplay what you’re trying to achieve in the meantime, if it’s important to you that’s all that matters. There are always going to be assholes who look down on it, who see it as “easy” or “stupid” or “vain” but you shouldn’t do their job for them by speaking negatively about yourself. I’m not saying you can’t have moments of uncertainty or doubt, that you can’t leave it behind if you decide it’s not for you, but don’t waste your time trying to change their minds. You’ll only set yourself up for failure if you spend all your time trying to pre-emptively compensate for all the ways you may or may not be being judged. Just be confident in what you want, you’re the only one who needs to know how hard you’ve worked.’
For a long moment, Seokjin stares at him, eyes swimming with something unknowable before he asks in a low voice, ‘Namjoon-ah, how far away are we from your apartment?’
‘Um…’ Namjoon frowns, looking around his surroundings to confirm, ‘Maybe five minutes still, why?’
‘... Too long,’ Jin says with certainty, pulling on their joint hands until Namjoon follows him into a side alley.
They’re only a few meters from the street, so Namjoon doesn’t feel unsafe by any means, but he does feel a bit confused. Or at least he does until Jin drops his hand, grabs him by the face, pushes him up against the wall and kisses him like a man starved. His lips are somehow even softer than they looked, so plush and warm and it’s barely more than a few seconds before his tongue gets involved and Namjoon nearly passes out.
Seokjin’s kisses are filthy, desperate but confident, unwavering in their intensity and Namjoon is just trying to keep up. He doesn’t know why this is happening, he doesn’t know how he got so lucky, but he isn’t about to let this opportunity go to waste. He wraps an arm around Jin’s ridiculous waist to keep him as close as possible, his other hand comes up to cup his jaw and the hum of approval he earns for that sends a vibration through his entire body. There’s every chance he sounds pathetic right now, he’s out of breath and a needy, keening noise is emanating from his throat but he doesn’t care. If nothing he’s done up to this point has turned Seokjin off the idea of kissing him, he can hardly embarrass himself now. He knows how much he wants him, how attracted he’s been to him since the moment they met and despite how awkward he’s been about it, Seokjin is still kissing him— so no matter what happens, he’s won.
Jin bites his lower lip hard and Namjoon groans as his knees nearly give way, head tipping back until it hits the wall. He’s just trying to breathe for a second, but Jin takes this as an invitation to dive into his neck, licking and sucking and scraping his teeth along his pulse point. His heart is clearly pounding like a jackhammer, because Jin giggles and presses a light kiss to the spot, before dragging his lips to a sensitive spot at the juncture between his neck and jaw and starting to suck hard enough to leave a mark.
‘Holy shit,’ Namjoon says breathlessly, ‘what the fuck.’
Jin chuckles lowly and it makes Namjoon feel even more lightheaded, ‘you’re so fucking cute,’ he mumbles and Namjoon can feel him smiling against his skin.
‘I… I… what… why…’ he’s vaguely aware he’s usually more eloquent than this, but he still can’t believe this is happening, ‘Since when do… what?’
Jin pulls back, stroking his thumb along the ridge of Namjoon’s cheekbone, a smug, wolfish smile consuming his usually gentle face, ‘Oh Joonie, you have no idea what you do to me, do you?’
‘I… what?’
Jin laughs again and swoops in for a kiss that rattles Namjoon’s brain and does nothing to clear the fog that has consumed him, ‘You had me from the moment you opened your pretty mouth.’
‘The moment I…’ Namjoon trails off, distracted as Jin’s lips return to his neck, ‘wait, wait, wait.’
Frowning in concern, Jin pulls back and Namjoon has to force himself to focus because fuck he looks even prettier after he’s been kissed, ‘is everything okay?’ he murmurs, voice changing from husky to tender in an instant.
‘Incredible,’ Namjoon assures breathlessly, but he needs to know, ‘but are you seriously trying to tell me that stupid line worked?’
Whatever response he expected, it was not for Jin to suddenly look so shifty-eyed, his embarrassment and guilt immediately obvious, ‘You’re really hot, okay?’ he says like it physically pains him.
‘…I am?’
Jin’s expression indicates he’s asked a very stupid question, ‘Namjoon-ah,’ he says flatly, a lecture clearly on the horizon, ‘I have no idea where your neighbourhood is, I literally don’t know where the fuck we are right now. I was supposed to stay on that bus for another hour, but I got off because I wanted to stick my tongue down your throat.’
‘You what? Namjoon says disbelievingly, ‘But you’re… you’re so gorgeous and I’m—‘
‘Excuse me, did you not just give me a lecture on negative self-talk?’ Jin cuts across him, pressing a kiss to his cheek, ‘You’re so fucking handsome, do you really not understand that?’
‘… I don’t think I’m unattractive,’ Namjoon words carefully, ‘But in your league? I think we both know that’s a little—‘
Namjoon only has a split-second view of Jin rolling his eyes before he’s back to kissing him and god he’s never felt this wanted in his life. Jin is shameless in his efforts to devour him, he sucks on his bottom lip, nips him with his teeth and even presses his thumbs into his jaw to get him to open wider. It should be illegal for him to be this good with his tongue, should be impossible to be this beautiful on top of being smart, funny, kind and a fucking fantastic kisser. Seokjin truly is the universe’s favourite, but Namjoon isn’t even jealous anymore, he’s just grateful to be on the receiving end of these blessings.
He’s never been so turned on by a kiss, so he can’t help but whine when Seokjin pulls back, his smirk electric and his smoulder mythic, ‘Baby,’ he says, and Namjoon’s vision goes dark for a second, ‘What was that thing you said before, hm? Don’t put words in my mouth? I would really suggest not doing that, there are far more fun things we could be putting there.’
‘Holy fuck.’
‘I know exactly what I find attractive, so don’t act like I don’t know precisely what I’m doing,’ Jin says, caressing Namjoon’s swollen lips with his thumb, ‘I know you’re so good-looking I was already looking at you on the bus before you fell, it was the only reason I reacted fast enough to catch you. I know that dumb pick-up line sounded hot when it came from you and that you looked so fucking cute when you got embarrassed by it that I had to have you. Funny thing was, I was just looking for an ego boost after I got disappointed this morning, so a himbo fresh from the gym who couldn’t stop ogling me was just what the doctor ordered.’
‘But I’m not—‘
‘I know baby, you’re so much better,’ Jin smiles and once again kisses his cheek like Namjoon’s heart isn’t three seconds from falling out of his chest and right into his hands, ‘when we ended up so far from your apartment I was just hoping you wouldn’t say something on the walk over here that would change my mind about fucking you. But it turns out, not only are you sexy and adorable, you’re smart and funny and sweet and thoughtful in a way that makes my only regret that I’m too impatient to buy you dinner before we take this back to your place… Unless that’s something you want, because I like you, Kim Namjoon, and I’m not about to ruin things by moving too fast.’
‘I like you too,’ Namjoon whispers, heart pounding so fast he might flatline, ‘I… I… We can just order lunch after, right?’
Jin bursts out laughing and kisses him again, but this time it’s different. It’s light and playful, something he’d call teasing if it wasn’t so sweet. It’s like he’s kissing him just because he wants to, because he feels like it, because he can. How this day went from such a nightmare that he regretted leaving the house, to potentially the best day of his life he doesn’t know— but he’s not going to question it. If he hadn’t been such a disaster, he never would have met Seokjin, and that was worth all the misfortune in the world.
‘Come on, take me home Joonie,’ Seokjin grins, with one final peck on his lips, ‘and if we’re not too worn out, I might just make you lunch after.’
Namjoon smiles, heart soaring as he follows Jin back to the main road and they start the last few minutes remaining on the walk to his apartment. Jin links their arms together, resting his head against his as they walk and giggling when Namjoon presses a kiss of his own on his forehead. It’s a dramatic contrast from a few seconds ago, but he feels so happy he doesn’t know what to do with it. It just feels good, like this is something that’s going to last.
Well, as long as Seokjin doesn’t run away after one final confession from him.
‘We probably will have to order,’ he admits and when Seokjin looks at him, an impressed eyebrow starting to raise, he corrects the hopeful thought in his head, ‘I don’t know if I have anything in my fridge, I’ve been banned from the kitchen by every roommate I’ve ever had.’
Jin examines his face as they walk, studying him, debating something in his head. Namjoon lets him think, praying he hasn’t managed to ruin things with the man he’s already halfway in love with after less than an hour in his presence.
‘Namjoon-ah.’
‘Yes hyung?’
‘…What does it say about me, that knowing that makes you even hotter?’